Back to the Future (1991) s02e07 Episode Script

73406 - The Money Tree

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do Was play my guitar and sing So take me away I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time Greetings, friends! Dr.
Emmett L, Brown here, deep in the tropical rain forest.
I'm here researching the depletion of these trees.
If you haven't heard, many of them are being cut down to make room for farms! (THUDDING) LOGGER: Timber! (MONKEY SCREECHING) Besides this banana plant, there are numerous species that could be lost, most of which are valuable to our environment.
(SPLAT) My son Jules once developed a tree of a very different type of value.
As I recall, it all began one day as he was walking home from school Move it or lose it! Whoa! Halt, you hooligans! (TIRES SCREECHING) Hey, you should be more careful.
Yeah, Jules, I coulda dented my bike! Brother, your reckless disregard for pedestrians has destroyed my hovercase.
Good thing you don't got any friends, we might've hit somebody and done some major damage.
Hey, Verne, Jackson's havin' a swim party, and we're invited! Mega-cool! A heated pool! Come on, Jule.
Yay! (SPLASHING WATER) (SQUEALING IN EXCITEMENT) Might I join in the frivolity? Whoa! Check with Jackson, it's his swimming pool.
No brainiacs allowed! Besides, Brown You're already all wet! (LAUGHING) Bummer.
You mean about your brother? Nah.
My snorkel's got a hole in it.
Three seconds left, and the game is tied.
McFly throws up a prayer from 40 feet.
It takes a lucky bounce, and lands in the pot! Uh Uh, basket! Martin, watch it! My multi-motif-leaf tree is very sensitive.
Your what? As a pathetic substitute for the fun a boy my age should be experiencing, I genetically created a tree with striped and polka dot leaves.
Uh, what, no pink hearts, yellow moons, and green clovers? (CHUCKLES) Whoa! Called my bluff! Uh, but how come no friends? Martin Intelligent children are always outcasts.
Well, I never had that problem.
That is, I I mean Ow! What do I mean? (MACHINES WHIRRING) Hey, Pop, my allowance needs a boost.
I gotta buy a new snorkel.
My advice to you, Verne, is to seek post-educational employment.
Currency does not germinate on tall, woodland plants, you know.
(CRASHING) You mean, I can have the dough? Negative.
I mean, money does not grow on trees.
That's no stinkin' fair for us lazy people.
Oucha-ma-goucha! Outta my way, skunkhead.
Move your tree, sap! Verne! It took weeks to cultivate leaves that look like cheap upholstery.
Too bad you can't make leaves that look like money.
Hmm TEACHER: For our next show-and-tell, we'll hear from Jules Brown But I'll be surprised if he can top his toothbrush powered by atomic energy.
JACKSON: Hey, Brown, whatcha got there, your dirty laundry? (ALL LAUGHING) TEACHER: Duck and cover! (YELLING) (THUDDING) (ALL LAUGH) Hey, Brown Have a nice trip around the world? Maybe you should've made it in the fall.
Ha-ha! I shall continue if you have completed your mindless heckling.
ALL: (SARCASTICALLY) Ooh! Class, I proudly present the Jules Brown Money Tree! (ALL EXCLAIM) Oh, Jules Brown, you've always been my favorite student.
And come harvest time, don't forget the P.
T.
A.
is holding a fundraiser to build a new teachers' lounge.
(BELL RINGS) (CHILDREN HOLLER EXCITEDLY) (CRASHING AND CLATTERING) Class dismissed.
Hey, Brown, I'm havin' another pool party.
You want to come? Why, yes.
That sounds fun.
Since you're rich, you can bring the refreshments.
(SHOUTS) No turkey dogs! And as long as you're there, you can swim, too.
I always liked you, Jules.
Is that why you constantly pelt me with spitballs? Of course, silly.
How else could I get your attention? Buzz off, Franny! He's my wealthy friend.
I saw him first.
Did not! I was bugging him long before you, Neanderthal Noodle.
(KIDS CLAMORING) Hey, what's goin' on? Didn't you hear? Some nerd's got a money tree.
Children, children.
No shoving! There's plenty of Jules to go around.
(KIDS YELLING) Hey, bro, what gives? Not now, insipid sibling.
I am busy being popular.
Argh! And the money tree was my stinkin' idea! (DOC READING) And now Back To The Future! (PANTING) (HUFFING) How about here? Uh, too much shade.
(PUFFING) How about here? Too much sun.
(SLURPING) How about here? JULES: Now, now, brother.
Your envy is showing.
No way! Mom fixed the hole in my pants.
(GASPING) My geraniums! Wha DOC: My self-watering onion-potato patch! The onions make the potatoes' eyes water.
Jules, your money tree is becoming quite a nuisance.
His money tree? It was my idea! Very well.
As restitution, I shall give you enough money to have that gap in your teeth repaired.
Save some so you can get your nose fixed! (SHOUTING) Boys, boys Let's not let the money tree uproot our Whoa! family tree.
(TRAIN ENGINE HOOTING) Anybody who bought me Monster Train Smash-Up would be my friend for life.
How subtle.
(TRAIN ENGINE HOOTING) I wonder if it comes with this fake blood.
BOB: Hey, you freeloaders! We didn't break nothin'! (TRAIN ENGINE HOOTING) BOB: Well, stoke my boiler! You're the genius with the money tree.
I've heard all about it from my favorite little engineer, Franny.
Yes, your daughter's delightful, if you don't mind the occasional spit wad to the back of the neck.
I'm punchin' your ticket for first-class credit.
Buy now, pay later When the bills bloom.
Hey, Jules, Monster Train Smash-Up is on sale! What do ya say? Certainly.
Buy this one! Can I have this? Please? Gimme, gimme, gimme! What say we all repair to my house and play with our new toys? Nah, let's go to Jackson's, he's got a pool.
ALL: Yay! Making friends is going to be more expensive than I thought.
JULES: Franny, I can assure you that my pool party will be better than Jackson's.
We can have fun diving in a real submarine.
(CLANKING) Jules, we don't have a swimming pool.
We do now.
(GASPS) CLARA: Jules Brown, how do you expect to pay for this? JULES: I am an honored member of the "buy now, pay later" plan.
(DOC HUMMING) Oucha-ma-goucha! That's the first time a submarine sandwich ever bit back! Emmett, don't you think the money tree is going to Jules' head? No, but his latest bathtub toy is going to mine.
Besides, Jules has always been a level-headed, well-adjusted youth.
JULES: Fools! Simpletons! Stooges! I told you that this must be the largest pool in town! Tear down the neighbors' house if necessary! Who does he think he is, Richie Rich? Of course, people do change.
MARTY: Hey, Doc What? Ooh! Who invited Captain Nemo for lunch? Cool submarine! Is it nuclear? This construction is much too noisy.
Let us all go on a shopping spree.
Perhaps we should go along, just to keep this nonsensical spending under control.
Now, this is big-screen TV! And to go with it, seven VCR's.
Why seven? One for each day of the week.
(CRASHES) Whoa! I suppose there are a few educational programs worth taping.
CLARA: Emmett! Let's not get carried away.
And Mother, I thought these exquisite diamonds would go nicely with your eyes.
(SIGHS) Well Quality jewelry is always a practical investment.
We're at the home of Dr.
Emmett L.
Brown, local scientist and all-around kook And it turns out his son Jules has turned out to be a chip off the old blockhead, as it turns out (YAWING) Mommy (GROANS) Dr.
Emmett L.
Brown, a local scientist (EXCLAIMS) Hey, don't touch that round part that spins! But Channel 92's showing' an old cartoon festival, and they're leavin' in all the violent parts.
Jules, how does it feel to have invented the world's first and only money tree? Money tree? JULES: I feel humble, yet proud.
I understand, you had no friends just a short couple of weeks ago.
That's true, Tammy.
But now I am more popular than those juvenile martial arts mutations on the half-shell.
Very interesting.
Yeah, I didn't now Brown had a crush on Franny Phillips.
No, I mean that little dope's got a money tree.
Gee, I wonder if anybody else knows about this.
Martin, I've decided my money tree needs protection.
Yeah? From what, aphids? To insure the tree won't be stolen, I'm offering you ten leaves an hour.
Of course, I won't be able to pay you until the money ripens, which should be sometime tomorrow morning.
Now, allow me to demonstrate my security system.
Play act that you are, let's say, Verne, attempting to pilfer the plant.
Ah, no sweat.
(CHUCKLES) (ALARM RINGS) What! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! (CRASHING) Ooh! No sweat, but plenty of pain.
Will you accept my proposal? I'll guard the tree, but I'm not gonna marry you.
CLARA: Jules, telephone! He'll be here in two shakes of a money tree.
Oh I mean a stick! Oh, we're just all so excited! Who is it, Mother? WOMAN: (ON TV) I'm with U.
S.
A.
Hooray, and we wish to print your rags-to-riches story in our paper.
They weren't really rags so much as middle-class togs.
Say, Mr.
Brown Oh, you are a cute one! You know, I have a niece in Orlando just about your age.
Well, you'd like her.
She has that sort of, je ne sais quoi, you know.
She's a pretty little thing.
NEWSBOY: Brown turns greenback tree into gold! Makes new friends, including me! Ms.
Johnson, send Smith and Jones in here, on the double.
Sorry for the delay, but we stopped for a cream soda.
And crullers.
Have you seen today's paper? Yeah.
That Garfield cracks me up.
Every time.
I mean, the headlines.
This Brown kid could be the kingpin of an international counterfeiting racket.
(SINISTER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) (SNORING) (ROOSTER CROWING) CLARA: Rise and shine, my little millionaire! It's harvest time! Another day, another $10,000.
Ah, the moment has arrived.
Now to reap the fruits of my labor.
(SCREAMS) What's the big deal? You never seen me in my jammies before? Brother, I can't believe you would stoop so low as to pilfer my money tree! Hey, just because I'm standing here next to this big hole, with a shovel (CHUCKLES) Looks bad, doesn't it? Mother! Father! Verne stole my money tree! Goodness gracious! Galloping Galileo! Hey, I heard some noise, I checked it out, and there was the tree Gone! You liar! You crook! You thief! You punks! Hold it down.
I'm tryin' to sleep here.
You loaf! You bum! You heel! (CRASHES) DOC: What'll we do? We have got to find that tree! (SNIFFING) Hey, who better to find a tree than a dog? Here, boy, hey, follow that scent.
Uh, I I mean, dollar! (SNIFFING) Woof! He wants us to deploy the DeLorean! So long, mega-money grubbers.
(MACHINE WHIRRING) MARTY: Step on it, Doc! We got a tree to catch! (CAR ROARING) Einie, utilize the E.
L.
B.
Super-Sniffa-Snout 4,000! (SNIFFING) (BARKS) DOC: Straight on till Morning Avenue.
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING) Oh, Emmett, that nice Officer Phelps is trying to get our attention.
Floor it, baby! Ordinarily, I would never be a scofflaw.
But this is an emergency! (BARKS) MARTY: It's Biff Tanneries tow truck! CLARA: And there's our tree.
Zounds! It appears to be stuck! What the BIFF: I'll fix his little wet goose! I gotcha, skunkhead.
Brother, I thought you were angry with me.
Yeah, but if you weren't around, who would I call skunkhead? Well, looky here.
Low bridge, dead ahead! (BOTH SCREAM) Jules, let go! (SCREAMING) Oh, boys, I'm so glad you're safe! I can't believe we let you risk your lives just for money.
DOC: Well put, Clara.
I'm afraid this has all been my fault.
I let myself get carried away by greed.
DOC: Now to turn myself in for exceeding the speed limit and resisting arrest.
Let's just hope Officer Phelps goes easy on first-time offenders.
Let's just hope he doesn't remember I T.
P.
'd his yard last summer.
Well, sir, here's the keys to your brand new, custom-built, extra deluxe, Super-Wina-Lumbago.
What a dump! It's only got two TV's.
SMITH: (OVER MIC) Federal agents! Throw down your hands and put up the tree Uh, uh, you know, what I mean.
Time to make like a tree, and split.
Huh? What, what? What's happenin' to my money? It's like we say, cheaters never prosper Crime does not pay.
Huh? Oh, yeah Crime does not pay.
Crime does not pay.
Right.
But you will, Tannen.
This van was special ordered! We get to keep it! Two TV's! Ya-hoo! (KIDS SHOUTING) (WATER SPLASHING) JACKSON: Hey, Verne, Franny, come on in! Not you, Brainiac.
I had to return that train set! (WATER SPLASHES) Hey, Jackson Buzz off and dry up! Franny, I would understand if you wished to join in the frivolity.
No way! That Jackson's a creep.
I don't care if you're broke, you're a good guy.
And kinda cute.
Gag me with a snorkel! Let's go over to my dad's toy store.
He's got the new Monster Train Smash-Up.
Fake blood included! Cool! Brother, she only invited me.
Hey, Jackson I was just kiddin' about that whole "buzz off and dry up" thing.
(YELLING) As a true scientist, I realize money can't possibly grow on trees.
However, I did ask Jules to cultivate another, and Voila! Hopefully, my homemade chlorophyll and enzyme booster will prolong leaf life.
(SNEEZES AND COUGHS) Seems I may be slightly allergic to payola pollen.
(COUGHING) You see, at the incredible rate things grow here in the rain forest, this new money tree can make Clara and my golden years (SNEEZES) Then again, maybe not.
Of course, money does not grow on trees, unless you can convince someone to take leaves for currency.
But fruit grows on trees, as well as nuts, dates, and flowers.
You can start growing your own tree right inside your very own home.
Access Video Encyclopedia Section T, for tree.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Section T, Entry, Tree.
DOC: Let's review our inventory.
You'll need a piece of fruit with a large pit.
An avocado works quite well.
Also some toothpicks, and a glass jar filled almost to the top with good old H20.
Water.
First, you'll need to remove the pit from the fruit.
Remember, if you're too young to use a knife, be sure to get assistance from an adult.
Insert three or four toothpicks into the pit.
You can also use nails.
Now, rest the pit on the rim of the jar.
Remember, one of the first rules of horticulture is that in order for a seed to germinate, or grow, it must be wet.
This is the beginning of your tree.
After a few days, you'll see that the pit has sprouted root tendrils.
The question is, without any soil, how can this be? Plants need four things to grow, sunlight, carbon-dioxide, water, and soil minerals.
The avocado pit, like all seeds, contains not only an embryonic plant, but also stored food.
In addition, the pit draws upon the minerals in the water, and when combined with carbon dioxide, actually creates sugar.
After two weeks, there's no stopping your tree.
That is, unless it runs out of minerals, or in non-scientific terms, food.
Hence, it's time to do some transplanting.
Cut the bottom off a clear liter soda bottle.
This will serve as your pot.
Add some soil, place the pit in the center, and then carefully place more soil all around.
It's as easy as that.
In a few years, you'll have your very own avocado tree, and you'll be able to enjoy an endless supply of guacamole.
Ole! Ah, one more info-bit! If you happen to live here in the rain forest, don't forget about that accelerated growth rate.
Ah! (CRASHES) I should have known better than to toss that banana peel there.
See you in the future.

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