Celebrity Juice (2008) s18e11 Episode Script

Christmas Special - Ricky Wilson, Stacey Solomon, John Barrowman, Denise van Outen, Alex James

1 Hello, I'm Santa Claus, and check out these Christmassy titles! Look, it's snowing! There's Holly Willoughboozy firing space lasers in the snow! There's Fearne Cotton riding a big, dirty cock-shaped spaceship.
There's Gino D'Acampo firing Christmas puds! There they are taking a selfie.
Online presence! They made it to the studio in time for the best telly show on television.
It's the Christmas Special of Celebrity Juice - not in 3D.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # So here it is, merry Christmas I'm online! You're online! # Everybody's having fun You're online! You're online! # Look to the future now You're online! It's only just begu-u-un You're online! Hoorah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to thee Celebrity Juice Christmas Special.
It's Christmas! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let's meet our team captains.
First up, it's Holly Willoughboozy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Happy Christmas! Holly, who's on your team? On my right, he's my Prince Charming tonight, it's Ricky Wilson.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) On my right, riding in on her magic carpet is Stacey Solomon.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) On my left, he's got a sack full of goodies, it's John Barrowman.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let's meet our other team captain, it's Fearne Cotton! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) He just asked me, "Why have you got a fucking peacock?" (LAUGHTER) Fearne, who's on your team? On my left, he's a pussy in boots - it's Gino D'Acampo.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! And on my right, he's the ultimate panto dame this evening, Alex James.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my other right, she WILL go to the ball, it's Denise van Outen.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Look at Denise van Outen there.
Do you love Christmas, Denise? I love it.
I love a good stuffing at Christmas.
Yes! Hey, hey, you cheeky minx! You cheeky minx! I love Christmas, that's why, Holly, I have got you a Christmas present.
Do you? Yeah.
I know you love Christmas.
Here's a present for you.
Merry Christmas.
Can I open it? Yes, yes! I wanna see your face! It's got a holly on it, as well.
Ooh, what is it? What is it? You can use it.
You can use it now, if you want, on television.
Oh (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It looks like I'm noshing myself off! Do you love me? I do.
That is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.
So my head goes inside your (BLEEP) and that rubs your clit.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, it's John Barrowman! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You've done a lot of panto.
I have, yes.
Are you playing Dick Whittington this year? I am playing Dick this year.
I'm doing it with the Krankies.
With the Krankies? We've got a picture of you with the Krankies.
There you are.
We were doing Robinson Crusoe and that was the wheel of the ship.
You're not doing Robinson Crusoe, you're doing Jimmy Krankie! I think we have a picture after this.
Here's the finish.
Anyway, here she is, it's Stacey Solomon, everyone.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # A whole new world A new fantastic point of view (LAUGHS) Cos you are a Jasmine from Aladdin.
I am.
Although I do feel like I'm a tarot card reader.
She doesn't mind me saying she's the sexiest rodent on TV.
You said it to me, you said someone said you look like a rat.
I did.
I've got rodent features, which I'm quite proud of.
I think rodents can be very attractive.
Well, you are.
Yes, yes.
I think we've got a photograph of you last Christmas.
Here you are with the family.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, it's Alex James! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) He's so rock and roll.
Isn't she? My boobs are killing me! Oh, my God, look at me! I've seen my face on the screen.
This has put the next Blur reunion back about five years.
You should all dress as dames.
Pantomime Damon.
You love Christmas, don't you? It's my favourite time of year.
What's it like, Christmas, at your house? Cos you've got about 100 kids, haven't you? Five kids.
Five fucking kids! Jesus Christ! You must have the best cheese board, though.
Cos he makes cheese! Could you supply my Christmas dinner? Absolutely.
All we eat is cheese.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's Ricky Wilson! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So, has the Kaiser Chiefs ever done a Christmas song? I did one last year with Gareth Malone.
Yes, yes.
No-one noticed.
ALL: Aw! It's still available.
Well, let's try and get it to Christmas No.
1, then.
What's it called? I think it's too late.
There's no charity attached, it was just me and him.
He did an extension and I needed a kitchen.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's Denise van Outen! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) How's it going, Denise? Good.
I feel like I haven't seen you for ages.
I haven't seen you for ages.
What have you been up to? I've been doing Loose Women.
How's that going? Really good.
I love it.
It's good, innit? It is good.
We have a real giggle.
I'm also judging Ireland's Got Talent.
Yeah, yeah.
We've got a picture of you and the judges.
I like the idea of being a judge.
Holly, would you be a judge? I don't think I'd be very good.
Yeah, you'd be fucking boring, wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you be good? When I was doing Xtra Factor, I used to pick the shit ones - Yeah, you'd be fucking boring.
Ricky, you've been a judge.
I loved every minute.
Would you say it's an easy gig? Oh, piece of piss.
Do you get emotionally involved, though? Seriously, I've been on holiday with some of my contestants.
Have you? Yeah.
So you've properly befriended them? I married one! Beat that! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's now time for our eighth year of The Lemon Awards.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yes! These awards are given to celebrities that have entertained us the most throughout 2017, voted by the public.
All you have to do is guess who you think the awards went to.
We're gonna start with you, Fearne, and the category is for the Celebrity Fall of the Year.
And the nominees are - Simon Cowell falling down the stairs, Ed Sheeran falling off his bike, Ben Shephard falling off a wall, and Gemma Collins falling down a trapdoor.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Fearne's team, who do you think won the award? Who did the general public vote for? It's a unanimous decision - we're for the GC.
You're going for Gemma Collins? OK, well, I've got the answer here in the golden envelope.
Let's see.
(DRUMROLL) I can tell you that the Celebrity Fall of the Year award goes to It's Gemma Collins! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK.
Here is this year's award.
There it is.
There it is.
But unfortunately, Gemma Collins can't make it tonight.
Really? Yeah, yeah.
It's a shame, innit? But she has sent us this video message.
Oh, my God! Keith, I can't believe it! I've never won anything! I couldn't even win Arg! Oh, my God, the GC has won! Embrace your curves, girls! Got a new one in this morning - this one just came in.
Anyway, I can't believe it.
Honestly! I'd like to say thanks to everyone who voted Fucking (BLEEP)! I'm gonna sue the fucking BBC, babes! She's got a potty mouth.
That's a point to Fearne's team! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, Holly's team, your category is the Best New Double Act, and the nominees are - Chris and Kem from Love Island, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding, and, of course, Holly's tits.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Holly's team, who did the general public vote for? Love Island was so big.
I think Chris and Kem.
But I do love Noel Fielding and Sandi.
And I love your breasts, obviously.
Although I'm a gay man, I'd like to speak for most men and women - we love Holly's tits.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I still think the popularity of Love Island was massive.
I don't know.
I'm starting to agree with I'm starting to agree that your breasts are phenomenal, and if I were to be sitting there, I'd probably go, "Yeah.
" Thank you very much for your support.
But I'm gonna go Chris and Kem.
OK, here's the winner in this envelope.
I can tell you The pressure! Oh, my God! I win either way.
I hope your tits win, honey.
it's Sandi Toksvig and Noel Fielding! (AUDIENCE GROAN) I thought they were coming in tonight.
Are they not coming in? No.
They're not coming in tonight, they're stuck in traffic, but they have sent us a video message, so here it is.
Oh, great, we've won an award.
Can I celebrate by saying something surreal? No, no, no! When you signed up for Bake Off, you promised you wouldn't say anything weird.
Oh, please.
You'll scare the grannies.
There's a chaffinch dressed as Jimi Hendrix.
The chaffinch is talking to a Womble.
No, it's not! Now it's a pixie - I haven't got a clue what he's saying.
Do you like my shirt? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) No point there, I'm afraid, Holly.
Well done, Noel and Sandi.
Loving the Bake Off with Noel Fielding.
OK, Fearne's team, the next category is The Most Outrageous Fashion Award.
And the nominees are - Katy Perry at the Met Gala, Gemma Collins' mesh swimsuit, Gemma Collins' orange dress, or Rihanna at the Met Gala.
But who did the general public vote for, Fearne's team? I think we're gonna go, again, with GC, but we're going for the hotdog-colour dress.
Gemma Collins with the orange dress? Let's have a look.
The winner is (DRUMROLL) Apparently, 25m people voted for this.
it's Gemma Collins! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) With the orange dress.
She couldn't be here, because she fell over, but for this award, I'm told she has arrived in a No, she hasn't arrived in the orange dress, she's sent a video message.
Oh, my God! Because, you know what, Keith, I can't believe it The GC has struck again! Oh, my God, I can't believe it! Because, do you know what, I can't believe it! Oh, my God! Embrace your curves, girls! The fucking BBC are gonna get right fucked! Oh, no-one said there was a hole there! Babe! That's a point to Fearne's team.
Come on, let's get one, yeah? This is for Dingbat of the Year, and the nominees are - Prue Leith announcing the Bake Off winner on Twitter before the final, Kieran Hayler, for continuously cheating on Katie Price, Kim Jong-un, for trying to start World War Three, or Gino D'Acampo, for growing a shit beard.
AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Holly, what's the answer? I'm thinking rationally about what is Keith gonna be able to dress up as? Shall we go Prue Leith? I think maybe.
We're gonna go Prue Leith.
Prue Leith? OK.
I can tell you that the winner i (GASPS) (SPLUTTERS) Oh, my gosh! It's Gino D'Acampo! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Now, unfortunately, they're telling me in my ear that Gino D'Acampo can't be here tonight, but he did send us a video message.
Have a look at this.
Hey, it's great to win this.
I can't believe Which fucking camera is on? Which fucking camera I'm looking at? This one? Great.
OK, it's great to win this fucking award.
I can't believe it.
S'good, s'good.
Really good.
Whilst I'm here, I'll make a pizza pie like my mama used to make for you, you (BLEEP).
OK, here it is there.
You get these - they look like a titty.
You get a dough ball.
You put on like this.
Really good.
And where is my Guinness? Fucking show! Where is it? Great.
Really good.
I can't believe it.
Gino's Italian Escape, Wednesday, eight o'clock.
Really good.
(IN YORKSHIRE ACCENT) Right, can I have a drink of pop? How do I get out of here? I need some pop.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The scores at the end of that round are, sha-ting! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Gino, can you remember when we did an Easter Special, and we played a game with Paddy McGuinness, and you had to eat the contents of a chocolate egg out of Paddy's mouth? That was disgusting.
Yeah? Disgusting.
We've got a special festive edition of that game, so let's play Ho, ho, ho! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So, here we are for a special yuletide edition of our egg game that we normally play at Easter.
What you've gotta do is lick out the contents of the egg and spit it into the eggcup.
Gino, you will be holding the egg - Why do I always have to be the hole, and somebody has to fucking do me? Look at yourself, you're a pussy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I want to know, what is the egg to do with Christmas? This is 'H-Easter', for 'H-Easter'.
It's got nothing to do with fucking Christmas.
First of all, there's no such thing as 'H-Easter', it's 'Easter'.
And these are special chocolate Christmas eggs.
You never get them in your stocking? You got those in your stocking? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Christmas eggs, yeah? Yeah.
You all got Christmas eggs, didn't you? AUDIENCE: Yes! Bollocks! You're lying.
I'm not lying.
You were winking! Bah-bah-bah! (MUMBLES GIBBERISH) Right, points will be going for performance.
Performance? You'll go on the klaxon.
Let the tongue see the yolk.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON SOUNDS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Ready? Is it out? Is it all out? That's one egg.
Next egg.
Next egg.
Now who's licking? You've got an allotted time! Got an allotted time.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Why are you humping me? You just have to lick! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That's it! (KLAXON SOUNDS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You've got a little residue on your chin.
For everyone at home enjoying Christmas, here's a slow-mo.
# Let me lick you up and down # Till you say, "Stop" # Let me play with your body, baby Make you real hot That's a point to both teams! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are, sha-ting! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're going to an ad break, see you in three! Coming up after t'break I've got you - put your legs up.
Look how excited he is.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hoorah! Merry Christmas! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, welcome back to the special Celebrity Juice Christmas Special.
Alex, you must have had some fun times at Christmas in the Groucho, maybe, with Jonathan Ross, yeah? (LAUGHS) You know Jonathan, don't you? Yeah.
He was the first to take me there.
Was he? I bet you got fucking blotto, didn't you? We certainly did.
In honour of Jonathan Ross, it's only right that we do a special Christmas edition of (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to the Really Merry Christmassy edition of the Wibbly Wobbly Game.
You just lay on Jonathan Ross' nose, then you have to describe a word to your teammates.
It's that easy - you're not allowed to say the word.
First up to play, it's Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh, God! Are you OK? Yeah.
I don't know how we're gonna do this.
Make sure your balls don't fall out.
Are you guys OK with that? (WAILS) I forgot how bad this is! (YELLS) Yeah, go for it before my brain falls out.
You open it every day.
Open it every day, there's a chocolate inside.
Easter eggs! It's a different number Oh, an advent calendar! Yes! (DING!) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK.
I'm really trying, sweetheart.
Macaulay Culkin.
Macaulay Culkin.
Oh, Home Alone.
Yes, yes, yes.
(DING!) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON SOUNDS) That was so violent this time! Oh, my God, my brain is fucked! Next up, it's Stacey Solomon! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's all right, I'm Oh! Wait a second! I haven't done my pelvic floor.
Put your back down - a bit like when you go for a smear test.
Oh, lovely.
Ready? I'm ready.
Crank it right up, she likes it fast.
No! Ah-ha-ha-ha! Oh, she's not had sex and Virgin Mary.
I'm a bear, and I'm a train.
I'm a bear, and I'm a train.
Polar Express.
I think we clawed back some points.
Yeah, that was good.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up, it's Denise van Outen! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Denise, when in doubt, don't whack them out, keep them in! No, don't! If one of my bollocks falls out Let me We can't let them see the butterfly, dear.
I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.
This reminds me of stuffing the turkey at Christmas.
Are you sure I'm not gonna fall out? I promise you.
I feel a bit loose! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's a boy! Hey, I've got you - put your legs up.
I've got you.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's where Santa lives, and his little helpers.
The North Pole.
Yes! Yes.
(DING!) Next one! Come on! Get in there! My tits are gonna come out! (KLAXON SOUNDS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Merry Christmas! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I hope he didn't have a Christmas orgasm - it's John Barrowman! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Gonna be a white Christmas! Oh, my God! Look how excited he is.
(RIP!) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) He's still doing it! My bollocks are gonna fall out! Do you want me to hold them? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I hate you right now! OK, so this is what I've got these almost falling out.
You put Giblets.
It's what you put inside a turkey.
(DING!) Oh, my God, man! It's about to fall out! OK, this is something that goes, "Oink, oink," and you wrap in pastry.
Pigs in blankets! Thank you! (KLAXON SOUNDS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Who'd like to see a Christmas slow-mo, when John split his trousers? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here it is! # Christmastime # Mistletoe and wine # Children sing in Christian rhyme With logs on the fire.
Well done to all our players.
And the scores at the end of that round are, sha-ting! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're going to an ad break.
Merry Christmas! Coming up after t'break I've fucking had enough.
Fucking knobheads.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, welcome back to the Celebrity Juice Christmas Special! Do you know what, I love the festive period, and I sat down and I wanted to come up with some family Christmas games everyone could play over the Christmas period.
And then suddenly, I was inspired, literally, by the Christmas period, so let's play (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hi, hi, hi.
Merry Christmas.
This is a lovely family game you can play at home, if you've some old tampons you're not using anymore.
All you're gonna do here in this game is dip a tampon in your mouth, which has been dipped in some food.
All you have to do is give me the ID of that food to win a point for your team.
It's so simple.
First up to play with us is John Barrowman.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Whoo! I'm just gonna get comfortable here, with my balls.
There's nothing I can do about it! I'm gonna blind you.
All right.
This'll be like a normal Friday night.
There you go.
Oh, no.
Here we go, here we go.
For everyone at home, this is what it is.
(AUDIENCE GROAN) JOHN: Oh, fuck off! Oh, it's nice.
It's nice! Are you ready? You've got this, John.
Open your mouth.
I got some I got some of the fur off the tampon! Ugh! What is it? It's like slipping, and licking the wrong hole.
It tastes like battery acid.
I (RETCHES) (COUGHS) As I sit with my balls out .
I think it is It's either Marmite or Vegemite.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's Marmite! Well done! Let's get rid of it.
It looks like the person put it in the wrong hole! John Barrowman, everyone! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up, it's Stacey Solomon! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I love tampons! They're fun! Aren't they fun? Exactly! When I was a kid, I used put them under t'tap and throw them at windows.
Yeah, yeah.
Me, too.
I'm gonna blind you.
Ooh, ah, ooh, ah.
There? Yeah.
Got it.
# One blind mice # One blind mice See how they run (APPLAUSE) Are you ready? I'm ready.
Here it is, here it is.
(AUDIENCE GROAN) Oh, my God, no! For you at home, this is what it is.
Oh, no, no! Yummy! It's nice! Keith! Nice! What is it? It's nice.
Stacey, it's nice.
Would I put anything naughty in your mouth? Are you ready? I'm ready.
Here it goes.
Oh, my God! Is that fish? No, is it peanut butter? No, wait.
Is it No.
It's not nice, don't keep putting it in there.
Is it Christmassy? It's Christmas You can buy it every day, or eat it at Christmas.
That narrows it down! Is it pig? No? Is it (KLAXON SOUNDS) Oh! I'm sorry! It was so hard! It was duck pate.
For crying out loud, that is not Christmassy at all! That is disgusting! No point, I'm afraid.
(APPLAUSE) Next up, it's Gino D'Acampo.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! This is really disturbing as a game.
No, it's not fantastic, but go on.
Are you 'blindeded'? I'm blinded.
Right, are you ready? Yeah.
But be nice, yeah? Yeah, I'll be nice.
This is Gino's, and for everybody at home, this is what it's been dipped in.
Are you ready? Open your mouth.
Open it a bit wider, I'm not gonna get it in! How fucking big is that thing? It's on your tongue! (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Fucking how big was it, a fucking Avatar tampon? Gino! Gino, it's my cock! It's very tomatoey, like a pizza sauce or No.
No, it's not that.
Taste it again.
I got it! "I got it"! What is it? (KLAXON SOUNDS) Oh! (APPLAUSE) What is it? What is wrong with you?! It was pasta sauce.
But there is not such a thing as pasta sauce in Italy.
Gino, you've got your own pasta sauce that you sell in jars at the supermarket.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Why such a big thing? You wanna why you've got a massive tampon? Because you're a massive (BLEEP)! Gino D'Acampo, everyone! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are, sha-ting! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Fearne Cotton, can you remember last series, when we had the swimming game, where you just had to swim? Yeah.
The only thing that was missing was? You forgot the water.
I didn't forget the water.
Who forgot the water? The production team.
But because it's Christmas, they've promised me that we do have water, so let's play (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Hello, and welcome to Christmas Swimming! I can't believe it - water, swimming, Christmas, my favourite things.
Let's meet our swimmers.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here we are at the pool.
Yes .
at the pool that has no water in it.
Why is there no water? You said it's Christmas, we're gonna have water.
Pardon my Francais, but where's my fucking water? You know what, I've fucking had enough of this.
Fucking knobheads.
Two seconds.
Where is he? Toby, what's going on with this swimming lark? We didn't have any water last time - it's Christmas, we've got no water! What's that? Water.
It's water, you water-guzzling bastard! You know what, don't fucking say you can get things if you can't! And don't fucking film me! Don't film me having a diva fit! I don't want this on telly! And don't bastard zoom in! I can tell you're zooming in, cos your eye goes a bit funny! Honestly! There's another thing me and Gino were discussing - we're you on The Big Breakfast? Cos I recognise you.
I was.
Floor manager.
That's right.
He owes me a tenner.
Get some fucking water, man! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You've gotta tell them.
We can still do it.
OK, so, we've got no water, so it's now time to play (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Christmas Dry Swimming.
It's still as fun, it's Christmas.
It's still as fun, isn't it? So it's a relay race.
All you've gotta do is swim to the end, swim back, touch the wall and change partners, OK? I will go up there, and if anyone gets in any trouble in the in the dry pool, I'll come and save you.
Do we have to dive in? No.
Are you ready? Ricky Wilson versus Alex James first.
On the Olympic beeps.
(BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP) (WHISTLE SOUNDS) There they go with a front crawl.
Look at Ricky go, he's like the Man from Atlantis! Honestly! Holly's in! Holly's in! Holly versus Fearne with doggy paddle.
That was a good kick-off there.
Well done, Holly! That's it! Yes! And Fearne's in the water.
There they are - Holly versus Fearne with doggy paddle.
The breaststroke! We've got Denise van Outen and Stacey with the breaststroke! Go, Stacey! You're watching Dry Swimming on ITV2! Come on! Come on, Stacey! Wow! Look at Solomon go! That's it, Denise, push off! They're doing the breaststroke, as you can see.
Barrowman is in! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Butterfly! We've got Barrowman and D'Acampo doing the butterfly! Or is he doing the worm or caterpillar? Look at them go! (WHISTLE SOUNDS) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Here's an action replay of the winning moment.
# VANGELIS: "Chariots of Fire" (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I've joined the Barrowman Club - I've split my pants.
Let's make it real.
The winner is .
Holly's team! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are, swimming! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're going to an ad break, I'm off for a poo.
I'll see you in two! Coming up after t'break I'm scared.
There's something for everyone in there, apparently.
I don't know what it is.
I'm excited.
What could it be? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, welcome back to Christmas Celebrity Juice! Are you having a good time? Are you having a good time? Are you having a good time? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I hope you're having a good time.
As it's Christmas, who fancies a quick game of Christmas Don't Show Keith Your Teeth? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You know how to play this game.
It's a word association game, you mustn't stutter, mustn't repeat, you mustn't show Keith your teeth.
And the subject is Ricky.
(MUMBLES) Eh? (MUMBLES) Quality Street! No-one has sex on Christmas day! John! Well JOHN: Eggnog.
Hello, Christmastime! # Christmastime # Mistletoe and wine Everybody blah-blah-blah (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Watching Peppa Pig.
I have a Baileys at 8:00 in the morning.
Prawn cocktail.
Eh? So Essex.
You wear your pyjamas all day.
We usually have at lunchtime, we have a steak and kidney pie.
A what? You play board games.
We gather round the cheese board in my house.
That's the funniest thing I've (BUZZ) Eating a packet of (MUMBLES) No.
(MUMBLES) Yeah! (HUMS ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES THEME) You're like one of the Muppets! Go for a walk in the country? Kiss under the mistletoe.
Strictly Christmas Special.
Because we live in Palm Springs (BUZZ) (BUZZ) That means that Holly's team wins the point! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON SOUNDS) Oh, there's the klaxon! That's the end of this Christmas Special.
(APPLAUSE) ALL: Aw! The winning team gets that Christmas present.
I didn't even know it were there! AUDIENCE: Ooh! OK, let's find out who's gonna get the Christmas present.
The winning team is (DRUMROLL) .
Holly's team! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You were doing so well! Holly, go get your present.
I'm scared.
There's something for everyone in there, apparently.
I don't know what it is.
I'm excited.
What could it be? You've won an elf! (SCREAMS) I was Keith Lemon! If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you next year! Merry Christmas! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # MARIAH CAREY: "All I Want For Christmas Is You" Bye-bye! Merry Christmas!