All Hail King Julien (2014) s05e01 Episode Script

The Strife Aquatic

I'm okay! There's too many! Don't worry, Clover, I've got your back.
Me too! Hi! Don't wanna die this way! Maurice! Where's King Julien? Only he can save us.
- Did someone call my name? - Huh? Sky Gods, keytar me! Julien! My double neck keytar is made from purebred albino dragon incisors, Julien.
Forged in the flames of Grogdomor.
Once played by Patrick the Defiled One.
Never! King Julien, wake up! King Julien.
King Julien, wake up! King Julien.
Koto! Everyone behind me except Mort! He said my name.
King Julien.
It's okay.
You're safe.
It was just a dream.
A dream? But it was so real.
Koto kicked me out of my own kingdom.
I ran away to an island where Crimson tried to feed me to a tentacle that wrote poetry.
I pulled a heist with some sharks.
I even wore a foosa costume with Karl so I could stop Koto's wedding and get my kingdom back.
And you were there, Clover.
And Maurice was there.
And Mort.
Oh, I'm still here, King Julien.
Your Majesty, it wasn't a dream.
It all happened, and more.
I really defeated Koto with my keytar? Uh, sure.
Uh, why not? We really did a number on this place.
Maurice, what are all those goo puddles? Snail trails, Your Majesty.
They should dry up in a week or so.
Snail trails? Whose fault is that, Maurice? Your Mort horde ate half our mango supplies! At least they didn't rub their mucus on everything! Enough, you two.
The important thing is the kingdom is safe, and it'll be back to normal soon.
No, Clover, the kingdom won't be back to normal soon.
Not if I can help it.
King Julien, what are you Silence, Mo-Mo.
I'm going to do some speechifying and I think there might be a point.
Lemurs of Madagascar, can I have your attention? In the past months, we've experienced forced labor camps, monkeys in zeppelins, tacky inter-species weddings and Willie.
What the heck, man? Now, in the face of all this adversity, it would be pretty easy to punch the negative card.
To blame Maurice and just leave.
But I am asking you not to do this.
- I don't want to leave.
- Who wants to leave? And where would we go? Don't be sad for us, be glad for us.
We've been given a gift, peoples.
A chance to do it all again, only this time we'll do it the right way.
Yep! His mind is gone.
Horst, where are your bolos? Hold on, Hector, I think King J is trying to say we're gonna learn from our mistakes? I mean, am I right? Did I win something? No, Ted, this time I'm going to be the one learning.
Because from now on, I'm listening to my peoples.
Julien 2.
0, y'all.
I'm gonna do what you want.
Your voices, not mine, will be the most important in the kingdom.
Well? What do you think? That nonsense actually might not be a bad idea.
I mean, Clover? - I'm out of here.
- Where are you going? I promised Sage I'd help him look for a new location for his kingdom.
Since Koto burned his down.
So, uh, you two are house hunting together? Yeah.
No! I mean It's, ooh, it's ju Oh.
Clover's got a boy No.
Sage and I are colleagues.
Uh, nothing else.
But for the record.
The people are idiots, Your Majesty.
Incapable of governing themselves.
This will end in disaster.
So you think my idea is genius? See you in a week.
I'm okay.
Hello, Mort! Zora, please, I'm working.
King Julien is desperate for my ideas for Julien 2.
Oh, sorry, my love.
May I see? Ooh! What is "toenail garden"? It's very technical, you wouldn't understand! Ooh, you so wise, Mort.
Our family will be full of genius.
Family? Um, full disclosure, I haven't laid an egg in, like, 40 years, and even then the thing that I hatched was really gross.
Oh! You have unleashed real woman in Zora, Mort.
Oh, no turning back.
Mm I have before me all of your anonymous suggestions as to how to remake our kingdom.
Don't forget mine! Read my ideas first, Your Majesty.
Mine first! What part of anonymous don't you understand, you little skin tag! Now, let's see what we have.
Eh "People should shut up and leave me alone.
You got a problem with that?" Signed Hector.
Okay, again, not anonymous, but good start.
Good start.
Here's one, uh, "Hey, King Julien, this is Pancho.
" Does no one understand the anonymous thing? "Establish a drama academy" Here we go.
"that will encourage young show boys to never give up on their mother's dream of stardom.
" Oh, that one's good.
Who wrote that? Got my vote right there.
Maybe there's some better ones toward the bottom.
Stop being such a baby.
How would you like talons tearing up your back every time we spooned? 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, Your Majesty.
All set to go kingdom hunting? I've got some great ideas! Oh, ah, uh, thanks, Clover, but I already hired a real estate agent.
Wait, what? But I Where did you fi uh Hello, Miss Clover.
Hope you, uh, don't mind me lending lendin' a hand? Captain? You're the real estate agent? Just got my certification.
Figured I've plundered enough kingdoms to know what's good.
He says with all the recent carnage and destruction, it's a buyers' market.
So are, uh, you two looking for something together, or is this more of a bachelor kingdom I am just helping out a friend, got it? Okay.
Look around you, Maurice.
This is the kingdom I've always dreamed of.
We just needed to be conquered and enslaved to find it.
Oh, King Julien! Check out our artists collective.
No one is allowed to judge the art.
All they can do is look at it and not have an opinion.
Nice one, Ted.
Livin' the dream.
Looky here, King Julien, no conflict in this dance class.
Everyone gets a trophy, not just my Todd.
You're all winners, right, children? I said you're all winners! Say it! We're all winners.
You are an inspiration, Tammy.
Keep up the good work.
Well, hello, Mr.
King Julien, care to scrub in? We're performing surgeries that society once judged too kill-y.
No judgment anymore, thanks to you.
Appreciate the offer, Doctor S, but I just ate.
No problem.
We're gonna be here for a while.
Nurse Phantom, start the saw! Ah! Smell that, Maurice? No conflict even makes the air better.
Actually, I think it's the new toilet cakes in the outhouses.
What was that? Take that back! Who dares bring conflict into my kingdom? They will pay! Pay! Pancho? Horst? What's going on? Ask Horst.
Yeah, he wanted a sip from my beverage and I said no.
He called me a felon.
But you are a felon.
Oh, really? Everyone knows that.
Everyone? I now pronounce you lemur and lemuss.
You may place the rings on your fingers.
- Felon! - Aw, sheesh! - Felon! - Aw, sheesh! Hey, felon, what you doing with my delicates? Aw, sheesh! Okay, so maybe everybody does know, but that word still hurts! I thought the kingdom was supposed to be a safe place now? Pancho is right.
Sometimes words can be just as hurtful as a spear, or fire, or a parasite that liquefies your insides.
Maurice, poll the kingdom.
Let's see if anymore hurtful words have gotten through.
- All these words are hurtful? - According to the kingdom, yes.
Cantaloupe? How is cantaloupe hurtful? Hector had a bad experience.
Why are you here? What do you want from me? King Julien, I'm all for a conflict-free kingdom, but how are we supposed to monitor people from saying all these words? Lemurs of Madagascar, concern over certain hurtful words has come to my attention.
But never fear, your sensitive and understanding King has found a solution.
I give to you, the victim horn! What are we gonna do with that? I need a volunteer to read from a prepared script.
Me! Me! Oh, please let it be me! You don't know how much I need this! Oh.
Not much of a part.
How long do I have to prepare? Just read the script, Ted! "Hey, Maurice, did you swallow a melon or is your tummy really that" Ow! Hoo-hoo! Did you see that? Whenever someone utters a hurtful word you just blast the word away with your victim horn and sha-booya! The word never existed.
Who wants to do some horning? A kingdom full of horn-blasting lemurs.
Oh, yeah, this isn't gonna be a disaster.
I hope the water is warmer than yesterday.
I nearly froze my You thought I was gonna say You did it again! You mean you weren't going to say No, you moron, I was gonna say Good night, Dorothy.
Good night, Ted.
I love So I said to Becca, "You know what" "that's called a tossed salad.
" Which meant I had to get the dressing.
And that's when I realized I didn't have any dressing.
But that didn't make sense.
Crazy, huh? Uh-huh.
And that's why we now have proof that life began because of a big I'm sorry, did I say a hurt word? Because I'm pretty sure We weren't questioning your words.
We were questioning your syntax.
Your word sentences is causing us distress! Yeah! Stop treading on us with your knowledge! Do you hear that, Maurice? That's the sound of no conflict right there.
That's what that is.
If you think that's the sound of no conflict, you crazy! Now this first kingdom is a bit of a fixer-upper.
What are you talking about? This is perfect! It's a lifeless desert, Sage.
I know.
We should move on this before someone else makes a bid.
What else you got? Whoa! A tree fort.
Hello, neighbors.
Next! This one just came on the market.
It's a subterranean lair, air cooled and heated by a lava flow in the rec room.
Uh, now let me just, uh, get the key.
Very sorry, Your Majesty.
I was assured the old tenants had moved out.
Welcome back, folks.
In our next segment, I I ask everyone to remove their hats and shout, "Look at my head!" So I said Ah, what's the use? Cut to commercial! Hey, kids, are there times your victim horn just isn't enough? Or maybe after being horned all day, you just need a stress free break.
Well, then you need a Fairfax-branded, Emotional Support Mort.
Hi! Wanna rub my belly? Go ahead, do it.
The first rub is free.
That's how confident we are that you'll feel better in no time.
I sure do.
Rub your Mort today.
That second rub's gonna cost you.
No, it's not! You are My rights are being stepped on here.
This is injustice.
I'm really angry.
You need to put a stop to this, Your Majesty.
I know I can make a better kingdom.
I just need more time.
Uh, just a skosh! - King Julien.
- Bing! Your bing, bing! Lemurs of Stop it! I didn't even say anything! I'm just moving my lips! Uh, I'd like to start by saying Maurice owes you an apology.
You were supposed to protect us.
I'm traumatized here! I'm traumatized! I know.
I forgot that after being horned, my people would need a place to chill out.
To get calm.
Therefore, I propose we create a No Conflict Zone.
A nourishing womb that you can all crawl into when things get just too horned.
Where are we gonna find a womb that big? We're all gonna die! Don't worry, I'm sure we can find a womb big enough for all of you.
I'm open to suggestions.
Aw, you have got to be kidding me! I've been kicked off my throne, again! Crystal clear salt water pool, eh? There's more dead things in that pool than salt water.
Clover's right.
There's no way I could put my Inflatable Pegasus Lounger or Floating Fiesta Island with Dual Drink Cozies in there.
Well, I'm afraid that's everything, Your Majesty.
All the other kingdoms are still occupied.
We could, of course, uh, plunder.
That was Koto's way.
The chef who steals the recipe of the thief will find his meal unfulfilling.
And he'll probably get the squirts.
I, uh, believe they call it the Madagascar shuffle.
Right, shuffle.
Hold on, what about the Mountain Lemur's ancestral kingdom, eh? Sage? Didn't you tell me it was the most beautiful place you'd ever seen? Yes.
My ancestral home exudes a beauty so profound it can only be expressed in the grunts and spasms of something yet unborn.
Sadly, it has been abandoned for decades and how could I be so stupid? We should just move back into our old ancestral home.
You truly are the worst real estate broker ever.
Such stupidity can be forgiven, but not the waste of your precious time! Sage, I'm sure the Captain did his best.
There's no need to I brought you an extra flogging stick.
- Flogging? - Much thanks, my king.
Xixi here, reporting live from the womb.
Uh, not a lot happening.
It's kinda warm.
Now how long do we stay in here? You can't put no time limit on emotional wounds.
Those scars never heal! Zora? My little breakfast bagel, you okay? Yes, Mort.
When we go back to stump to talk about family? Speaking of mistakes, where's Todd? My baby gets aggressive in tight spaces.
Hey, something just grabbed my leg! - Todd! - What's happening? - Todd! - We are doomed! I'm a two-time loser, Maurice.
No disrespect, but you've lost a few more times than that.
What am I gonna do now? Wander the jungle, trying to sell myself as a trained booty shaker who used to be a king? Nobody wants failure twerking in front of them.
All I wanted was to give my people peace and kindness but all they wanted was That's it! Maurice, I know how to fix this! All I have to do King Julien, no! No! You can't take him now! Why, Frank? Why? That is it! I am through with this kingdom! I'm starting my own sovereign nation where the only voice I hear is No! King Julien! Maurice, what did you do? You were always jealous of him! I didn't do anything! It was the kingdom! It was just too much for him.
All he wanted was to do what was best for his people.
To give us the kingdom we'd always dreamed of.
To hear our voices.
But instead, all anyone cared about was having the loudest voice to complain.
Who would want a kingdom of complainers? Well, except maybe Hector.
Not apologizing.
We shouldn't be afraid of words or ideas.
Everyone gets hurt feelings and that's a good thing.
It means we're individuals.
And that's how we make a great kingdom.
By learning from each other.
And we should do it for King Julien.
It should have been me! Oh, Maurice, we must honor the King Julien by creating kingdom he proud of, no? The freak is right.
We owe him that.
We begin today.
Come, Mort.
You know, I'm gonna hang back and You may have been stubborn and wildly inappropriate, King Julien But you're still - Are they gone? - Alive? Of course, Mo-Mo.
That was what I figured out.
What do all good kingdoms have? Huh? Huh? A martyr to unify them.
Sometimes you just gotta go big.
And you totally sold it, Mo-Mo.
I was grieving! What happens when they find out you're alive? Ha! Please, in a few weeks they'll have forgotten any of this even happened.
Julien 2.
0, baby!