Back to the Future (1991) s01e06 Episode Script

73007 - Go Fly a Kite

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do Was play my guitar and sing So take me away I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time (LIGHTNING CRASHING) (ENGINE REVVING) (TIRES SQUEALING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (LIGHTNING CRASHING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (TIRES SKIDDING) Whew! That was a close one! If it weren't for lightning, my pal Marty would've been trapped in 1955 forever.
Or at least until 1956.
You see, a bolt of lightning contains over 100 million volts of electricity.
Translated into wattage, that's, um Volts times amps In, oh Oh, well, anyway, plenty of power to activate the flux capacitor, that's for sure.
Let's see that again.
My challenge, of course, was to harness this massive jolt of electricity.
Thank goodness for Benjamin Franklin and his invention, the lightning rod! Not many people know this, but I had the honor of being present in Philadelphia on the very day in 1752 that Mr.
Franklin conducted his famous kite experiment.
A key moment in history! Although, of course, the whole thing started here in Hill Valley some years later.
(ELECTRICITY SIZZLING) (THUDDING) (BEEPING) Boxcars! All right! I'm bakin' your beans now, Mr.
Wizard! An unlikely occurrence.
(BEEPING) Bonehead move, butthead.
Bummer! (SCREAMING) (ALARM BUZZING) To no one's surprise, you have been defeated once again.
My calculations indicate that you, the loser, must now take out the garbage for the next 753 weeks.
Rats, rats, double rats! How come you always win? Face it, Verne.
You lack the basic intellectual skills one would naturally expect in a member of the Brown lineage.
You show no aptitude for science whatsoever.
(THUDDING) You fail to resemble Mother, Father or myself in any of the primary phrenological specifications.
And, as a capper, Father has failed to provide you with your own personal hoverboard.
The conclusion should be obvious even to you, Verne.
You're adopted! Take that back or I'll punch you out! You and what body of organized servicemen? Jules, Verne, hush up your caterwauling and come to supper.
Ah, that would be my biological mother.
Would you care to join my family for dinner? It's my family, too! Really? Then why are there no baby pictures of you? Well, I For all we know, you might even be a Tannen.
(EARTH-SHATTERING ROAR) (ENGINE RACING) DOC: Einie, I think old Isaac H.
Newton himself would be proud.
Just think, the touch of a button, and one can photograph any person from any era of history! Let's see, who shall be my first subject? Woof.
Perfect! Inventor, statesman and philosopher Creator of the rocking chair, the postal system, bifocals And the man who, while flying a kite in a storm, discovered the true nature of electricity.
Benjamin Franklin! VERNE: Dad! Yes, Vernie? No, Vernie! (CRASHING) What gives, Pop? Am I a Tannen? A Tannen? Great Scott! Where did you ever get such a discombobulated notion? Jules says I don't look like you, I'm not smart, and there's no baby picture of me, so I must be a Tannen.
Baby picture? Well, this should set your mind at (ALARM BUZZING) Jumping gigawatts! (ALARM BUZZING) Do you realize what that means? No.
It's suppertime! Woof! Hey, what about my baby picture? After dinner, Vernie! As Benjamin Franklin once said, "He who can have patience, can have what he will!" Yeah, great.
I bet Jules would understand what that means.
(BUTTONS CLICK) (BEEPING) (MACHINE CHARGING) Whoa! Jules was right! I am adopted! And this old guy with the kite must be my real father! "Verne and Ben Franklin, Philadelphia, 1752.
" Wow, I'm a lot older than I thought.
DOC: Mmm! Zea mays on the cob.
My favorite! Yes, I took the train to McGregor's market, 1886.
You just can't get good corn nowadays.
Ah-ah-ah! Aren't we forgetting something? Yes, yes.
I should launder the epidermal surface of my upper forelimbs' terminal components, utilizing a perfumed block of rendered animal fat.
CLARA: Emmett, where's Verne? I believe he's in the car, about to Crash into the house! (WHOOSHING) (LAUGHING) Oh, Sir Isaac Newton himself would be proud.
This will teach those skeptics at the British Royal Society to laugh at me.
(LIGHTNING CRASHING) And to think they proclaimed this experiment dangerous! (EXPLODING) (ROPE SNAPPING) (LIGHTNING CRASHING) (FRANKLIN YELPING) (LIGHTNING CRASHING) (THUDDING) Perhaps I should stick to wood-burning stoves.
Boy, what kind of moron would fly a kite in a storm like this? Daddy! Unhand me, lad! I must complete my experiment before the storm abates.
Dad, are you crazy? You'll get electrocuted! (LIGHTNING CRASHING) FRANKLIN: Drat! The storm is over.
The lightning is gone.
I missed my opportunity to finish my experiment.
And lost time is never found again! Ooh, this is all your fault! Sorry, Dad.
Does every family have a kid that's always running away from home? CLARA: Yes, but most of them stay in the 20th century.
Mother, Father Perhaps I could shed some light on Verne's disappearance.
(POWER TURNING OFF) NEIGHBORS: Hey, what's going on here? BOY: Mom, the TV went off! JULES: Then again, perhaps not.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) JULES: Greetings, Martin.
Hey, Jules, the power's off all over town, and, uh I thought that maybe Doc had something to do with it.
Not to my knowledge, which is quite vast.
DOC: I'm in here, Marty.
(RATCHET TWISTING) Just converting the household appliances to steam.
Fire it up, Clara! A woman's work is never done.
(FIRE ROARING) (FAUCET SQUEAKING) (WATER BUBBLING) (STEAM WHISTLING) (MACHINERY WHIRRING) DOC: Marty, have some toast.
(SQUISHING) Want some jam with that? No, thanks.
I like my toast dry.
(BEEPING) EINSTEIN: Woof! (BEEPING) Woof! DOC: A message? Perhaps it's from Vernie.
Dear Mom and Dad Make that, Dr.
and Mrs.
Brown.
You can't hide the truth any longer.
I found proof of my real dad, so good-bye forever, you fibbers! And tell your real son, Jules, he's gotta take out the garbage! (TIRES SQUEALING) Heavens to Betsy Ross.
I don't get it.
What made the little goofball think he's adopted? Uh I may have been the source of Verne's misapprehension.
CLARA: Jules Eratosthenes Brown! I'm ashamed of you.
Now your brother is lost somewhere in time with no way for us to find him! Hey, chill out, Doc.
Here's how you find the little squirt.
Rewind the tape.
(TAPE REWINDING) AUTOMATED VOICE: Picture enlargement.
MARTY: Hey, check it out.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, September 2, 1752.
Marty, you're a genius! (BONES CRACKING) Doc, Doc You're wrinkling the fabric, not to mention my skin! Holy Marconi! The very day that Ben Franklin flew his famous kite and discovered electricity! Verne must have interfered! Do you know what this means? No more electric guitars? And if we don't rectify this situation immediately, no more electric anything! Every electrical device will be erased from existence! To the train! Steam-powered, of course.
Hey, Dad, slow up! Young man, first you ruin my experiment, then you dog my steps all over Philly, pestering me with your insistence that I'm your father.
Quit clowning, Dad.
Look at this picture.
Hmm, yes, a clever artist's rendition.
But I know my children.
And thanks to my invention of the bifocals, I can clearly see that you are not one of them.
Now, go home! (EXHALING) Ahh! What are you doing here? You said to go home, and my bogus mom always told me to obey my father.
Neat-o! My new dad has even more cool junk than my old dad.
Hey, what are these things? Young man, put down those irreplaceable pinions.
Don't get your shorts in a wad, pops.
I'm not gonna break 'em.
(WHOOSHING) (GEARS WHIRRING) Look at me! I'm a birdbrain! (THUDDING) (WHOOSHING) (CRASHING) (THUDDING) Ouch! See? I didn't break the wings.
I used to say that fish and guests stink after three days, but in your case, let's make that five minutes.
Ah, don't be such an oucho-ma-groucho.
(MARCHING MUSIC PLAYING) (EXPLODING) (STEAM BLOWING) Hello, hello? What's all this in aid of? And what was all that bangin' and boomin' back there? Say, you wasn't involved in some revolutionary action against His Majesty, Good King George, were ya? Heavens to Kepler, no! We were merely Uh (STAMMERS) Just, uh, shooting off some fireworks for the, uh Fourth of July.
Ah.
Very well, then.
Uh, carry on.
Fourth of July? It's bloomin' September! (SCREECHING) Halt, ye colonial conspirators! Einie, you and Marty keep him busy while I fetch Verne.
Woof.
Oh, cheesesteaks! The barometer is rising, which means fair weather.
At this rate, I shall never complete my experiment.
(GLASS BREAKING) Hey, pops! How about a game of darts? (POUNDING AT DOOR) Yes, what do you want? Mr.
Franklin, sir, it's an honor to meet you.
I'm searching for a young lad, wearing headgear fabricated from a synthetic carnivorous ring-tailed mammal.
VERNE: No way! It's a fake raccoon hat! And you're not taking me, copper! Geronimo! Yes, a fine Apache leader! But, Verne, honest-to-goodness son of mine Come back! Ahh! (CRASHING) (THUDDING) Hmm.
This gentle rocking motion is quite pleasing.
I think I'll call it the "To and fro chair.
" No, that's not it.
A-ha! The "Back and forth chair.
" Yes! Oh, no, no, no.
That's not it Move it, Einie! The redcoats are coming! DOC: Verne! My name's Ben Jr.
! You can call me Benny, Jack! I'm your father, Vernie! Not Ben Franklin! But I'm nothing like you! (SCREECHING) (BELL RINGING) (METAL CRACKING) (SKIDDING) That fake dad of mine won't find me up there! (SKIDDING) Holy Houdini! Verne's vanished into thin air! Whoa! (CRASHING) Vernie! Verne! Verne, where are you? Help me! My son fell from the top of Independence Hall! It's the old statehouse, not Independence Hall.
Although "Independence" does have a nice ring to it.
Don't you get it? It's my little boy I'm talking about.
My son! My own flesh and blood! He might be hurt! Wow! He really cares.
He must be my real dad after all.
Dad! Daddy! Up here! Not now, Vernie! I'm looking for Vernie! Vernie! Whoa! Verne, don't fall again! Dad! Help! Hang on, Vernie! I'm not planning on lettin' go.
DOC: Don't worry, son.
I'm here.
Everything's gonna be okie-ma-nokie.
Ahh! DOC: Immediate assistance requested! Sorry I got you into this, Dad.
But I sure am glad you love me and you came to get me! Vernie, I love you, no matter what sort of mess you've gotten me into.
(CLOTH RIPPING) Somebody call the fire department! The what? Now see here, you rabble-rousers.
There's a tax for hanging on that clock! Einie, we gotta do something! Woof! Great idea! DOC: Vernie, if we don't get out of this one alive, I just want you to know For your birthday, I was planning on fabricating your own personal hoverboard.
Whoa, Dad! Way cool! Thanks! I just wish we had it right now! (SNAPPING) (YELLING) I love you, Vernie! (ALL GASPING) There's a tax on disappearing as well! I was never so happy to see a train arrive on time! Marty, Einie, I'd like to introduce you to my son, Verne Newton Brown.
Welcome back, squirt.
Woof! Now, there's only one problem left to solve.
We've got to make Ben Franklin do his kite experiment, and discover the true nature of electricity.
Dad, how are you gonna pull that off? Ben's gotta fly his kite in a lightning storm.
MARTY: Yeah, Doc! And there's not a cloud in the sky.
DOC: Maybe not now DOC: Keep stoking that furnace, Marty! Vernie, commence precipitation.
Now, for the thunder.
Hit it, Einie! Woof! Woof! (DRUM BANGING) (CRYING OUT) (THUDDING) A rock A rock? That's it! I'll call it the "The rocking seat!" (DRUM BANGING) Excellent, the storm is waxing! Now, where's my spare kite? Be a shame to catch yourself idle, I always say! Ah, Mr.
Franklin's kite, right on schedule.
Time for the pièce de résistance.
Lightning! Doc, what is this thing, anyway? A Hauksbee's influence machine, Marty.
Invented in 1706 by Francis Hauksbee, this device is able to produce great quantities of static electricity by introducing air into a vacuum.
Oh, yeah, that's what I thought.
Picked it up last week at a flea market.
When we get back to the future, I'm gonna need some mousse.
Now, Marty! Charge it! (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) FRANKLIN: The doors of wisdom are never shut.
Ha! I was right! The negative charge of the lightning was attracted to the positive charge in the metal key! (LAUGHING) I was right! (FIRE CRACKLING) Mumsy, this is the penultimate chair left in the house.
(WOOD SPLINTERING) Not to worry, Jules, the chocolate souffle is almost done.
(POWER TURNING ON) (GASPS) And something tells me your father and brother will be back in time to enjoy it.
Mom, can I have the last piece of chocolate pie? It's a souffle, you sub-stupid sibling You may have my portion, dearest for real, true blue brother.
Thanks, Jules! And don't forget It's trash night! (BEEPING) (WATER BUBBLING) (GASPS) Jumpin' gigawatts! I'm on! I, uh, was merely doing my laundry.
Speaking of laundry Ever notice how socks sometimes stick together in the clothes basket? That's called static electricity.
How does it happen? Let's start from the beginning.
Access video encyclopedia, section "S," for static electricity.
(VIDEO REWINDING) AUTOMATED VOICE: Section "S.
" Entry, static electricity.
DOC: To understand static electricity, it's best if we begin with the basics.
Behold, the atom.
Only a tiny particle, but the basis of all matter.
Inside the center, or nucleus, of each atom are positively-charged particles called protons.
Orbiting these protons are negatively-charged particles called electrons.
Opposite charges attract, and in this case, they hold the atom together.
When socks rub against each other in the dryer, negative electrons rub off one sock onto the other.
Now, they attract each other, and perhaps go on to get married and have little baby socks.
To generate your own static electricity, simply rub an ordinary balloon in your hair.
The rubber balloon holds the extra electrons it's picking up.
This stronger negative charge attracts the other more positively-charged balloon.
Opposite charges attract! (DOC HUMMING) (WATCH ALARM BUZZING) (GASPS) Great Scott! My allotted time is up.
I have to look my best, you know.
I'm meeting Clara for dinner.
See you in the future.
(HUMMING) (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) (FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLING) (KNOCKING ON GLASS) Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Heh! Hey, I bet Franklin got a real charge out of discovering electricity! (LAUGHING) What are you starin' at? Hey, why don't you make like a tree, and go fly a kite! (CRASHING) Oof!
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