Casual (2015) s04e03 Episode Script

Virtual Reality

1 [Brenda Lee's "Too Many Rivers"] BRENDA: I wish I could come back To you, dear 'Cause I know That you want me too But too much waters Run under that old bridge There's too many rivers To cross [chuckles] Oh, I see you've finally given in.
I know it sounds like a cliché, but my last nine dates have been torture.
Guess how many read books.
- Do you read books? - Two.
And one of them read the entire "Alex Cross" series, which is maybe worse than not reading at all.
I like Alex Cross.
Anyway, just be careful.
Some of Leia's clients are addicted to those things.
She says it rewires the brain with reward-driven video game behavior.
Oh, so different than all the other stuff designed by tech bros worshipping at the altar of social Darwinism? I'm kidding, Leon.
The architects of our social lives are very empathetic.
Down the rabbit hole we go.
[clears throat] [bumps chair] Fuck.
[knock at door] Hm? - Can I come in? - Yeah.
Uh, do you want your phone back? No.
Yes.
Ugh.
Thanks.
Do you think my hand will ever stop reaching for it - when I wake up? - Um if you don't wanna text her, you can just call me.
- Or you can take a deep breath - Mom.
Right, sorry.
I have to break up with all my clients today.
- Oh, no.
- Right.
Did I tell you about Cameron? I told you about Cameron.
He's gonna freak out.
Best case scenario is he just cries the whole 60 minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I've got to go.
Bye.
[somber acoustic music] VALERIE: I know it's scary, Cameron, but you have made so much progress.
Think about the first time you came to me.
You were so angry.
And now you can call your father and you can tell him why his words hurt you because you have a voice.
And you can use it and speak to him like you speak to me.
And remember, when you're meeting someone new, they're also meeting somebody new.
And odds are, they're experiencing the same feelings and insecurities that you are.
Which is why I'm referring you to Leia because you've known her for many years and if you want, I can give her access to all the notes from all of our sessions and she will take amazing care of you.
Fuck that.
- Dylan.
- I like talking with you.
And I like talking with you too.
Then I don't really see the problem.
It's not personal.
I'm doing this with all of my clients.
Because of your wine store.
- Yes.
- [sighs] - Can I be honest? - Mm-hmm.
Opening a wine store is a bad, bougie idea.
What will you do if it fails? I am hoping that it doesn't fail, Dylan.
But what if it does? Because so much of this is luck, timing.
What will you do? Try to sell your equipment back for pennies on the dollar? Nobody wants that.
Those sad little auctions where people's dreams are always out of reach.
Forget I said that.
I promise, I won't talk about the wine store.
It's a great idea.
I'm so sorry, but our time is up.
[indistinct chatter] [pop music playing] [beeping] Hi, I'm talking to thin air.
Cool.
- Hi, there.
- Sad? Overwhelmed? - Yeah.
- Worried you'll never find the answers to life's daunting questions? [upbeat acoustic music] Ask your doctor about Viviatron, and try a free sample today.
Oh, fucking bot.
[laughs] First time? How could you tell? You calling me a bot, jerk.
Well, you tried to sell me drugs.
And not the fun kind.
Well, you gave me a lovely pitch on the merits of sport tampons.
No.
Really? The computer gets ten seconds with our mouths.
The price we pay for virtual bliss.
Yeah, a room with a 3-D composite of some strangers - pure bliss.
- Boy, you're fun.
It beats a loud bar with no seating and strobe lights.
You don't like strobe lights, weird.
- [laughs] - Where are you right now? In my dining room.
What are you wearing? A sweater.
And socks.
Oh, baby.
I'm getting hot.
Where's your kid? With her mom who's out of town with her boyfriend for the first time.
Which, as you can tell, I'm totally okay with.
[chuckles] Mine's with his dad.
Shit.
I I gotta run.
Not to be too forward, but will you meet me later in a cheesy theme room for a proper date? If you say no, I'll stay for another few minutes and crack jokes till I break you.
A theme room, huh? Cheesy theme room.
- Hey, Chef.
- Laura.
So, um do you think maybe I could try a shift on sauté? Or fish? It's not that I don't like salads, it's just I miss using a pan, you know? Okay.
Shit.
- Hey, Laura? - Huh? You have a visitor.
Will you cover for me for, like, 30 seconds? Thank you.
[sighs] Do not show up at my place of work.
Seriously? We had one argument.
Can you try not taking it to 100? Look, you asked me to respect your space.
I'm asking you to respect mine.
You tried to move in without having a conversation, and now you're not talking to me? I don't have time for this right now.
Fine.
Whatever.
If you decide to start acting like an adult, let me know.
I liked her bow.
Are you gonna miss it? A little.
You could stay, and I will drink wine with you here.
You're gonna be so much better off without me.
Ugh, no.
[sighs] Is this a terrible decision? The store? And the debt sheets? And the thousands of dollars in remodeling and outstanding permits.
Oh, my God.
This is this a - this is a terrible decision.
- Yeah, well, if you make a mess of it, you can just come back and be my assistant.
Thanks, Leia.
Should we celebrate tonight? We could do another puzzle.
Um, I want to do that, it's just that Laura set me up with one of the investors from her restaurant.
Oh, that's nice of her.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Hey.
Don't forget about me.
[beeping] [jazzy music playing] Would you like a costume change? Um [sighs] Okay, sure.
You can buy it if you'd like.
Custom made and delivered in three to five business days.
- [beeping] - Hi.
- Eat Wendy's! - Jesus, fuck.
- Wendy's? - Uh-huh.
I hate that one.
[laughs] Look at that tux.
- Yeah.
Should I buy it? - Yes.
You'll definitely wear a tuxedo more than once every three years.
- Hm.
Is that a dare? - I dare you.
- I'll take it.
- [laughs] I like it.
A man of impulse and bad decisions.
Yeah, well.
What do we do now? Do we, like, solve a crime? Do we escape? Here's what I'm thinking: in the movies, the lady in the dress always plays quiet and sexy while the detective - does all the work, right? - Right.
Which is bullshit.
I wanna be the detective.
So how about I aggressively ask you first date questions and you humor me? Agress away.
- Who was your first kiss? - Wow.
Getting right to it.
If that's too risqué, we are going to have a problem.
Okay.
Jackie Bays on the school bus.
I was 11 years old, and she broke up with me the next day.
- So sad.
- Ouch.
Mm-hmm.
What'd you wanna be when you grew up? - Respected.
- Job wise, idiot.
Astronaut.
Explorer? Astronaut.
Childhood hero.
My sister.
Aww.
You guys still close? We are.
That's really sweet.
- Valerie? - Oh, hi.
It's the Wine Fairy.
[chuckles] I'm John.
- Oh, God.
Um - You can call me the Wine Fairy if you want.
No, that's what Laura calls you.
- Cool.
- Have a seat.
All right.
Thanks.
- Oh, is this your space? - Oh, no.
These are just my inspiration photos.
But, you know, I really I like the space in this one.
You know, there's room for people to move around and talk and you can start slow with inventory, order a few cases at a time, be flexible.
- Do you have a basement? - I do.
Are you looking to dump a body? [laughs] No, but you should temperature control it - and rent out locker space.
- Okay.
That sounds complicated.
The reason I ask if I'm being honest - Yes, please.
- The margins on these stores are thin enough as it is.
And empty space and buying a case at a time just kinda makes it sound like this is a a lovely little money pit.
- Yeah.
- But that depends on what you're selling.
- Nicer wines help.
- Mm-hmm.
So are you gonna stock by region or just pick your favorites? I just kinda wanna just sell what I like.
Great.
So what do you like? Red.
- [laughs] - I like a lot of things.
I like full-bodied, I like medium medium-bodied too.
I like chiantis.
I like all the Italians.
You know, malbecs, Syrah, um But I also like to drink white wine.
I like that a lot too.
I mean, like I said, I I I like it's a lot of things.
I really like wine.
This is totally unhelpful, isn't it? You're enthusiastic, which is great.
But you're gonna have to make some decisions here.
- Like, who are you buying from? - Mm-hmm.
Are you gonna do beer and food? And that'll affect permitting and infrastructure.
But first, yeah, you you gotta figure out what you wanna sell.
[sighs] [light folk music] It's late.
My weekend just started.
- Yay! - [laughs] Man what do you call it when you become a sad parody of yourself? - Pierce Morgan? - [laughs] Hey, how was John? Oh, um you know, just I haven't even started and I'm in over my head.
But thank you.
I appreciate the intro.
You're welcome.
Um if you're still in the giving spirit, uh, do you wanna help at the store tomorrow? I have to pick paint and build shelves.
Never that's stupid.
Never mind, never mind.
- Okay.
- No.
Really? Yeah.
That's great.
I mean, that's so helpful.
So - I gotta go to bed.
- BOTH: Okay.
- Good night.
- Bye.
[tense orchestral music] Really? [music stops] [sighs] This is terrible.
Hey, so, um how can you afford to do this? The store? I saved a little money.
And now I'm spending it.
Ohh.
I was wondering what happened to my college fund.
I know it sounds crazy.
I get it.
But If I wanna fuck up my life, I wanna do it on my terms.
Yeah.
You want it to be perfect.
I want it to be mine.
I want this shade of pink on my walls.
And I want racks over there.
I want a pour station right here.
I want it to be a place where people come together, spend time.
Like a living room.
- With a shit ton of wine.
- Exactly.
[laughs] Yeah.
But I don't even know what I'm selling and I don't even know what I like.
There are so many options.
- Where to start? - I don't know.
Buy wine.
Right? I mean, that's the fun of it all.
You get to throw parties and call it research.
[both laughing] - Wow.
- Thank you.
I think the only thing stupider than a limo is a virtual limo.
Just imagine that we're going to prom.
Okay, great.
- Now I have an erection.
- [laughs] [both laugh] Oh, my God, this song.
[Next's "Too Close" playing] Um I wanna meet you.
Me too.
Shit.
That's a pause.
There's a bot coming.
No, no, I do.
I just [sighs] Sometimes these spaces work better apart the virtual and the physical.
And you don't wanna get physical.
I do.
We could try it here first.
How? Well I touch myself and think of you, you touch yourself and think of me.
- [sighs] - And we remember that we're the only two people in this world of zeroes and ones at this exact moment.
And even though we aren't really together, we kind of are.
[beeps] What's this? Oh, it's just a consent form.
[pen scratching paper] [sighs] I feel very silly.
Can we change the song? Shh.
I love a night where I make $14 in tips.
No, I literally have no tickets.
It's cool, though, 'cause my landlord will definitely understand.
You can sleep on my mom's floor if you get evicted.
Thanks, that's nicer than a tent under the freeway.
Um, how's bow girl? Don't ask.
- Aw, young love.
- Why can't she just set herself on fire and take her well-curated digital footprint with her? - [sighs] - Hey, can we drink all of your top-shelf liquor? Laura needs it and I want it.
And everyone's solution to everything is drinking.
Is that really all we have? Um, you can always try and find God.
Oh, pass.
I guess I'll just sit here in your empty restaurant - and wallow.
- No, no, no.
Don't do that.
Amy wants to cut staff and get people off the clock.
So go home.
What are you up to? Just gonna try to find a decent glass of wine somewhere.
I might know a place.
It's my mom's house.
I'm talking about my mom's house.
[doo-wop music playing] [sighs] Oh, hey.
Wow.
Sorry, I just had to make sure it's really you and not your ghost, since apparently that's all I get now.
- I'm sorry.
I'm the worst.
- You really are.
- Can we hang out? - Yeah, we're hanging out - right now.
- Uh, well, I'm hanging out.
You're on your phone.
- Okay.
- You should come to my store.
- I will.
- And we need to see Mom.
I know.
Ugh.
On that note, I'm gonna go drink heavily.
Okay.
Okay, you're good.
I just oh, yeah, okay.
Everything good? Yeah, good.
You? Good.
- I'm so tired.
- Me too.
- [sighs] - Should we leave? I don't wanna be rude to Val.
You're pregnant.
It's the only time a woman gets a pass at being rude.
Okay.
Let's leave.
- Just yeah, just go.
- Okay, sure.
- So what do you think? - I think you should - introduce me to your brother.
- [clears throat] No, I mean about the wines.
Do you Is it weird? I don't think it's weird.
I should just talk to him.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
- Hi! - Hi.
I brought a couple friends.
- I hope that's okay.
- Oh, hi.
- This is Jess.
- How are you? - Nice to meet you.
- And you know John.
- Oh, yes.
Hello.
Hi.
- Hello.
[chuckles] Um - Gonna swipe these real quick.
- Okay.
- [laughs] Thank you.
- Uh, okay, do you would you like a drink? Sure.
I'll have your favorite red.
Okay.
Hm.
What's so interesting in that phone of yours? I'm just waiting for somebody.
Is it perhaps another nice looking, single man? - It's a woman.
- A girlfriend? Uh, well, we haven't had that conversation.
Feels like it's maybe headed that direction, though? Yeah, maybe.
It's hard to say.
- Okay.
- I guess, I don't know.
I it's like, she's really engaged, she asks a lot of questions.
I've honestly never met someone who wanted to know so much about me.
That sounds really special.
Where do you meet her? Uh, well, it's actually our first time meeting.
It's this online bar.
Really, it's a bunch of different places.
- Like VR? - Yeah, I know.
It's a little weird at first, but after a couple times you can hardly tell the difference.
She ask you a bunch of shit from when you were a kid? Like dreams and car types and first kisses? - Yeah, she does.
- Yeah, those are security questions.
That girl's not real.
I mean, she's real like, she's a person, but she's a person in Moldova - who's going to rob you.
- [laughs] - Okay.
Come on.
- Okay, well, did you show her your signature? Like, maybe on one of those consent forms for, like, a virtual masturbatorium? Masturbatorium's not a word.
You should cancel your credit cards.
- Really nice meeting you.
- Bye.
What do you think? Doesn't matter what I think.
- I'm not the one selling it.
- Well, technically, I'm not either, I just, um, have this big empty space I need to fill.
If you really want my help, you should show me your actual store.
- Yeah.
- Let me give you - an honest assessment.
- Okay.
Yeah.
See what we're working with.
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right.
- Great.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Hm.
Hey, um, I'm taking off.
Want some company? Nah.
I'm gonna go see a guy.
- Anyone I know? - Nope.
- He's disposable.
- Ah.
You know, you could just go talk to her.
I don't know, showing up in person, that's pretty rare.
No one's ever come to see me at the restaurant.
Adios.
[door opens, closes] [muffled music playing] [panting] [sighs] [beeping] [jazzy music playing] Would you like a costume change? No.
[sighs] - [chimes] - User search.
Recent connections.
Rachel Collins.
[sighs] [somber acoustic guitar music] [music fades] [doorbell dings] Sorry, man.
I know it's late, but if I don't make a full delivery, they dock me.
My 168th delivery of the day.
New record.
Whoo! Sign here.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
[chuckles] [Blac Rabbit's "The Way The Wind Whips"] - Ova.
- [chiming] Call American Express.
OVA: Calling American Express.
[sighs] MAN: I once had a lot of friends But now they're gone Because I thought I knew it all I thought I knew it all Now I feel much closer to the Earth Because I know Just how the wind moves I can follow How the wind whips I can follow I can feel the ground beneath my feet It's incredible But just a thought It's just a thought