Cold Feet (1997) s08e03 Episode Script

Series 8, Episode 3

1 Well, if you ask me, mate, I'd say you're worrying over nothing.
I haven't told you what happened yet.
Oh, sorry.
Force of habit.
What happened? Well Hey.
I made you What are you doing? Eh? Oh.
Nothing, just going over some uni notes.
Got a big presentation this morning.
Aw.
Right, so I made you breakfast in bed.
- Yummy.
- Hmm.
Trouble on my left Trouble on my right I've been facing trouble Almost all my life Well, if you ask me, mate, I'd say you're worrying over nothing.
Too small.
You don't think it's a bit weird? You know, like, she's hiding something from me? Something that she doesn't want me to see.
Oh, well, of course she is.
Complicated, academic cerebral stuff you wouldn't understand.
She's probably trying to spur your feelings.
Matt, come here.
Oi.
I've got a degree too, you know? - Mmm.
Yummy.
- Hmm.
Got so much to lose God don't let me lose my mind I still don't see why we couldn't have bought two tents.
Why do we need two tents? Loads of room in this bad boy.
We'll have a right laugh.
Yeah, I know.
It's just You do realise there's gonna be girls at this festival.
Well, this trip is all about you and me.
I've got absolutely no intention whatsoever - You were talking about you, eh? - Mm-hm.
Oh.
All right, well, we'll just come up with a signal for you, then.
- A signal.
- Yeah, we used to use it all the time when we were students.
If any of us ever wanted to have company back at the flat, we would erm I dunno erm hang a tie on the door handle.
- A tie? - Yeah.
Not being funny or anything, Dad, I didn't plan on getting off with a bank manager.
Oh.
Erm, yeah, maybe you're right.
We'll go and swap this one for two smaller ones.
No.
No, no, it's fine.
One tent.
Me and you.
- It'll be fun.
- Sure? - Mm-hm.
- Good lad.
Right.
Ooh.
Thought you were upstairs revising.
Why would you think that? You know, I have absolutely no idea.
Went out to get an outfit for the festival, didn't I? Don't worry, I paid for it myself.
With my own money.
I was more worried about how you'd fit an entire outfit into such a small bag.
An emptiness I can't describe Emptiness, it fills my mind And I can't get out Cos I can't decide If it's what I want To run or to hide We've been through this A thousand times And I get to a point Where I feel just fine And I lose it all And I enjoy the ride Cos there's something missing And I can't find You've been here before, haven't ya? Yes.
Yes, I rather think I have.
- Enjoy your stay.
- Yeah.
Ooh I don't know where I'm going But I know it's with you Thanks a lot.
- Hello again.
- Hello.
You've just had your induction, haven't you? I know.
They spent the last half hour delicately talking you through the next six months.
My guess is you only caught about 25% of it.
Should've brought a notebook.
How are you? If that's not a stupid question, which I know it is.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I've sat across from that poster so many times, it's become my mantra.
- Carpe diem.
- How have your family taken the news? Oh.
I'm just waiting for the right moment.
- I see.
- It isn't easy.
My husband Pete, he's had a lot It just isn't easy.
That's all.
We're going to a music festival tomorrow.
Our eldest, Adam, he's in a band, they're playing.
- Oh, wow.
- He's dead excited.
- Nice.
- So If I say it, you know, out loud, I'm gonna take all that away from them.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just looking for more excuses to keep putting it off.
Maybe I want tomorrow to pretend it's all OK.
One more day for all of us to just have a laugh together.
I mean, when is the right time to say something like that? "Hiya.
Grub's up.
"Vegetable lasagne tonight.
Oh, by the way, I've got cancer.
" Right time's when you're ready.
Charlie Sinclair? You'll know when it comes.
Take care.
And you, Charlie.
Cheers.
Seize the day.
Chloe, get off.
- Why are we not using it? - I will fix it.
Guys, can I say something? Just Hello.
Can I? I need to say something.
I Wait, is that? Vegetable lasagne, yeah.
I just need .
.
to say that I'm so proud and excited about the festival tomorrow.
We're all gonna have a blast.
Yeah, it's gonna be really good, yeah.
Mum is beyond weird sometimes.
Never mind.
- All right.
- Ellie? Adam's here.
You all right? Are we all right? You mean am I still cross with you for fake online grooming my daughter? In my defence, it didn't work.
No more creepy old men buying her clothes.
- Holy shite.
- Right, I'm ready.
Are we gonna go or what? Is that one of the outfits the men? No, she bought that charming little ensemble herself.
Well, that shows it bloody worked.
Yes, Adam.
What would I do without you? So I'm forgiven? You're on probation.
Forgiven.
Oh, buggering bollocks.
Excuse me, are you absolutely sure that breakfast isn't included? - No, I'm sorry.
- Right.
- So, guess what.
- What? Ooh.
Is that a new dress? Eh? Oh.
Yeah.
Do you like it? Yeah, you look lovely.
When did you get it? Oh, a couple of days ago.
Anyway, guess what.
Ian and all my uni gang, they're coming.
- Isn't that lovely? - Nice.
- What, your tutor's coming? - Yeah.
Basically, I've just tripled your audience, mate.
Let's hope I remember to thank you at the BRITs.
They're here.
Right.
Come on, rock stars.
Let's go.
Aw.
Try not to get too nervous, just because your whole future depends on it.
- Mum! - What? Come on, see us off.
Right, Adam.
Shift these bags outside.
- See ya.
- Love ya.
- Bye, love.
- Wow, you look amazing.
Looking pretty hot yourself there, girlfriend.
Thank you.
Mum doesn't think so.
Oh.
If you got it, flaunt it.
If I had it, I would.
Carpe diem.
- Come on.
- Right, let's get this show on the road! Ooh, by the way, that book of yours read it in one sitting.
- Publish it.
It's brilliant.
- Is it? Oh, God, yeah.
Yeah, it's sexy, funny, moving.
Well, you're certainly in the festival spirit.
- What is wrong with you? - Oh, you know me.
Just worrying over nothing.
Seatbelts on.
Off we go! Oh, I stuck it in.
Let's go.
- Bye! - Bye! - Are we nearly there yet? - No.
Get on, get on, get on, get on My groovy train - Morning.
- Hello.
Oh, Jenny.
Gosh, you look er, summery.
- Oi.
- Thanks, David.
Just saying she looks nice.
A man can't compliment a woman on what she? - What on Earth are you wearing? - Leave it, David.
Trust me.
- Just leave it.
- Where's Nikki? Oh, Nikki.
Er, well, you see, the thing is Oh, God, he's blown it.
I haven't blown anything, thank you very much.
Thank goodness for that cos I was gonna say, it'd be your turn to have him on the sofa if he had.
I'd love that.
It's her sister.
She's got appendicitis, poor thing.
I did offer to go with her but she wouldn't hear of it.
Yeah, well, you do have a notoriously bad bedside manner.
Quite.
Plus, she's already paid for my luxury yurt.
Oh.
Hopefully it's all set up.
'Best Day Of My Life' by American Authors Woo, woo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo Woo This is gonna be The best day of my life My li-i-i-i-i-i-i-ife Oh.
OK, everybody.
Erm here she is.
That's a marquis.
Mother of God.
Well, I suppose you could all pitch up here in the grounds of my estate, so to speak.
So, er, Pete and Jenny, you can go in there.
Karen goes there.
Matt, you and I will go here.
Wait.
Hang on.
Who died and made you our leader? Right.
Jen, you and me, we'll go - .
.
here.
- Er Hmm.
Jen, where are you going? - Come on, Matt, unload.
- What are you doing? I'm going to the palace.
Is the king receiving? You're kidding me.
Yeah.
Now I'll show you the basement swimming pool.
- Bloody Nora.
- Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? A man could live here almost permanently.
You've got a widescreen TV.
You've got a widescreen TV! Oh, no.
What? I'd rather hoped it'd be stocked up.
Oh.
I skipped breakfast.
I mean, at these prices, you'd You'd expect it to be all-inclusive.
Cos the best days of our lives Are coming for us Waiting to be realised And it's not a surprise The best days that we'll love Oh.
Any cash you've got on you, keep it in your sock, not your pocket.
Voice of experience.
And don't buy anything off anyone.
No matter what they say.
You'll wind up spending 20 quid on a little white tablet that turns out to be aspirin, trust me.
- I know.
- Right, right.
Also, if I'm crossing a busy road, should I look both ways first or? Too much? I appreciate the effort, though.
- Is that a friend of yours? - Hmm? Oh, yeah.
Goes to my school.
Oh.
"Yeah.
Goes to my school.
" Really? You do know Olivia's sat doing her? Olivia's sat doing what? Nothing.
Just forget it.
There you go, guys.
Thanks very much.
£10 for a measly burger? What is it, foie gras? It's practically extorsion.
I've got £8.
76.
No, sorry.
Help a brother out, will you? - Are you having a laugh? Next.
- Hiya, mate.
Can I have a Burger-licious, please, and a portion of fries? There you are, mate.
Enjoy yourself.
Oh.
Homemade? How many for £8.
76? - Are you police? - Me? Heavens, no.
Don't worry, I'm sure that street trading and pedlar laws don't apply to temporary locales like this.
Hmm.
Thank you.
Oh.
Hello? Hiya.
Oh.
Really? Sounds bloody great.
Where exactly is it? Oh.
No, Ian.
Don't be silly.
Course he doesn't suspect anything.
He even complimented me on this new dress you bought me.
I know.
He is so stupid.
Not all learned like you, Ian.
Dad? OK.
Yeah.
See you in five.
- Dad.
- What? I should really head off to the band.
Oh, yeah, you should.
Yeah, yeah.
Go on.
Go, go, go.
Yeah.
Tell 'em I'll be along in a bit.
- I'm heading to the stage, Mum.
- Aw, see you there.
Jen.
Who was that on the phone? My new mates.
They're doing shots in the Graffiti tent.
Actually, I'm gonna head over there now.
Ooh, can I come? Please, can I come? Yes, you can, young lady.
And give me some of that glitter of yours.
Oh, Pete.
Come and find us when you're finished, will ya? I'll be the one dancing on the podium, pint glass on the end Graffiti tent, here we come.
Off to get a drink.
Now, invest your profits.
That's the key.
A little bit here, a little bit there.
Spread it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't put it all in the same place.
- I hear you.
- Exactly.
Minimise risk.
You gotta give yourself space to grow.
Well, I do most of it in the loft.
Ta.
That's good.
Starting from home.
Hmm.
So, what are your overheads like? I just shifted from fluorescent to metal-halide, actually.
- Uh-huh.
- Man, you really know your stuff, don't ya? I used to do this for a living.
I would give you my card but I'm sort of between jobs at the moment.
Actually, between rather a lot of things, actually.
I feel you, bro.
We've all been there.
- Cookies help, though, eh? - They certainly fill a hole.
That's deep, man.
Really good chatting to you.
And good luck with it all.
- Hey.
- Oh.
Gosh.
Oh, well, thank you.
Pick it, pack it Fire it up, come along And take a hit from the bong Put the blunt down Just for a second Don't get me wrong It's not a new method - Go on, then.
- Go on what? "Go on what.
" Go on.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Cheers, Dad.
Hi, you all right? Have you been in yet? - All right, mate? - Hello.
Have you noticed anything strange about Jen lately? - Like what? - Oh, I dunno.
It looks like I'm losing her to her new academic life and I didn't even see it coming.
Maybe she's right, I should be paying more attention to the family, not some random canal jumper.
Maybe I've taken my eye off the ball.
Maybe I've become too complacent.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Maybe these are pointless questions that you can pointlessly torment yourself with tomorrow.
Today's about your son and the band and being at the start of something amazing.
Isn't it, eh? Yeah.
Yes.
You're damn right.
Right.
I'm off to the sound check.
- Hey.
We should get a reading.
- Hey? - Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.
- Oh, God.
No.
You don't wanna worry about the future.
Living in the here and now.
That's what it's all about.
First round's on me.
Right.
Come on.
Pens down.
You're not hiding out in here all day.
You do know when my exams are? I do, yes.
And I also know you're allowed some down time.
Come on, your sister's off enjoying herself and she's barely done any revision at all.
Did that argument sound better in your head? It did, yes, but come on, the point still stands.
Fine.
I was gonna stop anyway.
Good girl.
Er, can I help you? No, I think I can help you.
Love Comes Slowly.
Tell me about it.
Seriously, Karen, who brings a book to a festival? - And a dirty one, at that.
- It's not dirty.
It's contemporary romance.
And what do you mean, help me? Help me do what, exactly? Well, follow your own advice.
Ditch the homework, have some fun.
Excuse me, what's that supposed to mean? - Well - Where's Matt? - What? - Oh, I get it.
You've been dumped, haven't you? Now you don't know what to do with yourself.
Well, that makes two of us.
Come on.
What do you say we team up, get out there and I'll show you what festivals are really all about? - Oh, really? - Yeah.
- OK.
- What's that? Gimme, gimme.
That, Adam, is my festival hat.
Glasto '94? That's 25 years ago.
- Yeah, so? - Festivals have changed somewhat.
When was the last time you were at one? Sorry, what? Pardon? Reading.
Reading 1992! Yeah, well, that'd make me a whole two years closer to all this.
So how about I show you what festivals are really about? - Come on.
- Okey-doke.
- Jen, can you hear me? - 'What?' - Where are ya? - I can't hear you.
- 'Where are you?' - Graffiti tent.
- Jen? - 'Hang on.
Hang on.
' - Agh.
Hello? - I'm on my way to the band tent.
To be honest, I think it'd be nice if - - 'What? I can't hear ya.
' - I said I'm on my way David? What you doing? Ohhhh.
When logic and proportion - Have fallen sloppy dead - I can see you.
And the white knight Is talking backwards David? What you doing? Right.
Well, I'm heading off to catch Adam's band rehearsal, if you'd care to tag along.
- Ohhhh.
- In your own time, then.
Hmm? Remember Huh.
Do you see me or just a facsimile? This is what you think festivals are really all about? - Shh.
- Absolutely.
You smile at me, I wink at you.
Youthful rebellion and anger through art.
Sticking it to the man.
- What, this? - Yeah.
Are these emoticons or emotional cons? It's a poem about a mobile phone, Karen.
It is a metaphor.
I don't want you to go.
But I can't find my charger.
Shh.
Were we ever truly together? - Terrible.
- I told you, it's different now.
I suppose 25 years is quite a long time.
- Karen and Rachel? - Mm-hm.
- My Rachel? - Not back then, she wasn't.
No, I suppose she wasn't.
I don't think she ever told me she'd been to Glastonbury.
Ooh, yeah.
You wouldn't have caught either of us sitting around reading a book back then, trust me.
'What happens at the festival stays at the festival.
' - Do tell.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
Sorry, Adam.
That weekend and the following night in custody cell will remain forever between me and my Rachel.
- Wow.
- Mmm.
Karen, what in the name of holy shite is a silent disco? This is hands down the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life.
Good-bye.
Oi.
Where do you think you're going? I thought we were going for the whole festival experience.
- Really? - Yes.
What, can't take the pace? - Is that a challenge? - You started it.
Wait, wait.
What? What? Whoa.
Uh-huh, make me tonight If you liked it Then you should've put a ring On it Tonight Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, your hair is beautiful Oh, oh, oh, tonight Atomic Jenny? You OK? Yes, I'm good.
I am really good.
But we've been here way too long.
I say we head to the main stage, get our dance on.
Yes! Mmm.
- OK.
Come on.
- Whoo! Whoo! Absolutely perfect.
Nailed it! Right, let's try another one.
- Dad, I think we're good.
- Good? Hah.
You're off the Richter scale.
People won't know what's hit 'em.
No, I mean, I think we can manage on our own.
- OK.
- Erm, Adam's dad? - Hmm.
- Is your mate OK? David? - David? - Bloody hell.
David? Mate.
- What's wrong with him? - I have no idea.
- Heatstroke? - I'm having a stroke? - You're having a stroke? - I'm having a what? That was bloody great.
You know, it's good to unwind for once.
Oh, please.
Since when do you need to unwind? Half your life's been one long festival and you know it.
- Karen, that is - .
.
true.
I know.
I was talking about you.
I mean, you know, you work, you sleep, you work, you sleep and somewhere in between all that, you find time to worry about your kids, worry about your friends, worry about me.
Yeah, well, someone has to, don't they? Well, I'm glad you did.
I needed that kick up the arse you gave me, Karen.
I needed those therapy sessions.
Do you know the one thing I've learnt from - Oh, here we go.
Four sessions and he's bloody Sigmund Freud.
The one thing I have learnt is that I spend most of my time thinking about myself.
You spend most of yours thinking about everybody but.
I do think about myself, believe me.
About whether I work too much, worry about the children too much.
The fact that I'm 50, divorced, single.
For all I know, this is as good as it's gonna get.
I think about all of those things.
And? And well, I ask myself, "Are you happy?" To my amazement, I find myself saying, "Yeah.
Yeah.
I am.
" Jesus.
50 quid a pop, those sessions are costing me and I'm nowhere near that level.
Well, it's kind of more of a week eight thing.
- You'll get there.
- Oh, week eight, OK.
- Hmm.
- Thanks, though.
For asking.
Thanks.
- David? - Can you hear me? Oh, my God.
David? What's happened? I don't know.
He was fine and then he just I think it's low blood sugar.
I've got medical training.
He said he skipped breakfast.
David, have you eaten anything? Biscuits.
Hello? What sort of biscuits? You didn't buy them here, did you? - Hello.
- Ah-hah.
I'm not medically trained like you but my professional opinion he's tripping balls.
Balls.
Yeah.
We'll handle it from here.
Thanks very much.
A wee lie-down, that's what you need, sonny.
Come on.
Up you pop.
That's it.
We'll get you back, that's it.
Pete, Pete, aren't you supposed to be somewhere? - Oh, yeah.
- Go on.
We'll get him back to the yurt.
Oh, thanks, guys.
See you there.
Who'd've thought it, eh? David Marsden at a festival off his tits.
Yeah, well, it's always the quiet ones.
Tits.
Oh, hi! Ian! Yay, you made it.
Oh, hey.
Course I did.
I told you I would.
This is the best time ever.
- Love you.
- Oh.
Uh.
OK.
- Oh! I love you! - OK.
- Dad.
Dad.
- What? - Is he OK? - Oh, David.
Yeah, yeah, he's fine.
It was just something he ate.
- I've not missed it, have I? - No, no.
- We're supposed to be on next but - - Supposed to be? Come on.
Come on! Come on! One minute it's working, the next - dead.
Without it we may as well just be Mumford And Sons.
The fuse has blown, that's all.
Don't any of you lot know how to change a plug? - No.
- Wait here.
Have we missed it? No, no, they're on next.
Oh, great.
Karen and Ad.
Aw.
What have you done to her? What have I done to HER? She's unstoppable.
Boom, shake-shake-shake the room Boom, shake-shake-shake the room It's not my fault she's cooler than you.
This is better than revising, isn't it? I can't believe you two heckled that poet.
Oh, come on, he was a little bit shit.
He was very disappointing.
I'm just gonna go speak to my dad, all right? - Hey! - Hey, all right, son.
How are ya? Good.
Yeah.
Great.
Can I give you a little fatherly advice? I don't know.
Can you? Next time you hook up with a girl at a gig, maybe don't leave her standing on her own.
She's fine.
She's with her mates.
- And we're "hooking up" again after.
- Nice.
I kind of think we should all be together for this one.
Don't you? Yes, I do.
'The next band are really going places.
'Will you welcome them to the stage?' Ahhhh! Let's have a party Tell everybody Have a party - Oh, hey, Jenny! He's something else! - I know.
I know! Three years' time, we'll be backstage at Wembley.
Yes! Mate, this is just the start of the journey.
Yeah! She's overdone it.
I'll tell you something that's changed since my glory days.
What's that? Walking back to the tent with a clear head.
- Where did you get that? - I found it.
You're not gonna smoke it, are you? Not after what happened to David.
Oh, he was happy.
He called me his sexy space octopus when we were talking.
- Did he? - Besides, it's only a wee thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Suppose it is.
So, what do you say? One last shout-out to the ghosts of festivals past? Ba, day, ba, wadla-die, day Oh, my God.
Is it just me or is that stuff much stronger than it used to be? It's just you.
- Do you know what we should do? - What? - We should do this every 20 years.
- Yeah.
Go to a festival, have a dance, get stoned.
- Yeah.
- When we're 70.
When we're 90.
When we're 110.
Whoa.
You really think that when we're 110, we'll - Still be alive? Oh, yeah, of course.
They'll have robotic hearts and stuff - No, no, no, I was gonna say friends.
Will we still be friends? Ohhhh.
I don't know.
Probably.
- Yeah.
- So that's our new tradition, then.
Every 20 years, in sickness and in health, me and you at a festival, acting like a couple of idiots.
- Yeah.
- Deal.
What are we supposed to do with that? You're supposed to link it.
It's a pinkie promise.
Pinkie what? - It's a pinkie - Pinkie what? Don't leave me hanging.
OK.
Pinkie promise.
Sorry.
Jen? Jen, what? I can't hear you.
What's wrong? OK, listen.
Stay where you are, OK? I'll come and find you.
It's Jen.
She's drunk.
- Oh.
- I think she's lost.
I better Yes, yes.
Can't explain all the feelings That you're making me feel My heart's in overdrive And you're behind the steering wheel Touching you Touching me Touching you Oh, you're touching me Jen? Jenny? What happened? What's wrong? I've got cancer.
What? Jesus, Jenny, I'm so sorry.
What kind? I mean Breast.
I've got breast cancer.
OK.
Does Pete know? Nobody knows.
- Jesus, Jen, why didn't you tell us? - I'm telling you now, aren't I? Yeah.
Yeah, you are.
Jenny, I'm gonna be there for you, OK? - Every step of the way.
- Of course.
You're gonna be there for me.
Everybody's gonna be there for me.
But that doesn't change anything, does it? Doesn't change the fact that my son, my baby, OK? He was having the greatest moment of his life back there and all I could think about was the fact that I might never get to meet the person he's about to become.
- Jen.
- Don't tell me that it's going to be all right.
You're all gonna tell me that everything's gonna be all right.
Jenny, I don't know what to say.
Just say that Say that it's not gonna be all right.
Tell me the truth, Karen.
Just say that it's shit.
Come here.
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
Thought you'd be out celebrating with the band.
Well, I was but I did a sly bunk.
Felt like it should be their night, you know? What about you? I was heading back to my tent but erm .
.
it's engaged.
- How's Sergeant Pepper? - Oh, the Maharishi? He's all right.
Pete.
Jen's crashed out in my tent.
- Oh, God.
- No, no, it's fine.
Honestly, I don't mind.
I think it's best just to let her sleep it off, OK? - Are you sure? - Yeah.
Yeah.
I was gonna turn in anyway, I just wanted you to know where she was.
- Thanks.
- See you in the morning.
Erm, Karen, I've I have your hat.
- Night-night.
- Night.
Thanks.
Ta.
Look, you're probably gonna say I'm worrying over nothing again.
Maybe I am.
But there's this guy from Jen's course - You're worrying over nothing again, Pete.
You've got the perfect wife, the perfect family, perfect home, perfect life.
Most people would be lucky to have just one of those things.
Stop being such a twit.
I probably wouldn't have used the word twit but erm, basically, what he said.
'Just look at that fixed stare.
' Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here You went for it last night.
Bad head? Not surprised.
Thanks.
So, that's us away, David.
Here! Hope everything works out with Nikki's sister.
- Sorry? Oh, yes, yeah.
I'm sure she'll be fine.
- Yeah.
Fun times, eh? See you, Dad.
'Please enter your destination.
' Oh.
Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? How do we fly with no wings? How do you breathe without dreams? Where do we go from here? From here From here From here From here
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