American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e18 Episode Script

1
Tonight's the school's
love cruise.
And I was wondering
if you'd go with me.
I'd love to,
but we're gonna
have to be careful.
Ha ha. Who
are you again?
Kyle Wilkins
is asking me,
Trixie Carter,
to go for the boat
on the ocean.
Ok, see,
the thing is
just thinking
about boats
makes me Oh
Oh, mama, here come
the chunks.
[Vomits]
Jake, this combat
smoke simulation
requires complete focus
and concentra--
She's my boo.
I am trying to show you
a valuable training tool,
and you are talking nonsense
about--who your boo?
Rose is my boo after all
we've been through,
and a love that's taboo,
we're going on
the love cruise,
me and my boo.
Jake, think of
your dragon form
and it will appear
in the trail of the incense.
Whoa. Check me out
in smoke-a-vision.
Now look sharp!
Counter each attack
with your mind.
Arrows
Fireball
Good luck. The legendary
giant mosquito of jung su.
My focus and
concentration are tight.
Your control
over your astral form
is most impressive,
and--grandson!
Ling fa tu!
The iceberg monster!
No! Rose!
[Sniff sniff]
Does someone smell--eew!
[Crash]
You are becoming
distracted, Jake,
and distraction
is dangerous.
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast,
he's the chosen one ♪
People,
we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪
With his dragon power ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills are
gettin' faster ♪
With grandpa,
the master ♪
It's destiny,
who wants some tea? ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
American dragon ♪
I'm a dragon,
I'm not braggin' ♪
It's my destiny ♪
I'm the magical protector
from the N.Y.C. ♪
American dragon ♪
[Footsteps]
Rose, we must talk.
You want me
to break up with Jake?
I am only concerned
for his safety.
But I could never hurt him.
Coming from someone
who's spent the last year
trying to slay him,
but I could never
break his heart
Your personal relationship
with my grandson
has made him unfocused
and distracted.
And an unfocused
and distracted dragon
They taught us that
at the huntsclan academy.
If you truly care
for my grandson,
even if that means
keeping your relationship
strictly professional.
So now Kyle think
the sight of him
makes me hurl.
Why don't you just
tell him you get seasick
really easily?
And risk covering his kicks
with another technicolor
tidal wave?
Uh-uh. I'm cool on that.
Well, I officially
don't care anymore.
I'm done--done
with the love cruise,
and I'm done with Stacey.
[Computer beeps]
Oh, yay. Stacey
just updated her blog.
Let's see what she's--
[Gasps] No!
Nobody cares what
Stacey's writing
in her dumb old--
"I am so smiley-face,
smiley-face, smiley-face,
I am for real going on
the love cruise with"
Kyle Wilkins!
Man, who's ever
in charge of this
love thing
needs a serious
beat down.
If I ever--
Que tal? It's cupid,
kind of the loving.
Dang! Now,
that is service.
Aah! Save me from
a woman scorned.
Let me go!
He's mine!
Keep her back!
Where is the love?
Hey, it's cupid.
Long time no see.
Time for another
vacation already?
A vacation? Huh.
Like he deserves one.
Ese, chica. You mustn't
blame all your romantic
boo-boos on the cupid.
The romance
is not easy to control,
even with my precious
little arrows of love.
Speaking of which,
take good care of them,
Mr. Magical
world protector.
Papi's off to Cancun
to get his groove back on.
Uh, what the heck
am I supposed to do
with these?
Any of the more powerful
magical items out there--
You know, Santa's
naughty and nice list,
the grim reaper's scythe,
it's up to
the local dragon
to protect them.
Papi we will be back
in 2 weeks, babies.
Watch my stuff
good, ok?
I got a favor to ask about
a couple of chow chow twins
who live around the corner.
Oh, chow chows.
Guys, guys,
check this website.
According
to ask miss myth,
will fall madly in love
with the next person
they see.
I'm thinking we use
a few of 'em to--
Say what?
Sorry, spud.
No can do.
Besides, I'm already
madly in love.
Ow!
You ok?
Rose!
Oh, heck yeah.
Just a Thorn.
Check it. I'm glad
I ran into you.
I remembered you said
you liked roses, so--
I don't think we should
go on the love cruise.
We could just stay in.
Rent a couple
of kung fu movies--
What I mean is
I don't think
we should go together.
So you wanna take
separate rides?
Jake, do you trust me?
Well yeah.
Totally.
Then just trust
that I really have
feelings for you,
but we need to spend
some time apart.
I'm sorry.
But--
Spud, you're
the only person I know
that drowns his sorrows
in gum.
What happened?
Rose said
she isn't going
on the cruise with me.
She just said
to trust her.
Ok, love officially stinks.
I mean, it just
never works out.
Am I right?
I never thought this
could ever work out.
Gimme an I-o-v-e!
Love is real for you
and me! Ha ha!
Check it.
Everybody's getting
their fairy tale,
love story, happy ending
except us.
[Mumbling with mouth
full of gum]
Huh?
Hold up.
I got an idea.
Hey, g, fu.
What's up?
Listen, I know I'm
supposed to be guarding
cupid's bow and arrows,
so I was thinking I better
just take 'em with me
on the cruise. Cool?
Very well.
Do not allow yourself
to be distracted
from your duty.
I won't be the least bit
tempted to misuse them
for my own personal gain.
So I'm guess you
want me to follow him
and keep him from
getting into any
trouble, right?
Yep.
So all I gotta do
is fire off a few
of these love rockets
towards Stacey and Kyle
and bingo!
Houston, we have
no love problems.
It's just a boat,
and the water's
smooth as glass.
Is it shaking?
Why is it shaking?
Who's shaking this?
[Gagging]
You guys
see Rose anywhere?
I wanna keep
an eye on her.
Dude, don't you trust her?
Pffft. Totally.
I think.
Gotta stay on the kid.
Gotta stay on the kid.
Gotta--[sniffing]
Do I smell toasted ravioli?
Thank you so much
for asking me
to come with you, Rose.
But I actually don't have
too many close friends.
Really?
That is hard to--
Wanna conjugate
some Latin verbs?
Well, um
How about
some punch?
How's your stomach
feeling, trix?
So far, so good.
Don't think about
the constant lurching
of the boat, you know?
The back and forth.
The back and forth.
The back and
[Gagging]
Huh. I don't see Rose
anywhere.
Hey, Rose-alicious.
Listen, you're
the hottest girl here
and I am by far
the hottest guy.
Together, we would
sizzle for shizzle.
There she is.
At the punch bowl
with Brad.
Oh
Oh!
Huh. Rose with Brad.
That's
Totally cool.
If you guys don't mind,
I'm just gonna go
Weep in the boys room.
You know I'm hot
and I know I'm hot.
Why fight this, baby?
If you're so hot,
let me cool you off.
Hey, how'd you know
the bradster
was thirsty?
If I didn't know better,
I'd say
the girl of my dreams
is playing me
to be here with Brad.
Everybody's getting
their fairy tale
love story
happy ending,
except us.
Not for long.
It's time
to let the love fly.
We just gotta make sure
Stacey and Kyle peep
after I hit 'em.
Bro, are you sure you know
how this thing works?
You're right. Better
try one on rottwood
just to make sure.
Huh?
Ah, lady Liberty Uh!
I i I've never
really felt this way
about anyone before.
I'm kind of
a loner, you know.
Just me and the sea.
It takes
a big man to love
an even bigger woman,
and, well, I love you,
miss Liberty!
Ok, take 2.
Whoo! Oh, I love this song.
I mean, I really, really
love this song!
Yeah, that's right,
jakey.
No, me!
Now let me try.
Aah! I love you!
Aah! Baloney!
Well, can't have
too much love.
This is gonna be
the best cruise ever.
And my tummy
is straight.
Nothing but smooth
sailing ahead.
I'm on my way, baby!
Remember, you two
have to be the first people
Kyle and Stacey see.
On it!
Ready-o.
They say women
accidentally eat,
like, a pound of
lip gloss every year,
and I totally
believe that.
Hey.
Oh!
Uhh!
Trixie, you came!
And my heart
is alight.
Like, I have no idea
who you are,
but I totally love you!
Wanna know my favorite
Latin quote?
[Speaking Latin]
A little song,
a little dance,
a little seltzer
down your pants!
I think I need some air.
Sorry, Rose.
But no way am I
losing you to Brad.
Huh? Jake.
Hey, Rose.
I'm so glad
to see you.
Patricia,
you spelled I-o-v-e.
I'm a cheerleader,
Joshua.
I spell
a lot of things.
You can't have
that whole thing.
But we were meant
for each other.
Jake, close your eyes.
Yeah, ok.
Hyah!
Uh, Rose?
I think we need
to work on your kissing.
Prepare to be slayed,
dragon!
What?
Hyah!
Whoa! Why?
Because I hate you!
Hyah!
Dragon up!
Aah! Uh!
Hey, kid.
Toasted ravioli?
Fu? What are you
doing here?
What's it look like
I'm doing?
I'm making sure
you don't do something
stupid with the--
Hold up. Where's
cupid's love kit, kid?
I must have left it
out on the deck.
Listen, fu, Rose
suddenly hates me
and wants
to slay me again.
Let me guess.
Either you told her
that dress
makes her look hippy,
or you shot her
with a love arrow.
Why's she trying
to skewer me like
a shish-kabob?
Simple, kid.
She must love you.
Cupid's arrows have a kind
of positive/negative charge.
You hit an "a" that's already
deeply in love with "b,"
then bingo, bango,
bazingo,
the loves turns to hate.
So Rose loves me?
Correction.
She loved you.
Now she hates you.
Wow! That's awesome.
So if we're gonna fix this,
you gotta hit her
with another one.
Let's go.
Whoa!
[Thunder]
Uh, fu,
where's the city?
More importantly,
where's the captain?
Aw, kid,
you hit the captain
with an arrow, too?
Uh, it's possible.
Whoa!
Whoa!
And we're heading out to sea
right into a storm.
Oy vey, this ain't good.
Do that. I'll figure out a way
to steer this thing
back towards the city.
There is no love.
There is no anything.
Despair has pierced
my soul like a--oh!
Oh, joy.
The perfect stinking metaphor.
Huh?
Aw, man!
This is huntsgirl
calling huntsclan command.
I've cornered
the American dragon
on a cruise ship.
I also know
the human identity
of the American dragon.
His name is--
[Unintelligible]
Say again, huntsgirl.
You're breaking up.
We're losing the transmission
in the storm.
I'm activating
my homing beacon.
Send backup to these
coordinates now.
I just love you so much,
like, like,
almost till it hurts.
Kyle, do you know
how freaky-town this is?
Like arrows
into the darkness,
this is how we live.
Ok, is starboard left
and port right,
or is the port right
and the starboard wrong?
Yaah!
Well, hello.
How much is that doggy
in the window?
Goo goo goo goo goo.
Hyah!
It ends now.
I hit you with
one of cupid's arrows.
You only hate me
because you love me.
The hate I feel
for you is real.
No one's gonna win, Rose.
We're evenly matched.
I'm going to win, Jake.
I've got reinforcements.
Aw, man!
Dragon up!
Unless we do something,
this ship's going down
with everybody onboard.
As long as you're
going down with it.
Hyah!
Whoa!
Come on!
Uh, Kyle, you might not
want to squeeze so hard.
Might what?
Don't be shy, Princess.
Whatever it is,
just let it out.
See? Now a part of you
will always be with me.
[Struggling]
Whew! Um, ahem, Stacey?
You're cutting off
my circulation,
and my circulation
is one of the things
that makes me me.
Oh, uh! It's, like,
such a small price
to pay for closeness!
Hey, spud, check it!
We gotta ditch
the deadweight
and stop him before
he uses them all up.
Do the old
wrong-way corrigan play
from grade school kickball.
Uh, I don't know
what that is,
but look!
A kickball!
With our pictures on it.
Ooh!
Oh!
Yeah, spud.
That ought to hold
those love freaks.
No! My spud-wuddy!
Trixie!
Do you mind if we
take the bow and arrows
off your hands?
Actually, I--
Come on! We got
just enough arrows
to hook it all up.
I just look at you,
and it's like bow wow.
Fu, why aren't you
steering the ship?
Don't you
talk to him that way.
He's a hero,
and he'll save us all.
You really think so?
You really think
I'm a hero?
Aw, man.
[Thump]
Hope you don't mind,
dragon.
Hyah! Huh!
I'm a bit
of a backseat driver.
[Gasps] Aah!
Hyah! Hyah!
I need my spuddy!
Trixie!
Huh? What?
Ok, I have no idea
how I got tied
to Kyle Wilkins,
but I am so
not complaining.
Aah! Gross.
Get away from me!
Get away from me!
I just love your wrinkles.
Say, will you give
a little belly rub?
Hyah!
Yaah!
Hyah!
Trixie: Jakey!
Gave over, dragon.
Oh, when you rub my tummy--
What the--
What am I doing?
Yaah!
Rose, this isn't you.
You don't want
to slay dragons anymore.
You're right.
I just want to slay you!
Jake, catch!
Huntsgirl,
where's the dragon?
You fools! You wanna know
where the dragon is?
He's--
He's escaped.
That way! You can
still catch him!
Rose, are you ok?
You used one
of cupid's arrows on me?
I i was supposed
to be guarding them,
but then
I saw you with Brad.
I guess I guess I thought
you didn't like me anymore.
If I'd know this
whole thing was almost
gonna get me slain, I--
An unfocused
and distracted dragon
is a slain dragon.
What?
But I don't think
this is gonna work out.
Rose, don't say that.
I should have
trusted you. I--
I think we need to
keep our relationship
Strictly professional.
But--
Rub-a-dub
with a milkshake jug ♪
Rub-a-dub ♪
What is this
milk shake jug?
I'm telling you,
you said you loved
this sandwich.
No way. I like
ciabatta bread with
all the topping on.
This is like sliced boring
on a hard roll.
Hey.
Um, I don't know
what's going on,
but I don't know why
I wasn't with you.
'Cause that's where
I wanna be.
With you.
Well, looks like
we got everybody
back to normal.
Jakey, I'm sorry
about you and Rose.
I did it myself,
trix.
Rose had real
feelings for me.
I just didn't
trust her.
[Door opens]
Happy lunes.
Baby's home.
It looks like someone
took your croissant,
tied it to a bowling ball,
and rolled 10 frames.
Something like that.
Uh-uh-uh.
I no seeing
as many arrows in here
as I came in with, mijo.
You were right
about love.
You can't control it,
you can't create it,
and even then, sometimes
it isn't enough.
Oh, no sad faces.
Papi has just the cure
for your broken heart.
Chocolates and a pint
of heartbreak
butter butter ice cream.
Try and have some fun, baby.
That's what papi's gonna do.
[Crash]
Huh?
Grandson, your duty calls.
A Griffin is loose
in the streets.
[Shrieking]
On my way, gramps.
With cupid's arrows today,
huh, gang?
But it all got fixed
in the end.
Yes, sir.
Every single last--
Captain:
I'm on my way, baby.
Fu: Ooh, boy.
You've made me
the happiest skipper
on land or sea,
miss Liberty.
Or should I call you
Mrs. Boat captain?
Well, 7 out of 8 fixed
ain't bad, right?
[Speaking gibberish]