All Hail King Julien (2014) s04e03 Episode Script

Who Arted?

1 - [Mort chuckles.]
- [growls.]
- [Mort.]
I'm okay! - [laughs.]
[theme song playing.]
Party - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # Get down for the get down - # Everybody party with King who? # - # King Julien! # - # King who? # - # King Julien! # Tonight will be forever Let's do King Julien style Woof! Whoa, oh, whoa, oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa, oh, whoa, oh All hail King Julien! [Julien.]
Mort's art! I killed Mort's art! - Please open this door.
- [Julien yells.]
I told you kind and gentle is for babies.
- Hiya! - Your Majesty, no! Mort's art! Remain calm, King Julien I can fix this.
What say what? Mm.
Yeah, it's just pomegranate juices.
The king's been eating his feelings again.
I know it's hard, but sometimes, you've got to accept things as they are.
How, Maurice? How? For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a great artiste.
You didn't even mention it until we had that art show last week.
My memory is shot, Mark Mike Manfred Whoever you are.
See? Shot.
Boom.
Oh, if only there were some way to turn back the hands of the hourglass so this obsession never started.
Whose brilliant idea was that stupid art show in the first place, huh? Having this art show was definitely my brilliant idea.
All mine! Well, it does seem good for morale.
Mine! Mine-y mine-mine, mine! And at the very least, it could sedate the masses into ignoring the cold, hard truths of their sad, boring lives.
[whimpers.]
It's not working.
And some of it's pretty good, too.
Who knew we had so many creative types in the kingdom? - [grunts.]
- The body is the medium.
- [both groan.]
- [laughing.]
So, what do you think? - Huh? - [both gasp.]
I take back what I said about all creative types.
I literally want to injure whoever is responsible for this.
You guys don't like my self-portrait? Ah.
[stammering.]
You really captured your [exclaiming.]
tentacles.
I know, right? I was totally on the fence about whether the tentacles, and also having a horse body from the waist down, would be too much, you know? No, no! Not at all.
You nailed it.
[laughs.]
So, you're saying you think I have a future as an artiste! [laughs.]
Do you? Say yes.
Don't think, just say yes.
- Um - Future's a pretty loaded term.
- That really demonstrates skill - How about that? [exclaims.]
I demand to know who made me look so regal and wise, and ready to party! - [laughs.]
I love it! - Hi! Mort, you painted this? Yeah.
Sorry.
I wish I had enough time to make it good.
[Julien.]
It was better than good.
It was crazy good.
The composition, the colors Mort's painting was a triumph of the lemur spirit.
A work of divine inspiration.
I hated it immediately.
Eh Just so we're clear, everyone's impressed at how awesome I look in the painting, right? You could argue the painting of you looks better than the real thing.
Hmm.
[slurps.]
[chuckles.]
Right, but I mean, without me, it would just be some dumb canvas with oil and color swatches and stuff.
- [Julien exclaims.]
- [screams.]
Pretty bush league, really.
Pretty bush.
Know what I'm sayin'? Who's with me? In a sense, I mean, we are definitely with you.
Mort! This is the most exciting thing to hit the kingdom's art world in, well, ever.
Art world? Well, it's pretty much just me and Dorothy at the moment.
Oh, but we're very passionate.
Hey, Mort, how much you want for this thing? Uh Mort, Xixi here.
How does it feel to be the town's hottest new artist? Hungry.
You heard it here first, folks.
This is one artist who is hungry to make a name for himself.
[Julien.]
What was happening? How could I, the king, be upstaged by this vulgar little mutant? Seriously, though.
When's lunch? I haven't eaten in, like, a month.
I don't understand.
I poured my heart and soul, and other body parts into this.
It was supposed to be my masterpiece.
Hey, just because Mort's painting was good doesn't mean yours was bad.
Maurice is right, Your Majesty.
You should be happy that Mort's finally being recognized for something he's good at.
- [retching.]
- [exclaiming.]
And besides, this'll blow over soon enough.
[grunts.]
I don't know if you noticed, but the citizens here aren't exactly art snobs.
[coughing, hacking.]
Hey, Abner, come take a look at this thing I just coughed up.
- She's a beaut.
- [Maurice retching.]
[Julien.]
But in the days that followed, Mort's fame only grew, blossoming like I don't know, something like, something that blossoms? You know, hives? Do they blo I don't know.
I'm real itchy right now.
So [Julien.]
Mort's fame only grew.
You know, I've always been good at smearing stuff.
[all laugh.]
Wait, what did he say? [laughs.]
Somebody please tell me why we're laughing.
[Julien.]
Soon, Mort was having parties with actual guests, not just his collection of old mannequins made from rotten mango cores.
Has the overnight fame changed you? Uh-Uh.
If we wore pants, I'd still put 'em over my head one arm at time, just like everybody else.
- Isn't he a hoot, folks! - [applause.]
[Julien.]
And the more popular Mort became, the more impossible it became to do my own work.
Shirts and skins! We can't print these fast enough.
Everybody's cuckoo for 'em.
Mort, we need you to sign these so they're official.
[giggles.]
Ooh! The ink is chilly.
[laughs.]
[Julien.]
As Mort's stardom rose, I soon realized if I hoped to be a great artiste I would need his blessing.
Explain again why you're trying to impress Mort? As Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Art is all about who you know, Clover.
" I invite Mort over, wine and dine him, and then Oo-yaka! Show him my masterpiece.
"Oh, King Julien! I love it! I love it! Please be my art partner.
I will tell the art world how great you are!" Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Boom! I'm the new hotness of the art world.
[laughs.]
Where's the new painting? Right this way.
I should warn you, it's the kind of daring artistic statement that could change you, like, profoundly.
- [both scream.]
- I know, Mo-mo.
Your Majesty, you are really great at loads of things.
Oh? Interesting.
Like what? Like Maurice? [laughs.]
I should really check on the kumquat fritters.
[giggles.]
My King Julien has invited me to dinner.
My dreams are all coming true.
No, no.
You have to stay cool in there if you really want the king's approval.
Make him work for it.
But, the feet! It's just simple science, everyone wants what they can't have.
I want to be a lady dolphin, saved from the tuna net of my own ego by a handsome marine biologist with kind eyes.
[laughs and snorts.]
If you think I should hide my true feelings from King Julien, I will.
Mm-hm.
[grunts.]
Mortimer! My main man! [laughs.]
[exclaims.]
[Mort.]
Okay, Mort.
Be cool, man.
Be cool.
But his fur looks so soft.
Is he using a new conditioner? Ow! I said be cool! I'm sorry! I just like him so much! This ain't no time to be catchin' feelings.
[mumbling.]
Eh, Mort? [giggles.]
- Cool.
- 'Sup.
Brought my crew.
Let me take your coats.
[giggles.]
Mo-Mo, appeteasers, now! Three-day weekend! - What-what? - [Clover sighs.]
Offer Mort your seat, Clover.
It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
I'm not sitting, Your Majesty.
Stop making excuses.
We have special guests.
I am so sorry.
They're usually more on the ball than this.
Oh, that's okay [coughing.]
We talked about this.
I mean Yeesh! But what can you do? You know? The way things are.
Pretty disappointing.
We really whipped up something special.
Great golly, it's working.
Xixi, what are you doing hanging out with Mort? Aren't you supposed to be a journalist or something? Journalist-schmournalist, I'm a TV personality.
And that reminds me, Sage, do I have a green light to take a run at that or no? You don't have to answer now.
So, I figured maybe we'd get our eat on, and then go in the other room so I can unveil my latest painting.
Uh, the usual.
[giggles.]
I cannot wait! Oh, dusty moccasins! What time is it? Hate to eat and run, King, but we've got that big exclusive gallery opening tonight.
But King Julien can come, right? [growls.]
[Mort.]
I warned you, man! I hate when you make me do this! I mean, sorry, but I only got a plus-four.
So, Sage, how tall are you? - [Xixi giggling.]
- [sobbing.]
What was that? You two blew it.
Us? Mort's art friends were the ones being jerks.
Uh, 'cause they're creative, Maurice.
And creative types are all jerks.
And those jerks didn't even get to see my new painting.
They'll have other opportunities to see it.
Oh, yes they will, Clover, they will.
They will see it tonight at the gallery.
We'll secretly place it among Mort's art.
The critics and art lovers will be awed by this daring new direction.
And just as the excitement can't grow any bigger, I expose myself as the true artiste! [laughs.]
"Expose yourself"? For while King Julien may not have a ticket to the big gallery opening uh, Chair Lemur-Table does.
How's it goin'? Chair Lemur-Table does not have a ticket to the big gallery opening either.
Oh, uh, I didn't realize.
Guess we're breaking in then.
- Oy! - [groans.]
[classical music playing.]
[laughs.]
What do you think? Pretty sweet, huh? Oh, yeah, it's like the artist has deconstructed the very notion of fruit, forcing us to examine it as a symbol, rather than a tangible source of nourishment.
I was gonna say it looked nice and [slurping.]
ripe.
- [blows raspberry.]
- Where did you learn about art? Well, I used to be a Let's just say "freelance art collector.
" I love it, but I don't understand it.
Which makes me love it even more! What does it mean, Mort? Mm.
I just thought it would be fun to eat fruit off a pedestal instead of a table.
Mind blown! [imitates explosion.]
You all know the plan, right? Maurice and I create a diversion and then we [coughs.]
[sighs.]
[Southern accent.]
We create a diversion while you sneak around the back and plant the painting.
Bingo! And if you get caught, deny any knowledge of Chair Lemur-Table.
[mumbling.]
Hi.
[retching.]
Somebody's gonna spot him.
Attention, the fellow art lovers! Yoo-hoo! Over here.
This is great.
I have an announcement to make.
- Who are you? - Me? Oh, I am a big fancy art critic, yeah, here to look at the lovely work that is at this end of the room.
Yeah.
Over here is where all the good stuff is, you see.
Fancy art critics, huh? What are your names? Me? I'm Mango Painting Loser.
Yeah! Mango Painting-Loser.
That's my real name.
And I'm Chaz Bondurant, you see.
International Master of Seduction, now you see.
- Really? - Oh, like yours was so much better.
Oh, my stars! What is that masterpiece on the wall over there? I didn't notice it before.
As greatest critic of all time, I, Chair Lemur-Table, declare this to be the work of a true visionary.
[all gasping.]
Ew trey! It's horrible! I so wish I was blind! Well, hold on.
We should hear what Mort thinks about it.
His opinion is the most important thing.
Pretty cool This is a lot of force.
I think I ate too much art.
[all.]
Ooh.
- That's amazing.
- This is a game changer.
- Daring work.
- Look it! I get it.
But does it get me? Oh, my stars! That painting was just awful and uninspired before, but Mort made it magical! Oh, I've got the tingles! Been saying it all along, don't ya know.
Mort is a genius.
Surprise! It is me! The co-creator of this piece! King Julien! [Julien.]
With a single geyser of stomach acid and chunks of fruit, Mort had once again upstaged me.
Okay, I see that crazy look in your eyes.
Crazy? [laughs.]
Relax.
Chill, dude.
I'm fine.
I mean, it's me we're talking about here.
Let's not do anything like By the power invested in me by the sky gods and also my uncle when he tried to kill me, I royally decree all art is now illegal! Like that.
[all exclaiming.]
Everyone must turn in any art to me for safekeeping.
I promise this is for your own good and not 'cause I'm jealous of Mort.
[Julien.]
So, we had a fun little reverse art show.
Instead of selling art, we were taking it back without fairly compensating the owners.
Old school.
There's got to be another way, Your Majesty.
Art hurts people's feelings.
I don't want any of my peoples to ever be hurt by this art again.
So I'm putting it somewhere safe.
Shame.
This was the first time I was ever able to look at King Julien as a normal lemur and not a tyrant I wanted to assassinate.
Your honesty is a breath of fresh air, Becca.
- Next! - There you go.
Mind the gap.
King Julien, look at them.
This is hurting everybody even worse.
Mort's devastated.
[Mort crying.]
I just wanted everyone to see King Julien the way I see him.
[wailing.]
Ted, Dorothy, tell me you have good news.
Oh, boy, do we! Nearly all Mort's pieces are accounted for.
And even better, the art we haven't located has gone way up in value! Not that we've been reaping the benefits of a bustling illegal underground art trade.
You're telling me that by banning art, I've made it even more popular and valuable? Everybody wants what they can't have.
Then I know what I must do.
Clover! Round up any remaining pieces of art.
Kick down every door in the kingdom if you have to.
Your Majesty, this has gone far enough.
Do it, Clover! I'm not asking.
On it.
You know who would make a decree like that? Your uncle.
[grumbling.]
Well, that's actually a compliment, Maurice, because Uncle King Julien has aged really well.
Still has most of his hair and teeth.
So, thanks for the kindly words! Buddy! [Julien.]
By outlawing art, I had saved all of my peoples from the heartache that art causes.
At least that's what I told myself.
[inhales, then exhales deeply.]
[screams.]
[screams.]
[screams.]
Now Mort was taunting me [screams.]
Times infinity! And his act of civilized disobedience was another reminder of how "just-okay" I was at art.
I did something I wasn't proud of.
Well, this is what happens when you art all over town.
You basically arted in everyone's faces.
King Julien, it wasn't me.
I would never do anything to hurt you! [kisses.]
- [grunts.]
- When it comes to arting, it's the one who denies it who supplies it.
You're on lock-down.
Clover, make sure he stays inside.
Imprisoning my own lackey? It wasn't me doing those things.
It was art.
Why did the sky gods give Mort all the talent? But in the days that followed, I was haunted by dark dreams.
[Maurice.]
Your uncle Your uncle Your uncle [screams.]
[exclaims.]
[screams.]
Ooh, booty! [screams.]
[Mort growling.]
[Julien screams.]
[gasps.]
[panting.]
[screams.]
Whew! [Julien.]
I took a stroll to clear my brainy-parts.
Perhaps I was too hard on Mort.
Maybe I should have given him a second What? [Julien screams.]
It's the poster! [exclaims and screams.]
It's a poster! It's another poster! No! [screams.]
[laughs maniacally.]
Look at it! It's another one! [Julien.]
The posters taunted me, like they were trying to get me to confess something awful.
Then, I did.
I killed Mort's art! [sobbing.]
I don't understand where all those new posters came from if Clover was watching Mort.
Well, perhaps someone else was putting up the posters as an act of rebellion.
Often the more you try to silence free expression, the more it pops up.
I wanted to be a great artiste.
This is the first time I've ever wanted something I didn't get.
Good.
Not getting what you want builds character.
Yeah? Why does character-building have to be so unpleasant? It's okay, Your Majesty.
Mm.
Mm.
[groans.]
Eh? Is someone stuck to me? Must be the pomegranate juice that's making your fur sticky.
- [laughs.]
- I didn't get it on my back.
- [grunts.]
- Ow! [grunts.]
[shivers.]
Wait a minute! Mm-hmm.
Paste.
And your face is smudged with ink.
No, it's not.
[grunts.]
Why is your paw sticky, Clover? Huh? Why? Why? You gonna tell me? Why? Why? Why? Is it paste? Is it? Why? Clover? Why? Tell me.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Yes! It was me, okay? - [Julien gasps.]
- I hung the posters.
But what you were doing to Mort wasn't right! [straining.]
You broke a rule? Why? [straining.]
I respect the law but I also think if the law is unjust, [grunts.]
everyone has a responsibility to fight against it.
Get off! I passed an unjust law, didn't I? I became a monster.
Worse, I became Uncle King Julien.
Mort doesn't deserve that.
Art is the only thing that gives that little trainwreck's life meaning.
What do I do? Just tell him you're sorry.
He'll forgive you.
[whimpering.]
[shushes.]
Go to him.
Go! [Mort exclaiming.]
Feet! [giggles.]
King Julien! [clears throat.]
Mort.
I've been a jerk.
And not one of those cool, creative jerks.
- I got jealous that you were good at art.
- [exclaiming.]
I'm sorry.
I'm making art legal again.
Really? Oh, that makes me so happy! Yeah, any time you feel the urge to art, you know what? Let 'er rip, buddy.
All right, okay, bring it in.
Oh! [exclaiming.]
I waited for you, the feet.
[kisses.]
- Okay, yeah, soak it all in, buddy.
- Oh, yeah! [exclaiming.]
Yeah, get a good one in there.
[laughs.]
[exclaiming.]
Oh, Maurice, come on, man! Your feet smell like a dirty diaper filled with cabbage! [groans.]
It's bad.
- [exclaims.]
- [groans.]
[classical music playing.]

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