Bump (2021) s03e10 Episode Script

No Fairytales

(OLY WHISPERS) Quick, down here. Santi!
(LAUGHS) I don't think they saw us.
Hide before Arlo's parents find you.
If that is what growing up
is, I don't want to do it.
Promise me we will never
become those parents.
I solemnly swear.
Don't look at me like that.
Like what?
Like that.
I've missed you so much.
What's wrong?
You broke up with me.
We were supposed to be together forever
and you broke up with me, Oly.
I just needed some time.
All I heard was that the person I loved
didn't want to be with me anymore.
Well, we weren't happy.
I guess
I guess maybe I blamed
you and that wasn't fair.
But, Santi, I love you. I
don't want to be with Michael.
I'm moving in with Keeks, Oly.
I'm moving in with Keeks.
I've got to go.
Hey, man ♪
I really need you back again ♪
The years are plenty ♪
Somewhere I have a
watercolour you did ♪
As a mother,
I have to say that nothing
in my life before this moment
has been as spiritually
significant as this.
When you actually are
a mother, let me know.
Oh, London town.
Best city in the world.
If you say so, Reema.
Yeah, I'm thinking of moving back.
- No, you can't do that.
- Why not?
Because if you do,
you will break a beautiful
Samoan boy's heart.
That's ridiculous.
- Why, what did he say?
- (GASPS) Ooh-hoo-hoo!
- What?
Um, I think my waters just broke.
Oh. OK. Are you sure?
Uh, I mean, there's not a
lot of it, but I think so.
I'm gonna wake up Vince right now.
- No. No way.
- Why not?
Because I'm not even
having contractions yet.
Just let him rest.
He is an actual professional
midwife asleep upstairs.
I am having a natural birth,
so we could have two days
of this before it starts.
So, just let him rest.
I'm gonna do my breathing.
I'm getting Vince.
You promised me that I
could have a natural birth.
I did not promise that.
- Ugg boots?
- Yeah. On the side of the bed.
I'm pretty sure you did.
I don't want to be induced.
Yes, Ariel, my friend, but sometimes
No. It says right here on my birth plan,
we go when the contractions
are five minutes apart.
VINCE: If your waters haven't broken.
Well, I'm not letting you check.
Trust me, I'm more than
happy with that call,
but if they have, you need to be induced
if your contractions don't
start within 24 hours.
- REEMA: Lavender oil?
- Bookshelf.
Fine, then we wait 24 hours.
Salt lamp?
Don't know how I missed it.
- Krabi?
- ARIEL: Here. It's here.
Visualising your happy place
is an incredibly effective
pain relief technique.
Yeah, that should do it.
I don't want medical interventions.
You know women in Sub-Saharan
Africa are literally dying
because of a lack of
medical interventions, right?
Now you're just being mean.
We will take you first
thing in the morning.
Yes. And if anything
changes, we go immediately.
- VINCE: Good.
- OK.
- Falcons fly at dawn.
OLY: Jacinda?
- Bowie!
- Mm, what? What's wrong?
- Where's J?
- I checked on them.
- OK. She's not there.
- What?
Jacinda! Gracie!
Bowie? Call Santi!
BOWIE: Their backpacks have gone.
- What?
- Their backpacks have gone.
Jacinda! Gracie!
She resting?
Yeah. Can't sleep?
Just thinking.
You know, a year ago,
I was married, at uni,
living in a fabulous apartment
above a vegan supermarket in Shoreditch.
And now, I'm a dropout,
living with my mum
and I'm your donee's
birth support partner.
Yeah, life's strange, huh?
- It's one word for it.
- Mm.
Reems, there's no-one else on this earth
I'd rather as my donee's
birth support partner.
And I mean that.
It just feels like
everything's about to change.
I'm just gonna
Do you know the way home?
It's dark here. This isn't
fun anymore. I'm going home.
- Wait for me!
Oh, my goodness! Oh!
- What was that?
- I'm scared.
Who's over there?
- Where are your parents?
- Stop.
Alright, then. Where's your house?
We're not supposed to talk to strangers.
That is very wise, but I
think in this situation,
it might be necessary, don't you think?
(SCREAMS) Jacinda! Gracie!
Do you think that might be your mum?
That's definitely not our names.
(SHOUTS) They're over here!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, are you OK?
- We set Migaloo free, Mummy.
- Thank God.
Pretty high-level parenting fail there.
Just saying.
- OLY: Bowie.
- Hey. Hey, JJ.
I was worried sick, alright?
Sorry, Uncle Bowie.
- Come here. Are you OK?
- You're OK.
- Yeah.
SANTI: Puchita? Puchita.
BOWIE: Hey, Keeks.
- SANTI: You're OK.
- OLY: She's OK.
She's OK, Santi. She's OK.
You're OK.
You promise me
you'll never ever go out
without your grown-ups again, OK?
OK, I promise.
OK, you're safe. It's alright.
Please just never do that
again, OK, because we love you.
- I promise.
- Keeks
Thank you so much for coming to help.
- Hey, Debbie.
- OLY: Alright, you two. Bed.
BOWIE: Upstairs. Up you go.
MADISON: Come on, you two.
Up you go before you get cold.
- Ol, Ol. I'm so sorry.
- They're OK.
(SIGHS) Oh, my God, I'm so
relieved they're alright.
I can't even imagine
how you must have felt.
That was just the absolute worst.
(SIGHS) I can't believe it.
They're so naughty!
Has she done this kind of thing before?
- Ah!
- Hey, guys. Coffee?
Tinto is the one for you, music man.
Gracias, Gabe.
- And café for Mama.
- Mm.
No sugar.
Let me take out the laundry.
I told you he was gonna come around.
- Wow.
(WHISPERS) Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry.
I was at Edie's. I
had my phone on silent.
Oh, my gosh, are you OK?
Bowie told me all about it.
He might never have sex again.
(WHISPERS) You know they
planned the whole thing?
They took snacks.
What am I gonna tell Gracie's dads?
Oh! She is gonna be a
handful when she's a teenager.
Hopefully she doesn't top having a baby.
(SOFTLY) You were right.
No fairytale endings.
Well, I mean, sometimes the
princess jumps out of the tower
and falls in love with
the prince's sister, so
Thank you. That is completely
relatable in this scenario.
- I got the scholarship.
(WHISPERS) Wow! That is amazing!
Thank you.
I really wanted it.
I mean, I can't go,
but it was good to know that
I was good enough to get it.
Why not?
What do you mean, why not?
Why can't you go?
Because I am the mother
of a five-year-old girl.
I can't do anything.
I would miss her. She would miss me.
Yeah, that's true,
but Santi's here and I'm here
and Dom and Rosa and Bernardita.
Her whole family's here for her.
It's just one semester,
isn't it? Three months?
Four. Nearly four.
Yeah, it won't be easy,
but she'll be fine.
Oh, here they are, the
nocturnal adventurers.
Can we have pancakes, Grangie?
With syrup?
I think little girls
who sneak out at night
and almost give their
poor mother a heart attack
do not deserve pancakes.
What's going on?
It's time to go.
I've packed your, um, sneakers,
your Eminem shirt, your charger.
It's not the way I wanted
things to go, but, um
The thing is, Santi,
you're not ready for this
and maybe you never will be.
I'm not gonna be anyone's backup plan.
- That's not what you are.
- Isn't it?
I'm really sorry, Keeks.
- Thought you left.
- Bakery. I am starving.
Hell, yeah. Me too. I dibs this one.
That's mine.
Not on my bed.
ARIEL: Ohh! This sucks! Ohh!
- Is that
- It's go time.
- ARIEL: Vince!
- I'm coming, Ariel, I'm coming.
- Far out!
- Can you turn around, please?
- What?
- Please. Come on!
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
(ARIEL WAILS) What is going on?
I'm coming.
- Are you done yet?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Please don't turn around.
- Ready, watch this, watch this.
- Did you do that?
- Did you put in the chilli?
- Habaneros. Look.
- What? Whose piss?
- Mine, obviously.
- Gabe, no!
- It's too good.
Honestly, man, I can't believe
you came up with this idea.
Gabe, look, you can't
make a kid drink piss!
He dakked me in front of
a bunch of chicks in PE.
- I know that's bad, but
- What did you expect?
Hello, hello.
- HECTOR: Hola.
- What's going on?
- HECTOR: Nada.
GABRIEL: Nothing.
Just Gabe needed some
advice with some boy stuff.
Ay, no. Spare me.
I have to go to the big shop because
- Ciao.
- Bye, baby.
Gabe, you need to know when
to stop while you're ahead.
- WOMAN: That's it.
- What's that?
- Salt lamp.
- So, you're the partner?
- Oh, no. He's the donor.
- Oh, you're the partner?
- No, I'm the donor's friend.
Then, I'm sorry, but I'll
need you to wait outside.
- Oh, no.
- No.
Reema's practically my doula, so
It's OK, Ariel. I'll
be right outside, OK.
You're gonna be amazing.
MIDWIFE: Let's get you onto the bed.
Vince is also a midwife.
That's why he knows how
to operate a salt lamp.
Put your feet together.
- Feet together.
- Yeah, that's it.
And let your knees fall
open. OK, here we go.
How long have you had contractions?
Six hours.
And your membrane ruptured
more than 12 hours ago?
OK, you're still only
at two centimetres.
I'm afraid we might have
to do an augmentation
to get things moving faster.
What's an augmentation?
Because I'm not having an induction.
- It's an induction.
- ARIEL: No.
No, no, no, no!
That's not part of the plan
because I'm having a natural birth.
I don't want interventions.
I have a birth plan.
- Oh, you are amazing!
- What's happening?
Apparently we could be waiting a while.
OK, cool. How's Vince?
He's fine.
OK. I am detecting a sort
of infrared glow to you.
Oh, my God, no way!
- You and
- Hey, shh.
- Can I sit here?
- Yeah.
- Hey, Santi.
- OLY: Hey.
- How you going?
- They're inducing her now.
Uce, you're gonna have a baby, bro.
Yeah, it's crazy, man.
I may have missed J's birth,
but I'm not gonna miss your kid's.
Well, I mean, you kind of were there.
Oh, God, the whole school was there.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ol.
Is this OK for you to, like,
be here? Do you have PTSD?
That day was so scary.
It was like being in
a zombie horror movie
where alien body-snatchers
take my best friend.
- Are you OK?
Wait, I don't get it. What's funny?
OLY: No, you're right.
At the time, I thought
that my life was over,
but I'm gonna be fine.
I'm just remembering
the paramedic's face.
Poor guy was, like
He just didn't know what to say to Mum.
He's, like, "Um, is it
possible that she's pregnant?"
And I was like this kid
in school uniform, like,
"Fuck that, no way am I pregnant,"
as I was literally giving birth.
He was like, "Um, I don't
know how to tell you this "
I wish I could have
been there for you, Ol.
Yeah, well, you didn't know.
I just realised I never got to hold her.
ZAC: Alright. She's here.
ARIEL: I am strong and I am amazing.
I am amazing.
Strong and I am amazing.
VINCE: Ariel, let's get you
Let's get you sitting, hey? Hey, look.
It's alright. Sit
down. Do you need help?
- TALIA: Hey.
- Hey.
Baby, I'm so sorry. So sorry.
Talia, we have quite
a lot to talk about,
but maybe now is not the right
Wait, wait, Vince, what's going on?
VINCE: Here, take this.
The labour's being induced.
It makes the contractions very intense.
Baby's heart rate's a bit low.
- TALIA: You're OK.
You're OK. You're OK.
Hey, Ariel, Ariel. Ariel,
I'm a bit worried about
the baby's heart rate.
We need to slow this down
to give your body the
chance to catch up.
We need to give you an epidural.
- VINCE: Hey.
- No.
Ariel, I know this is not
part of your birth plan
but I can assure you
this is the safest thing
for you and your baby.
You've got this, OK?
You're alright. You can do this.
I got snacks.
- Oh, my God.
- Whoo!
This is for you.
No, that one was for me, I think.
- What did we land?
- I got you some pink licorice.
Thank you.
But, no, he's a disaster.
He's like gay kryptonite.
How is it possible for a 27-year-old
man to be this bad at sex?
Like, I don't understand.
It's not complex machinery, you know.
Get a licence. Learn how to drive it.
OK, so, you broke up with him?
No, not yet.
He's got this converted
warehouse in Marrickville
and I've always had a thing
for the industrial baroque,
so it's, like, you know
Ol, um, are you OK with the Bowie thing?
Oh, yeah, that's none of my
You guys are both consenting adults.
Oh, my God, that's great.
I was really hoping
you would be 'cause
ZAC: Hey, what about you and
that hard hat, hi-vis girl?
Yeah, uh, we broke up.
He's like this sexual
multiverse of possibility.
I came, like, four times.
Once he was hardly even touching me
Oh, wow, OK. No, that's enough.
I really don't need any more information
about my family's personal
sexual discoveries.
I think I'm in love with him.
- I'm happy for you.
Come on, come on, baby.
You're OK, come on.
- Well done. We can see the head.
- TALIA: You've got this.
- NURSE: Push.
- Yeah?
- Push now. Push.
Hey, what are you
doing? What is she doing?
It's definitely a situation
where the less you know, the better.
What is it?
It's OK. I'm here, babe.
I haven't actually decided
whether or not I am gonna forgive you.
You're definitely still on probation.
Yeah, fair enough, babe.
MIDWIFE: One big push from you now.
- OK.
- MIDWIFE: Let's go.
- VINCE: Let's go, girl.
- TALIA: Go on.
- VINCE: Big one.
Episiotomy scissors.
TALIA: Jesus, now what?
OK, Ariel, we need one
more push. You can do this.
We need to get this baby out now.
- Push.
- Come on. You got it.
- VINCE: Come on, Ariel.
- TALIA: You're doing great.
- VINCE: You're doing well.
It's a little boy. Clamp.
That's him. That's
him. He's out. He's out.
MIDWIFE: Baby's flat.
Vince, what's going on?
- Is he OK?
- TALIA: Is he OK?
MIDWIFE: He's OK. He's
OK. Congratulations, Mum.
(LAUGHS) That's good.
- You did it. You did it.
- TALIA: Ah!
I'm so glad you're here.
(SOFTLY) He's so beautiful.
You did it. You did it.
- I missed you, I missed you.
- Same.
TALIA: I love you.
OK, Mum, we need you to scoot down
and we're gonna birth the placenta.
- Baby to Dad.
- ARIEL: Yeah, go on, Dad.
Hey, Vince, you've gotta
do skin-to-skin, yeah.
TALIA: You did it. You did it.
Let's go.
- Hi there, little fella.
- TALIA: Hi, cutie.
He's looking at me.
Hey. Hey.
You guys, you guys, it's a boy!
He's OK. Everyone's OK. He's alright.
- Oh, my God!
- You owe me 50 bucks.
No way! He could be
genderfluid or non-binary.
- SANTI: Is Vince OK?
- Yes.
Can we go and see him?
Do you reckon that's them?
- He's smiling at me.
- No!
TALIA: Oh, here he is. Come on.
- ARIEL: He just smiled.
- VINCE: He smiled.
He's just been smiling.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Babies don't smile.
VINCE: Want to meet new people?
- Hello.
- Say hi.
Hola, puchito.
- He's so cosy.
- Hola, puchito.
Hello! He's got your nose, bro.
Cute, isn't he! Isn't he!
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Wow.
Don't be rude. Say hi.
TALIA: He's waving. That was a wave.
- Was it?
- That was a wave.
TALIA: That was definitely a wave.
- Uncle Santi.
- Uncle Santi.
- Tío Santi.
- Aww.
- Oh, hey!
- Aww!
OLY: Congratulations.
ARIEL: His little face!
- SANTI: I just wanna
- VINCE: Yeah.
- MADISON: Eat him.
- SANTI: I want to eat him.
- OLY: Do need me to move?
- ARIEL: Just a tiny bit.
What's on your face?
You keep scratching.
It's OK.
Don't sleep ♪
Just stay awake ♪
- I do!
ROSA: Mi amor, like a queen!
Qué paso?
I-I kind of fucked up.
Right now, right now,
right now, right now ♪
Judgement, the Death
card and the Hanged Man.
Fuck. Sorry, you guys.
- Can you be more specific?
- Um, bad.
It could be quite bad. Yeah.
- I'm sorry. It's
I don't believe in this stuff anyway.
Lucky! We're rational people.
- Yes! Oh!
- Ow! Sorry.
Into the electric night ♪
I traced your outline ♪
In the backlight ♪
In the backlight ♪
I'll go straight back to that night ♪
When we stumbled ♪
We can watch the bats fly ♪
Just wait, just wait,
just wait, just wait ♪
Just wait, just wait, just wait ♪
Just wait ♪
Don't sleep. ♪
(GASPS) Got him! Yes!
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