'Allo 'Allo! (1982) s05e06 Episode Script

( theme music playing )
DUE TO A COMPLICATED
SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES
WHICH I WILL NOT
BORE YOU WITH AT THE MOMENT,
I HAVE ONCE AGAIN
MANAGED TO LOCATE
THE ORIGINAL COPY OF
THE PORTRAIT
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES
BY VAN CLOMP,
TOGETHER WITH THE PICTURE
OF THE CRACKED VASE
WITH THE BIG DAISIES
BY VAN GOGH.
THAT IS ON
THE CREDIT SIDE.
ON THE DEBIT,
I HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT THESE TWO PAINTINGS
ARE CURRENTLY HIDDEN
IN THE BEAMS
OF AN OLD SAWMILL,
WHICH IS NOW
THE HEADQUARTERS
OF THE LOCAL
COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
ON SATURDAY NEXT,
I AM DUE TO MARRY
DENISE LAROQUE,
AN OLD CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART
OF MINE,
WHO IS NOW HEAD OF
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
THIS LADY,
I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
HAS AN UNDERSTANDABLE
PASSION FOR ME.
THIS, OF COURSE,
IS NOT VERY POPULAR WITH EDITH,
WHOM I WAS EXPECTING
TO REMARRY
TO GET MY HANDS BACK
ON THE DEEDS OF MY CAFE.
IS IT ANY WONDER, THEN,
THAT MY HANDS ARE SHAKING?
Yvette:
RENE
OW, DRAT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CUTTING MY THROAT,
MY LOVE.
RENE.
WHY HAVE YOU
BEEN AVOIDING ME?
BECAUSE, YVETTE,
YOU DROPPED ME
RIGHT IN IT
WHEN YOU TOLD MY WIFE
YOU WERE GOING
TO MARRY ME.
SHE WAS VERY CROSS,
AND WHO IS TO BLAME HER?
WOMEN DO NOT LIKE
OTHER WOMEN
MARRYING THEIR HUSBANDS.
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE
I KNEW THAT YOU WERE
BEING FORCED TO MARRY
DENISE LAROQUE.
FORTUNATELY, EDITH
WAS SO DISTRAUGHT
AT THE TIME,
I WAS ABLE TO
CONVINCE HER
THAT SHE HAD
MISUNDERSTOOD YOU.
BUT IN THE MEANWHILE,
WE MUST BE MORE DISCREET.
RENE,
NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE,
LET US HAVE
ONE EMBRACE.
OH, VERY WELL.
Edith:
RENE.
RENE, I--
WHY HAS YVETTE
GOT ON HER FACE SHAVING SOAP?
YOU STUPID WOMAN!
HAVE YOU GOT
NO FEELINGS?
SHE HAS IN HER VEINS
STRONG PEASANT BLOOD.
AS A RESULT OF THIS,
SHE GROWS A MUSTACHE
EVERY THREE MONTHS.
THIS HAS HITHERTO
BEEN KEPT A SECRET.
NOW YOU COME BLUNDERING
IN HERE, AND IN 24 HOURS
THE WHOLE VILLAGE
WILL HOLD HER UP
TO RIDICULE.
OH, RENE,
I SWEAR I WILL
SAY NOTHING.
POOR CHILD.
OH, RENE,
GIVE ME THE RAZOR,
YOU HAVE MISSED
A BIT.
COME HERE, GRUBER.
YES, COLONEL.
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
HAS GIVEN ME A FLEA IN MY EAR
ABOUT THE PAINTINGS
STOLEN FROM THE SAFE
IN YOUR ROOM.
MOST REGRETTABLE.
HE IS GOING TO ORDER ME
TO SHOOT PEOPLE
IF THEY'RE NOT RECOVERED.
OH, DEAR.
THAT WOULD MAKE YOU
VERY UNPOPULAR.
YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE
TO SIT OUTSIDE CAFE RENE,
DRINKING SCHNAPPS,
AND ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE.
IT WOULD MAKE THIS WHOLE
OCCUPATION THING
MOST UNPLEASANT FOR ME.
WHAT ARE WE TO DO?
MY INSTINCT TELLS ME
RENE HAS THE KEY
TO THE SITUATION.
BUT HE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY THE COMMUNISTS.
NO, HE'S BACK
IN THE CAFE.
OH, WHAT A RELIEF.
GRUBER,
TELL ME,
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE
YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH RENE?
WELL, JUST THE NORMAL
CONQUEROR
AND OPPRESSED PEASANT.
COME, COME.
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE
A CERTAIN RAPPORT
WITH HIM.
YOU MUST WHEEDLE OU
FROM HIM,
SOME INDICATION
OF THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE PAINTINGS.
BUT, COLONEL, I DO NOT
WHEEDLE VERY WELL.
WHAT INDUCEMENTS DO YOU
SUGGEST THAT I SHOULD OFFER?
LET ME THINK.
I KNOW.
TELL HIM IF HE DOESN'T
PLAY BALL,
HE'LL BE THE FIRST ONE
STRUNG UP IN THE TOWN SQUARE.
I'LL SLIP IT
INTO THE CONVERSATION.
SOMEHOW.
( singing off-key )
HEAR MY SONG
THE WHOLE LETTER ♪
HEAR MY SONG--
MONSIEUR LECLERC,
WHEN YOU GET TO
THAT LITTLE BIT,
YOU DO NOT FOLLOW ME.
WELL, THAT IS BECAUSE
I DO NOT KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
NOW, HAVE YOU
TUNED THE PIANO?
OF COURSE.
I HAVE TUNED IT
TO MATCH YOUR VOICE, MADAME.
GOOD, LET US TRY
A LITTLE SCALE.
( coughs )
( off-key )
DO RE MI FA
SO LA TI DO-O-O. ♪
NOW YOU PLAY.
( piano plays out of tune )
PERFECT!
MADAME EDITH, I HAVE BROUGHT
MICHELLE OF THE RESISTANCE.
SHE IS IN THE BACK ROOM.
OH.
GOOD.
SEE THAT WE ARE
NOT DISTURBED.
YOU SENT FOR ME?
YES.
NOW LISTEN
VERY CAREFULLY,
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
IF RENE MARRIES
DENISE LAROQUE
HE WILL JOIN
THE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE
AND YOU WILL LOSE
THE SERVICES
OF THE BRAVEST MAN
IN ALL OF FRANCE.
I AGREE.
HE IS OUR HERO.
WE MADE HIM.
THE CREDIT MUST NOT
GO TO THE LOONY LEFT.
I HAVE A PLAN.
DENISE LAROQUE WILL BE
STEALING HER BRIDAL GOWN
FROM THE DRESS SHOP
OF MADAME LENARE.
IT IS THE ONE IN THE WINDOW
WITH THE THICK VEIL.
WHILE SHE IS DOING THIS,
YOUR PEOPLE MUST KIDNAP HER.
I WILL TAKE HER PLACE
AT THE ALTAR.
ONCE RENE IS MARRIED TO ME,
SHE CAN NEVER WED HIM,
BECAUSE, DESPITE BEING
A RUTHLESS, MURDERING,
BOMBING, BLACKMAILER,
SHE IS A GOOD CATHOLIC.
THIS IS AN EXCELLENT PLAN.
DOES RENE KNOW?
IT IS BEST HE IS KEPT
IN COMPLETE IGNORANCE.
RELY ON US.
WE WILL SEE TO IT.
IT IS A VERY SERIOUS
SITUATION, HELGA.
WHAT IS WORSE,
TODAY I RECEIVED
A VERY HEAVY LETTER
FROM MY UNCLE HEINRICH.
HEINRICH HIMMLER?
THE HEAD
OF THE GESTAPO.
"DEAR OTTO,
I AM MOST DISPLEASED
WITH YOUR LACK OF PROGRESS.
HITLER STILL DOES NOT HAVE
THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES,
WHICH HE PROMISED TO EVA
FOR HER BIRTHDAY,
AND YOU HAVE PROVIDED
NO EVIDENCE
OF THE PLOT TO BLOW UP
THE FUHRER.
WHAT IS MORE,
YOU HAVE SO FAR
COST US TWO STAFF CARS,
ONE BLOWN UP,
AND ONE FLATTENED
BY A STEAMROLLER.
WHAT SORT OF A GESTAPO
ARE YOU RUNNING UP THERE?
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER
OR YOU COULD FIND YOURSELF
LIMPING AROUND
THE RUSSIAN FRONT,
YOUR AFFECTIONATE
UNCLE HEINY."
HE SOUNDS VERY CROSS.
I HAVE INFORMATION
THAT THERE IS TO BE
SOME RESISTANCE ACTIVITY
AT THE CHURCH
OF SAINT PAUL,
IN THE RUE DE VALLEE,
NEXT SATURDAY.
DO YOU WISH ME TO BE
PRESENT, HERR FLICK?
WE WILL BOTH BE PRESENT.
WE WILL OBSERVE,
AND IF NECESSARY,
WE WILL ACT.
VERY WELL,
HERR FLICK.
NOW,
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO KISS YOU?
NO.
GOOD NIGHT.
NOW UNDERSTAND,
I AM CLOSING THE CAFE
FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING.
NO ONE IS TO ENTER.
IT IS A BUSY NIGHT.
WE WILL BE
LOSING MUCH MONEY.
I KNOW,
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I HAVE PREPARED
A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR RENE.
I HAVE PLANNED FOR HIM
TO HAVE A ROMANTIC
CANDLELIT DINNER.
WHO WITH?
WITH ME, OF COURSE.
IT IS FOR ME TO WISH HIM
ONE LAST FOND FAREWELL
BEFORE HE MARRIES ANOTHER.
IT IS TERRIBLE.
WITH THAT LAROQUE WOMAN
HE WILL BE DEAD
WITHIN ONE WEEK.
UNLESS THE BULLETS
GET HIM FIRST.
OH, HERE HE IS.
AH, EDITH,
I SEE YOU ARE WEARING
ANOTHER NEW DRESS.
DOES THIS MEAN YOU ARE
TO TRY OUT A NEW CABARET
ON YOUR UNSUSPECTING PUBLIC?
NO, RENE,
IT IS FOR YOU.
TAKE OFF YOUR APRON
AND FOLLOW ME INTO
THE BACK ROOM.
EDITH, WILL THIS
TAKE LONG?
ABOUT TWO HOURS.
COME.
EDITH, I HAVE A BUSINESS
TO RUN, YOU KNOW.
SEE, THERE ARE CANDLES,
THERE ARE FLOWERS.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD.
DO YOU NOT RECALL?
THIS IS THE WAY
THE TABLE WAS SET FOR DINNER
THE FIRST NIGHT
OF OUR HONEYMOON.
I HAVE PLANNED
THAT WE SHOULD END
OUR DAYS TOGETHER
JUST AS WE STARTED THEM.
IT'S NOT A SUICIDE PACT,
IS IT?
RENE, YOU ARE
OVERWROUGHT.
SIT DOWN.
SEE,
I HAND YOU YOUR NAPKIN
AS I DID THAT NIGHT.
ON THE TABLE,
ARE ALL THE CARDS
OUR FRIENDS SENT US,
TO WISH US GOOD LUCK
AND HAPPINESS.
NOW, A LITTLE WINE.
THANK YOU, EDITH.
THIS IS THE SAME WINE
WE DRANK THAT NIGHT.
LUCKY WE REMEMBERED
TO PUT THE CORK BACK IN.
THIS IS THE SAME DRESS
THAT I WORE THAT FIRST NIGHT.
SEE, IT STILL
HAS THE LITTLE TEAR.
OH, YES.
YOU DID IT
ON THE BATHROOM DOOR
WHEN YOU WERE RUSHING IN
TO GET UNDRESSED.
YES, IT ALL COMES
FLOODING BACK
ON A TIDAL WAVE
OF MEMORIES.
YOU WERE 16,
THE BEST LOOKING GIRL
IN THE STREET.
COME TO THINK OF IT,
YOU WERE THE ONLY GIRL
IN THE STREET.
DEAR EDITH,
YOU ARE VERY SWEET.
I DO NOT DESERVE YOU.
PERHAPS I NEVER DID.
HERE AM I ABOUT
TO MARRY ANOTHER,
AND YOU ARE
BEING SO BRAVE.
YOU ARE REMINDING ME
OF ALL THE THINGS
I SHALL MISS ABOUT YOU.
YOU HAVE
ARRANGED EVERYTHING
AS IT WAS
ALL THOSE YEARS AGO.
THE FLOWERS,
THE CANDLES,
THE TABLE--
ALL AS IT WAS IN THAT
LITTLE PRIVATE ROOM,
IN THAT LITTLE HOTEL.
THERE IS ONE MORE THING
THAT IS STILL THE SAME.
THE BILL?
NO.
( bell rings )
YOU RANG?
OH, YES. YOUR MOTHER
GOT US A SPECIAL PRICE
BECAUSE SHE WORKED THERE.
DID HE REMEMBER
ALL THIS,
OR WAS HE DRUNK,
LIKE I SAID?
HE REMEMBERED, MAMMA.
YOU MAY SERVE
THE FIRST COURSE.
I HAVE PREPARED
THE SAME MENU.
WE DINED,
WE DRANK,
WE TALKED,
WE WENT TO BED
IN EACH OTHERS ARMS,
AND AT THE STROKE
OF MIDNIGHT--
CONSOMME?
NOT THAT NIGHT, NO.
GOOD EVENING, OFFICER.
YOU CANNOT GO INSIDE.
THE COFFEE IS SHAT
FOR THE NIT.
NO, NO, NO.
I'M NOT A CUSTOMER.
I BRING FLOWERS
FOR MADAME EDITH.
DOOZIES.
VERY PROTTY.
WOULD YOU GIVE THEM
TO MADAME EDITH
WITH MY COMPLIMENTS?
I WILL SEE THAT THEY ARE
PUT IN SOME WITTER.
EXCUSE ME,
YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
MY IMPATIENCE,
BUT I AM HOPING
THAT MADAME EDITH
WILL SHORTLY
BE MY BRIDE.
NO DOUBT YOU WILL
BE VERY PLOSED
TO SEE MONSIEUR RONNIE
OUT OF THE WEE.
'ALLO, SOLDIER.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
A GOOD TIME
WITH A NAUGHTY GIRL?
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
NOTHING.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
NO GOOD.
BUT IT IS TO BE EXPECTED.
I DO NOT HAVE
YOUR EXPERIENCE.
THERE IS AN ART
IN ATTRACTING SOLDIERS.
IT IS A MIXTURE
OF THE SUBTLE
WITH THE OBVIOUS.
( whistles )
Mimi:
YOU.
THERE'S A DEAD CHICKEN
ON YOUR HEAD.
YOU HAVE PERFECTED
THE OBVIOUS.
HOW ABOUT 1000 FRANCS
FOR A GOOD TIME?
SORRY, I AM ITALIAN HERO.
SOME WOMEN GIVE ME
A MILLION LIRA
JUST FOR ONE KISS
OF MY LIPS.
BEND DOWN.
WHAT A MISTAKE TO MAKE.
( Captain screams )
GOOD EVENING,
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR A NAUGHTY GIRL
TO GIVE YOU
A GOOD TIME?
PLEASE,
MADEMOISELLE,
I AM A WELL RESPECTED
MEMBER OF THIS COMMUNITY,
A PILLAR OF SOCIETY,
A CORNERSTONE OF
THE ESTABLISHMENT.
HOW MUCH?
YOUR COFFEE, COLONEL.
THANK YOU,
MADAME EDITH.
OH, FORGIVE ME.
YOU'RE VERY MUCH
ON THE EDGE, MADAME EDITH.
I AM ALL FINGERS
AND THUMBS.
I HAVE TO ATTEND
A WEDDING.
OH, ANYONE WE KNOW?
OH, IT IS
A VERY PRIVATE AFFAIR.
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME?
JUST ONE THING,
BEFORE YOU GO.
IT IS MOST IMPORTANT
THAT I WHEEDLE--
THAT I HAVE
A TALK TO RENE.
I AM SORRY,
HE IS BUSY.
HE IS HERE?
YES, BUT HE IS BUSY.
MADAME EDITH,
YOU ARE WANTED
IN THE BACK ROOM.
OH, THANK YOU.
EXCUSE ME, COLONEL.
GRUBER,
HE'S AVOIDING YOU.
WE MUST FIND OUT
WHERE THE PAINTINGS ARE.
GO AND FIND HIM,
SEARCH THE BUILDING.
USE FORCE IF NECESSARY.
YES, COLONEL.
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
WE HAVE CAPTURED
DENISE LAROQUE.
WE HAVE HER DOWN
A MINE SHAFT
WITH A BIG SLAB
OF STONE ON TOP.
WE ARE HOLDING HER
UNTIL AFTER THE CEREMONY.
HERE IS THE DRESS.
WE HAVE
LITTLE TIME.
COME, WE MUST HURRY.
- KEEP STILL, MONSIEUR.
- BUT
HOW ARE
THE TROUSERS?
TIGHT UNDER THE ARMS.
THEY WERE STOLEN
FROM THE 500 FRANC TAILOR.
BURGLARS CANNOT
BE CHOOSERS.
THERE--
VERY SMART.
IT REALLY
IS VERY GOOD
OF YOU TO AGREE
TO BE MY BEST MAN
AT SUCH SHORT
NOTICE.
IT IS AN HONOR,
MONSIEUR.
PERHAPS WHEN YOU
ARE SAFELY WED
TO DENISE LAROQUE,
THE FANATICAL LEADER
OF THE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE,
THEN MADAME EDITH
MIGHT AGREE
TO MAKE ME
A HAPPY MAN.
I THOUGHT
YOU WANTED
TO MARRY HER.
Gruber: RENE?
SO YOU ARE ALSO GOING
TO THE WEDDING?
THERE WOULD
BE NO WEDDING
WITHOUT HIM--
HE IS THE GROOM.
THE GROOM?
YOU?
RENE, YOU DID NOT
TELL ME.
IT WAS ALL
A BIT SUDDEN.
NOT A SHOTGUN WEDDING?
MORE IN THE NATURE
OF AN AUTOMATIC
WITH A SILENCER
ON IT.
FORGIVE ME,
I MUST SIT DOWN.
THIS HAS BEEN
A SHOCK TO ME.
A SEVERE SHOCK.
I HAD THE DISTINCT
IMPRESSION
THAT YOU WERE NOT
THE MARRYING KIND.
IT WAS AN OFFER
I COULD NOT REFUSE.
RICH, IS SHE?
WHAT BUSINESS
IS SHE IN?
THE DEMOLITION
BUSINESS.
WOULD I BE ALLOWED
TO ATTEND THE CEREMONY
TO SAY GOODBYE?
OF COURSE,
BUT
WEAR PLAIN CLOTHES.
( crinkling )
MY FINGERS
ARE TREMBLING.
MY HEART IS ALL
A FLUTTER.
THE VEIL
IS VERY THICK.
NO ONE WILL NOTICE
YOU HAVE TAKEN
THE PLACE
OF MADEMOISELLE
LAROQUE
UNTIL IT IS
TOO LATE.
RENE WILL BE
SO THRILLED
WHEN HE SEES
HE IS MARRIED TO ME.
I CANNOT WAIT
TO SEE HIS FACE.
YOU SHOULD
BE MARRYING
THAT UNDERTAKER.
HE HAS EVERYTHING
A WOMAN COULD WANT--
MONEY AND A DICKY TICKER.
- BRIDE OR GROOM?
- BRIDE.
- BRIDE OR GROOM?
- GROOM.
GROOM.
GROOM.
- BRIDE OR GROOM?
- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
BRIDE OR GROOM?
ORGANIST.
- BRIDE OR GROOM?
- GROOM.
GO ON, GRUBER,
ASK HIM.
THIS IS A MOST
INAPPROPRIATE MOMENT.
THIS COULD BE
AN APPROPRIATE MOMENT
TO SEND YOU BACK
TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT.
ASK HIM.
RENE
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHAT HAS BECOME
OF THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN
MADONNA,
WITH THE BIG THINGS
THAT I CANNOT
MENTION IN CHURCH?
AND THE CRACKED VASE
WITH THE BIG DAISIES?
THEY ARE SAFE,
COLONEL.
I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY GETTING
ENGAGED AND THINGS,
I FORGOT TO MENTION IT
TO YOU.
THANK GOD
FOR THAT.
YOU COULD KNEEL DOWN
AND DO IT PROPERLY.
THERE HE IS.
HOW HANDSOME
HE LOOKS.
- AND ROMANTIC.
- AND BRAVE.
AND NERVOUS.
I HOPE YOUR PLAN
WILL WORK.
OF COURSE IT WILL.
IF IT IS NOT
A PROPER PRIEST,
IT IS NOT
A PROPER WEDDING.
THE BRIDE.
( plays "Here Comes The Bride" )
( singing to melody
of "O, Tannenbaum" )
DO YOU KNOW THE WORDS,
HERR FLICK?
MOST CERTAINLY NOT.
BUT IN ORDER NOT
TO AROUSE SUSPICION,
WE WILL OPEN
AND SHUT OUR MOUTHS
LIKE GOLDFISH.
THERE IS NO ONE
TO GIVE HER AWAY.
WITH THE COMMUNISTS,
EVERYONE IS EQUAL--
THEY GIVE
THEMSELVES AWAY.
ARE YOU NERVOUS?
TERRIFIED.
RENE, IT IS
NOT TOO LATE
FOR YOU TO CHANGE
YOUR MIND.
THERE IS A FIRE EXI
THROUGH THE VESTRY.
WE COULD RUN.
IT HAS BEEN
DONE BEFORE,
NOBODY WOULD THINK
ANY THE WORSE
OF YOU.
THERE ARE 20 PISTOLS
TRAINED ON ME.
MY GOD,
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO THIS GIRL?
SHE'S ARRIVED.
STAND UP.
MY LEGS HAVE GONE.
DENISE,
ARE YOU WEARING
LOW HEELS,
OR STANDING
WITH YOUR KNEES BENT?
MONSIEUR,
WHAT IS THE MATTER?
I AM HALLUCINATING.
NOT IN YOUR
BURGLED TROUSERS.
I HAVE JUST SEEN
THE FACE OF EDITH.
- WHERE?
- UNDER THE VEIL.
IMPOSSIBLE.
MY GOD,
THE WOMAN I LOVE.
I WILL TAKE
YOUR PLACE, MONSIEUR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
SHE WILL NOT SEE
THROUGH THAT THICK VEIL.
THOSE GUN-TOTING
COMMUNISTS WOULD SEE.
IF THEY SUSPECT
ANY MONKEY BUSINESS,
WE ARE DEAD DUCKS.
I WILL HAVE TO GO
THROUGH WITH IT.
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
WHISPERING ABOUT,
BUT IF I CAN GIVE
ANY ASSISTANCE,
I WILL BE
MOST WILLING.
HERE COMES
THE PRIEST.
WHICH ONE ARE
THEY USING?
I DO NOT KNOW HIM.
THEY HAVE BROUGHT OUT
FOR YOU
ONE OF THE MOST
SENIOR CLERICS.
IT IS NOT
THE POPE, IS IT?
LET US HOPE
THIS WORKS.
DEARLY BELIVED.
WE ARE GITHERED TOGOTHER
IN THE PRESENCE OF GID
TO JANE THIS WOMEN
AND THIS MIN
IN HALY WEEDLOCK.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND
WHAT HE IS SAYING.
THESE ROMAN CATHOLIC
SERVICES
ARE ALWAYS CONDUCTED
IN LATIN.
( theme music playing )