Barons (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

Shh! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! He's got a gun! Stay off my property! Bloody hippies.
Hey, Choc, where's your board? Oh, you better go back and get it, mate.
Oh, shit! Watch out for bullets! How was it? Bruce's aim's getting better.
He almost killed your brother this time.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Be your funeral if he did.
Well, he's your brother.
Better get going.
Got kids to teach.
- You know, trace? - Mm? If you'd have been my teacher at school, I woulda stayed a lot longer.
Mm! Hey, is there something else on your mind? Hmm Just wondering how late you're gonna make me for work today.
I thought that was it.
10 minutes? Alright! Ah! Sheesh, big wetsuit order.
Yeah, well, it's not all for delivery today.
- Hey, snap? - Hey? - Snap? - Yeah? We've gotta stop running the business out the back of my van.
It's not just the shaggin' wagon.
We've still got this place.
What, the bare feet wetsuit hovel? Yeah, staying salty since 1969.
Oh, no! Ugh! We need more space.
Yeah, we don't have the dough.
I've got a place in mind.
Seriously, mate, this is This is all good.
This is great.
Also .
You could live there.
Like live there live there? Like shaggin'- mansion live there.
Are you taking the piss? I have a figure in my head, Bruce.
I'm just waiting to see if you can Figure out what it is.
- 10.
- A month? A week.
Sorry, mate, it's probably a bit hard reading my mind with this thing on, huh? Mm.
Take it.
Take the damn thing.
Right, let's try it again.
Ok, 30 a month's my final offer.
Um 20 a month and we're done.
- Deal? - Yeah.
Now you can stop shooting at us every time we wanna go for a surf, eh? Just this paddock.
Thank you, Bruce.
Mate, there is no way you'll be able to do it.
Alright, look at us.
Look, we've got Oh, no, no.
Hey! Oh, looking good, boys.
Looking very good.
Tracy, you're my sister! Am I?! Not today she's not.
- Ladies' lounge is next door.
- Leave it out, Harry.
- The hair's confusing.
- Alright, alright.
We are all here for the same reason, mate.
We're just grabbing a couple of beers and waiting upon the whims of the totalitarian state.
Yeah, well, while you're waiting, no bare feet, snap.
Barry, you know the rules.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I've been thinking - they don't take married men.
I didn't know you thought that way about me, Danielle.
Get off it.
But if it stopped you from going to Vietnam, I'd do it.
18 September.
You like the sound of commies on the doorstep, do you? Oh, you don't even know where Vietnam is.
Bet your girlfriend does.
I was born in surry hills, mate.
I'm Chinese, anyway.
- It's all yellow fever, isn't it? - Say that again, Bruce.
Maybe make that your last, Bruce, eh? Alright, shush! I'm fine.
- I'm trying to listen.
- Yeah.
4 October.
How many more? Two.
Just two.
16 July.
23 April.
Are we good? Yeah.
No? Mm? Reginald Terrance Thompson.
Nine pounds six.
Born 23 April 1951.
Oh, shit, Reggie! Hey! What's she doing? Let's get royally pissed.
Y-e-e-e-e-e-o! Barry! Double shots! Now! Go, Dani! Whoo! Three, two, go! Go on! Come on! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Bruce, Bruce.
Yeah, he's pushing.
Keep pushing.
Whoo! Go, Reggie! Vietnam .
Is a lie! No, snap.
No, snap! No, snap! Oh, shit! Shit! Snap! Snap! Snapper? Hey, mate? - Snap.
- Snap! - Hey! Snap.
- Hey! Snapper! - He's ok, everyone! - Snapper! Have a beer.
He's alive! Have a beer.
He just needs a beer! Would you marry me already? Is that a yes? Of course I will! Yes?! Really?! Yes! Oh, god! - Oh, bear, shut the fuck up! - Bear, bear, bear! Bear, mate, please! Come on.
Let's go.
Has Reggie showed yet? Uh no, not yet.
Now she shows.
You got something to say to me? You told her already? - Sorry.
- That's ok.
It was too late to tell you last night, so You have to marry the poorest man you could find? - I'm right here.
- It's ok, we don't need money.
- There'll be money.
- See? There'll be money.
Have you spoken to my brother about this yet? Tonight.
I can't wait.
So, where's the ring? Winnie we'll get a ring.
- You don't even have a ring yet? - Thanks.
We don't need a ring, auntie.
You cool with that? Well, she made her choice.
Which means he can't afford one.
- Yeah! - Nah, congrats, mate.
What? Live and let live now, is it? Yeah.
- Thanks, mate.
- Yeah, yeah, no worries.
I'll get a good dress, and a real one later.
If you love someone, you .
Set them free.
- You are a child of the universe.
- Why don't you piss off, Dani? Yeah, there's my boy.
I wouldn't mention the beach there.
Don't worry.
I've got it all planned out.
Like a bad smell, always wafting back in.
You grow up every time I do, Jules.
The old man found you a bloke yet? You're a bit old for me, don't you think? Get out! I just got engaged.
Oh, poor girl! She's doing alright.
What's with the form guide? I've been seeing a jockey.
Don't tell dad.
I wouldn't worry - he likes people who look up to him.
Oh, hey, I saw one of your wetsuits in switchfoot magazine.
It's a cool shot.
You read surf mags? It's full of half-naked hot guys, what's not to like? Ah.
Dilly-dallying, Julia? Mm.
- Off you go.
- Mm-hm.
Yeah, she's getting cheeky.
Quick brain.
You've gotta keep her busy.
I need to find her a husband.
How many of those, uh Rubber vests you getting per yard? - I've told snapper.
- Mm.
I taught you better than that.
Wasted fabric is lost income.
We make enough dough to get by.
Isn't that the dream? Wasn't your dream when you worked for me.
Maybe I've changed.
There's not enough saltwater change that busy brain of yours.
Come, I have your rubber waiting.
Ahh! There he is! Do you want a drink? George, get Reggie a drink.
Um It's alright.
I'll get one in a minute.
I can't stand this.
Someone talk.
Have you changed your mind? I don't wanna spend the rest of my free time with my hand down someone else's shitter.
- Language.
- Sorry, mum.
So, you're quittin'? What's the harm in letting him enjoy himself till his papers come? I mean forever.
Reggie! Reg, your mates can drop out and bloody slack off and go surfing all day and still get a second chance.
You are gonna have to work twice as hard.
- It's not like that - Twice as hard to earn people's respect, and it is always gonna be like that.
Well, then why bother? Oh, for god's sake! I'm going to the bar.
Let's hope the army can knock some sense into him.
Oh, the army! He needs to grow up.
Then don't send him to the bloody war! It's alright, mum.
It's alright.
You think this is what your mother would've wanted for you? Frank, I know this has come a bit out of the blue - You think? - .
But we would like your blessing.
- And I'd like you to get a real job.
- Dad! It's ok.
Look, truth is, Frank, I've worked since I was 14, and this is the best job I've ever had.
- You call that work? - We're building something.
A bloody reputation is what I can see.
Dad, please just be happy! We're getting married.
Well, you don't have my blessing.
And I'm not paying for it.
What's next, a chastity belt? What did you say? We'd like your blessing, but if you can't give it, Tracy and I are getting married anyway because she's the smartest person I've ever met and you don't get to control her anymore.
How dare you?! Dad! Hey! Hey.
You marry him .
You're dead to me.
All passengers arriving from Indonesia must report to the customs desk with anything to declare.
Ah! Here he goes! Took your bloody time! - What's happening? - Good to see you, brother.
- Is the car here? - Yeah, yeah.
I've missed you, dickhead.
Argh! Good to see you! Hunter! Hey, dude! - What's up? - Not bad, man.
Get up there.
Ooh! Ah! - See, you want it too much, man.
- That sun's in my eyes.
Oh, ok.
Kick her in the guts now, hunter! The what? Who? - Start her up! Start the engine up.
- Oh, right, gotcha.
Choke it! Yeah.
Yes! There we go.
- Let it go.
Let it go.
- Come on.
Oh! - You serious? - You see that? - Are you serious? - Ha-ha! Let's get travelling, mate.
- Let's do this.
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
- Whoo! Whoo! What's the problem? Mate, i can barely pay you as it is.
- Well, I'll take a pay cut.
- What, you don't wanna get paid? Deal.
Shake on it.
Make me a partner, snap.
Give me a percentage of the profits instead of a wage that I hardly get anyway.
You can focus on designing.
I'll work out a proper business plan.
Mate, I've already got a business plan.
Bear, what's the one rule of working for me, mate? You never get the sack here if you're late because the surf's good.
Bear didn't come to work at all last week.
- Eh.
- You know it was pumping, trot.
- Yeah.
- At least think about it.
Hey, you shoulda gone out, actually.
Put in the time, maybe one day you'll be as good as Dani.
Oh, is it happy hour yet? - Oh! - What?! Hey, hey, hey! How are ya?! Look at you, mate.
Oh, no way! Oh! Oh, Dani.
Oh, shit! News spreads fast! We just got here.
I was the last to know you guys were coming.
No, that looks like it was me.
Oh, cheers.
Wouldn't be a surprise if everyone knew, mate.
- There we go.
- Thank you.
No, obviously not.
Hey, newbie! Hey, Dani! You're still calling me that? You know, I'd really prefer that you You're a long way from home, mate.
No, I just came with the guys from Bali.
You know why I'm not I can't believe you guys are actually here! Yeah, these boys had tickets back to the states, but I told them the break down here was worth it, so they cashed them in.
Well, seemed like a good time to come to Australia.
Right, snap? Your timing is perfect.
- You're perfect.
- Oh, so they tell me.
Bali reunion! Hey, sharpie, are we in your film? Just wait and see, Danielle.
Alright, here we go! Ya-ha! Ooh! Uluwatu, yes! Thank you, snap, for taking us there.
- It wasn't a secret, snap.
- Buddy was there.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Here we go! Oh, shit.
I completely forgot.
So much for coming straight home.
- I am sorry.
- It's ok.
Hey, buddy, sharpie, newbie, this is Tracy.
His fiancee! Hey, get down! I found these two outside buried.
Hey, guys, it's not enough that you shaved his head? Hey, choc, you checked yourself for ticks? Get your sister a beer before you get comfy.
How you doin'? Nice to meet you.
- Thanks, dim.
- Aye, good man.
Oh, this is nice.
Nice! Nice! There, um I'm pretty sure that's me.
Oh, it's hard to tell, mate.
Could be anyone.
It's me! - Oh, you're kidding yourself, mate.
- Hey, you weren't in Bali.
Don't even try it.
You guys - Hey, Reggie! - Oh, yeah, Reggie! Exhibitionist Reggie! Totally accidental.
Keep 'em on! Reggie! My footy shorts weren't up for the task.
You've usually got 'em down for that, don't you? Oh, ladies present, mate.
Ladies present.
- You love it, don't you, snap? - Yeah, Dani! Margaux! - Who's that? - Margaux.
Go, go, go! Oh, yeah, snap.
Whoo! Yeah, snapper! You look pretty good there, Dani.
Ah! Oi, Dani! Who wants a beer? Hey-hey-hey! There I am! That has to be the only wave you caught.
I got more than one wave! - Oi.
- Are we out of beer? Not yet.
Tragedy averted.
You right? Yeah.
- Ah! - Are you serious? You guys do not realise how lucky you are.
You guys get proper waves here.
Hollow, fast.
It's wild.
It's like I've always said - windys just works.
I've never heard you say that, snap.
I've said it.
I think I might have heard you say that once or twice.
- Ok, ok.
I'm not shooting the shit.
- Let's go! Come on, hunter! Come on! - I haven't finished my beer.
- Alright.
- See you out there.
- Mm-hm.
Hey, where's your board, trot? The waves are pumping! I've seen buddy's.
Nice cavity.
Pretty big stash, was it? Yeah! Sumatra heads, remember? Why?! Why are you always talking about money, mate? We could be talking about the waves.
Because this is bloody stupid.
Are you judging me? You know, I just don't understand.
I don't understand why you'd risk any of us going to jail when we're on the edge of being a proper business.
You know, I could've got us that money, snap.
We don't need any more money, trotter.
How many times are we gonna go over this, mate? We don't need more.
Well, if it was such a good idea, why didn't you tell me? Oh, mate, give it a rest.
You knew.
You knew how I got the cashflow to start bare feet.
You knew what goes on in Bali.
What did you think was happening when buddy showed up? This is bullshit! Bullshit?! I'll tell you what's fuckin' bullshit - you lecturing me when bare feet is my company.
It is my company, trotter.
Do you understand? It's stupid.
It's not sustainable, snap.
Mate .
I've sustained you so far, haven't I? Huh? Trot? What are you doing? In Bali the water's warm, right? Yeah, it looked amazing.
Right? Same in queensland and new south wales, for a really good part of the year.
But the shorts we have are hopeless.
They're either too short, so your balls hang out and get rubbed red raw Thank you for that image.
Or they drag you down or fall off completely.
So .
We make shorts especially for surfing.
High quality, good price point.
They're purpose-made, but, really, we'd be selling an idea of Bali, paradise, of summers that never end.
Is this for bare feet? No snapper.
- Thanks, snap.
- You're welcome, winnie.
- Here you go, mate.
- Thanks, snapper.
Pay day.
Ohh! You want some colour for hippy dole bludgers? Exactly.
You got money for this bill? I will do once we sell them.
Well, until then.
The length? - Looks good.
- Thank you.
Whoo! Yes! I wanna show you something.
What are you smiling about? Uh it's how light gets refracted through water.
Like, it splits.
So, that's you, the wave, always moving.
And you're the sunshine.
I like it.
It's beautiful, trace.
- Tracy, this is Jules.
- Jules, this is Tracy.
- Hi, Jules.
- Have you got my fabric? Yeah, what other idiot wants those colours? - Ok.
- Complicated work.
No, I have already gone out on a limb for you.
Yes, yes, you know all the best piece makers.
We can't do these.
What do I get out of it? Well, come to visit and we'll make sure you meet every surfer we know.
Good start.
Cash for the girls would be better.
200 bucks.
You're joking.
Ok, go on then.
If you can come up with 300 bucks, I'll find another 150.
From where? I've got a piggybank.
- You'd do that? - Yeah.
But I want 10% of the profit.
Oh, you've got someone else putting up 150 right now? 2%.
Of the whole business.
And I need it in writing.
"This is to declare that Jules zemenik hereby from this day "owns 2% of the lightwave surf company.
" Mm.
Want my 150 back too.
- Yeah, well, that won't fit on there.
- Mm.
Tracy! I'll ask my dad for the money for the wedding, ok? We keep it simple and use the rest on the shorts.
Oh, he won't go for that.
He won't know.
And it'll make winnie happy.
- Trust me.
- Good luck.
Ooh! Oh, these are great.
- Ok, I'll just go get some orange.
- Back in a second.
I got my call-up papers today.
Don't go.
Well, what if it's the right thing to do? It's just a bunch of straights wanting to run the world their way.
Or it's protecting the life we have.
This life .
It's not just about surfing.
It's about saying no to all the old shit.
And they hate us for it because this is all we need.
It's not your war, reg.
What if my dad's right? "If you don't fight for country, you don't deserve it"? You don't really believe that? He does.
You don't need to prove yourself to anyone.
Especially not to me.
Hello! Thank you for this.
That's ok.
I still don't see why we couldn't have had a regular buck's party, but, um You mean a night of patriarchal bullshit with strippers and ritual humiliation? - Yes, yes, that would be very cool.
- Mm.
- Mm.
- I'm all about tradition.
You remember the day we met trot? Oh, no, no! - Black jeans - Ugh .
Ripple sole desert boots.
That's right.
How could I forget? Do you remember that board he pulled out of his car? You and Dani were not kind.
Not kind?! What are you talking about? He could barely stand on the damn thing! Well, he picked it up pretty quick, though.
Yes, he did.
Stole you right from under me, didn't he? There was always something else with you, snap.
Surfing mostly, but don't get me started on the rest.
Trot didn't steal me.
He just doesn't cheat on me.
- We can't do this anymore.
- Yep.
Ok? Sure.
No way! What?! Margaux! Oh, my god! Hello! Oh, my god! - Oh! Mwah! Mwah! - Mwah! Oh, my god! - It is so good to see you.
- So good to see you! What?! - How did you know? - About what? Trotter's wedding.
Trotter's getting married? Ok.
- Can I get you a drink, darl'? - Yes, please.
Mwah! Mm! It shall be done.
- Sharpie.
- Ok, sweetie! Hey .
Is there anything i should know about Bali? You've heard all the stories hundreds of times before.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, my god! You really have the most beautiful dance moves.
I really mean it.
I mean, what did the vietnamese ever do to us? He knows my thoughts.
Yeah, I'm not going.
Ok! Ok.
Well, then we definitely need more beer.
Good man.
Yeah, I can't do it.
- I'm gonna leave tonight.
- Where are you going? Well, best you don't know, then my dad won't be able to get it out of you.
You're doing the right thing.
Ahh! So, hippy, you mind if I, uh - Go for it.
- Yeah.
Hey, man, I've gotta ask.
Look why do you guys all keep ragging on me about not being in Bali? Mate, it's it's because we like you.
Like, it just keeps going on and on.
Oi! Sorry.
- Jesus.
- Sorry.
The thing is .
I paid for the tickets to get down here, and we don't have the money to get back to the states.
Your folks are rich, right? Why does everybody think that? Ok, yeah, they're They're pretty rich.
They're very rich.
But, I mean, I don't wanna owe them.
Tough life.
Dude, I really like what you guys are doing down here - starting a business with your friends, partying, surfing, making money.
If I could just have some of this, I'd be pretty happy.
Oh, Newport, there is not as much money in it as you think.
You and I could make money.
- We could.
- Is that right? Reggie.
Dani, his dad.
Reg! It's your dad, get the fuck up! You've gotta go.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Out! Go! Um Reg was supposed to, uh Report for duty yesterday.
- Where is he? - I haven't seen him.
Well, we both know that's That's bullshit, Dani.
Reg! - It's his life, mr Thompson.
- Jesus.
Do you people have any idea what he is up against? Getting killed in a stupid war that nobody believes in? He could go to prison for this! It's better than him coming home in a box! Well, you tell him when you see him that, if he does run, don't bother coming back.
Yeah, well, that's fine because he's already got a family.
Shit, what's she doing here? Jules Oh, oh, oh.
Watch it.
Hey! What are you doing here, Jules? Been looking for you two all over town.
Just followed the music.
So, you're getting hitched without me? Yeah, we're just keeping it small.
Well, you should've invited me because I have the best wedding present of anyone.
Look, I'll stash these out of the way.
Oh, is that the thanks I get for coming all the way out here? - Yeah, thank you, Jules.
- You promised me surfers.
I did.
Um come and have a drink.
I might regret this.
- You look nice, trace.
- Thank you.
Dani warned me i should never trust a surfer.
Surfing is always more important than anything else.
That's what they say.
But not you.
Why are you here? Well .
I think I came down here to .
Try and talk you out of it.
I do love Tracy.
I hope so.
- You just married her.
- Yeah.
But you think I'm doing the wrong thing.
What I think doesn't matter anymore.
Uh ma Sorry.
Hey trace? Hey, trace? Trace.
Trace, we were just talking.
- Yeah.
- Trace? - Don't treat me like an idiot.
- No, we're friends, Tracy.
- I thought you met for just one night.
- Hey - Or was that a lie too? - It was a big night and we bonded.
Everyone did 'cause we were high.
You know how intense that can be.
Yeah, so I see.
Trace You came back from Bali and .
And asked me to marry you practically straightaway.
I know.
And now I can all I can think is that something happened with margaux and you were feeling guilty.
Well, that's not true! Tracy.
I never even wanted to get married, trot.
You were the one pushing for it this whole time! Yeah! Come on.
We've made it this far.
Whatever it is you want to know, you ask me now and I promise I will tell you the truth.
I promise.
Did you fuck that woman in Bali? No.
I'm in this, trot.
As far as a person can be.
Hey, me too.
Me too.
Get off! Shit! Yeah, that's right, here we go.
I can feed you if you want.
No, no, no, I'm not your horse.
Get off! Hey, trotter, mate, come on, let's do the speeches! Get this party back on track, trot! - Yeah, yeah, alright, coming.
- Ow! - Good party, trot.
- Yeah, not bad, eh? - Shame Frank couldn't make it.
- He'll come round.
It'll just take some time.
You know, why'd he give us the money if he wasn't even gonna show up? What money? Mate! Trotter, come on! Come on! Ok.
- Let's go! Speeches! - Oh, jeez.
- Alright.
Alright, everybody! A bit of shush! Um Look, I'm not very good at speeches, so I promise I'll keep this very quick.
- That's a relief.
- Shut up, Dani, please.
Now, not many of you would know this, but, when I first met trotter, I saved his life.
It's true.
He goes out into these waves that were just way beyond his skill level, because that's who he is, you know? He's, um He's brave.
You're gutsy.
Aww! I mean, look at this woman, would you? I mean, if that is not the sign of a man that doesn't know his limitations, I don't know what is! Come on, am I crazy? Go, trace! Oh, mate, um I don't know what else to say.
- Uh - That's a first.
I love ya.
Aww! Tracy, trotter .
May your lives be filled with happiness, love and a whole lotta risk.
- Yeah! - Yeah, right! - To trace and trot! - Trace and trot! - Alright, your turn.
- I know.
- Come on.
- Alright, alright.
Thank you, snap.
Seriously I am touched.
- Ah - Genuinely.
And you're never gonna hear this again, so, thank you for saving my life.
I owe you.
And thank you all for being here, because it means the world to us.
I can't believe it, trace.
You're the love of my life.
And you made me the happiest man in the world today.
So, here's to you for taking a risk on me.
And .
Speaking of risk .
I guess now is a good time to talk about something that Tracy and I have been working on together, with our friend Jules here.
- She's single, fellas.
- But fussy.
Oh, ballsy too.
Look, you all know we don't have a lotta cash.
You can say that again.
Which is why we wanna share our new venture here with you all today, because, god knows, you mob are more than just friends to us.
You're customers.
But, seriously, Tracy and I, we're building a future now, and we wanna share it with you.
My goodness, what is this? The company is called lightwave .
And we're making board shorts.
Designed and made especially for surfers and inspired by summers that never end.
Trust me, guys .
They work.
- I'll take a pair, trot.
- Hey! There's one.
- Yeah, trot.
- Yeah? Who else wants one? Oi, dim, you want a pair? Win, you can have two.
You can have two.
Go hand one out.
Who else wants a pair? Yeah? Uh excuse me.
Mate! Don't you dare.
Don't you dare 'mate' me! So, is this the grand plan, eh? - You flog a rival business - at your own wedding? - That's classy, mate.
- It wasn't planned, snap.
Jesus Christ.
- Look, I wasn't thinking of you.
- Clearly you weren't.
What about loyalty, huh? What about friendship? Leave it, snap! He doesn't know, does he? Know what? I didn't know he was gonna do that.
You told me that you needed that money for your wedding, which was a pretty ripe thing to do to me, Tracy.
You owed us that money.
What?! Trot's done everything for you, and what's he ever got in return? - Huh? - Tracy? We needed the money, trot! You know my dad would've never said yes! Hey, you know what? You two deserve each other.
Guess you never told her about Bali, huh? Argh! - Just leave them.
Just wait.
- No! No! Snap, no! Trace! Argh! Let him go! Snap! Hey, hey, hey! Snap! Snap! Stop! You'll get your money back! Come on.
What do you think? What do you think? - It's gotta be a six.
- That's a nine, you numb-nut.
It's a surf comp, trace.
I don't need your husband's permission.
You can't own the beach, snap.
Fuckin' leech.
Go on, mate, show them who you really are.
We're trying to sell summer in the middle of winter.
I worked my arse off while you were away.
I was only away to fix the mess you put us in.
You and snap were headed for a fall a long time ago, trace was just dumb enough to get herself in the middle of it.
I surf better than you, old man.
Ha! That's it Welcome to the inaugural bare feet classic!
Next Episode