Baywatch (1989) s01e15 Episode Script

We Need A Vacation

1 - Some people stand in the darkness afraid to step into the light some people need to help somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight don't you worry it's gonna be all right 'cause I'm always ready I won't let you out of my sight I'll be ready I'll be ready never you fear no, don't you fear I'll be ready forever and always I'm always here 'Cause I'm always ready I won't let you out of my sight I'll be ready I'll be ready never you fear no, don't you fear I'll be ready forever and always I'm always here -Hey, hey, hey, you're late.
You were supposed to relieve me an hour ago.
Sorry, man.
Lola needed me.
I got a meeting waiting for me back at the loft.
I've got to be at court at three.
I've got a business lunch in between.
I don't even have time to go back to headquarters to change.
And you're sorry? Look, I'm holding down two jobs and a marriage.
You know what happens if I don't maintain a strict schedule? Chaos.
What's wrong with chaos? Spent the best times of my life there.
-We've talked a lot about how to save a person who's drowning.
Now, saving a life does not end when you pull a person out of the water.
What you do on the sand is just as important.
Today we're gonna practice what we learned in cpr.
So I'm gonna need a volunteer.
Anybody? Hobie, what about you? Come on.
Lie down.
Now I'm gonna go over the steps one by one.
First of all, you're gonna tilt his head back.
You're gonna open the airway.
And then check for breathing.
Okay, now you're gonna pinch his nose shut, you're gonna lean forward, and you're gonna blow air into his mouth.
Got it? Now let me show you again.
-All right, I'm out of here.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Not unless you're in Mexico.
I'm giving Eddie a surfing lesson.
-Where are you going? Come here.
Come on.
-What's the problem? Hey, guys, I got something on my Fisher line.
I don't know what it is.
-Let's check it out.
-Well, hot damn.
That's a genuine antique.
Back in world war ii, the Navy used string these babies all along the coast.
That's a classic.
-That's a bomb.
-What, this little firecracker? No, nothing to worry about.
As long as that spike's sticking up, nothing can set her off.
I'll just go defuse it.
-You don't want to do that.
Ah, I think you're right.
-Of course I'm right.
This is a job for trained professionals, not a couple lifeguards.
I'll call the bomb squad.
They'll come out and cordon off the beach.
-Go on, call for backup.
-Are you okay? -What a kiss.
-It was just mouth-to-mouth.
-In your dreams.
-Craig, John.
-And you wanted the bomb squad to have all the fun.
-Are you okay? Oh, man.
I need a vacation.
-Great, we leave headquarters at six.
-Remember to file the incident reports no later than five o'clock.
-Right.
-I'm counting on you, Mitch, to keep things running smoothly while I'm gone.
-I thought you were driving your son to the airport, not all the way to the university of Washington.
-Sorry, it's just that with my youngest finally leaving the nest, I feel like I'm embarking on a whole new life.
This is the first leg of it could be a very, very exciting journey.
-Drive safely.
-Yeah.
Oh.
-Don't forget my sombrero.
It is gonna look so great on the wall.
-Fine.
-And a poncho would be nice.
And if you find any turquoise earrings, would you buy those? -Shauni, I'm going to a beach, not a shopping mall.
-So, you ready? -Yeah, you bet.
-Okay, here's my shopping list.
Be sure and haggle.
-Okay, fine.
-See you Monday.
Uh-huh.
Nice lipstick.
Hey, John, Eddie.
Come on, let's hit the road.
I got all your stuff.
Oh, this is the first time I've ever seen this thing without a tarp over it.
-Looks like it should have six feet of dirt and a headstone over it.
-These things were built to run forever.
-Especially if you spend every weekend working on it.
-It was my first car.
It's a labor of love.
Come on, let's go.
-Where? -Vacation.
Mexico.
Surfing.
I told you I needed a vacation.
That was an invitation this morning, wasn't it? -What about your schedule? -I pushed my court date back a week.
-Well, let's go.
-All right.
Okay, guys, prepare yourselves for an unforgettable experience.
Isn't this great? A nice, quiet night, a roaring fireplace, a friendly game of checkers between father and son.
You know, this is what family life is all about.
-Die, big dog.
King me.
Norman Rockwell would be ashamed of you.
Who's he? -He makes calendars.
Evening, Mitch.
Captain.
-I was just driving around and I figured why not stop by and say hello to Mitch.
Hello, Mitch.
I forgot what a nice place you've got here.
Spacious.
Rustic.
Homey.
-Well, you're welcome to see it from the inside.
Come on in.
-Thanks.
-Is this gonna be a long visit? -I had kind of an incident with my wife, Mitch.
-An incident? -She threw me out.
-I'll go get a sleeping bag and some blankets out of the garage.
-I got back from the airport, walked in the house, and there were my bags.
Look how they're bulging.
She has no idea how to pack a suitcase.
I must have showed her a hundred times how to do it right.
-Want some coffee? Something to eat? You know what she said? Now that Ted's finally gone, our "sham of a marriage" is over.
In 27 years, I never heard her use the word "sham".
I picked up some new vocabulary, too, when Gayle left me.
-You light? -Dark.
-Looks like I got here just in time, Mitch.
You've got a lot to learn about checkers.
And I'm just the man to teach you.
-I told you we shouldn't leave the highway.
Now we're lost.
-There's only one thing to do.
We turn around and we go back and we pick up the highway.
-No.
-We're not lost, man.
-Are we? -No.
Well, then show me where we are on the map.
Some places you have to find without a map.
How would that serve you? -I'll tell you what, if you guys ever have an experience as intense as the one I had with Ines, you'll be able to find your way back, too.
-Ines who? Woo hoo hoo! Was I lying? This is incredible.
-Hey, guys, we gotta loop or surf, let's go.
- It doesn't get any better than this here we are making our way not looking back with our game on track chasing our worries away hey, hey, hey these are the good old days ready, set, and going for it here we go making our dreams leaving the ground with our heads in the clouds who knows where this will lead hey, hey, hey these are the good old days it doesn't matter what they say we can't hear them from this wave it only matters what we do they can't take these memories from you these are the good old days these are the good old days these are the good old days -Satisfied? -Paradise.
-I could get used to this.
Hey, hey, hey! -Hey, come back! -Come here, stop! -Hey, hey! -Hey.
-At least they left our clothes.
Where were the car keys? -Car keys? -You drove last.
Where were the car keys? -In the car.
-In the car! With the money and the supplies.
-Oops.
-"Oops"? 5:30 A.
M.
, mister.
Rise and shine.
You don't wanna be late for your duty call.
My duty call is not until 7:30.
-The way I figure, it'll take 30 minutes to consume the meal and peruse the newspaper, 14 to 17 minutes to jog to headquarters, half hour to shower up and get ready, another 30 minutes to scan yesterday's incident reports, ten to make the tower assignments, and five to prep for roll call.
-What about my cup of coffee? I like a cup of coffee at work.
-I factored that into prep.
-Decaffeinated, of course.
-Of course.
-Gotta keep the senses sharp.
-What is that smell? -Fresh, hot, reconstituted meat cakes.
They're great.
I learned to love them in the army.
Go on, chow down.
You only got 29 minutes left.
-Dad, we've got to get rid of him.
-Give him a break, will you? He's going through a rough time.
-If we don't, I'll go crazy.
Even worse, I'll go hungry -hey, guys, if a scorpion sees your shadow, it'll get out of the way, right? -Are you sure there's a charming little beach town ahead? -Yeah, just around the next bend.
-That's what you said six bends ago.
Too bad you threw the map away.
What's there? -Friendliest little place I've ever been.
Folks there took me in like I was long-lost family.
The fact is I thought about settling in miraflores permanently.
-I wish you had.
-I mean, you step on a scorpion, it's instant death, right? -No.
-Really? That's good, that's good.
-Probably take you days to die.
-So when we get to this little garden paradise, we should call Mitch and ask him to pick us up.
-That sounds like a plan.
Of course, it'd work better if there was a phone there.
Glad to see you got your thinking cap on there, Craig.
-All right, tell me, so what do I do if I see a scorpion? -Let me know.
I want to throw myself on it.
-That's great, guys.
Good times are just beginning.
-Just wait till we get to miraflores.
-I want my Jeep.
-Uh.
-What are you doing? -I'm starving.
What happened to the left-over pizza? -Hobie ate it this morning.
-That little sneak.
I'll just have his dry cereal.
-Is Thorpe eating you out of house and home? -Worse.
He's cooking.
-Oh, I don't know how you can stand it.
-Not so bad, I wash it down with orange juice and toss the rest in the garbage can when his back is turned.
-I meant Thorpe.
It must be hell living with a drill sergeant.
-I think it's his way of dealing with the stress, I suppose.
You know, when Gayle left me, I went little crazy, too.
-Thorpe has always been a little crazy.
-Jill, you're not being fair.
Underneath that starched shirt is a very sensitive man.
-Underneath that starched shirt is a starched undershirt.
-Mitch! Just the man I wanted to see.
What do you say we cut out a little early tonight, huh? -Early? -Yeah.
Keep this under your hat, Riley.
Shift's over at seven.
What do you say we sneak out at around 6:50, change into some dancing duds, and hit the discos.
Discos? -Yeah, I heard mcmurtry's is a great place to troll for chicks.
-"Chicks"? -Lighten up, Riley.
Man talk.
Nothing personal.
-Don't you think you're moving a little fast here? -Mitch, I think this is the best thing that could've happened to me.
Law of the jungle.
Right, Riley? Families exist to raise and nurture offspring.
Our offspring are grown.
So the marriage is pointless, right? Best of all, I still got my youth.
I'm still young, I've still got the moves.
And tonight, the king will show you a few.
You like Hobie? -Yeah.
-Great.
Would you make sure he's in bed by nine o'clock? He's got a big day tomorrow.
6:50, Mitch.
You're driving.
-Yeah, you were right.
Can't get any more sensitive than that.
-Thanks for letting me do my junior lifeguard apprenticeship at your tower.
-No problem.
I could use the extra set of eyes.
And arms.
-I mean, sure I'm lucky to have you showing me the ropes.
-Well, I imagine your dad showed you every strand.
-He showed me how it should be.
Now I wanna see how it is from the best lifeguard.
-I am, really? -Hands down, the best.
-You know, I think this apprenticeship thing is gonna work out just fine.
Now, the secret to sweeping a tower is all in the brush stroke.
Watch.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
You practice, I'll supervise.
-How much fun? -Is that a scorpion? -No.
We're here.
This is miraflores? -Yeah.
This is where you wanted to stay forever? -Uh-huh.
I guess that was before they dropped the bomb.
-Hey, there's Miguel.
Now if anybody in this town can help us out, it's Miguel.
Hey Miguel! "Mi hermano!" -Hey, I thought you said these people were like family.
-I don't get it, man.
I lived with this guy for a week.
-Maybe you overstayed your welcome.
-Hey! Hey, Juan.
-Look, there's one person in this town who's gonna treat us right, okay? Ines? -Yeah.
She's gonna be thrilled to see me.
Hey, barkeep.
"Tres cervezas, por favor.
" Oh, yeah.
-I'll bring you a menu.
-Gracias, "señorita.
" -Hey! John d.
-I told you I'd be back someday.
What did I say? -You didn't tell me you'd be leaving town.
-Did I forget to mention that? -She's thrilled.
-I can see that.
-Tequila.
Tequi-- oh, come on.
Tequila, "comprende?" -Hey, hey, hey.
Do you mind? I'm in the middle of something personal here.
-What did you say? -Nothing, nothing at all.
-I said we're in the middle of something personal here, so just cool your jets.
-I thought that's what you said.
Oh, god, never thought it'd be so great to hear an American talking! Kyle rigler.
How are you doing? -John d.
Cort.
This is Craig Pomeroy and Eddie Kramer.
How are you doing? The drinks are on me, boys.
-Keep your filthy paws off me.
Don't touch me.
-Sit down, boy.
They're just having a little fun.
-Yeah, well, the party is over.
-Oh, not till I say so.
-Works every time.
-Watch with the wall.
-Cheers.
-Should we help him? -Save your strength.
-Oh.
Stop.
Stop it, you're breaking everything.
-Oh.
The service stinks.
I'll I'll be back to get my refund.
-John, are you all right? We showed them, didn't we? That's my Jeep.
5:30 A.
M.
and I'm Raring to go.
Captain? -Morning.
-Hey.
-Rough night, huh? -Are you kidding? It was wonderful.
Sorry I kept cutting in on you like that.
-No, no, that's okay.
Looked like you were having a blast.
I left at midnight, you were still dancing away.
-Oh, Mitch, I had the music in me.
I haven't felt this good in 27 years.
-How did you get home, anyway? -Hitched a ride with a couple girls.
You know how it is.
-Oh, yeah.
I mean, it happens to me all the time.
-Single life is great.
You should have clued me in long before this.
-Right.
You've been out here all night? -Yeah.
Couldn't sleep.
All wound up.
The adrenaline, I tell you.
You know.
-Yeah, yeah, I know.
Thinking about her, huh? -Who? -Your wife.
-Yeah, yeah.
I was thinking now I can finally get that sports car she'd never let me buy.
-I'll make some breakfast.
-Yeah.
-Hey! -Get out of here.
-Sorry, sorry.
We've been invited to leave town.
-By them.
-I hope these guys aren't all your brothers.
"Señor" rigler wants you to leave our town.
-Don't listen to them.
They're cowards.
-We are not wanted here.
We're getting my Jeep and we're going.
-That Jeep belongs to rigler now.
You fools, leave! -Who is this guy? Why's everybody so scared of him? -"Señor" rigler is a very powerful man.
No, rigler is a -- -Ines! Think of our families, huh? -I'll tell you who he is.
He's a cheap crook, and when I see him, I'm gonna tell him.
He's gonna listen to reason.
-Come on, Craig, I don't think that's such a great idea.
-Fine.
I'll do it myself.
You should leave rigler alone.
-You coming? -We can kick rigler's butt if we have to.
-Craig, I haven't recovered from kicking his butt yesterday.
-You'd better get packing, because I'm gonna be back in a couple hours.
Excuse me.
You'll get hurt.
-Excuse me, excuse me.
-Craig.
Excuse me, excuse me.
-You gotta be kidding.
A Porsche costs that much? You know, at that price, you ought to throw in a pool and six bedrooms.
-What's the problem? -The problem is an American four-door sedan costs about 17,000.
You figure a two-seater should be about half that price, right? -It doesn't quite work that way.
When was the last time you bought a car anyway? -1977.
Caprice classic.
Wood-grain dash, opera windows.
It's still in mint-condition.
-Keep it.
-I don't know, Mitch, that car belonged to the old me.
I want something Wilder, crazier.
Hello, this is captain Don Thorpe over at baywatch.
Yeah, what kind of a deal can you make me on a corvette? Yeah, I'll hold.
-Captain, you and Doris have only been separated for a couple of days.
Maybe you should slow down here, look for a place to live instead of concentrating on getting a new car.
No, you gotta keep moving, Mitch.
You sit out on the road of life, time will run you over and grind you right down into the asphalt.
You can quote me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You call that a deal? Sounds like the national debt.
No, we're not in a ball park.
We're not even in the same country.
And what about a lease? -Oh.
-You'd better be installing a stereo, boy, or you're dead.
What we have is a little misunderstanding here.
You see, this is my Jeep.
And you probably didn't know that when you took it.
-Yeah, I hear.
You're right.
That changes everything.
-I thought it might.
Why don't we step over here and work this out, huh? -Good.
-Can I give you a lift? -No, thanks.
Captain? -Isn't she a beauty? -Yeah, of course.
-Hop in, let's cruise.
No, thanks, I've had my fill of nightlife lately.
-Forget mcmurtry's.
I wanna swing by the courthouse.
I've got some divorce papers to file.
-Divorce papers? You're saying you talked to your wife about this? -No, why should I? -Find out how she feels about this before you do something you regret.
-Actions speak louder than words, Mitch.
No, she's made up her mind.
I wanna make this fast and painless.
-Sorry, you've married for 27 years.
It's not gonna be fast and painless.
You're fooling yourself if you think it is.
There's a lot of talking, and a lot of thinking, and There's a lot of pain you have to go through.
-That's the difference between us, Mitch.
I don't waste time crying over spilled milk, I just Clean up the mess.
Come on, I'll show you how it's done.
-No, thanks.
You go clean up on your own, huh? -Okay, I'll see you back at the house.
-Yeah.
-Hey, Hobie.
-Hey.
-Since when are you into flower arrangements? -Get real.
This is a for a girl.
I risked my life picking these.
-Thorns? -Fangs.
You'd be surprised how protective a dog can be over a flower garden.
-She must be awfully special.
-Sure is.
Girls my age, well, they're just girls.
She's a woman.
-Since when are you into dating older women? -Is that wrong? I mean, you think it's stupid? -You like her? -Yeah.
-And she likes you? -Yeah.
-Then I'd say go for it.
Be in by nine.
-Hi, this is a surprise.
-Yeah, I was, um, in the neighborhood.
You know.
-I know.
-Oh.
These are for you.
-Wow, what's the special occasion? -Well, for, like you letting me be in your tower and all.
You know.
-I know.
You wanna come in? -Yeah.
You got that? -Yeah, it's gonna be better than new.
-Shouldn't Craig be back by now? -Craig ever try reason on you? Once he starts, he doesn't wind down for about three hours.
-When you're done with the table, you can start fixing the chairs.
-Yes, ma'am.
-And when you're done with the chairs, start washing dishes.
-Wow, hey, look, I don't mind fixing the furniture we broke, but I don't do dishes.
-Oh, then you have the money to pay your bar bill? -All right, you wash, I'll dry.
-Fine.
-Couldn't be.
-No way.
He did it.
-Unbelievable.
-Are you all right? -Are you okay? -Peachy.
-Any more great ideas? -No.
-Good.
Now we do this my way.
-Got you.
-Gosh, Shauni, you sure are good at this game.
-Years of intensive training.
Hey, you want some more cocoa? -Thanks.
-Great.
-It's really nice of you to let me hang out with you here.
-My pleasure.
-Really? -Here we go.
-Thanks.
I moved.
So, you were saying? About liking me being here? -Oh, oh, yeah.
You know, with Eddie out of town, it gets kind of lonely around here.
It's nice to have a man around the house.
-If I were your boyfriend, I'd never leave town without you.
-That's sweet.
-I mean it, I'd be much better to you than Eddie.
I'd bring you flowers, I'd take your lunch at the tower, and I'd even carry your lifeguard stuff for you.
-But, Hobie.
You already do all that.
-I know.
-Hobie.
-I thought i-- -what? Hobie.
-Yeah? It's me.
-It's you? Well, that was quick.
I bet you had a stopwatch during your wedding ceremony.
-I couldn't do it, Mitch.
I got up to the counter and handed across the divorce papers, but when the clerk reached for them, I pulled them back.
-What made you change your mind? -When I held out the papers, I saw that gold band.
All the rationalizations in the world couldn't change the way I suddenly felt.
-These feeling have been always there, you've just been moving too fast to see them.
-Oh, the last few days The club, the car have been great.
But not as great as it would've been if I could've Share it with Doris.
I'd forgotten how to just Live for myself.
For so long, all my thoughts, my dreams have Always included her.
I don't know how to stop that.
I don't know if I want to.
-You know, you'd be surprised how that changes.
I mean, if ending this is really what you want.
-Oh, I think now Our marriage was pretty flat the last few years.
Boring, I guess.
Maybe that makes it a sham, I don't know.
But I honestly thought this is.
The right thing to do.
-Maybe it is.
But there's no hurry.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
The other night, after she slammed the front door on me, I just Stood there, holding my suitcases.
Before I knew it, I was here.
I had nowhere else to go.
-You can stay here as long as it takes.
But go talk to her.
-Yeah.
Hobie.
Hobie! Wait! Hi.
I wanna talk to you.
-You mean you want to kill me.
-Why would I want to do that? -For what I did.
-I think what you did was sweet.
-"Sweet"? That ranks right up there with "cute.
" You mean shove off.
-Wait.
I'm glad you kissed me.
-You are? -Yeah.
You know, some people go through their whole lives never having anyone ever fall in love with them.
But I have two people.
I think that's pretty special.
-Yeah, I guess it is.
But you can't date both of us.
-I know.
-And you were dating Eddie first.
-True.
-It would probably hurt him if you dumped him for a 13- year-old.
-Yeah.
-So maybe we could just be friends for a while.
-That's a good idea.
-Friends? -Good friends.
-First you wreck the furniture, now the wiring.
Why don't just burn the place down and get it over with? -We'll make it good as new as soon as we finish with rigler.
-A small sacrifice to get rid of that vulture.
-Yeah, it's a bigger sacrifice than anyone else around here has ever made.
-Don't judge them too harshly.
They're afraid for their families.
Look, rigler is a coyote.
He has taken many of our people across the border.
And if we don't do what he wants, he can tell the American authorities where they are.
-As if he really knew.
-And you would take the chance? Of course you would.
And so did our sheriff.
He tried to stop rigler.
They tied him to the back of a truck.
They dragged him through these streets until he was dead.
So you see, they have plenty of reasons to be afraid.
-Well, so does rigler.
He just doesn't know it yet.
Hey, boys.
-Ready? -Almost.
Let's do it.
-He's gone, he's gone.
-Okay.
-This better be good.
-It's gonna be great.
Trust me.
Never.
-They're coming, they're coming.
-Okay, let's go.
Okay, we got them.
-Terrific.
How? -All we gotta do is put these babies together.
-I'll do the honors.
-Wait.
-You blew up my Jeep.
-No, no, no.
You blew up your Jeep.
-Guys, guys, come on, let's go.
-I blew up my Jeep.
I blew up my Jeep! -Miraflores is gonna pay for this! -Everybody! Come on now! Hey, rigler's coming.
Come on! Come on, we gotta get ready.
-Rigler's coming! Gather round.
We need your help.
-What are you doing? -Rigler and his men are coming.
They'll destroy the town if we don't stop them.
-What are you talking about? -Cort blew up their Jeep.
-No, no, no, Craig blew up their Jeep.
-Yeah, Craig blew up his Jeep.
-Rigler and his men, they're coming.
-If I were you, I'd run.
-That's right.
-If I were you, I'd fight.
It's not us they're going to be after.
-It was you who blew up their Jeep.
-That's not the way they're gonna see it.
-Then we'll tell them about it.
-No, we did it to get them here.
You can't beat them alone, and we can't beat them alone.
But we can do it together.
-Have we no dignity? Rigler has taken away our sheriff.
He's taken away our pride.
Are we just going to stand here and let him burn down our town? -Looks like it.
-So we'll be burned.
-This is where we grew up.
Think about what that means to you.
Think about what this town was like before they showed up.
Think about who you are now.
And think of who you used to be.
There they are.
-Take your last long look at miraflores.
'Cause tomorrow it's gonna be ashes.
-Walk away while you still can.
-Now don't stomach the earth.
Miraflores belongs to us.
-I guess this is where the town showers us with appreciation.
-You can send the authorities to pick up this garbage.
But if I see your face here again, I'll scratch it off.
-How can you say that after everything we've done for you? -Oh, man.
I need a vacation.