Black-ish (2014) s06e03 Episode Script

1 DRE: The 2016 election awakened a sleeping giant.
Across America, women mobilized to protest, protect each other, and elect more female members of Congress.
Bow was one of the women out there on the front lines marching, phone banking, knocking on doors, and she had her new activist ride or die, Abby, by her side.
They were changing the world one issue at a time.
- Girls - Ah! - Yo, yo, yo, yo! - Hello, hello.
You are never gonna believe what Abby and I did! - What? - Sherman Oaks Women Making A Difference met with Congressman Lopez about repealing the pink tax.
And we were so convincing that he is on board with our bill.
It was actually all because of you.
- Stop.
- Yes! No, you're the one that brought it home.
- Okay, well, we're both amazing.
- We're both amazing.
I don't even know what a pink tax is, but you guys seem happy, so I'm happy.
When they stop taxing menstrual products, it will be feminism: 1, and patriarchy: 0.
Oh, so you scored feminism's first point? Good job.
Well, it wasn't you know what I it wasn't the first - Babe.
- Yes? - That was great.
- Thank you.
Dre, don't encourage her.
- What? - The two of them feed off praise like hyenas off a carcass.
Don't mind her.
She's old.
Mm-hmm.
Bye.
- Bye, sweetheart.
That was so fun.
- Incredible! - We did so good.
- So fun.
- See you guys.
- You did good! Rainbow, you need to tell these children the truth.
Feminism is for white women, like your friend who don't want to wear a bra.
Um, feminism is for everybody.
And that is why I raised strong, opinionated, feminist children.
Mm, speak for yourself.
I'm good.
- What? - Come on, Rainbow.
You know I'm not a feminist.
N Huh? What do you mean you're not a feminist? I don't know.
The word just doesn't work for me.
I've known I'm better than boys since the day I was born.
- Yeah, she has.
Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
And it seems like a lot of people protesting and going to these marches are just doing it for the 'Gram.
- Hashtag activism is really a problem.
- Yeah.
- Mom.
- Me For me? I am not doing this for the 'Gram.
And Abby and I are doing all of this for the right reasons.
What's the right reason to stop shaving your armpits? Okay, listen.
Sweetheart, after the election, I felt really helpless.
And then I met Abby and found that women's group, and all of them, they felt the same way I did.
And then I was able to turn my feelings into action.
Your feminism is cute, Rainbow, but see, I want to live in a world where a man orders for me.
It's how I discovered shrimp scampi.
Hey.
- Grandma, you're not getting it.
- DRE: Careful.
Don't jump into a conversation about feminism unless you're sure you can hang.
Equal Rights Amendment was a good idea But we're still waiting to pass it here Whoo! - So, you're an expert? - Yep! For men, feminism is simple if you remember these three things.
Women are the same as men, never look at their cleavage, and never ask her if she's pregnant.
Ohh, Dad, I love you, but that is antiquated as What? If I was at my place, I could say it.
She has a point, Dre.
My anaconda-conda don't want none unless you got buns, hon I like big butts Ow! You are all crazy.
I understand women issues.
I have daughters.
And no man with daughters has ever mistreated a woman.
Yeah, that's enough, Dad.
Just admit it you're a dinosaur.
I am not a dinosaur.
Mama, back me up.
He is not a dinosaur.
- Bam.
- Look at Rainbow.
He lets her have her own bank account, he lets her work, he lets her talk reckless to his mother.
Diane, don't let her paint a picture of feminism that does not exist.
And I have an idea.
I was thinking that maybe the two of you should come with me to my next women's meeting.
ZOEY: Oh [Clears throat.]
I would.
I actually just have plans doing anything else.
- Oh.
- But I promise that whatever I do, I will embody my feminist values.
Huh, okay, that's something.
Diane, you're coming with me.
[Sighs.]
You can't tell me what to do.
I am gonna tell you what I have been telling you since you were two years old "Yes, I can.
" And they're gonna have doughnuts.
Fine, I'll go.
- But only for the doughnuts.
- Yeah! That's my girl.
- Huh? - Suit yourself, Rainbow.
But Susan B.
Anthony would've changed a lot more minds if she'd shown a little skin.
Mm.
DRE: A dinosaur? Can you believe this? [Meteor approaching, fart noise.]
CHARLIE: Of course I can.
I mean, obviously, the dinosaurs are extinct and not living on some secret government island near Galveston.
No, man, my my kids think I'm a dinosaur because I don't know much about feminism.
That's crazy, Dre.
You're the biggest feminist in here.
You've got daughters, for God's sakes.
That's what I said, man! I don't need to change.
[Laughs.]
You do not.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh Maybe your cologne.
I found a bottle in your office and I used it, and now everyone thinks that I wear it better than you do.
My family is nuts.
Okay? I have a female dentist, I definitely read a book written by a woman, and Janet is my favorite Jackson.
Every lady in this office should be patting you on the back.
I don't think we can call them ladies anymore.
I-I believe the kids are saying "Woman-Americans.
" [Groans.]
See, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
Why does this generation always have to complicate things? They're bending over backwards to change a system that works.
- Let me ask you something, Dre.
- Mm-hmm.
Would you ever let a woman pay for you on a date? - No! - Would you ever let a woman drive you around while your legs are working? - No.
- Would you ever go see a movie with a female James Bond? - Hell no! - Hell no.
Oh, God, I may have a problem.
[Video game playing.]
Okay.
[Sighs.]
I think I'm gonna need your help.
Mm.
You were right to come to us.
Mm-hmm.
The first step is admitting that you're a disgusting, hairy, misogynist beast.
I'm gonna need you to say it.
I was headed for a crash course in feminism, and so was Diane.
WOMAN: Hey, guys, welcome! Uh, I brought my daughter today.
Her name is Diane.
The next generation of activists - is going to be the fiercest one yet.
- [Applause.]
- And - I was promised doughnuts.
They are right over there.
Having Diane here is a good reminder of what we're all fighting for.
- Mm-hmm.
- Equality for all women.
We know that we can create change, and we are not gonna back down or give up.
Mm.
Not while we're all living through the worst thing to ever happen to women in this country.
[Applause.]
Hey.
Whoa, whoa! I mean, these are really bad times for women but it's not the worst thing to ever happen in our history.
- What is she talking about? - I'm confused.
- WOMAN #2: I don't know.
- Slavery.
Because black women were slaves.
- Ohh.
- Right.
So, this is your squad? Hey, welcome home! How was the Future Cat Ladies of America convention? So she's just here all the time? Yeah, and she has an apartment six miles away.
- Oh.
- DIANE: Grandma.
- Huh? - You were right.
Those women don't care about us.
And the snacks were trash, too.
You're gonna bring six doughnuts to a group function? Sounds about right.
Okay, let's not blow this out of proportion, all right? It was an ill-informed comment.
Give it up, Mom.
Obviously, feminism is canceled.
No! Okay, feminism is not canceled.
Some people have blind spots.
- Mm-hmm.
- But our group is doing really good work.
We flipped a Congressional district.
- Yes, we did.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Wow! Why didn't you say so? - Still canceled.
- What? No.
Diane, we need your voice.
I looked around tonight and I was like, "When did it get so White in here?" - Mm.
- We need more diversity.
We got to We have to shake things up.
- That's right.
We need to shake it up.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes! - And you know what? I am gonna bring some of my other friends to our next meeting.
- Can I tell you something? - Mm.
- I love it.
- See? Bow and Abby are doing things.
- Oh, my God.
- We do things together.
All right, all right.
Well, how about your change your doughnut game, then we'll talk.
Diane, you come with me, baby.
Grandma is gonna teach you the subtle art of getting men to buy you things.
We're gonna start with tacos and then we're gonna work our way up to diamonds.
[Laughs.]
So, do you have any girlfriends in mind? Yes.
Yes, I do.
Hmm.
[Shrieking.]
Oh! Mm! Look at you! Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, it's been too long! Ooh, yeah Ooh, ooh Yeah If you guys are trying to change my attitude towards women, why are you bringing me to a restaurant? Shouldn't you be taking me to, like, Lululemon, or Black Girls Rock? [Sighs.]
We have so much work to do.
It's 2019, and when it comes to women, you're still stuck in the '90s.
It's not just women.
"Humpin' Around" should not be your ringtone anymore.
So, we brought you here to observe your behavior in the wild and correct as needed.
Wait a minute, I thought y'all brought me here for my birthday.
We ready? Okay, let's go.
Hey, hey, hey.
Ladies first.
What the heck was that? I was being a gentleman.
Chivalry is a tool of the patriarchy.
Women don't need to be protected at every turn.
Yeah, they can do things on their own.
I was being polite.
Okay.
Okay.
Note taken.
I'm starting to lose hope that this ends with a cake.
[Chuckles.]
- [Yelling.]
- Oh, my goodness! I'm so glad you all could make it.
Hey, when my college roommate calls, I answer.
Yes, we're there through thick and thin.
Girl, give me more.
- Okay! - Give me more.
I mean, I didn't answer because, uh, you know, all the minutes on my burner phone have run out, so thanks for DM'ing me.
Oh, that is so cool! That's so cool! Okay, you're doing that Bow thing.
- What? - Where you compliment us before you ask us for something.
What do you need? Yeah, okay, I need your I need your help, uh, with a group of well-intentioned White women.
- Oh.
So basically what you're saying - Mm-hmm.
is you need Black-up.
I need it desperately.
[Indistinct conversations.]
We are so lucky to have Rainbow's friends here today as we get ready for the Equal Pay March this weekend.
Remember, we're all stronger together.
- [Applause.]
- Yes, we are! You guys, these signs look really cute.
Oh, I like this one.
"Equal Pay Because I'm Worth It.
" "Unequal Pay Is Not Okay.
" Yeah.
"77 Cents On The Dollar Is Not Good Enough.
" Damn right, and 77 cents is just what White women make.
For Black women, I believe it's it's 63 cents? - Mm.
- And Latinx women make even less.
RAINBOW: Tina makes a really good point.
I think the sign should say that.
I thought we should just focus on the overall numbers No.
No, they're they're right.
Uh, Sue, why don't you get started on a new sign? - Go, Sue.
- Okay.
I'm doing it.
I'm breaking out my puffy paint.
[Laughs.]
Hey, guys.
Can I get you anything else? Yes.
Could we have some more ice teas and a smile? I mean, your day can't be going that bad.
Hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go, go, go.
- Oh, man.
- [Groans.]
I cannot believe what I just saw.
Yeah.
Pops, way to be a creep.
- Unh-unh.
- Not him.
You.
You can't just tell a woman to smile.
I was being nice.
It looked as if she was having a bad day, so I was just trying to cheer her up.
By telling her what to do with her face? When's the last time you told a man to smile? Pops was so much worse! He's too old to be learning new tricks.
He'll be dead soon! No offense.
None taken.
I'm just here for the free meal.
And maybe a personal sized cobbler with a sparkler in it.
- Ah.
- Hmm? Hmm? Oh, here she comes.
Apologize.
I don't have anything to apologize for.
Will that be all? You know, can I ask you a question? Did I make you feel uncomfortable when I told you to smile? If at any time during this conversation you feel uncomfortable, just use the safe word "calamari.
" Also, we'd like to order some more calamari.
Oh, yeah, this is bomb.
Honestly, it was annoying.
I hear, "You should smile" from creepy dudes every day.
That's not how I meant it, okay? I'm not creepy.
All right, the the the the the the the rules just keep changing around me.
You know, I can't be a gentleman, I can't try to cheer you up.
Next you're probably gonna tell me I can't call you "little mama" or "baby girl.
" Chad, we have a code blue.
It's my break.
Chad's got you.
Okay, that's it.
I give up.
I'm never gonna get this.
It's too late for me.
[Explosion.]
[Screaming.]
[Grunts.]
Get out of here! Save yourselves! [Echoing.]
It's too late for me! Cool.
[Sultry music plays.]
Aoogah! So, calamari for the table? You gonna tell him to smile? [Laughter.]
Hey, did you guys hear that Catherine Jameson might run for that open Congressional seat in the Valley? I didn't hear that.
That's cool.
Yes! I think it could be so great for women.
I feel our next project coming on.
- [Laughs.]
- Wait, she's the former sheriff, right? Yeah.
Yeah, I remember reading that her department had problems with excessive use of force.
Well, still, having a woman in that seat would be great for I know, but, Abby, don't you think we should dig into some of the stuff that Tina just said? Oh, yeah.
No, of course, of course.
I mean, I'm sure there's got to be a great Black woman that could run for that seat, right? - It's such a good idea.
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- I mean, I know a few.
What a great dialogue.
Yeah.
Hey, Bow, can I talk to you for one second? - Yes, of course.
- Okay.
Wait.
Isn't this great? Oh, my God, they're so amazing.
Yeah, oh, my God, they are amazing.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's fun.
I just Um, I feel like we keep getting off track.
- Really? - Yeah.
The conversation keeps drifting toward race, and this group's more focused on women's issues.
I thought you said you wanted more diversity.
- Is that a problem now? - No, I just, you know I didn't think that you were gonna come in and take over the whole group.
[Chuckles.]
What do you mean by "take over"? I'm just saying, like, this group does what we do for not just a specific group of women, but for all women.
Oh.
Okay, Abby, when you say "all women," you mean, "White women.
" - No, no, no.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's what you mean.
That's what that means.
Bow, you're talking to me like I'm the bad guy.
- I'm your friend.
I just - Okay, you're asking me to choose between being a woman and being Black.
I don't have that privilege.
No, I just I feel like you're distracting from the bigger issue.
This is the issue.
I Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go.
Diane, sweetie, let's go.
I think we should go.
- Oh, wait.
- All right, I'm gonna My coat is by the door.
I'm gonna go.
But, uh, good job on the doughnuts, though.
Like Ugh.
Ruby.
Yes? I hate to admit it, but I think you might have been right.
About how Skinny Luther Vandross and Fat Luther Vandross are two different people? No, about Abby.
Oh, Lord.
It's just that we were both so passionate about the same issues that it covered up the fact that that group had a big old blind spot.
Well, don't beat yourself up about it.
I mean, we've all been there.
At least she didn't try to tell you that Irish people were slaves, too.
Ugh.
I really miss Tammy.
Mm, she had the best seven-layer dip.
You know, Rainbow, you are looking at this the wrong way.
Now, you're upset, you don't know who to trust.
But on the bright side hey! You're not a feminist anymore.
Ugh, mm.
- Okay.
- Wow.
I'm glad that is not my mama.
Yeah, and she's wrong because I am still a feminist.
- Yes.
- It took me a long time to claim that word.
- I'm not just gonna give it up.
- Damn straight.
I thought that group was different, and I'm bummed.
Aww, I know this is hard, Bow.
But you're one of the strongest women I know.
Yeah.
Girl, my divorce was hard, too.
I don't know how I survived that.
- [Chuckles.]
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, we we just gonna sit up in here and talk about how hard Bow has it? You are no stranger to hard situations.
- Mnh-mnh.
- So, what you gonna do about this one? I turned my back for a second and the world passes me by.
How am I supposed to catch up? It's nice to be out of touch.
In about 10 years, you'll be able to really - slide into sweet ignorance.
- [Chuckles.]
You know, you guys aren't the only ones with this problem.
What? Come on, man.
You know all this stuff.
You're Generation Woke.
Yeah, but, you know, it's still easy to get tripped up.
I posted something on Twitter in support of LGBTQ people, but I forgot IA, and now I am getting dragged.
What's IA? Uh, you're not ready to know yet.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
If a kid isn't up on all this stuff, what chance do I have? You know, maybe there is no point.
How many times have you had to explain Black Lives Matter at work? Hmm.
Man, I lost count.
[Scoffs.]
Those guys, they they should get it by now.
They should.
But why do you think they don't? Because every time it becomes uncomfortable, they all start to tune out.
Mm.
And they have all the power.
- Mm-hmm.
- So what are you gonna do? It's exhausting, son.
And it's It's not even like I'm asking for a lot.
- Yeah.
- You know, I I try to tell them what they can do to be better, and it's like they can't even wrap their head around it.
Which sounds a lot like Me.
Hey.
Do men treat feminism like White people treat racism? Mm.
So, men are the White people of gender? Damn.
I can't believe I have been White guy-ing these women all this time.
Do I have any other blind spots? Oh, well, you're a terrible listener No, I'm good.
Pops, can you believe this kid? [Sighs.]
You know, it makes me glad I wasn't around enough for you to teach me any lessons.
So, Bow decided.
If she wanted a more inclusive group, she'd have to build one from scratch.
So, these are the women who are going to save the world? - Mm-hmm.
- [Chuckles.]
I wouldn't trust them to save me a seat.
Oh.
Everybody, let's get started, - shall we? - WOMAN: Whoo! All right, you are all the founding members of L.
A.
's newest activism group for women of color.
Ooh.
Hear, hear.
Because we know that allies are important, but we need to have our own safe spaces where our voices matter.
[Applause.]
Mom, when you put it like that, it doesn't sound totally terrible.
Diane, you're not buying this.
A group of five or more women should be a church meeting.
Or a Mary Kay party.
Ruby, you don't think that women deserve equal pay? They deserve more.
And I know you wouldn't let a man talk down to you.
Now, you know ain't no man talking down to me.
And you'd fight for a woman to be able to make her own decisions.
With my fist! - Grandma.
- Mm? You're a feminist.
Just like Mom and me.
Aww.
All right.
You listen to me.
If any of you ever call me a feminist, I'm gonna slap your salty little mouths.
Now, I'm going to put on two bras.
Just because.
That's right.
Two of 'em.
Here we go! Some snacks for my strong women Americans.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- My man - Bow.
- What? - What is wrong with this man? Just snatching it out of her hand like that? Doesn't your husband know how to be a gentleman? Well, the Well, the gentleman made the sandwiches.
- Sweetheart.
- Hmm? Ladies first.
But it's 2019, babe! What about the patriarchy? What am I doing wrong? I've been asking that question for the past 20 years.