Andi Mack (2017) s02e07 Episode Script

Head Over Heels

1 Previously on Andi Mack If we didn't race, we could still do this.
Which we're both good at.
- Maybe one of us is slightly better.
- (LAUGHS) No.
- Can't help yourself, can you? - You're the only person who gets that.
Should Jonah and I be holding hands by now? Good-sized knuckles.
I don't see any reason not to be holding this hand.
You're so creative.
You're so smart.
- Sorry, sometimes my palms get sweaty.
- (LAUGHS) Pops and CeCe are selling the house.
What about AndiShack? What happens to AndiShack? Don't worry.
We'll find room for your craft supplies.
AndiShack is not just the place that I keep my glue gun.
There's nothing else like it.
Cyrus, hey.
What brings you to The Fringe? Oh, we just got in a shipment of mustache magnets.
Actually, I wanted to talk to you but you have company.
Oh, yeah, Brittany asked me to put faces on these.
This one's Winona.
This one's Marilyn, note the beauty mark.
And then Tigress.
She's the fiestiest.
Mm-hmm.
You know, if you ever need someone human to talk to, my parents are professionals, and I'm sure one of them takes your insurance.
Dude, I haven't lost it.
Tell him, Marilyn.
(CHUCKLES) So, what's up? I have decided to become a screenwriter, And I've written a script, and I need someone to read it, and I've chosen you.
Oh.
Well, this is a surprise and an honor.
Mostly a surprise.
There's just five years left before I apply to college, and so far my only extracurricular activities are substitute flag monitor and lunch lady's favorite assistant.
I guess it's never too early to start obsessing.
- But why a screenplay? - Well, I'm blocked on my novel and my rock opera doesn't seem ground-breaking enough.
Please read it.
I need an objective opinion.
(SCOFFS) Well, why me? Why not Andi or Buffy or anyone? They'll just tell me what I want to hear.
Plus I know you're doing that movie makeup unit in school and I was really hoping I could get some feedback from someone in the biz.
Okay, but I'm not sure I'm qualified.
I really don't think I'd know a good script from a terrible script.
This is a terrible script.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS) I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh Is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go One, two, three I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow - Tomorrow starts today - Hey There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way - Hey - All the way - Sounds like you really enjoyed it.
- You guys, it was awesome.
I was climbing a mountain.
It felt so real, like I was actually touching the rocks.
One day we'll be telling our kids that we actually had to go outside to touch rocks.
They don't just have rock climbing.
They have hang gliding, volcano jumping, or you can just sit in a tree house - with a hedgehog.
- (LAUGHS) This place must be new.
I didn't know there was a virtual reality arcade in town.
I could use some virtual reality.
My actual reality kind of stinks.
CeCe is selling their house.
She is? That's terrible.
Yeah.
It is.
Including AndiShack, which is the most important place in the world to me.
So, can we please change the subject before I start crying? Hey, if you want to take your mind off of things, I'll take you to the arcade this weekend.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Cool.
It's a date.
(BOTH MOUTH) - You should come too.
- Uhh Gotta go.
Late for practice.
(BOTH SPEAK SADLY) Bye.
So close, Buffy.
I know.
He actually used the word "date.
" I thought we were finally gonna go do something, just the two of us.
It's okay.
I won't come.
No.
Do.
If you don't, he'll just end up inviting someone else.
Well, as awesome as that invitation sounds, I still don't want to be a third wheel.
Wait.
You and Jonah are a couple? Who can tell? We've never used that word before, and he has so many friends that we always end up doing everything in a group.
But he still likes you the best.
Does he? Sometimes I don't know if we're together or if we're just friends that like holding hands and ending calls with "No, you hang up first.
" BUFFY: You want half my fries? You never order them, and you always regret it.
That's okay.
They taste better when I steal them from you and you pretend not to see.
(LAUGHS) Weirdo.
(LAUGHS) Guilty.
They forgot your extra napkins.
- I'm on it.
- Thanks.
- What? - Extra napkins.
(SCOFFS) Everybody knows I like extra napkins.
I didn't, but obviously Marty's been paying attention.
(SCOFFS) Are you seriously gonna tell me he doesn't like you? That's just how he is.
He's thoughtful.
Thoughtful to you! And for the record, why not? You guys would make a great couple.
Well, we're not a couple.
But we could be one for a day.
- (INDISTINCT DIALOG) - I could bring him to the arcade, and then it would be like a double date which it won't be.
But that way, I won't be the third wheel.
Do you think Marty would be okay with that? Hey, I need a plus one for the virtual reality thingee.
- Wanna come? - Yeah, cool.
Just another service we provide.
(BOTH LAUGH) What are you doing? I'm restocking the nail polish.
(SCOFFS) In that order? I thought the visible spectrum was a safe bet.
You don't organize them by color.
You organize them by feeling.
(SCOFFS) It's supposed to go "happy, fancy, flirty, edgy, angry, dangerous.
" (MUTTERS) Where do "controlling" and "bossy" go? (CHUCKLES) Silly.
Those aren't colors.
(DOOR OPENS) - Hey, Bex! - Cyrus! Hey.
Back already? I know it's soon, but I just couldn't wait any longer.
Just to set the scene for you, it was like, "INTERIOR: Cyrus's bedroom.
ANGLE ON: Cyrus sits on his bed, nervously drinking milk" (MIMICS SLURPING) "wondering what Bex thinks of his script.
Fade out.
" So, did you get a chance to read it? - Yes.
- And? Uh, Cyrus, here's the thing.
I really didn't expect to love it as much as I did.
Really? You liked it? What was your favorite part? Oh, um, probably the noir mystery, the space stuff, or how it all builds to that ping-pong match at the end.
Okay, but there must've been something you didn't like.
Was the time-traveling dog too much? Who doesn't love a time-traveling dog? What about at the end when you find out that the main character is actually twins? - Random, right? - Which is why you never see it coming.
I mean (MIMICS EXPLOSION) right? Yes! That's what I was going for! (MIMICS EXPLOSION) Seriously, Cyrus, you should be really proud of yourself.
(LAUGHS) This is the best day ever.
Oh! I feel like Cody the Quantum Terrier when he travels to the future with the cat-shaped fire hydrants.
- Uh-huh? - Huh? Huh? Got it.
(DOOR SHUTS) You look like Robo-Jonah.
- Robo-nah.
- (CHUCKLES) I like it.
"ROBO-NAH: Master of Beck-nology.
" And coming soon, "Andi the Android.
" Andi the Android is definitely one of those robot vacuums that keeps getting stuck in the corner.
- (MIMICS BUZZING) - (BOTH LAUGH) What other appliances do you do? All of them, but my best is the microwave.
- Wanna see? - Yeah! - Beep, beep, beep, beep.
- (BOTH LAUGH) That's also my "truck backing up" impression.
- (BUFFY AND MARTY LAUGH) - MARTY: Whoa! Ooh! Watch out for that eagle! - (LAUGHS) Oh.
- (GASPS) - That was - Unreal.
- It was like we were - Actually flying.
Never felt anything like that before.
- Me neither.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE) My heart is still pounding.
I'm so glad you invited me.
- Me too.
- Why did you? Oh, because I didn't want to be a third wheel.
So, we're a fake couple? A virtual couple.
- Go again? - Goggles on.
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) - (CHIMES) - Watch out for the lava.
- I see it.
Don't worry.
Okay, but you're getting close to the edge.
(LAUGHS) Relax.
I got this.
- (THUMPS) - I just don't want you to fall.
It's a game.
I can't whoa! (LAUGHS) Oh my gosh.
That was hilarious.
Are you okay? I'm sorry.
That was so funny.
Did you hurt yourself? - No.
- Let me see your chin.
- No.
- You should have an ice pack.
- Let me see if they have an ice pack.
- Don't.
- Are you mad at me? - No.
- (NO DISCERNIBLE DIALOG) - (DOOR CLOSES) How bad is it? It's not so bad.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, it looks great.
Uh, I'm gonna go get you more napkins.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) I'll come with you.
Look.
I'm really, really sorry that I laughed at you.
It's fine.
But it feels like you're mad at me.
I'm not.
Can we just stop talking about it? Kinda hurts to move my jaw.
I I just wanna make you happy Ow.
Ow.
I I just wanna make you feel good - Even if for only just one day - (BUFFY CHUCKLES) (BOTH LAUGH) - (DOOR OPENS) - (BELL JINGLES) Oh, I'm actually waiting for someone.
Cyrus? Funny kid, likes cardigans, sometimes runs into the door? That's him.
Yeah, he said he wanted to meet me About the screenplay.
I know.
Me too.
Why would he (BELL JINGLES) 'Scuse me.
Who's ready to make a movie? - Spielberg? - It's us.
We're gonna shoot "Disillusionment of Souls.
" You said that was a working title.
It is because it's totally working.
Even better, it's pretentious.
The Ivy League schools love pretentious.
Wait.
Isn't making a whole movie just a little bit ambitious? That's why I'm assembling a great team, and I thought you could be the producer, because none of this would be happening without you.
Oh.
Please, don't put this all on me.
And he asked me to be the star, well, because obvious.
- You've read it? - Not yet.
Did you bring my copy? - Mm-hmm.
- (GASPS) Pause! I just decided what I'm wearing to the Oscars.
- (GIGGLES) Play.
- (THUDS) Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves? She's right.
She's right.
First there's the Independent Spirit Awards.
You'll wanna wear something a little more casual for that.
BUFFY: What makes you think he's mad? I sent him a text last night, and he didn't answer.
- Does he answer every text? - I wasn't keeping track before.
Well, what did your text say? "Good night.
" (MOCK-GASPS) And he didn't respond? It's almost like he was already asleep.
He didn't answer this morning either.
Normally I'd get at least a smiley face, but I would've been happy with the cat face, the dancing girls, or even the top hat.
He's got to be mad at me.
(SIGHS) BUFFY: Well, now's your chance to find out.
So, here we come again As you fall to fall to pieces Hi.
I was just wondering, did you get my text last night? I was gonna answer, but my phone died.
Right.
Right.
Look, I know you've already answered this question, but I just need to make absolutely sure you're not mad at me.
(SCOFFS) Like I already said, no.
Okay, then talk to you later? Sure.
- (BOTH PANTING) - MARTY: Ready to stop? - BUFFY: I could go another mile.
- MARTY: Same.
You might want to tie your shoe, though.
Well, since you stopped first.
BUFFY: Liar! My shoes aren't untied.
I had a great time yesterday.
Yeah.
It was a lot more fun being a fake couple.
I couldn't deal with all the drama that Andi's going through with Jonah.
But you know with us, it wouldn't be like that, right? - What? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) - With us, there wouldn't be any drama.
I mean, we're great together.
Yeah, we're great together because we're not a couple.
I'm just saying I think we could be.
And I'm just saying I know we shouldn't be.
- We have the perfect relationship.
- Not to me.
I don't want it to be fake.
I want it to be real.
Is that a possibility? - Marty.
- We're already running partners, and bantering partners, and plus-ones.
And I get you extra napkins.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) We're halfway there.
We're more than halfway.
But I like what we have.
We're Buffy and Marty.
We get each other? We're friends.
And we can joke around, remember? Virtual couple? Feels more like virtual nothing.
And you say And you say This could change Everything Okay, I need some specifics.
He hurt himself, you laughed, and now you think he's mad at you? I don't think it.
I know it, but he's denying it.
And now it feels like he's avoiding me, and he's not answering my texts, and it's just Okay, calm down.
At least he's not giving you some lame excuse like, "My phone died," or He is.
He said that! What should I do? You asked if he was mad.
- Twice.
- Twice Here's what you do.
You ask him one more time.
Why would I do that? Because the first time you ask, they're just saying what they think you wanna hear.
The second time, they stand their ground to prove that they weren't lying the first time.
And the third time, you get the truth, but only because you cared enough to ask three times.
He can't tell from this? What if I bake him some brownies? Three times.
Aww.
You gonna eat that? No, it's for Jonah.
Are you sure he's coming? He's usually here by now.
He has to come.
I need to ask him if he's mad at me (SIGHS) which he obviously is, because he's not here.
But didn't you already ask him? Yeah, twice, but apparently you don't get the real answer until the third time.
(SNORTS) Who told you that? - Bex.
- She's so wise.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) Never made it permanent Never tried to change her Life got busier, I bet What's going on with you two? We broke up.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't even know you two were together.
- We weren't.
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Jonah never showed up.
What if I never get the chance to ask him a third time? Is it too soon to ask if I could have his muffin? - (WHIMPERS) - Yes.
Yes, it is.
But it's just going to waste.
- (GASPS) - Bex! You have terrible taste, and not just in tops.
- (SIGHS) - (SCOFFS) Excuse me? This script, it's awful! A ping-pong mystery in space? - I know, it's bad.
- So, why haven't you told him? He's just so excited about it.
He's like a little puppy who's really, really excited about his script.
Okay.
Well, in the meantime, I'm stuck playing "Rafalka, 19, an alien table-tennis phenom, with tentacles of steel and two hearts of gold"! Okay, okay.
I never should've let it get this far.
- I just can't hurt his feelings.
- Well, I can.
So, either you tell him the truth or I will.
(SCOFFS) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) Is there many on the outside? I'm sorry, Cyrus.
I should've just told you the truth in the first place.
I was feeling so good about myself.
You still should.
Finishing a script is a huge accomplishment.
And one day you're gonna take your great work ethic and your ambition and bam! You'll be amazing.
(SIGHS) I just wanna know who I am, and where I'm going, and what I'm doing, so the future doesn't look so - wide open.
- A wide-open future is the best.
Quit worrying about college.
You're 13.
You don't have to be you yet.
You're still figuring out who you are, and that's okay.
- It is? - It really is.
Cyrus-in-progress? That's pretty great already.
Thanks, Bex.
You know, "Cyrus in Progress" would be a great name for a web series.
Shh.
Is it better now? - Is it better now? - (BUFFY AND ANDI LAUGH) I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask him for the third time.
- But are you sure? - Nope.
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) - (SCREAMS) The sun, the sun is shining revelation (LAUGHS) Sorry, I shouldn't laugh.
This is a perfect day, so what's a girl to say? It's okay.
I'm not mad.
Are you? I'm over it.
(CHUCKLES) And the rest of me is blind To the stupid things you do Just sit back, enjoy the view It's a perfect day (JONAH CHUCKLES) Aw.
How'd you trip? - That was so bad.
- (BOTH CHATTING) (R&B MUSIC PLAYS) Yeah, I'm sorry that your heart is broken And I'm sorry that you're not the one - I'm sorry - I'm sorry I'm sorry Next on "Andi Mack" There's been a new development.
CeCe won't sell the house if I spend some more time there.
There's sound coming out of that room again! Don't you love it? If you ready, come and visit us, run There's a student who needs tutoring.
- Him? - Her? - No way! - Walk to the muffin, like you already own it.
He can't do that.
Hey, don't tell him what he can't do.
- What's wrong? - I got a call from the school.
Andi never showed up.