Charmed (2018) s03e05 Episode Script

Yew Do You

1 Previously on Charmed - [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES.]
It's just my luck.
I finally get together with the woman of my dreams only for her to become allergic to me.
And my sisters, and every other magical being on Earth.
MAGGIE: I can't get a word in edgewise without being spoken over by Antonio.
Can I please finish my damn sentence?! And I would like to be considered for the research internship.
You do know it's extremely competitive? Well, then, may the best woman win.
MEL: I can't even teach the book I want to teach.
ELDON: Adding a new book once the curriculum has been set, well, it just doesn't work like that.
HARRY: When Macy and I did a revelation spell on her allergy, it led us straight to this stone tablet.
The trick is finding a way to translate those symbols.
They're unlike anything I've ever seen.
Some sort of ancient hieroglyphs.
MACY: That monster left a symbol behind, like the ones on that tablet.
The allergy is connected to that creature, and the symbols on that tablet may hold the key to everything.
Hey, Jason, If they make you buy something to use the bathroom Strawberry kiwi pop and an iced frappe with mocha? Thanks.
Back in a flash.
Oh, what'd you forget? Can I help you? Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
What the hell? [TIRES SCREECHING.]
I'm too hot, ready to roll And I got two shots, lockin' and loadin' No, I won't stop, I'm taking control INSTRUCTOR: Use the body, use the body.
Word of mouth, yeah, they're talking about me daily Dirty dancing in the park like Swayze - All in, I'm-a get what I want - INSTRUCTOR: Down, down, up.
Straight up, show me what you got Got a wild style I'm a wild child, running through the city With the windows down, got a wild style MAN: Your project is due in a week.
In a week.
One week.
INSTRUCTOR: Catch your breath.
Two shots, lockin' and loadin' No, I won't stop, I'm taking control Try to box me in, and now I'm rockin' and rollin' MAN: Your project is due in a week.
And I got two shots, lockin' and loadin' No, I won't stop, I'm taking control INSTRUCTOR: Drive and kick and I'm-a leave 'em in my dust, no lie 'Cause you ain't me and I'm on fire Shake that, out of control INSTRUCTOR: Really hit it.
That's what it's for! [PANTING.]
MACY: It's gibberish, Harry.
- Not exactly.
- Might as well be.
I mean, whatever language is on this tablet, - it's been dead and buried for eons.
- Well, perhaps.
But that tablet is the best clue we have right now.
It likely contains a history of our mysterious Chupa-Alma monster and how it connects to your magical allergy.
We just need to decipher it.
Yeah, but we can't exactly pop it into Google.
Which is why I scoured the Web for prehistoric drawings, and came up with this.
Harry, that looks exactly like Our mystery monster.
I would hug and kiss you if I could.
Uh, where's this from? The Kvikindi Ruins in Norway.
And the markings appear to be some kind of ancient language which predates cuneiform tablets by thousands of years.
So, uh, all we need to do is figure out a way to decipher an ancient language that nobody's ever heard of.
: Oh, my God! MEL: Guys, get down here! - [EXHALES.]
- What? Mel, what's going on? There is this insane viral video on DirtDish.
Seriously? That's why you screamed? - You scared the crap out of us.
- This is scary.
Trust me.
Check out Crazy Car Lady on DirtDish.
HARRY: DirtDish? Is that some sort of - New app? - Where every dance video is posted.
Along with "news of the weird.
" I'll pass, thank you very much.
Har, you've got to keep up with the times if you're gonna date a younger woman.
- Right.
- MAGGIE: Whoa.
She Ran over her boyfriend and walked away.
That's cold.
I mean, I've wanted to run over boyfriends before, but Mepte ama.
- Mepte ama.
- You expecting anyone? - No.
- I'll-I'll go get it.
Macy Vaughn? - Yes.
- Gloria Lee, attorney on behalf of the Shea Group.
May I come in? Sure.
My office sent you a notice of Julian Shea's probate hearing.
No, I-I didn't get a notice.
I see.
Well, no matter.
I was required by law to locate you and notify you.
Notify me of what? Congratulations, Ms.
You've inherited SafeSpace.
Time You ruined all my Saturday nights MACY: I mean, I guess it's thoughtful and helpful for Julian to leave me SafeSpace.
We get permanent access to the command center for as long as we need it.
But my focus really has to be on finding a cure for the allergy.
It's our priority, Mel.
- We can't keep going on like this.
- I know, but if there's anyone who can simultaneously find a cure for our allergy and run a business, it's you.
And who knows, you may end up liking it.
SWAN: Congratulations! I am so happy for you! For us.
We've been waiting for weeks for the new owner of SafeSpace to be named, and it's you! As you know, there is so much work to be done.
- There is? - Oh, yeah.
Huge backlog.
First, there's the issue with the kombucha keg distributor.
They've jacked up their prices on the Namaste Nectarine.
Then there's the Goat Yoga and the Dog Yoga people, who do not get along.
But the bigger problem, TBH, is the health inspector.
- Swan - And most important, the corner unit on the first floor is empty, and we've got a dozen applicants Yeah, Swan? Why don't you shoot me a text of everything that's pending, and I will take a look at it when I get a chance, okay? Okay.
So, today, instead of going to Norway with Harry to help decipher the tablet, or continuing my research on the cure, I [SIGHS.]
I have to look through this stack of legal documents and worry about which kombucha to serve at happy hour.
Wha What's wrong? I just got a text from my dean.
She wants to meet with me.
- JORDAN: Hello? HARRY: In here.
Come on through.
I'm not late, am I? Not late, but a bit overdressed.
The tie.
It's for tomorrow.
Law firm cocktail party with the head honchos.
You know how to tie a Windsor knot? They're kind of old-school.
Thought you might be the right person to ask.
Why? 'Cause I'm the "oldest school" you know? What? Nothing.
Let me have a look.
Start with the wide end on the right, small end on the left.
And then like so.
Dunhill & Moore, number one law firm in Seattle.
Got to dress for success.
Got it.
Thanks, Har.
Are you sure you want to come along? Even though this site was abandoned centuries ago, there is always some degree of danger.
Not to mention the reindeer dung.
Still chipping away at that curse.
That's plenty dangerous.
Abby's book was kind of a bust.
It turns out Witches don't like strangers showing up out of nowhere, like a bad boyfriend, telling them they can save them.
Yeah, I can imagine.
Not only will there be reindeer excretions, we may have to contort ourselves to avoid some dusty booby traps.
The Vikings had quite a sense of humor.
- You ready? - Su ELDON: I thought we had an understanding, Mel.
You can't just Willy-nilly change the syllabus in violation of department rules.
I agree, Rebecca.
But I didn't violate the rules, per Se.
I'm teaching Maya Guzman's book as extra credit, and therefore it's not technically a part of the syllabus.
Ah, I see.
The truth is, this book has really been eye-opening for some of the students.
I've seen a real change in their behavior.
Your passion is admirable, Mel.
I like it and I respect it, and I agree this is extremely important subject matter.
Thank you.
Which is why You should be using a more established text, not some trendy new author, don't you think? What's this? It's a book that's been vetted by the administration, and because it was part of the curriculum before, I'm sure that we can just push it through.
"Implicit Recognition "or Recognition Without Awareness.
" "Theoretical Understanding, Inspiration "and Empirical Practice in Rehab Psychology"? What? Hard at work, or hardly working? Oh.
Hey, Antonio.
You got your internship topic yet? I Narrowed it down to a few ideas.
- You? - I'm all in on IGD.
I IGD? Intergroup dialogue between diverse populations of students.
How small group interventions can bring about critical awareness of social systems and promote social justice.
Wow, that [CHUCKLES.]
Sounds amazing, actually.
Oh, my God! Oh, yeah, there's all these Crazy Car Lady copycats out there now.
Textbook mass hysteria.
Hey, Mags.
I just had the weirdest meeting with Dean Eldon.
- Weirder than this? - MAN [ON VIDEO.]
: Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
More people like the gas station lady.
A woman pushes her boyfriend off a hiking trail.
A man pushes his husband into oncoming traffic.
People hurting the ones they love.
These people are saying something.
- Mepte ama.
Mepte ama - The same something.
Like they're in a trance.
I don't think this is mass hysteria, Mel.
I think this is magic.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama And they're all saying this? MEL: According to news reports, yes.
They've chalked it up to copycat crimes, but Something's not tracking.
Uh, I've seen these words before.
I've read The Book of Elders cover to cover, looking for clues to help solve our allergy.
And I could swear There it is.
Mepte ama.
What does it mean? Well, in early Latin "ama" means "love.
" It's obviously an ancient language.
Okay, and what about "mepte"? Whoa, look at this There's are all these conspiracy theories out there that this is some sort of alien mind control.
This one guy has been mapping out all the events.
Oh, my God, he's got 50,000 subscribers.
Well, we know the government's lied to us for years, just like they're lying to us right now.
Using the #CrazyCarLady, I tracked the copycats on Twitter and made a real-time map of their locations.
We need to capture these aliens.
And destroy them! Oh, my God.
These people are still out there and they're in danger.
We need to find them and stop this, before it gets more out of hand.
So "Crazy Car Lady" is patient zero, right, so let's start with her.
She walked away from the crime.
No one's seen her since.
Mags, can you get a vision to find her? Yeah, I can try, but I'd have to go back to the scene of the crime.
That gas station outside of Vancouver? [PHONE CHIMES.]
Damn it.
Office hours, mandatory.
And I'm already in hot water with the dean.
It's okay.
We got this.
Somewhere here the history of this mystery monster exists.
JORDAN: What are we looking for? HARRY: Well Some of these symbols must match the tablet.
Are you sure it's okay to walk on these stones? No.
But it's trial and error.
So far, no error.
Okay, not entirely encouraging.
But You have experience with all this ancient stuff, so Why, because I'm a relic? What? What's eating you, Harry? If anyone makes another crack about my age Oh! [HARRY GROANING.]
Ah, my back I pulled it, I think You got to bend at the knees.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We're good.
Are you good? You seem a little prickly.
It's just I never really considered the age difference between Macy and myself.
But Every day these little Microaggressions? well, reminders, rear their ugly little heads.
Well Whitelighters, they don't age, right? So eventually She'll catch up to you.
She'll even surpass you.
You'll be wheeling her around with a drool cup around her chin, so there! [LAUGHS.]
Anyway you just got to do you Har.
Macy loves you for you.
Windsor knots and all.
That was a stylish tie you had on, by the way.
It's Hermès.
- Really? - Nah! I didn't even know what Hermès was until last week when I overheard one of the partners in the coffee room.
Everyone at this firm went to Harvard or Yale.
I go to Seattle State.
They know each other from private clubs.
I was a private in the Army.
I'm doing my best with this Windsor knot, but It feels kind of like a costume.
So wear what suits you, not what suit suits them.
I'm a six-foot-four Black man at a white-shoe law firm trying to Blend in like the other law clerks.
You shouldn't have to.
You know, they They want you for your intellect.
Not for your Windsor knot.
Here look.
These are the same symbols as the ones on the tablet.
You still got it, Whitelighter.
They're some sort of Proto-Norse language.
What the hell was that? Ancient darts! [GRUNTS.]
Jeez! Can you turn that on silent? Sorry, it's Swan it's the tenth text since this morning.
I've been the proud owner of SafeSpace Seattle for four hours, and I already want to sell it.
I don't know how Julian managed it all.
Well, let's be real.
He didn't he had people who had people.
I'm sure Swan is thrilled to have access to the big cheese.
Well, I don't want to be the big cheese.
I don't want to be any cheese.
Mace, look.
WOMAN: Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Mags, what did you see? She's in there somewhere.
Come on.
2013? This is ancient.
Hey, Mel.
Are you here for office hours? Yes, but I actually don't have a question I have a comment.
I, uh, just wanted to thank you for fighting to bring Maya Guzman's book into this class.
You know Dylan actually apologized to me after our last discussion here.
That's amazing.
Well, it's not amazing It's kind of basic.
But, hey, it's progress.
That it is.
Good night.
Okay, you know, slow down, Mags! Sorry.
I just felt Competent for five minutes and wanted to take advantage of it.
Oh, still no research topic? It's just everything feels so dry and inaccessible.
Naturally, Antonio's got the whole thing sewed up.
He's probably written a treatise and gotten it published already.
Don't let him get inside your head.
I'm trying.
I-I want do something I can relate to, something I'm passionate about, but I just can't find anything that resonates with me.
You think that's a problem? No, I mean, it took me a while to figure out my path in school you know, the thing that was me.
What if I don't find it, you know? - The thing that's me? - [PHONE CHIMES.]
Seriously, Swan, what is it this time? More ice for Margarita Monday? Mace, look.
I saw that in my vision.
" "Julie Hoffman.
" JULIE: Mepte ama Mepte ama mepte ama.
It's coming from here.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Julie? Julie! We're here to help.
- She's in a trance.
Oh, no, I think we have company.
What if it's people looking for the "alien invasion"? God knows what they'll do to her.
We got to get her out of here.
We can't take her back to the command center.
How do we explain who we are, what we are? What are we supposed to do, leave her for the alien police? The real police, for that matter? They're not gonna understand, Macy.
We don't have a choice.
- Mepte ama.
- Okay, okay.
Come on.
I got here as fast as I could.
Any luck? Still hasn't said a word.
Mepte ama, mepte ama.
It's almost like someone else is controlling her.
Oh, it's Swan.
The Shea Group lawyers are here.
They want me to sign these papers.
We got this.
- What's that? - Oh, nothing.
Just the dean's dangerously outdated text which she wants me to teach.
It cites a discredited study claiming that transgender youth "grow out of" their transgender identities.
That's harmful.
Not to mention expensive.
$160 for this BS.
How do you tell the dean you don't want to teach her book without getting fired? Exactly.
That's my study mix.
Mags, look.
She's moving to the music.
Are you as lonely as me? She's mimicking you.
Searching for the one thing Julie? Julie, can you hear me? There have been studies that show that catatonic people respond to music.
Maggie, what's happening? Uh, I don't know.
But whatever it is, we're connecting.
SWAN: Macy.
Thank God.
I wanted to catch you before you went in there.
Of immediate concern, businesses for the rental space.
First, there's Spud Shoes.
They make sandals out of extruded potato products, which is cool, but they need a refrigeration system for their potato peels.
- Uh, Swan? - Ooh.
Then there's La Ley para Gente Free legal clinic, but they can't cover the security deposit or the insurance.
Zappitude is an app developer.
Great financials, but their rep just sent out a social media tweet which I think is more than a little bro-ffensive.
I'm really sorry, but I-I just can't do this right now.
You're right.
We hate bro-ffensive.
We have to take a stand.
No, no, no.
N-None of this matters.
Okay? I have more important things to deal with.
Well, it matters to me.
It's our community.
It's where we work.
And for some of us, it's all we have.
We have an opportunity to do something here with SafeSpace.
If you're not going to carpe diem, then give it to someone who will.
I ain't done yet, you know what I mean I like to break all the pretty stuff MAGGIE: I can feel her.
She's trapped inside there.
MEL: Mags, stop.
This is getting too scary.
It's working.
She wants me to rescue her.
Julie, are you okay? Who are you? Where am I? Hey.
It's okay.
Welcome back.
: Julie.
I-I don't understand.
What is this place? We're, um, archaeologists.
MAGGIE: Yeah, we, uh We study the supernatural.
Well, um, supernatural anomalies.
: Supernatural Anomalies? Yeah.
And this is our office.
Okay, so You don't think I'm crazy? No.
No, not at all.
Just know that we're here to help.
Could you Tell us what happened? Um There was a-a man at-at the gas station.
He was very handsome.
His eyes, they were, um, mesmerizing.
And, um, his his voice.
All I could hear was his voice in my head.
I tried to say my own name to-to fight him off, but he kept telling me to Prove m-my love to him.
- Mepte ama.
- JULIE: Yes.
That-that's what he said.
And then I had to offer him a sacrifice, the thing that I-I love the mo [JASON SCREAMING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Jason.
Where is he? Is he okay? He's in the hospital, but he's in stable condition.
Oh, thank God.
: What? You were writing something on the trees: the letters O-M-O-N.
D-Do you know what that means? Omon.
That was his name.
JORDAN: All right.
It's not pretty right now, but I don't think it's gonna leave a scar.
You in any pain? Harry? I'm sorry I got you into trouble back there.
So you made a mistake.
I'm a Whitelighter.
I was created to protect magical creatures Most directly, the Charmed Ones Yet I can't seem to work out how to help them this time.
Every lead leads nowhere.
Maybe I am a relic.
I've been here since Prohibition.
And you know a hell of a lot more about the world than the rest of us.
Your role as a Whitelighter may be changing, but You're still Harry.
The only one who recognizes ancient languages, uh, heals magical creatures and makes a mean chocolate soufflé.
Mm! It is truly the meanest.
- Macy? - MACY: Harry, it's me.
We need your help.
I'm on my way.
You do you, Har.
That's what the world needs.
You as well, my friend.
Good luck with that Windsor knot.
You sure she said Omon? That's impossible.
Why is that? Omon is a mythological creature that predates civilization as we know it.
No such creature has ever been seen or heard from.
Okay, so what-what does this mean? Well, it means there's nothing in that book that can help us.
The myth of Omon One so old it predates known civilization.
Some say its last iteration served as the basis of Narcissus in Greek mythology.
So Omon is a guy who lives off attention? A creature that gets its life force from the forced devotion of others.
A narcissist in every malevolent way.
Omon's already entranced dozens of people around the world.
We have to stop him.
But how? We can't ignore it, and that's the best way to deal with a narcissist.
Perhaps the Narcissus myth holds the answer.
Myths all repeat the same lessons, tropes, images.
What about him? No, yew, as in the tree.
In the myth of Narcissus, Artemis killed and entranced Narcissus.
And one of her sacred trees is the yew tree.
Its sap is the main ingredient in one of the most virulent poisons in The Book of Elders, the Yew Brew.
MACY: Okay.
Well, since Omon and Narcissus are both based on the same myth, maybe the best way to vanquish Omon is the same way that we would vanquish Narcissus.
You two, g-genius.
Mel was the one who put it all together.
Wisdom about the ancient world doesn't make one a genius.
But it does make you invaluable.
: Oh, my God.
He is recovering really well.
He's gonna be okay, Julie, and so are you.
How can I go back to him? How can I explain wh-what happened when I don't even understand it myself? We can help you.
Julie? Omon.
What about him? He's here.
Hurry, Julie.
We got to get you out of here.
This way, quick.
Where are we going? MAGGIE: There.
Omon is here.
Oh, Maggie's headed to the roof.
Come on.
Sorry, Omon, we're not buying what you're selling.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Whatever you do, don't look at him.
Close your eyes and do not open them.
Harry, get her out of here.
I've got Julie.
Macy, you do Yew.
Mel, Macy, don't look at him or he'll entrance you.
OMON: Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Mepte ama.
Macy! Mepte ama.
Id mehei demuonstra.
Macy, prove your love to me.
Mel, he wants her to sacrifice us to prove her love to him.
Id mehei demuonstra.
Macy, don't listen to him.
Listen to the sound of your own voice! You are Macy.
Say your name! Macy.
: Macy.
- OMON: Mepte ama.
- MEL: Macy.
Macy! Don't listen to him OMON: Id mehei demuonstra.
Prove your love to me.
MEL: Say your name.
Macy, - don't listen to him - OMON: Sacrifice your sisters.
- MEL: Don't listen to him, Macy.
- MAGGIE: You are Macy.
MEL: Macy, stop! You're going to kill us! Macy, don't listen to him.
- MAGGIE: Say your name! You are Macy! - MACY: I am Macy.
I am Macy.
I am Macy.
I am Macy.
I am Macy.
MAGGIE: Macy, help! Macy, we can't hold on! MEL: Macy! [GRUNTS.]
Help us! Oh, my God! [MEL AND MAGGIE PANTING.]
MEL: Macy, throw me the puddle.
Are you guys okay? Ish.
That symbol on the ground It looks like the one the Chupa-Alma left behind.
So those monsters are Related to each other.
The plot thickens.
I'm so sorry.
I got so lost I couldn't hear my own voice.
Thank God you were strong enough to get Omon out of your head.
With your help.
Drowned out his voice and then I could hear you.
My sisters.
And Mel, that was brilliant Turning the potion into a mirror.
I figured if Omon entranced himself, it would destroy him.
It was a gamble, but We're so resourceful in the magical world.
Why is it so hard to find our voices in the real one? Maybe we already have.
We just need to pay attention to them.
Keep on moving up Keep, keep on moving up I can't get enough No, I can't get enough I'm high and I'm flying There's nothing I can't get done I'm rising, I'm climbing Our work is never done Keep on moving up Keep, keep on moving up I can't get enough No, I can't get enough Ooh, Na-na-na Ooh, mm Keep on moving up Keep, keep on moving up I feel it I'm on it Make the earth shake under my feet I need it, I want it I'll show you, just wait and see Keep on moving up Keep, keep on moving up I can't - Hey, Swan.
- OMG! Am I being fired? I'm so sorry.
What? No.
Don't be.
You were right.
I was? Yes.
This is an incredible opportunity to use our voices for good.
To make SafeSpace a safe place for the community.
Really? Really.
And the legal clinic you mentioned the nonprofit Sounds like a perfect place to start to me.
So I was thinking we could rent them the empty office at half price.
I always knew this place could be more than Fiesta Fridays.
And, you know, it-it takes a lot of courage to speak up for what you believe in.
So bravo.
No, I can't get enough [GIGGLES.]
The field of transgender studies, as you know, is a rapidly evolving arena, and your book is eight years old and out of date with the current research.
I see.
But at the time you wrote the book, there weren't as many published transgender voices.
Overcoming the Boundaries of Gender explores intersectional identities and is a lived-in experience by a trans author.
The class is invested in this book, and I'd really like to see it through.
I need it, I want it Very well.
You've made your voice heard.
Keep on moving up Keep, keep on moving up I can't get enough The Effectiveness of Movement Therapy in the Treatment of Adults Suffering from Trauma.
Keep on moving up Since no two people are alike, the ways in which they free themselves from trauma and rediscover their own voice also differ.
Keep, keep on moving up I can't get enough No, I can't get enough Keep on moving up Keep, keep on moving up I can't get enough No, I can't get enough.
How was Julie? Elated.
When she saw Jason and he saw her.
It was It was quite a beautiful reunion.
Made all the more sweet because they don't remember anything? Naturally, I wiped their memories.
So what now, Harry? Well, we know from the revelation spell that these prehistoric symbols on the stone tablet have something to do with your allergy.
And they match the symbols left behind by the Chupa-Alma and Omon.
So, the monsters, the symbols, your allergy It's a it's a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
I mean, where the hell did these extinct creatures even come from? Well, that is the trillion-dollar question.
And until we know the answers, beware.
We're in for some ancient magic, the likes of which we have never seen.

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