Carmen Sandiego (2019) s02e04 Episode Script
The Fashionista Caper
1 [theme music playing.]
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Sandiego [vocalizing.]
Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? [crickets chirping.]
[Player.]
How's the big, fat Greek caper going, Red? Wish I were gazing on the Parthenon in Athens instead of some airstrip in the boonies.
But your intel was spot on.
VILE's on the scene intercepting a package, contents unknown.
- Time to intercept their intercept.
- [blade whooshes.]
[Carmen gasps.]
- [metal clanging.]
- [gasps.]
Carmen Sandiego, you should watch your noggin.
Dash Haber.
Neat little hat trick you got there.
I call it the "buzz cut.
" - [grunts.]
- [grunts.]
[exhales.]
[clangs.]
[Dash whistles.]
[Carmen grunts.]
[crashes.]
[crashes.]
- [grunts.]
- [crashes.]
[grunts.]
Huh? Haber, time to fly.
[helicopter blades whirring.]
[Dash grunts.]
Not so fast, Hat Hair, I have a date with that crate.
Catch.
You owe me a chapeau.
[grunts.]
Player, intercept was a bust.
Then again.
Fabric? [camera shutter clicks.]
Why would VILE steal only one crate of fabric? Maybe Coach Brunt just needed enough material to knit Maelstrom a sweater.
I'd like to think it's because Carmen scared 'em off.
She's wicked awesome.
Scare off Dash Haber? Maybe.
But the Cleaners do not know fear.
Look, honey, a samurai.
[growls.]
Perhaps it would be best not to discuss delicate matters in public, especially since my attire seems to be attracting unwanted attention.
We're at the apocalypse, ancient Greeks wore togas here.
- Acropolis.
- That's what I said, apocalypse.
[Shadowsan.]
Clothes do not make the man, but I might still suggest retreating to the privacy of your headquarters.
- [scoffs.]
As in HQ? - Does that stand for something? I admire your discretion.
I am not sure that I would trust me enough to reveal its location just yet either.
We would trust you, Shadowsan, if we actually had one.
Hard to believe but true.
Why would you not possess a home base? I vowed if I ever left VILE Island, I'd see the world.
And here we are.
Welcome to Carmen Sandiego's never ending tour.
And the wicked sweet part, VILE's footing the bill.
[Carmen.]
I guess if I knew more about my past, I might have a better idea where I'd wanna hang my hat.
I mean, home base should feel like home, shouldn't it? [phone ringing.]
Heads up, gang, those samples VILE stole, turns out it's smart fabric.
Used for totally cutting-edge wearable technology, designed to make the clothes on your back as smart as the phone in your pocket.
Imagine, pants that alert you when you're packing on the pounds, golf shirts that track your swings, underwear that can monitor your - [Zack cackling.]
- [Ivy.]
Ew! heart rate.
- Oh, that's not so gross.
- [scoffs.]
Or hilarious.
[Player.]
I scoured the data on VILE's hard drive for a potential connection to anything involving fabric.
The only thread I could pull was a passing mention of something happening in Milan, Italy, this week.
Fashion Fest.
Where clothing designers display their latest styles.
Countess Cleo always took an interest.
We know she was a failed runway model before turning to a career of crime.
Though wearable tech does scream more of Dr.
Bellum, am I right? It could be a team effort or the brainchild of someone new entirely.
It is inevitable that VILE will begin the process of seeking my replacement, if they have not done so already.
The financial health of VILE is not looking pretty.
Our profits are down and we continue to suffer losses, Rio being quite the fiasco.
Carmen Sandiego's been putting way too big a dent in our resources, which is why it would behoove you to fill the vacancy left by Shadowsan with someone who knows how to get VILE out of the red.
Not only is Cookie stylish, she's smart with money.
[in Italian.]
Grazie, mi Contessa.
And a team player, our very own bookkeeper, a numbers girl, hatched a plan melding my technology with Cleo's fashion connections.
I, for one, champion comfort over frilly frills.
[Maelstrom.]
You will need to pull out all the stops, Miss Booker, after all, Black Sheep's escape from this island, her very look, can be traced back to your failings on that fateful night.
Let me assure you, Gunnar, no one steals from me, locks me in a closet and impersonates me without paying the price.
And I didn't even mention the water balloon attacks.
If Carmen Sandiego shows her face in Milan, she will become my first fashion victim.
[Julia.]
There has to be some explanation for why there were seen together in Rio.
Carmen Sandiego may have been information gathering or or trying to keep an enemy close.
Possible but unlikely.
I'm afraid our girl was recently seen in Japan and in Greece.
Care to guess who her traveling companion was? They do seem like more than casual acquaintances.
One agent's opinion.
Our mystery man is one of two suspects your ex-partner ID'd as his abductors that night in Poitiers, yet, ACME still can't put a name to the face.
He's a ghost, a shadow.
In short, he fits VILE's profile perfectly.
Our CrimeNet analysts indicate our super thief maybe bound for Milan.
It's Fashion Fest there, Agent Argent, so you had better look sharp as well as sharpen your resolve to catch Carmen Sandiego.
Anything more on potential VILE targets in Milan? Working on it, Red.
But I did learn a thing or two about Fashion Fest.
All the top designers show off their seasonal collections at certain times of the year in different cities of the world, Milan's a big one.
Every year, the shows get more elaborate and more competitive.
- [camera shutters clicking.]
- Big buzz translates to big profits.
[Carmen.]
What really fascinates me is Italy has a long history with fashion, dating back to the Renaissance, a period of great artistic and cultural achievement that began in the 14th century.
Wealthy families, like the Medicis, didn't just sponsor artists like Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci, they cultivated their own sense of high style.
[Player.]
No kidding, check out their threads.
Guess the Medicis did good while looking good, just like you, Red.
At least Shadowsan's getup doesn't look so out of place here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pizza and ice cream.
My four basic food groups right there.
Dairy, toppings, crust and cone.
It's gelato, Zack, Italian ice cream, and you can feed your face after we stop VILE.
Aw! Shadowsan will let me, right? [Shadowsan growls.]
That's not a no.
Fashion events are taking place in every major venue.
We should separate to cover more ground.
I'll need to blend in.
Shouldn't be too hard to find something chic to wear in my color around here.
Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest.
[sighs.]
Sandiego, you just got beached.
ETA to Milan, 36 minutes, 22 seconds.
Are you ready to bag a super thief? Yes, Agent Zari.
In fact, I am.
[music playing over stereo.]
[man.]
Ladies, you are representing La Dolcé Rita, so please class it up.
Number two, more mascara, I want to see your lashes from space.
And where are your fascinators? The hats, the hats.
- The lining's being re-stitched.
- On all of them? A haberdasher showed up, said Rita herself sent him.
Some hottie with a hat.
Someone, please make sure they're ready by showtime.
We're modeling with authentic Medici gowns tonight.
Not one seam in our presentation can be out of place.
Hottie with a hat, sounds like someone we know.
- You catch the part about the Medicis? - [Player.]
Yep.
It wasn't publicized, but it looks like the costume gallery of Pitti Palace in Florence recently loaned their 16th century finds.
Four vintage Medici gowns.
They're gonna be displayed during designer label La Dolcé Rita's presentation.
[Carmen.]
Not exactly what I'd call off the rack.
More like dressed to the nines, as in nine million euros because that's about their combined worth.
Stage crew, be on alert.
We may have just learned VILE's this season's must-haves.
You gotta it, Carm.
Guess that would make us the fashion police.
The Medici gowns are almost certain to be Carmen Sandiego's target, though they'll likely be under lock and key until showtime.
Search the hall, I'll have a look backstage.
[Player.]
So you think VILE's hats are lined with smart tech? I'd bet my hat on it.
We know Bellum loves her mind control experiments.
Instant remote controlled thieves.
Okay, but why the models? The Medici gowns will be vulnerable for a brief window of time while the models are on stage.
They'll be the only ones with clearance to be within reach of them.
All part of the show.
In plain view.
Totally VILE's M.
O.
[Cleo.]
My hench model, Dash Haber, is on site transposing La Dolcé Rita's headgear with our own.
Bellissimo, Countess.
Those mindless waifs will be dressed to steal.
And now, some headgear of my own.
Showtime, ladies.
[Zari.]
Hold it right there.
Funny, you actually have something right there.
- Hi-yah! - [gas hissing.]
Take five.
[groans, thuds.]
[music playing over stereo.]
[lights clicking.]
[man.]
In the beginning were the Medicis.
They're stunning.
Today, La Dolcé Rita brings a new fashion renaissance to Milan.
It's showtime.
[Bellum.]
Walk the walk, then secure the gowns.
- Showtime.
- Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest.
Jules, right? Hands in the air.
Now.
[gasps.]
You're not really dressed for the occasion, but we'll make it work.
What? Come on, I need your help.
To do what? The reason you're here, save those Medicis.
Keep it natural.
Just imagine an invisible string pulling your head straight up from your spine.
Walk with long strides and smile.
[Julia whimpers.]
Ready and turn.
Follow my lead and be ready to grab a gown.
You want me to steal? If we don't, the models will.
But there are four gowns.
Got it covered.
- Work it, work it.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
[Cookie.]
Who are they? One of them may or may not be a duke.
Mr.
Haber, report.
Uh, the gowns are ready for carry out, Countess.
[Cleo.]
Do not be so certain.
They like us.
Nouveau Zack and Ivy is gonna be all the rage, bro.
[indistinct chatter.]
[woman.]
Amazing.
[Zack.]
Mind if we cut in? Bye-bye.
[Cookie gasps.]
It's her.
- Carmen Sandiego.
- Saira, we need a redirect.
Ladies, I'm trying to focus here.
Supermodels, stop that super thief.
Retrieve those gowns.
[models grunting.]
[Zack.]
What's the plan, Carm? Get the gowns to safety.
Oh, and Jules is in charge.
- What about you? - [banging.]
Busy.
Get the gowns to safety.
[banging continues.]
That is far enough.
Sorry, teach, no dealio.
[models yelling.]
Not too ladylike, but I'm game.
[grunting.]
Clothes line.
I don't want to hurt you, ladies, but you're gonna need to lose those hats.
[grunts.]
[grunts.]
[groans, thuds.]
[grunting.]
[grunts.]
[Carmen.]
Thanks for the tip.
[groans.]
[grunting.]
Whew! [both groaning.]
Thanks.
My hats off to you.
[in Italian.]
Oh, scusi, scusi.
[in English.]
You were magnifico.
Which modeling agency are you with? I have quite a headache.
Goodnight.
[chuckles nervously.]
That's the way the cookie crumbles? [Carmen in Italian.]
Molto bello.
[in English.]
And the best part, VILE's footing the bill.
Good, because the price is steep.
You won't invite stares on the street dressed this way.
I still wish to revisit the idea of a proper headquarters.
[Player.]
Funny Shadowsan should mention it, Red.
When I was trawling around for fabric and fashion info, you wouldn't believe what I stumbled on.
Hackers really can wear white hats after Labor Day? Noted, but no.
Remember Carmen Brand Outerware? - Like I could forget.
- Well, guess what.
After proudly serving San Diego county for 80 years, they've gone out of business.
So you interrupted shopping day to tell me VILE's bookkeeper needs somewhere new to buy her rain gear? No.
The warehouse is up for sale.
The original location.
- In San Diego.
- And? Well, wouldn't it be freaky if the building made for a cool HQ? Can I get these? Zack got to have gelato and pizza.
I can't argue with the results, Agent Argent, though, your choice of partner was a bit outside the box.
It has been a challenge to reconcile all of Carmen Sandiego's contradictions.
Perhaps, but I feel I now know enough to propose that we stop trying to capture Carmen Sandiego.
What if we tried to recruit her? - [Brunt.]
Next.
- [monitor beeps.]
Pity shame the number cruncher didn't make the cut.
A shame indeed, Coach Brunt.
After the failure of Shadowsan, we cannot accept anyone less than completely loyal to VILE or thoroughly evil to the bone.
We must find Shadowsan's ideal replacement.
[pop music playing.]
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Sandiego [vocalizing.]
Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? [crickets chirping.]
[Player.]
How's the big, fat Greek caper going, Red? Wish I were gazing on the Parthenon in Athens instead of some airstrip in the boonies.
But your intel was spot on.
VILE's on the scene intercepting a package, contents unknown.
- Time to intercept their intercept.
- [blade whooshes.]
[Carmen gasps.]
- [metal clanging.]
- [gasps.]
Carmen Sandiego, you should watch your noggin.
Dash Haber.
Neat little hat trick you got there.
I call it the "buzz cut.
" - [grunts.]
- [grunts.]
[exhales.]
[clangs.]
[Dash whistles.]
[Carmen grunts.]
[crashes.]
[crashes.]
- [grunts.]
- [crashes.]
[grunts.]
Huh? Haber, time to fly.
[helicopter blades whirring.]
[Dash grunts.]
Not so fast, Hat Hair, I have a date with that crate.
Catch.
You owe me a chapeau.
[grunts.]
Player, intercept was a bust.
Then again.
Fabric? [camera shutter clicks.]
Why would VILE steal only one crate of fabric? Maybe Coach Brunt just needed enough material to knit Maelstrom a sweater.
I'd like to think it's because Carmen scared 'em off.
She's wicked awesome.
Scare off Dash Haber? Maybe.
But the Cleaners do not know fear.
Look, honey, a samurai.
[growls.]
Perhaps it would be best not to discuss delicate matters in public, especially since my attire seems to be attracting unwanted attention.
We're at the apocalypse, ancient Greeks wore togas here.
- Acropolis.
- That's what I said, apocalypse.
[Shadowsan.]
Clothes do not make the man, but I might still suggest retreating to the privacy of your headquarters.
- [scoffs.]
As in HQ? - Does that stand for something? I admire your discretion.
I am not sure that I would trust me enough to reveal its location just yet either.
We would trust you, Shadowsan, if we actually had one.
Hard to believe but true.
Why would you not possess a home base? I vowed if I ever left VILE Island, I'd see the world.
And here we are.
Welcome to Carmen Sandiego's never ending tour.
And the wicked sweet part, VILE's footing the bill.
[Carmen.]
I guess if I knew more about my past, I might have a better idea where I'd wanna hang my hat.
I mean, home base should feel like home, shouldn't it? [phone ringing.]
Heads up, gang, those samples VILE stole, turns out it's smart fabric.
Used for totally cutting-edge wearable technology, designed to make the clothes on your back as smart as the phone in your pocket.
Imagine, pants that alert you when you're packing on the pounds, golf shirts that track your swings, underwear that can monitor your - [Zack cackling.]
- [Ivy.]
Ew! heart rate.
- Oh, that's not so gross.
- [scoffs.]
Or hilarious.
[Player.]
I scoured the data on VILE's hard drive for a potential connection to anything involving fabric.
The only thread I could pull was a passing mention of something happening in Milan, Italy, this week.
Fashion Fest.
Where clothing designers display their latest styles.
Countess Cleo always took an interest.
We know she was a failed runway model before turning to a career of crime.
Though wearable tech does scream more of Dr.
Bellum, am I right? It could be a team effort or the brainchild of someone new entirely.
It is inevitable that VILE will begin the process of seeking my replacement, if they have not done so already.
The financial health of VILE is not looking pretty.
Our profits are down and we continue to suffer losses, Rio being quite the fiasco.
Carmen Sandiego's been putting way too big a dent in our resources, which is why it would behoove you to fill the vacancy left by Shadowsan with someone who knows how to get VILE out of the red.
Not only is Cookie stylish, she's smart with money.
[in Italian.]
Grazie, mi Contessa.
And a team player, our very own bookkeeper, a numbers girl, hatched a plan melding my technology with Cleo's fashion connections.
I, for one, champion comfort over frilly frills.
[Maelstrom.]
You will need to pull out all the stops, Miss Booker, after all, Black Sheep's escape from this island, her very look, can be traced back to your failings on that fateful night.
Let me assure you, Gunnar, no one steals from me, locks me in a closet and impersonates me without paying the price.
And I didn't even mention the water balloon attacks.
If Carmen Sandiego shows her face in Milan, she will become my first fashion victim.
[Julia.]
There has to be some explanation for why there were seen together in Rio.
Carmen Sandiego may have been information gathering or or trying to keep an enemy close.
Possible but unlikely.
I'm afraid our girl was recently seen in Japan and in Greece.
Care to guess who her traveling companion was? They do seem like more than casual acquaintances.
One agent's opinion.
Our mystery man is one of two suspects your ex-partner ID'd as his abductors that night in Poitiers, yet, ACME still can't put a name to the face.
He's a ghost, a shadow.
In short, he fits VILE's profile perfectly.
Our CrimeNet analysts indicate our super thief maybe bound for Milan.
It's Fashion Fest there, Agent Argent, so you had better look sharp as well as sharpen your resolve to catch Carmen Sandiego.
Anything more on potential VILE targets in Milan? Working on it, Red.
But I did learn a thing or two about Fashion Fest.
All the top designers show off their seasonal collections at certain times of the year in different cities of the world, Milan's a big one.
Every year, the shows get more elaborate and more competitive.
- [camera shutters clicking.]
- Big buzz translates to big profits.
[Carmen.]
What really fascinates me is Italy has a long history with fashion, dating back to the Renaissance, a period of great artistic and cultural achievement that began in the 14th century.
Wealthy families, like the Medicis, didn't just sponsor artists like Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci, they cultivated their own sense of high style.
[Player.]
No kidding, check out their threads.
Guess the Medicis did good while looking good, just like you, Red.
At least Shadowsan's getup doesn't look so out of place here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pizza and ice cream.
My four basic food groups right there.
Dairy, toppings, crust and cone.
It's gelato, Zack, Italian ice cream, and you can feed your face after we stop VILE.
Aw! Shadowsan will let me, right? [Shadowsan growls.]
That's not a no.
Fashion events are taking place in every major venue.
We should separate to cover more ground.
I'll need to blend in.
Shouldn't be too hard to find something chic to wear in my color around here.
Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest.
[sighs.]
Sandiego, you just got beached.
ETA to Milan, 36 minutes, 22 seconds.
Are you ready to bag a super thief? Yes, Agent Zari.
In fact, I am.
[music playing over stereo.]
[man.]
Ladies, you are representing La Dolcé Rita, so please class it up.
Number two, more mascara, I want to see your lashes from space.
And where are your fascinators? The hats, the hats.
- The lining's being re-stitched.
- On all of them? A haberdasher showed up, said Rita herself sent him.
Some hottie with a hat.
Someone, please make sure they're ready by showtime.
We're modeling with authentic Medici gowns tonight.
Not one seam in our presentation can be out of place.
Hottie with a hat, sounds like someone we know.
- You catch the part about the Medicis? - [Player.]
Yep.
It wasn't publicized, but it looks like the costume gallery of Pitti Palace in Florence recently loaned their 16th century finds.
Four vintage Medici gowns.
They're gonna be displayed during designer label La Dolcé Rita's presentation.
[Carmen.]
Not exactly what I'd call off the rack.
More like dressed to the nines, as in nine million euros because that's about their combined worth.
Stage crew, be on alert.
We may have just learned VILE's this season's must-haves.
You gotta it, Carm.
Guess that would make us the fashion police.
The Medici gowns are almost certain to be Carmen Sandiego's target, though they'll likely be under lock and key until showtime.
Search the hall, I'll have a look backstage.
[Player.]
So you think VILE's hats are lined with smart tech? I'd bet my hat on it.
We know Bellum loves her mind control experiments.
Instant remote controlled thieves.
Okay, but why the models? The Medici gowns will be vulnerable for a brief window of time while the models are on stage.
They'll be the only ones with clearance to be within reach of them.
All part of the show.
In plain view.
Totally VILE's M.
O.
[Cleo.]
My hench model, Dash Haber, is on site transposing La Dolcé Rita's headgear with our own.
Bellissimo, Countess.
Those mindless waifs will be dressed to steal.
And now, some headgear of my own.
Showtime, ladies.
[Zari.]
Hold it right there.
Funny, you actually have something right there.
- Hi-yah! - [gas hissing.]
Take five.
[groans, thuds.]
[music playing over stereo.]
[lights clicking.]
[man.]
In the beginning were the Medicis.
They're stunning.
Today, La Dolcé Rita brings a new fashion renaissance to Milan.
It's showtime.
[Bellum.]
Walk the walk, then secure the gowns.
- Showtime.
- Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest.
Jules, right? Hands in the air.
Now.
[gasps.]
You're not really dressed for the occasion, but we'll make it work.
What? Come on, I need your help.
To do what? The reason you're here, save those Medicis.
Keep it natural.
Just imagine an invisible string pulling your head straight up from your spine.
Walk with long strides and smile.
[Julia whimpers.]
Ready and turn.
Follow my lead and be ready to grab a gown.
You want me to steal? If we don't, the models will.
But there are four gowns.
Got it covered.
- Work it, work it.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
[Cookie.]
Who are they? One of them may or may not be a duke.
Mr.
Haber, report.
Uh, the gowns are ready for carry out, Countess.
[Cleo.]
Do not be so certain.
They like us.
Nouveau Zack and Ivy is gonna be all the rage, bro.
[indistinct chatter.]
[woman.]
Amazing.
[Zack.]
Mind if we cut in? Bye-bye.
[Cookie gasps.]
It's her.
- Carmen Sandiego.
- Saira, we need a redirect.
Ladies, I'm trying to focus here.
Supermodels, stop that super thief.
Retrieve those gowns.
[models grunting.]
[Zack.]
What's the plan, Carm? Get the gowns to safety.
Oh, and Jules is in charge.
- What about you? - [banging.]
Busy.
Get the gowns to safety.
[banging continues.]
That is far enough.
Sorry, teach, no dealio.
[models yelling.]
Not too ladylike, but I'm game.
[grunting.]
Clothes line.
I don't want to hurt you, ladies, but you're gonna need to lose those hats.
[grunts.]
[grunts.]
[groans, thuds.]
[grunting.]
[grunts.]
[Carmen.]
Thanks for the tip.
[groans.]
[grunting.]
Whew! [both groaning.]
Thanks.
My hats off to you.
[in Italian.]
Oh, scusi, scusi.
[in English.]
You were magnifico.
Which modeling agency are you with? I have quite a headache.
Goodnight.
[chuckles nervously.]
That's the way the cookie crumbles? [Carmen in Italian.]
Molto bello.
[in English.]
And the best part, VILE's footing the bill.
Good, because the price is steep.
You won't invite stares on the street dressed this way.
I still wish to revisit the idea of a proper headquarters.
[Player.]
Funny Shadowsan should mention it, Red.
When I was trawling around for fabric and fashion info, you wouldn't believe what I stumbled on.
Hackers really can wear white hats after Labor Day? Noted, but no.
Remember Carmen Brand Outerware? - Like I could forget.
- Well, guess what.
After proudly serving San Diego county for 80 years, they've gone out of business.
So you interrupted shopping day to tell me VILE's bookkeeper needs somewhere new to buy her rain gear? No.
The warehouse is up for sale.
The original location.
- In San Diego.
- And? Well, wouldn't it be freaky if the building made for a cool HQ? Can I get these? Zack got to have gelato and pizza.
I can't argue with the results, Agent Argent, though, your choice of partner was a bit outside the box.
It has been a challenge to reconcile all of Carmen Sandiego's contradictions.
Perhaps, but I feel I now know enough to propose that we stop trying to capture Carmen Sandiego.
What if we tried to recruit her? - [Brunt.]
Next.
- [monitor beeps.]
Pity shame the number cruncher didn't make the cut.
A shame indeed, Coach Brunt.
After the failure of Shadowsan, we cannot accept anyone less than completely loyal to VILE or thoroughly evil to the bone.
We must find Shadowsan's ideal replacement.
[pop music playing.]