Almost Royal (2014) s02e06 Episode Script

Law and Order

1 Poppy and Georgie Carlton are back.
Reporting live for "News Today", I am Nerissa Knight at a private airport in California where English aristocrats Poppy and Georgie Carlton have arrived on U.
S.
soil.
The royal siblings 59th and 60th in line to the English throne - I'm Poppy.
- Hello, Lisa Vanderpump.
are still being followed 24 hours a day by a documentary crew.
Georgie, we share a common name.
Yes.
And this time, they're joining the ranks of the Internet generation.
Hello, investigative journalist Poppy Carlton here.
Filming themselves as they embark on a cultural tour across the United States.
Are you ready? No, I'll do it.
I want to do it.
3, 2, 1 record.
As they investigate the subjects that define American life today.
Hey, Poppy, look.
I'm an American police officer.
Shall I put some handcuffs on my sister? This is one of those days when I could happily have not lived it.
So, why are you here in the United States? We're here to learn about your system of law and order.
I expect it's a lot easier to keep your people in line here, what with all of the guns.
Poppy and Georgie Carlton are in the United States of America traveling the country as online journalists.
Congratulations.
You could be doing something completely disgusting, but instead, you found "Poppy Culture," the channel bringing Poppy to culture.
And Georgie to culture.
This week, the siblings are investigating the world of law and order.
To begin their journey, Georgie and Poppy have come to the Jean Lafitte police station in Louisiana.
The Carltons have been invited on a ride-along with officer Jason Louwald and lieutenant Raymond Funk.
- Hello, Georgie.
- Nice to meet you.
Lovely to meet you, lieutenant Funk.
So from what I understand, y'all just gonna come do a ride-along with us a little bit.
Before we go on that part, we're just gonna show y'all a couple of things.
From what we understand, you're gonna be our suspect and let us show you.
- Oh, goodness.
- Oh, what fun.
Georgie, do me a favor.
Put your hands on the back of the car for me.
Okay, I don't mind doing you a favor.
Don't mind doing me a favor? Good.
Go ahead and put your hands behind the back for me.
Oh, goodness.
Oh.
- Oh, dear.
- All right.
- Lean against the car for me.
- Right.
- Spread your feet.
- Oh, okay.
- Spread them some more.
- Feels like boarding school.
- This feel like boarding school? - Yes.
- Should I - Ready for a go? Yeah, put some handcuffs on my sister? What's Poppy been arrested for? Drugs or something? - Sure.
- Sure.
So Probably want her to put her purse down.
No.
Only 'cause it goes with my coat.
Don't give her a choice.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
Do it around No, Georgie! No! I'm not Georgie! I'm Georgie, no! I'm wearing No, Georgie! What do you do in this scenario? I usually don't say please.
What would you say? I'd just tell her to put her hands on the car.
Poppy, put your hands on the car.
Thank you.
Now put them behind your back.
- That's right, isn't it? - Bring them behind her back.
Don't ruin my manicure.
- Just don't chip her nails.
- Thank you.
Georgie, my hair.
Do you have any weapons? Sorry.
Can you sort my bangs out? 'Cause this won't help.
Do you have any weapons on you, Poppy? I've got at least one.
Is this normal for a policeman? - No.
- No.
No.
So y'all ready for y'all ride-along, Georgie and Poppy? - Yes.
- This is huge fun.
Can we try the sirens, please? Yes.
You'd like to hear the sirens? - Yes, please.
- All righty.
Everything all at once.
Music makes me want to dance, lieutenant Funk.
Oh, yeah? You can make a beat to this? Yeah.
Ooh.
Oh, that's good.
Lovely.
Thank you.
No problem.
Is this a crime here? Someone's knocked over a mailbox.
If the homeowner called and said someone did it criminally with mischief, then it would be a crime.
Should we dust it for prints? No.
You could do an outline round it.
- Yeah.
- It's not a body.
Oh, yeah.
Well, thank you so much for having us and showing us all about crime.
It was nothing.
It was our pleasure, and glad y'all was able to ride along and learn a little bit.
Are you going to go and catch some more criminals now? I don't know about catching criminals, but definitely gonna go eat now, I'm hungry.
- Oh, lovely.
- Ooh, lovely.
Catch some food criminals and put them in tummy prison.
- Yes, sir.
- That's it.
- Y'all have a good day.
- Y'all have a good one.
- You, too.
Thank you.
- You, too.
To help them understand law and order in the United States, Poppy and Georgie have come to meet Internet sensation Jimmy Tatro - Hello, I'm Georgie.
- Nice to meet you guys.
Lovely to meet you.
whose YouTube channel has over 2 million subscribers.
This is nice one sofa.
Jimmy, if you want to kind of say hi to the camera, as well.
I am here with America's best crime boy, Jimmy Tatro, talking about law and order in the United States.
And Georgie.
It's actually "Tay-tro.
" I'm so sorry.
Georgie begins by questioning Mr.
Tatro's credentials.
So you do something called "Crime Guy.
" I do, yeah.
Yeah.
What do you know about crime? 'Cause we've been learning about law and order.
In what states? 'Cause it's different, you know? Oh, really? Why? For example, in California, you know, you can walk into a store Lovely.
and buy some weed.
- Oh.
- Oh.
In California, you actually have to have, you know, a medical marijuana card.
It's not that hard.
You guys could probably get one if you wanted to.
What would we have to say? Have you had an injury in the past five years? I've got a weak toe.
So you say, "My weak toe keeps me up at night.
" Yeah.
I was playing a game of rugby.
You know rugby? Mm-hmm.
And the ball flew over at the kickoff and hit me right on the end of it.
Mm-hmm.
Well, there you go.
Now you guys can both smoke marijuana legally.
A bit working class though, isn't it? Medical marijuana is indeed freely available in the state of California to those in possession of a license.
So Poppy and Georgie have come to the Harborside dispensary to find out more about this brave new world of legal highs.
I'm Georgie Carlton.
Lovely to meet you.
Lovely to meet you.
Steve Deangelo.
- This is my sister, Poppy.
- How do you do? I'm Poppy.
- Welcome to Harborside.
- Thank you, Steve Deangelo.
So what is this place? What is this place? You are in the world's largest medical cannabis dispensary, and what we do here is serve patients who have a wide range of medical conditions, everywhere from anxiety and insomnia all the way up to Alzheimer's and cancer.
I've got a very weak toe, though, Steve.
Does cannabis help with weak toe? Does it cause you pain? No.
Okay.
Do you have difficulty walking on it? No.
Oh, okay.
- It's just a weak toe.
- Asymptomatic conditions are difficult to write recommendations for.
And it's all got fun names.
Yes, the names can be quite delightful.
We have different names for this sort of thing.
We don't say, really, cannabis or marijuana.
In England, we've got things like smokey Joe's good time whirl and then pufflepuff, spliffindor, splifferin, and ravenspliff.
Harry Potter.
Just that one.
You don't need to change that one.
I would have to definitely get some English lessons if I came into the U.
K.
, right? Okay.
Take a step in here.
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, Steve.
- You're welcome.
- Hello.
Is this like a private viewing area? Well, this is our intake area, so when the farmers bring us medicine, it comes in these large bags like this, and then they will present it to us.
So the first thing we do is we look at the cannabis really carefully.
- You can see - Oh, my goodness.
You can see the trichomes on there, can't you? Now, what you don't see in there, luckily, is any hairs, any insects, any insect eggs, animal hairs, skins An empty can of soda? I've found some pretty strange things in cannabis.
What have you found? I found a dead bird pressed into a bale of cannabis once.
- Oh, no.
- Can you smoke that? No.
I wouldn't recommend that, in fact.
Because of the beak.
Yeah, it definitely would not pass quality control procedures.
Now, you want to try? I've never smoked before.
No, this is not a smoking device, so you'll want to hold this up to your eye.
You look like a sexy pirate.
I have to say, I was very suspicious of cannabis, but as a small English businesswoman, you can't turn your nose up at a $15 billion industry.
That's a lot in pounds and handbags.
Poppy and Georgie are in the United States of America investigating the subject of law and order.
Should we dust it for prints? Shedding light on this complex subject is YouTube megastar Jimmy Tatro.
Is it unfair to use animals to fight crime? I'm gonna say it would definitely be a lot more difficult to run away from a dog, but I have had an experience with some dogs.
Oh.
What sort of thing? I love dogs.
Well, it was just kind of, you know, when our house got raided by the police.
Can I just be honest? I thought we were speaking to an expert on crime, as in Breaking crime.
Tackling crime, rather than being a criminal.
Poppy and Georgie have come to meet Bill Heiser, owner of Southern Coast K-9, a facility that specializes in training dogs in detecting narcotics.
These are some of the departments that we sell to.
Now, all these are law enforcement, 'cause we deal with law enforcement and military dogs.
That's my first dog.
- Oh, what's its name? - Aaron.
- Aww.
- Yeah.
And then my second through my career was Nicky.
- Oh, look at all those drugs.
- What is that? Marijuana.
Oh, my gosh.
Is that also Nicky? - That's Nicky, yes, it is.
- What's that? Cocaine.
That's a huge party in one suitcase.
That's correct.
That's 30 pounds.
Wow.
That is very cheap.
So each one of these dogs is trained in different a We have some that are explosive dogs.
Now they're all excited now.
That one looks German.
He is German.
Georgie can always tell a German.
You tell him sit down, up.
Sit.
Does he understand British accents? - No.
- Right.
You're gonna tell him to sit now.
- Whoa! - No.
No.
Oh, dear.
Typical German can smell a Brit.
He's doesn't go with my look.
Rudy.
You, Rudy, no looking at her.
- You keep moving.
- Oh.
Ah, ah, no.
So far, it's gone really wrong.
Okay, so, now what we're gonna do is we're gonna do a little bit of law enforcement training here.
- We're gonna put you in a suit.
- Right.
Well, will the suits be flattering? - They will.
- Okay.
Dogs normally really like me, so I don't think this one's gonna attack.
You might be right.
We're gonna give you a head start.
Okay.
A long head start.
Um, hello, Mr.
lovely dog.
Okay, now you can run.
Run, run, run, run.
Aah! Oh, God! Oh! Good work.
Good.
It's going for my puffy hands! This is one of those days when I could happily have not lived it.
- You want to go one more? - No.
Hey, Poppy, look.
I'm an American police officer.
That's very good.
I thought you actually were one.
Excuse me while I put my whoop-whoops on and go and chase that man down.
What a dirty piece of dirt on the bottom of my boot.
Continuing their investigation into law and order, Poppy and Georgie have an appointment to meet José, a club doorman at a well-known Miami hotspot.
- Nice to meet you, José.
- Come on in, guys.
Oh, thank you very much.
Straight in.
No problems there.
All right, so basically, what we'll be doing tonight is managing the line.
We're gonna be managing the people that come in, guest list, V.
I.
P.
list.
And you're a bouncer, are you? A host.
So you're like a sort of a policeman just for this bit.
Yes, just for this little box.
- This is my box.
- Yeah, okay.
Well, that's good.
You've got your very own box.
That's nice, yeah.
One line.
Make sure you have your I.
D.
s.
Please make yourself at home.
Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for coming.
There's an open bar.
Please help yourself.
It's free drinks, isn't it? Yeah, it is free drinks.
Free drinks.
- No, not free drinks.
- No free drinks? - No free drinks.
- That's not very generous.
- One free drink? - Negative.
No, no.
No? Please stop saying that, 'cause then they assume they can get a free drink, and it's not what you know.
Hello.
You have to pay for everything.
Come in.
Pretty much.
That's how it works.
Have a nice evening.
- Come straight through.
- Hello, welcome.
What do you mean? Go, go.
Don't touch me.
- I'm 21, [BLEEP.]
.
- Outside.
What the [BLEEP.]
do you mean? - What's happened there? - What happened with her? She has a fake I.
D.
Oh, my gosh.
I think you're going to jail.
I'm so sorry.
- No, I'm not.
- I'm so sorry.
I used to be underage, too.
- I'm going in.
- Oh.
No.
José, she's getting in your box.
- José, she's scaring me.
- Jamie, bro, please.
She's still in your box.
Oh, she's gone.
I knew someone would try and get in your box by the end of the evening.
- Let's see your I.
D.
s, guys.
- How exciting.
All right, guys.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much for having us, José.
I think we've learned a lot.
Thank you.
What would you do if I refused to leave? I would ask you to leave politely again.
Then I say, "I'm not leaving, José, I refuse to leave.
" - And then kind of like, just - Oh, dear.
- Wow.
- Very good.
Royal siblings Poppy and Georgie Carlton are examining the subject of law and order in the United States.
I think you're going to jail.
I'm so sorry.
- No, I'm not.
- I'm so sorry.
Would you be good cop or bad cop? We would be a good cop, bad cop, I think.
You could be bad cop by shouting.
And then I could be good cop by saying, "Oh, please, don't worry about my sister.
Would you like a sandwich?" Have you ever entered anywhere illegally? And follow-up question have you ever been entered illegally? Um Yes, and then no.
Which way around? So, yes, you have been entered illegally.
- No.
- And you've While you were in prison, maybe.
Sorry, I should have said I want you to answer the second one first and the first one second.
Okay.
So have you entered anywhere illegally? Have you ever been entered illegally? No and yes.
Shall we just say yes for both? No.
Sorry, can we get to the bottom of this? Who or what entered you illegally? No, no, no.
See, remember, I said I entered a place illegally, but I didn't get Oh, sorry.
I'm getting mixed up again.
We should have separated these questions.
Believe it or not, some people actually want to get into America.
Bananas, isn't it? We're here today to meet the border angels whose job it is to show those who do come in some good, old English hospitality rather than just having American guns pointed at them.
Poppy and Georgie have come to meet Enrique and Craig of the border angels, an organization that leaves water in the desert for migrants who illegally cross from Mexico into the United States.
So what we're best known for is putting water in the desert.
So when people cross borders, like they do all over the world, we don't want them to die.
The person that says Like, we've all said, "I'm dying of thirst.
" Well, when we say that, it's just an expression.
In their case, these people really are dying of thirst.
Sometimes I am really thirsty.
We'd be happy to take you out there and show you what we do.
- We'd love to see what you do.
- Lovely.
Sure.
Okay.
So here's the wall right here.
There's a big gap in the fence up there.
It was too difficult to continue building the wall so they stopped and they just started building it up again a little further down.
That's lazy, isn't it? Let me give you some water.
Oh, thank you.
Sure.
It gets a bit warm, I suppose.
This is water so that we can leave it out there for the migrants.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, I thought you meant a nice drink for us.
We leave the water, and as the migrants are crossing, they see the water, so this water here could be the difference between life and death.
Oh.
Is this how Celine Dion got in? I don't know how she got in.
This is Mexico right here.
Oh, can we put our hands through? - Your hand's in Mexico now.
- Will I get a tan? You will get a tan, and your hands will speak Spanish.
I thought it was meant to be a lot colder over the border.
Sometimes it is.
Like, that's why they have goose down and maple syrup.
Why would you choose to live at the border? Is it because you like the vibe of Mexico, but you like some of the snacks you can get in America? No, I think, well, in this case, it's because this was all one country before.
The United States invaded Mexico and took half the territory.
Georgie, will you hold my purse? I just want to see if I can climb through.
Should Poppy try and climb through? Well, if she does climb through, the border patrol person will be down here in a couple of seconds and arrest you.
I bet my friend Tabitha couldn't fit through here because she's a bit big, so I wanted to tell her I could squeeze through.
How about we both agree that Poppy could fit through so she doesn't need to try? - Absolutely.
- Craig? I agree, and I don't think you need to try.
Thank you.
In what ways do people try and get over the border? They falsify documents, they go over the wall, under the wall.
Has anyone ever dressed their baby up as a little eagle and thrown it over sort of like it was flying away? No.
But people, they use all sorts of methods.
So where should we leave the water? Maybe you find a spot right over there.
Sometimes, if you search the woods near where we live, you can find old '70s pornography.
Do you ever leave anything like that? Just water and food and blankets so people don't die.
A bit like an Easter egg hunt but a bit more serious.
There's someone over there in Mexico, I can see.
He lives right over there.
Can we talk to him through the wall? - Is that allowed? - Absolutely.
- Hola.
- Hello.
- This is Poppy and Georgie.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Georgie.
Georgie.
Lovely to meet you.
What's your name? - Raoul.
- Lovely to meet you, Raoul.
- Hello, I'm Poppy.
- How long have you lived here? This house has been built by my parents about 35 years ago.
Oh, goodness.
But I love it.
I mean, the fence is here.
It's a bit of an eyesore, isn't it? I try to focus it out of my mind.
They try to build a McDonald's in our village, and everyone protested because it was too much of an eyesore.
This is a bit like a McDonald's in a nice village.
- Oh.
- Well, we call it a wall.
And this wall has led to the death of more than 11,000 people.
- Where you from? - England.
- England.
- England.
What's her name, from England? - Poppy.
- No, the, uh Oh.
The young one that's really pretty.
Kate Middleton.
She's not that pretty in the person.
Oh, I love her.
She's so pretty.
No, she's not as pretty as Poppy.
- No, I know.
- She copied my hair, brown.
- You're pretty, too.
- Thank you.
Matter of fact, you're prettier than she is.
Thank you.
- Well done, Raoul.
- Thank you.
A bit off, just building half of a wall, isn't it? Hmm.
If I wanted to keep people out, I'd just build a whole wall.

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