Cold Feet (1997) s07e02 Episode Script

Series 7, Episode 2

1 - It's time to take this to the next level.
- It's a key.
I can't move in with him.
Welcome to the celebration of the first book to come out of Marsden House Publishing.
You'll stay close by me, won't you? In case I want anything.
- Am I not losing my job? - It's a promotion with a salary to match.
Oh, Pete.
An entree to the Cheshire set.
We could arrange to meet up.
- Would you like your husband present? - We don't need to involve him.
He mustn't see you.
Just this way.
That's right.
Lovely.
[Shit.
.]
There's a job at my old care home.
Part-time.
With your pay rise that'd cover us.
- Why don't you want to live with us? - I wish it was that simple.
- He's miserable, Tina.
- Oh.
- Come on.
- Did you remember the poppadoms? - Sorry I'm late, meeting ran over.
- Ah, that used to be my excuse.
- I remember her complaining.
- Where's the kitchen roll? - Oh, it's under the sink.
- That's not where I keep it.
- It is now.
Careful, that one's hot.
- He's forgotten his shirt.
- Dad.
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
I was just thinking this is almost exactly how I imagined it would be.
- Here, dishwasher.
- Ah, yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, I've told him to rinse.
He just won't listen.
- Why buy a dog and then bark yourself? - So you don't wear the dog out.
That makes no sense.
Next.
- And finally - My room.
- Er, the guest room.
- Well, temporarily mine.
- Oh, might be a good nursery, this.
Hm.
That'd be one way of getting rid of him.
Seems like a drastic length to go to.
Right, let's check the bathroom out.
- Bye! - Always a pleasure.
- See you soon.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
- I'm glad we're long past that stage.
- What, falling in love? - Moving in together, all that.
Cracks are already beginning to show.
- What? It's OK, you're a bloke.
You wouldn't notice.
Well, how long will it be before they're having a row? Wouldn't be surprised if they're already hard at it.
God save Ireland! With our genes we'd make great babies.
I was thinking out loud.
I didn't mean anything by it.
- What? Saying what great babies you'd make as you're having sex? - No! It was just after.
I wasn't saying we should.
I just wondered what her opinion was.
And what was it? With our genes we'd make great babies.
At your age you'd make a better grandad.
It just slipped out, as it were.
It was meant to be a joke.
Yeah, but you can see why he might take that seriously.
Hm.
Well, you have to admit Tina has got a point.
You know, I know I don't look my age but I'm no spring chicken.
- And you're a bollock short.
- No, that makes no odds, apparently.
One ball is the same as two.
Well, it would be if she actually wanted kids.
- Don't you? - I don't know, Karen.
I tried with Liam, but it didn't happen.
Then when he died I thought, 'OK.
It's not to be.
' I was fine with that.
Got on with my life as best I could.
I never expected to fall in love again.
And then along came Adam.
Along came Adam.
And, yeah, if we were both a bit younger, him a fair bit, then sure.
But I don't know if I want to go down that road again.
You know All that hope and despair.
Is that what's holding you back? Tina, if you wanted children once, does that change? - What if it's too soon? - So how long do you wait? Two years? Five? You know, you'll be well into your 40s by then.
What you don't want is to wake up one day and think, 'OK, the time's right,' only to realise that you've left it too late.
It's a shame.
You know, I always fancied the idea of more children.
- Oh.
- I wouldn't want to start again.
- You know, all that mopping up.
- And then there's all the gear.
- Yeah, so much gear.
- And getting up in the middle of the night.
Although at our age we're getting up several times anyways.
Maybe you could combine the two.
Then you've got a toddler.
You don't want to be one of those dads who plays with their kids on the floor and can't get up again.
Worse still, in your mid-60s sharing with a teenager.
Well, I haven't found the teenage years too bad.
Well, it helps if you're not living with them.
Josh was a bit difficult.
'Course, we now know why.
- Chloe's starting all that puberty stuff.
- Very tricky.
- For girls and their fathers.
- Steer well clear, I say.
- Well, at our age, yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
So's Tina.
It's a stupid idea.
It's a young man's game.
I don't know what I was thinking about.
And anyway, I have Matthew.
Who'd need any more? You know? And the fact that Tina doesn't want kids, well, it's it's for the best, really.
Yeah.
It's for the best.
OK, a book blogger wants to have an interview with Bridie.
- Oh, no, she won't do that.
- What, too nervous? No, too grand.
She'll only do national press now.
She start to get right up herself, that one.
OK.
Oh, you can set your watch by him.
Oh.
Hello.
You're expecting Justin.
I must be a let-down.
- Well, I don't know.
Who are you? - Benjamin Stevens.
May I come in? - I'm doing my death out here.
- Yeah.
Right.
Er, let's start again.
Benjamin Stevens.
Justin asked me to come.
He's, er, he's been detained in Los Angeles.
- Oh.
By the authorities? - On business.
He's basing himself out there for for the foreseeable.
Oh, that's a shame.
I used to enjoy our investor meetings.
Well, hope I can make them just as satisfying.
Hm.
Er, Ramona.
My PA.
This is Benjamin, Justin's Er, sorry, what are you exactly? - His proxy.
- Poxy? I don't know this word.
Well, it means that Benjamin is Karren Brady to Justin's Alan Sugar, - his eyes and ears.
- No.
I'm more than that.
His mouth and lungs and large intestine.
In his absence I'm empowered to act on his behalf.
You must think of me as if I am Justin.
Right.
Should we get down to business? Yeah.
Do you sometimes feel like we're the only grown-ups here? - Tell me about it.
- I'm still trying to work out where I know you from.
Tinder? No, I'm joking.
Haven't used that for a couple of years.
- You met someone, did you? - Married someone.
Not through Tinder.
That didn't work out.
Then I met someone else.
How about you? - I've never used it.
- No, no, no.
I mean are you, erm? - Oh.
Er, no, I'm single.
- Ah.
- Perhaps it's Ireland? - Not recently.
I've lived in Chorlton for the last ten years.
Chorlton? Jeez.
We're neighbours.
I'm in Didsbury.
Just moved in with my girlfriend Tina.
- Tina? - Yeah.
Hey Know what? You should come over one night and meet her.
Sure the pair of you would get on like a house on fire.
All right, ladies? - Do you mind if I join you? - I wish you would.
We're sick of the sight of each other.
I'm Pete, your new Entertainments Officer, and I wondered if there's anything you'd like me to arrange.
A new pack of cards.
This one's missing the ace of spades.
Oh, hey, he's David Copperfield.
- How did you do that? - It was under your chair.
So, what can we look forward to, Peter? - Well - Apart from death, of course.
All the old favourites.
Bingo.
Film club.
Tea dance.
- We need men.
- At your age? - Oh, not in that way! For the dancing.
There aren't enough go round.
- I always get lumbered with Bernice.
- And she always insists on leading.
'Find men.
' Any idea where I should start looking? - Most are in the cemetery.
- I think we best not disturb them, eh? Ah, snap! Oh, Oona! We're playing Rummy! Seems a lot to spend on a party.
Well, it would have been, but, you know, it was a book launch.
It was an investment in the company's future.
In a swimming baths.
The cost would suggest you had to drain them.
- Perhaps you'd like a copy? - These are the only sort of books that interest me.
And yours don't make for pretty reading.
I think I got here just in time.
I was thinking of inviting a friend from work one night.
- Oh, you're making friends? - Well, she's the only person I've got anything in common with.
By that you mean the only person born in the same decade? Same century, more like.
- My diary's free.
- Oh, yeah.
A foursome.
That would work.
Oh, look, you've done it again.
It goes knives, forks, spoons.
That's why it's divided into compartments.
I'm sorry.
I forget.
Yeah, well, it saves time in the long run.
- It seems like a bit of a faff.
- God, if we can't agree on that, we'd do a terrible job of bringing up kids.
- It's a good job we don't want any.
- Oi.
- Any of our own.
Oh! All right, team, look lively.
We've got a visit from management.
Does this mean I'm gonna have to treat you with respect now? - Stand up when you walk in? - Could you? - Not easily.
A salute will do.
How are you finding the new job? - Well, yeah, it's challenging.
- Uh-huh.
I'm sort of loving the responsibility, though.
Yeah, well, just don't let it go to your head.
Not a chance with you around snapping at my ankles.
Yeah, well, when you're CEO, I'll still be here to remind you where you came from.
That's what friends are for.
CEO.
You're late.
This is live radio.
You're due on air.
Yeah, well, I'm here now.
They'll wait.
Yeah.
Well, I have been.
The last 20 minutes.
Yeah, well, I didn't ask you to come.
I don't need my hand holding.
You needed waking up.
Another late night, was it? Are you like this with your daughters? All right, ladies.
We're late, on in five.
Thank you.
- 'This is KEY 103.
- Sorry we're late.
- Dad.
- It's fine.
They've all been fine.
Please just pick one.
If you want to go, we can meet you later.
- Yeah, just leave us your credit card.
- No, I'll wait.
- David? - Nikki! Oh, fancy seeing you here.
I wouldn't expect you to What, you think I'm more sort of M&S? - No, not that.
- I'm shopping with my daughters.
For my sins.
I'm buying shirts for my husband for mine.
Look, I'm sorry about the other day.
I didn't think he'd come home.
Yes, yes.
I rather got that impression.
Oh, this colour would suit you.
I'd like to see you again if I haven't scared you off.
No.
Er, should I come round to the house? No.
Let's meet somewhere more discreet.
I'll text you.
Who's that? Oh, she's a sort of potential client.
She didn't look like a client.
She's attractive.
Liv, do you think I could dress better? Not without help.
- Well, would you? Help me, I mean.
- Sure.
- What image are you after? - Don't know.
That's where you come in.
Something that might attract potential clients? - Can we go now? - Good.
Finally.
Oh, hang on.
I'll just, erm, I'll just grab something for myself .
.
since we're here.
Two of last week's delegates claim we made them ill.
Probably an extortion bid.
Investigate, will you? Yeah? Right, yeah, I will.
Oh, listen, while I've got you, next month's conference on the treatment of phobias.
- We've had a number of delegates cancel, I'm afraid.
- Oh, shit! Why? Fear of flying, mainly.
Three can't cope in crowds.
I'm not gonna lie, numbers are so low there's a risk the agoraphobics are gonna freak out.
- This is no laughing matter, Jenny.
- No.
We're going to have to find a way to cut costs.
- We could scrap the welcome drinks.
- And start a riot? Well, it won't be a very big one, would it? More of a ruckus.
Have you any good ideas? Well, with fewer delegates we won't need so many staff, I suppose.
There's a fair amount of fat, OK? You know, being in head office, you don't realise.
Hm, losing two would help the bottom line.
Yeah, I don't envy you having to tell them, though.
No, but if you're destined for high office, - you have to be prepared to do it.
- Yeah.
- Are you, Jenny? - Me? - Well, you know where the fat is.
Who better to cut it out? With our website you upload a couple of photos of yourself, input your vital statistics, and the software creates a model with your features and body type.
Here.
I'll show you what I mean.
This is the page I created for myself.
Is that meant to be you? It is me.
- In your dreams.
- I mean, you know, OK.
A little bit of creative licence, maybe.
- That would explain why none of your clothes fit.
- Mm-hm.
- Why haven't you got any pubes? - Taste.
- That's tasteful? - Well, the alternative isn't.
Erm, well, look, now what you do is you have to decide what clothes you're going to wear.
- Underpants.
- OK.
- Quickly! - Erm, how about those? Oh, God, it's gross! - This is beyond weird.
- I know.
- Those.
- Right, OK, OK.
Boring but better, yes.
You know, it's rather like Bunty magazine when we were young.
On the back page you cut out this figure of a girl in different outfits and dress her up in them.
- You read Bunty? - My sister did.
Oh, I keep forgetting you have a sister.
Yes, well, we don't really talk about her, so - He probably didn't mean it.
- Then why did he say it? - Because he's Adam.
You can't be surprised by that.
- What? That he just casually says he doesn't want any more children? No, because he speaks before he engages brain.
He and Rachel didn't intend Matthew to be an only child.
They just never got the chance for more.
- Do you think he's changed his mind? - I don't know.
Ask him! Honestly, you're as bad as each other.
- How's the makeover going? David looking debonair? - Smoking.
Even you might be tempted to ride him again.
- (Talk to him.
) - All right.
- Bollocks.
Did I say the wrong thing? - I'm really pissed off with you.
- Huh? - What makes you think I don't want to have any kids? - What? - I mean, it's news to me that you don't, but if that's how you feel about it, that's fine.
- I didn't say I didn't want to have any more.
- Yeah, you did.
Oh, that was because you said you didn't.
- I said I didn't? - Mm.
- No, I didn't! OK, right.
Tina.
Would you like to have children? No.
OK.
Yes! I don't know.
Adam, you're missing the point! - What am I missing? - Sensitivity.
Do you know, for years I've closed my mind off to the thought of having any kids.
And then you open the door on the idea and slam it in my face before I've had a chance to think it over.
Oh, OK.
You want some time to think it over.
Five minutes might be nice, yeah.
- You're always doing this.
- What? Sailing off ahead, leaving me in your wake trying to catch you up.
I I only came in here for a beer.
- I'm really pleased that we're living together.
- Me, too.
So I'd just like to be allowed a moment to enjoy it before we start thinking about having a family.
Absolutely.
Of course.
Yes.
- But you're not ruling it out? - Oh, God.
- What? - You.
You don't listen.
- Gosh.
Well, erm, yeah.
- Well, erm, maybe lose the hat.
- OK.
- Dad! You look a million dollars.
- Well - And that's how much it costs.
- Yeah, not much less.
Well, yeah, it's It's an investment in my future.
Mm-hm.
Oh, OK.
Let's just go ahead with it.
Erm, can you punch that in? - Destined for high office? - Yeah, that's what she said.
Doesn't come without price, though.
It's like being in the Mafia.
I probably have to do something horrible with a horse's head to prove my bones.
That doesn't mean you have to whack two of your colleagues.
The fat is eating into the bottom line.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
- You're already talking like senior management.
- Mm, think so? It wasn't a compliment, Jen.
Look, I don't want you to be part of this.
Look, if I don't fire them, somebody else will.
Then they'll be destined for flipping high office.
Yes, but at least you'll still have your soul.
Question is, who gets the bullet? First choice is easy.
Meg.
Been with the firm five years, as clueless as the day she arrived.
There's Jeremy.
He's a bit pointless, but shows promise.
Lynn? Nah.
Can't be her.
Big hit with the fellas.
Then there's Tracey, slack, sloppy and shit.
Jen! No, no, no! - She's your friend.
- It's business.
- But she's in a wheelchair.
- So? - So that's discrimination.
No, it's not.
Listen, Tracey has always insisted on being treated equally.
- That's what I'm doing.
- She might never work again.
Should have done her job better, then, shouldn't she? All this power .
.
making me feel a bit Sexy Suzy.
- Oh, look, come on, Jen No.
- No? - I'm serious.
For your sake I won't allow you to fire Tracey.
How exactly do you propose to stop me? Well, if you can assure me that Tracey's job is safe, then, and only then, will I be prepared .
.
to satisfy your carnal desires.
Goodnight.
- All right, chaps? - Oh, my God.
Look at you.
I thought I'd debut my new image.
What do you think? Well, it's gonna be wasted on this lot.
- What are we doing here? - Come on.
He told me he wanted help shifting the furniture.
We've been going over this for two days and I'm very busy.
So unless you have any other questions You have other authors you're working with? Well, I intend to.
But at the moment I'm focusing on Bridie.
- All your eggs in one basket.
- Golden eggs.
So long as she keeps laying.
If she doesn't, we're in trouble.
Do you know what? I really need to get on.
How long until her second novel is published? - Er, well, we're working on that.
- Oh.
What's it called? - The title? - I believe that's the technical term.
We're working on that, too.
Excuse me one minute.
I just have to look at something.
Ramona, Ramona.
- Put this call through to me now, OK? - Huh? What call? That call through to me now.
OK, what were we saying? - The title of Bridie's new book.
- Oh, yes.
Oh, sorry.
- Karen Marsden.
- Karen, I don't understand.
(It's the Frankfurt Book Fair.
) Elke! Hi.
How are you doing? Great to hear you.
- Elke? - Hang on a minute.
(She tends to go on a bit, so can we continue this another time?) - Hello? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm still here.
You can see yourself out, can't you, Benjamin? Hi, yeah.
How's Helmut? - Who's Helmut? - Yeah, and little Klaus? God almighty.
Paloma? Er, no, it's Ramona, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Tell me, Bridie's new book - Ah, she start writing it! - Start? Don't you mean finish? Ugh! My English.
He is not very good.
No.
But he's not that bad.
Arsehole.
Thank God for that.
He was doing my head in! Oh! It would not be wise to play me for a fool.
Call me with a publication date, and if you don't want this partnership dissolved, it had better be soon publication, that is.
I'll be back tomorrow.
Nobody wants to dance with me.
Reminds me of our old disco days, sitting on the sidelines.
That was you.
I was in the middle doing my stuff.
- I bet those two aren't even lesbians.
- Why don't you just cheer up, eh? This is about Tina moving in.
Jenny suspected there'd be teething trouble.
She's quite perspicacious, isn't she? Well, if that means 'meddlesome', then yes.
- I just don't understand her.
- Who, Jenny? - Tina! You know, one minute she doesn't want children, the next minute she does, or maybe she doesn't.
Bloody women, eh? - God, how many sugars are in that? - Three, usually.
- Jesus.
You've just got your wires crossed, that's all.
It's just the stress of setting up house.
You know, it's not easy, especially when you're older.
You're used to having things a certain way.
But having a third person around, that can't help.
- It's not Matt's fault.
- I meant David.
Maybe you ought to send him on his way.
- Mm.
Can I have a second glass? - You already did.
You're not gonna get much done if you're half-pissed.
I don't intend to be half-pissed.
Bridie, this won't do.
When do you think you might deliver? God, do you understand anything about the writing process? I know how scary it can be, particularly on the back of a success.
You know nothing.
The most you've written is a shopping list.
- OK, that's enough.
She doesn't want that.
- Yes, I do.
Take it away.
I want to see everything you've written.
- You won't like it.
- Where's the rest of it? - That's all I'm happy with.
- What do you mean, that's all? Bridie, you've had months.
I've got 300 pages but it's all over the place.
I'm not even sure it's all the same story.
OK.
Calm down, OK.
I'm gonna read everything you've written, all 300 pages of it, and then we're gonna see where we stand.
- I'm just up to my ears in shit! - I'm sure that's not true.
I hope it isn't, or I'm even deeper in it.
You move so gracefully.
- And you dress so well.
- Thank you, Vera.
Are you by any chance a homosexual? - I was hoping to impress the ladies.
- Oh, you have.
If I hadn't had both hips replaced, you'd have no say in the matter.
I can't believe you don't have admirers.
Well, I have recently met someone.
And my daughters think she might be interested.
Ooh, well, I'm sure she is.
- So why do I sense some reticence? - (She's married.
) Oh, well, that's their look-out, not yours.
That was always my attitude whenever some handsome young fellow made eyes at me.
And what did your husband say to that? Oh, David.
He didn't know.
Don't be old and have regrets, David.
Life's too short to care about convention.
Peter, would you care for the next dance? Vera, I would be delighted.
Unbelievable.
So, Len Goodman, have you found anywhere else to live yet? - I haven't started looking.
- Would you mind? Of course, of course.
It was very good of you to have me there at all.
Oh, no rush.
End of the week should be fine.
Thanks for coming, team.
As instructed, I have completed my investigation.
Now it just remains for me to apportion blame, I'm afraid.
Do we have to? I mean, it could have just been an accident, couldn't it? Actually, the food ordered at the hotel was of the highest quality, which is all credit to the person who chose the menu.
Well, that was me.
Or would be, if we hadn't served Carpaccio at a conference for vegetarians.
- Well, I wasn't to know - Vegetarians don't eat meat? .
.
what Carpaccio is.
I thought it was a cold vegetable soup.
- Yeah, that's gazpacho.
- They sound very similar.
Look, it was an honest mistake.
That caused nausea and threats to sue.
Which is why I have no alternative than to say that for you, Tracey, this is the end of the process.
You're fired.
- You fired Tracey? - No! Well, briefly.
I was only messing with her.
Oh, wait, wait! You're not fired.
I'm making you redundant instead.
Well, I'm sure that made her feel a whole lot better.
Not really, no.
Although it should have done.
I mean, that way she serves a notice and gets a payoff.
- I didn't have to do that.
I only did it cos I care.
- Care? Caring's what I do.
Looking after the sick and the vulnerable.
I'm not sure if you know the meaning of the word any more.
Do you get high.
.
- Hey, son.
Can I come in? - Yeah.
Don't really know how to say this, but .
.
would it upset you if Tina and I were to try for a baby? - Well, imagining it does.
- No, no.
I mean .
.
how would you feel if you had a half-brother or -sister? A half-sibling? I don't know.
- Might be a bit weird.
- Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Why? Well - You're a bit old.
- Thank you.
Does Tina want a baby? - I don't know, to be honest.
- Shouldn't you ask her? You'd think it would be simple.
I've tried.
But women, they can be very complicated creatures.
Sometimes it's like they're speaking an entirely different language.
- Swahili.
- Have you thought of learning Swahili? - I'm speaking figuratively, Matthew.
- So am I.
What I mean is maybe you need to look beyond the words, and try a little harder to discern their meaning.
Hm.
Interesting.
- You're 16, right? - And a half.
Must be a good school.
- My mum's genes.
- Your Dad's looks.
Thanks, mate.
I'll get it, shall I? Come on, move.
Do you fancy coming for dinner one night, David? Thank you.
Yes, yes, I'd love to.
- Can you cook? - Huh? - I don't have time.
- I gave the girls beans on toast the other night.
- Yeah, sure.
I could help you out.
Actually, I've got a favour to ask you.
You see, Adam's kicking me out at the end of the week.
And I just wondered, whilst I'm looking for something long-term and, er, you know, while Josh is away at university, if So - .
.
on the subject of babies - Mm.
I'm not gonna ask you again.
I know it's complicated.
It's 15 years since Rachel died.
It's only six since you lost Liam.
You're still raw.
In time you'll decide one way or another, and then you'll let me know.
I have decided.
I would like a baby with you.
Really? If you still want to.
- You don't think I'm too old? - Mm, getting there.
Well, there's no time like the present.
- Brace yourself, Bridget.
- No.
I don't mean right now.
Just in time.
Look, we can't leave it too long.
I mean, you know, I'm pushing 50.
You're closing in on 40.
Eh, not as fast as you're nearing 50.
Cheeky bastard.
Well, maybe we should just leave it to chance, eh? Not try for a baby, not 'not try' for one.
Isn't that the same thing? Possibly.
Is that what you'd like to do? Yes.
But only if you want to.
(OK.
) - David.
- Nikki.
Lovely to see Oh, the shirt.
Yes, yes.
You suggested it might suit me.
- I was right.
- Good.
Thank you.
Erm, I hope I haven't been too presumptuous.
- It's a bit early.
- Oh, it's never too early for champagne.
- What shall we drink to? - What would you like to drink to? Let's drink to us.
To, erm, a mutually beneficial relationship.
May my husband never find out.
Right.
- So, let's get down to it, shall we? - Can't we finish our drinks? - Well, we can do both at the same time, can't we? - Huh? It's not like anybody's gonna be watching.
This is about your finances.
Salting money away where George can't find it.
What? Now, you mentioned unit trusts.
Do you happen to have the application forms with you? By complete stroke of luck, I have.
Let's sit down somewhere, shall we? You're avoiding me, missus.
- Clearly not.
- You are, though.
You don't stop for a chat any more.
You duck out of meetings that I am in.
I mean I can't talk about it.
Not here.
Oh.
OK, well, look, do you want to meet for a drink after work? Pub across the road? - OK.
- OK.
Thank you, David.
I, er I really appreciate your help and your discretion.
Absolutely, Nikki.
Absolutely.
Hi, Tracey.
You all right, Pete? Good to see you.
Erm, Jenny's not here.
Head office, most like.
Well, it wasn't her I came to see.
Do you have a minute? In a couple of weeks I'll have more time than I know what to do with.
Yeah, about that So, is it, er, you know, any good? Any good? Well, you could always read it yourself.
I'll defer to your judgment.
Thank you, Benjamin.
The answer is no, it's not good.
It needs re-writing, re-structuring, more re-writing.
But then it will be every bit as good as The Deep End.
So, when will it be ready? Oh, the question you really want answered.
- I'll get it! - That depends on Bridie, doesn't it? But I am confident that we could make publication by Christmas.
That's what I need to hear.
Er, Mum - your author's here.
- Ah, the golden-egg-layer.
- I finally meet her.
- Well, invite her in.
Excuse me, Benjamin.
Oh, my God, what's happened? Bridie? For God's sake.
Oh, I'm a fraud, Karen.
I'm Emily Bronte.
Mary Wollstonecraft.
Harper Lee.
- What's she on about? - One-hit wonders.
- She has a high opinion of herself.
- I have nothing left to give.
- Oh! - She got that wrong.
- Come, Ramona, help me get her up.
Come on.
Olivia? What's wrong? Ramona, come on.
Help me get her to the bathroom.
Ellie, will you make some coffee, please? Oh, come on.
- By Christmas.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, come on, Bridie.
- Ugh.
- Up you go.
Jen, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
What for? Oh.
Oh, I see.
Best pretend you don't know.
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
What are we talking about? The job Pete's found me.
It's perfect.
The one at his care home.
Easy hours, nice warm office, and a clientele that's mostly medicated.
- I can't thank you enough! - Yeah, that's OK.
To be honest, I thought you were hanging me out to dry.
'Bitch,' I thought.
But Pete said you're not like that.
You wouldn't turn your back on a friend.
Here you go.
Got us doubles.
It's happy hour.
For the next hour-and-a-half.
No need to rush.
So, you really don't know where you know me from, do you? I thought it had to be the company website.
You used to live in the centre of town.
- Spring Gardens, yeah.
- I came to your apartment block.
We met in your hallway about a year ago.
- Hello, can I help you? - I'm looking for a woman.
She's having an affair with my husband.
Oh, my God, that was you.
- You remember, then? - Of course.
You pretended she was your wife to throw me off the scent.
It worked.
It was only later I found out that he was with her.
Tina.
So, it's probably best I don't come round for dinner.
Don't you think? Karen, I've been such a bitch to you.
- Not that bad.
- You haven't read my last interview.
Oh.
Mum? I didn't mean any of it.
But everyone keeps telling me I'm brilliant.
Second album syndrome.
Don't worry about it.
We'll get through it, OK? But you are gonna have to look at your drinking and partying.
And the drugs.
It's when I'm alone .
.
the fear really kicks in.
Hiya.
How was your day? Tracey told me what you've done.
- Thank you, Pete.
- I didn't do it for you.
I know you didn't.
Thank you anyway.
Listen, I'm not going to apologise for something I just don't feel I don't want you to apologise because it would be insincere.
- Jen, I know you wanted to impress your boss.
- Oh.
But to do it at the expense of a friend, especially when I begged you not to do it I think we both know where your priorities lie, eh? I think you better go and tell the kids that their dinner's almost ready.
But, Karen, I've been counting on you.
Look, I'm sorry, David, but I've gotta put Bridie in Josh's room.
- You've still got a few days to find somewhere.
- Sure.
Sure.
Bye, David.
Adam, this is the third estate agent I've been to today.
Seriously, cos I'm looking at properties now and - I mean, there's really nothing I can - Well, there's no need.
- Tina's taken pity on you.
- I'm sorry, she's what? She says while the nursery's free you might as well use it.
- Oh, that's - It's only a stay of execution, mind.
At some point we might need that room for someone else.
- Of course, yes.
Thank you.
Both of you.
Thank you.
- Hm.
- Mr David Marsden? - Yes? My employer wondered whether he might have a conversation with you.
- You come highly recommended.
- Oh, that's very nice.
- Why doesn't he give me a call? - He'd prefer a face-to-face - due to the sensitivity of the matter.
- Right.
- He's free now if you have the time.
- Er, yes, I have the time.
But I I don't have my car.
That's all right.
I can give you a lift.
Oh, that makes it easy.
I didn't catch your employer's name.
Hello.
David Marsden.
Should you not have gone by now? - Can I talk to you about something? - Ah, the day finally dawns when the youth seeks his father's counsel, hoping that the elder's wisdom can assist and sustain him through the myriad challenges that lie in wait upon this arduous journey that we call life.
Olivia is pregnant.

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