Bridge and Tunnel (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

Today Is Your Birthday

I mean, you sure this is a
good idea, this date tonight?
Unlike these two, we are not on a date.
This is just us as friends.
Before we do anything,
I want to talk to you.
- Me?
- Over here, yeah.
Why would Tammy be there?
What? I saw her at the diner,
and I happened to mention it to her,
and she said she might try and make it.
Well, I mean, he's your high
school ex, Stacey, okay?
- He's not really a true ex.
- If it wasn't for Stacey,
I would've asked you
out a long time ago.
How do you think she would react
if she knew what was
what was happening here?
Right now, I'm waitlisted
at Brooklyn Law,
so everything kind of hangs on that,
but I should hear any minute.
You know, Pags, since junior high,
we've been hearing you brag
about this master plan
of becoming a hotshot music attorney,
but have you ever thought
about what you would do
if you didn't get into law school, huh?
Dude, what the fuck?
I'm cool if you want to
you know, if you want to have
your freedom when I leave
if it means I still get to
see you more before I go.
Okay, Pags, I want details, my friend.
How was the big date with
the stone cold fox, huh?
Mikey, you cannot believe
how pretty this girl is.
She's got the most amazing
smile. And her teeth!
- She's got the most amazing teeth.
- Dude, dude,
please don't get him
started on her teeth.
He loves her teeth.
- Yeah.
- She's got legs to here,
and this clown's focused on
her pearly whites all night!
Yeah, 'cause I'm a gentleman.
And when I talk to a lady,
I look at her face.
What, are you gonna take
her out again or what?
Yeah, we're going out tomorrow.
She wants to walk around Central
Park and then get dinner afterwards.
- She's from the city, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah. So you gotta take her
someplace cool then, you know?
Yeah, no Blarney Stone for her, Pags.
Yeah, I was thinking about
going to Beefsteak Charlie's
on 58th. It's perfect.
- It's right by the park
- Dude, dude.
Beefsteak Charlie's?
You can't take her there.
- What the fuck are you thinking?
- Why not? I love that place.
No. 'Cause you can't
take a girl to a place
that has an all-you-can-eat
salad bar and offers what?
Unlimited beer, wine, sangria?
No, you just look like
a cheap bastard, dude.
No. But I only have
27 bucks for the date.
So you take her to the fucking movies.
No, you can't go to the
movies for a second date.
There's no opportunity to talk.
You just sit there awkwardly
for two hours
not really watching the movie.
You just think about what
you're gonna do afterwards.
Plus you're eating popcorn,
so your hands are greasy
and your mouth is dry? No, no, no.
I'm gonna take her to a restaurant
so I can sit across from
her for a few hours
and look at her beautiful,
beautiful face.
Have I mentioned her
smile? It's gorgeous.
Guy, you really are in love, huh?

- It just wasn't working out.
- Why not?
First of all, he's way too old for me,
and he's always working.
He never wanted to get
high or go clubbing
- or do anything fun.
- Right.
And second of all, he broke up with me.
Oh, Stace, I'm sorry.
That fucking sucks.
What happened?
He says I'm too young, too immature.
I never work. All I want to
do is party and have fun.
And to put the final
nail in the coffin
- I told him about Mikey.
- Yeah, that'll do it.
So what are you gonna do?
You're gonna move back home?
Yeah, until I can get my shit together.
That's actually what I wanted
to talk to you about.
You know, you got this
apartment in the city, and
I was hoping I could crash with you
only until I can find my own place.
Yeah. Um
Honestly, you could probably take over
my half of the lease if you wanted.
What? Why?

Don't tell me this has
something to do with Jimmy
and fucking Alaska, Jill.
Will you stop with that? No,
everyone keeps saying that.
It's just don't tell anyone
what I'm gonna tell you
'cause I've not told my mom,
and I didn't tell Jimmy
yet either, okay?
- So just like
- Who the hell am I gonna tell?
My lips are sealed, all right?
So I'm not really in
love with my new job,
and I guess they can tell.
My boss has been giving
me shit since day one.
I just couldn't really
take her shit anymore,
so yesterday I
told her to go fuck herself.
It was my mom's idea too.
She was like, "Jill,
you're gonna get respect.
You're gonna get promoted."
And you know what it got me?
My ass out the door. I got fired.

But that was a dream job.
I mean, what the hell happened
in the last few weeks, huh?
I don't know, just really
wasn't a good fit.
Any kind of fool could see ♪
But apparently telling your boss
to go fuck herself is frowned upon.
[LAUGHS] Yeah, no shit.

I'm sorry, Jill. It sucks.
Yeah, it's okay.
Just bad timing.
You can blame it all on me ♪
Because of Jimmy?

No, 'cause tomorrow's my birthday.
- [WHISPERS] Shit.
- You forgot.
- How could you fucking forget?
- Fuck, I'm sorry, Jill.
- Come on.
You know I love you. I'm sorry.
Let me ask you guys
you got any idea what I could
get Jill for her birthday?
Dude, just get her some perfume.
Girls love perfume.
I want it to be something
more thoughtful than that,
- something special.
- Jewelry.
Even more than perfume,
girls love jewelry.
I can't afford to get
any fricking jewelry.
I gotta get something
that's not too expensive,
- but also says I care.
- Doesn't have to be expensive.
Go to a Salvation Army.
Or you know what?
Go to that old lady thrift
shop on Central Avenue.
It's great. It's got all this
old kind of vintage jewelry.
Everything my sister wears onstage,
it's all from there. It's all cheap.
No, no, no, no, you gotta
go to the flea market
over at Roosevelt Field.
You know they
you can get all sorts
of irregular clothes
with all the same name brands.
Yeah, my mom literally
got a Pierre Cardin dress
for $20 that normally costs 80.
I mean, hey, it comes with
some fucked up stitching,
but it is what it is, you know?
Yeah, I can't get her an irregular dress
or some dead old lady's necklace.
What the fuck is wrong with you two?
I told you it needs to
be something special.
Then I would go with the perfume.
Yeah, Mikey's right.
Perfume's your best bet.
What the fuck did I
think asking you two?
Hey, I need your advice.
- Do you not see I'm working?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were just noodling around.
No, I'm not noodling around.
I'm writing a song,
so show some respect.
What, do I just barge in on you
when you're in your darkroom?
Yeah, actually all the time.
You ruin my pictures
all the fucking time.
Oh, what do you want?
Look, I need to buy
Jill a birthday gift,
and I want to make it special,
but as per usual, I have no money.
Then make her something.
- Make her something?
- Yeah.
Like what? Needlepoint
her a fucking scarf?
Really, are you that thick?
What are you good at?
- I don't know.
- Holy fucking Jesus.
Taking pictures, you fricking moron.
You take a picture, put it in a frame,
- wrap it up, and give it to her.
- Damn, that's a good idea.
That's good.
But what should I take a picture of?
Oh, my God, Jimmy, I can't do
the whole fucking thing for you.
You know what? I was
gonna say thank you.
- Now forget it.
- Get out of here.
Do you need me to make
love to her, too, for you?

Hey, Dad, those pictures
of yours by the staircase,
what camera did you use for those?
I took those at the bay,
so gotta be the Rolleiflex.
Well, do you still have
it by any chance?
If I do, I am sure it
is buried in the trunk
- with the rest of my shit.
- Well, look, if you still have it,
you mind if I borrow it? I'd
I'd like to try something like that.
Little man, have I ever stood in the way
of your artistic endeavors? No.
So if you can find it, it is yours.
For a while, maybe longer if I do ♪
I keep falling in and
out of love with you ♪

Falling in and out of love with you ♪

Don't know what I'm gonna do ♪
I keep falling in and
out of love with you ♪
I don't know what your
ex was thinking, Gina,
but you are one hell of a cook.
These meatballs are phenomenal.
Wouldn't you agree, Stacey?
Don't include me in this, okay?
I don't even know what
the hell I'm doing here.
You're here because I asked
you, and you're my daughter,
and I wanted you to get to
know Gina a little bit better.
What the fuck are you
talking about, Dad?
I've known Mrs. Pagnetti since
the first grade. Remember?
Wait, did Dad not like your
meatballs or something?
I don't think I remember that.
He was always very
critical of my cooking,
especially when it came to my meatballs.
Yeah, it's cause he's in the
restaurant business, Ma.
- He's got a very high standard.
- What are you saying?
You have a problem
with my meatballs too?
- No, that's not what I'm saying.
- No, no, no, he's just defending
his old man, and I get it.
Look, Nicky, Lizzie, I got to apologize.
I should have never said
that about your father.
I was only trying to compliment
your beautiful mother.
Dad, you're skeeving me out here.
- Can you stop?
- Yeah, okay.
Um, Mom, did Nick tell you that
he finally convinced some girl
- to go out with him?
- No shit, Pags.
- You got a girlfriend now?
- What?
Nicky, what? Tell, what?
She's not my girlfriend,
and she didn't take any convincing.
- Thank you very much.
She actually wanted to go out with me,
and we did, and we had a great time,
so we're going out again tonight.
Well, good for you.
You sound really excited about this one.
- Yeah, she's pretty great, Ma.
- How about that, Nicky boy?
We both found ourselves
some great ladies.
So how about we raise our glasses
to a couple of great foxes?
Dad, you're fucking creeping me out.
- Can you stop?
- Yeah, I concur.
Don't pay any attention to these two.
Tell me and your mother about
why this girl of yours is so great.
Well, she's got a beautiful smile,
and she's smart.
She's got a great job.
She's a rock critic for
"Billboard" magazine.
Wait, she writes for "Billboard?"
- Bullshit.
- Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
She worked CBGB's last night.
- She saw Bad Brains.
- What? Get the fuck out of here.
Why did you not tell
me about this earlier?
- Lizzie, language.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Wait, do you think she would
come to one of our shows?
She's a real rock critic, okay?
She sees real bands.
She wouldn't schlep all
the way out to Long Island
to see you play in our garage.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I'm not a real band?
I rock fucking harder than anybody.
You know that. What is
more real than that?
Jesus Christ, Nicky,
that was so fucking not
cool for you to say that.
I apologize for the language.
But, Nicky, she's right.
That was terrible.
Now apologize to your sister right now.
Okay, I'm sorry, Lizzie, okay?
I didn't mean it like that.
Look, if the date goes well
and the relationship progresses,
I will ask her to come
see one of your shows.
But don't come crying to me
when you get a bad review.
There will be no tears.
If you bring that girl
to one of my shows,
I can guarantee you I'm gonna blow
her fucking doors off, all right?
And you are gonna be the one crying.
Okay, I have to interrupt.
This was truly so lovely.
Ms. Pagnetti, the meatballs
were out of this world.
I'll see you guys around.
I got a fucking life,
so I gotta get the fuck out of here.
See you around, Dad.
She gets her manners from her mother.
You're still sulking.
I have every reason to be.
Big deal. You lost your job.
At least you stood up for yourself.
What worries me is what
you're gonna do now.
Yeah, me too.
Guess I'll look for a new job.
Yeah, you sure?
'Cause I don't want you
doing something stupid
like joining Jimmy in Alaska.
I'm not going to. And even if I did,
why would that be such a bad thing?
Because it's Alaska, for Christ's sake.
And secondly, we talked about this
when you broke up with him in December.
He's on one path.
You're on another path.
You're on two different paths,
and those paths don't cross,
and I don't want to see
you undoing all that
just because you are sitting here
feeling sorry for yourself.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
I'm pissed off.
I got fired right before
my birthday 'cause of you
- and your lousy fucking advice!
- Listen, sweets,
you're gonna have to get thicker skin
if you're gonna make
it in that business.
Where's he taking you for your birthday?
I'm not telling you.
The Ships Inn. [CHUCKLES]
The Ships Inn?
He's not gonna take you into the city?
Someplace, you know, fancy?
Someplace where he might
have to put on a suit,
and you can get dolled up for a change?
We can't all get wined and dined
at the Rainbow Room, Mom, I'm sorry.
Well, look, maybe he'll
get you some jewelry
or some perfume.
- Well, well, well.
- Hey, sexy.
What are you doing here?
Just in the neighborhood.
Thought I'd stop by. What about you?
Well, you know, same old.
Just finishing up a run, yeah.
What are you gonna do now?
I don't know. Probably take a shower,
- watch the Met game.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- I'll take half that action.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, look,
Stace, I don't think I can.
My folks are home anyways, so
Okay, so hop in. We'll go to mine.
You know, what about trying to
be loyal to your boyfriend, huh?
I told him about you, Mikey.
- Yeah?
- And we broke up.
- Ah, shit.
- So here I am.
- Really?
- Yeah, fucking really.
You know, I really
I really don't think I can.
Why not?
Because I don't know.
I'm just well, I'm kind of in
I don't know, you know, I really
I really don't think it's a good idea.
Why not, Mikey?
Don't tell me this has something
to do with fucking Tammy.
You have got to be fucking
kidding me, man.
You know what? Go fuck yourself.

You're a backstabbing bitch.
- You know that, Tammy?
- Stacey, look, listen,
I know I know I should have
called first, and I meant to.
- No, I told you he was off-limits.
- Well, no
And you went ahead and went out with him
- behind my fucking back?
- No, no, just as friends.
As friends, that's it,
and then we both decided
that we shouldn't do anything
until we discussed it with you first.
Oh, and when the hell
were you gonna do that?
Um, we can we can
talk now if you want to.
Oh, you wanna talk right now?
Sure we can talk about it now.
- Yeah.
- Answer me this, huh?
Out of all the guys you
could have gone out with,
why did you insist on chasing him, huh?
Stacey, I wasn't chasing him.
Answer the question, Tammy.
'Cause I'm in love with him, Stace.
You what?
I'm in love with him, okay?
I'm in love with Mikey,
and I'm sorry that you're hurt,
- and I
- Shut your fucking mouth, Tammy.
I don't want to fucking hear it.
You know what? I don't give a shit.
Do whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, what the fuck's going on over here?
And you, fuck you too.
Fuck this piece-of-shit diner.
Okay, it's just I don't get this.
Now that she knows, why can't we go out?
I mean, she literally told
me to go fuck myself
and she told you to go do
whatever the fuck you want,
so, I mean, that gives us
the green light, doesn't it?
No, it doesn't give us the
green light, Mikey, okay?
Because she's hurt, and she's pissed,
and and she's one of my best friends.
Is she really? I mean, I know
she's one of your oldest friends,
but is she really your best friend
to the point that you can't
give this, us, a chance?
Hey, look, maybe for once
you don't need to be this good girl,
this thoughtful one,
the considerate friend.
Why don't you just do
something selfish for once?
Do something for you!
Okay, don't put this
all on me, all right?
Gosh, don't you feel badly for her too?
Mikey, it's Stacey.
You were just sleeping with her
- a week ago, shit.
- We had an understanding,
an arrangement.
And and of course
I'll feel bad for her
if I hurt her, but it's
like, I don't love her.
I'm I'm sorry.
I just I just can't.
You know what? Fine. Whatever.
Honey, you almost done in there?
No, Ma, I got this date tonight.
I gotta shower, take a shit.
I got a bunch of stuff to do.
Well, Louie and I are about to leave,
and he wanted to talk
to you before he left.
- It can't wait?
- No, it's about your date.
What? What does he want to
talk to me about that for?
He just wants to talk to you, kid,
so how about you show an
old man a little respect
and get your ass out here.
Unless, of course,
you want me to come in there
- and wipe your ass for you.
- No, no!
Jesus, I'm coming.
Ah, there he is.
How about you step this way
so we can talk in private?
Should I put on some
clothes in that case?
Ah, there's no need.
This won't take long.
I'm not gonna hurt you yet.
Come on.
All right, so first of all,
I want to thank you
for taking the time. I appreciate it.
I got you.
So as you can probably tell,
I've been spending a lot
of time with your mother,
and I realized I hadn't
checked in with you,
the man of the house,
to see if you're okay with
me and her being together.
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
She's an incredible woman, your mother,
makes me very happy,
and I'm not just talking
about her meatballs.
- Good, I'm glad.
- Okay.
So you're okay with this?
Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
Good, now, I haven't discussed
this with your mother yet,
and I would hope you wouldn't
say anything before I do.
But if this continues to go well,
I'm gonna ask her to move in with me.
Move in with you?
You've only been together a few weeks.
At our age, you know when
you know, you know?
Now, one more thing.
Your mother tells me
you're thinking of taking
this big date of yours
to Beefsteak Charlie's.
- Uh-huh.
No dice.
If we're gonna be family,
I can't let that happen.
- Family.
- You see this?
Here's a little something extra.
You take this girl of yours
to someplace classy.
- Capisce.
- On me.

A Gypsy wind is blowin' warm tonight ♪
The sky is starlit
and the time is right ♪
And still you're tellin'
me you have to go ♪
Before you leave there's
something you should know ♪

Yeah ♪
Something you should know, babe ♪

I've seen you smilin'
in the summer sun ♪
I've seen your long hair
flying when you run ♪
I've made my mind up
that it's meant to be ♪

Someday, lady, you'll accompany me ♪
I was gonna get you something,
but I thought it was better
if I make you something,
so here you go.
- Hm, let's see what we got here.
- Take a look.
What we got? What we got?
Oh, we got a it's nice.
It's pretty great, right?
Yes, uh
You don't recognize it?
It's where we had our
first kiss, all right?
In the sixth grade at the promised land
- on that bench.
- Oh, well, that's very sweet.
- You don't like it.
- No, I do.
- It's very thoughtful.
- Are you sure? Are you sure?
Because, I mean, it took
me all day to work on this,
and I wasn't so sure about the frame,
so I figured you could
always switch that out,
which is why I didn't splurge on that.
You know, I got you flowers,
too, of course, so
- Thank you.
- Happy birthday.
You don't like it, do you?
- I do.
- Are you sure?
Because the guys told me
I should get you perfume
or jewelry, but I think this
is so much more meaningful.
You know, it's like a landmark for us.
I know, and that's what makes it sweet,
and every time I look at it,
I will appreciate how
much time and thought
you put into this gift for me, okay?
Okay. So what is it?
'Cause you got something
going on tonight.
- I got fired.
- Ah, shit.
All right, well, what happened?
It was that woman I told you about.
That bitch who's always
making fun of you?
But it was more than
that. It was like
you know, I got the job
that I thought I wanted,
and then it wasn't what I thought,
and now I don't know what I want.
Whoa, what are you talking about?
You don't want to be a
fashion designer anymore?
That's that's what
you've always wanted.
Yeah, and I still do,
but, like, now that I'm in
the, like, "business" of it,
it's, like, fucking hard,
and it just feels like
a stupid pipe dream.
Hey, look at me.
That's bullshit.
Who made the dress you're wearing?
- I did.
- That's right.
It's not a pipe dream. It's a reality.
There she is.
Hey, Nick, can you come here a minute?
- Is that?
- Yeah.
It's from Brooklyn Law.
It's, like, really thin.
Is that good or bad?
What does it say?
Did you get in?
Oh, hi.
yeah, can you hold on for just a minute?
All right, thanks.
Nick, it's the girl from the city.
Do you want me to tell her
that you'll call her back?
Uh no.
No, it's it's okay. I'll take it.
I'm really sorry.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Hey, Juliana.
I don't think I can make it tonight.
Yeah, I'm just I'm
not feeling too good.
I must've ate something.
Yeah, sorry, I just
Okay, yeah, I'll call you.
All right, yeah, have a good night.
- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah.
Whose fucking idea was this?
- This?
- Yeah.
It was my sister's idea,
but not the photo itself.
- That was this guy.
- That was all you.
Yeah, but, yeah, the idea
to give you a picture,
- that was that was Genie's.
- Okay.
Well, in the future,
maybe don't listen to her
when she tries to give
you birthday gift advice.
Oh, really?
I knew you fucking
didn't like it, anyway.
- You lied to me straight to my face.
- I didn't say I didn't like it.
I just don't think it's,
like, a main event
- kind of gift, you know?
- Oh, no.
- It's more like a stocking stuffer.
- Yeah.
- Not an under-the-Christmas-tree gift.
- Oh, sure, sure.
- You know what I mean?
- Sure. Yeah.
- You catch my drift?
- I catch your drift.
You know, speaking of stocking stuffers,
I'll tell you something I really want.
- If maybe you could unwrap this.
- You sure you want that?
You don't want this? Take a last look.
- One last look.
- It's your last chance, just this or that.
- Oh, yeah, no, it is nice.
It's real nice, but I think
I think I prefer this kind.

Ooh, Jackie Blue ♪
What's a game, girl,
if you never lose? ♪
Ask a winner, and
you'll probably find ♪
Ooh, Jackie ♪
I mean, I had to cancel.
How am I supposed to face her?
How am I supposed to tell
her that I didn't get in?
She's gonna think I'm
a total fricking loser.
Tell me about it.
I finally fall in love me
out of all fucking people
and what do I do? I don't even
have the balls to tell her.
Wait, what? Fall in love?
Who the hell did you fall in love with?
Yeah. Fuck, I probably
didn't even tell you.
I've been hanging out with
Tammy for a little bit.
- Tammy?
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait, Tammy Tammy?
- Tammy Tammy.
Wait, hanging out and falling in love
are two very different things.
Which one is it, my man?
It doesn't even matter.
She already broke it off.
So no law school for
me, no love for you.
Hey, at least we got each other, right?
- You're looking for a smack?
- No.
No, I'm just I'm
toasting to friendship.
That's all.
- What's the score?
- Don't ask.
- Thank you.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, jeez.
how did she like her birthday present?
She liked it.
Good, she better. That was a nice shot.
By the way, I hope you don't mind,
but I went down into
your darkroom tonight,
snooped around a little bit,
take a look at what you're working on,
and I gotta tell you
I love those pictures
you've been taking of your friends.
Telling you, James, you're onto
something with those shots.
Those are special.
Yeah, yeah, that was my
attempt at Bruce Davidson.
No, that was more than an attempt.
I would say you succeeded.
Those are the best shots
you've ever taken,
even better than your
"Sunrise at Yosemite."
It's apples and oranges, Dad.
Besides, my Yosemite
shots got me the job
- with the "National Geographic."
- Yeah, don't remind me.
What is it, eight days until
my little man leaves me?
Breaking my fucking heart.
I hope you know that.
[CHUCKLES] All right, relax.
- You'll survive.
- [CHUCKLES] Says you.
So, look, I got an idea
I want to throw at you.
What what are you planning on
doing with those pictures anyhow?
Those pictures? Nothing, I don't know.
How would you feel if I
showed them to that guy
whose house we painted the other day?
He really knows his stuff,
and I don't know.
I want to get his thoughts.
Thoughts on what?
Just thinking maybe you should
do more work like that.
Not that I don't love
the nature stuff, but
But what? Huh, you don't
think I'm good enough?
No, that's not it at all.
I just think you discovered a talent
that you didn't know you had,
and, well, maybe that
is your true calling.
Something to think about.
And the Mets pull it out.
They have come from behind once again.

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