Bizaardvark (2016) s02e12 Episode Script

Promposal Problems

1 What's up, guys! Bizaardvark here with our friends, Dirk, Bernie, and Amelia.
Today we're going to be doing the "Create a Superhero Challenge.
" We each have 30 seconds to pick whatever we want from these trunks and create our own superhero.
At the end, we'll introduce who we are and what superpower we have.
Nobody take being handsome.
That's my power.
- Uh - Just let him have it.
- You guys ready? - Yeah, yeah! Here we go! - Okay.
- Hey, you took my helmet, man.
- It's mine, now.
- Are these fishing boots? Time's up.
I am, as it says on my shirt, DIY Woman, with the power to create any piece of clothing, out of any piece of material in the entire world.
- Very good.
- (HORN HONKS) And then this is my cape.
- Wow! - Can you fly? No.
Hiya! I'm Sanitary Man.
Scrub, scrub.
Clean, clean.
I've been cleaning since I was born.
And remember kids, if it's not sanitary, it's not sanitary.
- Good job.
- All right, man.
Yeah! I am Vision Woman.
I can see all.
I see everything.
I even have eyes in the back of my head.
I have four pairs of eyes in the front.
- That way I can see up here - No, there's five.
- There's five.
- Five? Okay, I can't see.
- I can't see how many - Vision Woman can't see.
- Okay, all right.
Next! - Exactly.
My name is Linda.
Fishing may not be a superpower to some people, but to me, it's my whole life.
This horn right here - summons every fish in the water.
- (HONKS) Since we don't have water here, you can't really see the fish, but (HORN HONKS) the fish are coming.
I am Gardeno, prepared for any situation your grandma's garden can throw at me.
I can snip weeds or set traps.
- I'm ready Gardeno.
- (HORN HONKS) ALL: Let's go save the world! - Whoo! - I'm a gardener.
(HONKING CONTINUES) I will summon the fish.
Everyone go to the ocean.
They're coming! BOTH: You could spend all day On a swing eating a baguette But why do boring things like that When there's the Internet? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! - Let's go make some videos - Hey! You could watch Dirk doing crazy dares - Saying, "Here we go" - Here we go! He'll do anything you want Just don't try this at home Or watch Amelia teaching ya How to look your best Making over people is her never ending quest You could watch Do you have constant foot odor? You could watch us make ridiculously funny videos Like the one with evil pop-up books That punch you in the nose Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos And I I missed it.
(ZOMBIE VOICES) Rebecca Tony is dying to go to prom with you.
Do you accept his promposal? Say yes, if you've got any brains.
Zombie nerd love.
The grossest kind.
Who would've thought we would become the promposal queens of Sierra High? I would have.
We spend all our time being creative and making videos while other people go out and develop emotionally.
We should really reconsider how we spend our free time.
That promposal was amazing! You guys are on fire! Nine for nine.
What can we say, we're good.
Hey, so, uh, do you think you could hook me up with a promposal? Bernie, prom is for seniors.
You're a freshman.
More like a fresh man.
Someone's allowed to wear deodorant now.
You know you're supposed to put that on under the shirt, right? Cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
Anyway, uh, there's this girl I've had my eye on for prom.
Her name is Kate and she's a senior.
I'm sure she'd be into me, too.
What was that? A wink.
You know what? We could use a good challenge.
We're gonna make it ten for ten.
Dust off your tux, my friend, you are going to prom! Yes! (PHONE DIALS) Grandma, what you doing after school? 'Cause this guy needs to go to the deodorant store.
Dirk! You're just in time for the series finale of Cali Beach High.
Guess who I'm dressed as? Duh, you're Kylie, the varsity beach volleyball star.
Where's your evil twin sister? You mean Delilah? That's for kissing Kylie's boyfriend.
I'm dressed as Brody, the troubled lifeguard with a quick temper and mysterious past! That's for kissing Delilah! (PHONE ALARM CHIMES) You guys, it's starting! I'm sorry, guys.
I love Cali Beach High, but I promised my brother I'd watch it with him this weekend.
So, please, no spoilers.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS) Okay, punching bag man, we should be safe from any spoilers in here.
AMELIA: He died? I can't believe he died! Okay, don't freak out.
I mean, she could be talking about anyone.
AMELIA: Principal Tate McCallister died! Still not a spoiler.
I mean, he could have dyed his hair, or or or his Easter eggs.
VIKING GUY: Principal Tate McCallister died! And now they're burying him in the ground! At a funeral! Because he's dead! That is what's happening right now! La, la, la, la, la All right, all you have to do is show us who Kate is, and we'll start working on your perfect promposal.
And perfect is what you'll be getting.
Super cocky high-five! Ch, ch, ch There she is! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) (RECORD SCRATCHES) Wait.
Kate is Katherine Davis? She's captain of the tennis team.
And class president, and an honor roll student! Yeah, her legs are long.
Uh have you ever talked to Kate before? - Like, in my head? - So, that's a "no.
" Bernie, are you sure that is who you really want to ask to prom? Yup.
I would have never had the guts to ask Kate on my own, but now that I have you guys, I'm guaranteed a "yes.
" Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get fitted for a large child-sized suit.
Frankie, this is awful! Kate is never gonna say yes to Bernie.
She is totally out of his league.
I know! Our perfect promposal record is about to be shattered.
And more importantly, our friend will be devastated.
He'll be publicly humiliated and probably scarred for life.
You know, sometimes you make me feel like a bad person.
What's up, guys? Bizaardvark here, with Amelia.
From Perfect Perfection.
You've got to promote the brand.
We're here for a Multi-Task Challenge where we try to do two things at the same time.
We're gonna see if Paige can jump rope while bageling.
Cream cheese.
- All right, there we go.
- There we go.
(GIGGLING) Here I go.
Come on, spread it.
You already spread it? I didn't see.
Good job! We did it! Now, we're gonna try to play paddle ball while putting on lip gloss.
Ready? Go! - Oh, wait - Ah! Ahh! - We did it.
- Yup.
Think we nailed it.
For the final round, Frankie will multi-task three things at once.
What? She'll be jumping rope, while holding this dessert, and texting, "I hope I don't drop this thing.
" I was not aware of this.
That's gonna drop.
- You've got this! - You've got it! - It's got to be a challenge.
- Easy as pie.
Ahh! (LAUGHS) This isn't gonna work! Okay, I have, "I hop.
" You got to try.
You do hop! - Hold that pie! - Hold that pie! Ahh! I did it! "I hope I don't drop this thing!" I did it! And that was the Multi-Task Challenge.
- That was pretty dang hard.
- It was really, really hard.
Especially holding up this thing.
I think I have biceps now.
Oh! We can't let Bernie prompose to Kate, or he'll be humiliated when she rejects him.
I still don't know if convincing him to go to this body builder convention on the night of prom is gonna work.
Of course it'll work, the dude loves his muscles.
Any time anyone asks him for directions, he's like it's over there.
And it's never over there.
Oh, here he comes.
Get in position! Whoa! What's going on? I thought the gym was over there.
Or is it over there? Hey, broseph.
We're just getting ready for BodyCon.
You know, the bodybuilder convention? No way! Is that coming back to town? Last year I didn't have all this chest hair to show off.
- Uh - Just let him have it.
Anyway, it's on the night of the 23rd.
You should come with us.
The 23rd? That's prom night.
But they're giving out weights to the first hundred people who come.
They're literally free weights.
I am cheap.
But I can't pass up going to prom with Kate, especially when I'm gonna look so good promposing in my tuxas.
- Your what? - My tuxas.
It's like a tux, but more Texas.
You mean it's shaped like Texas? No, I mean it feels like Texas.
You mean, like a cactus? No! That's obviously a cactux! Oh, and I also made a list of other things I want in my promposal.
A mariachi band? A baseball player? A T-shirt cannon? Is there a theme here? Did you think about it? Did you think about it? So much.
Also, be pirates.
Well, that didn't work.
What do we do now? What if, before Bernie can prompose to Kate, another girl asks him to prom? (BOTH LAUGHING) No, but seriously, we need to bribe someone to ask Bernie to prom.
See? You can be a bad person too.
(HORN SOUNDS) Live Like a Viking channel! (LAUGHING) Yes, ships and shields are very good.
Greetings, viking warriors.
Welcome to another episode of Live Like a Viking! Today's topic: vikings! Sweet.
I'm just glad to be somewhere where people aren't talking about Cali Beach High.
Then you've come to the right place.
But first, let's dish about the finale of Cali Beach High.
Can we please stick to viking stuff? "Can we please stick to viking stuff?" Today we're bringing on special guest Amelia, from Perfect Perfection, to teach us about how to make viking snacks.
Yeah, we've got grapes, or some sort of meat leg.
(GASPS) Speaking of legs, isn't it cool that Chad won the surfer competition with only one leg? That was on Cali Beach High! Guys, please! No spoilers! "Guys, please! No spoilers!" Let's take some calls from our warriors at home.
Phil, from Houston, you're on.
Had a quick question on battle helmets vs.
battle shields.
Mind if I take this one? - In the Dare world - But before that, can you discuss the big breakup on Cali Beach High? Yeah! - No! - Which one? Everyone broke up.
Everyone! Oh Except Principal Tate McCallister.
He died! - What's up, guys? I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.
(TOGETHER) And we're Bizaardvark.
- Do you want to make pancakes? - I'd rather make art.
How about we make pancake art? I love it when we compromise.
- Batter up! - Is that a sports thing? I don't know.
(TOGETHER) Pancake art challenge! Flower! Okay, I'm gonna make a sunflower.
I am just gonna make a rand I don't even know.
Oh, man.
I think I'm gonna be good at this.
- Really? - Yeah.
Okay, um, how am I gonna flip this? (GASPS) Oh, my gosh, I did it! (SCREAMS) Flower! Next up, we're gonna make a cat.
- Cat? - Yeah.
- That's like a step up from a flower.
- I know, it is.
My cat is superior because Ohh! Because it doesn't have a body? Yours doesn't have a body.
How does it move around, huh? - Go.
- Ohh! It looks so good! Oh, my gosh.
(TOGETHER) Cats! I think that we should make portraits of each other.
Ooh! Yeah! (GASPS) Oh, my God.
Look at you! It looks so great! Wow! Where are my glasses? I forgot your glasses! - Oh my gosh, it totally does look like you.
- It does.
(TOGETHER) Portraits! - I think I did pretty well.
- I think I did pretty well too.
- You know what? - I think we both did very well.
Our creations! Mmm.
Mmm, so good.
Tastes almost better than it looks.
(SCREAMS) There's five bucks in my retainer case! Not on my watch, buddy.
Bernie Schotz, your mission is to go to prom with me.
Do you accept? BERNIE (THINKING): Amelia Duckworth is asking me to prom? Wait something good is happening to me? My Bernie senses are tingling.
Before I say yes, how did you come up with this promposal idea? Uh Line? Seriously? Sorry, Bernie, if it makes your feel any better, I only did it because they gave me this really cute outfit to wear.
That is pretty cute.
What are you guys doing? You're supposed to be helping me ask Kate to prom! We are trying to help you.
We just we don't want you to get humiliated in public.
Humiliated? You don't think there's a chance Kate will say yes to me? No.
I get it now.
My friends think I'm a loser.
Bernie, wait.
You really think my outfit's cute? Hey, Bernie.
Did you come here to make me feel bad again? 'Cause when Bernie Schotz is getting jacked, nothing can make me feel small.
(GROANS) Maybe one less? We are so sorry.
We feel awful for what we did.
Yeah, we were just trying to protect you.
From what? Exposing myself as a loser? (GROANING) One less.
It's my fault, anyway.
I pictured myself walking into that prom with Kate, and it felt so good.
You might not know this about me, but I don't get a lot of wins.
I don't even know if Kate would have said yes, but if she did, I would have felt like I could do anything.
You know what, Bernie? - You deserve the chance to find out.
- Yeah.
And we're gonna help you ask Kate to prom with our biggest, best promposal yet! Really? Thanks, guys! I'm feeling confident already.
Make it one more.
(GROANING) Maybe one less? This isn't a battle-axe convention! Hey guys, I'm Amelia, and these are my friends, Bernie and Viking Guy.
And today we're doing the Viking Ring Toss Challenge.
Oh, I love it! It has the word "viking" in it! What is it? Well, you stand there like a pole, while Bernie and I take these rings, throw them at your head, and try to land them on your horns.
Quick, before he backs out! Go, go, go! Here, put these on, put these on.
Okay, just stand still.
- (BUZZER) - You're horrible.
Oh! That was pretty good.
Not so good.
Great game, guys.
I'm winning.
Wait, I have an idea.
What if this time, we try it while you're on your knees? Yeah, 'cause I'm short.
- Oh, you're doing the - No, like, both knees.
That doesn't matter.
I have to look regal while I do this.
You got worse! You're closer and I'm down here and you're worse! This is really hard, but I have a really good strategy.
- (CHUCKLES) - Jump cut! Yeah, we did it! Every ring is on your head! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, dear! Oh Sorry! (SLOW MOTION LAUGH) Guys, great news! I just watched the finale of Cali Beach High and I am ready to dish.
Can you believe Chad rode that dolphin into the eye of a hurricane? Chad Which one was he again? Chad.
The main character of the show? The one who we find out is secretly dating Kylie's evil twin sister, Delilah? What are all these names? Is this a dream you had? Guys, it's Cali Beach High.
Two days ago you couldn't stop talking about it.
Cali Beach High is so two days ago.
Now we're watching a brand new show that's totally different: Zombie Beach High! Don't say anything.
That's the next show I want to watch Can you believe that zombie Chad and zombie Kylie are married? And adopted a puppy? You want to know a spoiler? I really don't.
The puppy's a zombie! You know what? I give up.
Just tell me any spoiler you want to.
I'm going out with your mom next weekend! No! Guys, you all set? PAIGE (OVER WALKIE-TALKIE): Yup.
All stations are a go.
How's my breath? (EXHALES) - PAIGE: Bernie, walkie-talkie's don't - FRANKIE: Tell him it's fine.
Guys, here she comes! PAIGE: We're on our way.
Go get her! - Kate! - (GASPS) You don't know me, but my name is Bernie Schotz.
- As you know, prom is - Wait.
- Are you asking me to prom? - Don't pepper spray me! (LAUGHS) You're funny.
I'd love to go with you.
- Really? - Yeah.
I'm so glad someone finally asked me.
Most guys don't even talk to me because they think I'm intimidating.
By the way, I love that suit.
It's kind of like a Texas tux.
Like a tuxas.
Oh, my gosh.
This is the happiest I'll ever feel.
(LAUGHS) You're cute.
(GIGGLES) What's happening? I'm just glad you didn't do one of those huge promposals.
If you had done one, I would have definitely said "no.
" (QUIETLY) Back, back! Everyone, back! Wait! What about the other things we planned? (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) (BASEBALL BAT CLANKS) What was that? Uh, what is anything really? Wow, you're deep.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) - (GASPS) The cake! - Go! We should practice our slow dance! Oh, wow.
You're good! My grandma taught me.
(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING) What the? (MUSIC STOPS) Did you just hear music? Only in my heart.
- That's everything, right? - Oh, no.
The T-shirt cannon confetti bomb finale.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) What was that? That was Bernie Schotz getting his first win.
Come on, Kate.
This is gonna be the best night ever.
PAIGE (NARRATING): Yes, Bernie did take Kate to the prom FRANKIE (NARRATING): And oh, man, it was a complete train wreck.
PAIGE: Trying to request a song, Bernie tripped and destroyed the DJ table.
FRANKIE: Then he fell into the punch bowl.
Pai gave her a horrificd da bloody nose FRANKIE: And somehow started three simultaneous fires.
(SIRENS WAIL) Bottom line: It was a better night than usual for Bernie Schotz.