Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s05e11 Episode Script

These Giants Are Flexible

1
Honey, you're gonna love New York Bob.
- ABISHOLA: I cannot wait to meet him.
- I dress sharper,
I walk faster,
I talk with my hands more.
Whoa, what are you doing?
I'm packin' over here.
Please do not talk like that
at Dele's audition.
You know,
we got the whole weekend in the city.
Does New York Abishola
like to be wined and dined?
Until her son gets into Juilliard,
she does not like anything.
Dele!
There's a great little bar by the hotel.
That sounds lovely,
but we're staying with my brother.
He lives in a one-bedroom.
I thought we agreed there was no space.
You said that.
And then you said, "Uh-huh."
That is what I say
when I'm not listening.
Ade is family.
I'm not sleeping on an air mattress.
New York Bob and Detroit
Bob both have sciatica.
Yes, Mum?
Did you pack your raincoat?
- Yes.
- And your dancing shoes?
They're just sneakers.
Yes, I brought my dancing shoes.
I'm gonna be right there
in the front row,
cheering my lungs out.
I'm bringing my foam finger.
You're not really doing that, right?
Does no one want to
have fun on this trip?
This is the single most
important day of Dele's life.
Ugh. No pressure.
Pressure is a privilege.
It's how diamonds are made.
Man, y-you really did a number on him.
I did.
Hey, while we're there,
I got a list of bagel
places we got to try.
After. After!
["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]
Where are you, Adeoluwa?
Call me back.
You know, if we were at the hotel
What?
We wouldn't be
having this nice time
waiting for your brother.
This is a cool area.
This is Brooklyn.
It is full of hoodlums and dope dealers.
And vicious designer dogs.
I should have lied to him
about what time we were coming.
Ade is always late.
Eh, maybe he got stuck at work.
He does not work, he is a musician.
Maybe there was a musical emergency.
He probably lost track of time,
bebopping and scatting around town.
I bet the ladies like him.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY] Yeah.
Shame on you, Bob.
Your uncle has never held a real job.
He is scratching out a living
traveling all over the world
for his little "gigs."
Honey, if you're trying
to scare the kid away from this,
maybe don't make it sound so cool.
Hey! Look who's early.
I told you 12:00, dum-dum.
You know that was just
a suggestion, big head.
[LAUGHS]
Ah-ah, look at this grown man.
Is this Dele?
Hello, Uncle.
[NASALLY]: "Hello, Uncle."
[REGULAR VOICE]: [LAUGHS] Come here.
[CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
Who is this white man?
Wow, you guys really don't talk.
I am only joking.
Everybody knows about the king of socks.
King? Oh, you just earned yourself
a pair of knee-highs, my friend.
Come, I'll show you inside.
I didn't know I had cool relatives.
Come on, your mom's cool.
Welcome to my humble abode.
Mm. It is very humble.
Look at all this cool stuff.
Just some collections
from my travels, eh?
[CHUCKLES] Big head,
you remember that one?
You stole it from the
beer garden in Berlin.
I did not steal it.
I wanted to buy it but
they would not let me.
So you stole it.
I left a big tip.
You guys were in Berlin together?
Mm-hmm. I was there studying, your uncle
was playing his music
in some little jazz cave.
Your mother came to that cave
and she smoked a cigarette.
I did not.
ADE: That night, I played
with Herbie Hancock.
Abishola tried to seduce him.
I did not.
He turned her down.
He did not.
So, you and Herbie
We did not.
You know,
I always love meeting your relatives.
I learn so much about you
big head.
Do not call me that.
These are all high schoolers?
That guy has a beard.
Some of these kids got to be juicing.
Start stretching.
These giants are flexible.
Mom, I can stretch all I want,
I will never be able to do that.
That's all right,
that guy's a freak of nature.
And that one, too.
Oh, man.
Hey, don't psych yourself out.
Remember, you earned a spot here.
- Mm-hmm.
- And failure is not an option.
Right. Right, right, right.
The important thing is to have fun.
Ah-ah. Do not listen to him.
You are not here for fun.
You are here to crush the competition.
Honey, that's a little intense.
- No, that's good. I'm gonna dominate.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, even if you don't,
we still love you.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
You are Bamidele Adebambo,
and you will dance
all over their dreams.
I will. Thanks, Mom.
Do not thank me until the job is done.
I got this.
We should've had you coach the Pistons.
They are terrible.
I only work with winners.
[EXHALES]
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYS]

Honey, the stage is this way.
Mm-mm. I cannot watch.
Oh, he's doing great.
Your scary pep talk really worked.
So he is winning?
Well, it's not really a competition.
Is he winning?
Sure.
My wonderful son.
Destroy them.
It's just a bunch of judges.
Destroy them!
[MOUTHING]

[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYS OVER PHONE]

[MUSIC STOPS]

- [MUSIC STOPS]
- Okay.

You know,
I bet your brother has headphones.
I cannot see Dele's face.
Why didn't you zoom?
[EXHALES] I'm sorry,
I didn't realize this was
my cameraman audition.
Just relax.
He kicked ass today.
I will not be able to relax
until I know he got in.
Okay, well, then,
let's have a tense celebration.
[STRAINS]: The kid did great. Hooray!
[LAUGHING]
Come here.
You can feel good about this.
It's been a long road and
we all made it to the end.
Mm-mm. Do not jinx it.
You are counting the
chickens before they hatch.
Hey, come on, that chicken hatched
and he came out dancing.
You should be proud.
Maybe a little.
Say it.
[SIGHS]
I am proud of my chicken.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
Okay.
[GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, my God. There he is!
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
- Success, success ♪
- Success, success ♪
Success, success ♪
She's a hell of a mom ♪
Abishola, you're a hell of a mom ♪
Your son's a success because
your parenting's strong ♪

It's all thanks to you ♪
That's why we're
singing this song ♪
Abishola, you're a hell of a mom ♪
The things he'll
accomplish are so many ♪
That's why we'll pray ♪
Dele will go far and do plenty ♪
And all will say ♪
Abishola, you're a hell of a mom ♪
Your son's a success because
your parenting's strong ♪
It's all thanks to you ♪
That's why we're
singing this song ♪

- You really do it all.
- I do.
And you really did know
what was best for me.
Of course I did.
And the bottom line is

You're a hell of a mom. ♪
A hell of a mom.
Watch your mouth.
- Did it come?
- Bob, you're right next to me.
If the email comes, you'll know.
Hey, has Dele heard back yet?
No, because your Internet is
as slow as your shower drain.
Try switching to my neighbor's.
The password is "Ade,
stop stealing my Wi-Fi."
There's the email.
Okay, I just want to say
no matter what happens,
you should be very proud of yourself.
Okay, it has been said. Open it.
Oh, I'm too nervous.
I will do it.
Well?
You're kidding me.
I didn't get in?
You performed well. They are fools.
I worked my ass off for this.
You did, buddy.
We all did.
I gave up everything
for this stupid dream.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?!
- Easy.
- Hey.
Look, I-I, I'll go talk to him.
I'm sorry, Sister.
Me, too.
I'm still glad you came.
Thank you for letting us stay here.
Of course.
But I do need some money for my laptop.
I mean
Wow, James Brolin ate here.
Who's that?
He's married to Barbra Streisand.
Who's that?
Eat a pickle.
I'm not hungry.
You will be when these
sandwiches get here.
Best in the world, trust me.
My choreography was too simple.
Why did I think that routine
would get me into Juilliard?
Here you go.
Thank you. [CHUCKLES]
It's a work of art, am I right?
It's just a sandwich, Bob.
I know you're upset,
so I'm gonna let that go.
It was all for nothing.
I lied to my mom, threw away Harvard.
For what? To come here and fail.
Look, nothing I can say
is gonna fix this.
It sucks.
Yeah, it does.
I'm not gonna tell you it'll get better.
I'm not gonna tell you
you'll bounce back,
'cause I've been in your shoes.
And when people told me stuff like that,
I wanted to punch 'em in the face.
Thank you.
You want to know the big secret to life?
I'd rather just eat the sandwich.
Most things don't work out.
Wow, I feel much better.
But that's when most people quit.
Trust me, you're not the only one
who didn't get in to Juilliard.
Some of those twirling
giants are gonna give up
and go back to whatever
planet they came from.
You got your mom to come to New York
to watch you dance.
That's not a guy who
throws in the towel.
She said I performed well.
Yes, she did. I heard it, too.
I guess what I'm saying is
it'll get better and you'll bounce back.
Don't punch me.
Hey.
You could stay an extra
couple of days if you like.
Why?
I get to spend time with my sister.
And not because somebody has died.
I'm sorry, but some of us
have real jobs to get back to.
We do not get to boogie our nights away.
Hmm. You sound just like Mummy.
Well, maybe you should listen to her.
Ade, you are 40 years old.
No family, and a bed in your kitchen.
Or is it that stove in the bedroom?
Ha, ha!
[CHUCKLING]
When are you going to grow up?
I do what makes me happy.
Same as you did.
What do you mean?
Hey, you didn't listen
to Mummy when she said
to stay married to Tayo
or move back to Nigeria.
Face it,
- you are a rebel.
- [LAUGHS]
I am not.
Oh, really?
So who taught me how to distract Mummy
with a good movie so I could sneak out?
Ah. We could always slow
her down with Spartacus.
Mmm. [CHUCKLES]
So you are saying this
life of yours is my fault?
Sister
watching you has shown me
what is possible.
You do the same for Dele.
Oh, God
I pushed you both to the arts.
- Aren't you glad we stayed another day?
- Mm-hmm.
This was much better than
our church's version of The Lion King.
The lead was great.
You danced just as well as him.
Mom, come on.
I agree. I was kind of hoping
he'd break his ankle,
and they'd ask the audience
for a substitute lion.
He did not even go to Juilliard.
See, you can still be a
successful Broadway performer
- with a degree from
- A place called SUNY Purchase.
What I'm hearing is you got options.
Seems like I do.
It is settled. On Monday morning
we will call this SUNY Purchase.
Honey, I'm just saying there's
lots of ways to be successful.
We do not need a lot.
We have found a new way.
Look through the program.
This guy didn't even go to school.
Just leave it, she's happy.
[PLAYING "RAISE ME UP" ON KEYBOARD]

You are good.
I know.
You're also full of yourself.
I know.
There's a guitar right there, you know.
Okay. Prepare to be put to shame.

[ABISHOLA PLAYING WELL]
Food's here.
Ah, let's eat.
- Mom?
- Hmm?
Were you just playing the guitar?
Uh-uh, I was cleaning it.
Your uncle's apartment is filthy.
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