American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e02 Episode Script

Half-Baked

1
Release yourself,
young dragon.
Concentrate.
Concentrate. Right. Right.
Think. Think. Think.
Think! Ah!
Do not think. Feel.
Sense the vibrations
around you.
Sorry. That
vibration was actually
a chili cheese dog
working its way
through the pipes.
[Belches] Just
pretend I'm not here.
Let your instincts
guide you.
My instincts. Right.
Not thinking. Feeling.
Sense the balance
of the magical world--
Good and evil both.
I i can feel it.
Yeah. Yeah, it's
kind of cool actually.
I'm chillin' with
the vibes and all the--
Huh? Uh!
Rose.
The huntsman is planning
something big,
something terrible.
You have to stop him.
You can't save me, Jake.
It's too dangerous.
You're worth it.
Hmm?
Jake, it is 6 A.M.
time for dragon training.
I got to go rinse
my mouth out
in the toilet.
Are you all right,
young one?
Huh? Yeah.
I was just having
the freakiest dream.
Rose.
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast,
he's the chosen one ♪
People,
we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪
With his dragon power ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills are
gettin' faster ♪
With grandpa,
the master ♪
His destiny
will walk up sheets ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
American dragon ♪
I'm the magical protector
from the N.Y.C. ♪
You heard!
American dragon ♪
So let me get
this straight.
After you smooched me
like a sucker fish,
you realized
that was in your hand?
The huntsgirl's mask.
The mask of the huntsgirl.
Guys, I think it was more
than a dream. I think
I think Rose is trying
to contact me
uh, Jake, you sure
there's not some explanation
that's a little less,
I don't know, cra-zazy?
Well, there are spells
you can use to enter
people's dreams.
I use 'em all the time
to avoid paying
long-distance charges.
Blueski.
Maybe I can use
the same kind of spell
to enter her dreams
and find out--
No, Jake.
It may be a trap.
Mm-hmm.
No doubt.
I'm telling y'all
Rose is bad news.
It is best to proceed
with caution.
You really miss her,
don't you, kid?
It's been 3 months, fu.
I thought I'd be over her
by now, but I'm not.
I just
I need to know she's ok.
Dah.
Ok. The old man's
gonna hate me for this,
but if you're serious
about finding her,
I think I know a spell
that'll do it.
Fu, that's awesome.
You're my dog.
And I mean that
in a hip-hop way,
easy, kid. I'm still
recovering from our
early smooch session
with the nasty
morning breath.
So what are
we talking here?
A portal spell.
It's pretty tricky.
It'll open a dimensional door
to wherever Rose is.
One problem. I'm missing
a key ingredient--krylock venom.
Krylock. A beast
of pure evil
that feeds off
of magical creatures.
It has the head of a cobra
and the body of a scorpion.
Aw, he's not evil.
He's just misunderstood--
Aah! Aah! He's evil!
Ok, so let's go find
this kry thing already.
That's the hitch, kid.
Our guy's interdimensional.
The only way
it can enter our world is
through a dimensional door
which can pop up
anywhere, anytime, anyplace.
It's impossible
to track.
We wait for it
to make an appearance
in our neck of the woods.
When it does,
that's when we strike.
Uh, jakey, if fu
told us to wait,
how come we
staying up all night
trying to find
this kry beast thingy?
The sooner we find it,
the sooner I find Rose.
[Sighs] Ok.
But I'm warning you.
Around 2 A.M.
Trixie's breath
started to smell like
a truck stop in skagsville.
In a good way.
Jakey, me and spud,
we understand
how much you dig
Rose and all,
but she disappeared
months ago.
Maybe it's time for you
to start moving on
with your life.
Move on?
How can you say that
uh, maybe because
we went through
everything with you.
Yeah. Like when you
were convinced
the huntsman was
holding Rose hostage
in the hunts lair.
Rose, I'm here.
I don't suppose
the evil huntsclan
that used to live here
left a forwarding address.
Trixie: And then there was
that whole depression phase.
Oh, Rose,
sweet Rose.
For you I'd blow my nose.
[Clicking]
Peace out.
Spud: And remember
that one day
when you decided
to just give up on girls?
Yo, brother, what up?
I'm sorry, Jake.
I don't think this
is going to work out.
Aw! But my hairdo rules!
Sorry, jakey,
but since she left,
life's been
passing you by.
And your grades have kind
of, well[Whistles]
Brooo!
You guys
couldn't be more wrong.
My life is great, and
my grades couldn't be better.
Spud: You're
flunking home ec?
Dude, I didn't think
miss park even
gave out grades.
Brad blew up
a pot roast last week
and all he got
was a frowny face.
The bradster makes
home ec home excellent.
Hey, that "f"
wasn't my fault.
That peanut brittle recipe
was tricky.
Don't worry, Jake.
I'm sure you'll do
better next time.
Thankfully, chip, bernice,
and Gilbert each survived
your recipe
with only minimal damage
to their braces.
Jake, can I see you
for a moment?
Oh, sure, miss park.
What's up?
Please, call me sun.
Miss park is so formal.
Jake, I haven't been
teaching here very long,
and I don't
know you that well.
But I've taken
an interest in you.
You see, I know
that you're different,
that you're destined
for great things.
What? No. Uh-uh.
No. This here's
a greatness-free zone.
I'm just your
average kid dealing
with average-kid problems.
Peer pressure, teen angst,
random zit clusters.
Understood. But we still
have a little problem
how would you feel about one
last chance at extra credit?
5 dozen cupcakes for
the school carnival tomorrow.
The more I sell,
the more extra credit I get.
No. No carnival.
Carnivals have clowns--
That steal your breath
and devour your children.
Uh, Trixie, translation.
Spud had a bad clown
experience when he was 5.
Look, daddy,
clowny mchonk-honk.
Clowny mchonk-honk.
Aah!
Me, 12 trombonists,
and the cable access
weather lady
haven't been
the same since.
The sooner I bake
these cupcakes,
the sooner I can get
back to finding--oh!
Where's Jake? The krylock
is loose in central park.
Pain!
[Hisses]
Once you get the krylock
to point "b,"
spud and Trixie
will do their thing,
and you'll extract
the venom into this.
Remember, kid,
this may be your only
chance to find Rose.
Then I'm taking it.
Dragon up.
But you got a little
something jakey wants.
Yo, this krylock's cake.
Jake, the krylock's
coming all up on your tail.
I'll have it defeated
in no ti--what?
Dudes, he's at point "b."
Guys, now!
Hey, krylock,
looks like your
ride's leaving.
Ha. Got it, guys.
Let's go
open us up a portal.
Spud: Dude, we're still
missing a key ingredient.
Cupcakes can't bake
without baking soda.
A-duh, the baking soda
is in your hand.
Uh, can you guys
keep it down a little?
We're working
on a portal spell over here.
Yeah, and we're working
on your extra credit
over here.
Give me some bat guano.
Spud, cocoa powder.
Troll dust. [Belches]
Heavy whipping cream.
Krylock venom.
Vanilla.
And presto!
One portal potion
ready for action.
And one batch of cupcakes
are ready for baking.
Just throw the potion
in the air and say Rose's name.
When the portal opens,
you dive in.
Next thing you know,
it'll be you and her
and va-va-vavoom.
I guess this is it.
How's my hair?
It looks fine.
Just be careful, ok?
Rose.
Ah!
Uh, I'm guessing
it didn't work.
A nice pratfall, kid.
Whoa! You ok, baby?
Are you ok?
Well, my woman,
she left me ♪
She don't come
round here no more ♪
Look, jakey, we're sorry
the spell didn't work,
but we're not
gonna let you waste away
a whole day in bed, yo.
Wha-what happened
to the music?
The pretty, pretty music.
My woman, she left me ♪
Dude, get a grip.
Like it or not,
life goes on.
Now, snap out of it,
get dressed,
and march your
patootie downstairs
'cause the school
carnival's starting,
and we got cupcakes
to sell.
I just don't get
what went wrong.
We had all the ingredients.
I said Rose's name.
How about we forget
about what went wrong
and we focus
on what went right?
Behold the cupcakes!
Mmm. I have
to say, Jake,
if these cupcakes
were any more delicious,
someone might think
I made them.
Hola, familia.
Ooh, me oh my.
Those cupcakes look
absolutely scrumptious.
Honestly, Haley,
I don't know
where you find the time.
Uh, sorry, papa dog.
We're saving these
for the school carnival.
Come on, y'all.
Let's rollski.
Honey, my catering assistant
just called, frantic.
Something about
rancid coconut puffs.
Are you ok to watch
Haley for a few hours?
Oh, don't you worry
about a thing, honey.
There is nothing
I would rather do
than spend a nice,
relaxing evening at home
with my little angel.
Come here.
Thanks. And enjoy
the cupcakes.
But don't just
enjoy the cupcakes.
Enjoy each other.
You never know when you're
gonna be ripped apart
by the hands of fate,
never to see
each other again.
Aah!
Oh!
Come back soon, you hear?
[Sniffing] Vanilla?
So that's what went wrong
with my portal spell.
So what's all this
about a portal spell?
Ree!
Heh heh!
See, me and the kid
did a portal spell and--
It seems that vanilla ended up
in the potion, which means--
Fu dog, are you telling me
there's krylock venom
in the school cupcakes?
Uh, pretty much.
Is that a bad thing?
[Shouting in Chinese]
Get your delicious homemade
cupcakes right here!
Aah! Everybody run
for your lives!
It's clowny mchonk-honk!
Spud, it's all right.
I'm gonna prove to you
once and for all
that clowns
are completely harmless.
Why, hello,
Mr. Mchonk-honk.
Might I interest you
and your clowny cohorts
in some delicious
homemade cupcakes?
[Toot toot]
[Music playing]
Fu: Don't eat the cupcakes.
They are spiked
with krylock venom
which should never
be consumed by humans.
What? Why?
What will happen?
See, spud,
what'd I tell you?
Clowns are harmless.
Grrr!
Uh
Totally. I've been scared
all these years for nothing.
Make me laugh, clowns.
Make me laugh.
Aah-aah-aah-aah!
Word up.
[Gasping]
Jakey, we got issues.
I know. There's krylock
venom in the cupcakes.
Hey-hey, honey pie.
You ready to pucker up
for the bradster?
I sure am.
Jackpot.
Oh, snap.
Didn't Haley eat one?
According to Dr. Gimple's
big book of child rearing,
this is probably the result
of a teensy food allergy.
Do you know if you're
allergic to chocolate?
O-k. I'm gonna
take that as a yes.
[People screaming]
Gramps and fu will
be here in a minute.
Uh, jakey, I don't
think we got a minute.
Ok, no more
clowning around.
Now you're messing
with the am-drag.
Come on, y'all. Bring it.
Jake, no!
Uh, hey. Get your
own hiding spot.
Jake, you are not
to harm the mutants.
We need to revert them
back to human form.
And how are we
supposed to do that?
Kid, here's the deal.
Yo, a little
cramped in here.
Krylock venom
gets its power from
the krylock it came from.
So if you destroy
the krylock,
but, fu, you said it yourself.
Krylocks are impossible to find.
Not with a portal
spell they're not.
All we're missing
is the venom.
Which is
in the cupcakes.
But we were supposed
to use the potion to find Rose.
I am sorry, Jake.
We have no choice.
You're right.
Let's get those cupcakes.
Now!
I got 'em!
Huh?
The last cupcake!
Yahh!
Here. Have a carrot stick.
It's better for you anyway.
Trixie: That's right, spud.
You the man.
Ok, kid,
the potion's set.
Go for it.
Show me the krylock demon.
Huh?
Uh, fu.
What's happening?
Well, your voice
is saying "krylock,"
but I'm guessing your heart
is saying something else.
Rose.
Jake?
[People screaming]
I'm sorry.
All right.
It's time to put
the "kry" in krylock.
Huh?
[Hissing]
Ah!
Kid, hurry.
The portal's closing.
I am sorry, little lady.
You are drinking
this castor oil
whether you
like it or not.
So, uh, do I have
to pay extra for that?
Wha--what happened, daddy?
I will tell you
what happened.
I just learned
a deep, dark secret
about your mother's
side of the family.
You're all allergic
to chocolate.
Trixie: Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Way to go, kid!
Well done, young dragon.
Now, about disobeying me.
I'm sorry, gramps.
This is all my fault.
I was just so obsessed
with finding Rose.
Do not worry.
What matters is
In the end, you didn't
do what you wanted.
You did what was right.
Come on, y'all.
Let's scram.
Destined
for great things.
Indeed.
Whew. Crazy day, huh?
I'm just glad everybody
seemed to buy
the whole "you've just
been pranked" story we fed them.
Kid, you really
impressed me back there.
You could've chucked
everything to be with her,
but you didn't.
I've been obsessing
over Rose for too long now.
It's just It's time
for me to let her go.
Is that what
your gut tells you?
No. Not really.
Then keep
looking for her.
Just don't let it
take over your life.
Thanks, fu.
Yeah, well, I'm a dog.
Loyalty kind of comes
with the territory.
So you think she feels
the same way about you?
I know she does
Wherever she is.
Man, I guess I really
messed up today, huh?
If you think your krylock
cupcakes were a train wreck,
check out these less than
savory magical recipes.
You in the mood
for a little
unicorn on the cob?
How about a slice
of blue fairy pie?
Or if you're
craving breakfast,
there's always
eggs ogre easy.
Did any of those recipes
cause anybody to turn into
half-evil scorpion mutants?
Come to think of it, you
really did mess up today.
Thanks for the pep talk, fu.
I feel so much better.
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