All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017) s01e11 Episode Script

Out of the Foosa Pen and into the Fire

1 - [MORT CHUCKLES] - [GROWLS] - [MORT] I'm okay! - [LAUGHS] [THEME SONG PLAYING] Party [JULIEN] Whaddup? Here we go! As Julien searched for Maurice He ended up in Frankrila On trial for his life In a veggie court of law Mort got himself an army After defeating Morticus Khan Maurice became the chosen one To lead the bells to a new dawn And the bell people Are actually snails Sacre bleu! Where is the garlic butter? Chapter Elva.
[CHEERS] [LAUGHING] Let the wedding games [SLURPS] begin.
[ALL CHEERING] [STOMPING] Well, lordy be, this here is one elegant soiree.
[JULIEN] Yo, Sugarbottoms, what's it look like? [ALL CHEERING] [ROARING] It is B-A-D nasty out here.
[KARL] Ted, Karl here.
Do you have eyes on the crocodile princess? Yeah.
And I can tell she's in love.
Oh, gosh, that's nice to see.
[JULIEN] Sugarbottoms, stick to the plan, buddy.
Remember what we talked about.
First, we kidnap the princess to stall the wedding and prevent Koto from forming an unbeatable alliance with the croc kingdom.
Then we trick Koto into a secret rendezvous in a place loaded with tons of dynamite and [IMITATES EXPLOSION NOISE] In all the confusion after the explosion, we'll rally the imprisoned interns to overthrow rest of the mountain lemurs.
And everyone celebrates 'cause their KJ has got his crown again.
And then we can go back to simpler standalone stories.
[SQUEAKING] [GROANS] [STRAINING] [GROANS] We're running out of time.
We need a plan to get out of here.
Two words: Out of body experience.
Huh? Through deep meditation, I separate soul and flesh.
Then my aura slips through the bars and grabs the key.
[CHUCKLES] It's almost too simple.
You try that and I'll try literally anything else! [GRUNTS] That should do it.
I don't understand, that should've done it.
I even said That should do it.
[STAMMERS] That's how confident I was.
You know who's not stuck in another dimension now? Judy Rosenthal.
Yeah, her son's an optometrist.
I could really use Smart Mort right now.
He's gotta be somewhere in that brain.
He won't come out without coffee.
Uh, does coffee exist in this multiverse? - He says he wants coffee.
- What's coffee? - I don't have coffee.
- Coffee sounds good.
- You want some coffee? - If we go to a coffee place, we can find some coffee to buy.
- Coffee.
- Of course we have coffee.
Woohoo! We're saved! - You're okay with decaf, right? - Ow! Sorry, that one got out ahead of me.
Oh, no! Is my little scientist stumped? Yeah, a little.
How do we caffeinate Mort in a multiverse - with no caffeine? - That's the million dollar question.
You should've thought about that.
Before you threw your whole life with the science mishigas.
I made it very clear.
If I had gone to accounting school like you wanted, it would've crushed my soul.
Is that why you can't pick up a phone? You think you're the only one getting their soul crushed? - The nerve on you.
- Soul? S-Soul? Soul! Wait! Soul! Mort's been absorbing souls from Mort in the alternate universes.
You say that like it's perfectly normal and not totally freaking insane! [EXCLAIMS] Eh Yeah, Smart Mort still has to be in there somewhere.
In Mort's subconscious.
We just have to send Mort deep inside his own mind to pull Smart Mort out.
Oy vey! Yeah, that's a big oy vey from me too, Mom-Bot.
[JULIEN GRUNTING] [SQUEAKING] [BOTH PANTING] Okay, Ted, you're with me on kidnapping duty.
Karl, you're rallying the troops and rigging Koto's trap.
Uncle, you're keeping up with the charade that you're a world-class foosa What are you exactly, a salesman, a trainer, out of work clown? [SCOFFS] I don't want to jinx it, but this plan is gonna go gangbusters.
We take out Koto, then I take out my stupid nephew.
And then I'm back on top, baby! Yeah, that'll play.
You can't fire me! I'm firing myself! Fine.
I don't need a wedding coordinator You're hecka tacky anyway.
Oh! This is our opening.
Ol' Teddy swoops in to save the day as the new wedding coordinator.
And while the croc princess is distracted by all the fabric swatches, surprise, girl, you just got kidnapped.
Ted, uh, do you know anything about wedding coordinating? Nothing at all, sir.
- [CRYING] - [KNOCKING AT DOOR] Hmm? Audible gasp.
This is a DEFCON 1 diva disaster.
Now here's what you need to know about me.
I talk fast, I think fast, and I'm not here to make friends.
[CRYING] Oh, wait, what's wrong? This is literally the worst day in the history of the universe.
All these jealous heirs keep throwing mad shade.
It's like, they don't even know the real me, okay? They think 'cause I'm super pretty, I must be dumb.
Oh, heck, sweety.
Mad attack! Okay, be cool.
We're going on a little field trip to Hey! Wait! - I'm literally being abducted.
- I think you broke that.
Hold still, you little wiggle worm.
[GRUNTS] [SIGHS] When my daddy and my boo Koto find out you tried to kidnap me [THUD] [EXCLAIMS] Colonel Kimchi in the hut with the curling iron.
[CHUCKLES] You need to write a fake love letter to lure Koto here.
Make it look official.
That means crossing all the T's and dotting all the I's with cute little hearts.
Oh, I've got the perfect glitter pen.
And the explosion that takes down Koto is our signal to rise.
Rise! Rise! Like a yeasty sourdough loaf.
And take back our freedom! [SQUEAKING] [ALL] Hmm.
The plan is simple.
When you hear the explosion, the boom-boom, you make punchy kicky.
At bad guy lemurs.
[ALL] Oh! [ALL CHEERING] I can't wait to stomp one of those tyrants right in the propaganda hole.
Stop the pierogi press.
Do we even know if this plan is safe? You have nothing to worry about.
I'm the grand master at the chess of life.
As long as everything goes according to my plan, it is highly likely no one will be gravely injured except for Horst.
[SPITS] What? Why? By now, you've probably realized I'm not really a wedding planner.
Yeah, it's pretty obvi, 'cause aren't you like a salesman or something? Well, [CHUCKLES] that's the cover story at least.
- Then what the heck are you? - Me? I'm a spy.
So, Mr.
Big-shot Spy, what would happen if I got out? Oh! We have this whole plan to lure Koto to the hut and blow it up when he's there.
Of course, that means you won't be queen.
Probably end up marrying some crocodile townie who works in his grandfather's hardware store.
All that would be ruined if you got out.
That's what would happen if you got out.
So, why the heck didn't you tie my mouth shut, when I can easily do this.
Okay, okay, let's not do anything crazy.
I mean, I'm sure that you'll be that townie's everything.
[EXCLAIMS] Let's just calm down.
Sage! [GRUNTS] Not cool.
My soul was totally about to grab the key.
There is no one who can save us now, Sage, not Jarsh-Jarsh, not your soul, nobody.
We have to save ourselves! [GASPS] Sorry to interrupt, but do you two have a preference with regard to how you're executed? No brainer.
A series of devastating roundhouse kicks from a freakishly strong child.
[GROANS] You really just gonna give up! Our quest failed.
Back in my village, it was clear that my aggression was only temporary.
And based on how hard you're squeezing my arm right now, you never learned to control your anger.
I'll save us.
When the guards open the gate, be ready to strike.
[GIGGLES] Hmm? I guess I bet on the wrong brother, huh, King K? You still think I'd make a good queen? Perhaps, but unfortunately, I already have a queen.
Master, I've got a correspondence for you.
[KOTO SIGHS] "Dear King Koto, I need you in my hut right now," like so bad.
I'm lonely and love you or something.
"Yours forever, definitely the real crocodile princess.
" This feels like a trap.
[GASPS] A tra If there is an ambush plan, it'll help to have a hostage.
Would you like to join me for a walk, my sweet Clover? [GIGGLES] Oh.
I thought you'd never ask, King K.
Tanson, the door.
[GRUNTS] Okay.
Taco cart? No, that was an antique armoir.
No, I was right the first time.
Taco cart! [GRUNTS] Attack them.
Now! Do it! This is our chance! [SIGHS] No! How can I be so stupid? It's clearly not a taco cart.
It's a falafel stand, isn't it, Clover? Um? What are you doing to my brain, Mathlete's Foot? I've rigged Mom-Bot's scanners to beam images directly into your retina, creating a deep hypnosis that'll allow you to journey to your subconscious and locate Smart Mort.
So get in there, bring back Smart Mort and let's fix this portal.
[SQUEALING] [STAMMERS] I think I'm really hypnotizing him.
You know, Shirley Kaufman's son is a real hypnotist.
T-This is incredible.
I think he's gone deep into the recesses of his mind.
Wow, it's a little dark in here.
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING] [ECHOES] I want to be your friend.
[CHANTING] Come play with us, Mort.
Forever and ever [ECHOING] I'mma gonna eat you.
I shan't be condescended to, madam.
I shan't! [EXCLAIMS] That's gotta be Smart Mort.
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Intruder! Intruder! [ALL CHANTING] Intruder! Intruder! [JULIEN] This is pretty weird, huh? The two of us, burying the hatchet, working together.
Hmm? I'm only keeping you alive so I have the honor of ending you personally.
Not that swathe Johnny-come-lately Koto or your buffoonish troglodyte of an uncle.
I worked too hard for this.
[SQUEALING] Koto is entering the hut.
Now's our chance.
Koto is not alone in there.
What happened in here? I fear this was an ambush.
I wanted you to be here with me.
Ambush? By whom? He has seen through our ruse.
Blow the hut! Now! Are you bleeping crazy, Karl? Clover'd want you to blow the hut.
It's for the good of the kingdom.
Think about it.
Hmm? You just made a grave mistake.
If I blow up Clover, my friend, I'm no better than Koto or you! You will rue this decision, Julien! - Relax.
- Rue it! As long as we still have Amy as a hostage, everything is copacetic.
Ted, buddy, come on.
You had to watch one little princess.
I underestimated her just like all the jealous haters who think just 'cause she's super pretty she must be dumb.
Surely you've seen the error of your ways.
You had a chance to "delife" Koto, but you lacked the fortitude to sacrifice your friend.
If anybody is getting sacrificed for this kingdom, it's gonna be me.
So I guess I'll just have to take out Koto myself.
Lemur to mountain lemur, hombre a hombre.
Karl, Ted, I'll be needing your assistance, obviously.
- [MORT WHIMPERING] - [CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING] This way, little Morty.
I just put on a kettle of chamomile.
Granny! [ALL GROWLING] Granny, it's me, Mort.
The spider has ensnared the fly.
Hey, Morty.
Come and give Granny a big ol' kiss.
[KISSES] [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] I don't want your kisses, granny.
I'm a big boy now.
I just want Smart Mort to come with me.
Sorry, sugarbear.
I used Smart Mort as bait, and now that I've got you, I don't reckon anybody can stop me.
Stop you from what? I'm finding a way out of here and then I'll take control of your body and replace you.
And you'll be trapped in this creepy prison you call a mind.
Oh, my God! [LAUGHING] [GRUNTING] Ow! You've really stepped in it now, old boy.
[GROANS] One day, this kingdom will be half yours.
How does your fiancee feel about that? Once I'm married to Amy and my alliance with the crocodile kingdom is secure, - she'll have an accident.
- Oh? And then I'm free to be with the only one I've ever truly cared for.
Look, I know I can be bit of a pill sometimes but I can't deny how you make me feel, Clover.
[GRUNTS] - Get off! - [CLICKS TONGUE] Disappointing.
[GRUNTS] I will never marry you! Not even to save your friends? What are you talking about? My people need the resources in this kingdom, but we don't need the citizens.
I could be convinced to exile Julien and your friends to somewhere safe.
If you're willing to, uh Oh.
If it'll save my friends, then fine! [GROANS] You got any ideas? If she finds her way out, we're both trapped down here forever.
Well, friend, if we are in fact trapped inside your subconscious perhaps we have some tactical advantage down here.
- Yeah? Like what? - If this locked door is in your mind, perhaps you can simply think yourself free.
Maybe you're right.
I am kind of known for being a thinker around the village.
I assure you, that is not the case.
But if you succeed in freeing me, I in turn will help you repair your little portal machine.
Here goes.
[STRAINING] Oh, dear.
[STRAINING] [GIGGLLES] I unlocked the door! [SHOUTS] [SCREAMS] [WHIMPERING] Timo, should we take your little friend out of his trance? If we bring him back too fast, his brain could go [IMITATES EXPLOSION] He's gonna have to save himself.
Use your mind! - [GROWLING] - [GASPS] [GRUNTS] [SLURPS] Mm! Honey mustard.
Well, I'll be.
What kind of voodoo are you in league with, sonny? You forgot this is my brain, Granny.
And the only one who's gonna do weird stuff in here is me! Oh, yeah? If that's how the spirit moves ya [GRUNTING] I probably know karate in here, right? Um [GRUNTS] Ooh.
Oh, yeah.
There it is.
Come and get some, Granny.
[BOTH GRUNTING] Look out, I say.
More Morts are coming, Mort.
[GRUNTS] [CHUCKLES] Um [GRUNTS] What's wrong, Mort? Didn't I always make you yummy food? Didn't I always let you massage my bunions and scrape my elbow moulds? Scrape your own moulds, Granny.
[BOTH GRUNTING] [CHUCKLES] I'm sorry it had to end this way.
You know, you always were a pretty good grandson, before you consumed my essence.
[THUNDER RUMBLING] [GROANS] - [LAUGHS] - [GASPS] Hey, Granny! Make a wish, you old night-creature! [LAUGHS] [SCREAMS] [SPLASHES] Oh! I do appear to be trapped in the bottom of a wishing well.
[CHUCKLES] Good show, old boy.
My intellect is at your service.
Now show me the way out of here.
He's not breathing.
Live! Live! [CRYING] He's just a child.
[CRYING] [GASPS] [EXCLAIMS] Well, don't just stand there mouths agape, legs akimbo.
Let's build ourselves a smashing inter-dimensional portal, shall we? [LAUGHS] [GRUNTS] [HUMMING] King Koto! It is great to finally put a face to the name.
We have some foosa specimen for ya'll.
We'd love for ya'll to mosey on down and get a closer look at them.
When Koto comes down to check for gum disease and hip dysplasia, I'm gonna blast him.
Guess I should take the safety off, huh? [CHUCKLES] 'Cause it 'Cause I had it on.
Easy, Julien.
You only get one shot, before you have to recharge.
That foosa trafficker literally kidnapped me.
Madam, I don't rightly know what you're talking about.
Okay, fine.
I have a confession to make.
I gotta come clean.
- He also kidnapped me! - Guards! [GRUNTS] [SCREAMS] [EXCLAIMS] Oh, boy! [GROWLS] [GASPS] So hypothetically how long do we think this thing takes to recharge? Uh Judging by the fact that we're surrounded by hundreds of armed savages, I doubt it really matters.
[EXCLAIMS] Welcome home, Julien.