Bizaardvark (2016) s02e10 Episode Script

Yes and No

1 What is up, guys? I'm Paige.
I'm Frankie.
BOTH: And we are Bizaardvark.
Every day, millions of children across the world suffer from a shortage of dance moves.
But this tragedy can be eradicated with the help of our new video, "Anything Can Be a Dance.
" - Nailed it! - We are so good at being fake-sad! Yeah! - You guys are gonna love this.
- It's gonna be so good! So great! (BUZZING) (BOTH GIGGLING) (FOOTSTEPS) Do you ever hear music but don't know how to get movin' There's really nothin' to it, 'cause Anything can be a dance No matter how crazy Follow along if you can 'Cause anything can be a Anything can be a dance - Look how we get down - Ow Bust a move Yeah, we do it like that Anything can be a dance Dance Dance Do the shopping cart Grab the milk right off the shelf Do the ear wax cleaner If you can't think of anything else Do the swipe your phone And the tangled hair comb Now they eat some scrambled eggs Do the wheelbarrow The one where you go Grab your best friend by the legs, 'cause Anything can be a dance No matter how crazy Follow along if you can 'Cause anything can be a Anything can be a dance Look how we get down - Ow - Bust a move Yeah, we do it like that - Anything can be a - Do the walk over there Just go on and move your feet Do the lean and whisper, "Hey, you okay" Just keep snappin' to the beat Do the lift her up Do the human crutch Do the oh, so heavy Do the crazy wobble Imagination's all you need Whoa 'Cause anything can be a dance No matter how crazy Follow along if you can 'Cause anything can be a Anything can be a dance - Look how we get down - Ow Bust a move Yeah, we do it like that Anything can be a - Dance - Dance Dance BOTH: You could spend all day On a swing eating a baguette But why do boring things like that When there's the Internet? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! - Let's go make some videos - Hey! You could watch Dirk doing crazy dares - Saying, "Here we go" - Here we go! He'll do anything you want Just don't try this at home Or watch Amelia teaching ya How to look your best Making over people is her never-ending quest You could watch Do you have constant foot odor? You could watch us make ridiculously funny videos Like the one with evil pop-up books That punch you in the nose Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos And I I missed it.
Oh, man I just had the most epic game of arcade basketball ever! - What happened? - I walked up to the machine and some idiot left behind 20 tickets! Add it to the pile! You truly are the eighth wonder of the world, Mount Ticket-Manjaro.
Someday, we'll have enough tickets to redeem you for a life-size fighting robot.
Hey, I thought we agreed we were saving to get a flat screen TV for our studio? I never agreed to that, and we will continue this conversation once I have a fighting robot to back me up.
Well, right now we need a new video.
How about "Spacey Space Cadets"? Two astronauts who can't focus.
(MAKES RADIO STATIC NOISE) That's one small step for Dude, aren't hands crazy? Interesting.
Okay, um what about a video about an easily intrigued armadillo? It's called "Armadill Ohh!" Funny.
Then, how about a video about a girl who says "no" to everything? No.
Although that girl does sound awesome.
It's you.
You say "no" all the time.
No, I don't.
No! No! No! No! And that was just five minutes ago! - May I rebut? - You may.
You say "yes" to everything.
I can help! I'll do it! I don't know what you just said, but yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Fine but I just think saying "no" all the time closes you off to things that you might actually like.
Which is why I've proposed a bet.
DIRK'S VOICE: Bet bet bet bet bet! It's time for a bet! Everybody asked if we would ever use the bet button.
- I said "no.
" - I said "yes.
" So what's the bet? I bet I can go longer saying "no" to things than you can go saying "yes.
" You're on.
How about, if I win, I can use "Mount Ticket-Manjaro" to get my fighting robot? If you win, you can get the flat screen.
Forget the TV.
If we're betting, I'm getting something for me that's totally practical.
Like that five-foot-tall adorable stuffed sea otter! - Great! It's a bet! - Great.
By the way, what does that other button do? I don't know.
We've never pressed it.
DIRK'S VOICE: It's a rhino attack! Rhino attack! Run for your life! I think this was a solid purchase.
All right, Dareheads! I'm gonna juggle these chainsaws, while riding this skateboard, which I'm gonna backflip off of, onto a moving train, - as flames - (FART SOUND) (CHAINSAWS HITTING FLOOR) Did you get that? Please tell me you got that 'cause I just farted! (BOTH LAUGH) What are you two dopes laughing at? We're watching my "Dare Me Bro" outtakes.
Outtakes? Yeah, like when you make a mistake when you're filming a video.
Mistake? Yeah, like when you intend to do something, but it goes horribly wrong? Something? You really don't know what an outtake is? Bernie, just show her.
Me? Why would you ask me? I'm offended - (SMASH) - Oh Ohhh! I get it now.
You have made a mistake on camera, haven't you? Well, there was that time I said "fuchsia" but it sounded more like "fuuchsia.
" No one's ever seen it.
And no one ever will.
I'm sorry, that kinda thing, never happens.
Uhp, my foot's in a mop bucket.
Look, I gotta tell you.
My Dareheads love outtakes.
I put them on my channel and gain a ton of new subscribers.
Maybe I should try outtakes, too.
I don't even know how this happened! Students of Sierra High, as president of the Drama Club Rachel, everyone knows if there's a club, you're president of it.
And one day, America will be my club.
The Drama Club needs new thespians.
This year, all of our plays will center around the theme, suffering.
Lots of deep, emotional discovery.
So, can I count you in? Yeah, I appreciate the offer, Rachel, but my answer is a big, fat n - A big, fat what, Frankie? - A big, fat n'yes.
N'yay! Frankie! I need a huge favor.
Can you please babysit my cactus? - Uh yeah.
- Thanks! You be a good boy? You better be a good boy! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Sweet! Off to the Wagon Convention! Wheee! Attention, students! The Chess Club is looking for a volunteer to be our mascot.
The matches are long, and the costume is uncomfortable, but it's for the good of the school.
What do you say, Frankie? Yeeeeeeeesss! Ughh! Today's been the worst! I can only imagine saying "no" has been a total nightmare for you.
What do you say we just call this whole bet off? No way! I thought I'd hate this, but it turns out I love to say "no.
" It's been so liberating and relaxing.
You do seem relaxed.
And And that drink looks refreshing, can I have a sip? - No.
- (GASPS) Who are you, and what have you done to my weak, people-pleasing best friend? Frankie, for once in my life I I'm putting myself first.
I took a nap today, like a carefree cat on a window sill.
If I had any blood left in my arms, I'd take a swing at you.
Ahhh can't wait to win the bet and pick up my new stuffed friend, Ollie Sea Otterman.
That's right, I named him! Don't you just love that name? (LOUD SLURPING) Yes.
- Hey, guys, she's Paige.
- And she's Frankie.
BOTH: And we're Bizaardvark.
And today, we're doing the Sick Smoothie Challenge.
Some of these bags have gross stuff in them, and some of them have yummy stuff.
We're each gonna pick five bags, and then make a smoothie with whatever ingredients we're stuck with.
Then we're gonna blend it all up and drink, drink, drink.
- Or puke, puke, puke! - Mm-hmm.
- Ready? All right.
- I'm ready! - Let's make our first picks - You go first.
you go first.
Number nine strawberries! - Sploosh! Your turn! - All right.
- Asparagus! - Ohhh! Oooh! Aww! - What is it? - It's horseradish.
Ohhhh-haha-haha! Oh, that's gonna be a great smoothie right there! Oh, God! - Honey! - Ohhhhhhh! (LAUGHS) Blue cheese! - I'm not I'm not eatin' that.
- (LAUGHS) - Cheese balls.
- Ugh! - (COUGHING) - Oh.
- That's a lotta cheeseballs.
- (LAUGHS) - A banana! A banana.
- Okay.
Like strawberry, banana, apple, horseradish Yeah, and blue cheese.
- Blue cheese.
- All right.
Gummy worms! Awww! - I actually like those, can I have one? - No.
- Are you kidding me? - What is it? - I got clam juice.
- (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Let me see - All of it, all of it, all of it! - No! That's too much! - Is this radishes? - I'm mad at you! - (BLENDERS RUNNING) - Ohh, it looks so bad! Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! Yours just smells like strawberries and bananas.
Ohh, how disgusting.
- (DISGUSTED NOISES) - (SPITTING) - Oh! - Oh my god! (SCREAMING) (LAUGHING) Oh! It's so bad! It's salty! (GAGGING NOISE) Ah-haww! (SCREAMS) Aaaaah! (LAUGHS) (SCREAMING) - The gummy worm stayed alive! - (LAUGHS) It's alive! It's alive! MALE VOICE: Bizaardvark! - Hey, Paige! - Hey.
There's a "Save the Sea Otters" event this afternoon.
- Hm.
- Wanna come volunteer with me? Really? Wow, I I would love to say no.
But, the sea otters' habitats are being encroached upon by giant corporations.
If no one takes action, they could die.
Don't you care? No.
Ow! I'm so sorry! Aah! I think it's sprained.
Can you help me get to the nurse's office? No! Ow! Ow! Ow! Paige.
This is Gaby.
She spent 18 hours flying here from Fiji because she's a huge Bizaardvark fan.
Can you sing a song for cute little Gaby? Please? No! But Bizaardvark is the only thing that makes me happy.
Can you at least tell me that life gets easier, and I won't wake up sad every day? No! All right, fork over the green.
I thought for sure Paige would cave and say "yes.
" Well, thanks for helping me with the Gaby bit.
I almost didn't need it after that Rachel thing, that was nuts.
Hey, I did my part.
Can you pay me in hundies? I'm only paying you five dollars.
Coo, coo.
Can you pay me in two two's and a one-y? - Do you want this or not? - Yeah.
Hey, don't forget.
Half of that's for Gaby.
Oh, Frankie.
If you're gonna play dirty I'm gonna play dirty, too.
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
Frankie's not paying us.
She said you didn't sell it enough.
Her words, not mine.
Well, you two were wrong, as usual.
Can you be more specific? I posted some hilarious outtakes on my channel, and they're not getting any views.
Oh my I only baked these with five-eighths of a teaspoon of vanilla instead of six-eighths! Haa! What an embarrassing mistake! Amelia here with tips on how to organize your closet.
First, take your shoes and put them on hangers.
(LAUGHS) Shoes on hangers What? Now that's an outtake! Amelia here, wearing a light purple shirt, Whaaat? That should've gotten a million views.
Light purple is so out right now.
Gotta go dark purp, brah.
But Amelia, outtakes shouldn't be prepared.
They should be spontaneous.
Well, then I need help.
Bernie, what's your secret? You're basically a human outtake.
What? I am not a human outtake.
Hah! Ohhhhhh! BERNIE: I hate you, Acrobat Channellll! (TO HERSELF) All right, Frankie, it's payback time.
It's gonna take hard work, meticulous planning, probably a lot of late nights It's just been really hard to fit in here, Mom.
I wish I had a peer mentor to show me around.
(BLOWING NOSE) or, it will conveniently fall in my lap.
Hey! I hear you're looking for a peer mentor? Hang on.
Poppy seeds.
Uhh! Uh, uh! Ohh got it! (GAGGING) Anyway, I happen to know the perfect peer mentor for you.
Frankie Wong.
Oh Hey, aren't you forgetting something? Oh, yeah.
Hey, I'm Marlene.
I'm new here and (CLEARS THROAT) lookin' for a peer mentor for the year.
Can you be mine? Uhhhhh (TO HERSELF) Frankie's gonna say "no" and then I'm gonna win the bet.
Yes, I will be your peer mentor.
Yay! Nooo! What's up, guys? Bizaardvark here, with our friends Bernie and Amelia.
- Have you ever put on a shower cap - Bernie? We do the intros.
Have you ever put on a shower cap, put shaving cream on it, and tossed cheeseballs at it? - No, I have not - Bernie I'll do the responding.
No, I have not! Well, you're in luck, because today we are doing the Cheeseball Challenge.
- Woo! - Bernie? Bernie, please, we do the woos.
FRANKIE/PAIGE/AMELIA: Woooo! (SLAP) FRANKIE: Ahhhhhh! You look like you have gray hair! Okay! It looks like marshmallows melted on my face! Ooh! AMELIA: Oh, I got one! Go, go go.
Are you Come on! Throw a ton! FRANKIE: Yeah, just throw the whole bucket! - Ahhhh! - We're geniuses! PAIGE: Okay, okay, let's count! - Okay, okay, okay.
- AMELIA: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, PAIGE: Twenty-eight! - There's one right here.
- Twenty-nine.
Girl, we got 29! FRANKIE/AMELIA: 24, 25, 26 - 52, 53, 54, 55 - What? (AMELIA GASPS) I wasn't done counting! Ahhhh! Amelia, this isn't our studio, - they have to clean this up.
Bye! - Bye! What are we Bernie! G My friends.
Hey, peer mentor! Marlene? What are you doing here? The peer mentor thing is just during school hours.
I was wonderin' if you wanna hang out.
So you wanna hang out? Uhhhhhhhhhh.
Yes, I would love to hang out.
Whoa, speakin' of hangin' out, what do we have here? Ohh! And that's going in the trash.
So, Marlene, um, how long do you think you're gonna be Uh-oh foot itch! Foot itch! - (GASPS) - Ohh! Ohh.
Ooh! And a friend for the shirt.
So, Marlene, um, Frankie and I actually have some work we need to do, so Whoa! What are you guys working on? (SNEEZES) Ohh! And that's another blunder-free edition of "Perfect Perfection" with Amelia.
Wait, I said blunder instead of outtake! That's an outtake! Right? Actually, blunder and outtake pretty much mean the same thing.
Ugh! I can't even talk wrong! Oh, it's hard being so perfect.
I feel ya, sister.
Being smooth and cool all the time is a blessing and a curse.
You stepped in another mop bucket.
Come on! I'm sorry, Amelia.
We really thought you could do it.
Forget it.
I guess outtakes just aren't my thing.
(FART SOUND) Did you guys get that? Please tell me you got that! 'Cause I farted! I I probably didn't get it.
No No, wait, I did! I did, I left the camera rolling! Amelia! You have an outtake! Bernie Schotz is not a total failure! BERNIE/DIRK/AMELIA: Nooooo! (SPLASH) I hate you, Deep Fryer Channel! (BELL DINGS) Well saw that comin'.
Frankie! I have some floss stuck in my teeth.
Can you help me get it out? Yes.
Ohhh Thanks.
Peer mentors for life.
Frankie, I feel terrible.
This bet has gotten out of hand.
a leave you alone.
I know.
I wish I could get a break.
Maybe I could hang out with her sometime, just to give you a breather.
Really? You'll help me out? - Yes.
- Ha! You said yes! I win the bet! Wait, what? What's going on? The long con, sister, that's what's goin' on.
I set you up to say "yes"! I knew you were too good of a person to resist helping out your best friend.
- What about Marlene? - I met her in Drama Club.
Sorry, Paige.
I couldn't pass up a real-life acting opportunity! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a dentist.
I seem to have flossed my gums to the bone.
See you in Drama Club, girl.
Why are you smiling? You lost the bet.
You like being in Drama Club.
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
You opened yourself up to something new and now you love it! Ha! So I won the bet! Emotionally.
Fine, I love it.
Now, if you need me, I'll be at the arcade cashing in Mount Ticket-Manjaro for my fighting robot, Puncho McRocketfists.
That's right.
I named him.
Behold! Two-thousand spider rings! What? What happened to Puncho? Well, turns out Puncho was 90,000 tickets and we only 89,997, so You're wearing a belt made of tickets.
Paige, this? This is fashion.
Frankie, what the heck are we gonna do with a bunch of spider rings? Behold Mount Spiderest! We are nothing if not consistent.