Channel Zero (2016) s02e01 Episode Script

This Isn't Real

1 [wind chimes ringing] [breathing heavily] [breathing heavily] [tense music] [screams] Lacey? [muffled shouting] No no, please! Shh.
Why did you do this to yourself? [Lacey panting, whimpering] [grandfather clock chiming] I'll just I'll just take it right off.
No! Everybody, this is Margot performing on the piano.
Thank you, thank you.
[gentle piano music] [tense music rises] [tense music intensifies] [gentle piano music] - I'll just talk to the manager.
- Go talk to him, yeah.
- Okay, I'll be right back.
- Yep.
[gentle music] Hi.
Hey.
Tim, he knows.
Jason knows.
[phone buzzes] Does he know because you told him? - No.
He asked me.
- Well, I didn't tell him.
He asked me if something happened.
[phone buzzes] Just 'cause we're crippled don't mean we have to take the crumbs.
What, you got some secret way we get back up on the chairs now? - New phone? - Hey.
What the heck are you doing here? You didn't think I'd let the whole summer go by - without coming home, right? - Um I'm, like, your only friend.
Oh, thanks.
This is nice.
Yeah, could have been doing it all summer, but somebody had to go back to school, take more classes.
You sure you didn't fall in love with some married professor or something? No, I don't catch feelings.
Ever.
You could come back with me, you know? We could get an apartment off campus.
Margot.
Come on, I'm so over my suitemates.
They're really lame.
Is it sweetmeats or sweetbreads that's, like, the neck part of the cow? Probably breads, right? 'Cause it's counterintuitive.
It's like the whole Iceland, Greenland situation.
All right, so you're just gonna keep living at home with your mom in the past.
You really don't have to save me from my life, you know? But thanks.
[phone vibrates] [sighs] Hey, guess who I'm meeting up with at Hall Pass later.
Am I literally supposed to guess? JT.
You should come.
Ugh.
You know how I feel about activities.
[phone buzzes] - Hey, Jules.
- Oh, hey.
Where have you been all summer? Margot's been such a recluse lately.
Mom! My flight's at five, so I'm heading out.
Try not to auction yourselves off online or anything - while I'm away.
- Okay, we'll try.
[chuckles] All right, so you're coming tonight, right? Mm-hmm.
Come on.
When was the last time you legit had fun? When was the last time that you were touched in a non-platonic way? I told you, nobody understands me.
Eh, yeah, you should handle this dry spell.
You want to start a forest fire? You could set this whole neighborhood on [water splashes] [laughter] I did not deserve that.
Yeah, you did.
You did.
Oh, my God.
[tense music] Someone just sent me this really weird video.
Yeah, me too.
Really? Yeah.
Should we get in the water? Uh, yes.
We should get in the water.
[Gooey's "Glass Animals"] Okay.
I come close Okay, ready? Let me show you everything I know Mind my simple song This ain't gonna work Mind my wicked words And tipsy-topsy smirk [indistinct chatter] - Hey.
- What's up? - Hey.
- How you been? Hey, what's all that? What is that? - Show me.
- Some ink.
Okay.
All right.
That's my favorite sea creature, definitely.
Good pirate ship, love it.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, JT, stop trying to be cool.
We knew you as a child.
We saw you go through puberty, you know? Sorry.
[laughter] Hey, uh, where's, um, you know? Oh, he had to bail.
Who did? Your date.
She told me to bring someone for you.
Margot.
Margot, wait! Wait, hey! I didn't want you sitting at home being grim.
Well, I have a right to be grim.
- Yeah, you do, but - Yeah.
I get it, I apologize, and, you know, he couldn't find anyone anyway, so Oh, makes me feel great.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sor no, I'm sorry.
I just I'm not feeling it.
Can we hang tomorrow? You leaving already? What? I just I saw you walk in here and take one look at this place and leave, so I figured you were kind of a misanthrope.
Like me.
Okay.
So you're So you're going? Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm just really tired.
Um Well Well, nice to meet you.
I hope you get some sleep.
Night.
Ugh.
So, so tired.
All right, well, you should go.
- Have fun.
- Thanks.
- At your house.
- Okay.
[upbeat music] [laughter] - Jeez.
- Dude.
- [overlapping chatter] - I think a little bit He's doing his best.
So, uh you seeing anyone at the moment or Nope, single as a Pringle.
You know.
[chuckles] So you're a cat person? I like cats.
They're smart.
Yeah, but guys with cats are all like weird loners, you know? No, sorry.
I mean, if you think about it though, that's kind of my type, I guess.
I always have this dream where I get attacked by a horde of puppies, and they start eating me, and they're very cute.
It's horrible.
Okay, JT, what are you doing? Just do it like you're You know, like you're moving through water.
Instead of just, you know, poking at the ball and [laughing] No! JT! What are you doing? Don't do that.
Yeah, sorry.
You're probably right.
Too weird.
What? Come on, it's fine.
Why are you back in town anyway? You ever heard of the No-End House? I have this nightmare where I'd be at my grandma's house, and I'd be walking down this, like, long hallway, and then at the end there'd be this standing mirror, and there would always be someone hiding behind it.
And I'd wake up so scared every time.
Yo, Margot, show me your phone.
Why? [eerie music] Last time it was in the U.
S.
was six years ago, somewhere outside Detroit.
Since then it's been in Eastern Europe, South America.
It just shows up.
The only advanced warning is people in the area start getting these teasers, texts, a post on your Instagram.
Most people have no idea what it is, but in the past couple of days, it's been happening here.
This is, like, one in a million.
Yeah, I don't even know where it is.
There's no, like, address on it.
Yeah, the address comes later.
There'll be a commercial or something.
I don't know.
Sounds just like a super-bougie haunted house to me.
It's six rooms, each is supposed to be scarier than the last, but it's psychological.
Gets in your head.
Everybody who goes in describes it totally different.
Most people don't even make it to the sixth room, and the people who do never seen again.
[laughter] Definitely not.
Yeah, well, you live and learn, right? You live and learn.
I read that the nightmares that you have as a kid are usually about a fear of change.
Really? [both chuckle] Then mine were foreshadowing.
Do you want to talk about it? Mm.
I don't really know you.
Yeah, I guess that's fair.
Do you remember in, like, second grade, they'd take us into town to the library? This one day Margot and I found this book about myths, and there was this chapter on the succubi, and all of a sudden my neck and ears got all warm Because, you know, for whatever reason, that was just you know, it was like every urge and every impulse and every scary adult feeling that I just didn't understand yet.
I can see the appeal.
Tell me something about yourself.
I grew up in foster homes.
What was that like? I just felt different.
You know? Because I was always trying to blend in, make friends, I met a lot of different kids, a lot of different homes.
People come and go, you know? My dad died.
What happened? He had allergies.
Imagine dying from something so dumb.
Yeah, he was taking these prescription meds, and then he had a really bad allergic reaction, and he fucking died.
I actually found him.
In there.
This hunter often must begin full sprint from a half mile out just to hope to catch a single member of the herd who got caught flatfooted just a moment too long.
And even with the long lead time, cheetahs can spend up to two miles in full-sprint pursuit before needing to rethink and regroup.
The TV was still on like he had just fallen asleep watching it, you know? It was last year, and I was supposed to be home by ten.
I always just think, like, if I had actually just been home by ten, maybe Or maybe not.
I'm getting chilly.
How you doing? I knew this was my day.
What what do you want? That's an easy question.
But I'm in a little bit of a hurry, a little bit of a rush.
You you're the convict.
I was, but I'm out now.
I'm gonna stay out.
And you're gonna help me.
You better get out of here.
My husband will be back in a few minutes.
Now you see, you're off to a bad start already.
Your [distortion, whirring] [laughter, indistinct voices] [unsettling laughter] [jingle plays] Out to get the harvest.
Well, I think it was It's an Egyptian invention.
Oh, right.
Margot? What's up? [suspenseful music] Hey, how was it? You guys have fun? - [retches] - Oh.
- Oh.
All right.
- It's okay.
Okay.
Ooh.
I heard they use subliminal images and sub-aural sound waves to make you more vulnerable.
Totally messes with you psychologically.
Could you simmer down, JT? It's a haunted house.
They just tricked you into thinking it's special 'cause they didn't invite you.
[indistinct chatter] He wouldn't even tell him, though.
- No way.
- That's crazy.
Oh.
- Okay.
- Here we go.
[indistinct chatter] Hey, man.
How'd you hear about this place? Been looking for it.
Come on.
- You're gonna go in for sure? - Yeah.
We heard it's crazy in there.
Boo! I also heard they spray the area with a hallucinogen, so we're all gonna be tripping by the time we go in.
Oh, yeah, it makes perfect sense.
[whimpering] [indistinct chatter] [door shuts] You guys gonna make it through all the rooms? Hell yeah.
[tense music] - [lock squeals] - Whoa.
Wait.
Already? Damn, did it eat them? [door opens] You scare easy? It depends on the type of scare, I guess.
I guess we're gonna find out.
[overlapping chatter] [footsteps rustling] [jazzy music playing] Don't shake with fear As I draw near I'm just a harmless creature Don't think me wild I'm meek and mild For weakness is my feature This isn't very scary.
Please have a little pity Mitch It's you.
- Oh? - Oh, my God.
- Here's you, Tamara.
- Here's me.
Oh, my God.
I mean, it kind of looks like me, right? - That's insane.
- I think that's yours.
That disbanded in theory I'm the gold from a bond That were only out for glory, glory, glory That's crazy.
Hallelujah-lujah, money never talks In me you'll see a novelty That's weird, my phone's freezing.
Mine too.
On salary day they used to pray That I'd make my appearance But railroad fares So wait, how did they do this so fast? They must watch us while we're in line.
Use some kind of 3-D printer and software that translates our image.
Fucking wow, dude, this is brilliant.
When I tell you that I couldn't even pay this [music stops] I don't like this.
There should be an exit light.
Where's the exit light? - Where's your hand? - What? It reminds me of that Douglas Gordon installation, you know? [music continues, distorted] Mine's fine.
I want to know how they did that.
You know what? No, forget it, I'm out.
Don't shake with fear As I draw near I'm just a harmless creature Don't think me wild I'm meek and mild For weakness is my feature [unsettling music] [latch clanks] Don't smirk like that.
[laughter] They must have permits for this place.
I mean, the city must know about it, right? Yeah.
There are no windows.
[door shuts, lock clicks] [tense music] You a cannibal? [chuckles deeply] [whispers indistinctly] [whispering continues] You okay? Margot? [tense music] [breathing heavily] Guys, they're just actors.
They're actors.
Relax.
Yeah.
I mean, they've got to be.
Right? Yeah, this is amazing.
So confrontational.
[door creaks] Margot? Ready? Next room? You guys should leave.
What? Go on, it's not too late.
All right.
You think he was an actor too? Or just some crazy guy.
Yeah.
Hey, Margot.
Hey, what what did he say to you back there? He said, "Welcome back, Martian.
" Martian? Let's go home.
Margot.
No, I want to know.
[tense music] [unsettling music] [tense dramatic music] [solemn percussion] [laughter] [laughter continues] [laughing] [laughing] [laughing] Jules: Margot! Can you hear me? [laughing] [latch clicks] Jules: Margot! Margot! [tense music] [gentle piano music] And I was supposed to be home by ten, but I wasn't.
I always just think, like, if I had actually just been home by ten, maybe [static crackles] [wind whooshing] [latch clicks] [door creaks] [door closes, lock clicks] [lock clicks] - [yells] - Ha-ha! I win! - I have water in my ears! - Which one? Dad, we get it.
Don't stop! Cool.
Thanks, guys.
- Okay, throw me high.
- Ready, ready? [yells] Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
How are you? [laughter] I better clean up before dinner.
What's the first rule of the pool? - Don't go in by myself.
- That's right, that's right.
What's the second rule of the pool? - Don't run by the pool.
- [laughs] You're so smart! Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
[laughing] You're so smart.
Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- Cream and sugar? - [laughs] Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- Cream and sugar? - How are you? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- Cream and sugar? - How are you? - [yelling] - [laughing] Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there.
Hello there, Margot.
- How are you? - Cream and sugar? Hello there, Margot.
How are you? - Cream and sugar? - Hello there, Margot.
How are you? [screams] [rasping] [tense music] [grunting] [muttering] [screaming] [grunting] No no, no! [intense rock music] [grunting] [rasping] I want to go home! I want to go home! You have to go through to go home.
[groans] both: One, two, three.
You really think they would have left before us? I don't know.
God, it's almost dawn.
What time did we get here? I don't know how much time really went by.
Okay.
[engine sputters] Are you serious right now? [gentle music] Hey, um, I know I don't really ask because I just figure if you wanted to bring it up, you'd bring it up, um and I know it's been more than a year and everything, but sometimes I just wonder how you're doing with everything.
How are you doing? I'm okay.
You wanna just crash here? Oh, yeah, I got some clothes in my car.
Walk of shame backup.
Nice.
What shame? [soft dramatic music] [whistling] [whistling] Hey, Martian.
How was your night? Dad?