Becker s04e24 Episode Script

Everybody Loves Becker (2)

1 Previously on becker John, this is chris.
She just moved to the city.
Let me explain something.
Around here, you turn the other cheek, You get hit in the other cheek.
All I meant was, there's enough conflict in the world.
Why make more? I don't make conflict.
Yet you're always around when it happens.
It must be hard to live like you do.
Always think everybody's out to get you.
I know it's none of my business, But I just wanted to say Becker, I heard from chris.
Who cares? Well, yesterday you were asking all about her, so I don't care about her.
Why? What did she want? I'll tell you who has feelings.
Becker for chris.
I mean, it's pathetic.
Have you ever seen someone act out so much in your life? (bangs door) So who knew after all these years, Reggie would be interested in becker? I guess all it took was for him To be interested in someone else.
You know how something can be right in front of your face And you never notice it? Then something happens to make you notice it And then you wonder Why you never noticed it to begin with? I never really noticed.
You know what? Uh Forget it.
I really should go.
Okay.
God, I'm so lame.
Hey, reg.
Oh, look, becker, about last night Yeah, yeah, about that.
I think I know what was going on.
You do? Well, look, I should ex You were drunk, weren't you? Yes, that's it, I was drunk.
I'm so glad you figured it out.
Well, hey, you know, no big deal.
I've been there plenty of times, believe me.
You just had one of those nights Where it finally hits you Just how pitiful your life is.
Yes, that's it.
Yeah, you get so depressed, you have a drink.
One drink leads to four or five.
You end up getting so wasted, before you know it, You're making an ass of yourself.
Like you did last night at my apartment.
Yes, yes.
That's what happened.
What was that about? Reggie was drinking? Oh, she just had a bad night.
I talked to her.
I think she's feeling better.
Gee, most people don't start drinking Till after they talk to you.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, chris, welcome back.
Oh, I'm glad to be back.
I had a wonderful trip.
The weather was beautiful.
Saw a lot of old friends.
And I even found my old Excuse me.
Ever occur to you that jake and I might be having A very important conversation? Chris: Oh, my mistake.
Please continue.
Well, the moment's gone now.
All I was going to say was that when I was home, I found all my old racquetball stuff And now I'm dying to play.
Anybody want to join me? Blind guy in a small room swinging a piece of wood around.
You sure you want to take that chance? How about you, reggie? Oh, no, I got really hurt once on a racquetball court.
Oh, did you sprain something? No, that's where my boyfriend dumped me.
Don't look at me.
Racquetball's really not my sport.
What is your sport? You're looking at it.
I can't believe there's not one person here Who wants to play racquetball.
Racquetball? Bob loves racquetball.
I was, like, all-city racquetball.
My middle name is racquetball.
Well, actually, it's benito, But that seems to have gone out of fashion.
All right, we're on.
I'll reserve a court at the y.
3:00 okay? Perfect.
See you there.
Can't wait.
Me, you, racquetball.
Okay, what's racquetball? Uh-huh.
Sounds good.
All right, julie, I'll see you soon.
Big plans for the evening? Oh, not really.
We're just going to grab something to eat, Maybe go to a club.
What are you doing tonight? Well, let's see.
Um, I'm going to go home and, uh, get dinner started.
It's Tuesday, so that means mac and cheese.
Um, louis and I will eat in front of the television.
He'll fall asleep, I'll do the crossword, Go to bed, get up, and start all over tomorrow.
What's this for? All of it.
What do you mean? Your life, it's just so Dull.
My life isn't dull.
Sometimes I cut up little hot dogs into the mac and cheese.
Stop that! I can't help it.
You need a night out.
Look, come with julie and me.
We'll go to dinner and maybe go dancing.
It'll be fun.
On a Tuesday? Ooh, I don't know.
No, you have to come with me, or else it'll ruin my night.
I'll be out somewhere having fun And then I'll start thinking of you With the mac and the cheese and the hot dogs And louis.
Look, just do it for me, okay? All right, almost there.
One more step.
Oh, my god, are you all right? I'll get john.
What happened? Ow.
I'm not really sure.
Uh, we were playing racquetball.
I-I don't know if I was going for the ball or bob was.
I've never seen anyone move that fast.
Bob? He-he was a blur.
The guy's in street clothes and a leather jacket And he's running up the walls like in the matrix.
I was pretty good, wasn't I? What'd you do, twist your ankle? No, no, it's my knee.
It's happened before.
It's, it's like it popped out of the socket or something.
Ew, gross.
Linda.
Well, it is.
Becker: Let's get you back To an exam room.
I'll take a look.
We'll, okay, we'll do this again soon, okay? Well, you know, everything up to the point Where you were curled up in a ball on the floor, screaming.
It's amazing how many of my dates end that way.
John, do you want me to stay or? No, no, no.
Go on home, margaret.
I don't want you to miss mac-and-cheese night.
How do you know it's mac-and-cheese night? It's Tuesday.
You, me, let's go.
Sorry to bother you like this.
I would have gone to the emergency room, But they make you wait, like, ten hours Before anyone helps you And the only thing they really care about Is how you're going to pay.
Yeah, they are pretty heartless.
You-you do have insurance, don't you? Yes.
Okay, then, let's take a look here.
You know, the last time I popped my knee out like this, I was sunbathing in mexico.
You popped your knee out sunbathing? Well It's kind of a funny story, really.
I was in this lounge chair and it actually folded up on me, You know, like in a cartoon? Even an injury amuses you? Can't Can't you just bitch and moan like everybody else? Ow! Ow! Ow! That hurts! That's more like it.
Ow! Oh! Ooh Ooh, you just You just popped it back in.
How'd you do that? Who knows? I just moved stuff around until you stopped screaming.
No, you don't understand.
I had my hand on chris' knee.
Okay, maybe I'm missing something here.
Why is that a problem? Because she's a woman.
I'm not supposed to notice that.
You know, a patient is a patient.
And they're just parts with insurance.
There's your ad for the yellow pages.
You know, I-I don't even understand Why I had feelings like that for her at all.
I mean What are you trying to say, that I like her? 'cause I-I can't stand her.
She's annoying, she's chirpy She sure smells good.
Yeah, yeah, she does.
Th-that's not the point, jake.
You know, I, I shouldn't have even looked at her like that.
You know, I-I'm a professional.
Oh, you know what? You're absolutely right.
Yeah, sh-she's a patient, I'm a doctor.
I just won't think of her as anything more than that.
Thank you, jake.
That really helped.
It was nothing.
Really.
What was that about? Where did you come from? It doesn't matter.
What was that about? Nothing.
Liar.
Sounded to me like chris Is throwing herself at becker.
Of all the doctors in new york, she has to go to him? Okay, reg, I think you're making too big a deal What are you saying? You saying I like becker? I never said that.
Well, you're wrong.
I'll tell you what this is.
It's skipper all over again.
Skipper? Barbie's younger sister.
Everybody wanted to play with barbie.
Nobody wanted to play with skipper.
Then one day My cousin came over and picked up skipper-- That was all it took.
I never wanted anything so bad in my whole life.
So that's all this is.
I'm sure of it.
Thanks, jake.
It helps to talk.
I wouldn't know.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, bob.
All right, enough chitchat.
We need to talk.
I like chris.
(groans) What are you saying? You don't think I have a shot with her? Well, let's not forget who made the first move.
That racquetball game, she asked me.
And we really clicked.
Every time I hit the ball, she hit it back.
I think that means something.
You know, bob You know what? You're right.
I should just go ahead and ask her out.
Thanks, jake.
I don't know what I did, But apparently I'm very good at it.
Sorry to bother you again, But my knee isn't getting any better.
I am in so much pain and I don't know what else to do.
Gee, you should be feeling better by now.
Let's take another look.
Does it hurt if I do this? No.
How about this? No.
How about if I do this? (loud snap) (screaming) Morning, dr.
Becker.
Wow, you look terrible.
I'm sorry, that came out wrong.
I mean, awful.
Well, maybe "awful" is too strong a word, But you look much worse than usual.
Thanks so much.
You know, I had a rough night.
Well, two patients just canceled, So you have a free hour.
Why don't you go into your office and take a nap? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, if I sleep, I'm gonna dream, And if I dream, someone could get hurt.
Uh, you know what? I think I'm just going to get some fresh air.
I'll be at the diner having a cigarette.
Oh, uh, w-where's margaret? Oh, she's off giving home care to mr.
Thompson.
Mr.
Thompson died last month.
Then she should be back soon.
Not now, louis, get off me.
Ew, gross.
(groans) Oh, oh, oh.
I came in early 'cause I wanted to sleep for a few minutes.
What time is it? It's almost 9:00.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Well, it's no wonder, Considering how much you drank last night.
Who knew there was such a wild woman Under that polyester smock? What did I do? You drank, you danced, You stood up and sang "what's love got to do with it?" Oh, yeah, the karaoke bar.
That wasn't a karaoke bar-- that was grand central station.
But I distinctly remember Reading words going across a screen.
You were watching cnn.
But didn't I sing into a microphone? Actually, you grabbed a skinny bald guy around the neck And you were screaming into his head.
I hope you're happy, jake.
Yesterday when I told you about chris' knee, You said it was nothing.
Well, last night I had a dream Where I was about to kiss her, and her leg came off.
You know, you can keep your freudian theories to yourself.
I don't like her, I don't want her in my life.
I don't want anybody in my life! Stop putting those stupid thoughts into my head! Why would you tell him that? Just because becker dreamt he was with chris Doesn't mean he's attracted to her.
I mean, where do you come up with this stuff? Like that stupid skipper story.
Now all I can think about is, someone took my doll And I want him back so I can play with him.
Her.
Well, you know what I mean.
You had to tell me to ask chris out, didn't you? Well, thanks to you, she's in tears right now.
That's right, she said she could never go out with me Because I remind her too much of paolo.
That's right-- paolo.
Her first and only true love, Who died tragically in a tragic accident.
Poor kid was almost over it, too.
Then I came along with my dark, athletic good looks And this faux leather jacket.
You broke her heart.
Way to go, jake.
If I could see them coming, I'd hide.
You know what you need? Don't say "a little hair of the dog that bit me.
" Well, I don't know What kind of weird voodoo you're into, But I was just going to suggest a bloody mary.
Margaret, did the lab call back With mrs.
Kramer's test results? I typed them up and put them on your desk.
And did you submit the hmo forms from last week? I filled them out this morning.
What about the x ray machine? I called the repair company And they'll be here within the hour.
Good job, margaret.
Yeah, linda, don't just stand there.
At least look like you're doing something.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Well, I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by.
Linda said to, to come on back.
Oh, linda-- totally useless.
So how's your knee? Well, my knee's fine, But, uh, now I'm having some neck pain.
I don't know if I hurt it when I fell Or when bob tried to give me cpr.
Why would bob give you cpr? Oh, I think he just wanted to.
Here Let me show you where it hurts.
Actually, I have a better idea.
Is that a prescription for painkillers? No, it's the name of an orthopedist.
And here's the name of a good physical therapist.
And here's a referral for a new gp.
Why would I need a new doctor? I have you.
I don't want to treat you anymore.
Why not? Well, it's your insurance.
I can't accept it.
I'll pay cash.
Look, I'm very busy around here.
We're booked solid.
I can come after work.
I'm too tired after work.
Did something happen since the last time I was here? Yeah, look.
You had an emergency, I took care of that.
Let's just I don't want any new patients.
Let's just leave it at that, all right? So take your knee and your neck and get out of here.
Fine.
People say you're surly and obnoxious, But they're wrong.
You're just an ass.
My hair hurts.
Margaret, why don't you just go home? Oh, no, that's okay, I'll make it.
But I do want to thank you, linda.
You have really been on top of things today.
But it makes me wonder, Why can't you be like this every day? Because this was an emergency.
You see, margaret, I'm like that cute little spare tire, The one you use when the real one blows out.
Well, still, it's good to know that I can count on you.
Well, don't go crazy.
That little tire will get you to the next gas station, But it's a really bad idea to drive it cross country.
Got it.
(knocking at door) I have been thinking about it And I know why you won't see me as a patient.
I gave you, like, 30 reasons why.
But you didn't give me the real reason.
It's because you like me.
What? And you know what? I think I like you, too.
I have no idea why, based on the rude way you treat me, But maybe that's just your way of showing affection.
We'll have to work on that.
Uh, so Why don't we just cut to the chase, Go out, and see what happens? Who are you? What do you mean? I mean, what planet do you come from? Where is it that people act like you? You're, you're always so damn Happy.
It makes me sick.
I'm not always happy.
Yes, you are.
It's like you love everything.
I don't love everything.
Oh, good, good.
Fantastic.
Let's hear something you hate, anything.
I just need to know you're human.
Okay.
Fair's fair.
If I tell you something I hate, You have to tell me something you love.
Yeah, whatever.
All right.
You first.
No, no, no way.
You first.
Okay.
I hate that it's so important to you That I hate something.
Nah.
All right, um I hate when I get to the end of a really good book.
That's cheating.
You can't hate something you already like.
Fine, uh I hate my mother.
Wow, home run.
Why? Oh, because she never Oh, no, no, no, no.
You are going to have to work for that one.
Come on, your turn.
Something you love.
I love knowing there's something you hate.
Now, come on.
All right, all right.
Something Something I love.
All right, give me a minute.
Well, just No, no, wait, wait, wait Ah, ah.
All right, fine.
I love the way it smells after a rainstorm.
(laughs) Oh, you were serious? You know what? This, this is not going to work.
No, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I thought you were kidding.
No, really, forget it.
I think you should just go.
Is that really what you want? No, it isn't.
So, so now what? What are you, a dope? Now we kiss.
That was nice.
And a relief.
Why? Your leg didn't come off.
Easy, killer, it wasn't that nice.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Where, where are you going? Well, I made the first move.
Why don't you take some time and think about the next one? Wha? (knocking) Hey, becker.
What are you doing here so late? I just came to get a cigarette.
You came all the way here for cigarettes? They sell them everywhere.
Yeah, but these are already paid for.
Are you okay? Fine.
Are you sure? I mean, 'cause if there's Something you want to talk about I'm fine.
Okay, you're fine.
Oh, all right.
Chris just came over And she told me something she hated, I told her something I loved, and Then we had this really great kiss.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, I know.
Who knew she had those kind of feelings for me? Yeah, it's amazing how something like that Could go right past you.
Well, it's the last thing I need right now-- a relationship.
But I tell you She really gave me something to think about.
Well, becker I hate to make your life more complicated, But here's something else for you to think about.
Huh? Wha?