Club De Cuervos (2015) s03e08 Episode Script


1 A PAIR OF TITS PULLS STRONGER THAN A PAIR OF WAGONS SOCCER NATION It's been 12 weeks since the season started, but the Cuervos have only accumulated the incredible amount of eight points.
They are at the bottom of the scoreboard.
That's right, ever since Zombie had a heart attack in the middle of a game, the Cuervos have lost the last four games.
The team seems to be completely lost, there's no leadership, and I can't feel anything but a lack of effort and a lack of push from their best player, Moisés Suárez.
Where are you, Moisés? And if they don't start winning soon, they risk going back to Second Division.
What are they going to do, buy another place? We are a little better, Isabel.
Pepenador is playing a little better.
Yes, but Moisés keeps doing his own thing.
-There's nothing I can do with that dude.
-There's still one more thing we can do.
Suárez, I want to apologize for making fun of your talent and leadership.
I want to apologize for disrespecting you.
I want to apologize for not valuing your talent as I should have.
It's okay, Pepenador.
I want to apologize for what happened during training.
I lost control.
And I also want to apologize for biting you.
It's okay, it doesn't hurt anymore.
-And your toothbrush.
-What about my toothbrush? I've been using it for the last three days.
And it's best if you go to the doctor, because I have bad gingivitis.
-I'm sorry, Moisés.
-It's all good.
No worries.
-Forgive me.
-It's okay, dude.
How are you doing? Amazing.
-I'm sorry, Moi.
-Can I use your bathroom? I hope it was worth it that I had to grovel like that.
It will be, Fede.
And the Cuervos finish with the Tigres as they should, like real flyers.
We don't need an Argentinean player, we don't need a French player, 100 percent Mexican.
That's right, from Nuevo Toledo to the world Boom, these are the Cuervos! -Cheers, cheers! -Cheers! -Great game! -And in the second half, dude.
How did you make that "Carenka" penalty? -"Panenka," dude, "Panenka.
" -Same thing! Good job, man.
You really did great.
We all did.
I'll introduce you to my mom.
-Doesn't your mother have AIDS? -Hey, there's the commercial.
Hey, this is Moi's commercial.
-Raise the volume! -Raise it, will you? No matter storms, fires, volcanoes or rain.
This Saturday, come and support Mexico against Uruguay.
Are you also going to film one that actually shows you, Moi? A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES When I tell you, honey, okay? "We buy mattresses, drums, fridges, kitchen stoves, washers" Or anything made of old iron you may have to sell! Salvador Iglesias, the patriarch of Nuevo Toledo, after opening a perfume factory, and creating dozens of jobs, also created a foundry, and afterwards, the first and only potash mine in Mexico, at Santa Pía Ranch.
And now, after buying the Cuervos of Nuevo Toledo, Salvador Iglesias and his family, Gloria and Isabel Iglesias, the first family of Nuevo Toledo, promise to take the Cuervos to First Division by the time the first stadium of First Division is completed in Nuevo Toledo.
The Cuervos will always be in Nuevo Toledo 'cause Nuevo Toledo is for the Cuervos, and the Cuervos are from Nuevo Toledo! Please, let's give a warm welcome to this beautiful woman, Vanessa Villalobos.
Welcome, welcome, go ahead.
How are you, people of Nuevo Toledo? What's up, Zombie? Good, good.
The doctor says I'm okay, that I just had cardiac ischemia.
-I see.
-But I'm okay now, I'm great.
-That's great.
-Don't exert yourself too much.
Don't worry, I'll go train.
-Okay, I'll see you.
-Go ahead.
-Didn't he have a heart attack? -No, no, it was cardiac ischemia.
The team is great, right? Yes, it is.
We need that idiot, Moisés.
It's the second time he hasn't come.
I know, but give him a chance.
He's ashamed, that commercial was everywhere.
We kissed his ass 'cause of you, and now we have to give him a chance.
Well, let's just let him play Saturday.
I'm sure he'll come, he knows if he doesn't I won't let him play against Uruguay.
As if he really listened to you.
You're listening to the new formula in entertainment journalism.
We continue with more information.
We have here with us the soccer player Cuauhtémoc Cruz, better known as Cuau, who recently expressed his disagreement against the 10-8 rule of soccer.
Cuau, not many people in your position, in your career, would dare to talk about this, like you.
What's your goal? For people to know how this new rule is affecting us, and that Mexican players are being kicked out -of their own league.
-Why? What trainers and directors are doing is going to other countries to hire players.
For example, in Chile, they buy a player for $300,000, and then they sell them here for 1 million.
And those 700,000 that are left up in the air and in the end are being shared by other people.
You can't do that with Mexican players, they know their price in the market.
And my question is, too, what's going on with the owners? Aren't they worried about all this corruption? It is their money, after all.
Of course.
I mean, I suppose this must bother them.
However, if they want to win, and if they're looking for players, and to be competitive, they have to play the game.
I am assuming, I do not know exactly what's going on with them.
Okay, Cuau, from what you're saying, things are very complicated.
Thank you for coming today.
We will be carefully watching your career, and your future, and especially with the reactions after your harsh statements today.
-So, good luck with everything.
-Thank you.
That was Cuauhtémoc Cruz, and we'll return after these messages with more information.
No, someone mistook him for someone else.
No, Mr.
Iglesias was never in a relationship with Aitor Cardoné.
Office of Salvador Iglesias.
No, of course not.
Iglesias never said anything about indigenous people.
Actually, he's three percent Zapoteco.
Chava, a commercial.
Say no to stupidity, say no to Chava Iglesias.
I can't anymore.
I'm tired of it, Hugo Sánchez.
I'm sick and tired of being under the limelight.
Sir, sir, calm down.
We are all ready to fix all the chaos.
We've all seen chapters of La Candidata, and we already know what to do.
I don't give a shit, though.
I need to rest.
I need to regroup.
And I need you to pay the massage therapist.
Yes, sir, I'll take care of her.
-Don't worry.
-Yes, I'm leaving, Hugo Sánchez.
No, sir.
We need you more than ever, sir.
Where are you going? Wherever.
I can't go on with this crap about Salvador for governor.
Take care of everything, make sure I'm up on the polls.
But, sir CANDIDATES' CURRENT STATUS 6 WEEKS TO ELECTION DAY Look, Ramon I have four Ubers, and 20 drivers ready for them, so, either you do your job, or you fuck yourself.
Are we clear? -Yes.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Are you going to the offices of PCI? -That's right.
-How's your day going? It's going great.
Do you know how many Ubers I had to cancel to find you? -Excuse me? -I heard you on the radio.
I was very impressed.
Would you like to be a politician? To be part of those rats? No, thanks.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
If you hate the system so much, why not change it from the inside? I'm doing it.
Really? Last I checked, Isabel and Chava Iglesias have a soccer team, and you drive an Uber.
And what would you want from me in politics? I don't know anything.
Look, son.
We are in Mexico.
You don't need to know much to be a politician.
True, but I don't have the money to fund a campaign.
We'd give it to you.
Here it is.
So, you come up, and we can talk more.
No pressure.
We'll see you, Mr.
-What are you doing here? -I needed to walk.
I wanted some fresh air.
I don't mean "here" here.
I mean here in Nuevo Toledo.
Weren't you supposed to be in your campaign? Yes, but I took a break.
I couldn't do it anymore, I was going to get a hernia from the stress.
-So, Chava, you took a break? -Yes.
Chava, do you know that Mrs.
Beatriz is ruining you with her commercials? And that you are the laughingstock of all reporters 'cause you slapped your aide? -Isabel -And you still need a break? Look, what's the point of continuing on the campaign? We are on the last spot on the boards, and we may not even have a team to return to Nuevo Toledo.
So Is this a joke? -Why? -Are you joking? Are you fucking with me? Why? I literally just lifted our team from the floor, 'cause your little bitch of a girlfriend made you fire Cuau.
She didn't make me fire Cuau, she just told me what she thought was best for the team, -and I agreed, that's all.
-You agreed? Yes.
And you also agree to change the name of our team, from the Cuervos of Nuevo Toledo, to the Cuervos of Puebla? No, why? Because she thought that the Cuervos Salvajes of Puebla sounds better than Cuervos Nuevos Salvajes of Nuevo Toledo in Pueblo.
And she did it just like that.
'Cause of her huge balls.
And you know the worst part? -What? -I couldn't fire her, 'cause her daddy saved her, the little princess.
What do you mean "fire her"? -Oh, yes.
-You were going to fire her? Are you forgetting to take your lithium? She's the daughter of one of the most important families in the country.
Or did you forget how much money they loaned us for this season? -Are you stupid? Or what? -Me? -Yes.
-I have, literally, for one month, tried to talk about this situation, to tell you what was happening, and you didn't answer.
-Not even once.
-Do you have any fucking idea of how many roads, ranches, food carts, and jungles I had to go through? You know what, Chava? I don't give a shit.
Tell your little girlfriend to stop messing with my team's name.
Otherwise, I'm going to go in person -and beat the crap out of her.
To her, and all her Pokémon friends.
How could I think that she'd get along with you? Isabel, with your charming personality.
-Go fuck yourself.
-You, too! -I'm going to the dining room! -Me, too! Carmelo, where's the Tupperware? In the kitchen.
Okay, as you all know, we've never won in this state.
And it's our priority.
We have a difficult job ahead.
Shouldn't we negotiate the terms of the deal first? What do you mean, the deal? My client's salary, his housing, his bonus.
It's not customary, but talk to Margarita.
Ask for whatever you want.
-Thank you.
-And the agent's commission, too? Okay.
Can we go back to how we'll beat Chava? Look, we already have the platform.
We just need your face and your voice.
We'll use the fact that you are a soccer idol.
We are going to sell you as the people's candidate.
As a true Mexican.
As a brown-skinned worker.
So, what's next? Your first presentation is at 3:30.
After that, we'll go to Chicopan at 5:00, and end in Toledito at 8:30.
Today? Salvador, no.
You're married.
-Don't think about it, I'll get a divorce.
-Are you sure? Does it matter? What happened, babe? You scared me.
Where were you? At the office, with Luis.
We were finishing everything for the final.
It's a lot.
So, tell me Was that before or after you fucked that slut singer that you're promoting? Gloria.
What are you talking about? -Don't pretend, Salvador.
-She's my friend.
-Your friend? -Yes, and my collaborator.
That's it.
With that story, you are together all day.
Why do you have those ideas? You've never trusted me.
Of course not, how could I? You are so obvious.
Look at the time! We can't build a marriage like this! You have to trust me! It's late, I told you I have to prepare! I break my back working every night! And at night, you always come at the same time! Well, someone has to take care of the business, right? The business? You smell like another woman! What the? Okay, Carmelo, I didn't hear you before, but now, I'll pay attention to you while I do your bed.
What happened? Nothing.
It's crazy at work.
Isabel wants to take the Cuervos to Puebla.
And obviously, Isabel wants to keep the Cuervos in Nuevo Toledo.
So, Isabel and Isabel got into a fight.
And Chava is on Isabel's side.
So, is Chava helping Isabel Cantú to take the Cuervos to Puebla? You know what, Carmelo? If we do nothing, the Cuervos will sink.
And we'll sink along with them.
I have an idea, dude.
What happened, Carmelo? I just got a call from Mr.
Chava, and he asked me if you'd like to go to an appointment with Dr.
Cathy with him.
He made the appointment? Yes, he sounded very sad, very desperate.
I think I was a little harsh with him.
Tell him yes.
I'll put it in your calendar.
What? Your turn.
Call him.
I believe in you.
Come on, Hugo Sánchez.
I believe in you.
What happened, Hugo Sánchez? I'm busy.
Yes, it's me.
Who else? I just got a call from Ms.
She wants to meet you at an appointment in therapy.
And she wants to apologize to you for not being so empathetic with you lately.
That's great.
I'm glad she's coming to her senses.
I'll put it in your calendar.
And that's all.
Over and out.
Talk soon.
Talk to you later.
Great! Hugo Sánchez! -Well done! -I'm getting dizzy.
It was too much adrenaline.
I've never lied to Mr.
Iglesias before.
-There's always a first time! -Yes.
Can I have what you're smoking? -It's just -Of course.
-What is that? -It's medicinal, sit in the rocking chair.
I have a very busy day, but I took some time to come here so that Isabel can apologize.
Apologize about what? What do you mean, what? -Wasn't this appointment about that? -Was that what Hugo Sánchez said? What a fucking liar.
He's like our idiot child that wants to get us together.
I'm taking his Wi-Fi.
Wait, wait, wait.
Let's stop focusing on how we came, and focus on therapy.
-What's going on? -Turns out Chava's little girlfriend wants to keep the Cuervos in Puebla.
Meanwhile, she changed the team's name in Facebook.
And Chava, seeing this, instead of stopping her, setting boundaries, lets her do anything.
He lets her do what she wants 'cause he wants to screw her.
-Is that true, Chava? -And that's not all.
I still have to deal with the almost teenager at the office, and Chava comes, and says he's tired and he needs to go on vacation.
-Right? -Fuck off, Isabel.
I'm tired.
I'm tired, Isabel.
Why don't you deal with the day laborers and truckers all day? Because I'm with the players all day.
Do you know what campaigning entails? Do you know what it's like? To sleep in shitty hotels, with mattresses harder than a rock, with bloody linens? Okay.
Stop bitching, stop bitching.
I have to take a cold shower every day while my publicist peeks at me.
Didn't you say you were going to fix the team? -Last I looked, we were last.
-Because you fired Cuau! Lower your voices, a yoga class below always complains about noise.
-I won't let him.
-I want to know what's happening.
Are you worried because Chava's girlfriend doesn't respect your authority? Well, yes, yes, honestly, yes.
And you, Chava, are you tired because of the stress related to your campaign? I think so.
Can you let him take some days off to recuperate? -I guess, it's not the end of the world.
-Do you agree to talk to your girlfriend, so she knows her limits and doesn't take decisions without talking to both of you first? Yes, of course.
-You know I'm very happy with you, right? -Yes.
That we said we had to be honest with each other.
Yes, very.
And, saying that, I don't think you can change the team's name just like that.
Hey, dude, what's up? Crap.
I'm not changing the team's name.
I'm rebranding.
Now that you are in Puebla, you want the people from Puebla to come.
They won't, if their name is Cuervos of Nuevo Toledo.
-I'm just telling you-- -Isa, you aren't getting something.
The Cuervos are from Nuevo Toledo.
Okay? They are They're like an endemic species from the place.
Okay, whatever.
It's just a name.
Get over it.
I don't get why it's a big deal.
You piss me off.
Okay, wait, wait.
At the end of the day, people will call them the Cuervos anyway.
Where were we? What's up, dude? The street vendors are pissed off at me because I want to clean downtown? Please, what a tragedy, 500 less votes.
You know what, Paniagua? I'll ask you a favor, stop calling me at these hours for stupid shit.
Have a good night.
For fuck's sake.
So much trouble.
I'm sick and tired of this fucking campaign.
Quit, and be done with it.
I can't quit.
The Cuervos have to return to Nuevo Toledo.
Why? What do you mean, "why"? That's the whole point of this campaign.
It's the point of this bullshit.
To return the Cuervos to the city.
Why do you want to return the Cuervos to Nuevo Toledo? Because the team belongs there.
My dad founded it there, and that's what I'm promising on my campaign.
If I'm governor, I'll return the Cuervos to Nuevo Toledo.
I have to do it, otherwise I'll end up like an idiot.
Like a loser.
Unless you win the championship.
I mean, if you win the championship here, you wouldn't be a loser, you'd be the champion that Nuevo Toledo let go.
And everyone would be an idiot for letting you go.
Especially the governor.
What are you doing? I'm going to show you a Puebla you've never seen.
In Puebla, you can find a party when you want.
We have the best bars, the best after-parties.
And we even have four gay bars.
We are also very open-minded in Nuevo Toledo.
This coffee house is much better than Starbucks.
People here only buy local products.
Yes, coffee in Nuevo Toledo is one of the 50 best in the country.
We have some of the best stores, and some designers that aren't even available in Mexico City.
In Nuevo Toledo, we also have designers not available in Mexico City.
Do you know which city has the most yoga studios per capita in the country? Puebla.
Chava! It's amazing! Breathe! Can't you feel it? You and I could make history.
Look, Chava.
Isabel doesn't understand us.
Your sister is too old-fashioned.
She's stuck in the past.
But you and I are young.
And we are free.
Can't you see it? Puebla! The Heroic Puebla of the Angels.
The new home of the Cuervos.
So, we thought about meeting at their hotel, and instead of continuing the business like he said, he showed us that he bought all the lands in front of ours, with Mary Luz's permission.
-Are you kidding? -Right under my nose, dude.
And it was my fault, too, 'cause of my big nose.
And what's up with Ricky Lamas? That dude is so strange.
How did you find him? We partied for five days.
Well like a telethon, in Acapulco, for child burn victims.
Really nice.
-That guy is insufferable.
-Yes, insufferable.
I think you should block his casino.
How? He already has all the permits.
You put a school in those lots you have.
Yes he cannot build a casino or any gambling place near a school.
Legally, there's a minimum distance that must be kept.
I don't remember well.
Sammy, what's the distance? Yes, from 850 feet to 1300 feet, depending on the state.
It's so great to have a lawyer at home, right? Really? I can do that? -Yes.
-It's just one of the few -commercial tactics you'll learn here.
-That's interesting.
No more business talk at the table, please.
But, honey, what else would we talk about? This family only knows about business.
I know, but today we have a guest.
Yes, but Chava is already considered part of the family.
Thank you very much.
Everything was delicious, Mrs.
I'm glad you liked it.
We are trying to fatten you up a little bit.
Thank you.
I have a few extra pounds, I just hide them well.
My mother says I look like a knotted string.
He seems better than Manuel, right? Okay.
I'm sorry.
Chava, would you smoke a cigar with me? Yes, of course.
I have some that Fidel sent me before he died, a few months ago.
Okay, let's do it, then.
Jaimito, bring me the cigars, please.
-Excuse me, I thought it was on vibrate.
-Thank you.
I have to take this call quickly.
Don't worry, go ahead.
What happened, Hugo Sánchez? I'm at dinner.
Cuau is campaigning for governor.
I'm at his campaign speech now, hear him.
And my goal My goal is our city.
Are you serious? What party went with this idiot? The PCI.
Does the PCI even have offices in our state? I don't know.
But, sir, I think this should worry us.
It's Cuau, and the PCI.
I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.
Actually, tape it, and maybe I'll post it on Twitter as a favor.
I really think this should worry us.
I have to go.
-Crap! -And my parents were blue collar.
And they taught me to value hard work.
How are they? It tastes like Fidel's ashes.
And my skin tone is just a reflection of my-- This idiot.
Am I supposed to worry about that guy? -Please.
-Sir, we should at least be ready.
Please, PCI has no strength here, this has always been a two-party state.
But he's a soccer player, sir.
He's popular and famous.
If they polish his message, he could be dangerous.
I think.
I'm grateful that you're worried, but I'm going to give you a tip.
Stop reading newspapers, and learn how to make better coffee.
CANDIDATES' CURRENT STATUS 5 WEEKS TO ELECTION DAY And for today's game, the Cuervos will play against the Necaxa.
That's right, the three fans of the Rayos should dress for a party.
Well, actually, two of those three fans are the same person: -Cándido Perez, and Ortiz de Pinedo.
-They are the same-- What's up, Eliseo? Hi, Moisés.
I hate being the one to tell you, but I was just told by one of the assistant trainers of the National team.
-And? -You won't play against Uruguay.
They'll announce it soon, so, I thought you should know beforehand.
I'm sorry.
Come in.
What's up? Come in.
Sit down.
-I'll finish right away.
-Salvador, we have to talk.
What's up? I'm pregnant.
Oh, God.
Well, no, I can't.
I'm a married man.
So, now you're married, right? I've always been a married man, you know it.
-I can't have a baby right now.
-Are you serious? You can't even take a minute to think if you want this boy or not? Disgusting.
Hey, hey, hey.
-How do you know it's a boy? -There's a study called an ultrasound.
And it tells you the baby's gender.
He's a boy.
Really? A boy? -Let me talk to her.
-Get out.
I'm going to say goodbye to her.
Not now.
-Goodbye, honey.
-Goodbye, Dad.
Okay, everyone is waiting to see what happens with the Cuervos after today's game.
The question is, was last week's win just luck? Or are we seeing a new Cuervos team that's getting better? There's a lot of questions we have, to begin with.
It isn't only the Cuervos-- Hey, Fede, I'm on my way.
What happened? Moisés didn't come.
-Now what? -He didn't come, told Milton he was sick.
No, no, no.
What the fuck? So, he missed training the whole week for his stupid beer commercial, and now this? I have to go to the field, Isabel.
Fucking Diego of Zacatecas, fuck.
I will tell him he can't play at Uruguay if he doesn't come.
I'll fine him.
-The National Team confirmed the lineup.
-That son of a bitch should stop buying -The players are: -his flower shirts.
Pedro Orozco as goalkeeper, Jorge Villa, Javier Pizarro, Carlos Téllez, Rafael Márquez and Paulo Molinos.
In the midfield, we have Silvio Méndez, Adán Hierro, Héctor Barros, Abraham Cabral and heading the attach, Alonso -Fucking Moisés.
-and Kevin De la Cruz.
What happened? -Fede, go to the stadium.
-against Uruguay, -so, the question is, where's Moisés? -I'll make him come.
Hello, Isabel.
Hi, Moi.
I heard you didn't feel good.
I am with the doctor, at the hospital.
And I think I'm going to be hospitalized.
Then the hairy mannequin you left here at your house to scare thieves away is very pretty.
It looks very real.
Open? I saw the lineup for Uruguay.
I wasn't called.
I know.
Maybe I don't have what it takes to To be on the National Team.
No one will remember me.
I know you must feel like shit right now.
And you must feel no one values you, or cares about what you do.
But you know what, Moi? That's not true.
You don't know how much you are needed.
But you know who knows? We do.
To us, you are a leader.
You are a star.
No, Isabel.
You are our captain, Moisés.
I'm not a captain, Isabel.
I've behaved like an idiot.
I'm sure everyone hates me.
But you know what's the best cure for that? Winning.
-What's up with Moi? -Isabel said she'll bring him.
But the game starts in five minutes.
So what? We have a team.
Of course.
I trust in you guys.
I trust in you, Pepenador.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry I'm so late.
Thank God.
Hey, Moi.
I want to apologize for laughing about your commercial.
Me, too.
I want you to know you are the best person in the world.
The strongest, most admirable, and the sexiest I've ever met.
Actually I should be the one asking for forgiveness.
And not just to you, but to all of you.
-Because I-- -Moi, Moi.
No problem.
But we want to win this game.
Okay, dude.
-We will.
It doesn't fit me anyway.
Okay, guys, stop it with the long faces, we are going to win this shit! We will win this game! We are the Cuervos! Come on, guys! Let's go! Cuervos, Cuervos! Goal! It's another victory, and three more points for the Cuervos.
This time they beat the Rayos of Necaxa, leaving the fans of Aguascalientes very sad.
But all the people from Nuevo Toledo will be happy.
Or from Puebla? -Nuevo Toledo? -No, Nuevo Toledo or Puebla? What happened, Fede? Isabel, where are you? I am driving back home, I have a lot to do.
We want to go with the boys to drink something.
We have 14 points! We are back on! Okay, I'll head back, but just one.
I don't know how we did it, but congratulations.
I think we still can take the team back to Nuevo Toledo.
It was a goal! Okay, bye.
Cuervos! Cuervos! Now that we aren't together you feel guilty and want to spend time with her? Gloria, don't say that.
I always want to spend time with her.
You dragged her to your games, and didn't pay attention to her.
That's having quality time with your daughter? Gloria, please.
Calm down.
Today is the championship game.
We've been waiting for this game for years.
Take your lover, do what you want, but leave my daughter alone.
Please, it's a very special day, we are about to open a new stadium, okay? Please, hate me all you want, but don't punish Isabel, please.
She loves the team.
What the fuck is this? PUEBLA HOME OF THE CUERVOS Subtitle translation by Carolina Salazar