Becker s04e06 Episode Script

1 You're late and we're already behind.
All right.
All right.
I'll be right with you As soon as I call my mechanic.
Uh-uh-uh.
No time for personal calls.
Mr.
Walters is in one, mrs.
Chang's in two, And ricky brickman's coming by for you To take a look at his wrist.
Now go.
I haven't even had my coffee yet.
Patients first, coffee later.
Yesterday I was the boss here, right? If you say so.
Oh, margaret, what the hell Is the water bottle still doing here? Like I told you last night, It's going to stay there till you pick it up And put it on the cooler.
You know, if you women truly wanted equality Just do it.
( grunts ) Ah, another late arrival.
Linda, I've already given dr.
Becker his instructions, And I have a few things for you, too.
John: Ow! Damn, that hurts! Can I do something different than you made him do? Hey, I just wrenched my shoulder Putting that stupid water bottle up on the cooler.
I hope you're happy.
Did you do it? Yes, I did it.
Then I'm happy.
All right, get started on these.
And when ricky brickman comes in, Send him back to the doctor.
Oh, could you do that? I don't want to see him.
But I thought you two were dating.
I don't think that's going to work out.
The whole time I was with him, I couldn't shake this feeling that I wasn't attracted to him.
Maybe that's because I wasn't attracted to him.
That would explain it.
If only ricky looked like his brother.
Donny is just so much hotter.
Both: Hey, linda.
Hey, ricky.
Hi, donny.
I'm definitely missing something.
Had a great time last night.
Yeah, great time, he told me.
Haven't stopped talking about it.
He really hasn't.
How about a movie tonight? Uh, tonight's not really good.
Mind if I come? I'd love to.
Great, we'll get dinner first.
I love dinner.
Italian? Chinese? Thai? Mexican? Falafel? Both: Works for me.
Don't ring.
Don't ring.
Please, don't ring.
( phone rings ) Hello.
Yeah, amanda.
I'm still here at the newsstand.
Same place I was when you called ten minutes ago.
Yeah, I'll be here all day, Like I've been telling you all morning.
You know where you can reach me.
Unfortunately.
Problems with the wife? Now, bob, I've told you we are not married, And no, we are not having problems.
She's down in baltimore visiting her parents, And, well, she just misses me.
She's checking up on you.
She's not checking up on me.
She just likes to know where I am.
Every moment of every single day.
What's the matter, bob? You jealous? Please.
The only reason he got a hot woman Like amanda is out of pity.
If bob was blind, he'd get that kind of action, too.
Bob, the reason you don't get women Isn't because you can't see, it's because they can.
Why the hate? And, jake, I think it's sweet that she's calling.
It's kind of romantic.
Oh, please.
When a woman Calls a guy ten times a day, it's romantic, But when I do it, I'm a stalker.
Believe me, connie chung would've been lucky to have me.
Coffee to go, reg.
Oh, geez.
What's wrong with your shoulder? Oh, I aggravated an old football injury.
( laughter ) Well, we know he didn't strain it picking up a check.
For your information, I'm in a lot of pain.
The last time this happened The 1911 harvard/yale game? The last time this happened, They thought I might need surgery.
I got to go in for an mri this afternoon.
Yeah, the pain's so bad I can hardly Put my shirt on.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
God, I can barely raise my arm to comb my hair.
And yet you can tough it out to light a cigarette.
Well, I'm not dead.
John becker? Dr.
Becker, that's right.
( sighs ): Oh, doctor, great.
I cannot tell you how relieved I am To have a patient who knows the drill.
My name is randy.
I'll be helping you today.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's just get on with this, all right? Mm-hmm.
Wait.
I-is this the adult one? It's a lot smaller than I thought.
Well, it's even smaller when you're in there.
Well, it's only my shoulder.
How long can that take? You know, the usual, about 45 minutes.
45? 45 minutes? In a row? You're not claustrophobic, are you? You know, like, are you afraid to ride in the subway? Why, is there some kind of Street gang in there or something? Are you sure you're okay? You seem like the kind of guy Who could use a valium.
Oh, no.
I get that all the time.
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Okay.
Just climb right on up here, we'll get started.
Hey Is that my pager? I don't hear anything.
Oh, you know why? It's probably because it's on It's on vibrate.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, look at that.
One of my patients is having a Having a Panic attack? Yeah, panic attack.
Uh, look, I hate to do this to you, But this guy happens to be very close to me.
You know, I-I got to go.
I'll, uh I'll call you when I Hey, how you doing? Yeah, how you doing? Still don't get it.
Um, what can I do for you? He lost that form.
That insurance form.
Can't find it.
Vanished.
I got it.
It's gone.
I'll print you another one.
( groans ) Computer keeps freezing up.
We can get you a new one.
Give you a great deal.
Friend lost his business.
Fire sale.
Has to sell everything.
Can I get one today? Sorry.
Fire's not till Friday.
Hey, donny.
Hey, ricky.
I had a great time last night.
Both: We did, too.
Thanks for the movie.
Thanks for the popcorn.
Thanks for walking me home.
Thanks for inviting us in.
Thanks for changing into something a little more Thanks for stopping by.
Here's your new form.
Both: Bye, linda.
Bye, you.
Keeping in mind that I'm a christian but curious, What happened last night? Oh, it was the best date I've ever been on.
I'm at the movies, I look to one side of me and there's donny.
Okay, he's a bit of a ditz, But he's got that beautiful smile, Twinkling eyes, Incredible bod.
And on the other side of me, there's ricky.
Okay, I have to get past his looks, But he's so much fun.
He's cracking jokes, making me laugh, And then all of a sudden, it dawns on me.
What dawns on you?! Oh, that between the two of them, They're the perfect guy.
So, you're going to date the both of them? If they'll have me.
Oh, john, I'm glad you're here.
Let me ask you something.
Those twins, donny and ricky, Is one of them better looking than the other? Yeah.
Donny.
Ow, god! My shoulder.
Oh, uh, that reminds me.
The hospital called with the results of your mri.
Apparently, the machine detected A long, yellow streak down your back.
For your information, you know, I had a medical emergency.
I thought I was going to die.
( laughs ) Well, anyway, I rescheduled your appointment For today at 5:00.
Oh, come And there is nothing to be afraid of.
After all, you're a doctor.
You send patients for these all the time.
Yeah, I send patients for all kinds of horrible stuff.
But this time, it's different.
This time, it's me.
You were very brave, honey.
Here you go.
Oh, and if this little boy is just as brave, He'll get a lollipop, too.
I'm not interested unless you got A chocolate one with a chewy morphine center.
So, are we going to do this, Or is there going to be another "emergency"? Yeah, yeah.
All right, all right.
You need a few minutes? Why? To get my affairs in order? Let's just do it.
You can always try closing your eyes And visualizing an open space, like a meadow or a lake.
So I'm in a coffin on a lake, that's great.
Just trying to help.
Uh, wait, uh, wait, wait, wait! ( panicked breathing ) My nose itches.
All right.
Okay, I'm-I'm fine now.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! So, you can hear me in there, right? 'cause I always tell my-my patients that, But now I really, I really need to know.
We'll be in contact the whole time.
All right.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh.
What now? So, if there's a, There's a problem, you can get me right out, right? Unless there's a power failure.
What do you, what do you mean? But that hardly ever happens.
C-can you hear me? Perfectly clear.
Are you sure? Absolutely.
Good.
Good.
Get me out of here! ( yawns ) Another triple date last night? Yeah.
We played tennis.
They won.
Linda, this has got to stop.
It's weird.
What are you talking about? This is a simple love story between a woman and a man And another man.
I still say it's unnatural.
Love isn't perfect, margaret.
Sometimes one man doesn't have everything you need.
Louis has a brother, right? Are you telling me that he doesn't have Some qualities that you wish louis had? Well, sure.
I mean, he's a successful lawyer.
He's funny, athletic, Has an incredible head of hair, And lord knows he loves to dance.
And You know what? This isn't about me.
Okay, that's it, amanda! I've had it! I'm sick of you calling me every ten minutes.
Either you trust me or you don't.
And if you don't, for all I care, You can just stay in baltimore! All right.
Not bad.
But when it's really amanda, you need to be more direct.
And don't forget the thing about you're the man, she's the woman, And she's got to do what you say.
Oh, I can't say that to amanda.
Let me explain something to you about being blind: I can't see a punch coming.
Well, whatever you do, jake, do it soon, Because she's calling me to check up on you now.
I'm sorry, reg.
Once-- and I don't know how she did this-- But call waiting went off while I was talking to her, And it was her.
Bob: Hey, becker, There's a call for you in the phone booth-- Unless you're too afraid to come in here.
( laughs ) How could you chicken out of an mri? I did not chicken out.
Margaret told us everything.
Okay, I chickened out.
Bob: What are you afraid of? All my life, I've been stuffed into small places-- Car trunks, closets, school lockers-- And not in a romantic way.
You have no idea what it's like being in one of those things.
It's like they're taking an elephant's temperature-- With me.
Nice image.
Apparently, I have to try again this afternoon, But this time I'm taking a valium-- a really big one.
And I'm going to need someone to drive me.
Margaret's busy, I don't trust linda, And I'd rather have jake drive me than bob.
Reg, you're the only one left.
It's the prom all over again.
Okay, I'll take you.
Oh, thank you.
Actually, you can return the favor.
I've got dental surgery next week.
You can't just do something nice for me, can you? I have to do something for you as payback.
Fine.
Fine.
I'll have margaret take you.
Becker, you're not in that apartment.
Well, you are, but you're not supposed to be.
Oh, god, who lives in this dump? This is your place.
Oh.
You sure you're going to be okay? You know, I think for another hour, I'm going to be as good as I've ever been.
Except I feel like I'm wearing a hat.
Becker, come on, let's sit down and relax.
Okay.
Over this way.
You want me to make you, um, some tea or some soup? No, no.
I'm fine.
But you know something? Soup's a very funny word.
Say it: Soup.
Soup.
Soup! ( laughs ) Are you going to be okay here alone? Oh, absolutely.
And you know something else? I want to thank you, you know, for driving me.
Oh, no problem.
I've never said this before, but, you know, You've got really good tooth-to-gum ratio.
Excuse me? Y-you know, nice teeth, perfect amount of gum.
Oh.
Well Thanks.
( chuckles ) You know, and another thing, you're a very good friend.
I mean that.
That's very nice-- If not really weird-- to hear you say that.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Hey, I know what you're thinking.
That the yogurt place closes in five minutes? No, no.
You're thinking, why-why didn't I ever ask you out? Okay, I'll tell you why.
When I first met you, I-I thought to myself, Now, here's somebody who's probably very interested in me.
Oh, this ought to be good.
Why? "why"? Well, I don't mean to brag, But, you know, tall, handsome, harvard, doctor.
Football.
Well, you know Manager.
It never would've worked out between us.
F-first of all, I'm not that great in bed.
Way to sell yourself.
No, no.
I've been told.
Well, you know, good enough, but Not great.
And secondly-- And I hope you don't mind my saying this-- whoo-- You're a very attractive woman.
Thank you, becker.
Yeah, you got A great-great face on your head And beautiful legs.
( chuckles ) But you just can't get it together.
Honey, you're a mess! Okay, this just stopped being fun.
My, god, reg, You should've been out of that diner long ago! Or at least learn how to cook.
Uh, becker No, no, no.
I mean, every time I'm in there, You have a new idea of which way your life should be going, But n-nothing ever changes.
You know, I could help you, reg.
I could help you.
I-I could make a difference in your life.
See, I have such a clear view Of the world and-and the way it works, But you always argue with me.
You feel the need to resist everything I say.
Why, reg, why? You should listen to me.
Learn from me, you know.
Follow my lead.
Hey, I can't stay here and talk to you.
I got to get back to the office.
Oh, my god.
So, jake, your phone hasn't rung all morning.
Did you lay down the law with amanda? Yep, I sure did.
I told amanda to back off and give me some space.
Good for you.
She must've really gotten the message.
Either that or You know what? Never mind.
Or what? Or your phone call really upset her And she's out busy getting revenge.
I mean, think about it: She's in her hometown, Maybe she looks up an old boyfriend, They get a couple of drinks.
Next thing you know, they're getting a hotel room.
You know what, jake, I'm sorry.
Don't listen to me.
She could just as easily be with someone new.
Reg Would you watch the newsstand for a minute? Sure.
Where you going, jake? Baltimore.
Hi, jake.
Bye, jake.
Hey, guys.
I have the best idea for what we could do tonight.
I thought we'd have an early dinner, and then We have to talk.
We really do.
That sounds serious.
It is serious.
We really like you.
A lot.
And I like you two, too.
But there's a problem.
You're coming between us.
We had our first fight.
It wasn't pretty.
Wasn't pretty.
I just said that! And I just agreed! See what you're doing to us.
Both: You have to choose.
But why? Don't you know what we have here? Don't make this harder than it is.
What he said.
No, I can't accept this.
Love is just too hard to find.
I mean, does what we have mean so little to you? I saw a future for us.
I imagined us in a church, me peeking through my veil And seeing the two of you standing there.
And then one day, we'd have a nice house In the suburbs, with a three-car garage And a porch with a swing and another swing.
But if all of that means so little to you, Then clearly, you're not Half the men that I thought you were.
Wow, she dumped both of us.
Didn't see that coming.
Sure am glad we didn't sleep with her.
Yeah, me, too.
Hey, becker.
Reg.
Coffee and danish, please.
So, did you get the results from your mri? Yeah.
Oh, no, everything's fine.
I don't need, I don't need surgery; just a sprain.
Oh, that's great.
Hey, thank you for-for driving me yesterday.
No problem.
Yeah.
Listen, When I woke up this morning, I was I mean, I didn't have any You didn't have what? Look, what I'm trying to say is, Did I do anything last night that, you know, If I knew about it, I could never show my face in here ever again? Gee, becker, I really don't know what you're talking about.
I dropped you off, we talked for a few minutes.
You went to bed and then I left.
Oh.
Oh, good.
Good.
Thank you.
Oh, by the way, becker.
Mm-hmm? Nice ass.