Anne (2017) s02e06 Episode Script

I Protest Against Any Absolute Conclusion

1 [MARILLA] Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, the length of your hair is irrelevant to your education.
There's no reason for you to stay home.
Please, Marilla, please don't make me go! I can't bear the humiliation! It's just too awful! Now, now, it won't be nearly as bad as you think.
They already think I'm a freak! Whatever will they think now? You're going to school today and that's final.
[ANNE SIGHING] Dearest Snow Queen, how you must miss your blossoms in the winter.
Now I know just how you feel.
You've barely touched your breakfast.
At least drink your milk.
[DIANA] Surely it can't be that awful? I'm a monstrosity, Diana.
In fact, you best forget me now and forever.
I'd never, ever want to bring this humiliation upon you too.
[CHILDREN LAUGHING] Best take off your hat.
I made a promise never to forsake thee.
Besides it's only hair.
It'll grow back soon.
Not nearly soon enough.
- You're back.
- Yes.
- There's no gold! - I-I know.
I-I heard.
That's not why I'm here.
It's really good to see you.
[DOOR OPENING] Open your readers to page 20.
[SIGHING] [GIRL WHISPERING] What has she done with her hair? [BOY] Look at her! It appears we have a new boy in class today.
[LAUGHTER] Are you sure you're sitting in the right place, young man? [LAUGHTER] First thing we'd climb a tree And maybe then we'd talk Or sit silently And listen to our thoughts With illusions of someday Casting a golden light No dress rehearsal This is our life You are ahead by a century You are ahead by a century And Josie Pye has a soul darker than a starless night! I dare not even repeat to you the wicked, wicked things she said.
You will if I need to have words with her mother.
She told Tillie that I had all my hair cut off due to lice! She said it's because I'm of "orphan stock.
" Right, then.
Words it is.
Oh, Marilla, what is it that makes people take such delight in the misery of others? You should've heard how everybody laughed after Mr.
Phillips called me "the new boy.
" Oh, and to make matters worse, Gilbert was there.
At least he didn't laugh at me, but still Gilbert Blythe? - I didn't realize he was back.
- Neither did I.
Of all days to return, of course he had to pick today.
And how is he? Is he well? He seemed well enough.
I can't imagine it's easy, all alone at this time of the year.
- I warned you about the winters here.
- Nah.
Not like this, Blythe.
Not like this.
This sun isn't even real.
It don't give you no heat, no warmth, no nothing.
It just shine on you like some faraway lantern in the sky.
Oh! And the air! How can I do any work if the very air I breathe is out to kill me? Let's get you situated.
Dad would be happy that it's being appreciated.
And you're pathetic.
[SIGHS] Thank you, Mr.
Most of those scraps aren't even fit for patching britches.
What in heaven's name are you planning to do with them? Art.
Art? Cole is painting us a magnificent forest for the Christmas Pantomime.
And all this fabric will lend it a most scrumptious texture.
- Hmm.
- [KNOCKING] [GIGGLING] - Mother gave me dresses to try! - [ANNE SQUEALING] You'll never guess what else Mother let me borrow! - [ANNE] Um - You'll never, ever guess! - Could I guess? - Neither of you will ever guess! [LAUGHTER] Hurry, Diana! I can't wait to see it! - Alright.
- [ANNE GASPING] [REGAL MUSIC] A tiara? Oh, Diana, you look like a real fairy queen! See? - Would you like to try it on? - No.
No, Diana.
Not Not like this.
I couldn't possibly I'll try it on.
[LAUGHTER] Oh, goodness.
[CLEARS THROAT] - [LAUGHTER] - You're both crazy! [GIRLS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Ten lords a-leaping Nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming Six geese a-laying Five golden riiiings Four calling birds Three French hens Two turtle doves Well done.
That's enough for now.
Now off you go.
"See that apple dangling from the tree? Uh pray, dear lad, go and fetch it for me.
" Isn't that your cue? I can barely hear him.
"Pray, dear lad, go fetch it for me!!" Is that loud enough for you? [ANNE] Alright, on the count of three, we're all going to sway to the left.
Ready? One, two, three! - "Get back " - [ANNE] Uh, other left, Charlie.
" to the murk waters from whence thy came! I banish thee to " Line! - Um I banish thee to darkness - Don't tell me! Start over! I can't hear myself think! - [KID] You're it! - [LAUGHTER] [ANNE] Alright, let's try that again.
One, two, three.
- [LOUD CHATTER] - [KIDS SINGING] [LOUD BACKGROUND CHATTER] - [WOMAN] Has anyone seen Matthew? - [BOY] He ran out crying like a baby.
- [LAUGHING] - [WOMAN] I see.
- - Let's begin.
Eyes up! And On the first day of Christmas My true love gave to me [GIRL] Anne! There she is! Hi, Anne! [LAUGHTER] - [EXCITED CHATTER] - [ANNE] Hello, my fairy princess! - Seeing a tree is so exciting.
- See you at the rehearsal! See you later, Anne! - [ANNE CHUCKLING SHEEPISHLY] - [MATTHEW] Why, uh ? Uh, they've decided it brings good luck.
Childhood is not without its challenges.
[GIGGLING] These are the spare clothes we're putting together for Marilla's costume work.
She's supposed to sew all manner of wondrous things! [HAMMERING] [ANNE] I've spent so many hours admiring the trees of Avonlea, but to actually be one It provides so much scope for the imagination.
They'll not let you, uh, play a girl? Oh, it's not because of my hair.
Or lack thereof.
Lynde says that the tree is a pivotal role.
[MATTHEW CLEARING THROAT] When you were younger, what part did you play in the Christmas Panto? Oh, no, I didn't play a part.
- Did you sing carols? - Oh, no.
Now in you get.
[MATTHEW GROANING AND GRUNTING] Matthew? Did you have a happy childhood? It was, uh It was a long time ago.
Step up! - [SHEEP BLEATING] - [HORSE CHUFFING] [BOY] Well, well, well, look who I found.
Of all the little brothers in the whole world, you must be the best at hiding.
I brought you something.
Ready? The plan is: take these to school and you make some friends.
You can do it, Matteroo.
You show up with these, you'll be Mr.
Wanna play? Bet you're a natural.
Thank you, Michael.
- [ROOSTER CROWING] - [MARILLA] Anne? Yes, Marilla? I'll want you to fetch these ingredients today in Carmody.
And be sure to get brown sugar, not white.
- Send Jerry! - I beg your pardon? Please send Jerry? I am sending Jerry, thank you very much.
But he has his own errands to run.
You'll go along with him.
Please don't make me go, Marilla.
It's awful enough being the laughing stock of Avonlea, but now Carmody?! I'll never live it down.
If you want mince pies or currants in your pudding, you'll just have to live it down, won't you? I'll be happy to starve! Enough of your cheek, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert.
Off you go.
[NEIGHING] [ANNE SOBBING] That's a that's a good spot.
I spent a lot of time up here when I was young.
A whole other town is gonna laugh at me and call me "boy.
" I can't bear it.
You've overcome worse than this Anne.
I'm sure you can again.
I wish I could stay up here forever and never show my face again.
I used to wish that, too.
[MATTHEW SIGHING] But it's not in your nature like it is in mine.
You're too brave to hide away.
- You think I'm brave? - I admire you for it.
- You just you jump right in, both feet.
- [ANNE CHUCKLING] Thank you, Matthew.
That's exactly what I'm gonna do! Ah! I'd like us to agree that any conversation about my hair is off-limits.
I already saw your haircut.
And I'm saying I don't wish to discuss it.
You're the one talking about it, not me.
So then drop it.
I never picked it up.
[JERRY] V'là l'bon vent V'là l'joli vent - V'là l'bon vent, ma mie m'appelle - Oh, must you? V'là l'joli vent V'là l'bon vent, ma mie m'attend I cannot believe I'm missing rehearsals for this! [KNOCKING] Good day to you, ma'am.
Oh Hello.
I Are you ? My name is Sebastian.
I'm Gilbert Blythe's friend.
His friend? Yes.
I live here now.
We met when we was both working on the ship, on our way to Trinidad.
I see.
Is Gilbert at home? Of course, yes.
Blythe! There's a very surprised lady here to see you.
Miss Cuthbert! What a pleasant surprise.
Hello, Gilbert.
Welcome home.
Thank you.
I see you've already met Sebastian.
- Won't you come in? - Oh, thank you, I-I just came by to see if you'd like to join us for Christmas dinner at Green Gables.
That's that's very kind of you to offer.
And of course you're welcome to join us Sebastian.
- I'd be delighted.
- Oh.
Very well, then.
Good day.
[HORSE SNORTING] Stop staring.
Since everyone already thinks I'm a boy, I thought it best to actually be one today.
[MAN WHISTLING] Oy, lad! Fancy a copper? Unload the rest of this here for me, would ya? [ANNE PANTING] That's good, lad, that's good.
Here ya go.
- Move it, boy.
- Sorry sir.
- [CHATTERING] - Knuckle down.
Oh! Yes! I get your marble! [CHATTER CONTINUES] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Yes! Nice shot! Where's my driver? [PANTING] Excuse me.
Boy, can you help, please? Just take that end, please.
Thank you.
Anne? Hello, Miss Jeannie.
Good heavens.
Why on earth are you dressed like a boy? I, uh I had to cut off my hair.
Why? What happened? It's a long and lamentable tale, but suffice it to say, it's been an interesting experiment seeing the other side of the coin.
Being a boy is quite liberating.
Women wear trousers in Paris.
- Really? - [IN FRENCH] Of course! [LAUGHTER] now.
A little change of pace.
- [ANNE] Huh.
- Thank you for the inspiration.
I may try a pair.
And thank you for comparing me to a calla lily.
I'm sorry I did, but the compliment was true enough.
Have a wonderful time in Paris, ma'am.
Goodbye, dear dress.
I think it's still meant to be yours.
Maybe someday.
When I have more than a penny.
You bought a dress? I thought you wanted to be a boy.
Only for the afternoon.
LYNDE] Let's see menacing devil lobster! What on earth is that? Thomas Lynde, you look as though you're about to tickle someone.
You said menacing.
So go on, then.
Alright, alright.
Is this evil enough for you, Mrs.
Lynde? Hmm? - Hmm? What do you think? Hmm? - [MRS.
I love that bird so much.
No one in the whole class can paint like you, Cole.
[GIRLS GIGGLING] Come along, ladies, there's no need to watch paint dry.
Come along, girls.
Want to see something funny? [MRS.
LYNDE] Cluster around, girls.
Let's begin.
Take your positions.
[GIRL] There once was a magical island A magic fantastical island Where a golden tree did grow - [INDISTINCT LYRICS] - [MRS.
LYNDE] Start again.
There once was a magical island - Oh! Oh! - Oops! Ah - [PEOPLE SHOUTING] - [COLE GROANING] [BONE CRACKING] [COLE SCREAMING IN PAIN] - Cole, are you alright? - Cole! - Ow! - Oh, my Oh, goodness me! - Stay still.
Don't move.
- Is he alright?! - Cole! - His wrist is definitely broken.
- I don't know what else.
- It was an accident! - Poor Cole.
- I swear! Oh, for heaven's sake.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Cole! [ANNE] Jerry, everything alright? It's Christmas Eve.
You're not working today.
I'm not working.
Thank you.
It's wonderful.
[DOOR OPENING] What are you all doing here? We went to your house to check on you, but your folks said that you came here.
Can we help you? If you tell us what to do, maybe we can do it together.
- I've always wanted to be a painter! - Moody! - Let me talk you all through it first.
- [GIGGLING] [ANNE SINGING] The holly and the ivy Now they are both full grown Of all the trees that are in the woods The holly bears the crown Trinidad! Oh, Marilla, I'm so excited to meet Sebastian! Try not to make a fuss.
He's Well, he's he's an islander.
Same as you and me.
Do you reckon they like mince pies in Trinidad? I sure hope so.
Either way, I'm sure he'll be polite about it.
He seems like a very nice fellow indeed.
No, you don't.
Straight to the parlor, please.
And mind you, pass a broom afterwards.
I won't have these pine needles underfoot.
We've got company coming.
[ANNE HUMMING] [KNOCKING] Merry Christmas to you both! - And to you.
- Do come in.
Matthew, this is Sebastian.
Pleased to meet you Sebastian.
Please, call me Bash.
Oh, what a lovely home.
Nice and warm.
Let me take your coats.
Uh Thank you.
I almost forgot.
My, how very kind of you.
It's curry.
Curry? - Yes, it's a blend of fantastic spices.
- Oh.
Why, thank you.
- It's good for stews.
- How nice.
We eat a lot of stew here.
Won't you sit down? Thank you.
- Uh, I wonder what's become of Anne.
- Hmm.
I'm looking forward to meeting Anne.
I've heard so much about her.
[GILBERT CHUCKLING] You're Sebastian.
Oh, how thrilling.
I've read so much about the ancient kingdoms of Africa and the Moors of Spain, but I've never actually met a colored person before.
Or not one of your complexion.
Your skin is absolutely extraordinary.
It-it's a rare pleasure to meet you.
A pleasure to meet you too, Anne of Green Gables.
Who'd care for some supper? - Oh, everything smells so good.
- Ever tried mince pie? No, but my nose tells me I'll like it.
Anne, please blow out the candles on the tree.
Merry Christmas.
But, uh, I don't have anything for you.
That's alright.
[CHUCKLING LIGHTLY] [MARILLA] Sea legs? I've heard tell from fishermen around these parts, but I didn't know it was true.
[GILBERT] Oh, it's true, as Bash here has delighted in pointing out to me.
He was a sight to behold.
Have you been to many exotic ports of call? Please, do tell us.
New York, Boston, Maine, Jamaica, Canary Islands - Do you have a favorite? - My island, of course.
I can understand that.
In fact, the Christmas Panto is about our magical island.
- Panto? - [GILBERT] Pantomime.
The play I've been helping with.
It's going to be wonderful.
And the costumes are fantastical, thanks to Marilla.
- Oh, hush now.
- [BASH] Sounds like Carnival.
Why you didn't tell me more about this? Because you said you wanted to stay in the house until spring! [LAUGHTER] But now that you mention it, I could really use your help with the rigging.
What do you say? Why not? I'd like to know more about this magical island.
- To the island.
- To the island.
Merry Christmas.
[ALL] Merry Christmas.
[BASH CHUCKLING] Heavenly Father, please don't let me forget these damnable lines! Oh! Lord, forgive me.
- Excuse me, madam.
- Has anyone seen Josie Pye? Josie Pye?! Where on earth is she? We're minutes away! Oh! I see you've hired a hand.
Good thinking.
Oh, no, this is my friend Sebastian.
He offered to help with the play.
Well, well, well.
- [COUGHING] - There you are! You look like you've just been widowed.
Where's your shovel? Where's your pivotal prop?! [HOARSELY] I left it at home.
- Oh, my word, you've lost your voice! - [COUGHING] Oh, my, my, my, my.
Oh my, oh my, oh my! Think, think, think, think, think Anne! Get over here.
Quickly! You're gonna take over from Josie.
You're going to play The Boy.
- Somebody get me a script! - It would be an honor to play the part! - I already know the lines.
- Word perfect.
Study, child, study! And you.
The tree's a lovely part, Josie.
I'll teach you all moves for the dance that we have, then Shovel! Where am I gonna get you a shovel? The play falls apart without a shovel! [MICHAEL] You can make friends, Matteroo.
[MATTHEW] I'll never be brave.
[MICHAEL] Of all the little brothers in the whole world, you must be the best at hiding.
You can do it, Matteroo.
- I-I - It'll only take an hour, Matthew.
You'll be home before you know it.
Oh, seats.
Excuse me.
[ANNE] Sorry, excuse me, sorry, pardon me.
[SIGHS] - Heavens, what's the matter, Anne? - I need a shovel.
Please? It's a matter most urgent.
Josie Pye just fell gravely ill.
What do you intend to do with it, bury her? I'm The Boy now! I've been given her role! - Oh, that's wonderful.
- You don't understand! I need a shovel! Josie forgot! If I don't have a shovel for the end, it won't make sense, - it'll ruin the whole thing! - I'll run out, I'll find one.
You go on now.
Don't you worry.
Probably for the best.
Ah! I'm sorry, excuse me.
Welcome, one and all, to The Tale of The Magical Island.
Hoot! - [LAUGHTER] - Hoot, hoot! [LAUGHTER] There once was a magical island A magic fantastical island - Where a fairy queen did rule - [WHISTLING] The people worked hard in farm orchard and yard They harvest and sow They garden and grow - [DIANA] They harvest! - We harvest! - They sow! - We sow! - They garden! - We garden! - They grow! - We grow! We harvest, we sow We garden, we grow All manner of things The bounty of kings There's no need to spend For our coffers won't end - Our island is splendid! - And much recommended.
[LAUGHTER] There once was a magical island A magic fantastical island Where a golden tree did grow It sprung from the ground And it blooms all year round It gives us our bounty All over our county We harvest, we sow We garden, we grow All manner of things The bounty of kings There once was a magical island A magic fantastical home - Hoot! - [APPLAUSE] Well done! - [KNOCKING] - Hello? - [POUNDING] - Hello? [CHEERING] - [ANNE CLEARING THROAT] - [CROWD LAUGHING] Because you have been hardworking and good, I bestow upon thee this golden apple tree.
[CROWD EXCLAIMING AND LAUGHING] [DIANA] Now rise, dear boy! I promise thee faithfully to always protect this tree, for the sake of our beloved island.
- [CROWD] Aw - [APPLAUSE] Why are you stealing my shovel? - [CROWD LAUGHING] - That's the minister! - [MAN] Oh! - [LAUGHTER] Boy?! See that golden apple dangling from the tree.
Pray, dear lad, do pass it to me.
Fair dame, the apple is not ours to take! Remove thee the fruit, and great trouble we'll make! - Oh, come now! - [LAUGHTER] Just one teeny apple? Christmas Panto, you say? My girl is The Boy.
My I'd like to see that.
Look out! Look out behind you! [WHISTLING] Best of luck to her.
[CROWD WHOOPING] [BOOING AND LAUGHTER] [FABRIC RIPPING] I've come from a land Far beneath the sea Of magic and mischief And devilish glee I know your dark thoughts You've been eyeing that tree Ah you're holding an apple Pray pass it to me - [KIDS CHANTING] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] - [KIDS] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] What creature is this?! Who is this monster?! - [KIDS CHANTING] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] - [KIDS] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] I'm a phenomenal abominable whelk You wanted that dress With its ribbons and bows You wanted that apple You saw how it grows You thought you could take it - That's not how it goes - [ANNE PANTING] You picked the wrong apple You'll reap what you sow - [KIDS CHANTING] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] - [KIDS] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] What creature is this? Who is this monster? - [KIDS CHANTING] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] - [KIDS] Devil lobster! - [CLAPPING] I'm simply shimmering with sin! [CROWD BOOING] Dearest fairy queen, we beg for your aid and forgiveness.
Please send us a hero to vanquish our foe! - [LAUGHTER] - [CROWD] Aw [DIANA] Your wish is my command! [CROWD EXCLAIMING] Get back to the waters from whence thy came! I shall banish thee to darkness in thy fairy queen's name.
You think you can turn our land into rot? I'm the unconquerable prince, lest you forgot! [MR.
LYNDE] Unconquerable? - Ha! - [CROWD EXCLAIMING] - [DIABOLICAL LAUGH] - [CROWD EXCLAIMING] Argh! [EXCLAIMING AND WHIMPERING] Ah! - That was so much fun! - Come on, come on, come on! - Hurry! - [CROWD CHEERING] - What - Sorry.
- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] - Hey! That's enough! Quiet down! [WHISTLING] - Oh! - [CROWD LAUGHING] Hold this.
- [DIANA] Oh, my! Is he alright? - I can't believe that happened! - Did you see what happened? - Out of my way! Out of my way! - We're gonna lose the audience.
- I'm here, I'm here.
Get him out of this wretched thing! Is this your doing? - You savage brute! Shame on you! - Who will play the owl now? - Come along.
- He needs air.
Clear back! Clear back! [MRS.
LYNDE] Do you mind if I take the costume? The show must go on! - I'll take that.
- Yeah, go go get 'em.
- [MATTHEW] Excuse me.
- Hello, young lady.
- [MRS.
LYNDE] Oh, dear! - Places everyone! Oh, Matthew, you're my hero.
Thank you.
I'll tell Mrs.
[GILBERT] Bash, set the black hole! [APPLAUSE] [CROWD BOOING] No, no, no.
Goodness, goodness! Behind ya! - Ah! - [GASPING] - [LAUGHTER] - Ah! Well done! Without Billy, how are we gonna finish the play?! - That was the best - [MRS.
LYNDE] Oh! Oh, salvation! - Put this on! - No, that's enough of that.
What's going on? - Would you just stay still? - I won't have part of this.
- We need an epilogue! - Rachel! Anne rose to the occasion, now it's your turn.
[GIRL] Mr.
Cuthbert's going to play the owl? The owl has to finish the play! All you have to do is read! Go! - [CROWD EXCLAIMING] - [MAN] Oh! [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] - [HEARTBEAT] - [BACKGROUND CHATTER] And a partridge in a pear tree On the eighth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Eight maids a-milking Seven swans a-swimming It's alright, Matteroo.
You don't have to participate.
It's alright.
Let's get you home, okay? [MRS.
LYNDE] Anne rose to the occasion.
Now it's your turn.
And they all lived happily ever after! - [LAUGHTER] - [MAN] Well done, Matthew! [APPLAUSE AND CHEERING] Today, in the wake of my very own Diamond Jubilee, I hereby bless all of Avonlea! God bless you all.
And God save me! Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa la-la-la-la la-la-la-la 'Tis the season to be jolly Fa la-la-la-la la-la-la-la [ANNE] When the devil lobster and prince waged their battle, it took every ounce of my strength not to laugh out loud! And didn't the minister make a most remarkable Dame?! I don't think I'll ever feel quite the same about his sermons.
[LAUGHING] It was a thrilling evening! I doubt I'll sleep a wink tonight or maybe ever again? - [LAUGHING] - I was very proud of you, stepping into the role the way you did.
[ANNE] I hope I made a convincing Boy.
And just think, if you hadn't sent me to Carmody, I might not have had the practice.
Whatever do you mean? Matthew! You were a most magnificent snowy owl! - Didn't you think so, Marilla? - I'd say about stole the show.
[ANNE] He did.
I never thought you'd ever do anything like that.
Ah, uh neither did I.
These were mine when I was a boy and I thought you might like them.
- Marbles?! - Yeah.
I challenge thee to a duel! Doth thou accept? - I doth.
- [ANNE SQUEALING] And don't be upset if I win.
I've had some practice.
So have I.
[ANNE CHUCKLING] We'll see about that.
- That's the nines.
- I know.
- What goes in the middle? - Green.
Green? Winner gets the hat? - [MATTHEW] Winner gets the hat.