American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e12 Episode Script

Fool's Gold

Whoa! The air is electric
here at mallcade arena,
and the crowd is pumped.
But what's this?
A wacky fan is dancing
onto the ice.
Can you believe this guy?
What's going on here?
Spud, what are
you doing?
Yo, get your digits,
And, oh, the scandal.
He's totally na--ow!
Manicure down!
[Imitates siren]
You know, I might
actually feel bad
if knobby knuckles
didn't do this
every time
we play air hockey!
Come on! Game on!
What the--
The Brad's just
gotta show off his hockey
for his hotties.
Wh-what are you
talkin' about?
It was an injury timeout.
No, it's cool.
He can have the table.
Say what?!
If he can win it
from me.
My treat.
Heh heh. Wrinkly.
Aw, come on, now.
Almost got it.
Aw, for the love
of George Washington's
just use another dollar,
This is--heh--
Kind of the only one I got.
[All laughing]
Or should we call you
Jake short?
Like "Jake's a little short
on cash right now."
Could he borrow some from
the bradster money wad?"
"No. Wad love bradster.
Wad never
leave bradster."
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
You can't figure out
how to round up
some of your buddies
so I don't get punked
like that? Stupid money.
Get it all, lads.
They'll be on us.
What? Who's after you?
Sharing time,
little ones.
You give us your gold,
or we give you
our iron and brass.
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast,
he's the chosen one ♪
we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American dragon ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills are
gettin' faster ♪
With grandpa,
the master ♪
His destiny
will walk up sheets ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
American dragon ♪
Jake: I'm a dragon ♪
I'm not braggin' ♪
I'm the magical protector
from the N.Y.C., ya heard? ♪
American dragon ♪
We want the shiny gold.
Give it.
Arr! Who are you
callin' ugly,
squishy, meaty human?
Oh, not so squishy
and meaty, huh?
Dragon up.
Uhh! Aah!
That club's stuck on you.
Time for a breakup.
Ulp. Unh!
I know. Sometimes
it hurts to let go.
You guys all right?
Quite the scrapper,
aren't you, lad?
You didn't have to
do that for us.
No big. The am drag's
all about protecting
magical creatures.
And you have the gratitude
of brocamas arrowgood
and the arrowgood clan
for it.
No, no, no. I really
don't do this for money.
I could've told you that
from lookin'
at your outfit, laddie.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Just havin'
a bit of fun with you.
Keep it. If you ever want
to see a real pot of gold,
just follow the rainbow.
Yo, what's wrong
with my threads?
Hoo, yeah. Oh, that's
quality leprechaun gold.
Metal's pure.
Carving's exquisite.
And check this out.
Simoleons with a soundtrack.
[Choir sings]
What do you think, fu?
On the lobe
or on the ivories?
Leprechaun gold.
Many a man has done
many a foolish thing
in pursuit
of leprechaun gold.
You must return it
before you get
a taste for it.
Come on, g.
There's nothing wrong with
a little cash and flizzash.
I'm tired
of lookin' like a chump
just 'cause punks
like Brad Morton
get, like, a billion times
my allowance.
It's all about respect, yo.
There is
no golden shortcut
if you feel your
cash and fizzash
is inadequate,
I suggest you get
a part-time job.
I gotta go with gramps
on that one, kid.
There's nothin' like earnin'
an honest day's pay.
[Dogs baying, yipping]
Mint? Biscuit?
Eau du toilet?
Thanks for the tip.
On second thought, kid,
stick with the easy money.
Do you not have
more important business
to attend to?
All right, all right.
I got a lead on
an aztec crystal skull.
You know, one of those things
the huntsman's
plannin' to destroy
all magical creatures with.
For real? Where is it?
Well, that's the problem.
It's close.
Either it's in
or just outside
the city,
but I just
can't pin it down.
Those skulls are
the greatest threat
you cannot become distracted
by the lure of easy money.
Return the gold,
young dragon.
Ooh-eee, player, player!
That is goldier
than gold, ok?
It's like gold
got married to diamonds,
and then they had
a baby, and his name
was, uh, giamold.
Yo, spud,
keep it down, man.
Were did you find
gold like that?
I've never seen
anything like it.
Heh heh.
Stacey likey?
Can I see?
Ooh, cool.
What is it?
You like it?
It is pretty cool, huh?
Yeah. It's no crime
to shine.
Give me a little more
of this stuff, and I
could rule that school.
[Choir sings]
Brocamas: If you ever
want to see a real pot of gold,
just follow the rainbow.
"Pot o' gold
Pardon me. Excuse me.
There's one under your foot.
Dirty, cheatin'
Now, lads! Run!
what's goin' on?
Would you mind helping me
with a wee bit
of a giant problem?
I'm not happy!
Yo, there is nothing
"wee bit" about that dude?
Ohh! Unh!
Hee hee. Well, he didn't
like his purchase.
He says he wants
his gold back.
And you couldn't just
give him a refund?
Ha! What do you
think we are,
dainty, wish-grantin' pixies?
All right.
Let me try something.
Hey! Hey, there!
Easy, big guy!
How about we just
talk about our feelings
instead of showing them
with our fists?
You talk funny.
Not belly-jiggle funny,
strange funny.
We're gettin' along already.
Now, what's making you
so angry?
Dirty, cheatin'
Whoa! Whoa! Leprechauns?
I don't see
any leprechauns here.
This leprechaun store.
Now who's talkin' funny?
How can there be
a leprechaun store
if there aren't
any leprechauns?
No leprechauns?
And if there's
no leprechauns,
then you must not
be angry, right?
What, you're not angry?
Now, that is good to hear.
Off you go,
happy little giant.
Now skip away laughing.
Ha ha!
Well, well, well,
not just a fighter.
He's a clever one, too.
Welcome to
the arrowgood clan, boyo.
What the--hey!
What the heck
is this?
You followed
the rainbow.
We assumed you were
takin' the job.
Protection, lad.
Should be right clear
we need it.
But I already protect
magical creatures.
Well, from now on,
you'll be protecting
some of us
more than others.
Gramps did say I should
get a part-time job.
And did I mention
the signing bonus?
[Engine revs]
Guess who's kickin' it
gold-school, y'all?
Aw, man.
Hey, is that
the real deal?
Beauter scooter,
Yo, jakie, how did
you cop this thing?
But first, somebody
wanna park this thing?
Sure, man.
I'll do it!
Over here!
Let me try it.
I got my learner's.
You workin'
for leprechauns?!
I know gramps told me
just to give back the gold,
but I thought I'd just
You're right. I should--
To talk me out
of defying
my gramps' advice
so I avoid some
wacky and dangerous
You got gold, player.
Full speed ahead with the crazy.
Whoo whoo! All aboard
the bling-bling express!
Now, what exactly
do you do?
Brocamas: We've got
rare magical antiques
comin' and goin'
from all over the 17
known dimensions here.
Providin' you've
got the gold to make it
worth our while.
No surprisin',
there's many a rogue
who'd like
to Nick the fruits
of our hard labor.
But now they'll
have to get through
the am drag first.
Ha ha ha ha!
Our best
good-luck charm,
a fire-breathin'
4-leaf clover.
Yo! Out of the way!
Trixie takes
the pole position. Whee!
[Tires squeal]
You saw nothing.
With the shine
comin' off this gold?
Come on.
It's just one leprechaun.
Take him out,
and the stuff's ours.
[Whap whap]
Video games!
Park it someplace nice, kid.
Hey, get these cleaned
for me, will ya?
If I call you chief?
'Cause if it's not--
Jake, ai-yah,
where have you been?
Gramps. I, uh--
I was just takin' care of
Some am drag bidness.
Why have you
not followed up
on the aztec
crystal skull
fu dog has located?
I've been busy, a'ight?
Besides, last I heard,
fu hadn't really
located anything.
Hey! I'm workin' on it.
Sorry, g,
but time is money,
and I don't have
enough of either.
rock music ring tone]
If fu finds that skull,
I'll see if I
can fit you in.
Dragon up!
Since when did the kid
get a hot line?
Brocamas: Uh, sorry for
callin' you back in, lad,
but we got
a special order that's
a mite tricky to fill:
A one-of-a-kind
pixie-crafted jewelry box.
What's the problem?
Pixies askin' too much?
Oh, no.
Pixies lost it long ago,
to an old hobgoblin
treasure cave
just north of town.
A whole shillelagh-load
of booby traps
to get that box.
And that somebody
would be
Gettin' a golden
skateboard, of course.
Puh-lease. It's not
always about the money, is it?
Ok, yeah, it is.
You guys sure about this?
You didn't
have to come along.
Look here, baby.
I figure if you're gonna
let us share the lifestyle,
we ought to share the life.
And I just like using
my cave explorer's
Abseil, ground trog,
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Spelunking. Ha ha!
It makes tickles
in my mouth.
Careful. This place
is supposed to be
nasty with the booby traps.
No, I was just
thinking about
the word "spelunking."
Is it ever not funny?
It's like,
"are you coming home
for dinner, dear?"
"Sorry, I've still
got some spelunking
to do at the office."
Ha! Ha ha!
Aah! Oopsie.
Whatever it is,
let me handle it.
Um, that was kind of
[Ball rolling]
Say what?
That's it?
[Water dripping]
What's happening?
[All yelling]
Haah! Hit the floor!
[Both yelling]
That was so scary.
Ha ha ha!
Shut up, spud.
Shut up, spud.
One antique
magical jewelry box.
Trixie: That's it?!
That thing
better spit out
some magic
flying pixie dust
or enchanted
or something.
Ahh. Can't tell.
It's got a ton
of locks on it.
Brocamas, we got it.
Your cellphone
gets 4 bars
at the bottom
of a hobgoblin
treasure cave?
Your reception
is like magic.
We must find the location
of that crystal skull.
Uh, anytime you wanna
sort through 600 years
of lost aztec history
on a 5-year-old computer
drinking yesterday's cocoa,
eh, be my guest,
but until then
Hold up. I think
I got something.
Oh, and, um,
I suggest you meet him
in your human form.
Dragons make this duffer
a wee bit uneasy.
Uneasy? Who's the buyer,
the huntsman?
[All gasp]
I see I'm expected. Good.
I'll be taking
my package now, boy.
Well, looks like
a bunch of hobgoblins
were the last
to have the skull.
They hid the thing
in one of their
treasure caves
not too far north
of here.
I think I even
got a picture.
And thus we are one step
closer to our final goal
The end of all
foul magical creatures
who pollute this planet.
[Evil laughter]
Tell your
filthy leprechaun master
his gold is on the way.
Come, huntsgirl.
You can't--
No one touches the huntsman.
We'll figure out a way
to get it back, I promise.
I can't believe brocamas
would do business with
a dude like the huntsman.
I guess some people just
can't control themselves
when it comes to gold.
I think I've been
very reasonable
with my purchase
The golden undies
came free with
the golden socks.
It was
a matching set.
So, what are
we gonna do now?
I'm gonna fly you two home,
and then I'm gonna go
take care of bidness.
Ah. Good to
see you, Jake.
Tiptop work
tonight, boyo.
You sold out to the huntsman!
How could you do that?
Same reason you did--
For the gold, of course.
It's just business, lad.
Just business?
Even if it means
handing over an aztec
crystal skull to the huntsman?
Th-th-there was
an aztec skull in that box?
Yeah, and if he
gets his hands
on the rest of 'em,
he'll have
enough power
to wipe out
every magical creature
on the earth.
How's that gonna be
for business?
I--i--i didn't know.
What can we do?
Get the huntsman
on the horn.
I've got an idea.
Uh, yes, sir,
I-I'm very sorry,
but I didn't know
the box was cursed.
Uh, no, no, no. I've got
a countercurse charm,
but I'll need
to see the box and
all its contents
as soon as possible.
Uh, shall we meet
at the same spot?
Of course. Right, then.
He didn't go for it?
No, he'll be there
in an hour
looks like you'll
be earnin' your pay
on this one, lad.
[Speaking cantonese]
Did I not warn you
to return the gold
before you did
something this foolish?!
I just got all caught up
in the props I was gettin'.
Gold will buy
many things,
young dragon,
but true respect
will never be
one of them.
That can only
come from within.
But I really need your help
if I'm gonna make
this thing right.
Of course.
But even 2 dragons
are no match
for an entire squad
of huntsclan.
Where are we going
to recruit an army
in less than an hour?
Hmm. It's like
someone once told me, g,
many a dude would get all up
into the crizzazy stuff
in pursuit
of leprechaun gold.
I never used
the word "dude."
So I hipped you up a bit.
Let's bounce.
My Patience is
wearing thin, arrowgood.
Jake: Sheesh.
Don't get your cap
in a wad, huntsie.
Brocamas had business,
but I got
a special delivery for you
foolish dragon.
You are no match--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
The leprechaun will pay
for this treachery,
but not before you
pay with your lives,
I'd kind of like
to keep my life.
How about we try
a different payment plan?
That's all
the leprechaun gold I own.
It's all yours as soon
as you take these punks out.
Sounds good to me.
It's payday.
I can pay you double.
Attack the dragons
Did I mention
the signing bonus?
[Beep beep beep beep]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Put a little extra hurt
on the big dude,
and there's a pair
of golden boxer shorts
in it for you.
[Creatures growling]
Huh? Whaah!
Get him! Get him!
Don't let him escape!
Jake, now!
Master, look out!
Skull you later,
Spud: But it's
so shiny and fun.
All right.
You will pay for this,
Fu dog: You know,
some people collect stamps.
But hey, whatever floats
your boat there, gruesome.
[Knock on door]
I heard our mission
was another success,
so I brought you
a wee present.
I've got your
new assignment, and--
Sorry. The am drag's
not for sale.
Fu dog: Well,
you got my respect, kid.
Or maybe they could
call you Jake tag-along,
like "Jake wishes he could
tag along with the bradster
and his money wad."
"No. Wad not--"
hmm? Hey!
[All yelling]
Huh? Hey! My money!
No offense,
baby boy,
but did you
have to choose
it's cool.
Fu said he'd hook me up
with a part-time job.
We'll be back
in the bling in no time.
Mint? Biscuit?
Eau du
As long as I spend it
telling you more
about Jake's
hydrant attendant job.
And he's doing his fire
hydrant thing--spelunking--
Whoa. Who said you
could use this time
as an excuse to say the word
"spelunking" over and over?
Come on, as if.
Now, where was I? Oh, right.
So while Jake was handing
out mints--spelunking--
All right, hand it over,
potato boy.
Gimme that, you--
Let go!
Now see what you done?
Uh, I'll get the broom.
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