Better Call Saul (2015) s03e01 Episode Script


1 Previously on AMC's "Better Call Saul" I just got Mesa Verde back.
Paige, the filing didn't go through.
There's some regulatory issues.
- Everyone makes mistakes.
- This was no mistake.
He fabricated evidence? - You wanna talk about this? - Not ever.
(horn honking) Major Theodore "Fudge" Talbot.
For a war hero, I think we can bend the rules a wee bit.
You do realize you just confessed to a felony.
I did it for Kim.
It's your word against mine.
[Lights clicking.]
[Door unlocks.]
[Nancy Sinatra's "Sugar Town" plays.]
I got some troubles - But they won't last - [Sighs.]
I'm gonna lay right down here in the grass And pretty soon, all my troubles will pass - 'Cause I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo - [Indistinct conversations.]
Shoo-shoo-shoo - Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo - [Bell dings.]
Sugar Town [Cash register printing.]
I never had a dog that liked me some Never had a friend or wanted one So I just lay back and laugh at the sun 'Cause I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo Shoo-shoo-shoo Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo Sugar Town Yesterday, it rained in Tennessee I heard it also rained in Tallahassee But not a drop fell on little old me 'Cause I was in shoo-shoo-shoo Shoo-shoo-shoo Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo Sugar Town [Unzipping.]
If I had a million dollars or ten I'd give it to ya, world, and then You'd go away and let me spend My life in shoo-shoo-shoo Shoo-shoo-shoo Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, Sugar Town [Woman speaking indistinctly over P.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la [Baby crying in distance.]
["I Wasn't Ready" plays over speakers.]
[Indistinct conversations in distance.]
[Man speaking indistinctly over walkie-talkie.]
[Conversations continue.]
Woman over walkie-talkie: They're coming up on Vinton and 20th now - Check over that way, would you? - Will do.
heading over to salvage and recycling.
Man over walkie-talkie: Copy that.
I'm about 5 out.
You see a guy in a corduroy coat go by? Sir? Sir.
Young guy, dark hair, corduroy coat.
How about it? Hey, Nick.
Come here.
Wanna come on out here? Go ahead and open your jacket for me.
I'm placing you under arrest, sir.
Put your hands on your head, please.
[Handcuffs click.]
Nick, you want to grab those for me? Nick: You got it.
[Police radio chatter.]
All right, let's go.
Nice job.
Say nothing, you understand?! Get a lawyer! [Breathes sharply.]
Get a lawyer.
[Bell dings.]
- Ladies.
- Sam: Hey, Gene.
Raquel: Nice lunch? Oh, yeah.
Whatcha need? Rolls about to come out.
You got it.
Jimmy: So, can I, uh, tell Howard you're not quitting or retiring or whatever? And can we take all this shit down off the walls? I'm gonna go call Howard.
You do realize you just confessed to a felony? I guess.
But you feel better, right? Besides, it's your word against mine.
[Dog barking in distance.]
[Clock ticking.]
[Door closes.]
Ugh! - [heavy breathing.]
- [Keys jingling.]
Jimmy: Absolutely.
Coming back.
What's it matter what I said, Howard? Why you lookin' a gift horse in the mouth? He just Yeah, well, whatever it was, he's over it now, all right? And by the way, you're welcome.
Well, Howard's breathing again.
You made him very happy.
Jimmy! Jimmy, if you're gonna help, a-at least use a little finesse, would you? "Finesse"? Whaddya Would Quit yanking at it.
You're pulling the varnish right off the walnut.
Not pullin' any varnish off the walnut.
You most certainly are.
Look! See? Well, maybe you shoulda thought about the friggin' walnut before you covered it in duct tape.
I don't need your help! I don't recall ever asking for it.
I'm sorry, okay? Finesse, fine.
Show me.
Like this.
- Gently - [Sighs.]
roll it with your thumbs.
Left, and then right.
See? Alternate the thumbs, up and down.
[Clears throat.]
Get a nice, tight roll going.
Chuck, I think you're the one that needs a nice, tight roll.
- [Scoffs.]
- Come on.
Show me.
- Gently.
- Gently.
- [Sighs.]
- Left, then right.
- Left, right.
- I get it.
Wax on, wax off.
"Karate Kid.
" Seriously? [Sighs, sniffles.]
Oh, my God.
"The Adventures of Mabel.
" I-I haven't thought about this in forever.
- You remember this, Chuck? - I do.
- Harry Thurston Peck.
- Yeah! Mabel goes into the mountain, and she meets the King of the Brownies, and he gives her some kind of super delicious jelly and [Sighs, clears throat.]
Holy crap.
Belonged to Grammie Davenport.
She wrote her name in it.
She was reading that to her schoolkids the year the Titanic went down.
And Mom read it to me.
I read it to you.
You don't remember.
Yeah, yeah.
I do, now that you say it.
What was I like 5 or 6? You had this weird night-light that you were so crazy about.
It was, um - It was Daffy Duck! - It was some Daffy Duck rip-off - with this weird red bill.
- Mouth.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, the bill.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it used to get so hot, we thought it would burn the house down, but - [Chuckling.]
- you wouldn't let anybody touch it.
Yeah, that's a You got a great memory, Chuck.
That red bill and everything.
[Snaps fingers.]
What was the name of that little girl that lived, uh, three houses up from us? - She had, like, a pageboy haircut.
- Jimmy.
And she was always in the dirt, always dirty.
- Jimmy! Jimmy! - I liked her.
She was always Don't think I'll ever forget what happened here today.
[Clock ticking.]
And you will pay.
[Foil crinkling.]
You didn't mention my garden.
Well, your garden is part of your backyard, so it's automatically included in the property that goes to Jenn.
It comes with the house, Mom.
Well, I think you need to mention it by name in case some dirty judge decides to play tricks.
Okay, we can do that.
[Pen clicks.]
Let's see.
- [Door opens.]
- Hey, I'm back.
Oh, hi, ladies.
Jimmy McGill.
Hey, Jimmy.
We are almost done here.
- Great.
Can I, uh - We're almost done.
I'll be with you in a minute.
And mention my lily pond.
It's in my garden.
Lily pond.
[Indistinct conversation in distance.]
- [Door opens.]
- Kim: Okay, ladies.
Jenn: Thanks so much for your help.
Oh, you're very welcome.
Thank you both for being so patient.
And, Mrs.
Aherne, if you or Margaret ever need anything from me anything at all you can call me day or night.
This is Mrs.
Siemasko and her daughter Jenn.
I'm sorry.
I got my wires crossed a little.
- Uh - Bye.
- Mrs.
Siemasko: Bye.
Thank you.
- Drive safe.
Okay, thank you.
[Latch clicks.]
You are a superhero.
I owe you big-time.
So, how's Chuck? Crisis averted I guess.
I mean, he's back to being - the same old Chuck, so - [Sighs.]
Wanna talk about it? Depends.
It may or may not involve that thing you said you never, ever wanted to discuss.
Okay, then, thanks.
I gotta get back to it.
How 'bout we call it a day? I'll buy you some dinner.
You're kidding, right? You realize how far behind I am? Not to mention now I've got eight entire wills to finish up.
Whaddya talking about? I'll do the wills.
- No, you won't.
- 'Course I will.
Do the wills.
They're my clients.
They're my clients.
You and I aren't partners, remember? Once I take these people on, I can't just reassign them to you.
Aw, c'mon.
Why you getting all, like, legal on me, huh? Who cares? Look, I told every single one of them the situation that they'd be getting me instead of you.
I tried to talk them all into coming back another day.
- Six of 'em left.
- Maybe you'll get those back.
I mean, look, if this is about the money, I have It's not about the money.
You can keep the money.
Don't act like I wanted this.
Jesus, like I need more on my plate.
Are you mad? I'm not mad.
I'm just, uh thinking about things.
For 10 minutes today, Chuck didn't hate me.
I forgot what that felt like.
Chuck: Jimmy.
You do realize you just confessed to a felony? Jimmy: I guess.
But you feel better, right? Besides, it's your word against mine.
That's the end of it.
Howard? - That's the end.
- Mm.
- [Tape recorder clicks.]
- [Dog barks in distance.]
Could you? Oh, yeah.
Well, now do you believe me? I don't even know where to begin.
But yes, I believe you.
Your brother is one world-class son of a bitch.
No offense.
I just I really wish you'd told me about these plans of yours before you went out and did it.
I know, Howard, and I regret misleading you.
It's just that a certain vérité had to be established.
I'm not talking about the heart attack that you nearly gave me.
Chuck, this tape I'm not sure exactly what it accomplishes.
Look, you know evidentiary rules better than I do, but a secretly recorded tape with a problematic chain of evidence? You're gonna have a helluva time getting that admitted.
I agree.
And if you somehow put it in front of a jury, Jimmy'd call a dozen audio experts, say that voice isn't his, say the the tape had been edited.
He would, indeed.
Are you thinking about playing this for Kevin Wachtell at Mesa Verde? Because as much as I would love to, that ship has sailed.
We're never getting them back, regardless.
Oh, I doubt we could even get in the door over there.
Chuck, if that tape is useless in a court of law and no help in the court of public opinion, what's the point? Because I can't think of a single use for it.
I can.
[Horn blaring.]
[Blaring stops.]
[Gearshift clicks.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Thunder rumbling.]
[Brakes squeal.]
[BadBadNotGood's "Can't Leave The Night" plays.]
[Machinery whirring.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
[Machinery whirring.]
[Hood creaks.]
Hey, mister, we're closin' in 15 minutes.
[Bird caws.]
Call me a cab, Will ya? What about your vehicle? Keep it.
Man: Five J's auto salvage.
Broadway, uh, at-at Bobby Foster's.
Yeah, ehr ehr ehr how is it again? Ehrmantraut.
Yeah, Ehrmantraut.
Just tell him to pull up to the gate and honk.
Okay, yeah.
[Receiver clicks.]
They're on their way.
Thank you.
[Inhales deeply.]
[Clicks tongue.]
You sell a gas cap for an '87 Caprice wagon? Should.
GM caps should be in the blue on the bottom there.
[Cap thuds lightly.]
[Car door creaks.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
[Pen clicks.]
[Barking continues.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
[Door opens.]
Now, you're sure I can't help you carry those to your car, Mrs.
VanKamp? - Don't be a silly.
- [Chuckles.]
I only hope I didn't take too much of your time with all my dusty old photos.
Goodness, no.
Your your grandson's wedding was gorgeous.
When I come back, I'll show you my niece's confirmation.
- [Gasps.]
- Wait'll you see the flowers! Ohh! - Roses.
- Uh-huh.
- Petunias, orchids.
- Yeah.
- They don't smell, you know? - Well And baby's breath and bachelor buttons.
- Okay.
- Lilies of the valley.
- Well, I'll believe it when I see it.
- [Chuckles.]
Daisies daisies don't tell.
Now I've got something to look forward to.
- [Chuckling.]
- Okay, bye-bye.
- Bye! - See ya! [Sighs.]
Uh, thank you for waiting so patiently.
Who do we have next? [Sighs.]
That'd be me.
Hello, hello.
It's so good to see you again.
I escorted you and your clients onto my base.
I treated you with hospitality and respect, and now I come to find every word out of your mouth is a damn lie.
Captain, please.
Why don't Sit down.
Take a load off.
Hey, I'll get you a complimentary coffee or a soft drink? And your so-called war hero, "Fudge" Talbott? No such person never was.
Granted, some artistic license may have been taken.
You entered government property under false pretenses, sir.
Whoa, whoa.
I am no expert on your procedures and your protocols and whatnot, so if if we failed to cross a "t" or dot an "i," I sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding.
N-no, no, no, it's not a misunderstanding! Just step back! B-big picture this, okay?! - It - What damage was done?! Hey, who was hurt, huh? What was damaged? The the base is still there, right? The B-52 is, I presume, still - B-29.
- Huh? B-29.
FIFI's a B-29.
I don't Oh, this is all just one big joke to you, huh? - You don't like the commercial.
- No, no, I don't, but this has nothing to do with the comm Well, constructive criticism is always welcome.
- But I didn't - But you should realize that most people find it uplifting - patriotic, even.
- No.
- You check your recruiting numbers.
- I-I-I I think you're gonna see an uptick, and you know what? If it turns out that Fudge wasn't actually in the war Fudge is not a person.
He wasn't in the war.
Well, neither was Tom Cruise, and look what "Top Gun" did for you.
You lied to me, you lied to my face, and I can't let you get away with it.
I-I think we just we're just gonna have to agree to disagree, so, uh, can I get you that coffee to go or? No, no.
I-I'm gonna tell you what's happening now.
You're gonna take that ad off the air.
And if you play that ad one more time, I'm gonna go to the Judge Advocate, and we will take you down trespassing, false representation, stolen valor the whole nine yards.
Seriously, for eight seconds of a TV commercial? You take that ad down, or there'll be hell to pay.
That clear enough for you? Make me.
- Yeah? - [Chuckling.]
- Make you? - Yeah, let's do this.
You bring your commander down here, and I'll explain to him how you let us on the base, red-carpet treatment.
No, b-because you lied your way in.
- Not how I remember it.
- What happened And I've got witnesses to back me up.
Do you like being an Air Force Captain, huh? You think the United States wants to bring action against an old man in a wheelchair?! He was standing on TV.
- He wasn't even in a wheelchair! - Well, yeah.
Well, periodically, he is.
And when he shows up in court, you better believe he'll be in a wheelchair! Right, because you're an ambulance-chasing piece of shit, 'cause you're all the same you're the same as all the others.
Always on a high horse.
Always trying to make me feel like I'm Look, um, I'm a lawyer, and this is what I do all day, every day, so h-how about this? I-I won't fly jet planes you, uh, stay out of court.
Does that sound good? [Scoffs.]
You know, guys like you you think you're so damn smart, and you think you don't have to play straight with anybody.
The wheel is gonna turn.
It always does.
[Door opens, creaks.]
"A lawyer you can trust.
" My ass! Thank you for your service! [Coughs.]
[Machinery whirrs.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Light clicks.]
[Lock clicks.]
[Engine starts.]
[Tires screech.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Vehicle approaching.]
[Engine shuts off, car door opens.]
[Car door shuts.]
3:30 in the morning? Seriously? [Paper rustling.]
You get me that? [Sighs.]
I don't know.
- It's a real thing? - Yeah.
Then, yeah.
I know someone who can get it.
- How much? - [Scoffs.]
What do I look like RadioShack? It's gonna cost you whatever it costs me, plus my end.
Well, let's start with that.
Normally, be about $500, but seeing that this is an after-hours house call, let's make it a grand.
Hey, how's the pup? Doing okay? Yeah.
She's not being left alone all day, is she? - She's got plenty of company.
- Good.
Hey, uh, this is gonna take me a few days, so I'll let you know.
And next time, let's try to make business happen during business hours.
[Car door creaks.]
[Engine starts.]
[Car door closes.]
[Engine starts.]
[Indistinct conversations, water rushing.]
Well, this will certainly help my Thursday PowerPoint.
That's a draft letter from Kevin to the Arizona regulator.
I know he likes the personal touch.
- He's gonna love it.
- [Chuckles.]
Oh, I can't believe you did all of this in three days.
Am I reading this right did you get the rehearing moved up? Yeah.
Those are three possible dates, pending your and Kevin's schedule.
The soonest I could get is the 4th.
You moved it up almost three weeks.
I'll give it another shot and see if I can do better.
- Are you kidding me? - [Chuckles.]
Kevin'll be popping champagne! I knew you were the right one for this.
Well, I appreciate the opportunity.
Yeah, you should have heard how that arrogant jerk spoke to me at the hearing.
Right there, in front of Kevin, he accuses me of muddying the waters muddying the waters.
I mean, he's the one who can't even get the address right.
Yeah, that's wow.
I know you have friends over at HHM, and they sure talk a good game, but come on.
Guys like that, when crunch time comes, it's always someone else's fault.
Paige? I'm sorry to interrupt.
It's almost 11:30.
Thanks, Greta.
I'll be right up.
So, are we still on for lunch Tuesday? Kim: [Chuckling.]
And, Paige, thank you for everything.
Paige: No, thank you for cleaning up that mess McGill left behind.
Actually, would you mind if I messenger that over tomorrow morning, first thing? I'd like to take one last look before we submit, just double-check a few things.
So, tomorrow, first thing? Absolutely.
- I'll see you, Paige.
- Okay, bye.
[Telephone ringing in distance, indistinct conversations.]
[Insects chirping.]
[Keyboard clacking.]
[Keyboard clacking.]
How's it coming in there? Good! [Keyboard clacking.]
- Don't mean to rush ya.
- No, it's okay.
I'm done.
[Printer whirring.]
Half a rainbow? Don't you want to keep going till you do the whole thing? No.
If you're done, I'm done.
You know, your clients seem to like that rainbow.
Think they're gonna miss it? Wait till they see what's going up next.
They're gonna love it.
You're gonna love it.
Yeah? Should I be worried? Nope.
Whaddya say we get the hell outta here? [Inhales deeply.]
Sounds good.
[Breathes sharply.]
[Door creaks.]
[Footsteps approach.]
You ready to hit it? Sorry.
I just need to check one thing.
[Keyboard clacking.]
It'll be two minutes, tops.
[Insects chirping.]
[Birds chirping.]
[Knock on door.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
Chuck: Ernesto.
Morning, Mr.
- They didn't have Fuji apples, - [Door closes.]
so I got you Honeycrisp.
- Hope that's all right.
- I'm sure it'll be fine.
Um, did you get the, uh Yeah.
I got them.
I went ahead and, um I figured I should maybe I wrapped them up you know, for safety.
That's very thoughtful of you, but I need them now, so, if you - You sure it's okay? - It's okay.
[Clears throat.]
[heavy sigh.]
Shit! [Breathing sharply.]
Ernesto, could you come in here, please? [Sighs.]
Thought I could do this myself.
Uh, would you mind, uh, changing the batteries? - Sure thing, Mr.
- Yeah.
Jimmy: I changed 1261 to 1216.
- It was me.
- Turn that off! - Turn it off! - Jimmy: It all went down - Turn it off! - exactly - [Button clicks.]
- Aah! You did not hear that! [Sighs.]
All right.
Okay, Ernesto [stuttering.]
that's my fault, not yours.
Um, but now that you've heard it, you need to understand something.
You know about confidentiality, right? As employees of Hamlin, Hamlin, McGill, you and I are both bound by the strictures of client confidentiality by law, both of us by law.
You understand what I'm saying? - So I'm not supposed to tell anyone? - That's right.
No matter who, no matter what reasons you think you might have, you must not you cannot tell anyone.
There could be terrible consequences life-changing consequences.
And we don't want you to get into trouble.
If something were to happen to you because of this, I'd feel sick about it.
Enough said.
I guess I'll go finish puttin' away the groceries.
Okay? Thank you, Ernesto.
[Drawer opens.]
[Tape recorder thuds lightly.]
[Drawer closes.]
[Keys jingling.]
[Lock engages.]
[Receiver beeps.]
- [Receiver beeps.]
- [Receiver beeps.]
[Car door creaks.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
[radio plays.]
Highs for Tuesday high temperatures will be in the mid-60s with 5-to 10-mile-per-hour winds, but expect scattered showers Tuesday night with lows in the 40s.
Wednesday will be partly cloudy with high temperatures in the mid-50s.
The Grants area will have temperatures in the mid-40s, with south-west winds 15 to 20 miles per hour.
Now let's get back to more of your favorite "Sound Souvenir Oldies" with "The Steve Ricketts Program" on KDSK, 92.
7 FM.
Thank you, Derek.
Love those temperatures it's almost like [slowly fades out.]
[Morrie Morrison Orchestra "Memory" dips in and out on the radio.]
Taunting me a memory Like a haunting melody This memory [Static crackles.]
Memory Wanting always to be free Is there nothing left for me [Static crackles.]
[Crackling stops.]
[Insects chirping.]
- [Sighs.]
- [Light switch clicks.]
[Light switch clicks.]
[Dog barking in distance.]
[Pistachio shell clatters lightly.]
[Pistachio shell cracks.]
[Pistachio shell clatters lightly.]
[Pistachio shell cracks.]
[Pistachio shell cracks.]
[Pistachio shell clatters lightly.]
[Pistachio shell cracks.]
[Pistachio shell clatters lightly.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Vehicle door opens.]
[Vehicle door closes.]
[Receiver beeps.]
[Car door creaks.]
[Engine starts.]
[Brakes squeal.]

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