Chuck s02e18 Episode Script

Chuck Versus the Broken Heart

Whoa! Whoa, whoa! No.
[MUFFLED GRUNTS] Freeze.
Drop him.
Take your masks off.
Do it.
Untie him.
MORGAN: Stay still.
Hold still.
-Aah! -Man up, Charles.
-Why would you do this to me? I'm sorry.
It was a practice run for when we kidnap Awesome for his bachelor party.
You guys aren't invited.
What finer way to be invited than to kidnap the guest of honor? A bachelor party is a mythical place where booze and women are free.
It's Xanadu.
MORGAN: That's the-- We were just-- -I had that dream.
LESTER: We were-- No, no, no.
I think that-- Oh, my God.
Stop.
Jonathan, stop.
MORGAN: Please-- LESTER: Stop.
CHUCK: Okay.
I'm going to bed.
[TV BEEPS] BECKMAN [OVER TV]: Chuck? Ahem.
Bartowski? General.
Hey, what are you--? What are you--? I wanted a private word with you.
Pardon the intrusion.
On this moment, or my life in general? I'd like to know if your relationship with Agent Walker -is compromising your job performance.
-How do you mean? What does that mean? -Has your situation gotten too complicated? -What? With Sarah? No.
God, no.
No.
Sarah Walker is a pleasure to work with.
A delight, even.
I want facts.
I don't care about your feelings.
-What feelings? -These feelings.
-Sarah, you wanna go on a date? -A real date? You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
I wouldn't mind some time to sort out my feelings.
It's my mother's charm bracelet.
My dad gave it to her.
I'm crazy about you, and always have been.
My job is to make sure you're protected without interloping emotional complications from my team.
We're going to have to do a 49-B.
Okay, if you could tell me what a 49-B is, that would help-- [ALARM CLOCK BEEPING] [KNOCKING ON DOOR] DEVON: Chuckster.
Time to flush out your system, dude.
Oh! Oh! God, no.
I'm good with my clog.
Hey, about your bachelor party.
Do you still wanna do that camping thing, or, uh, something more traditional? Hey, Chuck, uh, this came back in the mail.
It's from Dad.
I'm so sorry, Ellie.
I'll keep searching.
You know what? Don't worry about it.
You can't get disappointed if you don't have expectations, right? So, um, I was overhearing about the bachelor party.
For the record, I don't care what you guys do -because I trust you completely.
-Which is why I'm marrying you.
Oh, pbbt.
What is that? That is the taste of a healthy colon.
[GROANS SOFTLY] -Who's General Beckman? -What? Video-game stuff.
Yeah, it's video-game stuff.
Top-secret stuff that I'd be breaking all kinds of rules to talk about it.
-Morgan, huh? -Yeah.
So if Morgan's General Beckman, who are you? Uh, well, I am Special Agent Carmichael.
Huh.
Carmichael.
I like it.
Sarah? Hey, Sarah, I messed up.
General Beckman, she called me, asked me about our relationship.
And you know that conversation, the one where I might've maybe mentioned that I'm crazy about you? Well, I tried to cover, but I'm not so sure that she bought it.
-Wha--? Where's Sarah? -I'm Agent Alex Forrest.
General Beckman sent me.
I'm your 49-B.
I'm sure you've all had a chance to welcome Agent Alex Forrest.
-Of course, general.
BECKMAN: Then on to the matter at hand.
We're familiar with the elusive leader of a terrorist group who has been hiding in the Afghani caves for years: Hassan Khalid.
BOTH: I dream of finding him.
A member of Khalid's inner circle is this man, Rashad Ahmad.
Ahmad is privy to all of Khalid's nefarious plans.
While on banking business for Khalid in Los Angeles a man we believe to be Ahmad had a heart attack.
He needs a pacemaker and has checked into a hospital under the pseudonym Harry Lime.
-You believe this man to be Ahmad? BECKMAN: That is the mission.
Intelligence has only been able to obtain grainy satellite images of Ahmad.
Mr.
Bartowski, using his unique skill set must infiltrate the hospital to confirm Ahmad's identity.
-Questions? -Sounds straightforward, general.
Yeah, I have a question.
Yeah, just a teeny little one.
What exactly is a 49-B? BECKMAN [OVER MONITOR]: Mind fielding that one, Agent Walker? Agent Forrest is here to assess my performance.
And during the evaluation period she will assume the role of the asset's handler.
Thank you.
That will be all.
What? What is this all about? I'm sorry.
To discuss this further would be a breach of protocol.
"To discuss this would be a breach of protocol?" Is it possible that someone kidnapped Sarah and replaced her with some soulless replica? -Wanna talk about your feelings? -Please.
Wrong.
That's what got the 49-B involved in the first place.
-How come--? -Chuck.
We are here to plead our case about Awesome's party.
Not now.
I'm in the middle of something.
The world revolves around the sun, Charles, not you.
-Ooh, astronomy snap.
-Okay, hold-- It's just that-- We'd just like you to reconsider.
Reconsider what? You guys aren't even invited.
[CHUCKLES] You tell him or I will.
Jeff and I, we've never been to a bachelor party.
Never known anyone qualified enough to land a woman for life.
-So please, please.
-Please, please, please.
LESTER: Please do this.
-No and no.
Okay, how about this? As a plus since Big Mike has been dating my mother, he's made me lock up.
So we can use this place for the party, save cash and guess what, spend it on lady dancers.
[SCATTING] Pow.
-Lady dancers.
LESTER: Pow.
-Chucky Chucky Chuck.
-Hey now.
Hey now.
-We're talking serious-- -The answer's no.
Hey.
Oh, please.
Don't say no.
Say you'll wrap your mind around it.
-Hey, does the new girl know about, uh--? -No.
She won't know that information unless her position becomes permanent.
What do you mean, permanent? It's not gonna happen.
The 49-B will come in, make her findings, and be on her way.
Hey, uh.
-I'm sorry, Sarah.
-For what? I didn't mean to get you in trouble at work.
I didn't know I was being taped that much.
-No, it's fine, really.
-I've just been stressed out.
I promised Ellie I'd find our dad to walk her down the aisle.
I've tried everything.
It's like he's fallen off the face of the Earth.
You've got clearance.
You mind running dad's name through the Castle computer? -That's impossible.
-Damn right.
If Agent Walker did that, not only would she be fired but potentially face charges of misappropriation of government intelligence.
Enough personal time.
We have work to do.
The asset and I will enter the facility, obtain uniforms to assimilate and attempt to confirm Ahmad's identity.
-Is there anything I can do, Casey? -I got it.
-Casey, uh, what is that? -You confirm Harry Lime is Ahmad.
I'll sneak into the high-security area where the equipment and donor organs are kept.
Why? Aren't we just gonna arrest him? Don't underestimate the gamesmanship of the U.
S.
government.
I'll place this GLG-4000 inside Ahmad's pacemaker before it's implanted.
When he returns to Hassan Khalid's secret cave, he'll be a high-tech human bug.
Not only will we know the secret location, but we'll be one step ahead of their plans.
[IN UNISON] Checkmate.
Get the door.
Are you crazy? I can't go in here.
This is where Ellie and Awesome work.
We checked their schedules.
Ellie's not working today, Devon is mid-surgery.
Hey, you're here to observe.
Stay in the van, Walker.
That's an order.
[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA] Aha.
And what were you little kids doing in there? A little hanky-panky? Ha-ha-ha-- [TRANQ GUN FIRES] What? Why? Why would you do that? Relax, I only tranqed her.
She'll be awake in six to eight hours.
Now, grab a leg.
Oh, hey.
I didn't think you were on call today, Dr.
Bartowski.
Well, they keep switching my shifts around.
See you.
That grandma was no threat.
-I don't get why you decided-- -I don't decide.
Protocol dictates my actions.
-Chuck? -Shh, shh, shh.
Your sister is 30 feet northeast of you.
Doctor? ELLIE: Yeah? -You forgot your pen.
ELLIE: Thank you.
-Now or never.
[WHISPERS] Ahem.
It's him.
-Are you his doctor? -[IN NORMAL VOICE] Of course.
Am I not wearing a doctor's coat? Who else would I be if not one of this man's doctors? Doctor, I am Harry Lime's private physician, Dr.
Mohammad Zamir.
-Ah, doctor.
-Doctor.
-Doctor.
-Doctor.
And doctor.
Nurse, would you excuse us for a moment? I'd like to consult the doctor privately.
Yes.
We'll be discussing doctor things that only doctors understand.
Please go.
-Please don't go.
FORREST: Ahem.
Be right outside, doctor.
Major, what's your 20? -In position.
-Identification affirmative.
-Roger that.
-Proceed.
[BEEPS] [BEEPS] Hey.
You.
Yeah.
Hysterectomy in 806 didn't make it to the toilet.
You mind? You got it.
Ahem.
Just.
Ow.
Ahem.
Well, heart sounds appear to be normal.
For a patient with this type of atypical cardio cardiac condition.
You should know that this patient is a very important man.
Well, I took an oath to treat my first patient with the same kind of care as every subsequent patient.
It's a very dangerous job to be the surgeon of a very important man.
You understand my meaning, doctor? I'll do the best job that I know how to do.
Your life depends on it.
If I have to eat an apple a day to keep that doctor away, then bring on the fresh fruit.
Hey, the security system's been updated.
I'll either need 40 minutes to decrypt the code or 4 ounces of C4.
Maybe I could take out some doctor and steal his card key.
I like the cut of your jib.
Wow, you two are a match made in a very frightening part of heaven.
All we'll need is some idiot doctor with a key card to get us into the restricted area.
No way.
No, no way.
Absolutely not.
Not Awesome.
No.
Uh-uh.
I am not getting my soon-to-be brother-in-law involved in a government mission.
No way.
Fortunately, you, like felons and children, don't get a vote.
Is there a different doctor? This mission does put Chuck's cover close to the action, risking potential exposure.
The words I was thinking just came out of Sarah's mouth.
Connected professionally.
No time.
Only a couple docs have that card key.
Your sister's Ken doll's one of them.
Well, how are you gonna do that? You can't just walk up and ask for it.
-I'll handle things my way.
-No, wait.
There will be no tranqing.
I think I might know how we can have our spy cake and eat it too.
DEVON: What the--? MAN: Hey, careful.
Let's go! ALL: Surprise! [CHUCKLES] -You guys are awesome.
-To the bachelor.
[ALL CHEERING] -Whoa, what are you doing? -Visual souvenirs, dude.
He does quite a bit of scrapbooking.
You gotta be kidding me.
Listen to me.
What happens in the Buy More, stays in the Buy More.
Oh, right, yes.
No, I got it.
I'm sorry.
Bachelor-party virgin.
-Lock it down.
-Okay, okay.
[CAMERA CLICKS] Hey, hey, hey.
Uh, happy bachelor party there, captain.
Well, thanks for your help throwing it, General Beckman.
Heh, heh.
Nothing gets by me.
Ha, ha.
Okay.
Based on my observations Agent Walker is too emotionally entwined with the asset.
Her decisions weren't made with respect to established protocol.
She always places the subject's feelings above orders.
-Is that your final assessment? -It is.
Agent Walker.
Thank you for your dedication to this mission.
General, please, I-- But as of right now, your services are officially terminated.
Report back to Langley at 0900.
Please take good care of him.
I'll do my job if that's what you mean.
Well, I'll be on my way as soon as I say goodbye to him.
I don't think so.
You've already done enough damage here.
Chuck's my mission now.
No further contact.
That's an order.
To finding the love of your life.
[CHEERS] Happy bachelor party, my friend.
We got you half a dozen $5 foot-longs from Subway, that's six feet of meat.
-Five.
I ate a foot.
-What is the matter with you? Thanks, boys.
Gonna be quite a tasty event.
Thank you.
-Here we go.
-See? This is what I'm talking about.
He's gonna be so drunk when you steal his key, he won't notice.
No tranqing necessary.
-How we gonna distract him? -I'm one step ahead of you, my friend.
I had Jeff hire some exotic female entertainment.
Hmm? -At least the sandwiches are fresh.
-Wait, Jeffrey, isn't that your sister? She gave us a deal.
[PHONE RINGS] -Hello? -Hey, babe, it's me.
Chuck and the boys kidnapped me for my bachelor party.
ELLIE [OVER PHONE]: Wow, lucky you.
I am lucky knowing what's waiting for me at home.
Hey, great party, huh? ELLIE: That's charming for a man so close to temptation.
CASEY: Damn it.
How could I be tempted by hamburger when I have steak? [OVER PHONE] Seriously, babe, I love you.
All right, you've sucked up enough.
-I trust you.
Have fun.
-Thanks, honey.
Got Woodcomb's wallet, but came up empty.
[OVER PHONE] No card key.
-Must still be around his neck.
-I have to get it another way.
FORREST [OVER PHONE]: Don't worry.
Got a backup plan.
You're still here, Walker.
I thought I made myself clear.
I'm just tying up some loose ends.
Make it quick.
-Freeze, boys.
You're all in trouble.
-Five-0.
Gotta flush my stash.
No, don't, Jeff.
This is what you've been waiting for.
This is Xanadu.
I understand one of you's been a naughty, naughty boy.
Me.
Oh, my God, pick me.
I'm so bad.
I'm a bad person.
I'm a terrible person.
Ouch.
I broke eight and a half commandments on the way to work this morning.
This is your guy.
This is him.
-I'm gonna have to strip search you.
-Oh! -Help? MORGAN: No.
DEVON: A little help here.
-No, you're under arrest.
I can't help you.
LESTER: This is the law.
-The law.
-We're not gonna go against the law.
-Be gentle with him.
Oh, my.
Are you kidding me? I know the guys probably put you up to this.
But we really don't have to be alone in here.
We just-- Oh, my.
-Wait, wait.
-Why don't you just take this off? That way, nothing's gonna come between us.
I can't.
I lose it and I, uh-- I get fired.
Ooh.
DEVON: No, no, no.
Hold on.
Hold on, stop.
Stop.
I love my fiancée.
I would never do anything to jeopardize that.
I guess romance is alive and well and living in Burbank.
[TRANQ GUN FIRES THEN DEVON GRUNTS] No, no, no.
I said no tranqing.
That is not no tranqing.
Can't you keep your stinking CIA darts out of people? [GROANS] Good work.
Now I can access the area and plant the bug before Ahmad's surgery.
-I'm trying to sell it for the friends.
-Whoa, have I no rights? You can't just go around willy-nilly, knocking out my family members.
-Looks like we can.
-Sarah never would've done this.
-You've gone too far.
-Back off.
-What are you gonna do? -I'm calling the general.
-Is that so? -No one's calling.
This 49-B stuff is over.
From now on, the only person I work with is Sarah.
Walker's gone.
She's been dismissed.
What? -What are you talking about? -I'm your new handler.
[PHONE VIBRATING] BECKMAN: With the use of Dr.
Woodcomb's card key Major Casey entered the hospital's restricted area and planted the GLG-4000 on Ahmad's pacemaker.
-General Beckman? -One moment, Mr.
Bartowski.
Turn up the volume.
[HEARTBEAT POUNDING] -That is the sound of success.
-General? Soon Ahmad and his men will be on their way back to Khalid's Afghani hideout and we can begin our covert surveillance in earnest.
General, I understand this is an important mission, I do.
But what about Sarah? How can she be gone? -It's the way it is.
-No.
Why didn't you tell me that this could happen? I was under the impression Forrest was here to evaluate Sarah.
-You lied to me.
-It's a job, Chuck.
No, for you it's a job.
For me, it's my life.
BECKMAN: We disclosed everything that was pertinent to you.
That's the way the National Security Agency operates.
Get used to it.
I'm gonna go clean my weapons.
[GROANS] [COMPUTER BEEPS] When it comes to security, one can never be too cautious.
[BEEPING] Who is Rashad's doctor? One of his surgeons put a bug inside him.
Dr.
Devon Woodcomb.
You two go bring me the doctor.
When the doctor woke up this morning, he didn't know that today-- I'm gonna die.
Oh, my God, I'm going to die.
I would love to feel sorry for you, but you brought this one on yourself.
How'd I get so wasted? I don't remember a thing.
Well, you drank a little bit, you cut loose.
No harm done.
I remember our neighbor John Casey carrying you home at 4 in the morning smelling like booze and cheap hairspray.
Does that ring a bell for you? Honey, I mean, please, don't even say the word bell.
-Honey? -Huh? -Did I have my key card on me last night? ELLIE: What? -Did you take my key card off me or not? -No, I didn't take your key card off.
-I'm sure it's here somewhere.
-Oh, God.
It's always around your neck, under your shirt.
-Why did your shirt come off? -Uh.
Do you want to tell me if your pants stayed on? Ellie, please, will you just help me look for the key card? Guys, guys, it'll turn up.
I just know it.
Yeah, I'm really sorry that you don't remember what happened last night.
I hope whatever it was, it was worth it.
Dude, I wish I had a do-over for last night.
I'd take it all back.
Can you believe Walker? -What about her? -Being all wrapped up in the asset.
Clearly her feelings have jeopardized your missions.
You must be relieved that she's gone.
Things can now finally be professional.
Agent Forrest, for the record, I-- [HEARTBEAT STOPS THEN ALARM BLARES] -Something's wrong with our equipment-- -Or something's wrong with Ahmad.
Hey, Casey, it's me.
Look, we gotta get Awesome his key card or he's gonna be in trouble.
MAN: We must find this doctor at once.
Which one is his apartment? CHUCK: Oh, this is not awesome.
Very not awesome.
Okay.
[POUNDING ON DOOR] Hi, I'm Dr.
Woodcomb.
Can I--? [MUFFLED GRUNTS] [BEEPING] Government issue.
Doesn't make any-- This-- Oh, my God, it smells like heaven.
Okay, that means either someone's baking sugar cookies or that is-- -Morgan.
-Ellie.
-I need to ask you a favor.
-Anything.
-Anything.
You can have my first-born.
-Heh.
I need to know what happened last night at Devon's bachelor party.
Come on, El, you can't ask me that.
There's a bro code.
Please, Morgan.
I'm sorry, I can't.
I have to lock it down.
I just-- That's what I-- Listen to me, I.
-Oh, my God.
LESTER: I know.
Can you believe our first bachelor party was so freaking awes--? Ellie.
Wait, wait, wait, Ellie.
Ellie.
Ellie.
Ellie.
Elizabeth.
Eleanor.
Elton.
[GRUNTS] -I got nothing.
-Me neither.
Casey, I can't get in.
I don't have access.
-She's off the assignment.
-Look, I think Chuck's in trouble.
He never goes anywhere without his phone.
CASEY: She's right.
Now, Forrest, I was gonna say earlier, I disagree with your assessment.
-About what? -Walker.
She's a pro.
Not only that, she's the best damn partner I ever had.
I found this when I went to say goodbye to Chuck.
Which directly disobeyed an order.
You were fired for exactly this reason.
Then there's nothing stopping me from kicking your ass.
FORREST: Chuck's in the courtyard.
He's fine.
We lost the signal from Ahmad's heart.
Gotta be a connection between the disappearance and Chuck's.
Isn't the GLG-4000 specifically designed to track deep inside the Afghani caves? You'd need six feet of steel to block that signal.
This is the last location his heart registered before going off-grid.
Overlay the satellite image.
SARAH: Wait a minute.
CASEY: A bank vault.
-Yeah, that would do it.
CASEY: Good work, Walker.
Okay, Dr.
Woodcomb.
Time for you to remove the bug you placed inside my friend.
If you don't save him nothing can save you.
The patient is now fully under.
[CLEARS THROAT] Cool, cool.
Good, good.
Well done there.
That's how we do things.
I'm gonna need to take a minute just so that I can center myself, if you will.
I, uh, need a mellow headspace when I operate.
-It's how-- -Quit stalling, Dr.
Woodcomb.
I'm out of practice, honestly.
Maybe if you could do it? Cut him open, or I'll cut you open.
Oh! Ow! Argh.
Oh, my God.
I'm bleeding.
-Oh, my God, I'm bleeding.
I'm bleeding.
-Come on.
I'm sorry.
I get woozy at the sight of blood.
-A surgeon who's afraid of blood? -I know.
Little ironic, right? [SILENCED GUNSHOT] SARAH: Chuck.
-Get the door.
Get the door.
Get the door.
SARAH: Chuck.
-Who the hell is Chuck? -Huh? Chuck? No clue.
I have no clue.
-I'm-- I am Dr.
Woodcomb.
-Oh, yeah? Or Devon or doc or sometimes Captain Awesome.
But I have no idea who this Chuck is.
-Oh, you mean that Chuck.
-You're a dead man, Chuck.
[GRUNTING] Now Chuck is locked inside with Interpol's most wanted.
It is your job to protect him, damn it.
I've got nitroglycerin and a blasting cap in the van.
-I'll have this door off in no time.
-Hold on.
I saw a nitrous setup in there.
You're gonna bust the door open and kill Chuck.
Come on.
Come on.
What makes you think he's not already dead? Come here.
Aah! Aah! [YELLS] [ZAMIR CHUCKLING] What? What? What is it? I forgot why I was mad at you.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] I was.
I was gonna cut you.
That's odd.
I think I hear Chuck laughing.
-Here, give me the walkie.
-I'll handle it.
You're lying.
No, I'm not.
Think about it.
Ladybugs can't all be ladies.
I mean, that's just crazy.
How would we get little ladybugs, know what I mean? FORREST [OVER RADIO]: Chuck, can you hear me? Oh, your pocket's talking.
Hey, can I get that? -Yeah, get it.
-All right, thank you.
-Hi.
Oh, hi.
-Hi.
Hi, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm also high from nitrous, but so is my man Zamir here, so-- I'm not coming out until you find Sarah and you bring her back.
That's right.
Stand your ground.
Like Hassan Khalid.
Hey, where is that guy, anyway? Because I haven't seen him around.
He's in the Eastern Karakorum caves.
-All right.
-Yeah.
-Good for him.
-Nobody knows.
CHUCK [OVER RADIO]: He's a bad dude.
-Hey, Chuck, turn off the gas, idiot.
-You inhale too much of that, it'll kill you.
-We're gonna die.
[BOTH LAUGHING] You're gonna die.
Open this door right now.
-No.
Look, I'm not listening to you, okay? -This isn't working.
I can't risk this going any further.
I'm getting the nitro.
Forrest, we can do this your way or we can actually save the asset.
Look at that.
-Chuck, get up.
-Sarah.
[HISSING STOPS] Is it really you or am I super stoned? Uh, both.
Heh.
BECKMAN: Both Rashad Ahmad and Dr.
Zamir are in custody.
Though the mission didn't go according to plan Chuck was able to ascertain the hidden location of terrorist Hassan Khalid.
-Thank you, Agent Forrest.
-Just doing my job, general.
Agent Walker, despite your heroism you have directly disobeyed several orders-- CHUCK: Wait, general.
Um.
I'm sorry, but isn't the important part of being my handler making sure I stay alive? -It's okay, Chuck.
-No, it's not.
Let him finish.
Thanks.
Um, general, what I'm trying to say is that I think that maybe because my relationship with Sarah is so.
You know, we're close.
We care about each other.
That's why I'm trying to say.
And I know it's not protocol or whatever but it's those feelings that wound up saving my life.
Agent Forrest diagnosed your emotional connection as a liability.
But I suppose it can also be an asset to the, well, asset.
You may resume your post, Agent Walker.
We hope not to see you too soon, Agent Forrest.
That's all.
Um.
No, this isn't what you think.
Yes, it is, Chuck.
It's exactly what I think it is.
I can't believe that you were covering for him.
Nothing happened.
He didn't do anything.
I swear it.
Chuck, I saw the photos, okay? I'm sorry.
I know you're trying to protect him.
Bro code, whatever.
But, Chuck, I am your sister.
You're supposed to protect me.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR] Hey, Sarah.
I am freaking out, okay? I don't know who to talk to.
I don't wanna get you in trouble.
It's okay.
This is my residence.
-There is no surveillance.
-I don't know what to do.
Ever since you guys rolled into town, my life has been spinning out of control.
My whole world is about juggling lies.
It's like this.
I bet this is a what? A submachine gun? No, it dries my hair.
Okay, fine.
But everything else is completely screwed up.
I just wanna be able to tell Ellie the truth.
About who I am and what I do.
I can't believe how much the United States government has hurt the people that I love.
Well, maybe it's time for the United States government to help you.
Chuck.
You saved my life, man.
Thanks for finding my key card.
Dude? Special Agent Carmichael? Well, you, uh, probably had to break a few rules, huh? Go on.
Knock.
I couldn't find him.
The man didn't want to be found.
I mean, you had to illegally access the government's master database to-- Chuck it'll be good to see him.
I'm sorry.
[DOOR OPENS] Dad?