Charmed (2018) s01e13 Episode Script

Manic Pixie Nightmare

1 Previously on Charmed I summon the one who brought me back.
I have demon blood in me.
- You gonna be mad at me forever? - Maybe.
You lied to me and sold me and my sisters out to your sociopathic demon father.
MACY: I'll help you find a way to take the demon out of Parker.
But you will find a way to take the demon out of me.
[PHONE PINGS] MAN: How can it be that we just met? I am utterly captivated by you, Chloe.
So does that mean you're in? If you mean into you, the answer's hells yeah.
[GIGGLES] I'm talking about the road trip? The cross-country pie tasting tour? I can't drop out now.
Not when I'm finally ready to finish my film.
Don't you see? You've inspired me.
- When I'm with you - [SIGHS] I feel like I can do anything.
That's because you can do anything, Judd.
Out on the moonlit floor Even fly.
[GIGGLES] Come on.
Let's do it.
- [LAUGHING]: Yeah? - Okay.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? I need to talk to you.
Look, just because I don't hate you doesn't mean We can be together.
That's not why I'm here.
Why are you inviting me to a party, then? It's a memorial service.
For this guy Judd in my film class.
Judd and this girl he was dating jumped off the old Mill Building into the river yesterday.
Oh, my God.
His body washed up this morning.
Hers hasn't been found yet.
- Was this like, a suicide pact? - That's actually why I'm here.
There was something off about it.
Judd was livestreaming when he jumped and his phone caught something weird after he - Landed.
- Weird like? I don't know, it was like a glowing light floating up.
People were talking about it in class.
It sounded supernatural.
Well, um, thanks for the information.
- See you later.
- See you.
HARRY: He may well be right.
This could be a demon attack.
Harry, you scared the crap out of me.
Isn't it time for you to move out? Again? I mean, you're all healed from Tartarus; it would be nice to have our attic back.
I beg your pardon? I don't recall you complaining while enjoying your homemade breakfast of vegan sausage, not that a vegan sausage has any business calling themself a sausage.
As I was saying, we need to investigate this.
You think this could be legit? Not just Parker's excuse to see me? Why do you ask? I just don't want to waste our time.
Maggie, need I remind you he is half demon? Like that's something I'd forget.
Though Parker has been quite helpful of late, I admit.
Perhaps his human side is growing stronger.
That's a thing that could happen? Theoretically.
Alert your sisters straightaway.
We need to make sure we're at this memorial screening of Judd's unfinished film.
"Woke, or: The Journey of a Straight White Male Ally.
" Oh, good God.
[EXHALES] Never speak ill of the dead.
It's not working.
Cells go into a temporary hyperdrive after a resuscitation occurs.
If we're lucky, the mouse cells will destroy the demonic cells.
What do you see now? MACY: It is working.
It's killing Parker's demon cells.
It's great news.
For Parker.
How can it be I don't have any demon cells to test when we know I have demon blood in me? Parker's demon nature is genetic.
Yours was introduced into your blood cell like, uh, an infection.
We'll figure it out.
In the meantime, I can distill a serum from the mouse cells and try it out on Parker.
It may help suppress his demon powers in the short term.
What's wrong? [EXHALES] Oh, you know.
It's just that thing where you have demon blood in you and one of the world's foremost scientific minds can't find a way to get it out.
Well, at least you still got your sense of humor.
[CHUCKLES] Look, we're gonna figure this out.
I'm here for you.
Hmm? Thanks.
I wish I could say that gave me hope.
But I can't see a way through it right now.
- - JADA: "Potential demon sitch"? What? You're gonna keep your Charmed business secret from me? I'll tell you what.
I will tell you my Charmed business if you tell me who the Sarcana broke out of Tartarus.
You know I can't do that.
I came clean about being undercover.
- It's not just up to me.
- I know.
But I should go, though.
"Potential demon sitch.
" Do you have an extra toothbrush I can borrow? You could use mine.
Maybe I should leave one here.
Everybody get Are we at the toothbrush point? I think I can do a toothbrush.
Everybody get up, everybody get up Done being down Get up, get up [VOCALIZING] Get up, get up.
So, if you're not sleeping with Niko, then why'd you come home with sex hair? - Maggie, drop it.
- [GASPS] - Jada.
[SCOFFS] - [GASPS] - You're sleeping with Jada.
- Boundaries.
MAGGIE: Have you lost your mind? You're supposed to be on an undercover mission.
Wait, is it part of the undercover mission? - No.
- Mel, you're gonna let sex brain cloud your judgment about the Sarcana.
My judgment isn't clouded.
And can we please change the subject, because Meghan Markle.
- Oh, Harry.
- Hmm.
Look at you, pulling off artsy.
Oh, why, thank you.
I am incognito.
Right, now, come on, ladies.
Let's get to work.
Based on my preliminary research, my guess is some kind of hobgoblin.
There's one that blinds you with its glowing orb and disorients you into sacrificing your soul.
They tend to be young males favoring distinctive headwear.
- Oh, God.
- [MAGGIE CHUCKLES] HARRY: We've got our work cut out for us.
[GLASS CLINKING] I'll never forget all those great times Judd and I had talking about what bowling represented in Lebowski.
He was so deep.
To Judd.
GUESTS: To Judd.
- [APPLAUSE] - [MAN WHOOPS] Now, now, never speak ill of the dead.
[INHALES SHARPLY] - Hey, guys.
- Oh.
Parker, I I [CHUCKLES] forgot you were gonna be here.
- I invited you guys, remember? - Yeah.
So, listen.
That's Noah.
The guy who told me about the weird light on the livestream.
The guy with the soul patch - and ironic 90's boy band tee? - No.
The guy with the fedora and the handlebar mustache.
You should talk to him.
MACY: I don't even need your boundary-violating empath powers to know that you are still into Parker.
Th-That's crazy, why would you say that? Because you're staring at him like you're on a hunger strike and he's a human-sized bag of cheese puffs.
MAGGIE: It doesn't matter.
He's a demon.
Ooh, uh, half-demon.
I just, I-I can't get over how we met.
And how he lied and used me.
So every time he comes to rescue me, I it just reminds me of how weak and stupid he made me feel.
Fair enough.
Come on.
Let's go find Noah.
So how long had Judd been working on this masterpiece? ZACK: Uh, this was, like, three days.
So a lot of time, yeah.
I didn't know Judd that well.
I was more of a Fan.
Is that how he and Chloe started dating? She was drawn to his Talent? I guess they were dating.
Um, but it must have been new.
Last I heard, she was with this guy, Peter, who dropped the class.
So she was a film school groupie? She wasn't a student.
I think she was a dog walker? Or wait.
She owned a cupcake shop.
And she made her own candles.
No one knew her that well.
MACY: I just can't believe - Judd.
- Judd, uh Really jumped.
Especially since he had so much to live for.
You know, like, finishing his masterpiece.
NOAH: I completely agree.
It makes no sense.
He was a shoo-in to get into the advanced seminar next semester.
Aronofsky was gonna guest lecture, he'd never give that up.
Uh I heard this rumor that someone saw the livestream of them jumping.
That was me.
- Oh, my gosh.
- You're kidding.
Well, what did you see? I think Chloe had him on drugs, or something, they looked like they were trying to fly.
- And this weird light floated up.
- Uh A weird light? What do you mean? If I believed in the soul, I'd think it was his.
Floating up to Nirvana, man.
I've got a screenshot if you want to see it.
Yeah, we want to see.
Because, I mean, if that really was his soul, that would be, like, whoa.
Meet me outside in ten.
I've got to get my phone from the car.
Just started a tech cleanse.
[LAUGHS] Okay, uh, I'll grab Harry, you grab Mel, we meet up outside.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, uh, time to go.
Isn't it sad how addicted to our screens we are? Here.
Let me take that phone from you.
Chloe, you're alive? Do you want to feel alive, too? Let's go splash in puddles right in the middle of the street.
That's a great idea.
[BOTH LAUGHING] He said he was going out to his car.
Could that be her? MEL: What kind of demon uses MAGGIE: Body glitter? Noah is in a coma and expected to recover.
The protection spell I added to his IV should immunize him against a further attack.
Now we need to figure out exactly what kind of attack we're dealing with.
This luminescent residue seems to act as a pheromone.
Is that consistent with the hobgoblin you mentioned? No.
That sounds like pixie dust.
MAGGIE: Did you say pixie dust? - A pixie killed Judd and Chloe? - Wait.
No, no, Chloe's the pixie.
She killed Judd.
I mean - Hello, body glitter.
- HARRY: Maggie's right.
And Chloe's body was never found.
That bright light we all saw was her fleeing the scene, but it's strange.
Pixies are known to be the most benevolent and kind of all magical creatures, and everything there is to know about them is in here.
Pixies use their magical dust to spread whimsy and inspiration.
They live in the world as a certain type of winsome young woman.
Etsy and Pinterest are filled with pixies, and they're responsible for many of the things that bring us joy: butterflies, ladybirds, wishing upon a star, the smell of rain, Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch, the flower baby's breath, all from pixies! Now, let us join hands and [SINGING]: Sing this next part.
Yes, and as witches, you three are immune, as are all demons.
But evidently not Whitelighters.
The stuff is utterly infectious.
Why would a pixie kill someone? Well, it's up to us to figure that out.
I'll shadow Noah at the hospital in case Chloe shows up again - to finish the job.
- I'll test this residue at work tomorrow to identify the pheromone and see if I can figure out what kind of pixie it is, because I'm guessing there are Hundreds, yes.
You could see if Parker has any other ideas? We don't need Parker.
I will check Noah and Judd's social medias and see if we can track down Chloe that way.
And I will plow through this to see if there's some way to lure a pixie.
What are you doing here? We're just about to See each other at work.
Look, I've been thinking about your demon thing.
I might have a way to help you out.
Galvin, that's sweet, but I remembered something.
See, my grandme, she used to tell me this bedtime story.
I thought it was something that she made up, but now I'm thinking maybe not.
It was about a woman she knew who had the ibi in her.
- The ibi? - Yeah, she said this woman came to her after a failed exorcism because my grandme knew the Chiriji who could get the ibi out.
Uh, "Chiriji" is Means "surgeon.
" All right, um, I think maybe we should talk to my grandme about it.
You want us to talk to your dead grandmother? I know it sounds crazy, but, um, I found someone online who might be able - to help us reach her.
- Mama Roz? Yeah, yeah, we-we go way back.
Um, hm I don't know about that.
Aw, come on, don't push me away.
Let me help.
We're past that now, aren't we? - Hmm? - Yes.
I'll drive.
MAGGIE: Mystery solved! You're welcome.
I figured out who Chloe's targeting.
Wait, hold on.
Harry? No sign of Chloe at the hospital.
Please tell me the two of you have a lead.
I do.
Chloe's targeting white guys.
Well, that really narrows it down.
It does, though.
It's white guys in the film department; specifically, World Cinema 201.
Look, based on my cross-referencing across all social media platforms, Chloe's been in contact with three other white guys who recently dropped the course.
Peter, that guy you heard about, this guy Freddie "Met this magical girl.
" Shortly after, he changed his Facebook status to an Emerson quote: "In the presence of nature, "a wild delight runs through the man.
" Which led me to his Tumblr, where I learned that he dropped out of school last week to walk the Appalachian Trail.
Well, that does sound consistent with a pixie's influence.
The other guy is Troy, who dropped film to create his own major: "Living Your Best Life.
" MEL: Aw, they were right.
It really is hard to be a white guy these days.
Let's not go that far.
MAGGIE: There are only two left in the class.
This guy Zack He was giving that super pretentious toast at The Haunt.
And Parker, but you said demons are immun so Warn him just in case, then find Zack and dose him with the protection spell.
I'll get back to the hospital.
We still need to work out a way to stop Chloe.
She's dangerous.
[SIGHS] [PHONE CHIMES] - - Hey, Parker.
[LAUGHS] - Cute puppy.
- Oh! His name's Eggers, as in Dave Eggers, the writer.
Reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius changed my life.
[CHUCKLES] You can pet him.
I always wanted a Golden Retriever when I was a kid.
Oh, I know.
I watched your short film.
Do you want to take him on a walk with me? [LAUGHS] Come on.
Hey, there's Zack.
Let's go.
A splash of Harry's protection potion.
That should do it.
Unfortunately, there's no way to protect him from terrible taste in man jewelry.
I'm sure it's a metaphor for something we're not possibly deep enough to understand.
Come on, let's go.
- She says it's urgent.
- Ugh, fine, go.
I'll let you know if anything happens on the pixie front.
Parker? Parker! Parker! Maggie! Oh, it's so magically random to see you.
Are you skipping? Oh, the question is, why aren't you skipping? Don't you remember that feeling when we were kids, our bodies light as air, skipping along without a care? - [GASPS] I made a rhyme! - Oh, crap.
Parker, you're on pixie dust.
But you're half demon, Harry said you'd be immune.
Oh, so random you should ask.
My mom's been working on this experimental treatment to suppress my demon powers.
- She is? - Yeppers! And I guess it's working.
Yay! Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be chasing my puppy dog.
MAGGIE: Parker, no! [BUS HONKING] [BARKS] Look at me, look at me.
You don't want to do this, and that is not your puppy dog.
That's a good boy! MAGGIE: Parker, stay with me.
Snap the hell out of it.
A pixie's trying to kill you with her body glitter.
What's going on? It worked.
I broke the spell with my powers.
What just happened, and why am I so tired? I just saved your ass, and I'm guessing you're in whimsy withdrawal.
Drink this and go take a nap.
JADA: Thanks for coming.
I shouldn't have made it sound urgent.
It's just family BS.
Y-Your detective-ex called to tell me my parents want to meet up.
Oh, wow, and you don't want to see them? I don't know what I want.
I mean, they think I'm in a cult, and they don't know I'm a witch.
I was adopted.
I was really close to my family, too.
Then I discovered my powers.
It freaked me out.
I didn't tell them.
How could they ever understand? I was messed up for a while.
Did a lot of drugs, acted crazy, and then I ran away.
The Sarcana's what saved me.
I'm really sorry, Jada.
So, um, I was wondering want to meet the parents? Oh, no, never mind.
I get it.
Forget I asked.
I warned you to leave him be.
We need your help.
Have you heard of the Chiriji? Chil'! Do you take me for an amateur? Of course Mama Roz is familiar with the purveyor of the ancient blood ritual to cast out the ibi.
That's great.
So how do we perform the ritual? [CLEARS THROAT] Mama Roz never said she knows how to perform the ritual.
It's a very few that possess this knowledge.
And my late grandmother was one of them.
Then let us seek her counsel from the great beyond.
Beloved who has crossed over to the spirit realm, reveal thyself.
Close your eyes if you want to talk to your grandmother.
Spirit, reveal thyself.
I command you, spirit, in the name of your grandson.
[SCREAMS] What do we do? We wait.
[GASPS] Oh, no [SCREAMS] - [CHOKING] - [GRUNTS] No! Galvin! [CHUCKLES] GRANDME: You are letting your heart lead you astray with a woman who's got the ibi in her.
She wants to get rid of it, and I want to help her.
I know you know how.
GRANDME: Only the Chiriji knows how to perform the ritual.
He trusts no one.
He trusted me.
Well, I'm your family, he'll trust me, too.
GRANDME: Yes, but he will devise a series of tests.
If you fail, it will cost you your life.
Did he test you? GRANDME: Indeed, he did.
Didn't you always wonder how I lost my finger? [GALVIN GRUNTING] Galvin, can you hear me? Help him! Galvin, please.
Are you all right? I know how to help you now.
I told him absolutely not.
Why not? Unless you want to turn into a demon? Of course not.
It's just too dangerous.
He has to find some agoraphobic shaman on an uncharted island and prove he can face evil.
His grandmother did it and lost a finger.
No, Dr.
Julia and I can figure it out, and I don't want him to feel like he has to save me, you should understand that.
You don't like it when Parker swoops in and saves you.
That's different.
He's a demon.
Not at the moment.
Well, you said his mom's dead mouse serum is gonna wear off any minute.
Look at this, it's a Pixie Trap.
"Pixies are lured by all things sweet, "shiny objects, treacly treats, "jingling, jangling sounds of cheer, "will bring you a pixie all 'round the year.
" Drop the scones, ladies.
We have a trap to set.
["MAGNIFIQUE" BY JUNIORE PLAYS] That should do it.
If the trap doesn't get her, the sugar coma will.
I think we're good.
Now, the spell.
It says we just giggle.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
In delight.
- [GIGGLING] - [CHORTLING] I'd say that-that was more of a chortle.
[LAUGHTER] - [BELLS TINKLING] - HARRY: Shh, shh, shh! - [WHISPERING]: Shh, she's coming.
- [ALL GIGGLING] - HARRY: Got her.
- MEL: That's her.
No way, it worked.
HARRY: Be careful, she's dangerous.
[CHLOE GIGGLING] - [GASPS] - You're the Charmed Ones! Oh, wow, that's so random.
[GIGGLES] Why would you trap me? I'm good.
Actually, no.
You killed a guy.
[GASPS] Cookies! I was just doing what I was told.
MAGGIE: What you were told? - MACY: By who? - [CHLOE GIGGLES] The one who stole my heart, that's who.
I do what it takes to help him live his best life 'cause he deserves it, guys.
Wait! Epic idea! You know what would be next-level amazeballs? Steal that big old book over there and get me out of here, 'kay? [GIGGLES] - [CHUCKLES] - Harry.
MEL: Harry, what are you doing? [GIGGLES] Oh.
MAGGIE: Oh, no, they're gone.
[GASPS] I've had enough whimsy to last a lifetime.
Anything on this page? We've got to figure out where Chloe took Harry.
And the Book of Shadows.
Who knows what Tinker-hell will do with them.
MEL: Chloe said she was doing what she was told by some guy who has her heart.
She probably took the Book and Harry to him.
If only we could figure out who she was in love with.
Wait, what if Chloe wasn't being a drama queen when she said this guy stole her heart? What if he actually stole it? I-It says here "Woodland Pixies have an external heart.
" "If someone takes it, they lose all sense of self, "existing only to please that person, becoming one-dimensional "with a single, obsessive purpose.
" Oh, my God, she becomes a literal Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
"A Woodland Pixie's heart resembles an acorn"? Aw.
[GIGGLES] That's cute.
MEL AND MAGGIE: Zack's man-jewelry! Hey, Har, you know what would be, like, so random? If you found a spell in this book that made Zack, like, the greatest filmmaker who ever lived? [GIGGLES] There we are.
- A wish-fulfillment spell.
- Oh.
- Works for me.
- [GIGGLES] But it requires a dark sacrifice.
The lifeblood of a magical being.
Like a pixie? Or - A Whitelighter? - Oh, yes.
Either would do.
But then again, I do have more blood.
[ALL GIGGLING] And Parker's sure he's gonna be here? Yeah, Zack works the afterhour shifts in the archives every night.
- PARKER: Hey, guys.
- Parker.
We're okay; you don't even have your powers.
Serum's worn off, I can No, I don't need you constantly swooping in - to rescue me, I mean us.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't swoop.
- When have I ever swooped? - You swoop, you definitely swoop.
Macy, I wouldn't do that, there's an alarm.
Disabled the alarm.
- Sorry for swooping past you.
- Fine.
We're down a Whitelighter.
I guess you can assist us.
Sorry, Har.
At least your death won't be in vain.
[GIGGLES] Not at all.
It's gonna make me into - the next reat American filmmaker.
- MEL: Zack, stop.
ZACK: Was that - supposed to do something, or? - [CHLOE AND HARRY LAUGH] MEL: The protection spell.
It's protecting him from our magic.
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Chloe, destroy them.
And make the Whitelighter keep my Book safe.
- Hey, Har.
[GIGGLES] - Mm-hmm? - Here's the Book.
- Oh.
How about a fanciful game of keepaway? - [GIGGLES] - [LAUGHS] [CHLOE GIGGLING] I'll handle Chloe.
Parker and I will get the Book.
I think I can sober Harry up with my powers.
Then the wannabe-Tarantino is mine.
No, your powers won't work.
He's a whiny film student who forces a fairy to do his dirty work.
I can handle him.
- Hi, Har.
- Hey, Harry.
[GIGGLES] [GASPS, GIGGLES] You overgrown lightning bug.
London Bridge is falling down No, no, no.
Hold still, Har.
- Falling down, falling down - No, no Oh [LAUGHS] London Bridge is falling down [BOTH PANTING] Was I this annoying on pixie dust? No, you were even worse.
It's time to retire the manic pixie dream girl trope and, you know, murdering people.
It was all Chloe.
She's crazy.
She's, she's Zack, stop.
Now hand over that acorn.
[GRUNTING]: No, no.
No! Girl, you should loosen up and smile more.
Boys like that.
- My fair lady.
- I got him.
MAGGIE: Harry, you're under the pixie spell.
Come back to us.
Chloe, I have your heart.
Don't let Zack get away.
[GIGGLES] I can't let you leave, Zack.
[GIGGLES] And that's a wrap on Zack.
He's sleeping off the whimsy.
You're waiting for me to tell you what to do.
Okay, Chloe, tell us what happened.
Oh, geez.
Well, I was living my best life, working at my pop-up cupcake kiosk, a little dog-walking on the side, I like to knit.
And then Zack trapped me.
He'd found a Pixionary at an occult shop.
He set it up and I was the unlucky pixie that walked right into it.
[GIGGLES] The Pixionary told him he could steal my heart, so he ripped off my acorn, and I was his.
He said he wanted to get into that film seminar, but he was convinced that they'd only pick one white guy.
I think it's really hard being a white guy nowadays.
- That's not a thing.
- That's He's delusional.
I didn't want to do all those bad things, but I couldn't say no.
So can I have my heart back? MEL: Of course, Chloe.
Go live your own best life.
[CHLOE GIGGLES] Oh [CRYING] Oh, no Oh, how can I live with myself? I killed somebody.
Oh, Chloe, it-it wasn't your fault.
He stole your agency.
He is responsible.
I have to make sure something like this never happens again.
We use something called the Power of Three to make us stronger.
Maybe you and the other pixies could - Team up? - And organize.
Figure out where to hide those hearts of yours.
- Team up.
- Yeah.
I like that.
Thank you.
Consequences now.
It is so.
I killed Judd, and when Noah found out, I pushed him into traffic.
All because I'm a spoiled douche with an inferiority complex.
Good job.
Now you're gonna march down to the police station and tell them exactly that, except for the last sentence.
A little too on the nose.
What the hell was that? It's a Sarcana hex.
Jada and I used it a few weeks ago on some creepy dude who roofied women at The Haunt.
You've done this before? Mel, hexing humans is against the rules.
How can you be sure Jada's on our side? All I know is that she hasn't given me a reason not to trust her.
Hey, Parker, wait up.
I was wondering where you went - last night.
- Hey.
Hey, you found the puppy.
I think I'm gonna keep him as the Phi Delt mascot.
I always wanted a puppy.
My dad wasn't into pets, as you can imagine, but I just wanted to be normal.
Oh, that's so sweet.
And human.
I hope I don't regret this.
Regret what? And I'll run to you When the waters rise And I'll run to you If the bombs ignite MAGGIE: I rescue him, and he rescues me right back.
I don't feel weak anymore.
Someone's been watching Pretty Woman again.
And I'll fall for you if you need a fight You're not scared? Of Parker's demon side.
You kidding? I'm terrified.
But you took him back.
Yeah, well Being in love is always scary.
They could cheat on you, break up with you.
Give in to their demon side.
- What can you do? - And I'll run to you When the waters rise If you really want to go and do this, I won't stop you.
Even though I'm scared.
I'll still call to you I'm scared you might get hurt.
- When I lose my sight - I'm scared of getting hurt, too.
But it's worth it to me to try, because I love you.
You do? Mm-hmm.
And I'll fall for you if you need a fight And I'll run to you When the waters rise And I'll run to you If the bombs ignite.
- And you're sure you're ready? - Mm.
Meeting the parents, that's a big deal.
I'm ready.
- I'm sorry I freaked out a little.
- Mm.
And I'm here, no matter what happens.
Okay? Okay.
They're your parents.
There's nothing to be scared of.