Chad (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

Ikrimah Breakup

1
♪♪
♪♪
Hello.
Oh, my God. Chad.
Hey. Hey.
Oh, my God, Mom, is this real?
Is it Ikrimah here when it's nighttime?
Um
Yeah, man.
We're just
How are you doing, man?
I'm doing great. Mom, this is awesome!
Does he live with us now?
Do you live with us now?
Chad, honey, can we talk
about this tomorrow, please?
- Oh, my God.
- What are you doing?
I'm just giving Ikrimah a hug
'cause I had a little nightmare.
Oh.
Okay, that's probably enough.
I had a little nightmare
- Oh. Yeah.
- that I didn't like.
So, thanks for this hug.
IKRIMAH: Yeah.
Got a little bit
of your body sweat on me.
It's okay. It's cool.
Chad's my little homie.
You really think I'm your little homie?
Yeah. Yeah!
CHAD: Thank you.
♪♪
Okay. So, sorry if that was
a little jarring for anyone,
but it was just easier for
Ikrimah to stay here last night,
totally spur of the moment decision.
I bet it was.
You know what?
You are a real player, lady.
Okay. Alright. That's enough.
- I mean
- You know it.
I want to make sure you
understand what this means.
Ikrimah is basically
in our lives forever now.
Guys, no. This is not serious yet.
Okay?
Mom, if there's one thing
I know for damn sure,
it's never too early
to say "I love you."
MARGARET: You know what they say.
Can't get over the last one
until you get under the new one.
Am I right?
Oh, shit.
CHAD: Man, Ikrimah's probably
gonna be moving in soon.
There you have it.
And suddenly,
I'm part of a mixed race family.
Sounds like things
are moving pretty fast.
Yeah. You know,
it's a lot on my shoulders.
Yeah, well, my mom's half Puerto Rican,
so I kind of know what that's like.
Yeah. These are the kinds
of conversations
we should be having as a nation.
Good job, man.
Thanks, Chad.
Even just talking about Ikrimah
makes me miss him.
I think I'm just gonna
text him real quick.
- Yeah.
- Text him a little selfie.
Watch. He's gonna text me right back.
He's gonna text back right away.
- Told you.
- Nice.
Told you.
God, I love this man.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi.
Hey.
My mom is having sex with this person.
Cool.
He's handsome as hell, huh?
Okay. And why are you telling me this?
Because I'm black?
No.
Can you imagine?
I can.
No, I'm telling everyone.
I'm telling white people, too
Sarah, Kimberly.
Mom, I'm buying a baseball glove
so I can have a catch with Ikrimah!
Hamid, why are you
staring at me like that?
No reason.
I'm not nervous about anything.
Hey, honey.
Ikrimah and your mom just broke up.
Hamid!
What? What did he say?
Okay, honey, I
I actually wanted to talk
to you about this.
Ikrimah and I broke up.
What?
I'm really sorry.
- No.
- Yes.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No!
Chad, I know he meant a lot to you,
but sometimes, these things
just don't work out.
This is impossible. He just slept over.
I saw his bare chest
with my own two eyes.
I know, honey.
But people can sleep over,
and then change their minds.
Mom, all you have to do
is apologize for everything.
Oh, come on, Chad.
[GRUNTS]
I know. It's okay to be sad.
But you will get over this.
Just please Just give me one second.
Okay.
[SCREAMS]
CHAD: "Dear Ikrimah, this is
your beloved ex-girlfriend, Naz.
I know you were going out on
a limb dating a divorcee,
but what the heck happened to us?
You and my son were two peas in
a pod who became best friends.
Please, let's return to that.
Chad's life is depending on it.
No presh.
I'm straight up
willing to do whatever it takes
to get you back.
Your former, but also
hopefully future, lover, Naz.
If none of this worked,
I have also enclosed $10.
Bye."
♪♪
Stupid letter.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
♪♪
♪♪
Hey. Can I ask you a quick question?
As long as it's not about black people,
or the black guy your mom is smashing.
Dang it.
Hey, Ikrimah, I thought
I'd leave you a voicemail,
catch you up on some stuff.
If you wanted to get in touch with me,
pretty much, I'm free today
from 1:15 to 1:55,
and then again from 2:07 to 2:18.
So, yeah, shoot me a text
or give me a call.
God, I miss you.
Okay. Bye.
Shit. I forgot to say "It's Chad."
HAMID: Chad.
Chad's dead.
Chad, you've got a package.
Your baseball gloves.
Hamid, do you have plans right now?
I do.
How do you feel about totally
abandoning them, real quick,
and helping me out with something?
It would be my pleasure.
♪♪
Thanks, Hamid.
No problem.
And you're cool with
not asking any questions
about where we are, or what I'm doing,
or how long I need to be here?
I'm good.
I have a portable Scrabble set.
I play against my own brain.
Okey dokey.
I idolize you.
Go get them, guys. I believe in you.
You can do this, Chad.
Okay.
♪♪
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'm a little nervous to see Ikrimah.
Oh. Well, when I get nervous,
I usually like to tap my third
eye to calm myself down.
- Like this?
- Mm-hmm.
Really relieves the tension.
That's really good.
Where the hell has this been
all my life?
Oh, no, man.
CHAD: Hi, Ikrimah.
Hey, Chad.
Crazy-ass week, man.
Crazy. Yeah. I've got some friends over.
I'm just You know,
I'm just trying to chill.
And I'll meet them in a second, but
- Yeah. Where's your mom?
- Oh.
I don't know. Where do moms hang out?
The freaking grocery store?
It doesn't matter. I'm
I'm here to see you.
How do you even know where I live?
I just enabled location
sharing on your phone
while you were in the bathroom.
What?
Yeah. It's not weird.
A lot of people my age do that.
[LAUGHTER]
That sounds like like giggling.
Do you hear that?
Yeah. Someone must have told
a pretty good joke, right?
Yeah. I love a big group of friends
laughing at something.
Let's go.
- Thank you.
- I got it.
Okay.
Do you want to introduce me
to your friends, or should I
Hey, guys!
MIKE: Whoa. Ik, who is this?
I'm sorry. What did you call him?
I called him "Ik."
Oh, shit, I love that.
Little nickname.
IKRIMAH: This is Naz's son.
His name is Chad.
And this is his friend
- Peter. -Peter. -Peter.
- Yeah.
Sorry to come empty-handed.
Chad wouldn't tell me
where we were going until
That's okay, Peter? Shut up.
Oh, my God. Loving this friend group.
How's everyone doing?
I love your hot pink sweatshirt, man.
You look awesome.
How does everyone feel about guacamole?
Just get going with a little snack.
Ik, you got any fresh lemons
up in this bitch?
Brb, guys.
Who doesn't want guacamole, bro?
Is that marijuana?
Yeah.
Can I take a hit?
Uh, yeah, sure.
I guess you could have a hit.
Hm.
[CLICK]
[INHALES]
What? How is he What?
[EXHALES]
Thanks.
That's what I'm talking about, bro.
Gonna pretend like I didn't
see you give him that.
I'm gonna pretend like you are
a good police officer.
[LAUGHS]
Oh. Here's some guac.
[CHUCKLES] I'm Chad.
Oh, I recognize some of your faces
from Ikrimah's tagged photographs.
Latrent.
Oh, man. Hi.
I'm Chad.
What's up?
Yo, Latrent's a cop.
So don't get out of line.
Wow. Black and a cop.
You just must wake up
every morning feeling like,
"What the hell side
am I gonna be on today?"
It's like, "Pick a lane, Latrent!"
Right?
Oh, my God, this is so much fun.
What are we doing for
the next few hours, you guys?
Um we were actually
gonna watch "I, Tonya."
"I, Tonya"?
Yo, 'cause Margot Robbie's bad as hell.
- Bad!
- Bro.
That is a badass white woman.
- It's crazy.
- Street, though?
She's a bad bitch. [CHUCKLES]
I loved her in "Focus."
I don't even particularly
like white women.
- Me either.
- I hate white privilege.
Right?
[INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV]
I'm really enjoying myself.
That's good.
Yeah.
Are you guys all familiar
with the phrase.
"Black doesn't even begin to crack"?
About black skin.
"Black doesn't crack."
Doesn't even begin to crack.
Your guys' skin is good.
Don't forget the guacamole.
It's my dad's recipe.
My dad from, like, before, not Ikrimah.
I was never your dad.
I was never his dad.
- Basically, though, he was.
- I wasn't.
Okay, shh, shh, shh.
He's the father figure.
Shh. I'm trying to listen.
Okay, sorry.
Oh, yo, I know you didn't
just touch my dreads.
I did.
Ik, come on. Stop it, for real.
Look, I'm trying to just
watch the movie, right?
And I'm trying to be cool.
I really am trying to be cool.
But he talking about Black Lives
Matter, touching my dreads, bro.
Like, honestly, forget the movie, okay?
Bro, I'm freaking out
because I put my number
in this little dude's phone.
What is going on right now?
Yo, Ray, okay. It's cool.
I got it. I got it.
No, it's too late.
You don't got it. You don't got it.
'Cause I ain't even tell you this.
Like 15 minutes ago,
this little dude came up
and gave me a hug from behind.
From behind, bro.
Ikrimah, your friend's popping off.
Okay, Chad, seriously, what is
your obsession with black stuff?
I-I'm just saying I really like
your guys' culture.
If anything, I'm saying
you're better than the whites.
Am I the only one trippin' right now?
I'm trip Am I You good?
Is he the only one tripping out?
I'm enjoying the movie.
Chad.
I can't even. What are you doing?
Hey, guys. You brought Peter?
Seriously?
We are going home right now.
God, you you told her I was here?
Yeah, as soon as you got here.
Why would you do that?
I thought we were homies.
That's what I've been trying
to tell you, man.
We can't be friends.
Chad, grab your things. Let's go.
Right.
I just have to use the bathroom.
♪♪
[DOOR SLAMS]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Chad, please. This has gone far enough.
CHAD: I'm not coming out.
I'm staying in here, and I'm not crying.
Nobody said you were crying, dude.
Just open the door.
We'll talk it out.
Hey, by the way.
Hey.
You good?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You may not believe this,
but I've been in many extremely
similar situations before.
[LOCK CLICKS]
Dang it.
Ohh, Chad.
You're taking a bath?
I like the bubbles.
Honey, we have bubbles at home.
Mother, I am not interested
in talking to you right now.
Ikrimah, please stay in here
as long as you want.
Chad.
Hey, dude, it's not your mom's fault.
She's actually cool as hell.
What?!
I'm actually serious.
Chad, your mom's awesome.
So are you, dude.
That was really nice,
what he just said about you.
Now will you date him?
Chad.
But if everybody likes each other,
then why are you breaking up?
I mean, was the physical stuff
just a total train wreck?
No, but it's just
Ikrimah?
No, Chad.
Relationships are tough.
You don't understand now,
but you will someday.
Okay, what if I propose something else?
What if you guys did none
of the relationship stuff?
The hanging out, the kissing,
just get rid of all that, okay?
Just two adults managing
the children, paying the bills.
Does that sound exciting?
No.
I'm also gonna say no.
What is wrong with you guys?
To be honest, part of the reason
that we knew this wasn't gonna work out
is because I'm not ready
to be a father figure.
My God, Niki is pretty much
raising herself, right, Mom?
Tell him.
He's not worried about Niki.
♪♪
Could you give us a minute alone?
Yeah, happy to.
I'll get you some wine.
Yes.
What is that supposed to mean?
You know, maybe someday
I'll meet someone you like
even better than Ikrimah.
Ikrimah's the best thing
that ever happened to us.
He's really not, Chad.
Whatever. What can we do
to get you out of this tub?
Do you think Ikrimah
would have a catch with me?
One last time.
Is it at all weird
that I'm in his bathtub?
It's really weird.
Shoot.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Thanks for doing this.
Yeah, man, whatever you need.
Chad, these are batting gloves.
Yeah, baseball gloves.
Okay, yeah, I feel like
I'm losing my mind.
Let's just do this.
[VELCRO TEARING]
Tight little squeeze.
I thought we'd get ♪
To see forever ♪
But forever's gone away ♪
What the hell am I looking at?
- What's going on?
- Closure.
Alright.
Yeah, that that honestly
didn't really do anything for me.
NAZ: Good. Let's say good night.
Wrap it up.
Damn, it's this part. [CHUCKLES]
You guys are a great, great bunch.
Ray. Ray, Ray, Ray.
You's a trip.
No one No one can say
you's not a trip.
Hey, man, don't
Don't ever feel insecure
that you lost your little mind
in front of two children.
It's okay.
Man, happy I met you.
Whatever you do, just try to remember
to keep your mental health
number one, one hunnid.
Yep.
Ikrimah.
You mean a lot to me, man.
I'm really grateful
you came into my life.
I will say, Chad,
I'm glad I got to know you.
If we get ♪
To see tomorrow ♪
I hope it's worth all the wait ♪
Thanks, Ik.
It's so hard to say goodbye ♪
Oh.
To yesterday ♪
I think this goes without saying, but
Oh, my God.
That was the black power salute.
- We got it, Chad.
- Get him out.
To be my sunshine ♪
- Have a good night.
- Wow.
- Good night, Peter.
- See you, Peter.
See ya.
It's so hard ♪
To say goodbye ♪
To yesterday ♪
[LAUGHS]
And I'll take with me the memories ♪
To be my sunshine ♪
After the rain ♪
[MEN VOCALIZING]
♪♪
It's so hard ♪
To say goodbye ♪
To yesterday ♪
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