Chuck s04e01 Episode Script

Chuck Versus the Anniversary

ÿþ1 "And the king was freed, and the castle was restored.
and the Frost Queen returned home once more.
This time, she was a hero.
And the Frost Queen promised her children.
that she would never, ever leave them again.
" - Good story? - I liked it.
The prince was cool.
Yes, he was, just like my little Chuck.
- Mom.
- Yeah? Are you going away again? Just for a few days, then right back to you and Ellie.
Good night, honey.
Love you.
Not nearly as much as I love you.
My mom was a spy.
After she disappeared, my father spent the rest of his life trying to find her.
Ellie and I thought she left us, that she just walked away.
But what if we were wrong? I need your help.
I need you to help me find my mom.
Holy cow.
I cannot believe this was beneath your house.
This is nuts.
A secret spy base, and it's got lasers and gadgets and neatly organized files.
Why don't you just tell Casey and Sarah? I know they're gonna try and stop me.
They cannot.
Why my mom left, why she never came back.
- This is my search.
- No, it's our search.
I'm in.
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
- Are you flexing? - What? No.
- I'm just kind of excited.
- Okay, good, good.
I can't even tell you how much I appreciate your help.
We cannot tell anyone, not a soul.
Not Sarah, not Casey, not Awesome, not Ellie.
Not Ellie.
I know.
You promised her you weren't gonna be a spy.
So she clearly cannot know about our little rogue spy team here.
Outside of the government, secret to the spy world.
Team of two, army of one, highway to the danger zone, live free or die.
- Buddy.
- Yeah? This is not the opening of a TV show.
This is real life.
- Is this the gun you were looking for? - Yes.
Got everything, dude.
You ready to go? She's still here? Hurry up.
Yeah? You're the best.
Thank you so much.
- Spy mission without me.
- Couples do this all the time, right? It's just a business trip.
- You okay with this? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Um, I got job interviews, and Morgan and I will spend quality time.
He signed us up for a go-kart racing league, so.
Come home soon.
Ugh, I'm gonna be sick.
Walker, we got real work to do, like save the free world.
Enjoy retirement, Bartowski.
- What am I, uh.
? What do I say? - "I love you.
" That's good, "I love you.
" I like that.
I love you too.
Be safe, okay? Nothing is gonna keep me from coming back to you.
Better not.
Carmichael, we're all set.
I have our tickets, cloned passports, money belts.
Let's do this.
Back in the game.
Me and you, real spies.
We need sunblock.
Excuse me.
Very sorry.
- Pardon me.
- Aah! Agh.
I knew it.
I was right.
My mom's safe house.
This is where she got all her missions when I was a kid.
Speaking as the bookkeeper for our joint account.
it might've been more affordable if we started here and then traveled the world.
Yeah, well, we didn't really know about here, now, did we? - You got the code, buddy? - Yeah.
Yeah, code, code, code.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
Oh, uh, if we get a second, we need to have a budget conversation.
Hey, Morgan, not now.
This is it.
My dad never made it this far.
Okay, Mom, where are you? And it's not empty, right? Please tell me that it's not empty.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
All the intel led right back here.
No, no, no.
There's gotta be something.
There's gotta be a.
A secret compartment, you know? Or a passageway, or some clue that finally leads us to my mom.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
There's nothing.
Okay, so we didn't find your mom.
but, uh, maybe we found a new dumpling house, huh? All right, well, I don't know.
Let's pack it up, uh, head home.
fuel up on some dumplings, and we start again from scratch, okay? Now, we can do this, you and I.
All right.
- We got close this time.
- I know we're gonna find her.
Oh, Chuck.
Talk to me, buddy, you know? Let it out.
You wanna cry, go for it.
I got two good shoulders.
What are we doing? Why are we even bothering looking for my mom? My dad ruined his life trying to find her.
She could've come back anytime she wanted to.
We're easy to find.
Her, not so much.
I'm done, man.
I think I'm done.
Uh, listen, we have to try, right? - Don't move, Chuck.
- Get over here.
- Morgan, Morgan, Morgan.
- Coming, coming.
Give me them keys.
Yeah, here you go, sir.
Here they are.
Here are your keys.
Just please don't shoot me or Chuck.
Look, if this has anything to do with my mom or Albania or Tangiers.
or that café in Budapest.
- That was not his fault.
- Anyway, we have explanations for them.
What are you talking about? I'm here for the car.
I'm a repo man.
Repo man.
Morgan? Right.
We haven't made a payment in four months.
- The car cost $900.
- Yeah, but we're $43,000 in debt.
- I was gonna.
- Wait.
What? What? 43 what? Thousand dollars' debt, and that's above the CIA money you had saved up.
Being a spy is really expensive.
- Why didn't you tell me? - You were so busy looking for your mom.
All right, enough chitchat.
Get away from that car.
Uh, Chuck, give him a little.
You know what I mean? Intersect style.
I don't do kung fu anymore.
You got some chop-socky, boy? No.
No chop-socky here, sir.
Fresh out of chop-socky.
- Take the car.
- That's what I thought.
My advice, get a job.
Working on it.
You know, Chuck, this does not happen to real spies.
I'm cornered.
What do I do? Use the device.
Make a move and you're dead, Marco.
Please, make a move.
I thought you said the EMP was a fake.
- I was wrong.
- Beautiful, isn't it? Volkoff Industries' handheld EMP generator.
Will fry every electric circuit in a three-klick radius.
Volkoff's upping the ante.
The building elevators are knocked out.
Volkoff's agents will be here in minutes.
You're trapped.
Put down your guns.
He really should be here.
Chuck's the Intersect.
Could use him on a mission like this.
I hate cracking into computer systems.
Well, he made a promise to his sister.
Chuck doesn't wanna be a spy and have to lie about it.
Your boyfriend needs some big-boy pants.
He's a spy, he's good at it.
I know, Casey, you miss him too.
What? I don't miss him.
Don't move.
Stay where you are.
Oh, by the way, good idea to bring the chutes.
Thank you.
Yes, nice.
I like this.
But less back.
Maybe just kind of, uh.
Hold that.
Right there, this whole sleepy confusion thing.
- That's digital sex right there.
- What are you doing? Putting the spark back in your relationship.
Sarah's gonna love these.
Actually, if you don't mind, hit the peck deck a little bit.
Oh, and, uh, a little baby oil, please.
- Lube it up.
- What? Ba.
? Ba.
? - What? No, no, no.
- Lube it up.
- Whatever you're doing, please stop.
- Okay.
I know you're down about your mom, Chuck.
Let's you and I have a little talk right now, man to man.
Man-to-man talk.
What are you doing in my room with baby oil? More importantly, you and Sarah.
Every morning, you wake up missing her, acting like a sad sack.
I understand.
You're stuck in this long-distance relationship that's short on intimacy.
That's okay.
It's all right.
But what you need to do is open your mind to what sex truly is.
It's sexting.
Yeah, short for "sext writing.
" It's intimacy for people in your situation.
- Sexting.
- Sexting.
- Sexting.
- Sexting.
The terrible ideas are out of the way.
I told Ellie about the job hunt.
She's lined up five interviews for today.
I'll grab our bus passes.
But, uh, remember, um, sexting.
Oh, yeah, sex talk.
No, not gonna happen.
Good luck on the job hunt.
Fine, I'll do it myself.
I am so glad you could come in.
You know, with a résumé like this.
and a degree from Stanford, it's astounding you haven't been snatched up.
Snatch me up.
I'm 100 percent snatchable.
I don't use the word "snatch" often, for a myriad of reasons.
Why are you so nervous? Ah.
You know, I'm not normally.
I'm normally a smooth operator.
Like Sade.
But today has been a strange, uh, day of interviews.
Really? Well, how? Well, for starters, um, have you ever had anyone fall asleep in an interview? Um, just after that, the person sitting in your position got a little ill.
Just after that, the interviewer started going into convulsions.
The last interview I just came from.
they told me they were going for a cup of coffee, and then they never came back.
I mean, how long does it take to get coffee? - That's really crazy.
- Yeah.
Well, um, I think, Chuck, that I have some good news for you.
- Good.
- Yeah.
How would you like to join.
? Oh.
I thought I told them to hold my calls.
Uh, I don't think it's a good idea to answer.
Hello? Yes.
It's about you.
What? Is everything okay? What's happening? Who is that? Uh.
Unfortunately, Mr.
Bartowski, the position has been filled.
What's happening? Who was that? And I'm going to have Security escort you from the building.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hang on a second.
What did I do? Who was that? Perhaps I could explain whatever the situation is.
This is completely uncalled for.
Look on the bright side, Chuck.
Bus has much more legroom than the hatchback.
- There's a conspiracy against me.
- I feel that way after a bad interview.
Except with me, the conspiracy has been going on a lot longer.
Like kindergarten.
What am I supposed to do now? These were Ellie's best leads.
Where am I gonna find a job? Well, there's always one place.
Where? I can't believe it's back, Chuck.
It's beautiful.
I can't believe how fast they rebuilt it.
Oh, my.
- Lord.
- Welcome to the Buy More.
We're not open yet.
But we are currently accepting résumés.
- Are you interested? - For what? - A job.
- Maybe.
What, uh, types of positions are available? I'm sure the store manager can help you with that.
- Have at it.
- Good luck.
So nervous.
Do you want me to show you around? Yes, that would be delightful.
Should I hold your hand? - No, you should not.
- Okay, lead on.
My name is Chuck Bartowski, and, uh, it's funny, I used to work here.
You still do work here.
Hello, Chuck.
Welcome back.
Beckman had kittens when I told her about the EMP.
She wants us to find Volkoff's building so we can blow the place up.
Another mission? We've been at it for months.
And I haven't seen Chuck in forever.
There's something else.
Beckman wants Chuck to come here, take a look at the EMP, see if he flashes.
Well, Chuck is a civilian now.
We can't force him to be a spy, can we? You might wanna tell Beckman that yourself.
Oh, Chuck.
As you can see, we spared no expense re-creating the Buy More.
Um, yeah, uh, general, I appreciate the tour and all.
It's no longer simply a retail store.
It's now a full-fledged CIA-NSA substation.
We can patch into security cameras all over the world.
Satellite relay, NORAD, NASA, the Joint Chiefs.
Hit that red button, we go to DEFCON 1.
Is that, uh, really the safest place to put that, out in the open? - There's a laser-based security system.
- This is crazy.
- You realize this is crazy.
- No, it's not.
After the success of Operation Bartowski.
the president made you a priority.
I beg your pardon? The "president" president? Like the actual? You.
You're being totally ser.
- I am out of the spy game.
- You're out when I say you're out.
If memory serves, you actually said, "Chuck, you are out of the spy game.
" I changed my mind.
You're back, discussion over.
And don't think you're going to find another job.
Why? You, you, you.
That was you on the phone, wasn't it? You tanked my interviews, didn't you? Oh.
Hi, Sarah.
Back in town? - Listen, you do not have to be a spy.
- Oh, no, no.
I know, yeah.
Beckman just offered me a position and I turned her down.
- How did she react? - Well, she.
Whoa! - Chuck, hello? - Aah! Hey.
- That went well, I think.
- I'm sorry.
- I should have called, but we just got in.
- No, it's fine.
Because you're here and I'm here.
- And I miss you a lot.
- Mm.
I miss you too.
- This is the mission that just won't end.
- It's important work.
But you're here now.
At least for a little while, right? - Few weeks? Days? Hours? - Okay, enough sap.
- Hey.
Sarah, what.
? - Take a look at the mission at hand.
Well? Thanks, Casey.
EMP, uh, manufactured in Venezuela, the Corta Verona facility.
which is a subsidiary of Volkoff Industries.
Who's Volkoff? Don't tell me.
Alexei Volkoff.
Arms dealer, recluse.
He's like the Russian Howard Hughes.
We've been chasing after him for months.
And with that single flash, we might just be able to take him down.
- Good to have you back.
- Oh, I'm not staying.
- I think he misses you.
Misses the flash.
- Oh, I know.
This is nuts, man.
The Buy More is being run by the CIA.
Which would make you a spy, huh? - You are very perceptive, Mr.
- Yeah, guilty.
I gotta say, the new Castle is pretty freaking sweet.
And it's nice to be back down in here with you.
- Can we talk? - Of course, anytime.
About what? Well, I know this is awkward, but, um, I just have to ask about the picture.
What, uh.
? What picture? - Hi-oh.
- Chuck, do you wanna sext with me? Ah.
No, I don't.
I mean.
No, no.
Uh, this.
This isn't my idea.
It's clearly not my idea.
This was Morgan's doing.
Don't worry.
I thought it was cute.
Here's the thing.
I don't know if you know this.
Uh, I was an agent a little while last year.
What if we got together, maybe showed each other a few moves? You know, I have a trip to Thailand in the morning.
- Mm.
Sure, sure.
- It's a new mission.
- Oh, of course, it's the life of a.
- I could show you something right now.
- Really? Yeah.
- You know? Ahem.
So six/nine-month anniversary.
What do you think? Well, I have to go away again.
But when I come back, we will celebrate in style.
No phones necessary.
- Unless you want.
- No.
I don't even know what that means.
Forget I ever said that.
Hey, hey, hey, what is this? The emblem? That's Volkoff's.
He is not afraid to advertise.
I have to go debrief with Beckman and Casey.
- But we'll talk later? - Yeah, great.
- Mm.
- Mm.
New Buy More rules.
Slides and trapdoors and the new super spy/Nerd Herder Greta.
Be still, my beating heart.
She digs me, I can tell.
- Morgan.
- Mm-hm.
We need to get the car back.
With the creepy guy? Okay.
I'm sorry.
Again, tell me why we're here.
This menu is linked to an arms dealer? Look, I thought the last mission was a bust, okay? But the menu could be the link that brings us to my mom.
Maybe she was after Volkoff like Sarah.
Okay, I'll get the menu, we get out of here quietly.
Yes, yes, quick and quiet.
There it is.
Aah! Whoa.
You young, oversexed, underworked kids.
You don't mess with a repo man.
Not ever.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Repo-Man, sir.
We are not here to mess with you.
Morgan, get the.
- Get the menu.
Get the.
- Whoa, repo man.
- Excuse me just for one second.
- I'm gonna just very slowly.
- There we go.
- Perfect.
- This is all we want, then we're leaving.
- You want a menu? For what? - Chinese.
- Dumplings.
Yeah? Good place? - No.
- No.
I wouldn't say.
I like good Chinese.
Hard to find, though.
Hand it over.
You remember how we got out of that jam in Tangiers? - Think it'll work? - "Tangiers.
" What does that mean? It means that we need to run! Run, run, run! Damn you! I love dumplings.
It's really weird.
Most of these are just your run-of-the-mill dishes.
But a few of these I haven't even heard of before.
Which ones? Which dishes? For example, this Shimira Chicken.
Okay, Shimira is actually a nav system for spy subs.
This is not a menu for ordering food.
This is a menu for ordering weapons.
? Why would your mom have that? - Let's call and find out.
- Use your dad's encrypted phone.
- Ahem.
- Ahem.
Who is this? Identify.
This is Carmichael.
I work for The Ring.
The Ring was eliminated.
We are an offshoot of The Ring.
The New Ring.
I'm the head of security.
I'll need to see your organization firsthand if we agree to work.
Then you have to come to Volkoff Industries in Moscow.
Moscow, Russia.
Not a problem.
The New Ring has very deep pockets.
- We're going to Russia.
- Okay.
I'm gonna have to sell my Millennium Falcon.
Then God bless you.
- Are you still there? - Yes, I'm here.
Just tell me when and where.
We have a jet on standby.
Okay, so we ID Volkoff's facility.
and we can take it out with a single drone strike.
Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? No.
I either leave or they die.
I'm going to the head.
Please fasten your seatbelts.
We're heading into a bit of turbulence.
Release the gas.
and I'll reroute the flight to Moscow.
Where are we? Well, desolation, frostbite.
Must be Russia.
Welcome to Volkoff Industries.
Glad you could finally make it.
Take a load off, relax.
and think about all the terrible things that we'll do to you.
We're pros, Marco.
Your methods won't work on us.
Remember, I work for Volkoff.
I must break you.
Remember the plan.
Access the Volkoff computer system and see what they have on my mom.
- Does that make sense? - Completely.
- Although, I think my face is still frozen.
- Okay.
We're with The Ring.
The New Ring.
This is Charles Carmichael.
I'm Michael Carmichael.
So if you wouldn't mind.
Frigid in here as well.
The plan was for me to be Carmichael and you to be Sven, my mute assistant.
Here's the thing.
These people respect a beard.
And the whole assistant thing, I see us more as brothers.
Is that so? Okay, okay, fine.
What parents in their right mind.
would name their child Michael if their last name was Carmichael? - What were your parents thinking? - What were our parents thinking? You know, it's what people in the movie business call improv.
Nice photo.
Good work, Walker.
Get the phone.
I know where the server is.
It's not far.
If my father's codes still work, we should get in.
What do you think? Um, maybe drop a little Intersect style on these fools.
Karate chop your way in.
I will hide behind the receptionist desk.
Yeah, that, or we could just run really fast.
Tangiers? Here? - Tangiers, exactly.
- Ah, could work.
Pick up the case.
One, two, three.
Here we go.
Hurry up.
Come on.
- Come on.
- Almost got it.
I've never run so fast in so many layers before.
- Game time.
- Yep.
- This place is nuts.
- Yeah, it's a Cold War relic, buddy.
Oh, dude.
What is this? Morgan, that's an EMP.
So I wouldn't touch that.
- This is an EMP? - Yes, it is.
No touching, Morgan.
Gotcha, gotcha.
Good work, Walker.
Call Beckman.
No, I can't call.
It's gonna be too loud.
I'll text Chuck.
I was texting before.
- Your phone.
- Yeah, I'm kind of busy right now.
I'll get it for you.
She's sexting you.
- Not now, Morgan.
- Gotcha.
Go on, milady.
- What does he say? - He thinks we're sexting.
What? What does that even mean? "SOS.
" SOS.
Skin on skin.
Yes, please.
Oh, come on.
- He still thinks we're sexting.
- You kiss your mom with those thumbs? Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Daddy likes.
Oh, you're in trouble.
Daddy likes.
Hey, someone's coming.
We're inside Volkoff, Subbasement 4.
Tell him.
Got it.
Bypassed their security.
I'm in.
Awesome, awesome.
- Anything? - Nothing coming up with her name.
I'm checking aliases, missions Dad thought she went on, weapons she was after.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Wait a minute.
" Frost.
The Frost Queen.
My mom used to tell me stories about the Frost Queen.
- That can't be it.
- Either way, let's download and get out.
It's encrypted.
It's encrypted.
But I have a program that can hack it.
- And then we can download it.
- Right.
Wait a minute.
Oh, crap.
- What? - It's Sarah.
But it's.
I thought she was sexting, dude.
She's here with Casey, and they're in trouble.
What do we do? Call Beckman.
Beckman or CIA or the Marines, because someone's gotta save them.
Who's gonna save them? We are.
Enough with the toes.
No one's coming.
I would love nothing more than to put bullets in both your heads.
Yeah, go ahead and do it.
Don't jabber, just do it.
The problem is you're not the two agents I'm looking for.
In the past six months, two CIA agents.
have gotten closer to Volkoff Industries than any other spy.
They're ghosts.
They expertly use public transportation to avoid being tracked.
So tell me.
who are these master spies? - No idea.
- Never seen them.
Morgan, this way.
Back, back, back.
Got them.
They're in the building.
They're here.
They must have come for you.
Well, that's their first mistake.
This entire building is a trap.
So, buddy, how rusty is your kung fu? I haven't used it in months.
So you want to speak to your friend? Chuck, what's going on? What are you doing here? I know you must have a lot of questions, and I promise I will explain later.
You've gotta flash.
You've gotta get out.
- I've heard enough.
- This is a mistake.
He's not a spy.
- Kill them.
- No, please, no.
Chuck? Well, it all seemed a bit anticlimactic.
I'm gonna tear you limb from limb from limb.
Okay, I got it.
Somebody please shoot this guy.
Hello? Yes, who is it? Look, you clearly have no idea who I am.
You only sent 10 of your men to take care of me.
If you touch one hair on Sarah's head.
I will do to you what I've just done to your men.
Understand? I'm coming down there right now.
- Scary enough? - I'm scared.
I was scared when you.
Rusty? You're not rusty at all.
You are limber.
I suggest you start running, right about now.
Follow me.
That hurts.
I'm so out of spy shape.
What the hell are you doing here? Saving your lives, okay? Let's just go with that for now.
- Ahem, I'm good.
- Cut me free.
- I got some Russians to kill.
- Not yet.
There's one more thing I have to do.
I'm waiting for you, and I don't like to wait.
Boss, the Americans have escaped.
Chuck, why are we here? The computer? This is what you came here for? Look, Sarah, I have to tell you the truth.
I took over my father's search for my mom.
She's a spy.
I thought I could find her, save her, bring her home.
- You should've told me.
- You would've tried to stop me.
Of course.
I don't want you to get hurt.
Sarah, I have to do this.
This is my mom, okay? I need to know the truth.
No lying.
That was our rule.
In all fairness, I was just, you know, keeping a secret.
I wasn't lying.
No secrets, no lies.
- Starting now.
- Starting now.
Great, you've made up.
How do we get out of here? You can't get out.
This is a living building, totally automated.
The security system is activated.
If you die, you die.
That sounds ominous.
Hope the file was worth it, Chuck.
We're sitting ducks in here.
Sorry, Mom.
- Chuck, what are you doing? - I set off the EMP.
It disables the building.
We walk out of here.
But the computer, you'll lose the file.
You might never find your mom.
Yeah, well, it's not worth losing you.
Any of you.
Yeah, we get it.
Pull the trigger.
Okay, great.
Great plan.
Now what? Now we deploy the best commie rifle ever invented, comrade AK-47.
Move it, move it.
Let's go, let's go.
- Everybody alive? - I'm okay, I'm okay.
A little cold, but.
Anyone that matters? Where's the getaway car? Happy anniversary? Happy anniversary.
So that's it.
That's the whole story.
Well, I'm just peeved you didn't ask us for help.
I'm sorry.
Will you help me find my mom? Yes.
Yes, of course.
Chuck, you know what this means.
You're gonna have to rejoin the agency and be a spy.
I know.
The question is, do we tell Beckman about my mom? No, not yet.
Chuck, what about your sister? What are you gonna tell Ellie? I have to tell her the truth.
I have to tell her that I am a spy.
- Chuck.
- Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
That's okay.
How are you? - The interview didn't go well? - No, none of them, really.
There's something that I have to do, Ellie.
It's okay, Chuck.
I know.
- What? - I saw the new Buy More.
Uh, right, yeah.
I did get a job there.
- Ellie, I'm not.
That's not.
- It's okay, Chuck.
It's a job.
Those are really hard to come by these days, so.
My turn.
Sit down.
What's up? I'm pregnant.
What? Are you.
? What? Seriously? I was gonna wait until Devon got home, but I saw you and I had to tell you.
- Oh, my God.
Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
Oh, my God, I'm so happy for you.
Oh, my God, I'm hugging you.
- Did I hurt the baby? - Stop.
- Have I hurt the child? - Chuck.
- Oh, my God, that's amazing.
- I'm really happy right now, Chuck.
I mean, I'm starting a family.
a new family, and you have Sarah, and you're safe, and just.
I'm really so happy right now.
I couldn't tell her, not now.
She doesn't want me to be a spy.
but our dad gave me this mission to find our mom, to know the truth.
I can't not do this.
I have to do this.
That's not being a spy, that's being a brother.
I cracked into the deep database for your mom.
and this is all I could find.
Look at the top of the page.
- She was captured? - Yeah.
And there's nothing else after that.
This whole time, Ellie and I thought that our mom left us.
because she didn't care about us.
But she was taken.
Are you gonna tell Ellie? No.
No, not yet.
If my mom is still alive, I'm gonna find her and bring her home.
Why did you bring me here? Found out some interesting information about you.
Someone's looking for you.
Who? Your family.
Have you told Volkoff anything? No, I told him nothing.
That's good.
That is very, very good.
Please, I have a family.
So do I.