Chuck s02e10 Episode Script
Chuck Versus the Delorean
[GIRL SCREAMS.]
[CROWD GASPS.]
GIRL: Ow.
My side.
Oh, no.
Ow.
She's hurt.
Someone call 911.
Stand back, I'm a doctor.
-All right, sweetie.
Okay.
GIRL: Ow.
-Oh, all right.
-My side.
She may have broken some ribs.
Anybody know her parents? I'm gonna take her to the hospital.
Help me get her up.
Okay.
-Easy, easy.
That's it.
It's okay.
-Oh, ow.
WOMAN: Good luck.
That really hurt.
I think I sprained my wrist.
Well, it's just a flesh wound, darling.
I can take you to the hospital or I can get you some rocky road.
The choice is yours.
-Rocky road.
-Ha, ha.
So how much we get? Wanna count it? SARAH: Five and 10 makes 20.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
CHUCK: Hey.
-Long day? -Boring day.
Not sure if it's the excitement you're looking for but, uh, you wanna come over for a fake date with Awesome and Ellie? I promise fake cuddling but real pizza.
I'm sorry, Chuck.
I-- I have plans.
Oh.
Is there a mission? I don't remember getting the memo.
Uh, nope, no mission.
Just plans.
Of course, plans, like any 28-year-old spy with an evening to herself would have.
I'm sorry, Chuck, but it's personal.
CHUCK: Hey.
So, uh, ready for the big mission tonight? -What mission? -You don't have to play games.
You and Sarah, super-secret mission.
There's no mission, moron.
She's taking a personal day.
-I didn't realize we got personal days.
-Well, you don't, we do.
-Any idea what she's up to? -Yep.
-Well? -It's personal.
[ANNA CHUCKLES.]
What do you think you're doing? Giving us a little privacy so we can hook up.
Come here.
-Come on.
-Morgan, no.
I'm sick of hooking up only at work.
I'd love to go someplace else, but where? My mother's always home.
You have three roommates.
-I'm open to suggestions.
-Really? Good.
Here.
The Buena Burbank apartments.
They have really cute one-bedrooms.
-See, I can't afford this.
-We could, together.
We're ready to take the next step.
Wow, we-- That's um-- That's a very big step.
That is not something that you should rush into.
It's something that you should discuss.
I mean, look at this place.
Seventy-two inch plasma, super-comfy couches all the free coffee.
I mean, come on, baby.
We are living the dream.
Whose dream, Morgan? Everyone's.
[MORGAN SIGHS.]
Hey, Chuck, you ever wonder if you're not man enough to hang on to your woman? -I need a Nerd Herd.
-Mm-mm.
No, uh, Emmett found Jeff's underwear on the back seat.
And he's having them all re-upholstered as a safety precaution.
-Morgan, I need to borrow your bike.
-Sure.
-Why? -It's personal.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Plans, huh? How old is this guy? [CELL PHONE BEEPING.]
Let's eat.
Uh, excuse me.
Just a moment.
CHUCK: Yes, I'd like the linguini with the clam sauce, please.
-How did you find me? -The GPS on your watch.
What are you doing here? Look, I'm sorry.
I came for backup only.
I told you, it was personal.
I know, I know, but I flashed.
Look, I'm all for a little time off, and God knows you deserve it.
But you should know the much, much, much older gentleman that you're having dinner with is a bad man.
-Chuck-- -Let me finish.
The guy is a total loser.
Absolute bottom-feeding scum of the earth have I mentioned, considerably older man? All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
Chuck, I'd like you to meet my dad, Jack Burton.
Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
Ahem.
A real pleasure, sir.
Ha.
French toast, whipped cream, fresh strawberries.
-Just how you like them.
-When I was 12.
Oh.
You need to eat something.
Big day at work.
What is it you're doing again? Making milkshakes? -Frozen yogurt.
-Oh.
Sounds stimulating.
-Pays the bills.
-Well, yeah, I can see that.
Very believable.
-What is that supposed to mean? -This place, your job.
Your name, Sarah Walker, that schnook from last night.
-Chippy.
-Chuck.
You're working an angle.
I mean, ha, ha, he's probably the son of some rich Beverly Hills family.
Look, Chuck is my boyfriend, and he makes $12 an hour.
So you stay away from him.
Hey, you don't wanna cut me in, fine.
I don't need his money.
I got my own.
Oh, my God.
It looks like almost a million dollars.
Well, Christmas came a little early.
For you.
No, thanks.
I'm not interested in your stolen money.
That's what you think of your old man? Some two-bit thief? Darling, a thief has to run out of town as fast as he can, but a good con man-- A good con man can leave whenever he wants.
I remember, Dad.
So who donated the money, anyway? A couple months ago, I flew over to Dubai.
You wouldn't believe the kind of money they got there.
Oh.
This particular donation is compliments of Sheik Rajiv Amad.
Amad, the Saudi oil family? My daughter knows her Arabs.
I gotta go to work.
Uh, forgetting something? Have fun at the office.
SARAH: General, in the spirit of full disclosure my father has conned Sheik Rajiv Amad out of nearly a million dollars.
-Hit the big time.
-Give the order and I'll bring him in.
What? You're gonna arrest your own father? -Isnât that a conflict of interest? -Agent Walker's uncomfortable -I'd be happy to make the arrest.
-No one is getting arrested yet.
Amad's been on the CIA's terror watch list for years.
He's suspected of funding terrorist regimes in Afghanistan and Kenya.
We have no recent photos and he goes by many different aliases.
Any information your father could provide about his financial holdings would be valuable intel.
General, my father is unaware of my CIA career.
In fact, I'm not sure he would be all that proud.
No one is asking you to compromise your cover, Agent Walker.
Just talk to your father.
-Take the Intersect with you.
-General, my father-- Your father conned a very connected, very dangerous man.
You better find out how deep he's in before the sheik does.
-Captain Morgan.
-Hey, buddy.
Uh, have you seen Chuck? -Left for work.
What's up? -What's up? Basically, my life is over, that's what's up.
You ready for this? Anna asked me to get an apartment together.
Whoa.
Ha, ha.
Big step, little man.
All right.
I, uh-- I don't know about all right, I.
You know what, man? I just don't think I'm ready for that.
Things are good with us, you know.
Why rock the boat? -Permission to speak freely? -There are no secrets between us.
Would you agree that you have no credit, no life plan, no apartment, no car no adult responsibilities of any kind? On rare occasion, I do my own laundry.
-Time to grow up, Morgan.
-I know.
Here's the thing, this apartment is a lot of dough.
-It'll clear me out-- -Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
A little short on cash? We'll lend it to you.
Don't worry.
Wait a minute.
-You'd do that for me, really? -Yeah.
That's-- That's super cool, man.
-Why? -Because I believe in you.
Consider it an investment in your future.
-Whoa, are you sure about that? -Yes, I'm sure.
You'll pay me back.
Twelve percent interest every week or it goes up two points.
Absolutely.
What does that mean? Twenty five hundred should cover it.
There you go, Morgan.
Welcome to adulthood.
We've been waiting for you.
Sarah was just bluffing with Beckman.
She'd never arrest her own father.
Why not? The guy's a criminal.
Been in and out of jail her whole life.
Yeah, but he seems to care though.
At least he's attempting to have a relationship.
-I don't even know where my own father is.
-Oh, that's sad.
You've confused me with someone that cares about your life before the Intersect.
Good session, buddy.
Really feel like we had breakthrough there.
So long, Chuck.
We had a good run, didn't we? -Stuff of legend.
Where you headed? -Adulthood.
Anna and I are moving in together.
Really? That's fantastic.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Enjoy your youth, Charles.
Enjoy every damn minute of it.
-Dude, have you seen her? -Who? -The hottest piece to come in to this store.
-Not even human, smoking hot.
-Where? -Follow your boys.
Follow your boys.
The 1981 DeLorean DMC.
Only 9000 made.
The exact car from Back to the Future.
Actually, the Back to the Future car had a Porsche engine.
When's it gonna be done? Um, few weeks.
Months, at least.
Hopefully the iPod adapter will help me sell it.
Are you serious? How could you have any trouble selling this treasure? The passenger door doesn't work, the gas mileage is horrible and if it actually goes over 22 miles per hour, it stalls.
Really? -I'll take it.
OWNER: Deal.
Yes.
Good boy.
He's not a schnook.
He's a wonderful, caring, intelligent guy.
Who's a class-A schnook.
You don't wanna cut me in, no problem.
But don't play me for a fool.
This guy has 2200 bucks to his name.
How do you know? I lifted his ATM card last night.
I wanted to check him out because I was worried about you.
-Now that you know he's broke? -Now I'm really worried.
I'm gonna get a cab.
Charlie, there you are.
Hi, good to see you again, Mr.
Burton.
Oh, please, please, Jack.
Nice tie.
Looking sharp, young man.
-Well, I think he's warming up to me.
-Accidentally fell into my father's pocket.
It's okay.
He was just being protective of you.
And after the way I behaved, I can't say I blame him.
You're attributing good intentions to him because you're a good person.
He must have done something right.
You turned out pretty good.
Let's go.
JACK: The trick was, it had to be an actual accident.
Angel here was the best.
She could make a real doc believe that she had a broken arm.
-Oh, that's because I did.
-One time.
Because the armored truck hit a patch of ice.
Unforeseeable act of God.
At least your childhood was filled with excitement.
No kid had as much as fun as you did.
Um, ahem, so this latest, uh, score.
Sarah said you were just in Dubai? -You sure it's okay? -Oh, he's fine, trust me.
Always, darling.
Never forget that.
Something about, uh, a rich sheik? I'm not a boastful man, Charlie, but this was my Mona Lisa.
These oil guys were just dying to buy anything American.
-Oh, no, you didn't.
-Right.
-Of course I did.
-I think I'm missing a step here.
-He pulled a Lichtenstein.
-A Lichten-what? Lichtenstein is a crazy invention of my father's.
German billionaire who has fallen on hard times needs to sell something fast, so like a piece of art or jewelry.
-Bigger.
-A boat? A plane? Closer, Charlie.
I brought you to my hotel for a reason.
I sold them that.
What? You sold them Nagamichi Plaza? That's incredible.
-Dangerous.
They're gonna find you.
JACK: Oh, relax.
The 700 grand is a finder's fee for putting them in touch with Lichtenstein.
By the time they know, I'll be on an island.
Remember, Charlie, the bigger the lie the-- The easier it is to believe.
Very good, very good.
You think your dad bought us as a couple? He is a pretty sharp guy.
He has his moments.
Maybe we should amp up the PDA.
Try and sell it a little better.
Very funny.
Just make sure you have your wallet.
[GASPS.]
I just flashed.
That's him, that's Sheik Rajiv Amad.
-Stay here.
-What do you think he wants? What do you think? Lichtenstein.
Too bad he doesn't exist.
This, uh-- This has all been a terrible misunderstanding.
Why don't we meet in the morning in Mr.
Lichtenstein's office and settle this whole mess? You must think I'm a fool, Mr.
Burton.
I want my money.
Well, you want your money back, that's fine.
But I'd have to warn you, then the deal's off.
In fact, uh, this is Mr.
Lichtenstein's personal secretary right here.
Miss Applebaum, may I present Sheik Rajiv Amad? It's a pleasure to meet you.
Mr.
Lichtenstein has been expecting you.
Uh, how's tomorrow at 2? I have a better idea.
Why don't we go get him right now? [GUN COCKS.]
I thought so.
There's no Lichtenstein.
WOMAN: Mr.
Lichtenstein.
Is there a Mr.
Lichtenstein here? MAN: Yeah? WOMAN: You have a message.
JACK: Uh, Sheik Rajiv Amad may I present Hans Lichtenstein.
Unfortunately, Mr.
Lichtenstein only speaks German.
But he'll be happy to meet you tomorrow at his office.
Two o'clock? [CHUCK CLEARS THROAT.]
Okay.
But if I don't get my building, he's a dead man.
Translate that.
Okay.
I knew you two were on the grift.
You can't put one past your old man.
Hey, honey, why is there $2500 missing from our account? I forgot to tell you, I lent it to Morgan.
I can only assume you met some other Morgan at work.
Because the thought of you giving away a hunk of our nest egg is just too horrific to consider.
I didn't give it away.
I lent it to him so he can get an apartment with Anna.
Chuck, how much does Morgan make at the Buy More? Uh, about 12 bucks an hour.
Not including his always-appreciating comic-book collection which I would value in the $500 range.
-Devon.
-It was an investment in his future.
So he could become an adult.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
That would be Morgan.
He's giving me a ride.
On what, his handlebars? No.
Uh.
Uh, Morgan-- Morgan bought a barely functioning '81 DeLorean that only goes 22 miles an hour.
So I better get going.
See you.
You don't have to say it, babe.
I'll get our money back.
General, I'd like to apologize for last night.
Chuck never should have gotten caught up in my father's ridiculous con.
CASEY: We should place the Intersect in lockdown until the sheik is out of the country.
-And waste the perfect setup? -I'm not sure I follow.
The CIA has been trying to locate the hidden bank accounts of the Amad family for years.
If you can convince him to wire you the funds we can access those accounts and freeze them.
-Uh, funds for what? -The building.
It will need to be at least $10 million to access his international accounts.
General, is the agency asking us to commit fraud? No, that would mean the CIA has some knowledge of your mission.
How are we supposed to sell a 60-story building in one day? Ask your father.
He seems to be very proficient in his chosen profession.
This is the soundproofing here.
Yeah, you thought that the-- No.
-Do you know where Morgan is? -Who's to say? If he was able to get ahold of high-grade plutonium.
He could be anywhere.
Any place, any time.
The Old West perhaps? Ha-ha-ha.
If I could travel in time, I'd go to Lester's birth.
I'd love to see the look on your face when you emerged from the vaginal canal.
Morgan went to the DMV to get plates.
I lent him that money to get an apartment, not blow it on some stupid car.
What? That money was for our apartment? -I'm gonna kill him.
-Get in line, Anna.
All right, here's the thing.
I beg both of you to reserve judgment until you've seen the plate.
Guys, you are gonna be.
Oh! Yeah.
[MORGAN CHUCKLES.]
I nailed it, right? You have exactly one day to get my money back to me or I pluck you from head to toe.
ANNA: Start with the groin.
He won't be using that region for a while.
[GASPS.]
But, honey, I got it for us.
SARAH: There is no reason to walk away now.
I think we could get the sheik to pay a 3-percent deposit.
Market value is over $300 million-- Whoa, whoa, that's a lot of dough.
Remember, darling, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.
Well, the bigger the lie, the easier it is to believe.
We can do this.
I guess, uh, 5 mil each ain't too bad.
Two-point-five.
You want my help, you have to use my team.
What team? CASEY: Hmm.
-He's got a cop face.
-Hmm? No offense.
[SCOFFS.]
Look, either he's in or none of us are.
Fine, but he's your problem.
All right, Sarah and I will handle the deal.
Cop face, you're security.
[GRUMBLES.]
We can switch names.
I can be cop face and you can be schnook.
We'll use our account number for the wire transfer.
Don't trust you.
No offense.
Uh, question.
What about me? I'm familiar with Hogan's Heroes, and "Castle Wolfenstein" but beyond that, my German is rusty.
Schnook, your job's gonna be toughest of all.
You need to sit there and not say a word.
All right, everybody gather around.
First, we need to evacuate current building management.
JACK: May I have your attention, please.
We need everyone out of this office.
SARAH: This floor is being fumigated.
We have already released toxic fumes.
That can lead to infertility and low sperm count.
All right, you heard them.
Everyone out, let's go, people.
Quickly, quickly.
JACK: Next, we need to redecorate Lichtenstein Enterprises.
Cop face, you're gonna use the gift God gave you.
Your cop face.
They're here.
Show time.
JACK: We need to convince him that we don't wanna sell the building.
He's the one getting the deal, not us.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Lichtenstein will be in Prague on Friday.
No, Monday he's in Moscow.
JACK: Wendy, I don't wanna be interrupted.
I don't care if Mr.
Trump calls.
Tell him the building is no longer for sale.
I'll see him next week in New York.
Gentleman, welcome.
He'll have to call you back next week.
Bye-bye.
Mr.
Lichtenstein will see you now.
[GASPS.]
Gentlemen, may I present to you Mr.
Hans Lichtenstein.
I'm sure you're busy, so we'll make this as painless as possible.
After your lawyers examine the contracts and the inspections are done, we can have a formal meeting.
For now, we only require a 3-percent deposit to take the property off the market.
And that would be $10 million.
First, I would like to have a word with Mr.
Lichtenstein.
Of course.
I'll translate.
[IN GERMAN.]
I'm sorry.
I don't trust you.
I brought my own translator.
[IN GERMAN.]
[SIGHS.]
[IN GERMAN ACCENT.]
That is the worst German accent I've ever heard.
You butcher my language.
The deal is off.
Sounds like Colonel Klink.
So as far as you know, no one ordered an exterminator today? I'm on my way now to find out what the hell's going on.
We got company.
Time to wrap it up.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Amad.
It looks like the deal is off.
But if I could have your account number, I'd be happy to wire the 700,000 you gave-- Wait, wait, there's no reason to panic.
Everyone calm down.
We can work this out.
[SHOUTS IN GERMAN.]
Out of my building.
The deal is off.
There you are.
SARAH [OVER RADIO.]
: Mr.
Lichtenstein has been offended.
Everyone out.
[EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
There's no reason to panic.
We're all businessmen here.
Let's just sit down-- Enough! You're all crazy! No more games.
This is my building.
We had a deal.
Uh, well, sheik, would you care to type in your account number for security purposes? Uh, just go ahead and do the type-y type.
Feel free to look over the space.
We'll give you a moment.
AMAD: Never do business with Germans.
Who the hell are you? And how'd you get up here? Why does that wall say Lichtenstein? -To Lichtenstein.
CASEY: Ha, ha.
Well, you pulled it off, kid.
You made me a believer.
Well, my German's a little rusty, but-- No, no, that you two are a couple.
For later, cop face.
Oh, victory smoke.
Nice, nice.
-You did good, baby.
-So did you.
JACK: I'm gonna get some ice.
Well, I'm not one to say I told you so but I think that worked out pretty good, now, didn't it? I guess he pulled through for me this one time.
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Uh-huh.
Yes, general.
Mission accomplished.
Money was transferred to the CIA account about an hour ago.
Beckman never got the money.
The laptop is gone.
So is my cigar.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hey, they were all out of fruit so I was forced to bring up chocolate croissants.
Well, I guess I have no choice but to take those off you.
Come in.
-You okay? -I'm fine.
My dad will turn up somewhere.
But I guess the real crime is that we didn't get to freeze the sheik's accounts.
I'm sorry if I pushed you into trusting your father.
If there's one thing I learned from my father, it's be ready for disappointment.
And if it's anyone's fault, it's mine.
No, it's not.
Eleven years ago, my father left Ellie and me.
He's, uh.
He was an unusual man.
I guess that's generous.
An engineer.
We used to get Christmas cards and birthday calls.
And then one year, it just stopped.
I don't know why.
What I do know is that it wasn't my fault.
Granted, it took a significant amount of time and an incredible amount of therapy to come to that realization, but.
You need to know that your father's sins are his and not yours.
That's pretty eloquent for 9 a.
m.
What can I say? I am an articulate schnook.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Lucky for me.
BECKMAN [OVER MONITOR.]
: You're alone? -Yes, general.
We've tracked down Jack Burton.
He checked in to a downtown motel under the alias Guido Merkins.
I understand the sensitivity of the situation.
I'll go alone.
-Agent Casey.
-Yeah? Tell Agent Walker I'm sorry.
Roger that.
MORGAN: Where am I gonna find $2500? Charles.
Hey, my man.
Looking well as usual.
Oh, my, and that scent.
It's like the beach after the rains.
[SNIFFS.]
-What do you call it? -Deodorant.
What do you want? I, uh, need to borrow some money or your future brother-in-law is gonna pluck me from head to toe.
-How much are we talking? -Um not too much.
Twenty-five hundred.
Give or take.
[GRUNTING.]
You did good, baby.
Stand back, I'm a doctor.
[GRUNTING.]
No kid had as much fun as you did.
[BUZZING.]
[PANTING.]
-What? JACK [OVER PHONE.]
: Baby, I'm sorry.
But I got a perfect excuse for what happened.
Oh, I'd love to hear all about it.
Some other time.
Just remember, I did it all for you.
AMAD [OVER PHONE.]
: So touching.
Ah, so touching.
Family reunion.
Now, where the hell is my money? I don't have it.
-Well, then, we have a real problem.
-Don't give it to him, honey.
If anything happens to my father-- What? You will con me out of more money? No.
I'll kill you.
Then bring me what is mine and we won't have a problem.
Okay? I'll call you in an hour.
-Thank you so much for this.
-Oh, yeah.
Do you mind? Oh, I can't know your PIN? I'll give you mine if it makes you feel better.
-There are some boundaries, Morgan.
-Okay, all right, all right, I'm sorry.
[ATM BEEPS.]
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God what? Uh, you're broke, right? It's okay.
Don't feel bad, dude.
You know what? There are places I could use some grooming, so forget about it.
CHUCK: Hey, hey, Sarah.
I hope this isn't a mistake and the CIA has decided to compensate me for heroism.
Later, Chuck.
But there happens to be an extra, oh, $10 million in my ATM account.
What? Why would my father put the sheik's money in your account? Whoa, again, we're not so sure that this is coming from your father.
I'm still clinging to the compensation theory.
-Leave it there.
-That's not a bad idea.
Should earn a couple thousand a day in interest.
-What are you doing? Where are you going? -It's personal.
Hey, hey, have you seen Walker? Yes, she left in a hurry with two bags full of T-shirts and some serious firepower.
-Where you going? -It's personal.
-Morgan, Morgan.
-Yeah? CHUCK: I'm gonna loan you the money.
-Oh, thank you.
I need to borrow the DeMorgan.
It's an emergency.
Oh, absolutely, yeah, yeah, yours.
Done.
-What's up? -It's personal.
Treat her well, my friend.
That's close enough.
-You have something for me? -Where's my father? Hey.
Yeah.
Nothing.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
[ENGINE RATTLING.]
Don't shoot! I have your money right here.
-Hey, no.
AMAD: Grab her gun.
Mr.
Lichtenstein, thank you for joining.
-Here to sell me the DeLorean? -I have your money.
Okay, and I can wire it to you right now.
If you're lying, I will put a bullet in her head.
All I need is your account number.
Please, we're just a couple of bad con men who got in way too deep, all right? All we wanna do is give you your money back.
Come take it and let us go.
CASEY: The sheik's account number, hmm.
Decent plan, Bartowski.
Of course, I'll never tell him that.
[COMPUTER BEEPING.]
CHUCK: There, you have your money.
AMAD: Pleasure doing business.
-Now kill them.
-What? [SIREN WAILING.]
CASEY: Okay.
Hold it right there.
U.
S.
Treasury.
Don't anybody move.
Send them up, boys.
I got him.
I got Lichtenstein.
-Come on.
-Unh! CASEY: Ah.
Yeah, you're really selling it there, Casey.
Is this a joke, huh? Where's your backup? Oh, ha, I'm just the tip of the spear.
Rest of the crew's on their way up.
Following these grifters for months now.
You know, if you gentleman would be willing to testify I'm sure we can get the weapons charges dropped, hmm? Drop it! No, no, no, you lower your weapon or I will kill your father.
[JACK GRUNTS.]
If I did that to him, imagine what I'll do to you.
Drop your weapon.
[GASPING.]
-Amad's getting away.
-Not at 22 miles an hour, he's not.
[GRUNTS.]
SARAH: All clear.
Dad.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Yeah, thanks.
A little rough with the cuffs.
Yeah, call it in.
You didn't use blanks? What's wrong with you people? It was just a flesh wound.
Yeah, hi, I'd like to report a stolen '81 DeLorean.
License plate is D-E-M-O-R-G-A-N.
No, this is-- This is not a prank call.
Thanks to your efforts, we were able to freeze a billion dollars of the sheik's foreign accounts.
-Well done.
-General.
-Hmm.
-Now to the unpleasant news.
Agent Walker, we're sending a unit to pick up your father for the previous embezzlement charge at 5:00 today.
Say your goodbyes.
That's all.
General.
As you know, Mr.
Burton was invaluable in the seizure of these funds.
Perhaps that could lessen his prison sentence.
Prosecution will be made aware of that.
Thank you.
You're not gonna believe this.
The police just called.
The DeLorean was stolen.
-I've been meaning-- -Do you know what that means? They have to impound the car.
I'm gonna get blue-book value.
I'll pay back Awesome and still have 10 large.
Dude, I'm rich! Ah, we're rich.
Now we can move in together in style.
I'm doing the whole living room in shabby chic.
-Love you.
-Love you.
Oh, kisses.
Uh, mm.
Yummy kisses.
Ha, ha.
-You have to grow up sometime.
-Right girl, the right time.
I'm proud of you.
Dude, you're not gonna believe what showed up in the audio install.
-Morgan, no.
-Yes.
-Yes.
Do.
CHUCK: Do not.
Well, it couldn't hurt to look, you know.
Ow.
Aah.
Boy, lucky you're a good shot.
But a good con man doesn't need a gun and he can-- Leave town whenever he wants.
I know.
[JACK GRUNTS.]
Uh, Dad, can you get me some rocky road? -There's a store around the corner.
-Ha, ha.
Sure thing, darling.
Why did you put the money in Chuck's account? I needed to put it somewhere because I didn't trust cop face.
But you trusted Chuck? I read people.
It's the only real talent I got.
One thing I know, that kid would never betray you.
I made a $10-million bet that he loved you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Turns out I was right.
I'll be back in a minute.
Uh, Dad? Can you make it a double scoop? [CHUCKLES.]
Sure, darling.
Hi.
Hello, Charlie.
-I've grown accustomed to schnook.
-So have I.
I, uh-- I wanted to thank you for coming back when I gave you 10 million reasons to leave.
But one really good reason to stay.
-She would have done the same for me.
-I believe she would have.
Lucky for me, she met the right schnook.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
My daughter is some kind of cop, isn't she? Yeah, yeah.
Something like that.
JACK: She turned out pretty good.
Even with a lousy father.
Take care of her.
I'll do my best.
-Are you okay? -I'm fine.
Here.
He'll be back soon.
No, he won't.
[CROWD GASPS.]
GIRL: Ow.
My side.
Oh, no.
Ow.
She's hurt.
Someone call 911.
Stand back, I'm a doctor.
-All right, sweetie.
Okay.
GIRL: Ow.
-Oh, all right.
-My side.
She may have broken some ribs.
Anybody know her parents? I'm gonna take her to the hospital.
Help me get her up.
Okay.
-Easy, easy.
That's it.
It's okay.
-Oh, ow.
WOMAN: Good luck.
That really hurt.
I think I sprained my wrist.
Well, it's just a flesh wound, darling.
I can take you to the hospital or I can get you some rocky road.
The choice is yours.
-Rocky road.
-Ha, ha.
So how much we get? Wanna count it? SARAH: Five and 10 makes 20.
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
CHUCK: Hey.
-Long day? -Boring day.
Not sure if it's the excitement you're looking for but, uh, you wanna come over for a fake date with Awesome and Ellie? I promise fake cuddling but real pizza.
I'm sorry, Chuck.
I-- I have plans.
Oh.
Is there a mission? I don't remember getting the memo.
Uh, nope, no mission.
Just plans.
Of course, plans, like any 28-year-old spy with an evening to herself would have.
I'm sorry, Chuck, but it's personal.
CHUCK: Hey.
So, uh, ready for the big mission tonight? -What mission? -You don't have to play games.
You and Sarah, super-secret mission.
There's no mission, moron.
She's taking a personal day.
-I didn't realize we got personal days.
-Well, you don't, we do.
-Any idea what she's up to? -Yep.
-Well? -It's personal.
[ANNA CHUCKLES.]
What do you think you're doing? Giving us a little privacy so we can hook up.
Come here.
-Come on.
-Morgan, no.
I'm sick of hooking up only at work.
I'd love to go someplace else, but where? My mother's always home.
You have three roommates.
-I'm open to suggestions.
-Really? Good.
Here.
The Buena Burbank apartments.
They have really cute one-bedrooms.
-See, I can't afford this.
-We could, together.
We're ready to take the next step.
Wow, we-- That's um-- That's a very big step.
That is not something that you should rush into.
It's something that you should discuss.
I mean, look at this place.
Seventy-two inch plasma, super-comfy couches all the free coffee.
I mean, come on, baby.
We are living the dream.
Whose dream, Morgan? Everyone's.
[MORGAN SIGHS.]
Hey, Chuck, you ever wonder if you're not man enough to hang on to your woman? -I need a Nerd Herd.
-Mm-mm.
No, uh, Emmett found Jeff's underwear on the back seat.
And he's having them all re-upholstered as a safety precaution.
-Morgan, I need to borrow your bike.
-Sure.
-Why? -It's personal.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Plans, huh? How old is this guy? [CELL PHONE BEEPING.]
Let's eat.
Uh, excuse me.
Just a moment.
CHUCK: Yes, I'd like the linguini with the clam sauce, please.
-How did you find me? -The GPS on your watch.
What are you doing here? Look, I'm sorry.
I came for backup only.
I told you, it was personal.
I know, I know, but I flashed.
Look, I'm all for a little time off, and God knows you deserve it.
But you should know the much, much, much older gentleman that you're having dinner with is a bad man.
-Chuck-- -Let me finish.
The guy is a total loser.
Absolute bottom-feeding scum of the earth have I mentioned, considerably older man? All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
Chuck, I'd like you to meet my dad, Jack Burton.
Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
Ahem.
A real pleasure, sir.
Ha.
French toast, whipped cream, fresh strawberries.
-Just how you like them.
-When I was 12.
Oh.
You need to eat something.
Big day at work.
What is it you're doing again? Making milkshakes? -Frozen yogurt.
-Oh.
Sounds stimulating.
-Pays the bills.
-Well, yeah, I can see that.
Very believable.
-What is that supposed to mean? -This place, your job.
Your name, Sarah Walker, that schnook from last night.
-Chippy.
-Chuck.
You're working an angle.
I mean, ha, ha, he's probably the son of some rich Beverly Hills family.
Look, Chuck is my boyfriend, and he makes $12 an hour.
So you stay away from him.
Hey, you don't wanna cut me in, fine.
I don't need his money.
I got my own.
Oh, my God.
It looks like almost a million dollars.
Well, Christmas came a little early.
For you.
No, thanks.
I'm not interested in your stolen money.
That's what you think of your old man? Some two-bit thief? Darling, a thief has to run out of town as fast as he can, but a good con man-- A good con man can leave whenever he wants.
I remember, Dad.
So who donated the money, anyway? A couple months ago, I flew over to Dubai.
You wouldn't believe the kind of money they got there.
Oh.
This particular donation is compliments of Sheik Rajiv Amad.
Amad, the Saudi oil family? My daughter knows her Arabs.
I gotta go to work.
Uh, forgetting something? Have fun at the office.
SARAH: General, in the spirit of full disclosure my father has conned Sheik Rajiv Amad out of nearly a million dollars.
-Hit the big time.
-Give the order and I'll bring him in.
What? You're gonna arrest your own father? -Isnât that a conflict of interest? -Agent Walker's uncomfortable -I'd be happy to make the arrest.
-No one is getting arrested yet.
Amad's been on the CIA's terror watch list for years.
He's suspected of funding terrorist regimes in Afghanistan and Kenya.
We have no recent photos and he goes by many different aliases.
Any information your father could provide about his financial holdings would be valuable intel.
General, my father is unaware of my CIA career.
In fact, I'm not sure he would be all that proud.
No one is asking you to compromise your cover, Agent Walker.
Just talk to your father.
-Take the Intersect with you.
-General, my father-- Your father conned a very connected, very dangerous man.
You better find out how deep he's in before the sheik does.
-Captain Morgan.
-Hey, buddy.
Uh, have you seen Chuck? -Left for work.
What's up? -What's up? Basically, my life is over, that's what's up.
You ready for this? Anna asked me to get an apartment together.
Whoa.
Ha, ha.
Big step, little man.
All right.
I, uh-- I don't know about all right, I.
You know what, man? I just don't think I'm ready for that.
Things are good with us, you know.
Why rock the boat? -Permission to speak freely? -There are no secrets between us.
Would you agree that you have no credit, no life plan, no apartment, no car no adult responsibilities of any kind? On rare occasion, I do my own laundry.
-Time to grow up, Morgan.
-I know.
Here's the thing, this apartment is a lot of dough.
-It'll clear me out-- -Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
A little short on cash? We'll lend it to you.
Don't worry.
Wait a minute.
-You'd do that for me, really? -Yeah.
That's-- That's super cool, man.
-Why? -Because I believe in you.
Consider it an investment in your future.
-Whoa, are you sure about that? -Yes, I'm sure.
You'll pay me back.
Twelve percent interest every week or it goes up two points.
Absolutely.
What does that mean? Twenty five hundred should cover it.
There you go, Morgan.
Welcome to adulthood.
We've been waiting for you.
Sarah was just bluffing with Beckman.
She'd never arrest her own father.
Why not? The guy's a criminal.
Been in and out of jail her whole life.
Yeah, but he seems to care though.
At least he's attempting to have a relationship.
-I don't even know where my own father is.
-Oh, that's sad.
You've confused me with someone that cares about your life before the Intersect.
Good session, buddy.
Really feel like we had breakthrough there.
So long, Chuck.
We had a good run, didn't we? -Stuff of legend.
Where you headed? -Adulthood.
Anna and I are moving in together.
Really? That's fantastic.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Enjoy your youth, Charles.
Enjoy every damn minute of it.
-Dude, have you seen her? -Who? -The hottest piece to come in to this store.
-Not even human, smoking hot.
-Where? -Follow your boys.
Follow your boys.
The 1981 DeLorean DMC.
Only 9000 made.
The exact car from Back to the Future.
Actually, the Back to the Future car had a Porsche engine.
When's it gonna be done? Um, few weeks.
Months, at least.
Hopefully the iPod adapter will help me sell it.
Are you serious? How could you have any trouble selling this treasure? The passenger door doesn't work, the gas mileage is horrible and if it actually goes over 22 miles per hour, it stalls.
Really? -I'll take it.
OWNER: Deal.
Yes.
Good boy.
He's not a schnook.
He's a wonderful, caring, intelligent guy.
Who's a class-A schnook.
You don't wanna cut me in, no problem.
But don't play me for a fool.
This guy has 2200 bucks to his name.
How do you know? I lifted his ATM card last night.
I wanted to check him out because I was worried about you.
-Now that you know he's broke? -Now I'm really worried.
I'm gonna get a cab.
Charlie, there you are.
Hi, good to see you again, Mr.
Burton.
Oh, please, please, Jack.
Nice tie.
Looking sharp, young man.
-Well, I think he's warming up to me.
-Accidentally fell into my father's pocket.
It's okay.
He was just being protective of you.
And after the way I behaved, I can't say I blame him.
You're attributing good intentions to him because you're a good person.
He must have done something right.
You turned out pretty good.
Let's go.
JACK: The trick was, it had to be an actual accident.
Angel here was the best.
She could make a real doc believe that she had a broken arm.
-Oh, that's because I did.
-One time.
Because the armored truck hit a patch of ice.
Unforeseeable act of God.
At least your childhood was filled with excitement.
No kid had as much as fun as you did.
Um, ahem, so this latest, uh, score.
Sarah said you were just in Dubai? -You sure it's okay? -Oh, he's fine, trust me.
Always, darling.
Never forget that.
Something about, uh, a rich sheik? I'm not a boastful man, Charlie, but this was my Mona Lisa.
These oil guys were just dying to buy anything American.
-Oh, no, you didn't.
-Right.
-Of course I did.
-I think I'm missing a step here.
-He pulled a Lichtenstein.
-A Lichten-what? Lichtenstein is a crazy invention of my father's.
German billionaire who has fallen on hard times needs to sell something fast, so like a piece of art or jewelry.
-Bigger.
-A boat? A plane? Closer, Charlie.
I brought you to my hotel for a reason.
I sold them that.
What? You sold them Nagamichi Plaza? That's incredible.
-Dangerous.
They're gonna find you.
JACK: Oh, relax.
The 700 grand is a finder's fee for putting them in touch with Lichtenstein.
By the time they know, I'll be on an island.
Remember, Charlie, the bigger the lie the-- The easier it is to believe.
Very good, very good.
You think your dad bought us as a couple? He is a pretty sharp guy.
He has his moments.
Maybe we should amp up the PDA.
Try and sell it a little better.
Very funny.
Just make sure you have your wallet.
[GASPS.]
I just flashed.
That's him, that's Sheik Rajiv Amad.
-Stay here.
-What do you think he wants? What do you think? Lichtenstein.
Too bad he doesn't exist.
This, uh-- This has all been a terrible misunderstanding.
Why don't we meet in the morning in Mr.
Lichtenstein's office and settle this whole mess? You must think I'm a fool, Mr.
Burton.
I want my money.
Well, you want your money back, that's fine.
But I'd have to warn you, then the deal's off.
In fact, uh, this is Mr.
Lichtenstein's personal secretary right here.
Miss Applebaum, may I present Sheik Rajiv Amad? It's a pleasure to meet you.
Mr.
Lichtenstein has been expecting you.
Uh, how's tomorrow at 2? I have a better idea.
Why don't we go get him right now? [GUN COCKS.]
I thought so.
There's no Lichtenstein.
WOMAN: Mr.
Lichtenstein.
Is there a Mr.
Lichtenstein here? MAN: Yeah? WOMAN: You have a message.
JACK: Uh, Sheik Rajiv Amad may I present Hans Lichtenstein.
Unfortunately, Mr.
Lichtenstein only speaks German.
But he'll be happy to meet you tomorrow at his office.
Two o'clock? [CHUCK CLEARS THROAT.]
Okay.
But if I don't get my building, he's a dead man.
Translate that.
Okay.
I knew you two were on the grift.
You can't put one past your old man.
Hey, honey, why is there $2500 missing from our account? I forgot to tell you, I lent it to Morgan.
I can only assume you met some other Morgan at work.
Because the thought of you giving away a hunk of our nest egg is just too horrific to consider.
I didn't give it away.
I lent it to him so he can get an apartment with Anna.
Chuck, how much does Morgan make at the Buy More? Uh, about 12 bucks an hour.
Not including his always-appreciating comic-book collection which I would value in the $500 range.
-Devon.
-It was an investment in his future.
So he could become an adult.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
That would be Morgan.
He's giving me a ride.
On what, his handlebars? No.
Uh.
Uh, Morgan-- Morgan bought a barely functioning '81 DeLorean that only goes 22 miles an hour.
So I better get going.
See you.
You don't have to say it, babe.
I'll get our money back.
General, I'd like to apologize for last night.
Chuck never should have gotten caught up in my father's ridiculous con.
CASEY: We should place the Intersect in lockdown until the sheik is out of the country.
-And waste the perfect setup? -I'm not sure I follow.
The CIA has been trying to locate the hidden bank accounts of the Amad family for years.
If you can convince him to wire you the funds we can access those accounts and freeze them.
-Uh, funds for what? -The building.
It will need to be at least $10 million to access his international accounts.
General, is the agency asking us to commit fraud? No, that would mean the CIA has some knowledge of your mission.
How are we supposed to sell a 60-story building in one day? Ask your father.
He seems to be very proficient in his chosen profession.
This is the soundproofing here.
Yeah, you thought that the-- No.
-Do you know where Morgan is? -Who's to say? If he was able to get ahold of high-grade plutonium.
He could be anywhere.
Any place, any time.
The Old West perhaps? Ha-ha-ha.
If I could travel in time, I'd go to Lester's birth.
I'd love to see the look on your face when you emerged from the vaginal canal.
Morgan went to the DMV to get plates.
I lent him that money to get an apartment, not blow it on some stupid car.
What? That money was for our apartment? -I'm gonna kill him.
-Get in line, Anna.
All right, here's the thing.
I beg both of you to reserve judgment until you've seen the plate.
Guys, you are gonna be.
Oh! Yeah.
[MORGAN CHUCKLES.]
I nailed it, right? You have exactly one day to get my money back to me or I pluck you from head to toe.
ANNA: Start with the groin.
He won't be using that region for a while.
[GASPS.]
But, honey, I got it for us.
SARAH: There is no reason to walk away now.
I think we could get the sheik to pay a 3-percent deposit.
Market value is over $300 million-- Whoa, whoa, that's a lot of dough.
Remember, darling, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.
Well, the bigger the lie, the easier it is to believe.
We can do this.
I guess, uh, 5 mil each ain't too bad.
Two-point-five.
You want my help, you have to use my team.
What team? CASEY: Hmm.
-He's got a cop face.
-Hmm? No offense.
[SCOFFS.]
Look, either he's in or none of us are.
Fine, but he's your problem.
All right, Sarah and I will handle the deal.
Cop face, you're security.
[GRUMBLES.]
We can switch names.
I can be cop face and you can be schnook.
We'll use our account number for the wire transfer.
Don't trust you.
No offense.
Uh, question.
What about me? I'm familiar with Hogan's Heroes, and "Castle Wolfenstein" but beyond that, my German is rusty.
Schnook, your job's gonna be toughest of all.
You need to sit there and not say a word.
All right, everybody gather around.
First, we need to evacuate current building management.
JACK: May I have your attention, please.
We need everyone out of this office.
SARAH: This floor is being fumigated.
We have already released toxic fumes.
That can lead to infertility and low sperm count.
All right, you heard them.
Everyone out, let's go, people.
Quickly, quickly.
JACK: Next, we need to redecorate Lichtenstein Enterprises.
Cop face, you're gonna use the gift God gave you.
Your cop face.
They're here.
Show time.
JACK: We need to convince him that we don't wanna sell the building.
He's the one getting the deal, not us.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Lichtenstein will be in Prague on Friday.
No, Monday he's in Moscow.
JACK: Wendy, I don't wanna be interrupted.
I don't care if Mr.
Trump calls.
Tell him the building is no longer for sale.
I'll see him next week in New York.
Gentleman, welcome.
He'll have to call you back next week.
Bye-bye.
Mr.
Lichtenstein will see you now.
[GASPS.]
Gentlemen, may I present to you Mr.
Hans Lichtenstein.
I'm sure you're busy, so we'll make this as painless as possible.
After your lawyers examine the contracts and the inspections are done, we can have a formal meeting.
For now, we only require a 3-percent deposit to take the property off the market.
And that would be $10 million.
First, I would like to have a word with Mr.
Lichtenstein.
Of course.
I'll translate.
[IN GERMAN.]
I'm sorry.
I don't trust you.
I brought my own translator.
[IN GERMAN.]
[SIGHS.]
[IN GERMAN ACCENT.]
That is the worst German accent I've ever heard.
You butcher my language.
The deal is off.
Sounds like Colonel Klink.
So as far as you know, no one ordered an exterminator today? I'm on my way now to find out what the hell's going on.
We got company.
Time to wrap it up.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Amad.
It looks like the deal is off.
But if I could have your account number, I'd be happy to wire the 700,000 you gave-- Wait, wait, there's no reason to panic.
Everyone calm down.
We can work this out.
[SHOUTS IN GERMAN.]
Out of my building.
The deal is off.
There you are.
SARAH [OVER RADIO.]
: Mr.
Lichtenstein has been offended.
Everyone out.
[EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
There's no reason to panic.
We're all businessmen here.
Let's just sit down-- Enough! You're all crazy! No more games.
This is my building.
We had a deal.
Uh, well, sheik, would you care to type in your account number for security purposes? Uh, just go ahead and do the type-y type.
Feel free to look over the space.
We'll give you a moment.
AMAD: Never do business with Germans.
Who the hell are you? And how'd you get up here? Why does that wall say Lichtenstein? -To Lichtenstein.
CASEY: Ha, ha.
Well, you pulled it off, kid.
You made me a believer.
Well, my German's a little rusty, but-- No, no, that you two are a couple.
For later, cop face.
Oh, victory smoke.
Nice, nice.
-You did good, baby.
-So did you.
JACK: I'm gonna get some ice.
Well, I'm not one to say I told you so but I think that worked out pretty good, now, didn't it? I guess he pulled through for me this one time.
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Uh-huh.
Yes, general.
Mission accomplished.
Money was transferred to the CIA account about an hour ago.
Beckman never got the money.
The laptop is gone.
So is my cigar.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hey, they were all out of fruit so I was forced to bring up chocolate croissants.
Well, I guess I have no choice but to take those off you.
Come in.
-You okay? -I'm fine.
My dad will turn up somewhere.
But I guess the real crime is that we didn't get to freeze the sheik's accounts.
I'm sorry if I pushed you into trusting your father.
If there's one thing I learned from my father, it's be ready for disappointment.
And if it's anyone's fault, it's mine.
No, it's not.
Eleven years ago, my father left Ellie and me.
He's, uh.
He was an unusual man.
I guess that's generous.
An engineer.
We used to get Christmas cards and birthday calls.
And then one year, it just stopped.
I don't know why.
What I do know is that it wasn't my fault.
Granted, it took a significant amount of time and an incredible amount of therapy to come to that realization, but.
You need to know that your father's sins are his and not yours.
That's pretty eloquent for 9 a.
m.
What can I say? I am an articulate schnook.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Lucky for me.
BECKMAN [OVER MONITOR.]
: You're alone? -Yes, general.
We've tracked down Jack Burton.
He checked in to a downtown motel under the alias Guido Merkins.
I understand the sensitivity of the situation.
I'll go alone.
-Agent Casey.
-Yeah? Tell Agent Walker I'm sorry.
Roger that.
MORGAN: Where am I gonna find $2500? Charles.
Hey, my man.
Looking well as usual.
Oh, my, and that scent.
It's like the beach after the rains.
[SNIFFS.]
-What do you call it? -Deodorant.
What do you want? I, uh, need to borrow some money or your future brother-in-law is gonna pluck me from head to toe.
-How much are we talking? -Um not too much.
Twenty-five hundred.
Give or take.
[GRUNTING.]
You did good, baby.
Stand back, I'm a doctor.
[GRUNTING.]
No kid had as much fun as you did.
[BUZZING.]
[PANTING.]
-What? JACK [OVER PHONE.]
: Baby, I'm sorry.
But I got a perfect excuse for what happened.
Oh, I'd love to hear all about it.
Some other time.
Just remember, I did it all for you.
AMAD [OVER PHONE.]
: So touching.
Ah, so touching.
Family reunion.
Now, where the hell is my money? I don't have it.
-Well, then, we have a real problem.
-Don't give it to him, honey.
If anything happens to my father-- What? You will con me out of more money? No.
I'll kill you.
Then bring me what is mine and we won't have a problem.
Okay? I'll call you in an hour.
-Thank you so much for this.
-Oh, yeah.
Do you mind? Oh, I can't know your PIN? I'll give you mine if it makes you feel better.
-There are some boundaries, Morgan.
-Okay, all right, all right, I'm sorry.
[ATM BEEPS.]
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God what? Uh, you're broke, right? It's okay.
Don't feel bad, dude.
You know what? There are places I could use some grooming, so forget about it.
CHUCK: Hey, hey, Sarah.
I hope this isn't a mistake and the CIA has decided to compensate me for heroism.
Later, Chuck.
But there happens to be an extra, oh, $10 million in my ATM account.
What? Why would my father put the sheik's money in your account? Whoa, again, we're not so sure that this is coming from your father.
I'm still clinging to the compensation theory.
-Leave it there.
-That's not a bad idea.
Should earn a couple thousand a day in interest.
-What are you doing? Where are you going? -It's personal.
Hey, hey, have you seen Walker? Yes, she left in a hurry with two bags full of T-shirts and some serious firepower.
-Where you going? -It's personal.
-Morgan, Morgan.
-Yeah? CHUCK: I'm gonna loan you the money.
-Oh, thank you.
I need to borrow the DeMorgan.
It's an emergency.
Oh, absolutely, yeah, yeah, yours.
Done.
-What's up? -It's personal.
Treat her well, my friend.
That's close enough.
-You have something for me? -Where's my father? Hey.
Yeah.
Nothing.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
[ENGINE RATTLING.]
Don't shoot! I have your money right here.
-Hey, no.
AMAD: Grab her gun.
Mr.
Lichtenstein, thank you for joining.
-Here to sell me the DeLorean? -I have your money.
Okay, and I can wire it to you right now.
If you're lying, I will put a bullet in her head.
All I need is your account number.
Please, we're just a couple of bad con men who got in way too deep, all right? All we wanna do is give you your money back.
Come take it and let us go.
CASEY: The sheik's account number, hmm.
Decent plan, Bartowski.
Of course, I'll never tell him that.
[COMPUTER BEEPING.]
CHUCK: There, you have your money.
AMAD: Pleasure doing business.
-Now kill them.
-What? [SIREN WAILING.]
CASEY: Okay.
Hold it right there.
U.
S.
Treasury.
Don't anybody move.
Send them up, boys.
I got him.
I got Lichtenstein.
-Come on.
-Unh! CASEY: Ah.
Yeah, you're really selling it there, Casey.
Is this a joke, huh? Where's your backup? Oh, ha, I'm just the tip of the spear.
Rest of the crew's on their way up.
Following these grifters for months now.
You know, if you gentleman would be willing to testify I'm sure we can get the weapons charges dropped, hmm? Drop it! No, no, no, you lower your weapon or I will kill your father.
[JACK GRUNTS.]
If I did that to him, imagine what I'll do to you.
Drop your weapon.
[GASPING.]
-Amad's getting away.
-Not at 22 miles an hour, he's not.
[GRUNTS.]
SARAH: All clear.
Dad.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Yeah, thanks.
A little rough with the cuffs.
Yeah, call it in.
You didn't use blanks? What's wrong with you people? It was just a flesh wound.
Yeah, hi, I'd like to report a stolen '81 DeLorean.
License plate is D-E-M-O-R-G-A-N.
No, this is-- This is not a prank call.
Thanks to your efforts, we were able to freeze a billion dollars of the sheik's foreign accounts.
-Well done.
-General.
-Hmm.
-Now to the unpleasant news.
Agent Walker, we're sending a unit to pick up your father for the previous embezzlement charge at 5:00 today.
Say your goodbyes.
That's all.
General.
As you know, Mr.
Burton was invaluable in the seizure of these funds.
Perhaps that could lessen his prison sentence.
Prosecution will be made aware of that.
Thank you.
You're not gonna believe this.
The police just called.
The DeLorean was stolen.
-I've been meaning-- -Do you know what that means? They have to impound the car.
I'm gonna get blue-book value.
I'll pay back Awesome and still have 10 large.
Dude, I'm rich! Ah, we're rich.
Now we can move in together in style.
I'm doing the whole living room in shabby chic.
-Love you.
-Love you.
Oh, kisses.
Uh, mm.
Yummy kisses.
Ha, ha.
-You have to grow up sometime.
-Right girl, the right time.
I'm proud of you.
Dude, you're not gonna believe what showed up in the audio install.
-Morgan, no.
-Yes.
-Yes.
Do.
CHUCK: Do not.
Well, it couldn't hurt to look, you know.
Ow.
Aah.
Boy, lucky you're a good shot.
But a good con man doesn't need a gun and he can-- Leave town whenever he wants.
I know.
[JACK GRUNTS.]
Uh, Dad, can you get me some rocky road? -There's a store around the corner.
-Ha, ha.
Sure thing, darling.
Why did you put the money in Chuck's account? I needed to put it somewhere because I didn't trust cop face.
But you trusted Chuck? I read people.
It's the only real talent I got.
One thing I know, that kid would never betray you.
I made a $10-million bet that he loved you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Turns out I was right.
I'll be back in a minute.
Uh, Dad? Can you make it a double scoop? [CHUCKLES.]
Sure, darling.
Hi.
Hello, Charlie.
-I've grown accustomed to schnook.
-So have I.
I, uh-- I wanted to thank you for coming back when I gave you 10 million reasons to leave.
But one really good reason to stay.
-She would have done the same for me.
-I believe she would have.
Lucky for me, she met the right schnook.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
My daughter is some kind of cop, isn't she? Yeah, yeah.
Something like that.
JACK: She turned out pretty good.
Even with a lousy father.
Take care of her.
I'll do my best.
-Are you okay? -I'm fine.
Here.
He'll be back soon.
No, he won't.