Back to the Future (1991) s02e06 Episode Script

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do, Was play my guitar and sing So take me away, I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time Greetings race fans, Dr.
Emmett L.
"Turbobooster" Brown here at the controls, my patent applied for ELB Life On The Edge Facsimulator.
I created this ultra-realistic video game to help develop hand-eye coordination on a level equal to actual experience.
ANNOUNCER: And the winner is, Doc Brown! (CROWD CHEERING) The local arcade wanted to buy this entire setup.
But then we had a little run-in with that establishment.
Unbeknownst to Clara and me, our son, Verne, had turned into a video zombie.
CLARA: Vernie, I found some extra rubber bands for your papers Vernie? Woof.
CLARA: Einstein, what are you doing folding Verne's newspapers? Woof.
But this paper route is his responsibility.
Where is that little whippersnapper? DOC: Telephone! I'll retrieve it.
Ow! Oh! Mwhello? Hah! Hello? You've reached the residence of Dr.
Emmett L Brown, where's that kid of yours? He was supposed to mow my lawn a month ago and now I can't find my wife! I'm over here, Jorg.
Somewhere near the Oh! Fish pond.
I'll send him right over, Mr.
Johannsen! Yumpin' Yigawatts! Emmett, have you seen Verne? Hail, brave warrior.
Hail and well met.
You are indeed a true champion.
After fifty bucks in quarters, I should hope so.
Welcome to Pectoria, land of strength, bravery VERNE: And you, almighty master, the very merchandisable BraveLord.
You got that right, bud.
But I, Demon Monstrux, shall conquer Pectoria, turn its citizens into my zombie slaves, and force them all to eat brussels sprouts.
(IN UNISON) Ugh! I hate brussels sprouts.
Beware, brave warrior, for Monstrux has the power to turn ordinary objects into evil beings that do his bidding.
Look, I know how to play already.
Let's kick some Monstrux behind.
VERNE: The Burning Demon of Deathly Doom! Ugh! You're extinguished! Augh! The Boiling Bucket of Killer Goop! You got a leak, buddy! VERNE: Righteouiosity.
This game is mine and mine all alone! Let's go, kid.
Closin' time.
A-ha! So now we meet face to face, Demon Monstrux! To this day you are the greatest challenger I have met! VERNE: Prepare for your greatest battle, which shall be your last, batso! Alas, young warrior, you have failed What a rip-off! Somebody get the manager! VERNE: Uh, let me guess.
My dinner's getting cold? Aw, man, grounded for a whole month! Verne's gonna miss four more games! The parents feel complete withdrawal is Verne's only hope of breaking his video addiction.
Ahhh! The little punk's gonna go bonkers.
You, mortals! I command that you bring BraveLord's video plaything from yon arcade to my very dungeon.
Bring the game here? That's nuts.
As you might say no way, Jose! Hey, c'mon, Jules.
I'll do your chores for a month.
Marty, ya can have my baseball card collection! (CHUCKLES) If you think you can buy us off, you're right! You connect this receiver to the family aerial, and I'll network this transmitter to the control panel of the arcade amusement.
Thus teleporting Verne's mindless game to the television monitor in his bedroom.
(TITTERING) Couldn't we just buy him a deck of cards? (VIDEO GAME BEEPING) Hey, kid, think fast.
JIMMY: My frozen yogurt! Sorry, punk.
Guess I froze you out.
BIFF JR.
: Hey! Free play! Just my luck.
Don't you worry, little Jimmy.
I'll get that hoodlum.
(PHONE RINGING) (CAT YOWLS) What? LEO: Mr.
Tannen, this is Leo from Super Mega Arcade World.
Listen, if this is about that broken toilet No, no.
It's your son.
LEO: He's bullying the other children, cutting in line, and abusing the batting cage equipment.
BIFF: So what's the problem? Would you please have a word with him, sir? Yeah, what? BIFF: This is your old man.
BIFF JR.
: What'a ya want? I'm busy.
Hey, so am I! About all this trouble at the arcade, keep up the good work.
BIFF JR.
: I told ya, I'm busy (JITTERING) Don't use that tone with me or I'll wash your mouth out with toothpaste! Greetings, mortal slave.
Hey, you're drippin' blue ooze on my Early American throw rug, bat-head! I am Demon Monstrux, ruler of all that is evil.
No way.
A ruler is only twelve inches.
(ROARING) (STUTTERING) And you're much bigger than that.
There! Phew! Whoa! Now, now, Vernie, perhaps if you watch a little Mother Goose you won't be so grim.
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) Where'd ya go, Pop? Hail, brave warrior.
BraveLord! Hail and well built! BOTH: Ahhh! (SQUEAKING) Ohhh! In reality-land my mini muscles are so very much pumped up.
Help! Is anybody out there? What goofy cartoon is (GASPS) Look! (DOC READING) (DOC READING) (LAUGHING) DOC: And now, Back to the Future! Oh! What's going on, Vernie? Pops! You're stuck in my video game! And the Burning Demon of Deathly Doom is trying to do you in! Fear not, innocent traveler in the land of certain obliteration! I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you know how to play this crazy game! Ahhh! Now get me out of here! I keep tellin' Doc to get cable.
Martin, the transmitter seems to have malfunctioned.
Did the receiver work? (SCREAMING) (GRUNTING) (CRASHING) A little too well.
Oh! Nice move, Vernie.
Thanks, Pop! Hey, BraveLord, help me out here.
Not now, Verne-meister, I am lubing up my massive pecs.
You video idiot, that's Kooky Glue! Ugh, I am the silly one now.
(CRASHES) Zounds! Do you know who that is? It ain't the Little Mermaid.
Ohhh! I love this magazine.
O great purple master of me, you seemed a little jittery so I got you the caffeine-free cola.
Impudent slave you make a better door than window! (GROWLING) Hey, I'm sorry about all those cigarette burns.
(GROWLING) (WHIMPERING) (SCREAMING) Sweetie, you've changed.
Have I? By all that is massive in Pectoria, who is this new pumped up muscle dude? It's a mirror, ya outta control pituitary case.
Oh, look who's talking, missy, no puny-muscle-girly-man boy.
Assistance requested, son! Assistance delivered, Pop! Gadzooks! Father's in the game.
The video bomber.
CLARA: Verne Newton Brown! Being grounded does not mean having a party in your room! Clara? Emmett? I am not here of my own accord, Clara-boo.
(GASPS) Heavens to betsy ross! Greetings, female lady.
I wish to impress you with my pumped up pecs.
Get real.
Unfortunately, we have allowed him to do just that.
Ahhh! Zap that thing, Mom! Use the button! Mmm, C sharp.
Yeah, but Pop's gonna "B flat" unless I save him.
You are not to play this game.
I'll take care of your father.
But how are we gonna get him out? I'll just unplug the stupid thing.
No! Interrupting the electronic signal might cause father to Pixilate into oblivion! Argh! We must go to the arcade and throw the video transfer device into reverse.
It is our only hope of rescuing Father.
Let us proceed! Ha! Take that, you, you, you, nasty thingies! Ha! Not bad for a mom.
Hey, Jules, how long will it take to reverse your video device? Just make it quick so I can play a game before we go home.
Verne-ster, notice how my ultra-whopping leg muscles ripple as I walk.
(YOWLING) Ah! Return to your creator, you evil spawn of nasty darkness! (MEOWING) Get off me, ya big video wimp! (STUTTERING) But the flying furry ball of doom is about to attack! VERNE: Ugh! It's a kitty cat, ya mega-dope.
Hey, you two, knock it off! When ya gonna learn to get along? This avocado fridge and hazelnut stove been clashin' ever since I bought 'em.
(GROWLING) (CRASHING) This mortal looks familiar.
Uh, that's my kid, O Master.
He has done much damage to my machine with a baseball bat.
Yeah, he's got a good swing.
(PHONE RINGING) What? BIFF JR.
: I need a lift home, get your rump down here! What a co-inky-dink.
We was just talkin' about him and here he is on the phone.
Revenge shall be mine! (WHIMPERING) (SCREAMING) It's just around this corner, bud and mighty warrior.
Verne-meister, you hang out at such a girly-man puny place such as this? (PEOPLE SCREAMING) You should see it on a Friday night.
I fear that my video transfer device has released more than just BraveLord into reality.
Uh, yeah? Like who? Monstrux, that's who! A evil, slimy bat who's gonna take over Hill Valley and make us zombie slaves who eat brussels sprouts! Ugh! I hate brussels sprouts.
Hail, my hero! This is a task for the mighty BraveLord.
No way, Verne-ster.
Before I battle the demon Monstrux I must wear my magic belt.
This ain't a game, it's reality, and we don't have any magic belts.
If that is the case, hail and well hasta la vista, Verne-arooni! What's the deal? BraveLord's supposed to be the fearless hero! Sorry, squirt, but well, what'a ya expect for a quarter? I guess it's up to me.
Prepare a path for all that is good and great.
Ahhh! Ow! Gadzooks! What, no diet? Ahhh! VERNE: Brussels sprouts, yuck! So, Monstrux, we meet again! Yes, brave warrior but this encounter shall be our last.
Whoo-hoo! Take that! Whew.
Is it hot in here or is it me? Great Scott! I hope Jules' device isn't overheating the video game! Hmm.
And what would that mean? Ohhh, ohhh, take that! It would mean you can lean down and kiss your little Emmett goodbye! (GASPS) Many quarters have entered the coin slot while I have waited to turn you into my brussels sprout eating slave.
But Great Sultan of Slime, what about us? You bore me! I prefer the challenge of Little Mr.
Highscore.
Be gone! Ohhh! Likewise, obnoxious runt! Ahhh! (GRUNTS) Now it's just you and me, little interloper in a funny hat! (GRUNTING) (ROARING) No way! This stuff's bad for my teeth! To this day, you are still my greatest challenger, the real power behind BraveLord! But where is your brave BraveLord now? Here I am! Look out, Vernie-kins! BraveLord! You came back! You saved my life! Not for long, measly mortal! JULES: The switch, brother! Throw the switch! You forget, Monstrux! I'm not just a mortal.
I'm a paperboy, too! (GRUNTS) No! Well done, Verne-meist (STUTTERING) I gotta make a pit stop.
Emmett! You're back! Wait'll the owner of this dump hears from my lawyer.
Successfully disconnected! Let's go home, brother.
Farewell, O Verne-meister.
What do I expect for a quarter? Only the coolest hero ever.
(ROOSTER CROWING) (ALARM CLOCK RINGING) VERNE: Rise and shine! Sorry, Mr.
Johannsen! I'll fix that after I mow your lawn! (SQUEAKING) Ahhh! Sorry, Vernie.
I'm still a bit jumpy from my video vacation to Pectoria.
That's okay, Pop.
Where's Mom? I was hopin' she could drive me to The arcade? Nah, soccer practice.
There's more to life than video games! There's more to life than video games! Besides, we don't open for another (GRUNTS) Prepare a path for all that is good and great! Hail, brave warrior.
Hail and well met.
Now let's kick some Monstrux behind! I gotcha.
So, Verne cured himself and now we simply play at home.
Uh, engage Airplane Pilot Flight Facsimulation, Level One.
By playing in our own domicile instead of using a microwave feed there's no possibility of transmission foul-ups due to interference.
Of course communication via microwaves is modern technology.
Way back when, people used to communicate long distances by beating drums and blowing giant horns, even yodeling.
(GASPS) What's this? A computer glitch has ordered the program to dog fight simulation mode.
While I teach this simulator a lesson in aeronautics, let's access Video Encyclopedia Section "L" for long distance communication.
FEMALE VOICE: Section "L.
" Entry, Long Distance Communication.
DOC: You can make your own long distance communication device with everyday items found around the house.
You'll need two plastic drinking cups, a small nail and about fifty feet of string.
Kite string works great.
First, using the nail poke a small hole in the bottom of each cup.
Tie one end of the kite string through the hole in one cup and the other end through the hole in the other cup.
Now head out into the field for experiment execution.
Stretch the kite string so that it is taut.
But not too taut.
This is important.
There should be no slack in the string.
Very good.
Now you're ready to activate your very own telephone.
You may speak in a normal tone and your assistant will hear you loud and clear.
This is a test of the Video Encyclopedia Experiments In Science System.
This is only a test.
Believe it or not the energy in the sound of your voice bounces off the bottom of the cup and it causes it to move back and forth.
This movement pushes and pulls the string which in turn causes the bottom of the other cup to move back and forth in an identical manner to the first cup.
The motion then pushes the air molecules into words and you've created your very own plastic cup telephone.
Hello, Clara! (SCRAMBLED VOICE) I had some minor difficulty executing a barrel roll and ended up in a pickle.
Will you bring a bandage, please? (SCRAMBLED VOICE) It is possible this portion of the Facsimulation is a bit too Realistic, so I'm going back to the drawing board and I'll see you in the future.