Best Friends Whenever (2015) s01e05 Episode Script
A Time to Rob and Slam
Add two more milliliters, add one more milliliter.
Okay, perfect.
This is the exact shade of purple I'm trying to find a purse in! That would so go with your this color jacket.
So, it's time to assign lab partners.
Oh, I call Shelbs.
We're awesome lab partners.
Look how well this bag goes with this jacket.
Actually, I'm gonna switch things up here.
I need some juicy gossip.
No one in the teacher's lounge wants to hear about lab partners who get along.
Huh, all they want to talk about is Mrs.
Jensen's new baby.
I can't compete with that.
Nobody thinks it's cute when I take an underpants picture in a flower basket.
Cyd, you will be with Tim.
Mr.
Doyle, not Shy Tim.
You can't even talk to him.
He dropped his wallet once and I tried to pick it up and give it back to him and he ran away.
It was the easiest 20 bucks I ever made.
So, yeah, pair me with Shy Tim.
You know, rumor has it, Shy Tim's a real chatterbox at home.
At least, that's what I heard.
Okay, then.
Man, Mr.
Doyle is way into gossip.
Everyone knows, Dishy Doyle loves the hot goss.
What are you talking about? I'm just wondering who my lab partner is.
Ah, I'm pairing you with Rob, who says he can dunk, but I've never seen it.
Okay, then.
Oh, not The Rob.
He's so obnoxious.
Hey, Shel-bow rhymes with elbow, Shelbo-elbow, the dweebo.
That doesn't rhyme.
Then you're Sheebo The Dweebo.
You got a clown name.
Look at me! I'm Sheebo.
I'm a Dweebo.
Better call the cops.
You just got robbed.
Trade with me.
I would, but Shy Tim's wallet's starting to poke out and I'm feelin' lucky.
Can you believe that the school is allowing us to watch movies at home during school hours simply because we called it "Independent Cinema Studies"? I believe a lot of things that happen.
Thanks for asking.
We're gonna have so much fun tearing apart Spark Dynamo! How can anyone be dim enough to actually like a movie about a space cowboy? You have the right to remain space dust.
I was charging my Spark Dynamo belt buckle.
The bigger they are, the harder they punch.
That's physics! I love that you put on that ridiculous costume to watch this ridiculous movie.
Are we watching a ridiculous movie? I thought we were watching Spark Dynamo.
It's the movie that both started and ended the space western craze of January 1993.
Wait, do you really like this movie, or are you making fun of it? Why would we make fun of it? It's the greatest movie ever made, starring my favorite actor, Vance Carroway.
On the DVD commentary, the director called him "the only actor I could get," and his mother called him, "An interesting choice.
" Hiya, guys.
Is this the Independent Cinema Studies? I almost walked past it, but luckily I kept my head up.
It's like my grand cousin Charlize says, "Always keep your head up and your enemies closer.
" So how did you find out about our little film group? We purposely didn't tell anyone because Well, how can I say this without making it sound bad? It's a Secret scam.
That's what you called it, Barry.
You also said not to tell anyone, which is why my lips are sealed.
I heard about it from Mr.
Doyle.
Ah man, Dishy Doyle loves the hot goss.
Marci, you're just in time.
We're about to watch Spark Dynamo.
Ooh, I've never seen that.
Oh, it's the best.
You really are serious about this? You like that movie? Oh, I don't like it.
Oh.
Phew.
I love it.
Aw, shuds! As soon as I said, "Phew" I knew what was coming.
Well, there's clearly only one way to settle this.
Fisticuffs? No, and I regret teaching you that word.
We will watch the movie with Marci and let her judge whether it's good or bad.
The universe is expanding, so in a way, we're all headed west.
There, see? I was right.
I see your point.
Whose point? Who does Doyle think he is, splitting me and Shelbs up just to create some gossip? Shelby and I do everything together.
And Tim, you should be with your girlfriend, Jane.
And look at poor Shelby over there.
Someday you can tell your kids, "Hey, kids, "I know you think my life has been one big pile of nothing, "but once in high school, I was lab partners with The Rob.
" Rob-five! Okay, look, we have to do this together.
Cool your jets, She-bo.
There's no together.
I'm way too hot for you.
When I'm eighteen, I'm getting a tattoo of my face on my face, so I'll be twice as good lookin'.
Rob-pose.
Rob, seriously Hey, you should get a tattoo of my face on your face.
It'll fix all that.
Shelby, you don't have to take this.
Slam him back! But I'm terrible at slams.
Every time I say, "Yo, mama!", it always ends with "is a very lovely lady.
" Hey Dwee-bo.
Let's try this on for size.
Now you're lookin' fine.
What happened to you over the summer? That's it.
I'm gonna drop him.
No, no, no.
I don't want you to get in trouble for me.
I'll try to slam him back.
Rob, you're so dumb, you left the light on in the bathroom, even though your mom told you to turn it off.
Why don't you listen to your mama? She's a very lovely lady! Slam! Eat them eggs! Thanks for the eggs, Dwee-bo.
The Rob loves eggs.
Num-num-num Rob-Blammo! See? I told you I'm bad at slams.
Mr.
Doyle, this whole lab partner pairing, is only for today, right? Nope, this is for the rest of the year.
Ooh, I'm gonna get some hot goss outta this.
I'm gonna eat Baby Jensen's lunch, which is strained peas and apricots now.
So, that, that's kind of weird.
Okay, then.
How am I gonna get through a whole year of The Rob? Slam him back.
It's the only way to shut him up.
But you just saw how terrible I am at it.
I'll train you.
We'll work on it for as long as it takes.
That's okay.
I'll just ignore him.
I'm She-bo the Dwee-bo.
That's you.
That's what you sound like.
Rob-personation.
Teach me.
Teach me everything you know.
All right, we're gonna train you to out-slam The Rob.
I'm forgoing all homework to focus on this.
You always forgo all homework.
Yeah, but this time, it's to focus on this.
You ready? I'm ready.
I put Rob's face on this punching bag.
Let him have it.
Let's do this.
Meanie! Nerd! Hit him harder! Loser! Butt-face! Chump! Faster! Dork, dummy, doofus, dingus.
You're stuck in the D's! Get out of the D's! Jerk, Webelo! That's a Boy Scout! Goozit! Cheesle! Pigpop! Now you're just making up words! Dork, jerk, butt-face, loser, chump! Nice combination! I think you're ready.
Now, let's jump back to this morning and give it to him.
Thanks for the eggs, Dwee-bo.
The Rob loves eggs.
Num-num-num Ew, next time you eat eggs off my face, Don't brush your teeth with a dog's butt.
Then stop wiping your butt with my tooth brush.
Standing Rob-vation! Uh, um You're not ready, you're not ready! You're so dumb, all you can do is lay eggs! Why am I yelling at a chicken? Chickens have the highest self-esteem of any animal.
If you can make a chicken cry, you can take down anybody.
Drum stick? More like dumb stick! Is it working? Is it crying? Who knows, it's a chicken.
Let's just go with yes.
Then stop wiping your butt with my tooth brush.
Standing rob-vation! Well, your girlfriend called, she said, "Ooh, ooh, ah, ah pick me up at eight.
" Yeah, well you can't even call your boyfriend because he gave you a fake phone number.
At least I got a phone.
Yours got disconnected.
Why didn't that work? You didn't say it right.
You forgot the "whaaat!" at the end.
Yours got disconnected.
Whaaat! Well, um, uh Great comeback, slack jaw.
You might want to close your mouth.
The flies are gettin' out.
Wha-what! Well, uh, I I'm tired of looking at this.
Shel-boom! The Rob's got better things to do.
The Rob out.
Shelby, you did it! You out-Robbed The Rob! Shel-blamo! Yeah, I out-Robbed The Rob.
What's the matter? This is what we've been training for.
I don't know.
It just doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.
I just got back from the copy machine.
I made this for baby Jensen's face.
That's what you kids do now, right? You put your face on other people's faces.
Okay then.
Okay, Barry, you think Spark Dynamo is terrible, and I think it's amazing.
So I will recreate the most epic action scene in the movie to prove my point.
Pew, pew, pew! Grr, grr, grr! Pew, pew, pew! Grr, grr, grr! Renaldo, you did it.
You proved it's a great movie.
Really? No! "Pew, pew, pew? Grr, grr, grr?" And then what happens? All right, you presented your evidence that Spark Dynamo is good, now I'll present my evidence that it's bad.
Meet the star of the movie, Mr.
Dynamo himself, Vance Carroway.
You have the right to remain space dust! Oh, my gosh! Mr.
Carroway, I can't believe you came to our school.
I'll do anything for my fans.
Now, I heard there was gonna be press here.
Because I need publicity so that I can crowd fund my new movie, Crabnormal Behavior.
It's about crabs who ain't acting right.
The press will be here later.
I believe you have something to tell my friend.
Yes, for $50, you can get a tee shirt with a crab on it.
For $75, you can get a crab.
For $100, I'll come to your house, I'll cook the crab.
I'll give you $150 if you say that thing we talked about.
Absolutely, my new Associate Producer.
Spark Dynamo is the worst movie ever made.
I don't understand.
You came here dressed as Spark Dynamo.
Uh, you were so good in it.
You're right, I was.
But the material wasn't nearly up to my talent.
See, I'm a classically trained actor.
I could have been Marcus Antonius saying, "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war," instead of Spark Dynamo saying, "Cry havoc and let slip the space dogs of space war.
" Wait a minute, that is very similar.
They stole Spark Dynamo from Shakespeare! Well, if Vance Carroway says it's a terrible movie, I guess it is.
You win, Barry.
You were right.
Wait, Renaldo, where are you going? We still have to pick the next movie for cinema studies! And remember Renaldo, in the words of Spark Dynamo, "Follow the yellow brick splart!" Which is stolen from Oh, you're kiddin' me.
How did I not put that together? Thanks, but I'm not hungry.
Oh, did you think Yeah, right.
One of these was for you.
But I guess if you don't want it, I could eat 'em both.
I thought taking down The Rob would feel great, but I still feel bad.
Don't worry about The Rob.
He slams people non-stop.
All you did was slam back.
That's just it.
I don't want to be like The Rob.
He's a jerk.
What's his problem anyway? What are we talkin' about? The Rob? He was a nice guy in middle school until that girl broke his heart.
A girl broke his heart? Last Valentine's Day.
Right here in this commons.
The Rob put his heart out there, and some ice-cold Felicia shoved it back in his face.
At least that's what I heard.
So, The Rob's a jerk because some ice-cold Felicia broke his heart.
Well, that's it.
We can jump back and keep that from happening.
The Rob won't become a jerk and I won't have to feel like a jerk.
This is perfect, Cyd.
I want to use time travel to help people, not to hurt them.
All right, there he is.
Now, let's watch and see which girl he goes up to and that's the ice-cold Felicia.
Then we'll figure out some way to stop her from breaking his heart.
To turn Rob into The Rob, she must've been horrible.
I can't even imagine what kind of sick, twisted monster she is.
Excuse me, Shelby, these are yours.
No, those aren't mine.
But I just wanted to Give them to the girl you like.
I'm rooting for you, buddy.
Um, Shelby.
Ooh, I wanna see which girl it is.
Oh, I'm the ice-cold Felicia.
It's always high noon on the sun! Well, I can't argue with that.
Hiya, Barry.
Sorry, Marci.
There's no more cinema studies.
Renaldo got all sad and then quit, and why are you wearing a skirt made out of garbage? It's a new thing I'm trying out.
Clothes made out of garbage.
My underpants are half a watermelon rind with a couple of leg holes cut in it.
You might think it's weird, but I like it.
You can't possibly like it.
But I do.
But you can't.
But I do.
But you can't.
But I do.
But you can't? But I do.
But you can't? But I do.
But you do.
This is just what happened with me and Renaldo.
It's not about whether the movie is good or bad.
If he likes it, that's all that matters.
Thank you, Marci, for opening my eyes.
But I didn't.
But you did.
But I didn't.
I'm not doing this.
But you are.
No! You really didn't miss out on much.
These are all coconut.
I can't believe I'm the one who broke The Rob's heart and turned him into a jerk.
How did you not know when he originally came up to you and offered you chocolates? He said they were mine.
Like I dropped them or something.
You know I can never tell if a boy likes me.
Hey, Ryan.
Some lucky girl's really gonna like those, huh? So, what are you gonna do about The Rob? I'll just thank him for the chocolates, let him down easy so his feelings aren't hurt, and everything will be fine.
We're going out this Saturday.
Oh, Shelby, you didn't.
He was so sad and it made him so happy.
And it's just one date.
And we can jump back to the present so I can skip over it.
It's like it never happened.
Phew, I hope that worked.
Shelby Yeah, you are, Shel-baby.
Let me eat some of those sweet kisses off your face.
Girl, you are Rob-dorable! What have I done? I really like that garbage skirt.
Can you make something for me? I do have another half a watermelon.
Sweet.
I could use some new underpants.
So Barry said you should walk through there.
Whoa, this place looks just like the Comet Cantina from Spark Dynamo.
You have the right to remain space dust.
Barry? You look just like That's right.
Spark Dynamo.
If I eat any more beans, I'll be a gas giant! Do you like Spark Dynamo now? No, no.
Oh, heavens, no.
It's a turd.
But I was wrong for not letting you enjoy that turd.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for dressing up so awesome just for me.
No, I'm humiliating myself just for you.
Well, I think it's pretty awesome.
In the words of Spark Dynamo, "Here's looking at you, Zorblob.
" That goat keeps eyein' my garbage skirt.
And why is there a goat in here anyway? It's a terrible movie! I can't believe I've been dating The Rob since Valentine's Day.
I can't believe there's a Space Cantina in the commons.
I'll have two of whatever the goat's having.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to hurt him.
I guess I'm gonna have to stay with him.
We'll get married and have two kids named Little The Rob and Little The Roberta.
And every morning, I'll make them eggs but they'll want to eat them off my face because The Rob loves eggs! Okay, maybe I was wrong to encourage you to slam him, 'cause that's not you.
But you shouldn't be dating him, either.
Yeah, you know what? You're right.
I'll just be nice and tell him, I can't date him.
Shelby.
Rob, we need to talk.
Me, first.
I'm dumping you.
What? You know, I was eating those kisses off your face and realized I was just fakin' it.
So The Rob is out! And I'm gonna need that shirt back.
I wanna give it to this little firecracker over here.
The Rob down.
The Rob down.
So pretty much in any timeline, The Rob turns into a jerk.
Yep, not your fault.
Then, can we go back and erase the timeline where I dated him? That's what I'm smackin' about! Quasar Kid! Who did this to you? Pew, pew, pew, pew! You know, Captain Capricorn, I think you and I are gonna be goat friends.
You said it, buddy.
Pew, pew, pew, pew! I love this movie.
But it's terrible.
Then you're gonna hate this.
Something's wrong.
Those crabs ain't acting right.
It's about crabs who ain't acting right.
We're going to see that? Are you kidding? Barry's an Associate Producer.
Okay, perfect.
This is the exact shade of purple I'm trying to find a purse in! That would so go with your this color jacket.
So, it's time to assign lab partners.
Oh, I call Shelbs.
We're awesome lab partners.
Look how well this bag goes with this jacket.
Actually, I'm gonna switch things up here.
I need some juicy gossip.
No one in the teacher's lounge wants to hear about lab partners who get along.
Huh, all they want to talk about is Mrs.
Jensen's new baby.
I can't compete with that.
Nobody thinks it's cute when I take an underpants picture in a flower basket.
Cyd, you will be with Tim.
Mr.
Doyle, not Shy Tim.
You can't even talk to him.
He dropped his wallet once and I tried to pick it up and give it back to him and he ran away.
It was the easiest 20 bucks I ever made.
So, yeah, pair me with Shy Tim.
You know, rumor has it, Shy Tim's a real chatterbox at home.
At least, that's what I heard.
Okay, then.
Man, Mr.
Doyle is way into gossip.
Everyone knows, Dishy Doyle loves the hot goss.
What are you talking about? I'm just wondering who my lab partner is.
Ah, I'm pairing you with Rob, who says he can dunk, but I've never seen it.
Okay, then.
Oh, not The Rob.
He's so obnoxious.
Hey, Shel-bow rhymes with elbow, Shelbo-elbow, the dweebo.
That doesn't rhyme.
Then you're Sheebo The Dweebo.
You got a clown name.
Look at me! I'm Sheebo.
I'm a Dweebo.
Better call the cops.
You just got robbed.
Trade with me.
I would, but Shy Tim's wallet's starting to poke out and I'm feelin' lucky.
Can you believe that the school is allowing us to watch movies at home during school hours simply because we called it "Independent Cinema Studies"? I believe a lot of things that happen.
Thanks for asking.
We're gonna have so much fun tearing apart Spark Dynamo! How can anyone be dim enough to actually like a movie about a space cowboy? You have the right to remain space dust.
I was charging my Spark Dynamo belt buckle.
The bigger they are, the harder they punch.
That's physics! I love that you put on that ridiculous costume to watch this ridiculous movie.
Are we watching a ridiculous movie? I thought we were watching Spark Dynamo.
It's the movie that both started and ended the space western craze of January 1993.
Wait, do you really like this movie, or are you making fun of it? Why would we make fun of it? It's the greatest movie ever made, starring my favorite actor, Vance Carroway.
On the DVD commentary, the director called him "the only actor I could get," and his mother called him, "An interesting choice.
" Hiya, guys.
Is this the Independent Cinema Studies? I almost walked past it, but luckily I kept my head up.
It's like my grand cousin Charlize says, "Always keep your head up and your enemies closer.
" So how did you find out about our little film group? We purposely didn't tell anyone because Well, how can I say this without making it sound bad? It's a Secret scam.
That's what you called it, Barry.
You also said not to tell anyone, which is why my lips are sealed.
I heard about it from Mr.
Doyle.
Ah man, Dishy Doyle loves the hot goss.
Marci, you're just in time.
We're about to watch Spark Dynamo.
Ooh, I've never seen that.
Oh, it's the best.
You really are serious about this? You like that movie? Oh, I don't like it.
Oh.
Phew.
I love it.
Aw, shuds! As soon as I said, "Phew" I knew what was coming.
Well, there's clearly only one way to settle this.
Fisticuffs? No, and I regret teaching you that word.
We will watch the movie with Marci and let her judge whether it's good or bad.
The universe is expanding, so in a way, we're all headed west.
There, see? I was right.
I see your point.
Whose point? Who does Doyle think he is, splitting me and Shelbs up just to create some gossip? Shelby and I do everything together.
And Tim, you should be with your girlfriend, Jane.
And look at poor Shelby over there.
Someday you can tell your kids, "Hey, kids, "I know you think my life has been one big pile of nothing, "but once in high school, I was lab partners with The Rob.
" Rob-five! Okay, look, we have to do this together.
Cool your jets, She-bo.
There's no together.
I'm way too hot for you.
When I'm eighteen, I'm getting a tattoo of my face on my face, so I'll be twice as good lookin'.
Rob-pose.
Rob, seriously Hey, you should get a tattoo of my face on your face.
It'll fix all that.
Shelby, you don't have to take this.
Slam him back! But I'm terrible at slams.
Every time I say, "Yo, mama!", it always ends with "is a very lovely lady.
" Hey Dwee-bo.
Let's try this on for size.
Now you're lookin' fine.
What happened to you over the summer? That's it.
I'm gonna drop him.
No, no, no.
I don't want you to get in trouble for me.
I'll try to slam him back.
Rob, you're so dumb, you left the light on in the bathroom, even though your mom told you to turn it off.
Why don't you listen to your mama? She's a very lovely lady! Slam! Eat them eggs! Thanks for the eggs, Dwee-bo.
The Rob loves eggs.
Num-num-num Rob-Blammo! See? I told you I'm bad at slams.
Mr.
Doyle, this whole lab partner pairing, is only for today, right? Nope, this is for the rest of the year.
Ooh, I'm gonna get some hot goss outta this.
I'm gonna eat Baby Jensen's lunch, which is strained peas and apricots now.
So, that, that's kind of weird.
Okay, then.
How am I gonna get through a whole year of The Rob? Slam him back.
It's the only way to shut him up.
But you just saw how terrible I am at it.
I'll train you.
We'll work on it for as long as it takes.
That's okay.
I'll just ignore him.
I'm She-bo the Dwee-bo.
That's you.
That's what you sound like.
Rob-personation.
Teach me.
Teach me everything you know.
All right, we're gonna train you to out-slam The Rob.
I'm forgoing all homework to focus on this.
You always forgo all homework.
Yeah, but this time, it's to focus on this.
You ready? I'm ready.
I put Rob's face on this punching bag.
Let him have it.
Let's do this.
Meanie! Nerd! Hit him harder! Loser! Butt-face! Chump! Faster! Dork, dummy, doofus, dingus.
You're stuck in the D's! Get out of the D's! Jerk, Webelo! That's a Boy Scout! Goozit! Cheesle! Pigpop! Now you're just making up words! Dork, jerk, butt-face, loser, chump! Nice combination! I think you're ready.
Now, let's jump back to this morning and give it to him.
Thanks for the eggs, Dwee-bo.
The Rob loves eggs.
Num-num-num Ew, next time you eat eggs off my face, Don't brush your teeth with a dog's butt.
Then stop wiping your butt with my tooth brush.
Standing Rob-vation! Uh, um You're not ready, you're not ready! You're so dumb, all you can do is lay eggs! Why am I yelling at a chicken? Chickens have the highest self-esteem of any animal.
If you can make a chicken cry, you can take down anybody.
Drum stick? More like dumb stick! Is it working? Is it crying? Who knows, it's a chicken.
Let's just go with yes.
Then stop wiping your butt with my tooth brush.
Standing rob-vation! Well, your girlfriend called, she said, "Ooh, ooh, ah, ah pick me up at eight.
" Yeah, well you can't even call your boyfriend because he gave you a fake phone number.
At least I got a phone.
Yours got disconnected.
Why didn't that work? You didn't say it right.
You forgot the "whaaat!" at the end.
Yours got disconnected.
Whaaat! Well, um, uh Great comeback, slack jaw.
You might want to close your mouth.
The flies are gettin' out.
Wha-what! Well, uh, I I'm tired of looking at this.
Shel-boom! The Rob's got better things to do.
The Rob out.
Shelby, you did it! You out-Robbed The Rob! Shel-blamo! Yeah, I out-Robbed The Rob.
What's the matter? This is what we've been training for.
I don't know.
It just doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.
I just got back from the copy machine.
I made this for baby Jensen's face.
That's what you kids do now, right? You put your face on other people's faces.
Okay then.
Okay, Barry, you think Spark Dynamo is terrible, and I think it's amazing.
So I will recreate the most epic action scene in the movie to prove my point.
Pew, pew, pew! Grr, grr, grr! Pew, pew, pew! Grr, grr, grr! Renaldo, you did it.
You proved it's a great movie.
Really? No! "Pew, pew, pew? Grr, grr, grr?" And then what happens? All right, you presented your evidence that Spark Dynamo is good, now I'll present my evidence that it's bad.
Meet the star of the movie, Mr.
Dynamo himself, Vance Carroway.
You have the right to remain space dust! Oh, my gosh! Mr.
Carroway, I can't believe you came to our school.
I'll do anything for my fans.
Now, I heard there was gonna be press here.
Because I need publicity so that I can crowd fund my new movie, Crabnormal Behavior.
It's about crabs who ain't acting right.
The press will be here later.
I believe you have something to tell my friend.
Yes, for $50, you can get a tee shirt with a crab on it.
For $75, you can get a crab.
For $100, I'll come to your house, I'll cook the crab.
I'll give you $150 if you say that thing we talked about.
Absolutely, my new Associate Producer.
Spark Dynamo is the worst movie ever made.
I don't understand.
You came here dressed as Spark Dynamo.
Uh, you were so good in it.
You're right, I was.
But the material wasn't nearly up to my talent.
See, I'm a classically trained actor.
I could have been Marcus Antonius saying, "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war," instead of Spark Dynamo saying, "Cry havoc and let slip the space dogs of space war.
" Wait a minute, that is very similar.
They stole Spark Dynamo from Shakespeare! Well, if Vance Carroway says it's a terrible movie, I guess it is.
You win, Barry.
You were right.
Wait, Renaldo, where are you going? We still have to pick the next movie for cinema studies! And remember Renaldo, in the words of Spark Dynamo, "Follow the yellow brick splart!" Which is stolen from Oh, you're kiddin' me.
How did I not put that together? Thanks, but I'm not hungry.
Oh, did you think Yeah, right.
One of these was for you.
But I guess if you don't want it, I could eat 'em both.
I thought taking down The Rob would feel great, but I still feel bad.
Don't worry about The Rob.
He slams people non-stop.
All you did was slam back.
That's just it.
I don't want to be like The Rob.
He's a jerk.
What's his problem anyway? What are we talkin' about? The Rob? He was a nice guy in middle school until that girl broke his heart.
A girl broke his heart? Last Valentine's Day.
Right here in this commons.
The Rob put his heart out there, and some ice-cold Felicia shoved it back in his face.
At least that's what I heard.
So, The Rob's a jerk because some ice-cold Felicia broke his heart.
Well, that's it.
We can jump back and keep that from happening.
The Rob won't become a jerk and I won't have to feel like a jerk.
This is perfect, Cyd.
I want to use time travel to help people, not to hurt them.
All right, there he is.
Now, let's watch and see which girl he goes up to and that's the ice-cold Felicia.
Then we'll figure out some way to stop her from breaking his heart.
To turn Rob into The Rob, she must've been horrible.
I can't even imagine what kind of sick, twisted monster she is.
Excuse me, Shelby, these are yours.
No, those aren't mine.
But I just wanted to Give them to the girl you like.
I'm rooting for you, buddy.
Um, Shelby.
Ooh, I wanna see which girl it is.
Oh, I'm the ice-cold Felicia.
It's always high noon on the sun! Well, I can't argue with that.
Hiya, Barry.
Sorry, Marci.
There's no more cinema studies.
Renaldo got all sad and then quit, and why are you wearing a skirt made out of garbage? It's a new thing I'm trying out.
Clothes made out of garbage.
My underpants are half a watermelon rind with a couple of leg holes cut in it.
You might think it's weird, but I like it.
You can't possibly like it.
But I do.
But you can't.
But I do.
But you can't.
But I do.
But you can't? But I do.
But you can't? But I do.
But you do.
This is just what happened with me and Renaldo.
It's not about whether the movie is good or bad.
If he likes it, that's all that matters.
Thank you, Marci, for opening my eyes.
But I didn't.
But you did.
But I didn't.
I'm not doing this.
But you are.
No! You really didn't miss out on much.
These are all coconut.
I can't believe I'm the one who broke The Rob's heart and turned him into a jerk.
How did you not know when he originally came up to you and offered you chocolates? He said they were mine.
Like I dropped them or something.
You know I can never tell if a boy likes me.
Hey, Ryan.
Some lucky girl's really gonna like those, huh? So, what are you gonna do about The Rob? I'll just thank him for the chocolates, let him down easy so his feelings aren't hurt, and everything will be fine.
We're going out this Saturday.
Oh, Shelby, you didn't.
He was so sad and it made him so happy.
And it's just one date.
And we can jump back to the present so I can skip over it.
It's like it never happened.
Phew, I hope that worked.
Shelby Yeah, you are, Shel-baby.
Let me eat some of those sweet kisses off your face.
Girl, you are Rob-dorable! What have I done? I really like that garbage skirt.
Can you make something for me? I do have another half a watermelon.
Sweet.
I could use some new underpants.
So Barry said you should walk through there.
Whoa, this place looks just like the Comet Cantina from Spark Dynamo.
You have the right to remain space dust.
Barry? You look just like That's right.
Spark Dynamo.
If I eat any more beans, I'll be a gas giant! Do you like Spark Dynamo now? No, no.
Oh, heavens, no.
It's a turd.
But I was wrong for not letting you enjoy that turd.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for dressing up so awesome just for me.
No, I'm humiliating myself just for you.
Well, I think it's pretty awesome.
In the words of Spark Dynamo, "Here's looking at you, Zorblob.
" That goat keeps eyein' my garbage skirt.
And why is there a goat in here anyway? It's a terrible movie! I can't believe I've been dating The Rob since Valentine's Day.
I can't believe there's a Space Cantina in the commons.
I'll have two of whatever the goat's having.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to hurt him.
I guess I'm gonna have to stay with him.
We'll get married and have two kids named Little The Rob and Little The Roberta.
And every morning, I'll make them eggs but they'll want to eat them off my face because The Rob loves eggs! Okay, maybe I was wrong to encourage you to slam him, 'cause that's not you.
But you shouldn't be dating him, either.
Yeah, you know what? You're right.
I'll just be nice and tell him, I can't date him.
Shelby.
Rob, we need to talk.
Me, first.
I'm dumping you.
What? You know, I was eating those kisses off your face and realized I was just fakin' it.
So The Rob is out! And I'm gonna need that shirt back.
I wanna give it to this little firecracker over here.
The Rob down.
The Rob down.
So pretty much in any timeline, The Rob turns into a jerk.
Yep, not your fault.
Then, can we go back and erase the timeline where I dated him? That's what I'm smackin' about! Quasar Kid! Who did this to you? Pew, pew, pew, pew! You know, Captain Capricorn, I think you and I are gonna be goat friends.
You said it, buddy.
Pew, pew, pew, pew! I love this movie.
But it's terrible.
Then you're gonna hate this.
Something's wrong.
Those crabs ain't acting right.
It's about crabs who ain't acting right.
We're going to see that? Are you kidding? Barry's an Associate Producer.