#blackAF s01e03 Episode Script

1 O say can you see By the dawn's early light Well, today is a big day at the Barris house.
We're celebrating Independence Day.
No, not that Independence Day.
"The real one," as my dad calls it.
Juneteenth.
And in honor of Juneteenth, I think that we should play what he calls "the real national anthem.
" Say Can you see By the dawn's Early light February 7th, 1983, is the day Marvin Gaye turned this hymn into a jam.
And June 19th, 1865, is the day slavery, quote-unquote, "officially ended," and the day everyone in this country was, quote-unquote, "finally free.
" O'er the ramparts we watched Although you may not have heard of Juneteenth, black people, Rachel Dolezal, Michael Rapaport, and all the Kardashians have every reason to celebrate it.
O'er the land of the free Juneteenth is a uniquely African-American holiday, celebrated by our people far and wide.
No, I'm just kidding.
Hardly anybody celebrates that shit.
Honestly, it took me three weeks to find this footage.
Most of it's just a generic YouTube video I found called, "Black People Love BBQ.
" What's that there, yo? Ooh.
That's that goddamn meat, man.
The only person I know who actually celebrates it is my dad There could be a lot of different independent slaves, but how could anybody be independent if everybody wasn't independent? who takes it super serious.
I mean, Juneteenth is like his Puerto Rican Day Parade.
Oh you don't even drink strawberry soda.
Dude, I am strawberry soda.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Jesus, this is sweet! Oh, my God.
Ooh.
Oh.
Okay.
That's great, guys.
That's great.
I gotta be honest.
When I called "Brothers Moving," this is not what I expected, but, you know, this is fine.
Thanks.
Bearby.
Can you come here for a second? That's when I I'm saying your name because Do not just look at me.
- Okay, okay, I'm coming.
- Oh, my God.
Take it in, like, look at it for a second.
Mm-hm.
That's about all I need.
You like it? No.
No, no, I don't.
What, um What's going on here? It came.
What What is it? The Knowledge Bennett.
Been looking for it.
It came.
When is Knowledge Bennett going to finish it? It's finished, Jo.
It's Sorry, it's a - black square.
- Is that Is that all you see? That's ridicul I feel sorry for you.
Tell me, what am I supposed to see? Are you Are you being serious right now? Yes.
Jo, it's obviously a piece on blackness.
The whites flecks specks, they represent, like, the assimil What it is, this is a piece on what it's like to be black a black man in America.
And the white specks represent, like, assimilation and gentrification.
Have you seen Baldwin Hills lately? Inglewood? It's a postmodern contemporary piece on gentrification, anti-gentrification, and gentrified How much did you pay for this? You know what? Fuck it.
I'm going to call our business manager.
You have been taken advantage of again.
You're like an old lady who just got email.
- It's sad.
It's really sad.
- You can't put a price on this.
- It's priceless.
- Yes.
No, you can.
You should.
How much is a share of Apple? How much is a share - That's not a good thing.
- No, that's not a good example.
You can't put a pr - This - Can I just have anything? - You got took.
- Can I have something to myself? You got took.
I'm calling our business manager.
Fuck - Thanks.
Thank you.
- What did I do? You just Thank you.
All this about Juneteenth, my parents' pettiness, and my dad's complete inability to talk about art That's not really what this is about.
I just wanted to set the scene, create what's called a tableau, admissions office at NYU.
No, this is about something way more serious.
Something that could alter the course of a child's life forever.
Uh, Mom, have you seen Izzy? I think she said she needed you.
What, Izzy? She said that? She said the words "need" and "Mom" in the same sentence? Yeah, I don't know what she wants, but she's upstairs.
I I think.
I mean, that's my baby.
She needs me, right? Whatever she needs.
Okay, I need you to get a tight and I need you to get a wide.
Is there any way we could do a Zolly? - I don't think so.
- Okay, you're probably right.
Goddamn it, I'm gonna find a way.
Okay, we'll keep this long and loose.
I want you to catch everything.
This is where you earn your money, guys.
- Got it.
- No.
Take that, just go.
Okay, all right.
Big Birkin bag Hold five, six figures Stripes on my ass So he call this pussy Tigger Fuckin' on a scammin' ass Rich ass nigga Same group of bitches Ain't no adding to the picture Drop a couple racks Watch this ass get bigger Get in there, I want the money shot! Don't let me down.
I'm so sorry, excuse me.
I ain't got time For you fake ass hoes Talkin' all loud In them fake ass clothes Fake ass shoes Match that fake ass gold I'm the realest bitch ever To you snake ass hoes Act up, you can get snatched up It's Yung Miami And I came to run my sack up Tired ass hoes on my page Told you it was serious.
City Girls goin' platinum I keep a baby Glock I ain't fightin' with no random, period Yo, you seen this one? - Oh, she's back? - Whoo.
- I thought she had a baby.
- No.
Well, I mean, she was pregnant.
I think she had one of them Dominican click-click pow! late-terms.
Oh, wow.
This is Broadway.
I've known him my entire life.
He grew up with my dad.
Interesting guy.
You might be wondering why my dad would keep a guy like this around.
Truth is, it's actually not that uncommon.
When black dudes make it, they usually take their crew with them.
Jay-Z has Ty Ty and Emory.
Will Smith has Charlie Mack.
LeBron has Maverick.
My dad says the benefit of having your boys around is not only can you trust them, but they keep you grounded and never let you forget where you came from.
Also, I'm not sure, but I think back in the day, Broadway might have killed someone for my dad.
I gotta give it up.
You don't really see that kind of commitment from IG models.
That's dedication.
No, I'm telling you.
Listen, a baby at her age, right on the cusp of a milli followers? That little nigga could've sunk her.
Taken her right out of the Explore Page game.
- That's like blowing your ACL.
- Yeah.
- Rookie year.
- It's awful.
Oh, my God.
You will not believe what I just saw Izzy doing.
I don't think it can be great.
I heard "Act Up" blaring out of her room.
Not exactly the theme song to, like, a nonprofit start.
Yeah, that shit's pretty much the sonic equivalent of a dirty hypodermic needle.
I'm sorry, babe.
I'm just kidding.
Are you okay? - Do you want me to go talk to her? - No, I'll I'll handle it.
- Are you sure? I don't mind going - Yeah, I'm good.
- I'm good, thanks.
- Oh, okay.
- Well, let me know.
- Yeah.
- See what I did there? - Yes, I did.
- That was a double ask.
- That's That's 20 years.
Oh, very nice.
That's a savvy vet move.
I gotta be honest with you, dawg.
Raising my daughters scares the shit out of me.
All those girls scare the shit out of me.
That's why I let Jo handle it.
I mean, she's not doing a great job, obviously, they're out of control.
But at least it's off my plate.
Honestly, man, I just focus where for me right now, I'm raising my little dudes.
- I can handle that.
- Right.
- You know what I'm saying? - Right.
- What up? What up, my D's? - Hey, Dad! Yo, what's going on, y'all? What's up with school? Wizard school or Dothraki school? I was just talking about school-school.
That's Dothraki for "easy-peasy.
" He's level nine.
What was that? Um What what's that you got there? We made the most annoying robot in the entire world.
- Check it out.
- Nice.
- You made this? - Turn it on.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Come on, Broadway.
- Come on, turn it on.
What's the struggle? Turn it on.
- Come on, turn it on.
- It's easy.
Okay, okay, okay, guys, I think I think Uncle Broadway gets it.
Here, take that back.
You made a really cool robot that's very annoying, as promised.
Why don't you guys do anything other than be around here right now? Okay, I love you, Dad.
Lo love you too, buddy.
- Jesus.
- Yeah, that was rough.
Dude, did I drop the ball? Uh I mean, you kind of put me in a tough spot, dawg.
You saw that.
- Yeah.
- Are they okay? I mean, I thought they were.
Who put them in Dothraki school? Like - That's my money paying for that? - Wizard school, bro? This is their mom's fault.
I really should just handle everybody on my own, or leave.
- Dudes leave their family all the time.
- They do.
And they seem like they have natural, like, good times.
I turned out cool, bro.
Leaving's not the answer.
So, Mom, that thing with Izzy, what do you feel about that? Honestly, um I'm still processing.
I don't want to talk to her until I I mean, silence, to me, seems like a strange impulse to an epic parental failure.
- Drea Please - You know what? I'm sorry, I'm editorializing.
Why don't you just walk me through what you're feeling? Probably some self-loathing? Disappointment? Really take me there.
Well, I wasn't feeling any of those things until you just said that.
- Well, I'm glad I could help.
- Is that what you call it? "Help"? Hey, I don't want to be an alarmist here, but the next 24 hours determines whether or not Izzy lives or dies.
Oh.
Well, I'm glad you're not being an alarmist.
My mom pays for my subscription to The Atlantic.
I wish she read it once in a while.
Since she seemed so unconcerned on the subject, I had to explain that society sees black girls as older than their age.
That it's not just a problem, it's an epidemic.
That this idea has been around ever since slavery.
How nothing is more convenient than creating a narrative that little black girls look and act older than their age to justify all the horrible shit this country has asked of us.
And how now, 400 years later, there's finally a name for it: adultification.
I then pointed out the countless studies done about adultification.
Like the one from Georgetown Law, which showed that 325 adults from different races and backgrounds all perceive black girls as being more mature, more sexual and less in need of protection than white girls their age.
And this perception affects every aspect of our lives, whether it's in school, where black girls are three times more likely to get disciplined than white girls.
Or the healthcare system, where black women or two to six times more likely to die from complications of pregnancy than white women.
And black infants die twice as often as their white counterparts.
And we're sure as hell less protected than white girls from predators.
If all that's not bad enough, we've got social media to thank for making it even easier for the messed-up way the world looks at us to just flourish.
And since black girls as young as five years old are subject to this crap, adultification means that little black girls, like Izzy, don't get to have a childhood.
So the way I looked at it, my mom had two choices.
Either talk to Izzy now or see her in a bikini on the Explore page of Broadway's Instagram.
Now, I'm going to ask you again.
How are you feeling? First of all, I am so proud of my little girl.
You are so smart.
I taught you so well.
I probably would have added something about Venus Hottentot and how she was paraded naked all over Europe because of her big butt 'cause that would've added a little bit of historical context I'm talking about Izzy! How are you feeling about Izzy? Um Like an epic parental failure.
God, is she going to be okay? I blew it.
We got it.
Oh, my God, I blew it.
She's gonna be on the pole soon.
It's a black gentrification, origin story of black people.
Like, if if the radioactive spider bit blackness, this and made it move out like, okay.
So, like, black are you You don't have to answer, but are you anyway, gentrification is a part of Bixby, remind me to call the business manager ASAP.
Sweetie, hi.
I'm so happy to see you.
I wanted to, um, talk to you.
Yeah, I need to ask you um, something.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, ask me anything.
What What do you need? Uh, can you just tell Caleb's parents that I'm not going to the sleepover? Yeah, that's no problem.
But, honey Stink, I just wanted to talk - about what happened earlier.
- Babe.
I think there's a lot of things you don't realize What time is the liberation feast gonna be ready? Like, people need to be freed.
- Honestly.
- I know.
But, Izzy, I'm not done with you.
- Babe, like, times? - I'm not Like, we need to know what time the freedom cake needs time to rise up.
I was trying to have something with my daughter.
She needed something from me.
You ruined that.
So, thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm worried about what time people Your cake? Is that what you want? Your cake? It just needs time to rise up, I said.
- You wanna rise up? Here.
- Oh, my God, you're so Rise up.
Rise up.
- Does that sound risen to you? - No.
That sounds enslaved.
Of course she doesn't care.
She's always doing some half-assed Juneteenth celebration.
Remember last year? She ordered a pizza and put on the Fleetwood Mac station on Sonos.
Fleetwood Mac for the ending of slavery.
That's what she gave us.
The pizza was not bad, to be fair.
You don't have to pick up their stuff.
That's not your job.
They should pick up their own stuff.
I sometimes leave stuff around.
I'd like that picked up, though.
And my wife can pick up her own stuff, too.
Um, I lost my Rolex.
It's like a watch like this.
If you see it, it can just go back and I won't say anything.
Okay? - Tickle attack! - Ah! Ah! Oh, my Hold on! What What is that smell? Oh, my God, it's the both of you! You smell like two tiny little homeless men! This isn't cool, man, this is like a bumfight! When's the last time you guys took a shower? I don't know.
My dad has a pretty unique way of getting answers out of the boys when he needs them.
Just look here, you stinking little hobos.
I got some simple questions and I'm expecting some simple answers.
And by "unique," I mean he stole it from Menace II Society.
Now listen to me, you little bitch.
I'm gonna ask you some real simple questions and I want some real simple answers.
The exact cadence, words, he even made my camera guy shoot it the same way.
So unoriginal.
So let's get this straight.
When was the last time you showered? Saturday morning.
So you showered on a Saturday At 11:15? Showered on Saturday morning.
Yeah, 11:15.
Was that before or after the movies? Before.
It was before the movies.
It was before the movies.
Uh, yes, I think.
If I recall correctly.
Yes.
So I'm gonna ask you again.
Last time you showered was Friday? Yes, we definitely showered on Friday.
Definitely.
Now, you see, son.
You see that date? You know you done fucked up now, right? - You done fucked up.
You know that? - You done fucked up.
You just said you showered on Friday.
You didn't go to the movies on Friday.
Fine! It was Thursday morning.
We had school pictures! So you guys haven't showered in four days? Four Earth days.
It's kind of time-management issues.
Mom says we don't have to shower on the weekends as long as we go in the pool.
- What? - No.
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
Guys, listen.
You're getting too old for this.
Seriously, this is real this is real stuff, man.
People aren't gonna wanna fool with you if you stink, man.
You know what I'm saying? How you smell matters.
It's hygiene.
We're about to have dinner in a second now.
You guys need to go upstairs and get in the shower, or I'm calling the dog groomer.
No, that's not an option.
Go shower! That wasn't a real thing! And use soap.
Real human soap.
Okay! I can't say shit.
I ain't seen my kid in four months.
Izzy! Oh, my God.
I saw your Instagram story.
- You killed it.
- Thanks.
So you could have bent your knees a little bit on the booty pop, but we'll get you there.
Izzy? Can you not encourage that, please? Dancing? So I shouldn't encourage my little sister to express herself joyfully to music? I mean, come on.
You act like you never danced - with your friends before.
- I do dance with my friends, but I don't put it out there for everybody to see.
It's not the same thing.
The Get Down Crew is a semi-professional, organized dance team for stress relief and exercise.
You told me it was a mandatory team-building exercise - your law firm made you do.
- I love my dancing! It's all I have! It is all I have.
Come on, Mom, Izzy's just posting like any other kid her age.
And everyone twerks.
It's like our version of the Twist or whatever you did growing up.
The Twist? What the hell How old do you think I am? I literally have no idea how old Mom is.
Do you? Wow.
Now that I think about it, I have no idea.
She's gotta be, like, early 50s, late 20s? Sixty would be crazy.
She's not 60.
No.
Wow, my mom really might be 60 years old.
No, 60's crazy.
She's not 60.
You know, honestly, it doesn't matter.
- However old she is, she looks great.
- Yeah.
She's had work done, right? Definitely.
But, like, the good work.
- Like J.
Lo or Keanu.
- Okay.
Yeah, not like Dad.
Wait, hold up.
Dad's had work done? Oh, yeah.
A lot.
He's had, like, beard stuff, a couple tummy tucks.
- No way.
- You know, I heard Granny say one time that he almost died getting eyelid surgery.
What the fuck was he trying to do to his eyelids? Hell, I don't know.
But it didn't work.
Like, at all.
- Looks like he's never slept.
- Or drunk water.
Damn.
We should really figure out how old our parents are.
Yeah, we're not great.
This is about adultification.
There's a really insightful article that I read Oh, my God! Have you been talking to Drea? Don't let her spin you out like this.
You've had all of this great work done.
You don't want frown lines.
Look, I I can't just ignore this, Chlo.
I want my girls to know that sexuality isn't their only currency, you know? I mean, isn't that the whole point of feminism? - Drea was actually saying - No, Drea is not a feminist.
She's a bully.
She's out here telling women how to act and dress and think.
She's like the Taliban but less fun.
I mean, we gotta let Izzy get her life.
This is the moment for girls to do whatever they want.
Yeah, sure.
Unfortunately, that does not apply to black girls.
Hey, I know that, Mom.
And it's exactly why she has to do everything her white friends are doing.
Aw.
My baby.
I just want to protect her.
Okay, this is the culture now, Mom.
You should be proud of her, not slut-shaming her.
Are you saying she's a slut? Oh, my God, my baby girl's a slut.
Drea's right.
I'm a total failure.
My daughter is a slut and it's my fault.
Dude, being a slut isn't a bad thing.
It is bad-bitch season, and you have to get with the times! Instagram models make more than neurosurgeons.
And strippers are the shit.
God, I hope Chloe is not stripping.
And if she is, I hope she's not doing it at Spearmint Rhino 'cause I keep finding matchbooks from there in your dad's jeans.
You know what? Fuck it.
That might be the sobering moment they both need.
That might be the best thing for both of them.
Huh.
Come on, Mom.
Are you telling me you've never had your bad-bitch moment? Um Um, not that I Not that I can recall, no.
If you ever show anyone that photo, I will have you killed and I will still cry at your funeral.
If you want to be a good mom, you're gonna let Izzy dance with her friends like a normal 13-year-old girl.
And I promise you, if you go up there and give some weirdo speech about adultification, you're just gonna make things way worse, and she's not gonna want to talk to you about anything.
You know what? Just throw everything I said about gentrification out.
Gentrification has nothing to do with this.
This box represents black culture.
Right? That's the blackness of the box.
- Right.
- This is black culture.
And the white flecks are, like the white people coming in and push Okay, okay, that's gentrification.
So don't throw it all out, - because that's something to do with this.
- Oh, okay.
So the white diamond flecks represent gentrifica represent white gentrifica you know, black gentr You can't escape blackness, dude.
It's a black box that you can't get out of, man.
You know what I'm saying? Uh, so should I just tell your urologist you'll call him back or Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hey, guys.
Can you come here for a second? Yeah.
What's up? Does this Does this feel right to you? I mean, my clothes are a little tight.
- Clothes are a little tight? - Mine feel pretty loose.
Like, really loose? Almost like they could fit his body? And do yours feel almost like they could fit his body? To be fair, it was an honest mistake.
Having said that, though, I do not hate this.
Me neither.
I like the room.
You know, I can be myself.
I like to move.
But, you know, I'm I'm a casual guy.
And I'm more into, like, a Euro fit.
I feel like I'm in my true form.
And if our dad spent more time with us, I'm pretty sure he'd know that.
Why would I want to spend more time with them? They're idiots.
I mean, they're small idiots.
I'm sorry, I don't mean that.
I mean they are idiots, but maybe this is a little bit on me.
I mean, I've been so busy trying to, like, build a legacy around them, I guess I could have neglected who they are and what they're becoming.
I guess that's possible.
No, fuck that.
This is genetic.
It's in their marrow.
Joya's little brothers are weirdos.
They're gonna bottom out at Chico State and get hooked on Lean.
I can smell it.
Bixby, remind me to change my will.
Call lawyer immediately.
Look at part with Joya.
May take her out, too.
Genetic defects.
I I'll take the call.
He said to just come in.
Fuck! I'm sure it's fine.
I'm sure it's good news.
It's probably good news.
You want one? You know I do.
Take this one.
Whoa.
I was gonna tell you I thought I messed up with the boys, but are you okay? I just I don't know what to do about Izzy.
I feel like I need to press her, you know, or I'm about to lose her, but if I press her, I could also lose her.
Wanna talk about it, babe? Not really.
You sure? It's just, like, with Chloe.
It was so clear who she was.
You know, she was like extroverted and social and bubbly.
And Drea was, like, this introverted, cerebral And at some point have to let go.
I mean, that's something I do know.
I just felt like it wasn't gonna be this soon, so Normally, the double ask works.
Like, every time.
But when it backfires, Jesus Christ, does it backfire! It's like I like I knew how to parent them, you know? 'Cause they were who they were, and I just kind of watched them become the best versions of themselves.
But with Izzy, it's like I don't know who she is yet, - so I don't really know - Mm-hm.
what to say to her or how to help her.
I'm sorry.
- Am I rambling? - No.
- I'm rambling.
- No, you're Go.
Please continue.
It's just, like, I really thought that I would have her for longer.
Like, that's my baby, that's my baby girl, you know? - Oh, my God.
- I feel like I'm losing her.
My My nose is bleeding.
I'll be Yeah.
You can't see the blood, though, but it's bleeding.
I'll be right back.
- You okay? - Yea, I'm fine, babe.
It's bloodless.
Bloodless nosebleed.
It happens.
I love you.
Stink? Hi, Stink.
Hi, you have a minute? No, not really.
Okay, well, um, I just I've been wanting to talk to you about If you're here to talk about the dancing video, don't worry.
I I already took it down.
You did? I take all my videos down, like, an hour after I post it.
Don't want my content getting stale.
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah, that's cool.
Very cool.
No No stale content.
Did you tell Caleb's parents that I can't make it to the sleepover? You know what? I haven't, I'm sorry.
I'll do that.
- I'm sorry.
- Great.
Thanks, Mom.
Honey, what What's going on? You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Everything's great.
Okay.
I'll leave you to refresh your content.
Mom? Remember last week when the entire team was at Caleb's house? Yeah.
We were playing 2K like we always do, and then everyone decided they wanted to play ball, so I switched up my clothes, and when I came out, everyone was looking at me crazy.
I didn't know why until Caleb came up to me and whispered that I should probably go put a bra on.
No! Yeah.
It's just weird now.
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
That's why you don't want to go tonight to his house.
Yeah.
It's, like, overnight, everything's different.
Yeah, I can imagine.
It's just awkward now.
Yeah, I get that, but he's your friend, right? For a long time? You gonna just stop being friends with him? No, Caleb's my boy.
I just think the sleepover days might be over.
It's fine.
But he'll still be my friend.
Okay.
In life, everyone faces pressure.
And, as black people, we face a lot.
But our ability to overcome that pressure is what celebrating Juneteenth is all about.
Because with enough pressure, what do you get? Diamonds.
Shining brightest in the face of adversity.
Illuminating those precious moments like knowing you're going to have your baby for a little bit longer.
- Yes! - Buckets! Whoo! That's my girl! Or realizing that your legacy is bigger and broader than you thought.
And it turns out that's what this painting was all about.
I mean, I don't get it.
I do.
I'm actually the artist who made it.
Knowledge Bennet.
Oh, my God.
I'm I'm so sorry.
I'm Joya.
I'm Kenya's wife.
It's a painting about spirituality.
It's a painting about the essence of who we are.
As black people, we're so many different things; variations of so many different colors.
And it's the sum total of all of these colors that presents blackness in its purest form; in all of its brilliance, all of its splendor.
God, that's so beautiful.
I totally get it.
- Thank you.
I appreciate that.
- Hold on, what? You get it? That's a literally word for word what I've been saying all night long.
- Almost verbatim.
- That's literally nothing like what you said.
Did you talk about gentrification? - No.
No.
- What? That man explained it beautifully.
Okay.