Andi Mack (2017) s03e12 Episode Script

The Ex Factor

1 ANDI: Previously on Andi Mack You seem to know Bowie.
You could say that.
Do you know if he's seeing anyone? - I don't think so - 'Cause I was thinking I'd like to ask him out.
BOWIE: So Morgan did steal the prayer box.
And you knew she stole it? You made it look like it was all Andi's fault.
BEX: So, um, you and Miranda? She's out of my life forever.
Andi, Libby.
Libby, Andi.
Okay, everybody! Write down a wish you want to send up in your lantern.
(ALL CHEERING) Whoa I walk in like how do you do And I don't mean to be rude, or even act a fool I just do a little better with an attitude So riki tiki tiki tum tum Sticky icky icky like it's Bubble Yum Getting some, going dumb Maybe we shut it down when trouble gets loud It's on the tip of your tongue Turn the bass up Girl pick your face up I wanna see you move Turn the lights down CYRUS: Hey! It's gonna get loud (MUSIC STOPS) It's looking good! You like it? - BUFFY: We love it! - CYRUS: Like it? I can't believe you made it look like a barn.
It's got everything but a weather-vane.
- (CYRUS EXHALES) - (CHUCKLES) Anything we can do to help? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
It's basically done.
(MUSIC STARTS AGAIN) All day looking like you're 'Yonce Sippin on some I love group projects.
So fun.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS) I'm standin' on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blown away Life is upside down But any way it goes I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go - One, two, three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow - Tomorrow starts today - Hey There ain't a map to follow - But I'm with you all the way - Hey All the way Oh Huh this is a surprise.
Hi, Bowie.
Hi, Bowie.
Hi so I'm trying to come up with some small talk, but I can't.
What are you doing here? Hey, Morgie, look, they have drums.
Well, at least I know she can't walk off with one of those.
Sorry, that was funnier in my head.
I just wanted you to know what you said the last time I saw you I really took it to heart.
You were right, about everything.
Oh It meant facing some pretty hard truths about my parenting.
But I'm a much better mom because of it, and Morgan is definitely a happier kid.
MIRANDA: No more acting out.
I'm really proud of her, and proud of you, too.
So it's okay that we stopped by to see you? She asks about you all the time.
My mom has a new boyfriend.
Oh, does she? What's his name? I call him "Not Bowie.
" Well, that's a weird name.
She misses you.
And we heard that you're giving guitar lessons these days.
Guess who wants to learn how to play? - I do! - Uh Would you be willing to? I'd love to, but my schedule's kind of booked up right now.
You don't want to because you hate me.
Morgan! Look, I do not hate you.
Not even a little bit.
All right, you know what? I have some time right now.
Are you ready to do this? I was born ready.
Go check out some guitars.
See if there's one you like.
You are the most amazing person.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) Hey, she's not the only one who's missing you.
But you have a boyfriend.
He really is not you.
Well I'm engaged.
Oh! Wow.
- That's wonderful! - BOWIE: Yeah.
You're getting married! I am! Congratulations.
To who? AMBER: Okay, so Andi has the breakfast sandwich, Buffy has the fiesta scramble, and Cyrus has the berry smoothie.
Actually, that was blueberry pancakes.
- Fine, if you're gonna be picky.
- ANDI: Wait.
- Jonah hasn't ordered.
- JONAH: Oh! No worries.
I'm good, thanks.
You're not hungry? (CHUCKLES) Then why did you come to breakfast? Yeah, you could have slept in.
I'm fine.
I'm just here to enjoy your company.
That's sweet! And weird This guy claims this isn't what he ordered.
Stupid, right? - CYRUS: Totally.
- JONAH: So dumb.
You're a great waitress.
Anyway, I'm supposed to toss this.
Do you want it? Oh, well, if it's just going to go to waste, sure.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks.
(QUIETLY): Oh, man.
What? Should I wait? No, no, go ahead.
That was pretty nice of her, huh? Amber's a nice person.
Not that nice.
(GASPS) Guess what I just finished addressing! Congress.
No, silly, your wedding invitations.
They're all ready for you to mail.
Look how beautiful.
Ooh, I didn't realize I was having a royal wedding.
Well, it won't be a junkyard hootenanny, if that's what you mean.
They're very beautiful, Mom.
Thank you.
(CHUCKLES) I was going to mail them myself, since I designed them, and ordered them, and addressed them, and stamped them, and pick the date that's on them.
But you should do it.
It's your special day.
Hi, Bex Hey Well, if it isn't Melinda.
Here to accuse us of losing something your daughter stole? Actually, Bowie just told me the good news.
I came to congratulate you on your engagement.
Thank you? (SCOFFS) Sure.
It's all sweetness and light until someone loses a Tibetan prayer box.
Oh, that's right.
You're the grandmother.
Oh, and she's also headed to the back office, right, Mom? Where I will be watching this entire exchange on the security cameras.
Just FYI.
She is fun.
We enjoy her.
I really did just come to give you my best wishes.
I get that I blew my chance to be friends with you a long time ago, but I truly am happy for you.
Well, thank you.
- If you really mean it.
- I do.
You and Bowie make such a perfect couple.
I just wish my relationship with Morgan's father was more like yours.
Instead of, well (IMITATES EXPLOSION) Oh Can I ask what caused the (IMITATES EXPLOSION) Honestly? I never saw it coming.
For six years, we had a pretty perfect relationship.
And then? And then, we got married.
Really? Well, what happened? Suddenly it felt like we were together because we had to be, and not because we wanted to be.
We started spending more time apart, and then, eventually it felt like we were living two completely different lives until we couldn't remember why we were together in the first place.
Oh sounds awful.
Oh, don't worry! That's not gonna happen to you and Bowie.
You guys have what it takes to make a marriage work.
- So Morgan.
- Present.
Your mom says I can trust you.
I know I was bad.
But I promise, I'm on my best behavior.
Cross your heart? I'll keep my hands where you can see them.
Now, let's choose you a guitar.
Like in Harry Potter? When they choose you a wand? Yeah, kind of.
Do you have mahogany and dragon heartstring? (SUCKS TEETH) No, but I'm sure I can find you a mahogany and mahogany.
Sure! One sec.
Let's see you'll need something on the small side Yeah.
How 'bout this? Morgan? I can't see your hands! Morgan! Morgan! Did anyone see a little girl with long blond hair? Uh, no It's fine, she's just one of those kids that likes to play games.
It's Morgan! You win! You can come out now! Trust me, she's fine.
Morgan! BUFFY: We could go to a movie.
It's too nice a day to go to the movies.
Let's do something outside.
Okay, Mom.
Hey! Sometimes, they are right.
Not hiking.
I don't want to get another tick.
That wasn't a tick, that was a pen mark.
We don't know that for sure.
It was on your shirt.
And it was blue.
If it looks like a tick, and if it sends you down a fear spiral like a tick, then it may as well be a tick! This is exactly what I wanted to do, talk about ticks all day.
- (SCOFFS) - Unless you have a better idea.
Let's go to Adrenaline City.
We haven't been there in forever! BUFFY: And they have a new roller coaster! I have motion sickness patches, we're good to go! Sounds fun.
Um, but I think I'm gonna sit this one out.
Seriously? Yeah, I'm just not really feeling Adrenaline City today.
Well, we could do something else.
No, I have some weekend homework I should probably start anyway.
Homework? On a Saturday morning? Jeez, what's the opposite of Adrenaline City? Snooze Town.
Okay, guys, cool it.
He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to.
- Did I hear someone say Adrenaline City? - Yeah! I heard their new roller coaster makes one out of three people throw up.
Odds are one of us could be re-tasting our breakfast.
Doesn't that make you want to come, Jonah? Jonah's not coming? Are you sure? Because I happen to have two free tickets, and one of them could be yours.
Yeah, why not? You guys are right.
What'd they say? "You can do homework when you're dead?" Actually, I think it's "sleep," but who cares? You're coming! Unexpected twist.
Okay, I'll just go change real quick.
Hold up for a minute.
- Hey, thanks for that.
- I'm glad you're coming.
You know what's going on here, don't you? There's something going on? Tell us.
Jonah and Amber are getting back together.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) (INDISTINCT THEME PARK CHATTER) - (SCREAMING) - I hear sugar on the radio I'm all oh la la honey here we go So if you have a minute And feel like you can give it I'm down for trouble with ya any time Na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na You got me feeling like Thank you! Na na na na na na na na na So baby whatcha waiting for You better not mistake me for Someone wasting time Cause that's something that I can't afford I'm honest, when I say you're flawless Move me like the comets Rocket ship and put me on it Na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Ooh-ooh Na na na na na na na na na Ooh Na na na na na - (SCREAMING) - I'm a woman, I'm gonna own it So baby build a rocket ship and put me on it (VOCALIZING) Like a woman, and I want it So baby build a rocket ship and put me on it See? They're a couple.
No, they're not.
Jonah is dating Libby.
They're sharing a pretzel.
That's basically middle school marriage.
Guys, I really don't think that that's what's going on here.
And yet, we have the evidence right in front of us.
Dipped in mustard.
Jonah didn't even want to come today until Amber invited him.
And what about his new free food privileges at the Spoon? She's still not convinced.
(SCOFFS) How could you not be? Unless she knows something we don't.
Like what? Like what? Morgan! Morgan! Morgan! Morgan? Morgan? Bowie! (SIGHS) Miranda What's wrong? Where's Morgan? Look, I am so sorry.
For what? You're scaring me.
I just took my eyes off her for a second - (SIGHS) she disappeared.
- Disappeared? You lost her?! Look, I don't know what to do, I've been looking everywhere for her.
I think we should call the police.
- Boo! - (MIRANDA LAUGHS) Did you see his face? I did, Morgie! He was so worried! Wait did you know where she was this whole time? Yeah.
She does this with me, too.
Once in an airport! What can I do? It's her favorite game.
- It's fun! - Not for me.
Oh, come on.
Don't be mad.
(SIGHS) Ugh, what's the point? No! Please, tell me.
What were you gonna say? Why? So you can show up in a few weeks, thank me for my honesty, and tell me how much I helped you? Find someone else to play games with.
I'm out.
Are we getting Bowie back? No, sweetie.
This is the first time I'm showing this to anyone.
What is it? It's the wish Jonah made at the Moon Festival.
It fell off his lantern.
Jonah's never really mastered the glue stick.
I didn't ask him about it at the time because we'd just invented the "no break up" break up.
And then I thought I should wait for him to bring it up, but he never did.
- And then all this time passed - Just show it to us already! "I wish my family could be happy again.
" What's going on with Jonah's family? I think they might be having money problems.
How do you get that? Well, he hasn't been ordering anything when we're at the Spoon And he didn't want to go to Adrenaline City until Amber offered up a free ticket.
That's why Amber's been hooking him up with stuff.
She must know.
He probably confided in her because her family went through something similar.
That's why they've seemed so close lately.
Not because they're dating.
Gosh, and I was so judge-y! I feel horrible.
I wish there was something we could do for him.
Well, we can respect his privacy.
And not jump to conclusions.
But right now, that's about it.
Yeah Yeah.
Or And it turns out, Morgan was with Miranda the whole time.
What?! Those two are like the bad seed, and the bad tree it came from.
I can't believe I ever dated her.
(GROANS) You know, she came to see me, too? - She did? - Yeah.
And she said some things that were scary.
Like what? Just things.
I don't remember, all I know is that they scared me.
You gotta get her out of your head.
You should, too.
(MOANS SOFTLY) This is nice.
We should do this more often.
BOWIE: I'm so lucky.
To have this family.
To have you back in my life.
To think that I ever stepped away from it, - even just for a minute - Hey You're here.
I'm here.
Our giant hole in the wall is here.
BOWIE: It's true.
I love our life together.
- There's a hole in the world - Hope it never changes.
In the shape of you - Me, too.
- And it doesn't matter What I do I'll always be Half of two Hey, guys.
Dad, we need to talk to you.
Ooh, opening with "Dad.
" This must be serious.
It is! - So be serious.
- Okay.
Can you please give Jonah a job here? Whoa why? I can't tell you.
Yes, you can.
I'm "Dad.
" (SIGHS) Look, I'm really sorry, guys.
But this is a small business.
We can barely afford the staff we have now.
So much for that idea.
Hey! Hey, I'm really sorry, dude.
For what? Not being able to give you the job they said you needed.
(SCOFFS) Why would you say that? We just really wanted to help.
Help? Help with what? How did you find out? The night of the Moon Festival, your wish fell off your lantern.
Well, that explains why it didn't come true.
(SCOFFS) What does it mean? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
It's just embarrassing.
Dude, you've seen me on a carousel.
After which, I proceeded to vomit into my shoe.
Sometime last year, my my dad made an investment which I guess went extremely bad.
I didn't know anything about it until a couple months ago, when my parents told me we had to declare bankruptcy.
I think of that as a board game word not a real life word.
It's kind of the same, except you don't lose your game piece.
You, uh, you lose your actual house.
Where are you living? We're staying with relatives.
- Jonah - I'm fine! Really.
(SIGHS) We have a place to stay.
We're still all together.
It's just hard.
Listen, people declare bankruptcy all the time.
They get through it, they come out the other side.
You will, too.
That felt good telling you.
It's like I just took off a really heavy backpack.
- (JONAH CHUCKLES) - CYRUS: Dude, you can always lean on us.
We want you to.
It makes us feel useful.
You don't have to keep secrets.
You can tell us the stuff you think you can't.
Got it? Got it No more secrets.
Hi! Can I just give these to you? You sure can.
Hand them over! Ooh.
- Are these wedding invitations? - Yeah.
These are nice! Professional-grade calligraphy, limited edition flourishing love stamps.
Silver foil embellishments.
Oh, it was all my mom.
You know, this is my favorite part of the job, getting to be a part of this important moment when someone's life is gonna change forever.
- Um - Hey! What?! I don't think I'm gonna mail these out today after all.
- I'm not they're not ready.
- But I-I just want to spell check them again.
Don't want people having to choose between "tricken" and"boof.
" Days like these, I wonder why I even put on my short shorts.
Wait, stop, we gotta go back.
- I can't find my phone.
- It's in your hand.
Great, it's happening.
I'm gonna be one of those old people looking for the glasses that are already on their face.
I think you already are that old person.
I'd like to argue with you, but I found a piece of hard candy in my pocket.
(BUFFY GIGGLES) Is that Jonah? CYRUS: He's with Amber.
I'm really glad he's had Amber to confide in.
She's been through it, so she knows.
I can't believe I thought they were actually back together.
They were a toxic couple.
I'm sure neither one of them wants to revisit that.
But they really work as friends.
They really do.
Any one else feel like their eyes are burning? ANDI: Next, on Andi Mack.
Metcalf just announced costume day.
That's too soon! Guys, hello! We know what we're gonna be! Mount Rushmore! What you got goin' on for costume day? Costume day? You don't strike me as a costume day guy.
Do you think Andi'll still be my friend if I bail on Mount Rushmore? Quick answer, no.
- I need a sheet! - BEX: Huh? For a costume! Wait, let me help you! Are these your wedding invitations?