Arthur (1996) s01e26 Episode Script

My Dad, the Garbage Man/Poor Muffy

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Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪
Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪
( laughs )
And I say hey! ♪
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen
to your heart ♪
Listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪
Get together and make things
better by working together ♪
It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself ♪
For that's the place
to start ♪
And I say hey! ♪
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other. ♪
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪
Hey, D.W.
( crash )
( humming )
Ever wonder what the most
perfect Dad would be like?
I like my Dad just fine,
but what if he was
A drag racer?
( detector clicking )
Over here!
Or what if he was
a transformer?
A quarter.
Thanks, Dad.
No problem, son.
Or a dad like Francine's.
He's pretty cool
just the way he is.
That's right.
Keep your eyes on me.
Bring your
arm forward
and let her fly.
( laughing )
Do they let girls play
professional football?
If not, we'll make them.
Ready for golf?
( shouts )
( sighs )
I have some good news.
( all gasp )
We've spent the last
several weeks studying careers.
We have?
I'm pleased to announce
several of your parents--
Muffy's father
Brain's mother
and Francine's father--
have volunteered to show us
their places of work
which means
field trip!
( class shouts joyfully )
A field trip with Dad?
Are you out
of your mind?
What's wrong with that?
Francine, don't you
realize what this means?
Have you no pride?
( mechanical crunching )
Way to go, Dad!
Come on down!
You're missing all the fun!
Do you really want
your friends to know
that our father is
their garbage man?
When are you
getting a real job?
A real job?
You mean where
I'd carry a briefcase
and not get home till 7:00
and be too tired
to play with you?
Wear a suit and tie!
I can't do it, Catherine.
I can't ever have a real job
because I don't know
how to tie a tie.
No one ever showed me how.
( laughing )
( laughing )
Very funny.
( humming )
They're here, Mr. Crosswire.
Welcome to Crosswire Motors.
( band begins playing )
( band stops )
Welcome to Crosswire Motors.
I'm honored
( band playing )
deeply honored
to have this opportunity
to share my life's work
with you.
It takes lots of hard work.
It takes commitment.
It means staying open
every night
till 10:00--
holidays, too--
no matter what
the sacrifice.
Kids-- stick close,
don't touch the merchandise
and if you get too excited
put your head
between your knees
and breathe deeply.
It can't be done.
First up,
the sales room--
the busy hub of
the auto universe
the very heart and soul
of the operation.
Next is the strategy room.
This is where we labor to
understand the people we serve
the people on whose behalf
we strive-- you, the customer.
Let's listen in.
So what if the engine falls out?
Once they're off the lot,
it's their problem.
And now the piece de resistance.
That's French.
As a special treat,
I've arranged for you
to test-drive these
top-of-the-line vehicles
in the parking lot.
( kids cheer wildly )
( whistles loudly )
I think we'll pass.
Back to the bus everyone.
We're running late.
( kids moaning )
Well, kids, save those pennies
and remember, Crosswire Motors
is here for you.
Next, Brain's mom
at the ice cream shop.
We'll visit Francine's
father tomorrow.
What does your Dad do?
P.U.-- what's that smell?
My Dad?
He uh,
sort of, um
guess what, everyone?
I can spit my gum in
the air and catch it.
( kids giggle )
You're such
a child, Francine.
( giggles )
Welcome to my ice cream
invention room.
What are all these tubes
and things?
They're what we use
to make ice cream.
Here's candy.
And chocolate.
In honor
of your teacher
let's combine all
your favorite
into a brand-
new ice cream
hereafter known
as "Rocky Ratburn."
Okay, everyone, stand back.
Uh, very unusual.
Thank you, Buster.
You may have the rest.
Tomorrow we take the bus to
where Francine's father works--
8:00 a.m. sharp.
You thought inventing
ice cream was fun?
Get a load of this--
free disgusting garbage!
Let's hike through
a pit of trash.
Take off your shoes and squish
rotten cheese between your toes.
Then we'll hike
through diapers.
Mom, could
you get Dad
to cancel
the field trip?
Why would I want to do that?
You know so people
don't find out what he does.
You sound
like Catherine.
Why does he have to have
such a stupid job
that's not exciting?
Isn't this something you should
discuss with your father?
I knew you'd say that.
Hey, just in time.
Look what I found
at the dump.
You can practice your swing
and annoy your mother
at the same time.
Did you want something?
Oh nothing.
Thanks, Dad.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't tell him.
You better think
of something.
I'm warning you,
you'll never live this down.
I've got it!
What's the big secret?
Where are
we going?
We're at the dump!
Is your dad a garbage man?
Can you keep a secret?
What is it?
I can keep
a secret.
My dad works for a very
secret organization--
So secret he can't even name it.
The F.B.I.?
He just pretends
to be a garbage man.
It's his cover.
So whatever you do,
don't blow it or
Hello, I'm
Francine's dad.
Nice to meet you.
This place is disgusting.
If I ruin these shoes,
I'm suing.
What a bunch
of long faces.
No, don't tell me.
I know what you're thinking.
You're honored and amazed to
meet a real, live garbage man.
It smells here.
You're right.
Fantastic, isn't it?
Earth and compost
and fuel and smoke.
( inhales )
But the best thing
about working in a dump--
the absolute, number one,
best thing of all is
you get to drive a bulldozer!
Any questions?
Is it true you're
with the F.B.I.?
Not that I know of.
I am, however,
a proud member of F.O.S.E.
Federal Office of Spy Experts?
Fraternal Order
of Sanitation Engineers.
The second great thing
about working at a dump
is getting to crush stuff
into little pieces.
( machinery starts )
Ready set go!
( kids shout excitedly )
What's really wonderful
is all the great stuff
you can do with garbage.
Just imagine
one day we may even build
beautiful cities
and roads
from compacted trash.
But in the meantime
All this is made from stuff
I found at the dump.
It shows what you can do
with a little imagination
and a lot of trash.
What are you waiting for?
( kids shouting with glee )
The secret is out.
Think Catherine will
ever forgive me?
We shouldn't tell her.
Maybe I should
get one of those jobs
that comes with a tie
and a briefcase.
( laughs )
Your dad's the best!
No kidding.
Is he really with the F.B.I.?
Well, no.
He's really a
garbage man!
And now
All my classmates, their parents
have different jobs.
My dad makes concrete.
My dad grinds up these rocks
to make concrete.
My mom is a letter carrier
and she walks ten miles
until her route is finished
and usually she wears a blue
shirt and dark blue pants.
My father's a plumber and he
has to fix toilets and stuff.
If you had a leak in your pipes,
then you would call my dad.
That's my father and me
and that's the pipe
that's leaking.
My mom's a nurse.
My mom gave me a ste
a steth
a stethoscope.
This thing.
She cares for people
when they're sick.
My mom uses a stethoscope
in her work.
My dad's a fire fighter.
My dad goes to schools
to show kids
about fire fighters and how
you shouldn't be afraid of them
if you have a fire at your house
because they're
just normal people.
( bell rings )
( man talking
over two-way radio )
( kids imitate siren )
My dad makes concrete.
My mom is a letter carrier.
My dad's a plumber.
My mom's a nurse.
We all work together!
And now
( muttering )
Sometimes I wonder
if life would be easier
if I lived with
a different family
like if I had
the Brain's parents
Wow, a new species
of mushroom.
what are you doing?
I told you to let
the robot clean up.
Now you have more time
for homework.
Well, maybe that
wouldn't be so great.
But what if I lived
with Binky's family?
( making grunting
and growling noises )
Get out of here,
I got to clean the room.
How come you're
cleaning it?
I dibsed it first!
You did not.
Sure did.
Sure did not.
All right,
if you really want
I guess you can
clean it this one time.
( taunting laugh )
But I guess living here's
okay for now.
D.W. don't!
Great, now I have
to clean up again.
( birds singing )
( thunder )
I'll be the hostess
for the tea party
and you, Mr. Fuzz, will be
( Muffy sneezes )
Tea, Mr. Fuzz?
Want hot
It's Mr. Fuzz's fav
( beginning to sneeze )
Not on the cakes!
Not on me
( beginning to sneeze )
False alarm.
Muffy, do you think
maybe you have
an allergy?
No, honey, sniff it.
Maybe you're allergic.
Not funny.
No Crosswire was
ever allergic to money.
It has to be
something here.
( Francine gasps )
I think I know what it is.
( sniffing )
( sneezes )
Francine's right.
Any time I want to sneeze
all I have to do
That's enough
now, Muffy.
It will be
a couple of days
before the carpets
are removed.
I got us a room
at the Elwood Arms.
The Elwood Arms--
that tacky place?
Ed, we can't stay there.
I know.
Muffy can stay
at my house.
Really? could I stay
at Francine's?
Only if it's
all right
with Francine's family.
Of course it is.
They'll love
to have you.
What is going on here?
Muffy is
staying with us
for a couple of days.
( gasps )
Where shall I
place this, miss?
you already brought a TV.
What if I want to watch
two things at once?
( grunting )
Over here.
Excuse me, I know this
is probably unimportant
but there was barely enough
room for two people before this.
Catherine, how
would you like
your own room?
My own room?
My own room
( sighs )
No, a little more to the left.
( grunting )
That's perfect.
Let's go back
to the statue.
I'm not your servant!
I'm sorry, Francine.
I just wanted your room
to look perfect.
Can you ever forgive me?
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
Now, just move the statue
a little to the left.
( growling )
Muffy, Francine,
Thank goodness.
With all this moving,
I'm famished.
Whoa, now let me
get this straight.
You want me to eat food
cooked last night
that got cold
and was cooked again?
It's called
I call it
There's something
wrong with your TV.
You only get
three channels.
We can get one more
but you have
to put the antenna
on your head.
Want to give
it a try?
No V.C.R.,
no video games.
We studied
this period in school.
Soon we invent
the wheel, right?
Football, anybody?
I've got a better idea.
Let's get ice cream.
Friday nights are
ice cream nights.
Tell you what--
Since Muffy's our guest, why
don't we break with tradition
and get ice cream
right now?
And a scoop of ham ripple
and sprinkles and nuts
Do we get ice cream
every Tuesday now?
We need to try to make Muffy
feel at home, Francine.
Just think how hard it must be
for your sister to adjust
to living at Muffy's.
( humming )
( knock at door )
Hurry up in there,
ducks, bedtime.
I've been thinking.
Why doesn't your family have
as much money as my family?
That's a good
All I know is
there are some perfectly
nice people who are rich
and some equally
nice people who aren't.
Besides, what would
I do with money?
Could I buy
a better family?
No, but you could
get more TV channels.
I think I could live
without that.
I'd rather spend time
with Francine and her friends.
Shark attack!
Ahh, you got me!
This is all
very heartwarming
but you're
hurting my feet!
Hey, we can walk
to school together.
Walk all
the way to school?
Are you joking?
I'll see you there.
How did you
get here so fast?
You forgot your lunch!
You want my
driver to take
you back?
What happened
to the electricity?
( yells )
And now the little girl
jumps on the pony's back
and now the pony
has begun to fly
and now there's a rainbow.
Give it a rest, Bailey.
It's just not the same.
( harpsichord music playing )
( loud rock music playing )
( gasps )
This is your neighbor.
What's going on?
I was listening to that!
Would you turn that
music down, please?
You can't play it that loud,
Muffy-- the neighbors.
Let me get this straight:
I can't have the food I like
I can't watch the TV I want,
and now I can't play my music?
Look, Muffy, if
you don't like it
why don't you
just go home?
Well, maybe I will.
I'm pretty tired
of being poor.
We were too much for Muffy.
Don't call her that.
Her name is Muffy Rotten
Stinkweed Crosswire spit!
Strangely enough,
Rotten Stinkweed
is my own middle name.
Do you think
we could be related?
( phone
rings )
Daddy, please.
I just want to
tell you I'm leaving
even if I die sneezing.
May I speak to her?
Hello, Muffy?
Look, if you leave,
who's going to play
football with us?
Oh, please
Tell Francine
I heard that.
I wish you'd
Oh, okay, I'll stay.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Aren't you going
to ask me if
you can stay?
Excuse me,
Mr. Frensky.
Someone wants
to talk to me.
Okay, Francine,
am I allowed to stay?
( gasps )
You aren't.
You've been rude
and selfish.
Maybe I was
mean to Muffy
but she only cared
about herself.
Maybe Muffy's just not used to
living in a house
with different rules.
You two should
talk about it at
school tomorrow.
I hope she doesn't
sneeze to death.
I wanted to tell
you I'm sorry
I was so rude.
I really did like
staying at your house.
your limo?
I decided to walk
with you today.
You aren't going
to faint or something?
I'm having
Bailey follow.
I even
miss leftovers--
the hotel
didn't have them.
do you think
The carpet's almost out,
but do you think
I could stay one
last night with you?
Could you survive
with three TV channels?
If I can survive walking
all the way to school
I can survive anything.
I'm serious.
Are we there yet?
How much farther?
I think
I have a blister.
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen
to your heart ♪
Listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself ♪
For that's the place
to start ♪
And I say hey! ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day! ♪
Hey! ♪
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