All Hail King Julien (2014) s05e10 Episode Script


1 - [MORT GIGGLES] - [SHARK ROARS] - [MORT] I'm okay! - [LAUGHING] [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC] [MODULATED VOCALIZING] Party! - Who's the king? - King Julien - Who's the king? - King Julien Get down for the get down Everybody party with king who? - King Julien - King who? King Julien Tonight will be forever Let's do it King Julien style [SLO-MO TECHNO MUSIC] Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa-oh, whoa-oh All hail King Julien! [KING JULIEN] Boring.
Seen it.
Done it.
Broke it.
We've been out here for days, and there's, like, no new treasure? Ugh! We've been out here maybe ten minutes, Your Majesty.
Wonder what this thing does? [CHOMPING] - Well, that would've been not boring - [RAPID BEEPING] had the little sac of fungi exploded or something.
- [MORT SCREAMS] - Better.
Hmm? [LAUGHS] Yes! Something new and exciting, a gift from the Sky Gods! I get to open it! I call dibs! Give me, give me, give me.
[KING JULIEN SQUEALS] - [LAUGHS] - What is all this stuff? - Ohh! - Uh - Oh! [CHUCKLING] - [SHUDDERS] - Amazing! That's what it is! - [FEEDBACK WHINING] Look, Maurice, it's my face seven times! And now look, Maurice, it's my booty seven times! - [SIGHS] - [KING JULIEN GRUNTING] Look! [GRUNTING] - Oh, wait for it! - Wait for what? Here it comes! Oh! - [CUCKOO CHIMES] - [MUNCHING] Genius! Maurice, we have got to put these cameras all over the kingdom! The Sky Gods clearly want me to have eyes in the sky, so I, too, can watch my peeps.
Be like a fly on the wall.
See how they live their lives when I'm not looking.
Except I will be totally looking! [LAUGHS] You know, to make sure they're safe and feel better about myself because their lives are sad and boring.
And my life is the opposite.
Sharockisite! So you're gonna spy on them? - Exactly.
- [SIGHS] [GIGGLES] Whoo-hoo! Yeah! [CAMERA WHIRS] Oh I can't wait to see how my peeps act when I'm not around.
Sky God status, y'all.
Hey, King J! For my first monologue, I will be playing Small Ted in a scene from my one-man show, Knock 'Em Ted.
He was dressed well and petite And moved so lightly on his feet - I knew then I - Ick.
Hey, girl.
If you check the tag on my fur, you'll see that I am 100% available.
[COUGHS] Dijon mustard blended with mayonnaise.
[CHUCKLES] Discovering myself [CLEARS THROAT] I have gathered you all here today because there seems to be some confusion as to the purpose of the cameras.
You're totally misusing them! Just go about your boring little lives and act like the cameras aren't there.
- Capisce? - Nope.
Not happening.
- Okay, Hector, buddy - And what good is spying on us gonna do exactly? Will it keep us from dying? Yes! My peoples, the cameras will help to prevent crime and make our kingdom the safest in all the land.
Oh! Sounds like an invasion of privacy if you ask me.
Oh, well, speaking of felons, if anyone is caught committing a crime, they will be arrested and put behind bars.
So just don't do anything wrong and you have nothing to worry about! Government knows best! [CHUCKLES] [CAMERA WHIRS] [YAWNS] Well, I'm off to bed.
Do your thing, Clo-Clo.
Snooze you later.
[PANTING EXCITEDLY] Oh, I'm gonna do my thing, all right.
I'm gonna enforce every single law in this book.
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY] [MUTTERING TO HERSELF] [SLURPING] We finally have the technology to enforce all these rules! [LAUGHING] - This ain't fun.
- [CAMERA WHIRS] Nobody listens to Mo-Mo.
[SIGHS] Hello, hello, hello.
What's in the, uh, the briefcase there, Fairfax? On it! And with my Mango Tax Evasion Kit, you'll be able to repackage the true state of your affairs to effectively reduce your liability.
Hooray! I haven't paid a Mango Tax in years because I'm smart.
Less taxes paid means more mangoes saved.
Hoo-ah! - I don't want to wrestle! - [ALL GRUNTING] Pancho, Andy, you're under arrest for violating Rule number 172.
Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs How you gonna deal? How you gonna deal - [WHISTLE BLOWS] - Waterslide license and registration! Uh, I seem to have left it in my other pair of fur pants.
- [GRUNTING] - [HANDCUFFS CLICK] Think you can just go And break all the rules? Well, Clover's gonna come And arrest you fools She'll bust you, cuff you Take you to prison Hector, you're under arrest in violation of Rule 68.
Just put me in solitary confinement so I don't have to deal with the other ding-dongs.
Hey, Clover! As Assistant Captain of the Ringtail Guard, I'm more than happy to help you run the prison while you're out here catching the bad guys.
Ted, that'd be, uh yeah, that'd be great.
Oh, golly.
I didn't think she'd say yes! - [LAUGHS] - [HECTOR GRUMBLES] Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs How you gonna deal? Todd, you are under arrest for violating Rule 355.
- Rule 355? - A crime of fashion.
[TODD MUMBLING] Tammy, you are under arrest for violating Rule 215 Accessory to accessorizing.
Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs How you gonna deal? How you gonna deal When stuff gets real? - [WHIMPERING] - Got another one! Cameras caught him swimming 29 minutes after eating lunch.
But how are we supposed to tell time? The law is the law.
Come on in, Willie.
The more the merrier! Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs How you gonna deal? How you gonna deal When stuff gets real? You think you can just go And break all the rules Well, Clover's gonna come And arrest you fools Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs [MORT GIGGLING] Who knew my kingdom was full of so many rule breakers? Thank the Sky Gods for these cameras.
Am I right, Mo-Mo? Mo-Mo? - [WHIMPERING AND MUTTERING] - [CAMERA WHIRS] You're fine.
I-it's just your imagination, Mo-Mo.
Y-your blood sugar's probably low.
[MUNCHING] Huh? [SCREAMS] [CHUCKLES] [RHYTHMIC BANGING ON TABLE] [MUNCHING] Cameras caught you naughties Committin' a crime And now you're in jail doin' your time Warden Teddy's here To lay down the law With the biggest dance party That you ever done saw After midnight, Butterfish ate a chimichanga Now he's in the slammer Leadin' the conga Zora tried to kiss Mort Causin' a tussle Now they're in the pen Just doin' the hustle - Let's move - [WHIMPERING] [TED] Rock and roll and let's groove Sky Gods, if you can hear me, I'm not mad.
I'm just a skosh confused.
I get that you want me to see everything and catch the crooks and whatnot, but that is some serious partying going on w-without me! I have no choice but to get myself arrested and thrown into party heaven.
I-I mean prison.
Yeah! Just, uh opening Xixi's mail.
Super-confidential stuff right he [GAGS] Oh! Oh! That is something you cannot unsee.
Don't mind me! Just jay-trampin'! Fine! I guess I'll just have to rub my booty all over the kingdom! [GRUNTING] Aah! [GRUNTING] [SQUEAKING] Clover! Where are you? Arrest me already! I confess to all my crimes.
Clover? Hey, King J.
Pipe down, Hooter! I don't think you want to spend any more time in the hole, you big silly.
So how are things on the outside, Your Majesty? Not great, Ted.
Not great.
Where is Clover? I need her to arrest me so I can get into jail and party with my peeps.
Oh, Clover's in here, too.
Under self-arrest.
- Hmm? - She sure is a stickler for the law.
You can see her during visiting hours.
A-and when are visiting hours? Tomorrow's the earliest.
Those are the rules, Your Majesty.
Oh, what the heck? Now is fine.
[LAUGHS] Self-arrest, Clov? Self-arrest, Clover? Really? Your Majesty! What a lovely surprise! Oh, I had to.
I broke the law.
[DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING] Uh [GASPS] Oh, I got out on the wrong side of the bed.
Clover, you are under arrest.
[GRUNTS] Even the law enforcers have to obey the law.
So, yeah, about the law.
I broke it, like, all of the times and can't get arrested because you're in here.
It's really hamstringing my party game.
So maybe you can get old Teddy-boy to handle this, huh? Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? You not getting arrested's got nothing to do with me being in jail, Your Majesty.
Per King Julien the Terrible's Book of Laws, kings can't get arrested, ever.
What? That's so unfair! Wow.
That guy really lived up to his name.
- I mean, wow! - Time's up! Uh, but if you need a few more minutes, it's no problemo.
- No, Ted.
I think we're done.
- Your Majesty Good day, sir! - But what are you gonna - I said good day! Per King Julien the Terrible's Book of Laws All those crimes committed for nothing! Makes me sick! [GASPS] Hmm? [CAMERA WHIRS] Hmm.
[SHRIEKING] Is stalking not a crime? Because the geckos are, like, totally obsessed with me! Not that I blame them.
Whoa! [LAUGHS] Are you getting my good cheek? Ha-ha! Trick question.
They're both perfect.
Oh, you like that, huh? Drink it in.
Goes down smooth.
[SIGHS] What good is a kingdom without all my peoples? [CAMERA WHIRS] [LAUGHING EVILLY] [SIGHS] Day seven.
I ventured out today, and with the use of the Faraday cage I built, I have been able to locate a neutral zone deep in the jungle that doesn't seem to be affected by any kind of frequency.
I think it might be ancient aliens, man.
I've been leaving chocolate-covered mangoes throughout the jungle as a peace offering, and so far, it seems to be working.
[PANTING] - [SNIFFING] - [GRUNTING] [STRAINING] Hey, Willie, think fast! Wait! [SCREAMS AND GRUNTS] Give me that candy bar, boy, if you want another week's worth of protection.
[CLOVER] You don't have to listen to her.
[ALL GASPING] [GROWLS] What'd you say? [WHIMPERING] Oh, oh, oh, so sorry.
I'm sorry.
For you, Zora.
[GASPS] "To the most gorgeous Goliath" with the prettiest, purplest eyes I have ever seen.
"I mean, wowza.
" [GASPS] Oh, oh, oh.
[CAMERAS WHIRRING] [KING JULIEN SNORING] [MUMBLING] Aah! Who do you work for? What kind of benefits are they giving you? Does it include dental? A lifetime supply of mangoes, and I'll even throw in a mouse lemur that's basically indestructible.
What do you sa Huh? Mo-Mo? I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but it was the only way.
Was it, though? Because I'm pretty sure there were other ways, like just asking me to come with you, for example! Be quiet! They can hear us.
Who is they? I don't know.
I don't know.
Hmm, buddy, I say this as a friend coming from a place of love, but if you had a rocker, you would definitely not be on it.
Y-you'd be out like way off to the side in the corner somewhere.
Maybe not even on the same porch.
Cuckoo crazy town.
Follow me.
[BOTH MUTTERING] - [GRUNTING] - Ah, Maurice! [MAURICE] This is it! The neutral zone.
[KING JULIEN GRUNTS] And a trail of chocolate.
What if it's ancient aliens, Your Majesty? What if it's ancient al [SHRIEKS] Keep it together, Mo-Mo! - [LAUGHTER] - I love it! [GRUNTING RAPIDLY] Oh, I love chocolate-covered mangoes.
The fruit of love.
[MUNCHING] - Uncle? - Shh, keep it down! Just because I can't rule the kingdom doesn't mean I can't control it.
Yo-ho! [LAUGHING AND CHOKING] [RETCHING] [GROANING] [MUNCHING] Boy, would've been pretty convenient if he just choked to death right there.
Your Majesty, we need a plan.
- Oh, I've got a plan.
- You do? No, Maurice! It's been, like, two seconds! Sheesh! But I'll get one.
- [MUNCHING] - Little Miss Popular.
Someone's gentleman caller sure is calling a lot lately.
Oh, and, boy, does he have a way with words! [SIGHS] Ooh! [PANTING] Oh! Did you write letter to me, fur dumpling? Zora, you know I never write anything down.
It could be used against me in court! I mean, come on, baby.
Who sent this to Zora? [SIGHING] Yes, Your Majesty? Ted, as much as it pains me to say this, and it does pain me, I need your help.
You do? Sadly, yes.
Do you have a sense of urgency? I do not, sir.
[GROANS] - [GASPING] Oh! - [MORT] Hi, Zora.
I'm gonna take a nap now in your armpit pouch.
Mort, sorry, but I carry water in it like camel.
It all full.
Oh, that's okay.
I can hold my breath.
Oh, Mort.
I must tell you something.
Someone has been sending me love letters.
Oh! My heart beat to eternal rhythm of his word.
- I long for him.
Oh! - [GASPING] It's not you, Mort.
It's destiny.
Oh, I'm meant to be with him.
And a little zoom here And a little zoom there And a zoom-zoom here [SIGHS] No point in being a king without my peoples.
Might as well leave my kingdom and crown.
Bye, crown.
- [CAMERA WHIRS] - [LAUGHS EVILLY] Ooh! My plan is working better than I ever imagined.
Nephew's looking a little frown-y, and I've got the crown-y.
Ooh! Mm.
I got to write my purply-eyed muscular goddess.
And I got to tell her the good news.
Audible gasp! That's where the letters have been coming from? Not exactly how I pictured Zora's secret suitor, but, oh, got to do my job! Freeze, buster! - Whoa! - That's right, freeze! [SHRIEKS] Ted, what are you doing? You're not supposed to freeze! - Oh, my bad, Your Majesty.
- [LAUGHING EVILLY] - [BOTH GASPING] - [CONTINUES LAUGHING] Come on, man! Oh! Now what are we gonna do? Oh, I don't know.
Start pointing fingers.
Ted! If you had just made the arrest in the first place, we wouldn't be in this situation.
[WHIMPERS] Oh, my.
It's the letter your uncle was writing to Zora.
Zora and Uncle say-what now? I've been reading his letters to her for weeks.
He has got it B-A-D bad for her.
Ooh, Uncle may have the crown, but we have something he wants.
- [MUNCHING] - [GRUNTING] [GROWLS] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Enough with the tough-guy bit, Clover! We get it.
Prison made you hard.
I need your help enforcing the law.
You remember.
Rules? I I love rules.
There she is.
Here's the plan.
Ooh! [SNIFFING] Oh! Oh! Wowza! You smell same scent as letters.
Yes, my big girl.
I've been watching you on the monitors.
I just had to write you.
So strong, so masculine.
You tantalizing titan.
- Got ya, Uncle! - This is not what it looks like! Oh, really? So you're you're not trying to take over my kingdom and [GAGS] and make Zora your queen? - [ZORA GASPS] Queen! - [UNCLE JULIEN] Sure.
I started the whole thing wanting to take over the kingdom, and I knew by sending you the surveillance gear that would help me, you know, do just that.
But then something magical happened, Julien.
I saw this beautiful behemoth, and none of that mattered anymore.
It was a complete game changer.
- Just look at her.
- [GASPS] You see, I've wasted so many seasons chasing the crown that what I've been missing this whole time was something else true love.
- I love it! Oh! Your words move me more than Mouse Lemur Mort.
Freeze! Secured! Uh, yeah, secured.
[KING JULIEN GROWLS] I only wanted the crown so that I could grant Zora a royal pardon to free her.
And then we could run away together.
Here, take this silly thing.
I don't want it anymore.
[GRUNTS] Uncle, you have broken the law big-time.
Huge! Colossal! You should be thrown into jail.
- Yes! - But I'm not going to arrest you today.
- Yea Oh.
You're not? - You're not? Nope.
In fact, I'm going to pardon you and Zora.
I know we've had our ups and downs over the years.
Tried to off each other a time or two or seven.
But at the end of the day, we are family.
So run along, you crazy lovebirds! - Start a life together! - Aah! - Anywhere but here.
- Thank you, Mr.
King Julien! I-I don't know what to say.
I'm touched.
I am so glad that I wasn't able to kill you.
Seeing real emotions coming out of you is very unsettling, Uncle.
You, missy, are under arrest for stealing my heart.
[ALL GAGGING] - [BOTH MOANING] - Later, haters! [TED CHUCKLES] You really think you can trust your uncle after all the stuff he's pulled? Probably not, but I can't think of a better punishment than Zora's unrelenting love.
Now let's go shut down that prison and get my kingdom back.
Willie, Hector, Tammy, Pancho.
[PANCHO] Not me, I'm staying.
I've been institutionalized.
[CLOVER] Okay, then.
That's everyone.
Except Mort.
What do you mean he isn't here? A lemur can't just disappear from his cell! [EXCITING MUSIC] Uh [ALL GASP] [GRUNTING AND RETCHING] Zora! [SOBBING] [LAUGHING] Hmm.
Dodged that bullet.
Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs How you gonna deal? How you gonna deal When stuff gets real? You think you can just go And break all the rules? Well, Clover's gonna come And arrest you fools She'll bust you, cuff you Take you to prison 'Cause it's about time That justice was risen Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs How you gonna deal? How you gonna deal When stuff gets real? Crooked lemurs, crooked lemurs