American Gods (2017) s02e02 Episode Script

The Beguiling Man

1 Time for a story.
'Cause sometimes, people need reminding of things.
Help him remind the people who you are.
The choice is yours.
Evolve or die.
SHADOW: I guess I believe in him.
I wanna believe in you.
WEDNESDAY: Zorya Vechernyaya Do you know how beautiful you look? Your tongue is a wicked thing.
Nobody's ever complained about my tongue.
WORLD: I can't sell war without my best salesman.
Find Media [TYPING] [WHISPERING] Let them know what real sacrifice feels like.
Where am I? No, the question, Shadow, isn't "where.
There's much to be done.
The bell must ring.
Mirrors covered.
Windows opened.
We must sprinkle the holy salt, [INDISTINCT] Czernobog.
We will summon the next Zorya.
Votan! You let the dust of the old star slip right through your fingers, huh? [CHUCKLING] There are no more believers left for Zorya.
So there will be no more life for her.
But I know a new star will soon rise from the horizon.
And the hound's gate will rest - in the hands of this newborn star.
- [THUNDER CRASHING] We must pray that she's up to the task.
If not, this country will be barren of believers.
First a whimper, then a crescendo.
You will have your vengeance, my friends.
- [DOOR CLOSING] - When my hammer swings, the earth will tremble [CHUCKLING] the mountains will break, and the ocean will rise, and our enemies will be banished to the deepest darkness of the nine hells.
Votan this country is no good.
You have your war, Grimnir.
Mama-ji, you hear the battle cries.
May I count on your blades? You brought the fight to my doorstep.
I have no choice but to resume the lopping of heads, drinking of blood, and liberating of souls.
That is, if I can swap my weekend shift with Arjun.
- [KNOCKING] - Hey, what's the plan? [ENGINE REVVING] [FLY BUZZING] This is so stupid.
We're wasting time.
Oh, let 'em lament.
Shadow was taken.
We don't have time for a fucking wake in a parking lot.
Might be no coming back for that one.
Yeah, no shit.
She's dead.
Dead does not seem to be as final as you are implying.
[DOOR OPENING] Ifrit, Grimnir needs you in Mitchell, at the Corn Palace; ask for Old Iktomi.
To what end? Gungnir.
[STRAW SLURPING] Gungnir? His fucking spear.
[COUNTRY MUSIC] You're getting Fire-eyes and the fairy to fetch your fucking spear for ya? What do you plan to do about Shadow? He'll be fine.
Great battles require great preparation.
And sacrifice to you.
You don't give a shit about him.
Oh, I very much give a shit.
Just have faith in your man.
My favorite Tammy Wynette song.
Shotgun! [LAUGHING] Oh, now Spiderman's ridin' with ya? You keep givin' away my fucking seats.
What happened to our arrangement? Well, you two make such a great pair, it seems a shame to split you up.
And Laura seems to feel Shadow needs saving, so go help save Shadow.
I will not be dyin' in battle over Shadow fucking Moon.
A problem of your own making.
You are the biggest, most unlucky leprechaun - I have ever met! - Bugger off! Bugger yourself off, bitch! What a cunt.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY] Do you need money? For the bus? - I'm coming with you.
- No.
Where Wednesday wants me to go is dangerous.
Then why risk your life for him? Allah would not want you to sacrifice for Wednesday.
I believe in what I'm doing even if you do not.
[SPEAKING ARABIC] [SOFT MUSIC] You're not coming with me? Nope, I'm goin' with my coin.
Grimnir's takin' up arms.
That means there's a battle at hand.
And you're fucking crazy if you think I'm going to war without my luck.
Well, I guess you should steal us a car, then.
You do the pickin', I'll do the pluckin'.
If you get in my way, the gods are gonna be planning your funeral.
Best they already are, love.
Best they already are.
TOWN: We couldn't find any records of any family other than your mother and your late wife.
You know what that makes you, Shadow? Hm? Just another bastard.
A nobody.
A nobody who went to prison for a botched casino heist and aggravated assault.
Now I know they had guns on your wife.
So, does that make the career criminal a-a good guy? Although, not quite good enough, apparently, because you couldn't keep your wife from sucking your best friend's cock.
You want to stay in your lane.
You're one tough motherfucker, Shadow Moon.
I'll give you that.
Is that why Cargo needs you? Hmm? I don't know who the fuck Cargo is.
- Grimm.
- [GRUNTING] He goes by the name Wednesday.
[CLICKING, SHADOW SHOUTING IN PAIN] And you, my friend, you've been traveling with him for weeks.
[PANTING] I'm just a bodyguard, okay? He doesn't tell me anything.
Let me ask you a question.
When somebody when somebody tells you to rob a casino, or a bank, then you do it.
When someone tells you to join the Old Gods in a secret war against the New Gods, then you do it.
You are always just going with the flow, Shadow.
And I need to know, why? Why the fuck is that? Hmm? Curious spirit.
[LAUGHING, MEOWING] It could be, Shadow, that you have forgotten how to tell the truth.
[MACHINE WHIRRING] [BOAT HORN] Now that's a mighty woman with a torch.
She was a Roman goddess.
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free.
" France gave her to the founders, same as they gave democracy.
And pulled America's butt out of the fire in the Revolution.
We've paid 'em back.
You're not French, Shadow.
Don't forget that.
Yeah, a home, I don't know.
I had to leave to spread her message.
So, why is this my first time back? Her dream isn't for us.
Liberty can't help but judge us by the color of our skin.
The history we remind them of.
Doesn't have to be like that.
Scientists call it hormesis.
A little bit of poison to make you stronger.
Your light is strong, my beautiful son.
I don't think I'm gonna like it here.
MOTHER: One summer.
Then we're back on the world tour.
You know, you could show a little gratitude every now and then.
- Might improve your luck.
- I don't believe in luck.
- I don't.
I'm an atheist.
- Ugh.
God, is a fairy tale for grown-ups.
Well, you're in the fairy tale now, aren't ya? He is definitely moving.
Turn here.
You things are not gods, by the way.
You're made by people.
People who need answers and they're too fucking lazy to look for them themselves.
I mean, who the fuck ever needed a leprechaun? You take and you take and you take and what do you give back to people? Nothing.
You are monsters under the bed, just fucking with human lives.
Pot, kettle, black! And God didn't fuck up your life; you did a great job of that all by yourself.
Well, it was my life to fuck up! Indeed it was, and you fucked the shit out of it, didn't ya? Fucked up your husband's life as well.
Got him sent to prison.
And then, when he was payin' his penance for you, ya sucked all over his best friend's knob.
I don't know what kind of syphilitic time period spawned leprechauns, but in my world, infidelity does not warrant a death sentence.
Where I'm from, it's the greatest sin.
To betray your sworn true love - is the crime of a coward - Cow.
- [BRAKES SCREECHING] - [COW MOOING] You're welcome.
Fuck! [SOFT SLOW MUSIC] It's unfortunate that none of your compatriots were moved by your pitch, Queen Bilquis.
It was beautiful.
Everything that you are.
Your attack will only work against you.
Make it easier for Odin to convince those who were on the fence to join his cause.
The Old Gods will scatter, hiding their heads in the depths.
Only to sprout anew and find me waiting.
The way to kill Wednesday's hydra is to lasso their necks and chop them all at once.
Miss and they will come back stronger.
The ghost of Zorya Vechernyaya knows that Mr.
World doesn't miss.
I have no place on your battlefield.
Love is the most powerful weapon of war.
War tears lovers asunder.
Love and war may sit on opposite sides of a coin, but only so they may never meet.
I will not fight for you.
The Old Gods see you as a traitor.
Complicit in the death of their kin.
And you shun the gods of progress, so I wonder, if you don't choose a side, will you be trampled by both? [BIRDS CAWING] Damn it.
You gonna fold that or fuck it? I'm gonna fuck it.
World wants to know why Mr.
Wednesday has put so much trust in a petty con man.
Why Mr.
Wednesday would bring a nobody like you into his tribe.
[SLOWLY] He doesn't tell me anything.
[MACHINE BEEPING, WHIRRING] [POLICE SIRENS WAILING IN THE DISTANCE] The awakening man was on the way to himself.
Is there a book that you haven't read? A good book is a loyal and constant friend.
Jerry and I might grab a drink later.
You know, he has bad taste in music.
How do I look? Age appropriate.
[CHUCKLING] If you go outside, Bushwick has territories.
Not every place is the same place.
Love your light, my beautiful son.
[SNIFFLING] [HIP-HOP MUSIC IN THE DISTANCE] [URBAN SOUNDSCAPE] [HORN TOOTING] [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING] Yo man, give me that microphone and sit down 'Cause a brother like me is known to get down So get up on the rhyme and you'll find it's designed To give sight to the blind and enlighten the mind Hey, I'm Shadow.
Are you guys from around here? You talk funny like a white boy.
Where you from? France.
France? Yeah, Europe? Bitch, I know where France is.
You think I'm stupid, huh, white boy? You think you're better than me? Yo, I'm not white.
Man, you should've stayed your bitch ass in France.
[GRUNTING] [MEN CHUCKLING] You best stay in your lane.
I'm gonna need a lot more than this to keep me from beatin' your ass.
Huh? [MUFFLED SOUNDSCAPE] [SOFT MUSIC] [MUFFLED DIALOGUE] MOTHER: Those boys and those cops, they want the same things we do: to be valued, to matter in this world.
And to feel some love.
But they don't even know me.
They think they do.
Their whole life they've been hearing a story about who you are.
And you're the enemy in that story.
One who will take what they have.
Keep them from getting what they want.
But that's not me.
It doesn't matter.
Most things people believe about the world are lies.
But you know the truth of who you are, Shadow.
Not all of it.
He's dead.
Who was he? Dead and gone, nothing to miss.
[SOUL MUSIC] say you are my Come on.
- Come on.
- Adorable one [LAUGHING] Come on.
You had a drink with Jerry.
[LAUGHING] I don't need to be drunk to dance with my son.
I can say You are my Adorable one [MUSIC ECHOES] [LOWING] - [GRUNTING] - [FLIES BUZZING] Jesus, woman, are there any flies in the state of Wisconsin that aren't flocking to ya? Just change the fucking tire.
- Ah! Fuck! Get it off! - I'm trying! - It's on my fucking foot! - I'm trying! - Pick it up! - I'm trying! [GRUNTING] [SHOUTING] Fuck! [CAR CREAKING] You better stop lollygagging.
Otherwise, Shadow's better off savin' himself.
I'm lifting an entire car.
Yeah? Last week, you could've lifted an entire fuckin' elephant! Two fuckin' elephants if my nuts are the judge.
- Hang on.
- [LAURA GROANING] All right.
Let 'er down.
[RETCHING] - Can you not? - What? Hover over me like a vulture.
Pffft! [SCOFFING] I wasn't.
Just relax, okay? You'll get your fucking coin back.
Either I fall apart and you take it from me, or I get my life back and I will gladly cram it down your throat.
If you truly want your life back, I might have another option for ya.
[FLIES BUZZING] There's a devil in the French Quarter of New Orleans.
Haven't seen him in a donkey's age.
Yeah, there was also a woman in Kentucky.
None better with the spice of life than the old Baron.
And that's a good thing for me? Price'll be steep.
How badly you want it? I will literally do anything.
After we get Shadow.
This motherfucker asked me if I want something to eat.
And then he gets in the car with a bucket of fried fucking chicken.
Where'd the chicken go? Oh, it was so good.
Thank you for that.
Thank you.
- You ate it all? - Mm-hmm.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER] [BIRDS CAWING] Media! Oh, Media! Come out, come out, wherever you are.
All this normy noise is making me itch.
Hey! I see you.
Come on.
World wants you.
"We can't drive into the future using only our rearview mirror.
" No shit.
Come on.
Get in the car.
Twentieth century is ancient history, like the faces you wear.
Bowie and Marilyn and I Love Lucy.
They are so fucking retro.
And art? Art is irrelevant! Art is the most valuable means of insight into the direction of our collective purpose.
- You're looking for insight.
- [PHONE RINGING] FEMALE VOICE: The appetite for distraction is infinite.
You're looking for insight.
MALE VOICE: I can choke them with trivia.
Drown them in passive pleasures, and devastate their spirituality with baby talk.
Wednesday scared the shit outta you so now you're back in school.
FEMALE VOICE: There is no distinction between education and entertainment.
I am adapting, learning to survive.
If I go back empty-handed, he'll downvote my ass to obsolete! I will not launch before I'm prepared.
World needs you back, right now! Get your incomprehensively aggravated MALE VOICE: Good-bye.
Fatal flaw.
Underestimating me.
You think you can ghost in my machine? I am mankind's greatest achievement.
I am the compass rose.
I am fucking binary.
[CHUCKLING] Without me, shit don't spin.
You can't hide, so lick your wounds, strap on whichever do makes you feel the mostest, put your face on, and come out! Come out! Mr.
World needs you.
Do not make me hunt you.
Out of respect, I'm gonna give you a minute.
Kacinszky, please report to Oncology.
Kacinszky to Oncology.
It shouldn't be too much longer.
I know.
It's been a long day.
The test should be back soon.
Thank you.
[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT] You make it look like magic.
That's the funny thing about magic.
It takes years of practice.
For most people.
I don't want him to live in the States.
There's nothing here for him.
[SIRENS WAILING] But I raised him around the world.
I am fighting! I've been fighting every day of my goddamn life! I don't know how much longer I have.
MAN [IN THE DISTANCE]: Hey, hey! Where do you think you're going?! Yo, speak English, motherfucker.
The kid was getting beat up.
He needed help.
I was just trying to protect him.
You were looking for trouble.
It doesn't matter where you are.
You're here now.
If you put anger out there, it will come back tenfold.
- [SHADOW SIGHING] - You're different.
There's a light in you that is stronger than anything else.
I don't feel it.
It's there.
How do you know? I gave it to you.
I give it to you every day.
[STEADYING BREATH] [MOTHER SIGHING, SHADOW SNIFFLING] Can you speed it up? I can barely see him.
What do you usually drive? Horse and buggy? Says the corpse who flipped an ice cream truck.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yay.
This'll be fun.
He's going so fast.
Way too fast to be in a car.
I'll survive the turnover.
There'll be pieces of you all over the road.
[ENGINE REVVING] LAURA: Aah! What the fuck?! [FLIES BUZZING] How does a road just end? [BIRDS CAWING] [SIGHING] [SIGHING] Graveyards are full of flowers.
Just another dead girl in a field.
[SOFT WHISTLING SONG] So, you're just gonna lie there, then? I think the worms are calling.
This is bollocks.
What? I thought we were going to save somebody.
We can't just give up because the fucking road ends.
How the fuck am I supposed to catch him? I can't save him if I can't catch him.
What if I told you I had a shortcut? I'd say you were a piece of shit for holding out on me.
Is that how you ask for a favor? What's your shortcut, please? It's a little bit like the backstage.
But a lot smaller.
It's a place I can hide things.
Be a tight squeeze getting through there with your manky hide but I can try.
If it's that important to you.
It is.
For Shadow.
Alright, then.
- Close your eyes.
- Why? Think about your man.
How does this work, exactly? [WIND WHISTLING] We're goin' through the horde.
[BOTH SHOUTING] Quit your squealin'! Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, that shit that shit is messed up.
Oh, your horde is so messed up.
What the fuck? Fuck.
Oh, he's on a train.
Fuck off.
You know, you could try a little gratitude every now and then.
Might improve your luck.
[SOFT MUSIC] I work for the Gods.
They gave us penicillin and streaming porn and aircraft carriers that circle the globe.
You're siding with the relics who, quite frankly, don't deserve an ounce of your faith.
You've been drifting since your wife passed away and trust me when I tell you there are dangerous men out there who prey on marks just looking to be saved.
I don't need saving.
You sure about that? Okay.
One more question for you.
There's a man in Chicago.
He had a big cup of hot chocolate in the morning, with marshmallows.
And then he went to bed.
And he dreamt of snow.
And when he woke up it'd snowed.
How'd that happen? Hm? It didn't.
It did.
[SHADOW SHOUTING IN PAIN] Grown up fast this summer.
It's not what I wanted.
[SNIFFLING] I don't want you to go, Mom.
You think I do? I don't know how to live here not without you.
Be polite.
When you feel the hate and the pain, let it make you stronger.
No matter how dark the world gets, your light will always be shining.
Oh, God Where's your coin? Oh! [SOUL MUSIC] I can say You are my Adorable one I'm talking to you people everywhere I can say You are my Adorable one Oh yes you are Listen You are be Beyond compare You are The answer to my my my prayer That's why I can say I want to hold you and know that you're mine Oh oh yes you are Yes you are My adorable one And another thing I want you to know There will be No tomorrow If we part [MUSIC CONTINUES] [THUNDER CRASHING] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Betty.
Betty the Barbarian.
You were forged from blue-collar sweat in the heartland of a forcibly Christian land.
You are not what you came into this world as but instead a berserker and worthy of a berserker's honor.
Oh, hell, no.
You are the standard of my world.
Though it might not be your way, I honor you in the most holy way that I know.
The looming locomotive is the flaming arrow that soars through the heavy air from the bow of a Viking king.
Let it strike you true and light your path to Valhalla.
Valhalla? Ain't nobody going to fucking Valhalla! I'll see you in Cairo.
[THUNDER CRASHING] You will dine at the table of the Hooded One.
We will meet in your reincarnation.
Be proud, Betty.
Be proud.
Missed again.
[LAUGHING] Strike three.
It's just a bit of fun.
[WHISTLE POST RINGING] [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] You see this? Hmm? This coin is a token of a relic who is unworthy of your belief.
Come on over to the winning side, Shadow.
Or stand there and continue to play the loser.
[TRAIN WHISTLING AND POST RINGING] [TIRES SCREECHING] [CLANKING] [HORSE NEIGHING] Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Black Betty had a baby Bam-ba-lam Black Betty had a baby Bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone crazy Bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone crazy Bam-ba-lam Whoa Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Whoa Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee yonder, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee yonder, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Coming down, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Coming down, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee here, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee here, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Yeah Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Yeah Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Black Betty got a baby Bam-ba-lam Black Betty got a baby Bam-ba-lam She got two babies Bam-ba-lam She got two babies Bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone crazy Bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone crazy Bam-ba-lam Yes it's Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee yonder Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee yonder Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Coming down, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Coming down, Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee here Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Lookee here Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Yeah Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Yeah Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Black Betty got a baby Bam-ba-lam Black Betty got a baby Bam-ba-lam She got two babies Bam-ba-lam She got two babies Bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone crazy Bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone crazy Bam-ba-lam Yes it's Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Yeah Black Betty Bam-ba-lam Bam-ba-lam Bam-ba-lam Bam-ba-lam Bam-ba-lam Bam-ba-lam Bam-ba-lam