Billions (2016) s04e08 Episode Script

Fight Night

1 [Bonnie.]
Previously on Billions This place doesn't feel very much like a home to me right now.
Don't put our home up for sale.
A very interesting set of permits just got expedited.
The beneficiary? One Charles Rhoades, Senior.
Qatar State Bank is going to be taken off the restricted list and it's ready to give you a sweetheart of a loan.
That does bring a grin.
Are you sure about this? [Chuck.]
Got it straight from the Secretary Of The Treasury.
What do Jock Jeffcoat and his disciples have on you? Jock threatened to freeze funds, delay funds, yank funds.
Axe is coming for you now.
He said you chose your father over your business.
I'm sorry it worked out this way.
My enemies seemed to have found a way to aim the government at us like a nuclear weapon.
Do you have any fucking idea what you've done? - Hey! - Leave her alone, you fucking goon! Fuck you, Bill! I am gonna kick your ass! Let's do it in the ring then, fucknut! Any time, any place, motherfucker! You're a garbage person, Wendy.
That's what you are.
It's what you all are! [dramatic music.]
Dudley Mafee and Dollar Bill Stearn shall meet in this cathedral of la dolce scienza, in a bout of pugilism to satisfy grudges, to excite the imagination of the sporting public and in the good name of charity.
Shall we discuss glove weight? Let's go with 8's.
See some blood.
No headgear, of course.
Of course.
Gotta see the punches land.
Then it's 16's, jackass.
Do you want them to break their moneymakers? Fine.
As for the purse and ticket sales Sixty-forty to the winner, allocated to the charity of their choice.
That's a gutless split, Wagner.
But then, it's gonna be a sad day in Palookaville when your washed-up Louis meets his Marciano.
I've known that traitorous dog Mafee for many years, and I promise you, that jaw of his is fragile as Murano blown glass.
Blown Glass, that was your fraternity nickname wasn't it? Nope.
Algonquin Ass-Eater.
Screw it.
Winner take all.
Care to make a side wager? [Wags.]
Fifty grand? Thanks, Sparky.
[Led Zeppelin's "In The Evening".]
Wake up.
[gasps, mutters.]
[Dollar Bill.]
The fuck are you doing? Sneaking in here like Versace! Versace was the victim.
Cunanan was the killer.
We're here to make you the killer! - Bill, who are these men? - [Jocko.]
Nothing to fear, miss.
We're just gonna turn your husband into a man.
In the evening Lock and load.
This isn't the easy path! This is the warpath this is your attack on the day! I can't feel my face.
The effects of a sedentary lifestyle.
- Push through it.
- We all have dragons to fight! When you can't feel your face, that means you need to go harder! Tut tut.
[breathing heavily.]
Play you for a fool Bubbler, one-hitter, indica vape, sativa vape, gummies, tincture, Long Bong Holmes.
This one is 20-1 THC/CBD, great for creative thinking.
And you want this one which has a ratio of 100-1 for sleep.
I'm in training now so I have to off-load all my jazz cabbage.
Use 'em in good health.
And get the fuck out of here before anyone shows up for work.
Awesome, dude.
Much appreciated.
Very sick.
Actually One won't hurt, right? I mean, it might, right? - [mid-tempo music.]
- [elevator dings.]
Top o' the morning.
[foghorn blows.]
[breathes deeply.]
You gonna get to it? - Huh? - We just warmed up, ran the whole loop and you haven't said shit.
- [scoffs.]
- The absolute last thing I need is a jogging buddy who's less talkative than Ghost Dog.
I didn't sign up for the coffee klatch run.
You don't have a lot of female friends, do you? Some.
I just I just don't keep up with them very much.
Guy friends are easier.
Once you make it clear that you won't be smashing, they're like herding puppies.
How are you getting out of bed? Mafee eviscerated you in front of everyone.
After you'd already been wrecked by your husband on TV.
Well, Mafee I actually earned that.
Fuck no.
Mafee's a child.
And the shit he said to you was fucking abusive.
I don't know what happened, but whatever it was, you were protecting Axe Cap.
And you held firm as fuck.
Thank you.
I'm glad if it seemed that way.
But I'm not really holding very firm.
In any way.
But if I try to talk it out any more right now I think You'll collapse? [exhales sharply.]
Well we can't have that.
That's probably enough sharing for today.
[dramatic music.]
[knock on door.]
Got you the usual.
Chai for you and a double espresso for pops.
Only the chai.
You no longer have to remember the other order.
In fact, I'd prefer you stop bringing it.
[door closes.]
- [door closes.]
- Ah.
- [pan thuds.]
- [keys clatter.]
Thought you might be in need of a hearty breakfast after your run.
Even got that bread you like from She Wolf.
This is all either too soon or too late.
Or maybe it's just a moment of warmth, of connection.
To show you I appreciate It's like the end of Speed-The-Plow.
Remember we used to see plays together? "Would you of gone to bed with me, I didn't do your book.
" I can't separate the gesture from the situation.
And what is the situation, exactly? You don't want us to sell the house.
You want me to remember it's "home.
" But that couple wants to make us an offer.
And if they come in at our number, I want us to take it.
[soft music.]
It is "home.
" - For us and the kids.
- It was.
They want to come back and see the place.
We need to make it available one night this week.
[dramatic music.]
[knock on door, door opens.]
- Live auction? - Yep.
I'm now the proud owner of Lot B34750942D.
For 860.
But worth it if this goes the way we hope [dramatic music.]
[Scott Wapner.]
Let's talk fracking [Taylor.]
Nothing to say, since it's been banned.
But refining natural gas products that have been fracked elsewhere is still legal in this state.
So why do you want to be short the refiners? Over time they're a loser.
This bullshit is going to crush our position.
Taylor's driving it down on purpose.
To frag us.
The bill in the state legislature right now to ban fracking I'm betting it passes Fossil fuels are a dead end.
As was my time at Axe Capital.
[Scott Wapner.]
What was the story there? You were at one of the most successful funds ever The Celtics were dominant for a long time, and then they weren't.
And Bobby Axelrod is no Larry Bird.
[Josh Brown.]
So you went out on your own.
- That's a big move.
- I wasn't going to stick around while that company ran itself into the ground.
I was going to launch a new thing into the stratosphere.
[Josh Brown.]
Wait Are you saying that Axe Capital is driving itself into the ground? Bobby Axelrod was my teacher, so I have a certain amount of nostalgic respect for him.
But he's a dinosaur.
Like any good student, [Taylor.]
I learned what I could from him and moved on.
The smart money will do the same.
The smarter money will do it first.
Enough of this fucking horseshit.
You need to cut the head off of this snake right fucking now.
This aggression will not stand Okay.
Personal attacks aside, thoughts? [scoffs.]
I'll say it since the rest of you are wimpier than George McFly at prom: We've got to get out of our New York refinery positions.
No, Bonnie.
That's just one investor talking.
We can push back.
We'll win this thing.
Wags, figure out how to use lobbyists to move the legislature through regular political channels.
Victor, figure out how to move 'em your way.
Albany's completely split on the issue.
It'll likely come down to the governor, and he's agnostic.
The Street is split too.
Do you have intel? - Not intel.
- I'm confused.
You're jumping into the scrum with the score tied.
Based on percentages, we could get killed.
And you just put a target on us.
This isn't just about the refineries, is it? Correct.
This is not the time to sit back and lick our wounds.
We need to go on the offensive, dictate the action.
I've never seen you like this before.
Like? Cold.
Openly vindictive.
You've also never seen them cut off their own father's head before Uh, shit, sorry No.
You're right.
I wasn't born with a broadsword in my hand but I was forced to learn how to wield one, so I did.
And now I'm going full Sir Tristram de Lyones until I pierce Axe's shield and drive it into his motherfucking heart.
[door opens.]
[door closes.]
I do like the war talk I've been thinking about how they set me up.
Replaying it.
I can't believe how they targeted the strike so precisely.
That Wendy was that cold.
She built a psych matrix on you over years.
That's how she knew exactly how to hurt you.
That's right.
She used everything.
It will not go unreciprocated.
Hang back for now.
We need all our focus on the refineries.
[dramatic music.]
[Josh Brown.]
Axe, I'm so sorry, I had no idea that was gonna happen.
Wh What was I gonna do? I couldn't stop it.
It was good TV, I'm not blaming you.
But you've got to give me equal time tomorrow.
Shouldn't be a problem.
One snake's head ready to be chopped.
- [Chuck.]
Brief me.
- Head of the Board of Elections is deciding whether to allow blockchain technology voting from mobile phones.
You could've delegated this to me.
Business of elections is my bailiwick.
Got a hanging chad framed in my study.
You would, Colonel Jackboot.
Nothing like suppressing the voice of the disenfranchised No, we should let people too lazy or stupid to even register vote from their cell phones, so fraud runs rampant This needs to be punted down the road until tech and security concerns are better vetted, so let's just button it up with a quick 'no' Chuck, welcome.
I thought this was to be our meeting - [door closes.]
- My apologies, Chuck, but I'm here on behalf of the DOJ, which has grave concerns about mobile voting Uh.
You mean Jock Jeffcoat does.
Yes, he does.
Given our heightened issues with cybersecurity should we really trust our entire electoral system to mobile voting? I admit, I share the Attorney General's objection.
[clears throat.]
Well I have an equally pressing concern democracy.
And inclusiveness.
Which is why it's vital we approve mobile voting [Chuck.]
This is about more people voting.
Which is the American ideal.
It's about what's right.
Which is your board's mandate, Hap.
Let us seize this opportunity to be true patriots.
To bring a voice to those without one.
I propose a-a pilot program to test the efficacy of mobile voting We're all moved.
Our hankies are damp.
Well, strong men also cry, ya know? [chuckles.]
Not really crying, Chuck.
We're looking to rule against.
But thank you for dropping by.
Yeah, thanks for coming in.
[dramatic music.]
[door opens.]
Perhaps you got to me T.
, with your brimstone.
And perhaps donkeys will sprout wings and fly to heaven every time a fat man burps.
- Hmm.
- No, this is a litmus.
You want to know what's behind Jock's opposition to it.
He doesn't do anything by accident.
You know.
Moments like this remind me of Morgenthau.
Robert Morris? Hallowed name.
One of the greatest ever to hold my office.
Before becoming DA for life.
He came to mind because of what we could be doing here.
Instead of stopping people from voting.
You trying out for community board rep? Are you trying out for Sturmbannfuhrer? I was following a direct order from my superior Exactly what Herr Adolf Eichmann said when they caught him in Argentina Don't speak any more German at me.
Jock told me to go shut it down.
What should I have done? In American then? Refuse the order.
Like Dawson and Downey should've with the code red.
Just Mm.
Donna said you wanted the Sunday Salad.
Now I know what keeps you so fit.
Fucking uncharitable, Chuck.
- What do you want? - Open and fair elections.
Well, I'd like to tap dance like Gregory Hines.
But I have neither the shoes nor the rhythm to pull that off.
You don't have the will.
But I do.
Time to get my blockchain voting pilot program out of the gates.
Ah, you're not gonna get a fucking pilot program.
Why so strong against this? Do you like Jock that much? Dislike you that much.
My wife.
Lovely woman.
Every year for the past 23 years I take Cheryl to Aruba.
She relaxes down there, we reconnect down there.
But this year you decided to indict 30 of my best friends, in Albany, merely for doing what every state senator's been doing for the past hundred years favor trade for the betterment of the state.
And now I'll be lucky if the wife and I can catch the bus to Belmar.
Your thirty crooked legislators aren't around to hit you with those tasty Lulus anymore, and you're facing a celibate stay-cation and that's my fault? I I didn't say any of that.
But I do share the DOJ's concern with election security, so I'm leaning into my veto power.
Something I learned from the old Westerns: If you're gonna make a show of strength, you wanna be sure you're the real strongman in the room.
Or you make sure that that guy steps into the fight for you.
Jock did get to you.
Why is this so important to him, do you think? [fingers tap.]
[dramatic music.]
[sighs, chuckles.]
Chew real good, make sure not to choke on your cud.
And go buy those tap shoes.
Cuz sure as you're standing there, I'm about to make you dance.
[door closes.]
- Thank you for coming.
- My pleasure.
- Please.
- Thank you.
Are you sure you're ready for this to become public? Because that will inevitably happen if we continue on this course.
The truth needs to come out.
And now it's our distinct pleasure to have legendary Wall Street operator from Axe Capital Michael Wagner here with us to light this year's tree.
[cheers and applause.]
Stacy, thank you.
It is an honor to be here for this great Wall Street tradition.
And for another great tradition, come see this man at a charity boxing match - for a great cause.
- [cheers and applause.]
And now [All.]
5, 4, 3, 2, 1! - [Wags.]
Let there be lights! - [cheers and applause.]
Risin' up, back on the street [Hammon.]
Embrace the pain! Did my time, took my chances - Is that all you got?! - Yeah.
Show me what you've got, Mafee! Go! Get up there! You got to dig a little deeper! - [groans.]
- Dig a little deeper! Come on! How much longer? How much longer? Are you serious right now? We're just getting warmed up! - It's the eye of the tiger - Keep that up.
It's the dream of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival Keep your damn hands up! And the last-known survivor stalks his prey in the night - Ah! - Go, damn it! Go harder! I want you to hit him so hard, I want you to feel the bones crunch up in his face in your fist! - Ah! - There you go.
He's gonna feel that one for sure! Face to face, out in the heat Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry They stack the odds till we take to the street You got it, Bill.
with the skill to survive [Jocko.]
There you go.
It's the eye of the tiger You start hitting the bag yet? Risin' up to the challenge of our rival - You got this! - That's it.
You got it! It's all up here! - Come on! - [groaning.]
Let's go! And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger [moans.]
[exhaling sharply.]
Come on.
This is the best thing for you.
[breathing heavily.]
The eye of the tiger Well.
You're supposed to be the retail specialist.
So find me the goddamn shares off exchange Jerry or I'll get someone who fucking will.
Rough morning for Jerry.
Made my first move on Saler's.
I bought up 8%.
I saw that on the tape, figured it was you.
Problem is, is that I need over 10% to force the takeover vote and if I keep sucking them up in the regular market, I'll drive the price through the roof.
I'm trying to have my guy gather shares from high net worth families and indexes.
Well, you know.
Maybe, just maybe this is the universe sending you a message and you should go ahead and receive it: That this company's not for you.
The only message the universe sends me is that it's gonna keep expanding for a while, so I might as well expand too.
Look, if anyone can turn this chain around, it's you but why? There are healthier businesses.
Better choices.
You know I grew up in a small town.
End of the road shit town is what you called it.
When I was a little kid and that catalog came in the mail it was evidence that there was a bigger world out there.
Full of everything you could imagine.
Whatever I could think of, they sold it.
But you wouldn't wear or use anything they sell now.
That's why I'm going to turn this bitch around.
So people love it like I did.
You know, I used to wonder why I got so rich Yeah.
Me too.
You actually come up with an answer? Yeah.
So I could do this.
Show young girls that they don't have to just dream about shopping at some department store.
They can buy the whole company.
[dramatic music.]
Then go do it.
Dad, I need you to juice me in with the tribe.
Son, I'm surprised.
You've worked alongside the Hebrews your entire career.
You know, there was a nasty rumor once about my grandfather being of Ukrainian extraction No, Dad.
The Cayuga Iroquois.
My casino Indians? [groans.]
A mere three-word sentence, yet myriad problems with it.
You partnered with them on the land around the casino in Kingsford.
Yeah? Are you still on good terms? Couldn't be better.
What is this about? Blockchain voting.
From cell phones.
My man compiled a list of groups that applied for mobile voting.
As it turns out, people want to vote.
The results of those requests though: Military overseas, denied.
Rural townships, denied.
- Indigenous peoples.
- Like my Indians.
I don't care to correct you again 'cause it'll just make you go darker.
I want to set up a pilot program to help them.
And to fuck Jock.
For that, I will set up a meeting.
Thank you.
The vigorish serves the poor, the hungry, those that none of you actually care about, but the winnings the blue cheese, or white meat or cake that goes to you.
The book is open.
You can buy a round, you can buy time on canvas.
All action booked, booked and paid.
[high-pitched voice.]
Pay the doctors, boy.
Thank you.
Me? You seem fit.
I need you to hit me.
Uh, no.
Don't worry, I won't hit you back.
You'll be doing me a favor, I need to practice my head movements.
Wing some hooks at me.
I took piano.
What? You're worried about your dainty hands, like you're a fucking neurosurgeon? I'll do it.
Come on.
Let's go.
[mid-tempo music.]
Who wants a parlay? Who wants odds? Who wants Okay, I'm going to bob and slip - Ahh! - [elevator dings.]
[both grunting.]
What's the thing? Dollar Bill is sparring.
With Bonnie.
If she was going in the ring, this thing would be over in the first round.
By knockout.
I can't go out there.
Not like this It's okay, Baby Billy.
You're kinda fucked up about this, huh? If you can connect on me like that, what's gonna happen in the ring? I sucker-punched you.
And I only landed a few dozen after that [exhales sharply.]
But I knew you wouldn't hit back.
Mafee won't have that luxury.
I know but[sighs.]
he's got the young legs, and a longer reach and And those younger legs.
Now that's just downright mean.
I just want to carry the Axe Cap torch, you know? Win for you guys.
Mafee may have youth on his side, but so did Donny Lalonde when he lost the title to Sugar Ray Leonard.
I'm Sugar Ray? Totally.
You're gonna win because you've got more heart.
We're dead.
- [groans.]
- [knock on door.]
Your visitor from the Medical Board is here.
Send him in.
So good to see you.
Sit down.
Thank you for making the time.
Happy to.
Whatever you need.
Some questions.
What is your exact title? Performance coach and Head of HR.
And you prescribe medication? When necessary.
And you have private one-on-one sessions with employees here? With some.
For some it's just occasional, others not at all.
We don't force anybody.
[dramatic music.]
And how personal would you say these sessions are? You're not here to ask me to speak at a conference, are you? Forgive me.
I should have been more clear when I called.
Rhoades, your medical license is under review.
I'm sorry.
Why? There have been accusations of malpractice.
Ethical misconduct, misuse of confidential records.
At this time, I'm not permitted to disclose the source of the allegations.
You have rights.
Eventually you will appear before the Board for a hearing.
We will decide whether or not to revoke.
[dramatic music.]
[mouse clicking.]
You here to prep me on Halftime Report? What's the matter with you? You're not the only one Taylor took aim at.
They reported me to the Medical Board.
I might lose my license.
- You're going to fight this.
- Am I? I almost spilled everything.
I didn't, obviously.
I thought about what you would do and kept my mouth shut.
Good! But if I was on that board, I'd strip me.
I'd skin me.
I wasn't careless with my records, and I didn't just hover on the sideline while you and Chuck executed some revenge move.
I drew up the play, called my own number and ran it myself.
- Are you done? - I violated a patient's trust.
Taylor attacked, and you just stood your ground It's what we do.
So self-immolate later.
Or better never.
You are Doctor Wendy Fucking Rhoades.
No one's taking your license.
And even if they did what does it matter? You're still the best at what you do.
Thank you.
Oh, we were supposed to be prepping Halftime Report.
Don't worry about it, I know what I want to say.
Axe, so I'm sure you know, Taylor Mason was just on the show.
Taylor's got a sharp mind.
I saw it right away, cultivated it.
Unfortunately I had to show them the door [Axe.]
once their ethics became clear.
What are you saying? Be more explicit.
That they're dirty? - Oh come on, that's bullshit.
- Put it this way: you either want to be in bed with the Russian oligarchs or you don't [Josh Brown.]
Didn't Taylor meet him through you? [Axe.]
Yes, and when I refused to take his money on board, [Axe.]
because I didn't feel good about where it came from, Taylor didn't hesitate to grab it.
And then they lost all the money anyway.
Look, look, a person who'd sell out their own father there's a chip missing there, you know what I mean? [Josh Brown.]
You got specifics on that? Well.
There was a rumor you know, their their father had a company, and Taylor flipped it for their own profit.
Bottom line is this, it's a relationship business.
Now, they can call me a dinosaur if they want, [Axe.]
but loyalty is still a very important quality to me.
And Taylor Mason, unfortunately, is someone you can't trust.
Really great to have you on We appreciate it.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
It's been great having - [Scott Wapner.]
Yeah? - [chuckles.]
- Taylor just called in.
- Axe, we did not plan this.
I swear, we would never ambush you.
[Josh Brown.]
You want to get out of here? No.
Put them on.
It'll be fun.
- Ready? - Ready.
[Josh Brown.]
Taylor, welcome back.
[Josh Brown.]
I know you want to respond to some of these things Axe is on the defensive because he knows he's dead wrong about the fracking refineries.
We've all heard the horror stories: [Taylor.]
lightning coming out of faucets, earthquakes.
New York State banned fracking because it's not safe to take the stuff out of the ground.
So why's it a good idea to truck it in from Pennsylvania? Taylor, you're smarter than that.
The whole flames thing is an urban legend, [Axe.]
this whole thing is safe, [Axe.]
and you don't care about safe anyway.
- You're just talking your book.
- Yeah.
That's more your style, Axe.
I talk numbers and facts.
I don't lobby behind the scenes.
Or pretend I fired someone who bested me every which way.
Besting me? Is that what you're calling lying and pilfering? With nothing to show for it, by the way.
You mean besides the Firefighters Fund? [Taylor.]
The jewel in your crown, and they came to me.
They were finally fed up with your legal troubles not to mention the killing you made on 9/11, - profiting from tragedy.
- [laughter.]
You are way out of your depth.
I've been crushing the S&P since you were in - fucking footie pajamas - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - Yeah! - Fuck, yeah! And now you're about to take a bath on the refineries, - so you're coming on TV to kill the stock.
- Guys.
Maybe Taylor, the fact is, you stabbed me in the back.
You're down a few billion AUM [Axe.]
and now you're trying to salvage [Axe.]
your tanking company by attacking me.
But I'm gonna kick your ass in the energy sector, same way I'm gonna kick your ass in the ring.
Hold on.
Hold on now for our audience at home that doesn't know what's going on he's not literally going to beat Taylor up.
Their traders are about to slug it out for charity.
[cheers and applause.]
[shouts indistinctly.]
You know what? I'll bet Taylor one million dollars that my man beats theirs.
Two million he knocks him out.
[Josh Brown.]
Taylor, you want to respond to that? I don't negotiate with bullies.
He's trying to box me in.
But I have a choice.
And it's one many on the Street are starting to recognize and take.
And that is: to not do business with Bobby Axelrod.
It's why I left Axe Cap, and why many of his investors are fleeing too.
- Taylor, you're - [Scott Wapner.]
Sorry guys, we've gotta wrap it up, it's been interesting to say the least Well.
Thank you for the firefighter prompt.
Your timing was perfect.
I'm happy it was useful.
As the adrenaline recedes, I'm starting to get a new perspective.
That didn't actually go so well, did it? Depends.
Were you aiming to be the Henry Rollins of Wall Street? All aggro rage.
I'm not sure that's gonna help your fracking position.
This is all my fault.
I'm sorry I didn't have my shit together earlier.
Lobbying ain't gonna be enough.
Not by the usual methods.
We need to do more.
Thank you for seeing me, council member Halftown.
I'm here because I will not sit idly by while your civil rights are being hijacked.
Your people need better access to voting.
I know in the past you've taken action, applied for mobile voting programs but were denied.
As Attorney General, I can help you make it happen.
As your wise predecessor, Wilma Mankiller said, "Leaders are encouraged to "remember seven generations in the past "and consider seven generations in the future when making decisions that affect the people.
" She was Cherokee.
I'm Haudenosaunee.
That would be like me citing Vince Neil to sell you.
Does Vince Neil speak to who you are? - Some days.
- Mr.
Rhoades, you want me to lobby the elections board for you.
Why would I do that for the people who chiseled us on the land deal surrounding the casino? Chiseled? I thought 'partnership' was more Your father has tasted the fruits of our tribe in a way that makes us disinclined to trust either him or you.
Well There she is.
Look at that chin.
I know that chin.
A champion.
She is.
My father will sweeten your piece on Kingsford to what you feel is fair [clears throat.]
Whatever my overly generous son needs.
As for your pilot program.
Send me your proposal.
Then we'll see.
Much appreciated.
Is that my little sister, for Chrissakes? Don't worry, Sonny, you'll always be my only child.
I could use your counsel.
Turning the tables.
I've been offered an opportunity in media technology that utilizes blockchain.
I'd never ask you to interfere.
But any intel You should proceed Alternate uses of blockchain have a future.
Even though Connerty and your big boss - are trying to shut it down? - Mm.
Chuck Rhoades is lined up on the other side.
Let's just say he's a little more motivated on the issue.
I know it's uncomfortable, these places where my business and your career intersect.
I am uncomfortable, but that's not why.
When I helped get Chuck ejected, it was for the right reasons.
Open the window, let in some light, some air.
It's still stuffy as hell in here.
Just promise you'll leave this place before you become so conditioned you can't function anywhere else.
You remember when I was a kid, on my birthday, and you'd spin me around before I hit the piñata? Sometimes I'd be so dizzy from all the turning, I'd end up just smacking the air.
That's what I'm feeling like lately.
Just all revved up to hit something, but I just can't lock in on the target.
Then what you need to do is this: Take the blindfold off, wait 'til the brain-fog lifts, choose your target, swing as hard as you can, and take its head off.
[dramatic music.]
So, what is so important you got to drag me Oh, shit.
Don't make me have my people put these on.
Thirty of my compatriots in full regalia.
Don't make me give interviews about how you are refusing us the vote.
Don't make me stage a sit-in at your office You're shoving a fucking arrowhead up my ass? Oh.
How dare you, sir.
Besides, I'm not shoving it.
You'd be sitting down on it, of your own accord.
- Oh.
- [Halftown.]
But at your weight, that's where it would end up for sure.
So you're allowed to be insensitive - but I'm not? - [Both.]
You've got your pilot program.
It's not all stick.
In this envelope you'll find tickets and hotel confirmations for you and the missus.
All expenses paid.
We did some good for my people just now.
And you are going to do some good for one specific little girl, aren't you.
The 529 college plan is being funded as we speak.
Tell me what we can salvage and what we can't.
Lobbyists tell me the can'ts are dominating.
I'd call it 50-50 right now.
It's going to come down to the governor.
- Victor? - [Wags.]
He's leaning hard, Axe, but his guys aren't bending.
He says it's going to come down to the governor.
What do those two want to tell me? That if we sell now, we can replace the stock with deep in-the-money call options.
We'd still realize losses but we'd be capped on the downside.
Then for their own safety, they'd better not fucking set foot in this office.
[dramatic music.]
Well if it's going to come down to the governor, then let's get to the governor.
Hi, Chuck [Chuck.]
Meet Governor Sweeney under other auspices, - not fracking - [elevator dings.]
but something that plays to his ego.
Give him no reason to think you're lobbying for anything in particular.
Just that you're a well-heeled supporter.
Pleasure to meet you.
Am I the first one here? Why don't you draw chips for everyone in the room so they can all play on the house.
He means: give us privacy.
Huh? I cooked a hell of a meal for you guys.
I'm gonna serve you now.
Come on.
I thought there were 13 of us.
I only count three plates.
That's right.
This is a donor dinner, right? It is.
Except instead of twelve people at 100k a plate, I thought I'd keep it simple.
Write your Super PAC one check for the full 1.
2 mil.
But I'm not getting involved in the refineries.
That's what we thought you'd say.
We? Oh.
Jesus, Mary and Sainted Joseph the good and kind carpenter.
And like them, now we are three.
I see how this is going to go.
I'm gonna say no and let me guess uh, teachers' strike? No.
Nurses? Or you're gonna release my tax returns? Or I'm gonna find Khartoum's head in my fucking bed? No horses need be harmed in the making of this picture.
The universe is kind, Governor.
Patiently providing opportunities to learn what you failed to in the past.
I'm slow, Chuck, but I'm not that slow.
You guys are gonna win this one, probably already have, so I am going to choose carrot this time.
What'll you have? Let's fast forward through the haggling.
This check is sitting here on this plate.
You'll probably tell me that the other side can give you the same amount.
So why don't you tell me what you need to get this done.
The keynote slot at the next meeting of the National Governors Association.
A springboard to the presidential.
- You'll have it.
- [chuckles.]
Really? Just like that? Huh? No, it'll be expensive and a total pain in the ass.
But you'll have it.
Then I will, uh, make sure that the refineries loophole stays open.
Great, and why not put a ring on it and legalize the whole damn thing.
Lift the fracking ban? If you're gonna do a thing, do it all the way.
Well, I mean, the environmentalists - will have a field day - Think of the Upstate jobs.
The tax revenue.
All right, I'll, uh I'll do my best.
Do better than that.
I just gave you 1.
2 million soldiers.
That should help.
[dramatic music.]
Put your fucking forks down.
We're leaving.
Hey! Chow time.
And so, General, with the Native Americans prepared to get vocal, [Connerty.]
the news on mobile voting isn't good.
I thought Sam Houston and the Texas Rangers took care of this shit a hundred and fifty years ago.
Looks like they left you some work to do.
Whatever you need me to do, I'm ready.
Find a way to introduce an infected blanket, like good ol' Lord Jeff Amherst.
[phone hangs up.]
[phone hangs up.]
[dramatic music.]
- Steven.
- Hey.
I'm glad we could finally get this on the books.
Wendy, it's great to see you.
Listen my counter-intel has found out that you're having some problems with your medical license? And my board doesn't think it's such a good idea for me to be coached by you.
Can we sit? Yeah.
Of course.
This is exactly the kind of thing we need to start with.
It sounds like your board is flexing its muscles, exerting pressure.
And you gave into it.
- I guess.
- Let's talk about that.
Why do you think your board has that kind of influence over you Wendy I I see what you're doing.
And I'm going to stop you right there.
My board has stated that I can't have a session with a doctor who's facing an ethics hearing.
It'll make me seem as sketchy as you.
[clears throat.]
[rock music.]
[indistinct conversations.]
- Hey, Frank.
- How are you? - How are you, Jeff? - How you doing? - You made it.
- Got money on your man, Axe.
- Meet Rebecca Cantu.
- Hi.
Jim Chanos.
How are you? - Pleasure.
- Charles.
- You look amazing.
- You're the man.
You look fabulous.
- I'll see you this weekend? - Awesome.
Axe with the first grenade [Hammon.]
he launched at your father's company.
Rebecca Cantu.
That's more than a business relationship.
Wendy Rhoades, on your six.
[dramatic music.]
You reported me to the Medical Board? Yes, I did.
Are you going to say it wasn't warranted? Please.
Neither of us is blameless.
I think we both did things I'd say were pretty fucked up The difference is: I didn't use your most intimate secrets to destroy your family.
But you went crying to the principal's office dick move.
C'mon, let's find our seats.
I apologize.
That was the first action I've taken without your clearance.
It will be the last You're worried I'm upset because you disobeyed me.
But I know why you did it to defend me.
And I appreciate it.
[indistinct conversations.]
I I don't I don't think I can stay for this I'll go with you.
Let's get an Uber.
[dramatic music.]
Just remember, you've prepared enough to win as long as you don't rush it.
So, breathe and focus.
Just knock him out.
No matter what happens, know that I am beside myself with gratitude and pride.
Asking you to come with me was the best decision I ever made.
No way I can beg out of the fight after that.
Now fucking slaughter him.
[indistinct conversations.]
Bloomberg alert.
Governor's about to announce on fracking.
Oh, well.
Seems only right that we should watch his decision come down together.
My thought exactly.
- - Jed, we struck oil! Fracking.
Legal! [cheers and applause.]
- Yeah! - Yeah! - Whoo! - Look at that! Yeah! - Whoo! - Yes! [man.]
Yeah! What the fuck? What don't I know? What's the one thing you need most when fracking? We've got our lot And the agua is ours.
You bought up the fucking water rights.
My short position was actually quite small.
Just enough to get on the tote board.
You baited me.
You needed fracking to happen and so you used me to make sure that it did.
I certainly couldn't be seen doing it.
Yet fact, I made it happen.
So while you'll profit, it's only fair I make more than you.
I taught you well.
I see that taking credit for my success in the midst of defeat is a kind of balm.
So you go on ahead.
And if you still care to make a wager on the fight, I'll do a million at a buck fifty-to one.
[cheers and applause.]
Ladies and gentlemen, fans of the glove game from around the globe welcome to Fight Night! [cheers and applause.]
[Wu-Tang Clan's "Protect Ya Neck" playing over boombox.]
- Champ! Reigning champ! - One, two.
- One, two, three.
- You're the best ever.
- Style is impetuous - Slip! your defense is impregnable I smoke on the mic like smoking Joe Frazier - One, two.
One, two.
- [music stops.]
- Thanks, Champ.
- [breathing heavily.]
We have one more reason to level these motherfuckers.
Bury him, I buy you two new houses one for each wife.
- I will, boss.
- Damn right he is.
[dramatic music.]
Let's go, baby.
Let's go.
- One, two, three.
- Ah! - One, two.
Jab, jab.
- Ya! - There you go, baby.
- Ow! With all the pageantry and respect due an event of this magnitude, here come the fighters.
First in the ring, Dudley Mafee.
[Rich Eisen.]
Ah, yes, the Mauler from Aurora heading into the ring at 6'2".
What do you think, about 218 pounds? 218.
That was the same exact weight that Tyson was in his prime.
A very different 218 on the "Iron Mike" Tyson, Bob, very different.
Next up, Dollar Bill Stearn.
[cheers and applause.]
Getting more of a George "The Animal" Steele vibe - from this one.
- I agree.
There appears to be a little bit of the animal in this guy.
[Rich Eisen.]
Axe got Deontay Wilder in Dollar Bill's corner.
And over on Team Mafee, we've got UFC heavyweight champ Stipe Miocic.
[audience chanting.]
Dollar Bill! Dollar Bill! - [bell dings.]
- [Menery.]
And there's the bell.
[Rich Eisen.]
All right, and we're under way.
- We're under way.
- You got this, baby! And we're waiting for someone to get hit.
[cheers and applause.]
Ohh! [indistinct shouting.]
[cheers and applause.]
- [AC/DC's "T.
- [man.]
Go! Go! Go! Go! 'Cause I'm T.
Oh! I'm dynamite T.
- [laughs.]
- And I'll win the fight - Dollar! - T.
[Rich Eisen.]
Dollar Bill doesn't follow up.
He just moves back and celebrates.
[bell dings.]
Watch me explode [cheers and applause.]
[Rich Eisen.]
Oh! I'm dirty, mean, and mighty unclean Not entirely legal, but it's the first guy to go down.
Public enemy number one Fuck his ass up! Understand Well, patty-cake, and then there's a baker's man.
Lock up your wife [Menery.]
And with that, Rich, [Menery.]
he just punched him right in the fucking dick.
- Oh, shit.
- Again, not entirely legal.
The man is back in town Don't you mess me 'round [bell dings.]
Both of them losing a lot of energy.
You can tell they're dripping sweat from everywhere.
They're out of shape.
They're all fucked up.
- Ohh! - Come on! T.
- That's not legal.
- I'm gonna be honest, viewers.
This is probably one of the pussiest fights - I've ever seen in my life.
- Oi, oi, oi - [bell dings.]
- T.
[Rich Eisen.]
They stopped fighting before the bell.
- I'm dynamite, T.
- [vomits.]
- [Rich Eisen.]
And now Maffe's vomiting.
- Ugh.
You got to keep going right now! Let's go! Make it happen! - Keep going! - You got to keep going! - [bell dings.]
- T.
[Rich Eisen.]
That's the Bald Bull Charge from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! [Rich Eisen.]
All right, this is quickly becoming a farce here.
Come on! [Menery.]
What is going on here? This looks like an audition for the fucking Walking Dead.
Axe cannot be happy about this.
[bell dings.]
[Rich Eisen.]
Down goes Dollar Bill.
- Just fucking stand up! - Get up, Bill! Stand up! [Menery.]
And Mafee is trying to pull himself up, but he's toast.
- Dig deep right now! - Get up! Let's go.
Get up.
Get the fuck up.
Let's go.
[Rich Eisen.]
We have two fighters down.
And the round hasn't even started.
[indistinct shouting.]
[crowd booing.]
[Rich Eisen.]
There's a concession stand in the ring.
This is beyond pathetic, Bob.
[bell dings.]
I think they're calling it a double loss? When you talk about the shitbag titty fuck of the night that's another fucking draw.
Ain't gonna be no rematch.
Don't want one.
[shouting continues.]
- Come on.
- [indistinct conversations.]
Gentlemen, gentlemen, you will get your money back.
I will do it one at a [laughs.]
Why's he so happy? Fight was a draw.
He had push.
I won.
I motherfucking won.
I am a winner.
Because I win.
I motherfucking win.
- Not bad.
- Mm.
[door opens.]
We could blow out that wall, - make a great room.
- Mm-hmm.
- Or a man cave for you.
- Mm-hmm.
Also just rip up this island and just flip the whole kitchen.
We're gonna re-do all the floors anyway, - they're like from the '90s - [door closes.]
Sorry, I thought we'd be done by now.
It's just so great.
We love it.
- [chuckles.]
- Nice to meet you.
- When are you due? - Next month.
Your first? - Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
[dramatic music.]
Well, there they were.
We're really going to sell to them So they can come in here and tear this place apart.
I know you saw those cigars in his pocket.
He'll be puffing up a storm.
Whole place will smell like it.
You're right.
Like it or not, this is our home.
Was And I don't think I want them living in it.
So we take it off the market? [sighs.]
Oh, Wend, oh, I was hoping you'd say that.
And does that mean I can, uh, move back in to the bedroom? Let's take it one step at a time, Chuck.
Thank you.
It's no big deal.
You had a shitty, shitty night.
After a couple of shitty days.
And you actually took the time to buy up the shares I needed.
I found an index fund to release a block to me.
There's something for me in this too.
We combine our shares, you get to make your takeover move on Saler's, and I get a board seat.
I knew it was important to you And so it begins.
Now I'm at the starting line.
[soft music.]
[horns honking.]
[police radio chatter.]
Why are you on my site? Site's closed until further notice.
The fuck is this all about? Security reasons.
This is what it's about, Dad.
[car door closes.]
[dramatic music.]
Counterterrorism, drug enforcement, gangs.
Those illustrious task forces are why you are the nation's finest.
Yes, Mr.
Attorney General.
They're the pride of the NYPD.
Which is why I'm pulling 'em.
That prestigious work and the deep pocket funding of it will be going instead to your neighbors in New Jersey.
Now, that might not make you look too good Jesus Unless what? [scoffs.]
I guess this voting thing does matter that much to 'em.
Then you better fucking fix it.
Ohhh, I'll fix it.
Like Lyndon Johnson did the South.
[AC/DC's "T.
Oi, oi, oi For my own fucking reasons.
Oi, oi, oi Oi, oi, oi Oi, oi, oi Oi, oi, oi See me ride out of the sunset On your color TV screen Out for all that I can get If you know what I mean Women to the left of me And women to the right Ain't got no gun Ain't got no knife Don't you start no fight 'Cause I'm T.
I'm dynamite T.
And I'll win the fight T.
I'm a power load T.
Watch me explode
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