Cold Feet (1997) s07e01 Episode Script
Series 7, Episode 1
1 - Adam! - What? - It's started.
- What? What? It's too soon! - Shit! - Aaah.
Oh! Shit.
Oh! Excuse me! Out of the way, please.
Thank you.
Take her straight into theatre.
Stay with me, please.
It's OK.
It's OK.
- 10ml of phenobarbital.
- The baby's heartbeat is weakening.
- Quickly, please.
You can come in now! Listen up, Joe Let's have a chat, I've got some new news Oh, pull up a chair I've got a story to share I'm blessed with good friends Pete, Jenny, Karen, even David But something's amiss I need a baby to kiss But now with Matthew my devoted son and Tina my wife There's a beautiful addition to the jigsaw of life Praise the glory of Emmanuel, his name will be Nathaniel Now that she's produced a newborn King Charles Spaniel! - No-o-o-o! - Adam? Uhhh-hhh-hhh! You were thrashing.
I just had the weirdest dream.
What do you think it means? I don't know.
Maybe you want a puppy? You can read too much into dreams.
- I'll give you a lift once I'm changed.
- Great.
- Oh, good luck.
- Thanks.
- Good luck? What for? - Interview.
New job.
- I didn't know you were looking.
- I wasn't.
I was head-hunted.
- Mm.
Ah, that used to happen to me.
A long time ago.
Good luck.
OK.
You all right? Come on.
We'll put you in.
Oh ho-ho-ho! In you go.
Aw! Oh, he's fine.
Uhhh-hhh! Shit! Shit.
So, erm, the young woman who rang me said I'd be meeting the CEO.
- I did.
- That was you? - And you are.
I mean, I am.
- What? - The CEO.
- Oh, right.
Ah, this has started well.
It would have started even better if you'd been here on time.
Yes, I'm sorry.
My team are waiting for us.
- In the tree house.
- Tree house? - Go viral.
- Go viral! Excellent.
Marsden House publishing.
How may I direct your call? One moment please.
Is necessary I say that? It's just you and me.
It just sounds more professional, Ramona.
Who is it? Who is this, please? Hello? Hello? They call back.
Your book launch tonight.
Can I invite a friend? - No.
- Oh.
One.
But they can't eat or drink.
- God, what's the point? - To support your mother.
- Marsden House Publishing.
- How may I direct your call? - We'll be there.
Early.
To help you set up.
I suppose there's no chance of a lift? Is your distributor.
Hello.
Hello? Hello? Hello? What a lovely house you have, Mrs O'Neil.
- It's very characterful.
- Oh, well, it's home to me.
- And you'd like to stay in it, I understand.
- Er, milk, Mr Marsden? David.
Yes, please.
Thank you.
Er Oh, that's plenty.
Thank you.
Perfect.
- Oh, is that the pen? - I'm sorry? - In your briefcase.
The advert said I'd get a free pen just for arranging an appointment.
Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Thank you.
Oh, nice.
Oh.
- You are interested in equity release? - I don't know.
What is it? Well, it's a way of borrowing money against the value of your home, while continuing to live in it.
I don't own this house.
- You don't? - No.
It belongs to my son.
Well, you're not leaving, are you? - There's really no point my being here.
- Oh, well, finish your tea at least.
I can go whole days without seeing anyone.
Thank you.
Ohh So, David, you seem very intelligent, why are you going door-to-door selling dodgy loans? I thought she was the sad one, but she pitied me.
And she was right to.
50 years ago, I'd have been flogging dusters and encyclopaedias.
Come on, David.
We've all got to make a living.
Yeah, but when your reputation's trashed and no respectable firm will touch you you're reduced to using cheap pens as bait to lure old ladies.
Sorry! Hi.
- Ohh! - Have you joined a boyband? - Don't.
It's a long story.
- How was the job interview? Well, I think we'd all agree your CV is very impressive.
Longer than yours, I'd guess.
- They were all children? - No, they were bloody young.
None of them looked like they'd started shaving.
So what we do is match consumers with designers, based on the preferences they've expressed.
Like a personal shopper finding the fashions that best suit your taste.
Like Thread? They are one of our main competitors.
- We tend not to mention their name.
- Right.
Said Thread.
Before your time.
So you blew it, then? You would have thought that, but no, they seemed to like my sense of style.
We'll be in touch.
With an offer.
- [Champagne?.]
- [No, thank you.
.]
Thank you so much for coming.
Ah, your first book! Aww! Congratulations, Karen.
You must be so proud.
Thank you, David.
You're wearing the dress! - Tina took me shopping.
- I told you you'd look great in it.
Yeah, yeah, you do.
- I'd have said the same thing if they'd invited me.
- Sssh.
I love the, uh, the swimming-baths theme.
- Might drown the company if Bridie's book doesn't do well.
- Ah, it'll be a bestseller.
Says the man who thinks Wayne Rooney's autobiography is literature.
- I'd better go and say something.
- That is a cracking read.
Wayne can write.
Oh.
Hello.
"Mr Williams? Huxtons.
We have a couple very interested in renting your property.
" Caught you.
Ah, she's a beautiful girl, son.
- Here, big man.
- What? - So, er, I think I've got someone for my house.
- Haven't you rented it yet? - No, sure, I've been doing it up.
Anyway, I've got a viewing tomorrow, an executive let.
Why don't you just move in and live in it? - Because that would take me too far away from Tina.
- Mm.
- And, besides, he pays me half of what he'll earn in rent.
- That's not a factor.
- Yes, it is.
- I see.
- Oh, it's a good day.
The house, the job, a teenage son who's happy.
- And a beautiful woman who wants to share my bed.
- Oh? You've not mentioned her to me before.
Oh, I didn't want to upset you.
- I tell you what, I am gonna get the hang of this life thing.
- Don't worry.
You'll screw it up like you usually do.
- Thank you.
- A pleasure.
- Aw.
Hi, everyone.
I'd just like to take a moment to welcome you all to this celebration of the first book to come out of Marsden House Publishing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I need to thank a woman without whom I wouldn't be here tonight.
(I think that's me.
) She's already tipped to be the voice of her generation -- by me, anyway.
Remember her name, you'll be hearing it a lot.
Author of The Deep End, Miss Bridie Sellers.
Come on, Bridie! Well done, Bridie! - We'll have to buy a copy, won't we? - There's no such thing as a free drink.
Oh, you must be pleased for her, but I'm sure you'd have loved to be a part of it all.
If I'm honest, I do rather envy her success.
Mm, me, too.
I'd love to have run my own business, me.
Ah, you don't know, Jen.
- Might still happen.
- Oh, next life, maybe.
At least you have a job you enjoy.
Hm.
Yay! A great success! - Yeah, I got the author to sign mine.
- Oh, let's have a look.
- There.
- Spelt Jenny with an 'I'! - Just careful, mind the spine.
- Can you give me a hand? - Oh, yeah.
- Erm, I'll do it.
- Shall we go and listen to some music or something? Oh, I'm sorry, are we boring you? - Are they going upstairs? - Well, I very much doubt they're going to help, David.
Oh, I remember when I was that age.
I was just the same.
- Like father, like son, eh? - That's what worries me.
Relax.
Here, big man.
So, Adam, I hear you're letting your house.
Erm, yeah, well, I've got a, a, a viewing.
Just a young couple expecting a baby.
- I'm sure they'll take it.
It's very beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Oh, had a nose around? - No.
The interior designer gave me a guided tour.
Aw, thanks, David.
Adam's brief was not to spend too much money, but I wanted it to be somewhere I'd be happy to live.
- Would you be? - Yeah.
You never said that.
- Food! - Ooh, I'm famished.
- Here we go.
I'm starving! Er, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to say a few words.
Oh, God, must you? Just a toast, really, just to celebrate Karen's magnificent achievement.
It was nothing, I just went to Waitrose.
- Oh, is that why I saw those Aldi bags stashed in the kitchen? - Cow.
Well, I'm sure the catering will be better, one day, to celebrate this winning the Booker Prize! To Karen! - No more.
- Yeah.
I think she's got a temperature.
- Shall we take her to the doctor's? - Can you? - Oh, Jen, I ducked out of work yesterday.
- I just can't take the time off.
I'll be fine.
I just need to rest.
I've got my phone if I need you.
She's not that hot.
I just want to go back to sleep.
All right, sweetheart.
But if you start feeling sick, will you call one of us.
Yeah? Try your dad first.
Come in.
Come in.
Well, I got your message.
What's so urgent? Oh, you spoke to the estate agent.
I thought the viewing went well.
It did.
It did.
But, then we had a chat.
- Oh.
- And, well, here's the thing.
They're not gonna take the house.
What? - They seemed dead keen.
- I know.
I know.
I heard her.
I was here, but erm .
.
it got me thinking.
You know, when we first started seeing each other, we agreed to take things slowly.
- Living across the hall from each other.
- Yeah, one day at a time.
Yeah, well, that was nine months ago.
You know? 273 days at a time to be precise.
So I thought that maybe it's time to take this to the next level.
- Congratulations.
- If you ask me, it's not before time.
I know.
I can't think why I didn't ask sooner.
- Clearly it went well.
- Oh, man, you should've seen the look on her face.
It's a key.
Yeah.
To this house.
You know, I was crazy thinking I was gonna rent it out.
We should be living here -- you, me and Matt.
I thought it was an engagement ring.
What!? Wha Oh.
Oh, the box.
Yeah.
Er, no, sorry.
Sorry.
Are you disappointed? - No.
- What? So you will move in with us? - So you DON'T want to get married? - No! - Oh, then yes! Yes! Yes! - Oh! I was just so relieved, I said it without thinking.
- Now you wish you hadn't? - In the next breath, I wished I hadn't.
What if it doesn't work out, Karen? We couldn't go back to the way we were.
I don't want to lose him.
Whoo-ooh! Don't tell Jen.
You might as well be telling Adam.
- Hi.
- Hiya.
- Sorry I'm late.
What were you two talking about? - Oh, we weren't.
- Yeah, you were.
I saw your lips moving.
Nothing interesting.
Well, it might be.
Try me.
Honestly, how are things with you? Oh, shite.
Work's shite.
Kids are shite.
Oh, Chloe's up to something.
Anyway, you don't want me bringing you down.
Er, listen, I'll just get myself a drink.
- Do you want anything? - No, thanks.
- I'm good.
- OK.
I can't imagine ever setting up house with someone again.
- You mean you can't imagine who'd do it with you.
- No.
Well, yeah.
But, no, I mean, getting that far.
Having to wade through all that dating nonsense.
Oh, I know what you mean.
When you're younger, dating, courting, it's like a voyage of discovery.
When you're older, it's like a ride on the Belfast-Liverpool ferry.
But not when you meet the right person.
Does Matthew know you're moving? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
I checked with him before I asked Tina.
- Oh.
Didsbury? - That's where you lived with Mum.
- Yeah, when you were born.
It'll be like coming home.
Well, that's the plan.
Our own home.
Yours and mine.
With Tina, if that's OK with you.
I like Tina.
You like each other, I can tell.
Listen, I know Didsbury is not the centre of the universe -- It's not the centre of town.
But, yeah, I mean You've got loads of friends that live out that way.
Olivia, too.
Well, er, will she be allowed to stay over? Er, well I'd have to discuss that with Karen.
- Not David.
- No.
No, no, no.
Look, if Karen's cool with it, I wouldn't have an issue.
Adam, what about me? - I got you one.
- Hm? No, I mean, I mean If you're moving out, what's going to happen to me? Oh, bollocks, er I hadn't thought about that.
Could you afford the rent? Not now.
Well, you were only supposed to be staying for a couple of weeks until you got yourself sorted.
I thought I had.
I can't move in with him.
But I can't not move in with him, because now I've told him that I will.
- Don't say anything to him, will you? - No.
You've got to do that.
And soon.
- Ohh! Right, same again? Or shall we get something to eat? - I'm sorry, Jen.
I've got to go.
- Yeah, me, too.
- Hey? - I've got a stack of emails I need to answer.
I'm sorry.
I've got to go and talk to Adam.
- We said we'd catch a movie next week.
- Great, I'm up for that.
- See you.
- Bye.
- OK.
Don't forget.
Adam, please don't look at me like that.
How am I supposed to look? Happy? Like you did when I gave you the key? Why did you do that? I just can't bear to leave this place.
You can understand that, can't you? It's where you lived with Liam.
That's not it.
I left after Rachel died.
You stayed.
You could too, across the hall.
No.
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
Matt and I are moving.
He wants to.
You said you did.
I know.
Sorry.
So you're not going to claim that I misheard you? Cos you do have form.
I love u I love you, too.
What? Oh, no.
I said, 'I love unicorns.
' What? I always have done, since I was a little girl.
I thought they were horses that dared to dream.
- You just said you love me.
- I thought you'd said it to me.
Will you say it again? I love you nicorns.
I love unicorns, too.
And you.
It's so hard to be without you Lying in the bed, you are so much to be without I still reckon you said it first.
It doesn't have to change anything, you know.
We can still carry on as we are.
Yeah, yeah.
Just living in separate houses.
Six miles apart.
.
.
every night is lonesome and is longer than before Nothing really matters any more Your full signature here and here.
Excuse me.
You work on that while I get this.
Hey, David.
I've got a new business lead for you.
I've just dropped one of my clients at my old care home.
Oh, Pete, I really appreciate it, but I don't know how much longer I can carry on doing this.
I certainly don't want to start chasing ambulances.
No, she's not a resident.
It's her daughter.
It's one of my regulars.
I just picked her up from her bijou little residence.
Pete, love, can we swing by the bank on the way? I need to get some cash out, if they'll let me.
- I don't think you'll have any trouble, Nikki.
- You'd be surprised.
I'm hopeless with money.
Good at spending.
I've got a mate who can help you.
Spend it? I don't need any help.
My friends are worse than me.
No.
Manage it.
He's a financial advisor.
Those sharks.
No offence.
None taken.
But I know what you mean.
- But David's not typical.
- He's trustworthy? Well, he did serve time for fraud.
- I'm joking.
He got off.
- That's a recommendation.
- I should have a word with him.
- Invite your friends.
- If they're anything like you.
- You mean 'loaded'? Half of them don't trust their husbands.
Maybe I should invite a few of the neighbours -- the WAGs and the widows.
Do you think your friend would be interested? Oh, Pete, you're a star! - An entree to the Cheshire set! - Yeah.
Then you won't need to be fleecing grannies any more, will you? Eh? Excuse me.
I've not finished that.
And I'm not going to let you, Anne.
You don't want life insurance.
No.
I doubt the company would even pay out.
They'd probably say that 'old age' is a pre-existing condition.
You can keep the pen.
- Right.
Thanks for letting me know.
- That's OK.
Take care now.
Pete! Wow! I have not seen you in forever! What, are you doing a shift? - Hello, Vedika.
How are you, love? - I'm good, yeah.
You? I just I just do the driving now.
I'm a chauffeur.
Ohh! Going up in the world, are we? It's still a cab.
Just less puke.
Oh, well, if you ever get sick of it, the turnover in here is incredible.
You know, Nathan's the latest to go.
- No! - Yeah.
- I thought they'd have to carry him out of here in a box.
Ah, well, erm, yeah, they did.
Oh, oh.
- Hey, who does the bingo? - Nurse Ratchett.
- Ugh.
- Two eights.
88.
Very PC.
The residents hate it.
Jack? Have you forgotten where the bathroom is again? Come on, love.
I'll take you.
Right, I'll see you later, Pete! - Hello.
- Have you heard? Tina's NOT moving in with Adam.
"Jen, hi.
Yeah, yeah, she just told me.
She says, 'Hi.
'" "Hi, Jen.
You all right?" - Oh, right.
So, is she there with you? - "Yes.
She was just leaving.
" - Listen, thanks for letting me bang on.
I'll let you go.
- OK.
- Bye, Jen! - Take care.
Well, anyway, we all saw that one coming.
Not Adam.
Obviously.
Jen, I am so sorry, but I've really got to get back to work.
Can I call you later? Or Or tomorrow? God, yeah.
Sure.
Absolutely, if you haven't got time now.
Thanks, Jen.
Bye.
Just a touch of your love is enough to knock me off of my feet - What's that? - A 'hilarious' clip that's actually only 'mildly amusing'? It's my sister.
Why she'd want to share this, it's beyond me.
- When did she do this? - This morning.
Hi.
Look at your poor sick daughter.
- A speedy recovery for a girl who couldn't go to school.
- Hm, isn't it? Oh, shit.
You are allowed to use the wardrobe for clothes, you know.
I'm gonna love living here, Dad.
And it's so much closer to school.
You are glad we're doing this, aren't you? Yeah.
I'm really happy, son.
Hello.
Good afternoon.
Er Yes.
Erm Hi.
Er Erm Hello.
Hello.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
And And First of all, thank you Nikki for -- .
.
hosting this, er, seminar on Financial Planning For High Net Worth Individuals.
Oh, God! I'm lost already.
That's just the title! David, I did suggest you might want to try the Ladybird version.
Oh.
Right.
OK.
Well, erm Sorry.
Er Let Let me translate.
Er, 'high net worth individuals' .
.
also known as That's more like it! Is it just me or does that remind you of something? Vagina Dentata.
- Eh? - Freud, I think.
The fear of some men that women have teeth down there.
Ohh.
'Vagina Dentata.
' Sounds like 'Hakuna Matata', doesn't it? Well, that's just ruined The Lion King for me.
Ah, there you are.
Jen? Jen, don't you want a word with him? Hey? Oh, yes, I do.
He's been avoiding me.
Probably scared that your bite's worse than your bark.
Hm, well, he's about to find out.
Woof! I've got to hand it to you, David.
The WAGs usually only get this excited when there are paparazzi lurking.
- Thank you.
- My card.
Thank you.
Yes, it went down really rather well.
- Especially when you said that boob jobs might be tax deductible.
- Yes.
Call me any time.
Thanks, Dave.
She's rather - alarming.
- Yeah, don't worry.
Unless you're worth ten mill, you're safe.
If you'd like any more information yourself -- I would.
Perhaps we could arrange to meet up another time.
Of course.
Yes.
Would you like your husband to be present? Ooh, I don't think we need to involve him, David.
Do you? Tina's not to blame.
Oh, it's my own fault, Jen.
You know, I'm never satisfied.
- I always want something more.
- That's the human condition, that is.
Look, you've been going out for, what, nine months? It's not unreasonable to want to move in together.
You think that she's being unreasonable not wanting to? I am not going to slag off your girlfriend! - You always slag off my girlfriends! - Well, hello! No, no, no.
You never take to them at first.
Oh Why do you think that is, Jen? Oh, my God.
Get off me! Listen, I loved Rachel.
- And I like Tina.
- She likes you.
Does she? She likes Karen.
- A lot.
- They are close.
They're probably talking to each other on the phone right now.
Hm.
More tea.
Ugh.
Get something stronger.
- Hey.
- I was just gonna show Liv my room.
- Sure.
- Hi.
Ah, he's so happy here.
Ah, that'd be the double bed.
- Hm? - Mind you, it must have cramped his style living with David.
He'll be right off the leash now.
- Not for long.
- Hey? This is so good of you, Adam.
- Hello, Jenny.
- Hi.
Just for a couple of weeks until you get somewhere long-term.
Of course.
Of course, yes.
- Your bedroom's up by the bathroom.
- Right.
I'll just dump these.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What Aren't you gonna warn them? Ooh.
Er, Matt! David's here! - Oh, Matt, sorry.
- Hi, David.
- Olivia.
- Dad.
- Your blouse isn't tucked in.
Vodka.
Easy on the tonic, my friend.
Oh, yeah? Don't tell Pete, but I think I might be about to get fired.
Oh, Jen.
Why? I had a bit of a run-in at work today.
- The hotel is full.
- Because we've booked out half the bloody rooms! Listen, I've got a keynote speaker arriving a day early.
I expect you to find him a suite.
- He's a VIP.
- He's a toothbrush salesman! 'An orthodontic clinician.
' Thank you.
With letters after his name! Have you got any? Besides GIT.
Listen, among my delegates are a number of hygienists.
Who knows how many hygiene violations they can find in your kitchen.
You wouldn't dare.
Not a room, a suite.
I don't have any.
What I do have is a very good relationship with your boss.
Who I'm now going to inform of your attempt to blackmail me! Hm! My boss rang me earlier.
She's popping in tomorrow for a chat.
Oh, dear.
God, book lovers drink a lot.
- There's not a bad review among them.
- Mm, I know.
Critics are always sniffy.
Envy mostly.
Ellie? Ellie, will you make some coffee, darling? I'm doing my history assignment.
- Well, I'm about to.
- No, you're about to make some coffee.
Why can't? The Independent loves it! And me! Don't be so humble.
You're not an unpublished author any more.
You're a star.
Get used to it.
- This Chapter One bookstore want to know if Bridie will do a signing.
- Yes! Oh, my God.
I have a public.
No reason.
I just wanted to say good night.
We used to do that lying next to each other.
Well, you could come over.
I'd thought about ringing you, but I didn't want to seem clingy.
- I nearly didn't.
- For the same reason? In case you weren't alone.
Hm.
We mustn't start second-guessing each other.
No, you're right.
We should be open and honest and if we are missing each other we should feel that we can say it.
Yeah.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Weight of love on my shoulders I miss you.
.
.
I thought that it would be easier than this I found my heart - We're delighted you chose to join us.
- Me, too.
When's naptime? Sorry.
Let me introduce you to my team.
Sarah, this is Adam, our new IT guru.
- Sarah handles our marketing.
- Great.
- I'm no longer the oldest person here.
- Hm, is that why I got the job? Yeah, positive discrimination.
- We've met before.
- Have we? - Yeah.
I feel like we have.
- Now you mention it, you do look familiar.
You may have seen Sarah on our website.
She's the face of our middle-aged range.
- Something of a back-handed compliment.
- No, no, no.
They chose well.
Actually, if you're looking for any mature male models Hm.
Your desk's over here.
Uh-huh.
Whee! Whoo! There you go.
Right.
Let's have a look, then.
It's high, isn't it? High? Well, technically, you should be dead.
- Oh, dear.
- Not been holding this on the radiator, have you? Hm? Come on, Chlo.
What's going on? You like school.
- It's Sasha.
- She's your best friend.
She was, but now she's friends with Kayla Roach.
And you don't like Kayla? - No, I do.
- She's feeling left out.
They don't want to spend any time with me any more.
- Oh, sweetheart.
I'm sure that's not true.
- Hm Two's company three's a crowd.
- Jen, that's not really helping.
- True, though.
You're besties with someone, you think you always will be.
Then someone else comes along.
It's like the two of you were nothing special.
It's rubbish, really.
- Have you talked to her? - No.
No, I mean, obviously, she hasn't.
Well, I think you should.
I don't suppose it's even occurred to Sasha that you're feeling like this.
And, if she's a true friend, she wouldn't want you to.
Hey? Actually, your dad's right.
That's what we should do.
Clever.
Aw.
Oh, hi.
Time for coffee and a Bourbon? Yeah, come on.
Come on.
I feel childish saying this, but .
.
don't you like me any more? I hardly ever see you.
Oh, come on, Jen.
Look, I've been so busy recently, I -- Ramona.
Ramona! Sorry, Jen.
Kar -- Marsden House Publishing.
No, I'm sorry.
She's in a meeting at the moment.
- Sorry.
I was in the toilet.
- Yeah, I'll just put you through to her PA.
Jen, how are you? You're looking well.
- Ramona? - Oh, yes, sorry.
Hello.
Bridie Sellers Not too busy for Tina, are you? No, I've seen her.
That's true.
Yeah.
- Are you jealous? - No.
No, I'm not.
- You are, Jen! - No, I'm not.
Oh, I don't know, I might be a bit.
Oh, Jen.
It used to be just you and me.
Cagney and Lacey, Thelma and Louise, I don't know - Pinky and Perky.
- We still are that.
Oh, I'm sorry, Jen.
Look, I should have made more effort.
It's just you're my friend.
I miss you.
Jenny.
Oh, Karen, Karen.
It's Woman's Hour.
Oh, blimey.
Listen, you're busy.
I'll go.
Right.
We're gonna go out for dinner really soon.
OK? - Just the two of us.
I promise.
OK? - See you.
No, it's OK.
We can We can invite Tina.
Just won't tell her the right restaurant.
- "Yes?" - David Marsden.
I have an appointment with Mrs Kirkbright.
"It's me, David.
I don't do staff.
" - Oh.
My cue to leave.
- Hey? I had a call about you yesterday.
The hotel manager? 'Incompetent, aggressive, unhinged.
' - Yeah, that's him.
- That's how he described you.
'Unhinged' is a bit harsh.
And, in seven years' time, any funds invested in trust for your children will no longer be subject to inheritance tax.
What happens if we get divorced? Forgive me, but is that likely? Well, who was it who said, 'No-one marries expecting to divorce'? Me.
Twice.
Twice? You picked badly.
Or they did.
Shit.
- Hm? - Well, he shouldn't be home.
- Your husband? - We need to hide your stuff.
It'd be good to meet him.
Nikki! Next door's dog shat in the drive again! - Erm, you need to go out the back.
- What? Well, he, erm He He mustn't see you.
Thank you.
Just this way.
That's right.
Lovely.
Thank you very much.
- Through here? - Not that door.
That one.
That one.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- OK.
Thanks.
Lovely to see you, David.
- Yeah, but -- - Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Ah Oww! Oh, shit! Are you nervous? - Why would I be? - Well, at your launch party you were.
God, I was like a different person then.
Mm, thank you.
- You'll stay close by me, won't you? - So, you are a bit? No.
In case I want anything.
Actually, I do.
Water.
Can you get me some? Hi! Thank you so much for coming.
Yeah, sure.
Darling, danke schoen - Thank you.
- Who shall I sign it to? Tanya.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- OK? I want sparkling.
.
.
picture shows Hi.
Who shall I sign it to? .
.
was the place we'd meet Second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet I usually decline when young men invite me out for coffee.
Actually, you're the first.
I wanted to ask you something.
Why don't you want to live with us? I thought you were going to.
I was.
Briefly.
Have you and Dad fallen out? No.
- Why? Has he said something? - No.
Nothing.
I mean, literally, he just sits there pretending to do his crossword.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Hard luck again! Dad? Do you want a go? No.
I'm good.
- Re-match.
- OK.
The best of three.
Grovel in the gravel.
He's miserable, Tina.
So am I.
That's why I was hoping you'd move in.
- Matt -- - I know you're scared.
I was, when Dad moved back to Manchester.
We hadn't lived together for years.
- I didn't want us to screw things up.
- Exactly! But think what we'd have missed out on, if we hadn't tried.
You know, us young people, we're always being told, 'Do stuff, life begins where your comfort zone ends.
' Why should it be any different when you get older? I wish it was that simple.
Hi, love.
Sit down, will you, a minute, Pete.
Well, come on, sit down.
Ohh Right.
- I had to see the boss today.
- Oh, no! You've not been sacked, have you? Oh, well, thanks for the vote of confidence! Although, to be fair, that is what I was expecting.
- I've had my eye on you for a while.
- Oh, God! - Really? - I like what I'm seeing.
- Look, I'll say sorry - Sorry? - You're wasting your talents behind this desk.
I'd like you to join me in head office.
- Am I not losing my job? - It's a promotion with a salary to match.
And the hours Oh, I don't I don't think I should take it.
Do you not want to? Well, yeah, yeah, I do.
But Chloe needs me here.
You know, all this stuff with her friends, if I'd been around more, I might have seen the signs.
Jen, it's important that you have a job that's fulfilling.
Mine's not.
My clients don't appreciate me.
They don't even thank me.
Well, that's not true.
A regular did lick me the other day, but she's a dog.
- Pete, come on! - No, she actually is.
I was driving her to doggy day care.
See, that's what I do.
I run errands for rich people, so they can waste more time on their empty lives.
Sometimes, I'm worried that I've left the door open for the black dog to sneak back in.
You're not talking about the one who licked you, are you? No.
Pete, your health's more important than anything, you know that.
Look, there's a job at my old care home.
Entertainments Officer.
I think I could be good at it.
- Yeah? - It's part-time.
The shitty pay is even shittier than before.
But it means that I could be around for the kids.
And your pay rise, well, that'd cover us.
Really? You are a very nice man.
Well, one of us has to be.
I told you about that.
Hey, Chlo.
How was school? - Good.
I'm friends with Sasha again.
- Ah, and what about Kayla? Sasha says she's too needy.
We've unfriended her.
Oh, no, Chloe! Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Pete.
It's all right.
It's a jungle out there.
She's just learning how to survive.
Yeah, but what if she grows up like that? With you in her corner she won't.
This girl I know needs some shelter Mum! You haven't washed this.
I need it tomorrow.
Let me show you where the washing machine is.
.
.
I'll stand in front of you I'll take the force of the blow - Are you expecting Olivia? - No.
Oh.
I realised I didn't get you a house-warming present.
I recognise this.
You love unicorns.
I love you, too.
Does the offer to move in still stand? Come on.
Matt? Set another place, will you? Way ahead of you, Dad.
Everyone, everyone needs A home
- What? What? It's too soon! - Shit! - Aaah.
Oh! Shit.
Oh! Excuse me! Out of the way, please.
Thank you.
Take her straight into theatre.
Stay with me, please.
It's OK.
It's OK.
- 10ml of phenobarbital.
- The baby's heartbeat is weakening.
- Quickly, please.
You can come in now! Listen up, Joe Let's have a chat, I've got some new news Oh, pull up a chair I've got a story to share I'm blessed with good friends Pete, Jenny, Karen, even David But something's amiss I need a baby to kiss But now with Matthew my devoted son and Tina my wife There's a beautiful addition to the jigsaw of life Praise the glory of Emmanuel, his name will be Nathaniel Now that she's produced a newborn King Charles Spaniel! - No-o-o-o! - Adam? Uhhh-hhh-hhh! You were thrashing.
I just had the weirdest dream.
What do you think it means? I don't know.
Maybe you want a puppy? You can read too much into dreams.
- I'll give you a lift once I'm changed.
- Great.
- Oh, good luck.
- Thanks.
- Good luck? What for? - Interview.
New job.
- I didn't know you were looking.
- I wasn't.
I was head-hunted.
- Mm.
Ah, that used to happen to me.
A long time ago.
Good luck.
OK.
You all right? Come on.
We'll put you in.
Oh ho-ho-ho! In you go.
Aw! Oh, he's fine.
Uhhh-hhh! Shit! Shit.
So, erm, the young woman who rang me said I'd be meeting the CEO.
- I did.
- That was you? - And you are.
I mean, I am.
- What? - The CEO.
- Oh, right.
Ah, this has started well.
It would have started even better if you'd been here on time.
Yes, I'm sorry.
My team are waiting for us.
- In the tree house.
- Tree house? - Go viral.
- Go viral! Excellent.
Marsden House publishing.
How may I direct your call? One moment please.
Is necessary I say that? It's just you and me.
It just sounds more professional, Ramona.
Who is it? Who is this, please? Hello? Hello? They call back.
Your book launch tonight.
Can I invite a friend? - No.
- Oh.
One.
But they can't eat or drink.
- God, what's the point? - To support your mother.
- Marsden House Publishing.
- How may I direct your call? - We'll be there.
Early.
To help you set up.
I suppose there's no chance of a lift? Is your distributor.
Hello.
Hello? Hello? Hello? What a lovely house you have, Mrs O'Neil.
- It's very characterful.
- Oh, well, it's home to me.
- And you'd like to stay in it, I understand.
- Er, milk, Mr Marsden? David.
Yes, please.
Thank you.
Er Oh, that's plenty.
Thank you.
Perfect.
- Oh, is that the pen? - I'm sorry? - In your briefcase.
The advert said I'd get a free pen just for arranging an appointment.
Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Thank you.
Oh, nice.
Oh.
- You are interested in equity release? - I don't know.
What is it? Well, it's a way of borrowing money against the value of your home, while continuing to live in it.
I don't own this house.
- You don't? - No.
It belongs to my son.
Well, you're not leaving, are you? - There's really no point my being here.
- Oh, well, finish your tea at least.
I can go whole days without seeing anyone.
Thank you.
Ohh So, David, you seem very intelligent, why are you going door-to-door selling dodgy loans? I thought she was the sad one, but she pitied me.
And she was right to.
50 years ago, I'd have been flogging dusters and encyclopaedias.
Come on, David.
We've all got to make a living.
Yeah, but when your reputation's trashed and no respectable firm will touch you you're reduced to using cheap pens as bait to lure old ladies.
Sorry! Hi.
- Ohh! - Have you joined a boyband? - Don't.
It's a long story.
- How was the job interview? Well, I think we'd all agree your CV is very impressive.
Longer than yours, I'd guess.
- They were all children? - No, they were bloody young.
None of them looked like they'd started shaving.
So what we do is match consumers with designers, based on the preferences they've expressed.
Like a personal shopper finding the fashions that best suit your taste.
Like Thread? They are one of our main competitors.
- We tend not to mention their name.
- Right.
Said Thread.
Before your time.
So you blew it, then? You would have thought that, but no, they seemed to like my sense of style.
We'll be in touch.
With an offer.
- [Champagne?.]
- [No, thank you.
.]
Thank you so much for coming.
Ah, your first book! Aww! Congratulations, Karen.
You must be so proud.
Thank you, David.
You're wearing the dress! - Tina took me shopping.
- I told you you'd look great in it.
Yeah, yeah, you do.
- I'd have said the same thing if they'd invited me.
- Sssh.
I love the, uh, the swimming-baths theme.
- Might drown the company if Bridie's book doesn't do well.
- Ah, it'll be a bestseller.
Says the man who thinks Wayne Rooney's autobiography is literature.
- I'd better go and say something.
- That is a cracking read.
Wayne can write.
Oh.
Hello.
"Mr Williams? Huxtons.
We have a couple very interested in renting your property.
" Caught you.
Ah, she's a beautiful girl, son.
- Here, big man.
- What? - So, er, I think I've got someone for my house.
- Haven't you rented it yet? - No, sure, I've been doing it up.
Anyway, I've got a viewing tomorrow, an executive let.
Why don't you just move in and live in it? - Because that would take me too far away from Tina.
- Mm.
- And, besides, he pays me half of what he'll earn in rent.
- That's not a factor.
- Yes, it is.
- I see.
- Oh, it's a good day.
The house, the job, a teenage son who's happy.
- And a beautiful woman who wants to share my bed.
- Oh? You've not mentioned her to me before.
Oh, I didn't want to upset you.
- I tell you what, I am gonna get the hang of this life thing.
- Don't worry.
You'll screw it up like you usually do.
- Thank you.
- A pleasure.
- Aw.
Hi, everyone.
I'd just like to take a moment to welcome you all to this celebration of the first book to come out of Marsden House Publishing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I need to thank a woman without whom I wouldn't be here tonight.
(I think that's me.
) She's already tipped to be the voice of her generation -- by me, anyway.
Remember her name, you'll be hearing it a lot.
Author of The Deep End, Miss Bridie Sellers.
Come on, Bridie! Well done, Bridie! - We'll have to buy a copy, won't we? - There's no such thing as a free drink.
Oh, you must be pleased for her, but I'm sure you'd have loved to be a part of it all.
If I'm honest, I do rather envy her success.
Mm, me, too.
I'd love to have run my own business, me.
Ah, you don't know, Jen.
- Might still happen.
- Oh, next life, maybe.
At least you have a job you enjoy.
Hm.
Yay! A great success! - Yeah, I got the author to sign mine.
- Oh, let's have a look.
- There.
- Spelt Jenny with an 'I'! - Just careful, mind the spine.
- Can you give me a hand? - Oh, yeah.
- Erm, I'll do it.
- Shall we go and listen to some music or something? Oh, I'm sorry, are we boring you? - Are they going upstairs? - Well, I very much doubt they're going to help, David.
Oh, I remember when I was that age.
I was just the same.
- Like father, like son, eh? - That's what worries me.
Relax.
Here, big man.
So, Adam, I hear you're letting your house.
Erm, yeah, well, I've got a, a, a viewing.
Just a young couple expecting a baby.
- I'm sure they'll take it.
It's very beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Oh, had a nose around? - No.
The interior designer gave me a guided tour.
Aw, thanks, David.
Adam's brief was not to spend too much money, but I wanted it to be somewhere I'd be happy to live.
- Would you be? - Yeah.
You never said that.
- Food! - Ooh, I'm famished.
- Here we go.
I'm starving! Er, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to say a few words.
Oh, God, must you? Just a toast, really, just to celebrate Karen's magnificent achievement.
It was nothing, I just went to Waitrose.
- Oh, is that why I saw those Aldi bags stashed in the kitchen? - Cow.
Well, I'm sure the catering will be better, one day, to celebrate this winning the Booker Prize! To Karen! - No more.
- Yeah.
I think she's got a temperature.
- Shall we take her to the doctor's? - Can you? - Oh, Jen, I ducked out of work yesterday.
- I just can't take the time off.
I'll be fine.
I just need to rest.
I've got my phone if I need you.
She's not that hot.
I just want to go back to sleep.
All right, sweetheart.
But if you start feeling sick, will you call one of us.
Yeah? Try your dad first.
Come in.
Come in.
Well, I got your message.
What's so urgent? Oh, you spoke to the estate agent.
I thought the viewing went well.
It did.
It did.
But, then we had a chat.
- Oh.
- And, well, here's the thing.
They're not gonna take the house.
What? - They seemed dead keen.
- I know.
I know.
I heard her.
I was here, but erm .
.
it got me thinking.
You know, when we first started seeing each other, we agreed to take things slowly.
- Living across the hall from each other.
- Yeah, one day at a time.
Yeah, well, that was nine months ago.
You know? 273 days at a time to be precise.
So I thought that maybe it's time to take this to the next level.
- Congratulations.
- If you ask me, it's not before time.
I know.
I can't think why I didn't ask sooner.
- Clearly it went well.
- Oh, man, you should've seen the look on her face.
It's a key.
Yeah.
To this house.
You know, I was crazy thinking I was gonna rent it out.
We should be living here -- you, me and Matt.
I thought it was an engagement ring.
What!? Wha Oh.
Oh, the box.
Yeah.
Er, no, sorry.
Sorry.
Are you disappointed? - No.
- What? So you will move in with us? - So you DON'T want to get married? - No! - Oh, then yes! Yes! Yes! - Oh! I was just so relieved, I said it without thinking.
- Now you wish you hadn't? - In the next breath, I wished I hadn't.
What if it doesn't work out, Karen? We couldn't go back to the way we were.
I don't want to lose him.
Whoo-ooh! Don't tell Jen.
You might as well be telling Adam.
- Hi.
- Hiya.
- Sorry I'm late.
What were you two talking about? - Oh, we weren't.
- Yeah, you were.
I saw your lips moving.
Nothing interesting.
Well, it might be.
Try me.
Honestly, how are things with you? Oh, shite.
Work's shite.
Kids are shite.
Oh, Chloe's up to something.
Anyway, you don't want me bringing you down.
Er, listen, I'll just get myself a drink.
- Do you want anything? - No, thanks.
- I'm good.
- OK.
I can't imagine ever setting up house with someone again.
- You mean you can't imagine who'd do it with you.
- No.
Well, yeah.
But, no, I mean, getting that far.
Having to wade through all that dating nonsense.
Oh, I know what you mean.
When you're younger, dating, courting, it's like a voyage of discovery.
When you're older, it's like a ride on the Belfast-Liverpool ferry.
But not when you meet the right person.
Does Matthew know you're moving? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
I checked with him before I asked Tina.
- Oh.
Didsbury? - That's where you lived with Mum.
- Yeah, when you were born.
It'll be like coming home.
Well, that's the plan.
Our own home.
Yours and mine.
With Tina, if that's OK with you.
I like Tina.
You like each other, I can tell.
Listen, I know Didsbury is not the centre of the universe -- It's not the centre of town.
But, yeah, I mean You've got loads of friends that live out that way.
Olivia, too.
Well, er, will she be allowed to stay over? Er, well I'd have to discuss that with Karen.
- Not David.
- No.
No, no, no.
Look, if Karen's cool with it, I wouldn't have an issue.
Adam, what about me? - I got you one.
- Hm? No, I mean, I mean If you're moving out, what's going to happen to me? Oh, bollocks, er I hadn't thought about that.
Could you afford the rent? Not now.
Well, you were only supposed to be staying for a couple of weeks until you got yourself sorted.
I thought I had.
I can't move in with him.
But I can't not move in with him, because now I've told him that I will.
- Don't say anything to him, will you? - No.
You've got to do that.
And soon.
- Ohh! Right, same again? Or shall we get something to eat? - I'm sorry, Jen.
I've got to go.
- Yeah, me, too.
- Hey? - I've got a stack of emails I need to answer.
I'm sorry.
I've got to go and talk to Adam.
- We said we'd catch a movie next week.
- Great, I'm up for that.
- See you.
- Bye.
- OK.
Don't forget.
Adam, please don't look at me like that.
How am I supposed to look? Happy? Like you did when I gave you the key? Why did you do that? I just can't bear to leave this place.
You can understand that, can't you? It's where you lived with Liam.
That's not it.
I left after Rachel died.
You stayed.
You could too, across the hall.
No.
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
Matt and I are moving.
He wants to.
You said you did.
I know.
Sorry.
So you're not going to claim that I misheard you? Cos you do have form.
I love u I love you, too.
What? Oh, no.
I said, 'I love unicorns.
' What? I always have done, since I was a little girl.
I thought they were horses that dared to dream.
- You just said you love me.
- I thought you'd said it to me.
Will you say it again? I love you nicorns.
I love unicorns, too.
And you.
It's so hard to be without you Lying in the bed, you are so much to be without I still reckon you said it first.
It doesn't have to change anything, you know.
We can still carry on as we are.
Yeah, yeah.
Just living in separate houses.
Six miles apart.
.
.
every night is lonesome and is longer than before Nothing really matters any more Your full signature here and here.
Excuse me.
You work on that while I get this.
Hey, David.
I've got a new business lead for you.
I've just dropped one of my clients at my old care home.
Oh, Pete, I really appreciate it, but I don't know how much longer I can carry on doing this.
I certainly don't want to start chasing ambulances.
No, she's not a resident.
It's her daughter.
It's one of my regulars.
I just picked her up from her bijou little residence.
Pete, love, can we swing by the bank on the way? I need to get some cash out, if they'll let me.
- I don't think you'll have any trouble, Nikki.
- You'd be surprised.
I'm hopeless with money.
Good at spending.
I've got a mate who can help you.
Spend it? I don't need any help.
My friends are worse than me.
No.
Manage it.
He's a financial advisor.
Those sharks.
No offence.
None taken.
But I know what you mean.
- But David's not typical.
- He's trustworthy? Well, he did serve time for fraud.
- I'm joking.
He got off.
- That's a recommendation.
- I should have a word with him.
- Invite your friends.
- If they're anything like you.
- You mean 'loaded'? Half of them don't trust their husbands.
Maybe I should invite a few of the neighbours -- the WAGs and the widows.
Do you think your friend would be interested? Oh, Pete, you're a star! - An entree to the Cheshire set! - Yeah.
Then you won't need to be fleecing grannies any more, will you? Eh? Excuse me.
I've not finished that.
And I'm not going to let you, Anne.
You don't want life insurance.
No.
I doubt the company would even pay out.
They'd probably say that 'old age' is a pre-existing condition.
You can keep the pen.
- Right.
Thanks for letting me know.
- That's OK.
Take care now.
Pete! Wow! I have not seen you in forever! What, are you doing a shift? - Hello, Vedika.
How are you, love? - I'm good, yeah.
You? I just I just do the driving now.
I'm a chauffeur.
Ohh! Going up in the world, are we? It's still a cab.
Just less puke.
Oh, well, if you ever get sick of it, the turnover in here is incredible.
You know, Nathan's the latest to go.
- No! - Yeah.
- I thought they'd have to carry him out of here in a box.
Ah, well, erm, yeah, they did.
Oh, oh.
- Hey, who does the bingo? - Nurse Ratchett.
- Ugh.
- Two eights.
88.
Very PC.
The residents hate it.
Jack? Have you forgotten where the bathroom is again? Come on, love.
I'll take you.
Right, I'll see you later, Pete! - Hello.
- Have you heard? Tina's NOT moving in with Adam.
"Jen, hi.
Yeah, yeah, she just told me.
She says, 'Hi.
'" "Hi, Jen.
You all right?" - Oh, right.
So, is she there with you? - "Yes.
She was just leaving.
" - Listen, thanks for letting me bang on.
I'll let you go.
- OK.
- Bye, Jen! - Take care.
Well, anyway, we all saw that one coming.
Not Adam.
Obviously.
Jen, I am so sorry, but I've really got to get back to work.
Can I call you later? Or Or tomorrow? God, yeah.
Sure.
Absolutely, if you haven't got time now.
Thanks, Jen.
Bye.
Just a touch of your love is enough to knock me off of my feet - What's that? - A 'hilarious' clip that's actually only 'mildly amusing'? It's my sister.
Why she'd want to share this, it's beyond me.
- When did she do this? - This morning.
Hi.
Look at your poor sick daughter.
- A speedy recovery for a girl who couldn't go to school.
- Hm, isn't it? Oh, shit.
You are allowed to use the wardrobe for clothes, you know.
I'm gonna love living here, Dad.
And it's so much closer to school.
You are glad we're doing this, aren't you? Yeah.
I'm really happy, son.
Hello.
Good afternoon.
Er Yes.
Erm Hi.
Er Erm Hello.
Hello.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
And And First of all, thank you Nikki for -- .
.
hosting this, er, seminar on Financial Planning For High Net Worth Individuals.
Oh, God! I'm lost already.
That's just the title! David, I did suggest you might want to try the Ladybird version.
Oh.
Right.
OK.
Well, erm Sorry.
Er Let Let me translate.
Er, 'high net worth individuals' .
.
also known as That's more like it! Is it just me or does that remind you of something? Vagina Dentata.
- Eh? - Freud, I think.
The fear of some men that women have teeth down there.
Ohh.
'Vagina Dentata.
' Sounds like 'Hakuna Matata', doesn't it? Well, that's just ruined The Lion King for me.
Ah, there you are.
Jen? Jen, don't you want a word with him? Hey? Oh, yes, I do.
He's been avoiding me.
Probably scared that your bite's worse than your bark.
Hm, well, he's about to find out.
Woof! I've got to hand it to you, David.
The WAGs usually only get this excited when there are paparazzi lurking.
- Thank you.
- My card.
Thank you.
Yes, it went down really rather well.
- Especially when you said that boob jobs might be tax deductible.
- Yes.
Call me any time.
Thanks, Dave.
She's rather - alarming.
- Yeah, don't worry.
Unless you're worth ten mill, you're safe.
If you'd like any more information yourself -- I would.
Perhaps we could arrange to meet up another time.
Of course.
Yes.
Would you like your husband to be present? Ooh, I don't think we need to involve him, David.
Do you? Tina's not to blame.
Oh, it's my own fault, Jen.
You know, I'm never satisfied.
- I always want something more.
- That's the human condition, that is.
Look, you've been going out for, what, nine months? It's not unreasonable to want to move in together.
You think that she's being unreasonable not wanting to? I am not going to slag off your girlfriend! - You always slag off my girlfriends! - Well, hello! No, no, no.
You never take to them at first.
Oh Why do you think that is, Jen? Oh, my God.
Get off me! Listen, I loved Rachel.
- And I like Tina.
- She likes you.
Does she? She likes Karen.
- A lot.
- They are close.
They're probably talking to each other on the phone right now.
Hm.
More tea.
Ugh.
Get something stronger.
- Hey.
- I was just gonna show Liv my room.
- Sure.
- Hi.
Ah, he's so happy here.
Ah, that'd be the double bed.
- Hm? - Mind you, it must have cramped his style living with David.
He'll be right off the leash now.
- Not for long.
- Hey? This is so good of you, Adam.
- Hello, Jenny.
- Hi.
Just for a couple of weeks until you get somewhere long-term.
Of course.
Of course, yes.
- Your bedroom's up by the bathroom.
- Right.
I'll just dump these.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What Aren't you gonna warn them? Ooh.
Er, Matt! David's here! - Oh, Matt, sorry.
- Hi, David.
- Olivia.
- Dad.
- Your blouse isn't tucked in.
Vodka.
Easy on the tonic, my friend.
Oh, yeah? Don't tell Pete, but I think I might be about to get fired.
Oh, Jen.
Why? I had a bit of a run-in at work today.
- The hotel is full.
- Because we've booked out half the bloody rooms! Listen, I've got a keynote speaker arriving a day early.
I expect you to find him a suite.
- He's a VIP.
- He's a toothbrush salesman! 'An orthodontic clinician.
' Thank you.
With letters after his name! Have you got any? Besides GIT.
Listen, among my delegates are a number of hygienists.
Who knows how many hygiene violations they can find in your kitchen.
You wouldn't dare.
Not a room, a suite.
I don't have any.
What I do have is a very good relationship with your boss.
Who I'm now going to inform of your attempt to blackmail me! Hm! My boss rang me earlier.
She's popping in tomorrow for a chat.
Oh, dear.
God, book lovers drink a lot.
- There's not a bad review among them.
- Mm, I know.
Critics are always sniffy.
Envy mostly.
Ellie? Ellie, will you make some coffee, darling? I'm doing my history assignment.
- Well, I'm about to.
- No, you're about to make some coffee.
Why can't? The Independent loves it! And me! Don't be so humble.
You're not an unpublished author any more.
You're a star.
Get used to it.
- This Chapter One bookstore want to know if Bridie will do a signing.
- Yes! Oh, my God.
I have a public.
No reason.
I just wanted to say good night.
We used to do that lying next to each other.
Well, you could come over.
I'd thought about ringing you, but I didn't want to seem clingy.
- I nearly didn't.
- For the same reason? In case you weren't alone.
Hm.
We mustn't start second-guessing each other.
No, you're right.
We should be open and honest and if we are missing each other we should feel that we can say it.
Yeah.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Weight of love on my shoulders I miss you.
.
.
I thought that it would be easier than this I found my heart - We're delighted you chose to join us.
- Me, too.
When's naptime? Sorry.
Let me introduce you to my team.
Sarah, this is Adam, our new IT guru.
- Sarah handles our marketing.
- Great.
- I'm no longer the oldest person here.
- Hm, is that why I got the job? Yeah, positive discrimination.
- We've met before.
- Have we? - Yeah.
I feel like we have.
- Now you mention it, you do look familiar.
You may have seen Sarah on our website.
She's the face of our middle-aged range.
- Something of a back-handed compliment.
- No, no, no.
They chose well.
Actually, if you're looking for any mature male models Hm.
Your desk's over here.
Uh-huh.
Whee! Whoo! There you go.
Right.
Let's have a look, then.
It's high, isn't it? High? Well, technically, you should be dead.
- Oh, dear.
- Not been holding this on the radiator, have you? Hm? Come on, Chlo.
What's going on? You like school.
- It's Sasha.
- She's your best friend.
She was, but now she's friends with Kayla Roach.
And you don't like Kayla? - No, I do.
- She's feeling left out.
They don't want to spend any time with me any more.
- Oh, sweetheart.
I'm sure that's not true.
- Hm Two's company three's a crowd.
- Jen, that's not really helping.
- True, though.
You're besties with someone, you think you always will be.
Then someone else comes along.
It's like the two of you were nothing special.
It's rubbish, really.
- Have you talked to her? - No.
No, I mean, obviously, she hasn't.
Well, I think you should.
I don't suppose it's even occurred to Sasha that you're feeling like this.
And, if she's a true friend, she wouldn't want you to.
Hey? Actually, your dad's right.
That's what we should do.
Clever.
Aw.
Oh, hi.
Time for coffee and a Bourbon? Yeah, come on.
Come on.
I feel childish saying this, but .
.
don't you like me any more? I hardly ever see you.
Oh, come on, Jen.
Look, I've been so busy recently, I -- Ramona.
Ramona! Sorry, Jen.
Kar -- Marsden House Publishing.
No, I'm sorry.
She's in a meeting at the moment.
- Sorry.
I was in the toilet.
- Yeah, I'll just put you through to her PA.
Jen, how are you? You're looking well.
- Ramona? - Oh, yes, sorry.
Hello.
Bridie Sellers Not too busy for Tina, are you? No, I've seen her.
That's true.
Yeah.
- Are you jealous? - No.
No, I'm not.
- You are, Jen! - No, I'm not.
Oh, I don't know, I might be a bit.
Oh, Jen.
It used to be just you and me.
Cagney and Lacey, Thelma and Louise, I don't know - Pinky and Perky.
- We still are that.
Oh, I'm sorry, Jen.
Look, I should have made more effort.
It's just you're my friend.
I miss you.
Jenny.
Oh, Karen, Karen.
It's Woman's Hour.
Oh, blimey.
Listen, you're busy.
I'll go.
Right.
We're gonna go out for dinner really soon.
OK? - Just the two of us.
I promise.
OK? - See you.
No, it's OK.
We can We can invite Tina.
Just won't tell her the right restaurant.
- "Yes?" - David Marsden.
I have an appointment with Mrs Kirkbright.
"It's me, David.
I don't do staff.
" - Oh.
My cue to leave.
- Hey? I had a call about you yesterday.
The hotel manager? 'Incompetent, aggressive, unhinged.
' - Yeah, that's him.
- That's how he described you.
'Unhinged' is a bit harsh.
And, in seven years' time, any funds invested in trust for your children will no longer be subject to inheritance tax.
What happens if we get divorced? Forgive me, but is that likely? Well, who was it who said, 'No-one marries expecting to divorce'? Me.
Twice.
Twice? You picked badly.
Or they did.
Shit.
- Hm? - Well, he shouldn't be home.
- Your husband? - We need to hide your stuff.
It'd be good to meet him.
Nikki! Next door's dog shat in the drive again! - Erm, you need to go out the back.
- What? Well, he, erm He He mustn't see you.
Thank you.
Just this way.
That's right.
Lovely.
Thank you very much.
- Through here? - Not that door.
That one.
That one.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- OK.
Thanks.
Lovely to see you, David.
- Yeah, but -- - Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Ah Oww! Oh, shit! Are you nervous? - Why would I be? - Well, at your launch party you were.
God, I was like a different person then.
Mm, thank you.
- You'll stay close by me, won't you? - So, you are a bit? No.
In case I want anything.
Actually, I do.
Water.
Can you get me some? Hi! Thank you so much for coming.
Yeah, sure.
Darling, danke schoen - Thank you.
- Who shall I sign it to? Tanya.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- OK? I want sparkling.
.
.
picture shows Hi.
Who shall I sign it to? .
.
was the place we'd meet Second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet I usually decline when young men invite me out for coffee.
Actually, you're the first.
I wanted to ask you something.
Why don't you want to live with us? I thought you were going to.
I was.
Briefly.
Have you and Dad fallen out? No.
- Why? Has he said something? - No.
Nothing.
I mean, literally, he just sits there pretending to do his crossword.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Hard luck again! Dad? Do you want a go? No.
I'm good.
- Re-match.
- OK.
The best of three.
Grovel in the gravel.
He's miserable, Tina.
So am I.
That's why I was hoping you'd move in.
- Matt -- - I know you're scared.
I was, when Dad moved back to Manchester.
We hadn't lived together for years.
- I didn't want us to screw things up.
- Exactly! But think what we'd have missed out on, if we hadn't tried.
You know, us young people, we're always being told, 'Do stuff, life begins where your comfort zone ends.
' Why should it be any different when you get older? I wish it was that simple.
Hi, love.
Sit down, will you, a minute, Pete.
Well, come on, sit down.
Ohh Right.
- I had to see the boss today.
- Oh, no! You've not been sacked, have you? Oh, well, thanks for the vote of confidence! Although, to be fair, that is what I was expecting.
- I've had my eye on you for a while.
- Oh, God! - Really? - I like what I'm seeing.
- Look, I'll say sorry - Sorry? - You're wasting your talents behind this desk.
I'd like you to join me in head office.
- Am I not losing my job? - It's a promotion with a salary to match.
And the hours Oh, I don't I don't think I should take it.
Do you not want to? Well, yeah, yeah, I do.
But Chloe needs me here.
You know, all this stuff with her friends, if I'd been around more, I might have seen the signs.
Jen, it's important that you have a job that's fulfilling.
Mine's not.
My clients don't appreciate me.
They don't even thank me.
Well, that's not true.
A regular did lick me the other day, but she's a dog.
- Pete, come on! - No, she actually is.
I was driving her to doggy day care.
See, that's what I do.
I run errands for rich people, so they can waste more time on their empty lives.
Sometimes, I'm worried that I've left the door open for the black dog to sneak back in.
You're not talking about the one who licked you, are you? No.
Pete, your health's more important than anything, you know that.
Look, there's a job at my old care home.
Entertainments Officer.
I think I could be good at it.
- Yeah? - It's part-time.
The shitty pay is even shittier than before.
But it means that I could be around for the kids.
And your pay rise, well, that'd cover us.
Really? You are a very nice man.
Well, one of us has to be.
I told you about that.
Hey, Chlo.
How was school? - Good.
I'm friends with Sasha again.
- Ah, and what about Kayla? Sasha says she's too needy.
We've unfriended her.
Oh, no, Chloe! Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Pete.
It's all right.
It's a jungle out there.
She's just learning how to survive.
Yeah, but what if she grows up like that? With you in her corner she won't.
This girl I know needs some shelter Mum! You haven't washed this.
I need it tomorrow.
Let me show you where the washing machine is.
.
.
I'll stand in front of you I'll take the force of the blow - Are you expecting Olivia? - No.
Oh.
I realised I didn't get you a house-warming present.
I recognise this.
You love unicorns.
I love you, too.
Does the offer to move in still stand? Come on.
Matt? Set another place, will you? Way ahead of you, Dad.
Everyone, everyone needs A home