Back to the Future (1991) s02e08 Episode Script
73410 - A Verne by Any Other Name
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do Was play my guitar and sing So take me away I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time Oh, Bonjour, fellow Americans.
Emmett L.
Brown here, standing under the Eiffel Tower, which was erected for the Paris Exposition, in 1889.
Smile, Clara! (CAMERA CLICKS) I love everything about France.
The cuisine, the artworks, and especially the thousands of other American tourists.
Verne and Marty took a little trip here by themselves about, oh, one hundred years ago.
Of course, the reason for that trip was something that happened to Verne at school.
(RINGING) Perfect.
No dweebs in sight.
Hey, Verne the worm! Where do you think you're going? Yeah, hey, Verne the worm! Where do you think you're going? To the zoo to visit your family! Ah! So long, blockheads! Ah! (BOTH LAUGHING) Nice going, Laverne! Yeah.
(SNORTING) Nice going, Laverne! The name is Worm.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Verne.
BOTH: Verne, Verne, he's a worm! His face makes my stomach turn! Ugh! I never did like study hall.
(YELLING) Ta da! (SCREAMS) Not corn for dinner again! No, Vernie, your mother and I have just harvested our new super-growth-mondo-corn.
Not just any kind of corn, but popcorn! Placing a kernel inside the E.
L.
B.
Quick-O-Popper.
Ugh.
Oops.
Will give us popcorn everyone is sure to love.
Who cares? I hate my stinking name.
But, Vernie, you were named after the great writer, Jules Vernie, er, Verne.
He was the father of science fiction.
"Science fiction"? He gave his kid a dopier name than mine.
I wanted to name you after my uncle, but your father won the coin toss.
Couldn't you flip again? (ALARM BLARING) Ah! It's ready.
(EXPLODING) Popping Pythagoras! I neglected to calculate the expansion factor! We're going to need an awful lot of butter, Clara! CLARA: Coming right up! Ah, freshly popped corn smells delightful.
(MUNCHING) Unlike my name, which stinks.
VERNE: So I figure the only way for me to get a new name Is to go back in time and convince Jules Verne to change his name? Of course! He's gotta know Jules Verne is totally geek-zoid.
So why am I here? Aside from the fact that Doc would ground you for life if he caught you drivin' the car again.
Doi, you speak French fluidly.
No, I'm taking a French class and I'm flunking.
Although, I wouldn't mind hanging out with some of those foxy French frauleins.
MARTY: Well, either this is the right place, or you're not the only one named after Jules Verne.
Oui? Eh, we who? Us? Ah, Americans.
I love your simple-mindedness.
(LAUGHS) Oh, he speaks English.
Mondo-osity! Mega-cool! I speak English, but, ah, you two obviously do not.
Uh-uh, we represent Nerdy Names Anonymous.
Yeah, we'll help you pick out a new name, like Hammer, or Raphael, or Bart Simpson.
There is nothing wrong with my name.
Jules Verne, c'est la worm, his name makes my stomach turn.
Hey, I didn't say it.
Oui, but a Frenchman does not slap a child.
Garcon, garcon, check! Voila that'll be two francs, monsieur Bill.
My name is not Bill.
In that case, that'll be two bills, eh, monsieur Frank.
My name is not Frank, it is monsieur Verne! What a doofus name.
Why don'tcha change it? Ow! Ow! Hey, I didn't say it.
Non, that was for my onion soup.
It was tres cold.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Julie, you're a writer.
You want a name that says writer, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Dr.
Seuss.
Hey, what's wrong with Dr.
Seuss? Nothing.
But you, monsieur, make a very ugly can-can dancer.
I call it, "Portrait of Luke Perry"! What do you think? I think if you two pests don't stop bothering me, I am calling the gendarmes! I've had enough of that guy, he deserves a goofball name.
But I don't.
Don't tell me, tell your folks.
Twitchin' idea! Activate plan B.
MARTY: Hey! Hey! Hey! What you doing, you little twerp? Hey, that's back when Clara and Doc lived in the Wild West! Mom said she wanted to name me after her uncle and I'm gonna make sure she does.
Looky! There's our house! Couldn't you wait till we landed? (SCREAMING) (SCREAMS) I can't believe I'm still falling! I'll meet you in town after I stash the car! Roger dodger! That's a good name.
MARTY: Looks like my goose is cooked.
(CRASH) (COUGHING) (SCREAMS) Emmett, I just got Jules to sleep.
(WAILING) One tiny adjustment and the auto-infant-cleanser will be ready! Eh! Oh! Oh! Oh ya! (STRUGGLING) Make that two tiny adjustments.
(WAILING) (SINGING) Hush, little baby, don't you cry Papa's new invention will pacify (KNOCK ON DOOR) No, thank you, son, we already receive the newspaper.
(WAILING) But I admire a kid with get up-and-go I got it! Uh, him! Yo, big bro, what do you know? Goo goo ga ga lots.
My baby! Thank you, young man.
Oh, no harm done, thanks to this lad here, uh What's your name? Verne, but I'm gonna change it.
Well, Verne, Jules has ceased caterwauling.
I do believe he likes you.
Yeah.
(BURP) But he sure got a funny way of showin' it.
Mondo gross-out! Verne, should we let your mother and father know where you are? They know exactly where I am.
CLARA: Verne, with the baby almost due, and your being such a big help with Jules, maybe you could stay with us a couple of days, if it's all right with your parents.
Believe me, if it's okay with you, it's okie-ma-dokie with them.
"Okie-ma-dokie"? I like that.
(SCREAMING) (CRASH) Where is Davy Crockett when you need him? Ooh.
Have you ever witnessed a magic lantern show, Verne? Huh-uh.
These are glass etchings we can project right on the wall.
This is baby Jules.
Pretty soon, Jules will have a new brother or sister.
If it's a girl, she'll be called Florence, for Florence Nightingale.
If it's a boy, he'll be named after After who? C'mon, c'mon.
After who, who, who, who, who, who? After my uncle.
Yes! Uncle Jehosephat.
No! Made a name for himself at county fairs, leaping from hot air balloons into buckets of H2O.
Yes, he was known as Jumping Jehosephat.
But didn't we agree that a male child would be named after the famous astronomer, Galileo? Galileo? Ugh! It gets worse.
Galileo? And what'll we call him for short? Gal? I thought Leo.
Hey, um, Leo.
These names are mega-old-fashioned! How about Max? Or Markey? Or Bond, James Bond? I am not naming my son after a man who wore striped bloomers in public! At least Galileo knew enough about gravity not to jump out of a flying vehicle into a cup of water for a lousy buck! Magic? Kareem? Ice Cube? Get out of my house, you, you big eyebrowed slave to science! Gladly! You can tell Mrs.
What's-Her-Name I've gone for a stroll in my steam- powered snowshoes! (SCREAMS) Hmm, this ain't gonna be easy! Isn't.
(SCREAMS) Ah! Would you quit screamin'? You're scarin' my bear.
That's all right, Ellie Mae, he didn't mean no harm, girl.
Eh, what is this place, the local pet shop? I'd never sell these critters.
I just fix 'em up and send 'em back into the wilderness.
Ah.
Oh, that's wild.
Eh, well, anyway, I gotta meet a friend in town.
You'll never find your way with that compass, but I'm headin' into town in a bit.
You're welcome to tag along.
Eh, whatever you say, Dr.
Dolittle.
No, I do a lot.
Eh, why, just this morning, I put braces on Buck the beaver, eh, fit Benny the bald eagle with a toupee.
Uh, this afternoon, I'm removing some hats from Dave the deer's rack.
Uh, say, long as you're here, maybe you could help out.
Well, sure, as long as I don't have to get my hands dirty.
Great, then you can give a bath to Robert.
Robert who? WINDY: Robert the rattlesnake.
Ah! Couldn't he just take a shower? CLARA: Verne, I'm worried about Emmett.
I wish I hadn't been so harsh.
Ah, he'll come back.
Yes, but I don't think he'll get here in time.
In time? In time for what? For the baby.
(SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) Hush, Verne.
That won't help.
It's gonna be up to you now.
You've got to get to town and bring back the medical doctor.
You can count on me, Mom, uh, ma'am! Just make sure I don't get born before I get back! Oh, man! How am I gonna get to town if I can barely cross the stinkin' yard? All right! What, no motor? I can't pump this thing all the way to town, but if I let Mom down, I'll never be born.
Brainstorm! (CRASHING AND CLANGING) (MOTOR RATTLING) (SCREAMS) Oh, thanks.
I'd have been home by now, but the steam from my snowshoes condensed and caused an ice storm around my ankles.
Is Clara still mad at me? She's about to have the baby! Galloping Galileo! Not that I want to name him that, of course.
(RUMBLING) What's that rumbling mean? I'm afraid it means I shouldn't have shouted quite so loud.
Avalanche! (SCREAMING) (BOTH SCREAMING) Now, who the Well, hello, Emmett! Hiya, Windy.
Verne, I'd like you to meet Windjammer Diefendorfer.
Windjammer Diefendorfer! And I thought my name was silly.
Dr.
Diefendorfer, you've got to come quickly! Clara's in labor! This goofball's the doctor? Been fixin' up folks in these parts since long before you were born.
Oh, I'm afraid we'll never make it back in time! How could I be such a wuss and a dope? All aboard! Non-stop flight to Doc Brown's house! Kid, you're a genius! It runs in my family! Thanks, Ellie Mae.
Hey, uh, give Windy a bear hug for me.
(LAUGHS) (DOOR OPENING) Emmett, thank goodness! And Dr.
Diefendorfer, oh, I had just about given up hope! (GROANS) I bet I'm the first kid to ever be at his own birth! Oh, the suspense is unbearable! What can possibly be the delay? They've only been in there three minutes.
(BABY CRYING) Emmett, come on in and see your baby boy! You're a cool guy, even if you do have a goofy name! Well? What do you think? That's the best lookin' baby I've ever seen! So, uh, what are you gonna call him? JeJehosephat? We've decided to name him after a very brave young man.
Verne! Really? That means our boys are named Jules and Verne! I like it! Yeah, so do I! Thanks, Marty.
Hey, no sweat, worm, oh, uh, Verne.
(LAUGHING) Hey! Hey! Hey, I'm kiddin'.
Verne's a terrific name.
DOC: Jehosephat! Of course, Jehosephat's a good name, too.
You think they changed their minds? Pop, when you screamed Jehosephat, were you callin' me? No, I just hit my thumb with a hammer.
Verne, time for your bath! However, your mother is calling you.
CLARA: Verne! And doesn't it sound awesome! As we saw, Paris was the stomping grounds of the great Jules Verne, who used the wonderful possibilities of science as the basis for his classic novels.
Why, it's even possible this was the very spot where monsieur Verne imagined people living under the ocean.
And traveling the world in a submarine, years before it was possible.
Access video encyclopedia section S for submarine.
You can build a type of submarine that works according to the same principle as a real one.
You'll need a two-liter plastic bottle, partially filled with water.
A pen cap.
And a little bit of modeling clay.
Put just enough clay around the tip and the opening of the pen cap to make it float with only the tip above the surface of the water.
Then screw the bottle top on tightly.
When you squeeze the bottle, the submarine will submerge.
Take your hand away and it will surface again.
There is a bubble of air in the pen cap just as a submarine is filled with air.
When you squeeze the bottle, you are forcing the bubble into a smaller space.
This allows more water into the pen cap, making it heavier, so it sinks.
Just as a submarine takes in water to submerge and pushes the water back out to rise again.
This principle is called displacement.
The water in the submarine is displaced, or pushed out.
And to displace any doubts that Jules Verne was a brilliant writer, I'm going to read to you in its entirety, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, by Jules Verne.
"Chapter one, "A Shifting Reef.
"The year, 1866" (BEEPS) "Dear Emmett, you are out of time.
"Love, Clara.
" Oh, well, I guess you'll have to read it yourselves.
Check it out at your local library and I'll see you in the future.
Emmett L.
Brown here, standing under the Eiffel Tower, which was erected for the Paris Exposition, in 1889.
Smile, Clara! (CAMERA CLICKS) I love everything about France.
The cuisine, the artworks, and especially the thousands of other American tourists.
Verne and Marty took a little trip here by themselves about, oh, one hundred years ago.
Of course, the reason for that trip was something that happened to Verne at school.
(RINGING) Perfect.
No dweebs in sight.
Hey, Verne the worm! Where do you think you're going? Yeah, hey, Verne the worm! Where do you think you're going? To the zoo to visit your family! Ah! So long, blockheads! Ah! (BOTH LAUGHING) Nice going, Laverne! Yeah.
(SNORTING) Nice going, Laverne! The name is Worm.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Verne.
BOTH: Verne, Verne, he's a worm! His face makes my stomach turn! Ugh! I never did like study hall.
(YELLING) Ta da! (SCREAMS) Not corn for dinner again! No, Vernie, your mother and I have just harvested our new super-growth-mondo-corn.
Not just any kind of corn, but popcorn! Placing a kernel inside the E.
L.
B.
Quick-O-Popper.
Ugh.
Oops.
Will give us popcorn everyone is sure to love.
Who cares? I hate my stinking name.
But, Vernie, you were named after the great writer, Jules Vernie, er, Verne.
He was the father of science fiction.
"Science fiction"? He gave his kid a dopier name than mine.
I wanted to name you after my uncle, but your father won the coin toss.
Couldn't you flip again? (ALARM BLARING) Ah! It's ready.
(EXPLODING) Popping Pythagoras! I neglected to calculate the expansion factor! We're going to need an awful lot of butter, Clara! CLARA: Coming right up! Ah, freshly popped corn smells delightful.
(MUNCHING) Unlike my name, which stinks.
VERNE: So I figure the only way for me to get a new name Is to go back in time and convince Jules Verne to change his name? Of course! He's gotta know Jules Verne is totally geek-zoid.
So why am I here? Aside from the fact that Doc would ground you for life if he caught you drivin' the car again.
Doi, you speak French fluidly.
No, I'm taking a French class and I'm flunking.
Although, I wouldn't mind hanging out with some of those foxy French frauleins.
MARTY: Well, either this is the right place, or you're not the only one named after Jules Verne.
Oui? Eh, we who? Us? Ah, Americans.
I love your simple-mindedness.
(LAUGHS) Oh, he speaks English.
Mondo-osity! Mega-cool! I speak English, but, ah, you two obviously do not.
Uh-uh, we represent Nerdy Names Anonymous.
Yeah, we'll help you pick out a new name, like Hammer, or Raphael, or Bart Simpson.
There is nothing wrong with my name.
Jules Verne, c'est la worm, his name makes my stomach turn.
Hey, I didn't say it.
Oui, but a Frenchman does not slap a child.
Garcon, garcon, check! Voila that'll be two francs, monsieur Bill.
My name is not Bill.
In that case, that'll be two bills, eh, monsieur Frank.
My name is not Frank, it is monsieur Verne! What a doofus name.
Why don'tcha change it? Ow! Ow! Hey, I didn't say it.
Non, that was for my onion soup.
It was tres cold.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Julie, you're a writer.
You want a name that says writer, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Dr.
Seuss.
Hey, what's wrong with Dr.
Seuss? Nothing.
But you, monsieur, make a very ugly can-can dancer.
I call it, "Portrait of Luke Perry"! What do you think? I think if you two pests don't stop bothering me, I am calling the gendarmes! I've had enough of that guy, he deserves a goofball name.
But I don't.
Don't tell me, tell your folks.
Twitchin' idea! Activate plan B.
MARTY: Hey! Hey! Hey! What you doing, you little twerp? Hey, that's back when Clara and Doc lived in the Wild West! Mom said she wanted to name me after her uncle and I'm gonna make sure she does.
Looky! There's our house! Couldn't you wait till we landed? (SCREAMING) (SCREAMS) I can't believe I'm still falling! I'll meet you in town after I stash the car! Roger dodger! That's a good name.
MARTY: Looks like my goose is cooked.
(CRASH) (COUGHING) (SCREAMS) Emmett, I just got Jules to sleep.
(WAILING) One tiny adjustment and the auto-infant-cleanser will be ready! Eh! Oh! Oh! Oh ya! (STRUGGLING) Make that two tiny adjustments.
(WAILING) (SINGING) Hush, little baby, don't you cry Papa's new invention will pacify (KNOCK ON DOOR) No, thank you, son, we already receive the newspaper.
(WAILING) But I admire a kid with get up-and-go I got it! Uh, him! Yo, big bro, what do you know? Goo goo ga ga lots.
My baby! Thank you, young man.
Oh, no harm done, thanks to this lad here, uh What's your name? Verne, but I'm gonna change it.
Well, Verne, Jules has ceased caterwauling.
I do believe he likes you.
Yeah.
(BURP) But he sure got a funny way of showin' it.
Mondo gross-out! Verne, should we let your mother and father know where you are? They know exactly where I am.
CLARA: Verne, with the baby almost due, and your being such a big help with Jules, maybe you could stay with us a couple of days, if it's all right with your parents.
Believe me, if it's okay with you, it's okie-ma-dokie with them.
"Okie-ma-dokie"? I like that.
(SCREAMING) (CRASH) Where is Davy Crockett when you need him? Ooh.
Have you ever witnessed a magic lantern show, Verne? Huh-uh.
These are glass etchings we can project right on the wall.
This is baby Jules.
Pretty soon, Jules will have a new brother or sister.
If it's a girl, she'll be called Florence, for Florence Nightingale.
If it's a boy, he'll be named after After who? C'mon, c'mon.
After who, who, who, who, who, who? After my uncle.
Yes! Uncle Jehosephat.
No! Made a name for himself at county fairs, leaping from hot air balloons into buckets of H2O.
Yes, he was known as Jumping Jehosephat.
But didn't we agree that a male child would be named after the famous astronomer, Galileo? Galileo? Ugh! It gets worse.
Galileo? And what'll we call him for short? Gal? I thought Leo.
Hey, um, Leo.
These names are mega-old-fashioned! How about Max? Or Markey? Or Bond, James Bond? I am not naming my son after a man who wore striped bloomers in public! At least Galileo knew enough about gravity not to jump out of a flying vehicle into a cup of water for a lousy buck! Magic? Kareem? Ice Cube? Get out of my house, you, you big eyebrowed slave to science! Gladly! You can tell Mrs.
What's-Her-Name I've gone for a stroll in my steam- powered snowshoes! (SCREAMS) Hmm, this ain't gonna be easy! Isn't.
(SCREAMS) Ah! Would you quit screamin'? You're scarin' my bear.
That's all right, Ellie Mae, he didn't mean no harm, girl.
Eh, what is this place, the local pet shop? I'd never sell these critters.
I just fix 'em up and send 'em back into the wilderness.
Ah.
Oh, that's wild.
Eh, well, anyway, I gotta meet a friend in town.
You'll never find your way with that compass, but I'm headin' into town in a bit.
You're welcome to tag along.
Eh, whatever you say, Dr.
Dolittle.
No, I do a lot.
Eh, why, just this morning, I put braces on Buck the beaver, eh, fit Benny the bald eagle with a toupee.
Uh, this afternoon, I'm removing some hats from Dave the deer's rack.
Uh, say, long as you're here, maybe you could help out.
Well, sure, as long as I don't have to get my hands dirty.
Great, then you can give a bath to Robert.
Robert who? WINDY: Robert the rattlesnake.
Ah! Couldn't he just take a shower? CLARA: Verne, I'm worried about Emmett.
I wish I hadn't been so harsh.
Ah, he'll come back.
Yes, but I don't think he'll get here in time.
In time? In time for what? For the baby.
(SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) Hush, Verne.
That won't help.
It's gonna be up to you now.
You've got to get to town and bring back the medical doctor.
You can count on me, Mom, uh, ma'am! Just make sure I don't get born before I get back! Oh, man! How am I gonna get to town if I can barely cross the stinkin' yard? All right! What, no motor? I can't pump this thing all the way to town, but if I let Mom down, I'll never be born.
Brainstorm! (CRASHING AND CLANGING) (MOTOR RATTLING) (SCREAMS) Oh, thanks.
I'd have been home by now, but the steam from my snowshoes condensed and caused an ice storm around my ankles.
Is Clara still mad at me? She's about to have the baby! Galloping Galileo! Not that I want to name him that, of course.
(RUMBLING) What's that rumbling mean? I'm afraid it means I shouldn't have shouted quite so loud.
Avalanche! (SCREAMING) (BOTH SCREAMING) Now, who the Well, hello, Emmett! Hiya, Windy.
Verne, I'd like you to meet Windjammer Diefendorfer.
Windjammer Diefendorfer! And I thought my name was silly.
Dr.
Diefendorfer, you've got to come quickly! Clara's in labor! This goofball's the doctor? Been fixin' up folks in these parts since long before you were born.
Oh, I'm afraid we'll never make it back in time! How could I be such a wuss and a dope? All aboard! Non-stop flight to Doc Brown's house! Kid, you're a genius! It runs in my family! Thanks, Ellie Mae.
Hey, uh, give Windy a bear hug for me.
(LAUGHS) (DOOR OPENING) Emmett, thank goodness! And Dr.
Diefendorfer, oh, I had just about given up hope! (GROANS) I bet I'm the first kid to ever be at his own birth! Oh, the suspense is unbearable! What can possibly be the delay? They've only been in there three minutes.
(BABY CRYING) Emmett, come on in and see your baby boy! You're a cool guy, even if you do have a goofy name! Well? What do you think? That's the best lookin' baby I've ever seen! So, uh, what are you gonna call him? JeJehosephat? We've decided to name him after a very brave young man.
Verne! Really? That means our boys are named Jules and Verne! I like it! Yeah, so do I! Thanks, Marty.
Hey, no sweat, worm, oh, uh, Verne.
(LAUGHING) Hey! Hey! Hey, I'm kiddin'.
Verne's a terrific name.
DOC: Jehosephat! Of course, Jehosephat's a good name, too.
You think they changed their minds? Pop, when you screamed Jehosephat, were you callin' me? No, I just hit my thumb with a hammer.
Verne, time for your bath! However, your mother is calling you.
CLARA: Verne! And doesn't it sound awesome! As we saw, Paris was the stomping grounds of the great Jules Verne, who used the wonderful possibilities of science as the basis for his classic novels.
Why, it's even possible this was the very spot where monsieur Verne imagined people living under the ocean.
And traveling the world in a submarine, years before it was possible.
Access video encyclopedia section S for submarine.
You can build a type of submarine that works according to the same principle as a real one.
You'll need a two-liter plastic bottle, partially filled with water.
A pen cap.
And a little bit of modeling clay.
Put just enough clay around the tip and the opening of the pen cap to make it float with only the tip above the surface of the water.
Then screw the bottle top on tightly.
When you squeeze the bottle, the submarine will submerge.
Take your hand away and it will surface again.
There is a bubble of air in the pen cap just as a submarine is filled with air.
When you squeeze the bottle, you are forcing the bubble into a smaller space.
This allows more water into the pen cap, making it heavier, so it sinks.
Just as a submarine takes in water to submerge and pushes the water back out to rise again.
This principle is called displacement.
The water in the submarine is displaced, or pushed out.
And to displace any doubts that Jules Verne was a brilliant writer, I'm going to read to you in its entirety, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, by Jules Verne.
"Chapter one, "A Shifting Reef.
"The year, 1866" (BEEPS) "Dear Emmett, you are out of time.
"Love, Clara.
" Oh, well, I guess you'll have to read it yourselves.
Check it out at your local library and I'll see you in the future.