Best Friends Whenever (2015) s01e06 Episode Script

The Butterscotch Effect

Cyd, Shelby, I'm happy to do this experiment for you to see if a turtle can chew bubble gum, but as I explained to you before, the turtle you saw do it in that commercial is a cartoon.
He's totally gonna do it.
Get it, Kyle! Be the turtle that chewed! Go! Go! Go! Come on, we believe in you, Kyle.
Go! Go! Go! Technically, he didn't chew.
That bubble came out the wrong end.
Watching Kyle eat gum is making me hungry.
I wish we'd ordered a pizza earlier.
We can! It should be here any second.
You jumped back 30 minutes and ordered a pizza? Forty five.
Ray's car is always breaking down.
Here's your pizza.
Sorry I'm late, my car broke down.
Maybe you should get a new car.
Oh, hadn't thought of that every time my butt-faced manager tells me to get a new car.
If you couldn't tell, his name is Glenn, and I hate him.
You two shouldn't use time travel for such frivolous things.
Are you familiar with the butterfly effect? Of course I know what it is.
But maybe you could just explain it in simple, easy to understand language for the sake of anyone who may not know.
I know what it is.
Me, too.
Just let him explain it.
The butterfly effect is the phenomenon in which small actions lead to big consequences.
A butterfly flapping its wings causes a chain reaction that leads to a giant storm halfway around the world.
Around the world.
See? Exactly.
Now everyone's up to speed.
The point is, nine times out of 10, there may be no butterfly effect, but that 10th time, you could make a small change in the past that causes a huge change in the future.
Okay, we'll only use time travel for things that are worth the risk.
Like having seasonal beverages any time we want.
Or jumping forward to when those cute boots go on sale.
Aw, shuds! You did not just jump forward and get those boots.
That's, that's right, we didn't.
And this isn't a seasonal beverage.
Your eggnog moustache says otherwise.
One slice left.
Let's spin for it.
Yes! That why pizza slices are pointy.
Oh, no.
What's wrong, Barry? I just got a news alert that the famous scientist Dr.
Julius Fleming died.
He was my hero since I was a young laddie.
He was also Scottish, which is why I referred to myself as a laddie.
I'm sorry, Barry.
That's a shame.
Well, the real shame is he died of old age.
He should have perished like a true scientist, blasted by neutron radiation that turns him into a giant monster that ravages a small desert town until he's brought down by airplanes and tanks and the love of a foxy news reporter.
That's how I wanna go.
Aw! Barry's fantasy death has a romance subplot.
I can't believe I missed out on the chance to meet my hero.
I got to meet my hero.
One time, Abraham Lincoln came into my room at night and said we should go fishing.
Naldo, that was probably a dream.
Then how I did get this fishing license with Abraham Lincoln's name on it? I made fake fishing licenses for all the presidents.
I almost met Dr.
Fleming when I was in fourth grade.
He came to speak at the high school, but when the doors opened for his lecture, the big kids pushed me out of the way and I couldn't get in.
I never got to meet him.
And now I never will.
I guess I'm a little sad.
I got this.
Was that to take my mind off of Dr.
Fleming? Oh, no, there was a spider on your foot.
Oh, we should really get some ice on that toe.
Barry's really upset about Dr.
Fleming.
You know what I'm thinking? That we should jump back to the fourth grade so Barry can meet him? That exactly what I'm thinking! But you know what I'm worried about? That we could butterfly effect and make one little change that causes something really bad to happen? That exactly what I'm worried about! But you know how I'm feeling? A little nauseous from mixing pizza with eggnog? That exactly how I'm feeling! Shelbs, we got to do this.
This is one of those things that's worth the risk.
It's a chance to use our power to do something nice for Barry.
He's always doing nice things for us.
I know.
He made a turtle fart gum for us.
You're the man, Kyle! We should have realized jumping into our fourth-grade bodies would put us five blocks from here at the elementary school.
I can't believe you dragged me out right before snack time.
And it was pudding day, Shelby.
The only day better than "substitute teacher playing a movie in class" day.
Ooh, let's take a time selfie and see what we look like.
Oh, that was my hip-hop phase.
I was pretty fly for a fourth grader.
Why did I always wear pink? 'Cause you looked heck-a dope, son.
I love your hip-hop compliments.
They be fresh.
Why is Dad home, Chet? I don't know, Bret.
Boys, I Maybe we should ask him.
Boys, I Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it.
Norm, what are you doing home? Well, I just He doesn't want to talk about it.
I have the afternoon off.
So I thought I would come home, lie down and close my eyes.
Dad sounds sad.
Boys, your father just I think he misses his work friends.
I don't think he Let's cheer him up, Bret.
By taking him to the park, Chet! Full tackle football! All right, change of plans.
I'm going to play football in the park with my sons.
Be careful, honey.
The boys can get a little rough.
Oh, come on, Astrid.
They're kids.
How bad could it be? It can be really bad! Norm, you're responding to a question you asked before you left the house.
That's the last thing I remember.
Why don't you ever get hurt when you play with them? Oh, Norm.
Nothing could hurt more than giving birth to them.
No, don't! Oh! Dr.
Fleming's lecture starts in a few minutes.
But where's Barry? Hello, fellow travelers on science's grand journey! Oh, there he is.
Hello, fellow travelers on science's grand Hello, fellow I am making a lot of friends today.
It's happening just how Barry described.
We have to help him.
Let's change history.
If I can't get in, what chance do you have? You're as small as I am! I forgot we're fourth grade us.
My muscles haven't gotten jacked yet.
Hey, wait! Aw, shuds! Let's jump back and try again.
We're not going to take them by force.
We need to use the one thing guaranteed to distract high school kids.
Pizza! Everybody loves the pizza guy.
Excellent.
Thanks, Ray.
How did you know my name? It's my first day on the job.
I'm pretty stoked about it.
Got myself a new car, and I'm really liking my manager, Glenn.
In case you can't tell, I've a manager named Glenn and I really like him.
Hello, fellow travelers on science's Yeah, we don't have time for this.
How great are we? Barry's getting to meet his hero.
I can't wait to see how happy he is now.
I think we butterfly effected.
I told you if we played loud enough we'd get fans.
All right! I can't see them.
I have hair in my eyes.
What are you guys doing? Our band Heart Rocket is changing the face of rock.
I'm changing hats.
What's the difference? This one's on backwards.
It is! Ray, the pizza guy, what are you doing here? Uh, former pizza guy.
I quit to join Heart Rocket.
When I called my manager, Glenn, to tell him I was out of the pizza game, he quit too.
Now he's the butt-faced manager of our band.
In case you can't tell, his name is Glenn And we hate him! This is terrible.
This whole butterfly effect thing has changed their whole lives.
I mean, I love the splash of color in Barry's hair and I might try it sometime, but still, this is terrible.
Maybe we changed everything for the better.
Maybe they're going to be the world's greatest band.
Two, three, four Mom said! Mom said! Clean my room! Clean my room! Mom said! Nope, this is terrible.
That song's called Mom I Know I Said I'd Clean My Room, I'll Get To It Tomorrow.
Please Don't Dock My Allowance.
I wrote that one.
True story.
Barry, what happened to all your science stuff? I hate science.
Ever since I met my former "hero," Dr.
Fleming, I shared some of my scientific theories with him and he patronized, mocked and castigated me.
So I turned my back on science forever.
This one is called Why'd You Girls Bring That Up? He Was In A Pretty Good Mood Before.
Don't feel bad.
That song's not about you.
This happens a lot.
Two, three, four Why'd you girls! Why'd you girls! Bring that up! Bring that up! Why'd you girls do that? Why'd you girls! Why'd you girls! Why'd you Norm, the boys feel really bad about how banged up you got playing football.
We feel really bad.
About how banged up you got.
So we're just gonna let you stay here and nap and I'll go have father-son time with the boys.
No, no, no, I want to spend time with you guys.
Maybe football was a little rough, but there are plenty of other things we can do together.
Like softball.
And mini-golf.
And lunch.
From a well-reviewed restaurant! The only thing that could hurt is my wallet.
Oh, we laugh.
Let's go.
I'll take pictures.
I can't believe I got injured doing softball, mini-golf, and lunch.
I mean, I went to college on a lunch scholarship.
That was just a meal plan, Norm.
On the bright side, I posted those pictures online and you've become a meme.
Failure to Lunch.
Snack Attack.
And this one's just called Derp-wich.
Podcast! Podcast! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Podcast! Podcast! Kevin! Kevin! That one's called Why Do Only Seven People Listen To My Podcast.
I Mean, Kevin Was On The Last One And He's Really Funny.
Cyd, huddle up.
All right, so what's the game plan? Oh, so that's what goes on in huddles? I always thought it was more of a casual side hug.
I'm starting to think that Barry was right about this whole butterfly effect thing.
Their music is terrible.
We've ruined their lives.
Calm down.
Plenty of people have terrible bands in high school.
It's not like this band is their whole life.
It's official.
We're dropping out of high school to make this band our whole life.
Yeah! I'm with you, Barry.
I've been with this guy ever since I met him on my first day of school.
I get it.
I'll never be as close as you two.
Man! Shelbs, huddle up.
What's the game plan, Cyd? 'Cause that's what you do in huddles.
They're dropping out of school.
This is worse than we thought.
We have to go back in time and keep Barry from meeting Dr.
Fleming, make sure he doesn't turn out like this.
Sorry, Heart Rocket, time for you guys to never exist.
Aw! Wait, what? And you said I couldn't eat I said you shouldn't eat Oh, that makes sense, then.
Okay, we have to keep Barry from getting in and meeting his hero, no matter what happens.
Whatever it takes.
We cannot fail.
Aw, shuds! Well, that was easy.
RV lab, time travel laser, life-sized alien, we're back to normal.
Is it weird that that's normal for us? Teenage girls in my science lab? What could it mean? Do I greet them? Do I ask them to leave? I choose neither.
We didn't reverse the butterfly effect.
We made it worse.
And where did he get that fake accent? Ball-jankistan? This accent is the only voice that matches my internal bleakness.
Even my flatulence has lost hope.
When I break wind, it goes, "Why?" Barry, it's us.
Shelby and Cyd.
Forget it, we butterfly effected.
He doesn't even know who we are.
I know who you are, neighbor girl and neighbor girl's friend.
At least I think that's who you are.
I purposely wear the wrong prescription.
I find the eye strain challenging.
If Barry's like this, I wonder what happened to Naldo.
Barry, where's Naldo? Why would I know where he is? We have nothing to do with each other.
Aren't you guys friends? I have no friends.
Ha! Pardon me, that was a burp.
Even my belches have disdain for your silly questions.
We need to go back and fix whatever we did.
We can't live in a world where burps are has and farts are whys.
But we don't know what we did.
Why go back and risk making things worse if we don't even know what to look for? If a man were to eat his own stomach, would he be full? These are the things that I think about.
Come on, Dad.
You said we could do timber sports with you.
I know I banged my head a few times today, but there is absolutely no way I said anything about timber sports.
Maybe we said that to each other, Bret.
That does sound like us, Chet.
Take a knee, boys.
Guys, I've always had a good time with you, but we're all getting older.
And one of us can't keep up.
You got to take better care of yourself, Bret.
No, no, no.
I'm saying we just can't roughhouse the way we used to.
Maybe our days of playing together like when you were little are over.
We just wanted to spend time with you.
We were so excited you were home.
I like spending time with you guys, too.
I'll figure out something where I won't get hurt.
I have an idea of what we can do, Chet.
I like it already, Bret.
Oh! Boys, wait.
I can't get up.
Wow, hearing it out loud makes it real.
I've become one of those dads.
We made you a spa! It's relaxing and won't hurt you.
I know.
I was here the whole time you were setting up.
Can someone please help me? See? This seaweed wrap doesn't hurt, does it? Nope.
Doesn't hurt.
Smells like a mermaid's porta potty.
Where did you get it? From the docks.
I got to ride a tugboat.
Just leave it on for 45 minutes.
And your skin will be seaweed smooth.
Oh, Norm, you smell like an oyster's armpit.
Yep.
I just figured out a way to spend a whole hour with the boys without getting hurt.
Smell like a manatee's jock strap, but it made them happy.
That's so sweet.
When you're done, hose off in the yard.
You smell like squid diarrhea.
Huh! Naldo, there you are.
We've been looking for you.
Why? Am I lost? Ugh, not again.
We need to talk to you about why Barry is the way he is.
Attention, students! Today I will exact my revenge on the Science Club for preventing me from meeting Dr.
Fleming.
I have reprogrammed your creations to fall under my control.
Everyone relax.
It's a fake accent.
Now, face the robotic wrath of Barry Eisenberg.
Cliched Prank-Bot is my favorite.
Wedgie-Bot is my least favorite.
Barry, you have to stop terrorizing everyone! But look at the joy on my face.
Naldo, we need to figure out what's going on here.
Why didn't you and Barry become friends on your first day of school? All I remember from that day is I got on the wrong bus and ended up at the high school by mistake, and there were a lot of kids there to see some famous scientist.
But I don't remember anything about Barry.
Now can you please help me down from here? Don't worry.
Once we go back and change the past, this you will never get wedgied because you'll cease to exist.
Cool.
Wait, what? Get this, the day Barry and Naldo met is the same day we went back and messed around with.
We must have prevented them from meeting somehow.
Oh, we need to go back and fix it.
And quick, because Burnt Popcorn-Bot is about to Aw, shuds! Okay, so far so good.
But where's Naldo? That's probably him.
How do we know for sure? Hi, I'm Naldo.
Also, he's wearing a hat.
Floor pudding! Score! I need a spoon.
The Science Club will pay for this.
They set me on a path to supervillain-hood.
Look.
If it wasn't for that floor pudding cup, they would've noticed each other.
That's where they were supposed to have met.
So that how we butterfly effected.
All we have to do is go back and pick up the pudding cup before Naldo gets it.
I'm the girl for the job.
I've got pudding grabbing skills for days.
Hi, I'm Naldo.
The Science Club will pay for this.
They set me on a path to supervillain-hood.
Hi, there.
You seem sad.
Do you like salt and vinegar chips? Yes, I do.
We're gonna be good friends.
Hey, I can help you with the whole supervillain thing.
You know something, suddenly being a supervillain doesn't seem so important anymore.
I'm Naldo.
I'm Barry.
Is Naldo short for Renaldo? No.
From now on, it will be.
Our work here is done.
If we go back to the present and somehow Barry and Naldo are turned into vampires, I say we just Let 'em turn us.
stake 'em in the heart.
Wait, what? The butterfly effect is the phenomenon in which small actions lead to big consequences.
A butterfly flapping its Yeah, yeah, we get it.
We already learned our lesson.
You guys butterfly effected something? I cannot believe you would be so irresponsible Barry, relax, everything's fine.
It's not like I grew a third nipple or something.
Whoa! A third nipple? Oh, it just a pepperoni.
Renaldo, that third nipple talk has calmed my fury.
Once again, your cool head prevailes.
My cool head's why I wear a hat.
It's kind of sweet how Naldo's friendship keeps Barry from going off the deep end.
Hey, Barry, we're out of orange juice.
Can I drink this? Nope, that will make you explode.
Okay.
And Barry keeps Naldo alive.

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