Black-ish (2014) s05e17 Episode Script

Each One, Teach One

1 DRE: For a Black man, breaking into my field wasn't as easy as you might think.
CROWD: [Chanting] "No Dre, no way!" Okay.
That was an exaggeration.
[Elevator bell dings] But let's be honest even now, Stevens & Lido isn't brimming with diversity.
And when I was first hired, I quickly figured out why I was there.
Uh, excuse me.
New guy.
Where do Black people buy their laundry detergent? - The store.
- Knew it.
We have an expert right here.
Andre.
When you're talking low-interest home loans, do you do so with your "homies" or with your "boyzzz"? My "boyzzz.
" Um, are your people still saying "Yo"? Yeah.
But thanks to my trailblazing, I've paved the way for a few more Black faces, like my assistant Curtis, or Junior, who turned an internship into a job.
Man, so much has gone on since we last talked this morning! Josh is taking me to lunch to share some industry intel.
Did you know that there is a secret meeting to decide the new flavor obsession? Pumpkin spice is out garlic maple is in.
Garlic maple? What?! All right, I gotta go scrub in again, sweetie.
All right.
Bye, hon! Lunch with Josh? Why does he suddenly care about you? Because he's my mentor? - Garlic maple! - Yeah! So hype! What the Sometimes you gotta take a chance when you're making a pitch.
Risks are opportunities wrapped in barbed wire.
Wow.
I mean, they really are.
Man, look at this ebony and ivory atrocity going on over there.
- It's unnatural - Mm.
like eating chicken and eggs at the same time.
Or eating an egg while you make a chicken watch.
- What? - They hate that.
That's why I do it.
Huh.
What's this, the Black people meeting? Josh is mentoring Junior.
- He is? - Mm-hmm.
That's just unnatural.
It's like a Black man with chin hair and no mustache.
[Laughs] Yeah, that's that's that's crazy.
Josh is up to something.
So, I was thinking about the Gumdrop Speaker campaign.
So, what if during the spot, someone eats the speaker, like a piece of candy, and every time they open their mouth, music comes out? I mean, it's like the music is always with them.
Junior that's great! And I like how you used those persuasive metaphors we talked about at lunch.
And I like how you didn't cry when the waitress wouldn't give you her number.
You are toughening up.
- Thank you, dude.
- All right.
- Oh, hey.
Mr.
Stevens.
- Yeah? I got a great new idea for the Gumdrop Speaker campaign.
Okay, what if someone eats the speaker, and every time they open their mouth, - music plays? You know, - Mnh-mnh.
like the music is always with them.
Wow, I actually like that quite a bit.
He's taking Junior's idea.
- Hmm.
- Classic move.
White man's been putting his name on our innovations for centuries.
Of course Elvis was the king, but a lot of people don't know that his biggest influence - was Black musicians who - CHARLIE: Hold up, Dre.
- What? - And like I said, - it was all Junior's idea.
- [Gasps] What we actually witnessing is even more classic-er.
Black man needing a White man to jump-start his career.
CHARLIE: Mike Tyson needed Cus D'Amato.
"12 Years a Slave" needed Brad Pitt.
And Shaq needed that little White boy to make a wish.
Oh, my God.
This White man only has good intentions for my son.
Yeah, he's Pat Riley-ing him.
He doesn't need a Pat Riley.
- He's got me.
- Hmm.
And everybody knows that I'm the person that Black people should look up to.
I don't look up to you.
I'm half your height, and I don't look up to you.
You know what? I'm gonna go down to the Boys & Girls Club and find somebody who hasn't even ever seen a commercial and I'm-a make them the best.
Or you could just mentor your assistant, Curtis.
Even better.
Saves me a trip.
You know what? This is the most productive Black people meeting that we ever had.
Remember what we just did.
[Kids laughing] - EMERSON: [Chuckling] Check out my mom.
- [Groans] [Laughter] My mom is so dumb.
She really hurt herself.
You think this is funny? Check out our mom.
[Cellphone beeps] - [Beyoncé's "Formation" plays] - Yes! Yes! - Okay, okay - Oh! Okay.
[Off-key] All day, I slay BEYONCÉ: Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation Okay, ladies [Normal voice] Hey! - You guys, this is private time! - [Laughter] She gets, like, 9 seconds a day away from her family, - and that's what she does with it.
- So dumb.
Yeah.
And her butt.
- So dumb.
- Her what? Here.
Let's zoom in on how dumb her butt is.
Dude, that's my mom.
Yeah, it is.
She ever talk about me? - Huh? - Hmmm wha? Hello, children! How was school? - Baffling.
- Why? Jack showed his friends your Beyoncé video, and now everyone thinks you're the hot mom.
Wh Me? Yeah.
I don't get it, either.
Can we just switch the subject? I-Iran.
A-Are those sanctions ever gonna end? No, no, Jack.
- We are going to talk about this - RAINBOW: Yes.
- because this makes zero sense.
- Okay.
- Our school is stocked with trophy wives.
- Yeah.
- Tucker's mom is a former Miss Alabama.
- Yeah.
- How are you the hot mom? - Oh, w I'm sorry.
Uh, did y Did you Did you say the hot mom? Not a hot mom, but the hot mom? Really? This is what we're really talking about? Well What about the bees, you know? Haven't heard about the bees in a while.
They all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand.
I understand.
No need for you to be embarrassed, okay? It's just It's what little boys do.
You know what I mean? They're just They're obsessed with [Sniffs] your very hot doctor mom.
It's okay.
- That's the problem.
- Oh.
- Tone it down, Mom.
- Mm.
You're holding it together pretty well for 35, but right now, just ease up.
Do you really think your mom is 35? You're not 35? Well, if you think I look 35 - She's not - Do I look 35? Dah! Go to your room.
Hey.
I'm about to change your life, Curtis.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I've decided to mentor you.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
Um really? Mm-hmm.
Uh, you as my mentor? You're welcome.
Uh, no, no, no, no.
I didn't I didn't I mean I didn't think of you as the mentoring type.
- What? - No, it's cool.
It's cool.
I You're just one of those dudes that doesn't give back.
Curtis, what are you talking about, man? I'm always helping you out.
You are my main man, Special K! See, that that's it right there.
- Um - What? My name is Curtis with a "C.
" Oh.
I-I always thought it was with a K like Kurtis Blow.
I know.
You say it every time you introduce me to a client.
So once.
Curtis.
Let me mentor you.
You know what? Um I appreciate the offer, boss, but, uh, I'm-a go ahead and get me some of that Josh mentoring.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Hey! Get in here, Vitamin C! - [Chuckles] - Come on.
[Laughs] How you doing? Wow.
I haven't seen someone lose that many young Black people since Kanye started talking about Trump.
Have you? If you have, you would tell me, right? I'm here for you.
I'm over 30, but I still matter.
The hot mom over Miss Alabama? - What? - Bow, forget Miss Alabama, all right? Can you believe that Curtis doesn't think I'm the mentoring type? Well Can you name someone that's opened more doors than me? - Well - Huh? Name somebody.
- Okay, well, I - Anybody! - Well, I'll start with - See? You can't even name one person, Bow.
You can't name one.
- I - All right? If it wasn't for me, Curtis wouldn't have a job, Charlie wouldn't have a job, and Junior wouldn't have a job.
Dre! You didn't hire Charlie, and you didn't hire Junior.
But I created the environment for them to get hired.
- Oh, really? - See? - By leading by example - Uh-huh.
I've given them the blueprint to success.
- Oh.
- Stay woke, Bow.
Okay, I don't think you understand the meaning of "woke.
" - Oh, I'm wide awoke - Yeah.
- Eyes wide woke.
- Sure.
And once I've gotten them through the door - Mm-hmm.
- what else am I supposed to do? Mentoring, Dre.
It's about bringing along the next generation.
In the medical field, we have a little saying "You see one, you do one, you teach one.
" Okay? So you see a surgery, you do a surgery, and then you teach that surgery to those that are coming up behind you.
- You just, pftt, bring 'em along.
- Okay, w-w-w-w-wait.
- Yes? - So - you see one surgery - Mm-hmm.
- then you're able to do it? - N [Sighs] Okay.
I've played Operation.
Can I scrub in? It's a metaphor! Babe, I've opened the door for many people.
Dre, if you feel like you have more to offer than Josh, then fight to be a mentor.
[Sighs] You're giving me a lot to think about.
That's what I do.
Like, what do you guys do for seven years in medical school? I'm too hot for this conversation.
DRE: My super-hot wife was right.
I needed to be a MILF A Mentor I'd Like to Follow.
Now, th that's great advice.
We are gonna be much better fathers because of this.
Hey, guys.
Come on, you two.
All right? You need a Black mentor to teach you the Black ropes.
My office, now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dre, what's going on? Sorry, Josh, there are just some lessons that you can't teach.
Uh, I don't know.
I feel like things have been going pretty well so far.
Right, guys? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's been going really well.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
All right, well, what would you say they do if they're in the middle of a meeting and are asked to be the mouthpiece for all Black people? Hmm? - Does that happen? - It It happens.
Y-Yeah, it it happened on the way to this meeting.
Mm.
See? Black people need different things.
So from now on, I will mentor Curtis and Junior.
Okay? Okay.
- What about Zion? - Who's Zion? Is there a brother here named Zion that I don't know about? - Zion! - Yeah.
I started last month.
You hired me.
You said, "Zion? That's a weird name for a girl.
" You're mine, too.
Let's go, guys.
And Zion.
JOSH: Guys? Yeah! Whoo! Yes, yes, yes! - [Whistle blows] - Go, Valley Okay.
Uh uh, good half, guys! Such a good half! Yeah, bring it in.
All right.
Hey! "Orange" you glad I sliced up some snacks? [Laughs] Good one, Dr.
Bow.
- Thank you.
- Oh, please.
You know it's not.
Oh, c [Smacks lips] come on.
Hey, how are things with you, Dr.
J? Truly? They're fine, Mason.
Everything's fine.
So, what have you done lately that's just for you? - Um oh.
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- [Groans] - Okay.
I'll tell you in one second, kiddo.
- What the heck? - What are you talking about? I thought you said you were gonna tone it down.
- Look at you! - What? I I'm dressed like all the other moms.
[Scoffs] Please.
You really think the boys are here to see Joanne? Don't play naive.
This is Jack you're talking to.
Yes, I know who you are.
I've been watching you flirt all day.
Flirt? What? What are you talking about? [As Bow] "Great half, guys.
I've brought orange slices.
Water helps with cramps.
" You want me to just let lactic acid build up in the muscles of these children? Oh, I don't think so.
Listen to me.
I'm not doing anything.
Nothing.
You are seeing things that aren't there.
- [Normal voice] Am I? - Yes, sweetheart, I promise.
- I'm j Oh! - JOSHUA: Ow! - Ooh! - My leg! Is there a female doctor in the house? Perhaps a supple anesthesiologist? This is a nightmare.
Yes, okay.
I see it now.
I got you.
Okay, so the rapper - w-whoever's hot at the time - Right, right.
he ties his shoes too tight and says - "Ooh! These too tight!" - Yeah.
And then we widen out and we see Name, logo here.
"These too tight.
" - [Laughs] - Whoo! What do you think? [Chuckles] I think it's terrible.
Wow.
[Sighs] Guys, take a seat.
All right.
Advertising isn't just about selling a product.
It's about selling a feeling.
You have a voice that's needed here.
Tell your stories, make it personal, because that is what people will respond to.
Curtis.
What's true to you? Well, I didn't get my first pair of fly kicks till I was 9.
Mm.
And I'll never forget the sound of the paper crinkling when I pulled them out the box.
Bingo.
I had these hot-pink high-tops when I was little, and I used to wear them, like, everywhere.
It didn't take long for my mentees using Dre's Protégés Program patent pending to make major strides.
Josh may have warmed them up, but I was conditioning them into all-stars.
And after a few days, when the opportunity presented itself, I decided to let them do a trial pitch.
So, if you're a true sneaker-head like me, then you never forget your first pair.
Yes, and and growing up, we were paycheck-to-paycheck.
So when I cracked open that box and I felt the paper crinkle over a pair of new Air Max 90s, I felt like anything was possible.
Yeah, my dad got me my first pair on my 3rd birthday.
And I kept tripping in them - because they were three sizes too big.
- [Laughter] But it was worth chipping my baby teeth - to look so fresh.
- [Chuckles] And that right there is our way in.
"My First Kicks" the story of your first pair.
Wow.
That is great.
- Hot, right? - Thank you.
It is so exciting to hear these fresh, young voices with their fingers on the pulse.
It's like that first home.
You know, that's a landmark thing.
Your first wife landmark thing.
You know? Or the first time you realize that you own 51% of the company and can fire anyone in this room.
And, uh, hey, that's a landmark.
[Laughter] To come up with something this good at your level Yeah.
- is very impressive.
- It really is.
[Laughter] But why don't you come up with something - like that, Dre? - Yeah, Dre.
They keep coming up with ideas like this, we're not gonna need you around here anymore.
[Laughter] Actually [Laughs] I didn't want to say this, because I'm too classy, but this is my idea.
All right? All of it.
Every single piece of it.
You know, from the shoes to the personal touch, to the crinkling.
Come on, man.
I buy tons of shoes.
Don't nobody crinkle like Dre.
All right? This is Dre day all day! Now siéntate-say! Go on, sit down.
All right? [Chuckles] Well, Dre, if that's the case, then - great work.
- Thank you.
Well, if you love that idea, then you'll love mine.
[Clears throat] Your last pair of shoes.
The ones you die in.
Everybody has a story for that.
- Oh, no, it went great.
- Hey.
What was that back there? Let me call you back.
What are you talking about? - It went great.
- Yeah, it was going great, until you totally took credit for our ideas! - Wha - That wasn't cool! Zion wants a piece of you.
What is she mad at? We came up with this as a team! I gave you your way in.
Before me, you had nothing! Yeah, but those were our ideas that they responded to.
Then you swooped in and stole our thunder.
- You made it all about you.
- Yeah, man.
Curtis crinkles! Dre don't crinkle.
Oh, I crinkle.
And I crunch.
Man, I don't have to sit here and take this mess.
You know what? This is my office.
You leave.
And lock the door behind you.
Go judge me from someplace else.
[Sighs] Dre, Dre, Dre.
Is it true? Is what true? Your mentees are saying that you stole their idea.
It wasn't even a real pitch, man.
There's no client.
There's no money on the line.
Congratulations, Dre.
You won practice.
I felt like I was being shoved out of my lane.
Wh You felt threatened by them? You think that's why we hired you? To be the voice of young, urban identity? "Urban" is in my title.
I mean, yeah, we did initially, but you're 45 years old now.
If we want to know what young people think, we'll go look at an 8-year-old's Instagram.
You're not just "the Black guy.
" You've shown over the years that you're more than that.
[Sighs] I know.
But when I came up, there was one Black executive for the one Black spot, and there wasn't room for someone else.
Uh, see? That's what they said about the NHL.
And now we got two whole brothers up in there.
- [Chuckles] - Just take it easy.
Sometimes our insecurities lead us all to do some stupid things.
- You did this, too? - To Black people? Hell no! That's despicable.
- [Sighs] - But I have dragged down every woman I've ever worked with.
- Thanks, Daphne.
- "Daphne"? Wh What? You think just because we had this sensitive moment that we're on a first-name basis? - No, I was - You better check yourself.
- I I - Lost your damn mind.
"Daphne.
" - Hey.
- Hey, Mom.
Hi, sweetie.
Oh my God! What What What happened?! I got in a fight.
Uh, he lost the fight to Mason.
- And, yes, that Mason.
- What? I had to do something.
The boys wouldn't stop talking about how you "brought your milkshake to the yard.
" Oh, my God.
And now I have to delete Kelis off my phone.
That song is ruined.
Sweetheart, can you give us a second? Can you sit down? Are you okay? Yeah.
Oh, my God, Jack.
You know a fight is never how you solve something.
I just want things to go back to the way they were.
I know.
Before the guys got all into you, we we were just normal.
We would just talk about "Fortnite" and "Rick and Morty," and and if we'd rather get bit by a shark or a tiger.
Tiger.
I would I think ti I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Now they're just all weird.
Look, I know this is a weird time, Jack.
But it's weird for everybody.
Do you know that Grandma Ruby told me that when your dad was in middle school, he had a crush on the mail lady because she wore knee socks? - That's all it took? - Yeah.
Absolutely.
- [Both laugh] - What? But then it passed.
And it's gonna pass with your friends.
It totally is.
They're gonna start having crushes on girls your age, or your mom's gonna turn 36.
- Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome, sweetheart.
[Inhales sharply] Boy, I'm not looking forward to going through this again with Devante.
[Chuckles] I don't think you're gonna have that problem, Mom.
Mm.
'Cause you're gonna be, like, old.
Like, super old.
- Jack.
- Come on, Mom.
Diane already told me that you're 50.
Ah! Look who it is.
What did you come by to take credit for this time? My outfit, perhaps? I bought you that.
You just can't help yourself, can you? Look, guys, I'm sorry.
And if it makes you feel any better, I told Stevens that those stories were 100% yours.
Wow.
You did? I was serious about offering you real guidance here, because I want to do what I can to set you up for futures here.
Look at it right now there's only a few of us.
But if we do this right, it can be like Wakanda up in this piece.
[Laughter] All right, so, when you're ready to Oh, I'm ready! I'm ready.
- I'm ready.
- Okay.
Okay.
Look, I've been your assistant for like five years now.
- I got a kid looking at colleges.
- Damn.
I think it's about time I made some moves.
Okay.
- All right, Curtis with a "C.
" - [Laughs] You know, I will make sure that you get some real work on some other accounts.
- Okay? - I appreciate it.
You got my word on that.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Thanks, Dre.
[Groans softly] Damn, she's strong.
You sure you're okay with me being here? Yeah.
You're my mom.
I want you here.
Okay.
Oh.
Also, thanks for dressing as frumpy as possible.
Oh, I I thought I looked nice.
But sure.
Dude! You got to check out Dane's mom.
Whew! She's been taking some swings since the divorce, and wow.
Later, Mom.
[Chuckles] Oh.
Sure.
That's my baby.
My disgusting baby.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, on the field.
On the field.
Yeah.