Cold Feet (1997) s08e04 Episode Script

Series 8, Episode 4

1 I got guns in my head And they won't go Spirits in my head And they won't go I got guns in my head And they won't go Spirits in my head And they won't Peppers, chicken pieces.
- Breast or thigh? - Breast.
- Breast.
- One lump or two? Take a leap of faith.
Faith.
Faith.
Oh, hold on, that's Gemini.
You're Cancer.
Cancer.
Cancer.
Cancer.
I'm off.
Hang on.
I'll give you a lift.
I'm dropping Adam and the amps.
Adam And The Amps! I'll get the bus.
I got guns in my head And they won't go Spirits in my head And they won't go I'm just waiting For my day to come And I think Oh, I don't wanna let you down Cos something inside Has changed Shouldn't you be getting ready? Erm, no, I'm working from home today.
- Nice work if you can get it.
- Yeah.
- See ya.
- See ya, son.
Sprits in my head And they won't go - 'Hello?' - Hello, gorgeous.
It's your pinkie pal here.
The one you get up to mischief with.
Er, Adam, it's Liv.
'Hang on.
She's right here.
' It It's Adam.
Er, she's in a bit of a rush at the minute.
- 'Can she call you back?' - Sure, no problem.
OK, bye.
Guns in my head And they won't go Bye.
Spirits in my head And they won't go But the gun still rattles The gun still rattles Oh I got guns in my head And they won't go Spirits in my head And they won't go.
Are you working from home? I'm supposed to be.
Here, are these yours? Oh, yeah, thanks.
Are you having sleepovers and not inviting me? - I've only just arrived.
- Yeah, the old boiler's gone kaput on him.
Don't talk about Nikki like that.
- Hello, Adam.
- Hello.
- There you go.
- Bless you, Barbara.
- He's got a big interview.
- Oooh.
Now, who put this? - This is Jenny's college bag.
- She's going to need that.
She'd forget her head at the moment, she would.
I'll drop it off.
I'm not due in first thing.
Oh, I'll come with.
David? Oh, no, you've got your big interview.
Barbara's offered to make me some toast.
Oh, nice.
Come on then, Tonto.
I'll ride shotgun.
Hang on Doesn't that make you Tonto? You'd have thought so.
Oi! - Adam! - What? - No, him.
- Ah! Gets me every time.
- Is that where that Ian Deacon's class is? - Er, it should be.
- He's off guest lecturing somewhere.
- The fees that we pay - Well, your mum's left this.
- She's not here.
- Well, she should be.
Are you sure? - Yeah, she tends to stick out.
- Like a sore thumb.
- Like a very old thumb.
- Where is she, then? - I don't know.
Look, are we done here? Cos I've, like, got a life.
Cheeky.
You should've seen her this morning.
Lippy on, all dolled up.
Oh, well, she's skiving, like me.
Hm Guest lecturing.
More like leching.
I bet she's with him.
- Professor Deacon.
"Ian"! - Oh, don't be ridiculous.
She never shuts up about him.
Ian this, Ian that.
She spent more time with him than me at the festival.
I mean, why was he even there? I thought she said that loads of her uni friends were there.
So she says.
'Hi, this is Jenny.
Leave me a message.
' Why is her phone switched off? Well .
.
she's having sex with her tutor.
Ha, irony! Irony! Irony! Oh She's been very distracted lately.
Like her mind's on something else.
Or someone else.
Now where are we going? To find her.
Sake! What's this? Finding My Family.
- It's basically a stalking app.
- Yeah.
We use it to keep tabs on Chloe.
- Which way? - Oh I don't know about this.
I don't feel comfortable.
Then adjust your seat! Now, which way? Left.
- I said, left.
- All right! It all went in one ear and out the other last time.
Actually, I'm not sure it even went in.
It's a lot to get your head around.
You have a two-centimetre grade-two ductal cancer.
And we know there's some spread to the lymph nodes.
The good news is it's treatable.
And you're young.
Oh, am I? That's good.
Long time since I've been called that.
You don't have to put that down.
I was writing the other bit.
You are going to need surgery.
As the doctor explained, you've got two options.
One is a mastectomy, the removal of the whole breast.
A lumpectomy is an option for you, too.
It's less invasive, but you will require radiotherapy after your chemo.
- Would she lose her hair? - Would I lose my hair? If you use a cold cap, you might not.
But there are no guarantees.
- This can't be right.
- Well, it says she's here.
Let's have a look.
Oh, there she is.
And Karen.
Why's Karen at the hospital? Why's Jen with her? Hey! - Are you all right? - I am, yeah.
What? - What's going on? - Come with me.
Just give them a moment.
What's happening? What's she saying to him? She's telling him she has breast cancer.
- Oh, my God - Yeah.
How bad is it? She has a small tumour on her right breast.
They're going to operate.
- Fucking hell - I know, I know.
She's going to be fine.
She's going to get through this.
Well, it is what it is.
Yep.
I suppose beggars can't be choosers.
Beggars can't be tenants.
Now, I'll need a month's rent up front and another for the deposit.
- That's not a problem? - No, no.
I've got a new job lined up.
I'll have the cash by the end of the week.
Bank transfer will do.
At the end of the week.
- When does this job start? - The interview's today.
It's in the bag.
No worries.
Why didn't you tell me? I wanted to.
I just didn't want to spoil the festival.
I mean, it was our boy's big moment, wasn't it? You told Karen.
It's bad enough I've got cancer.
I didn't want to give it to you an' all.
Not till I was sure exactly what we were up against.
Was it Adam, how you found out? - Karen told him, then he told you.
- Karen never breathed a word.
You'd left your bag, you weren't at uni and nor was Ian.
Ian? What, tutor Ian? What's he got to do with it? - Oh, it sounds terrible now.
- Oh, hang on - You didn't think me and him were at it? - Well, no, not at it.
No, er Well, yeah.
For want of a better phrase.
You were all over him at that festival.
I was pissed.
He was holding me up.
I love you, Jenny Gifford.
I know you do.
I can't believe it.
I know.
Well, it's all too common, I'm afraid, Adam.
Yeah, but Jenny.
- Did she know at the festival? - Mm.
So, we weren't the only ones keeping secrets.
I keep thinking about our kiss, you know? - I haven't given it a second thought.
- Really? Well, it feels so unreal.
It's like it didn't even happen.
It happened.
Yeah, we were stoned.
It didn't mean anything.
Didn't it? Did it for you? Well No.
No, it was just festival sex.
- Not even that.
- A festival kiss while stoned.
Meaningless.
It makes you wonder, though, eh? Hey? Shit! That's my illustrator.
I forgot.
- Oh, I'll go.
- No, no, no, no.
I want you to stay.
I'll make us lunch.
- Caitlin.
- Hello, babes.
I'm bloody starving! I keep thinking .
.
why these? They're my best bit.
You have lovely eyes.
Ha! Oh, come on.
You love them, too.
Always have.
The first month we were together, all I saw of you was the top of your head.
Well, yeah, I was like a kid in a sweet shop.
Yeah.
Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a mastectomy? You know, play it safe.
Well, they've said there's the same chance of making a full recovery either way, so Yeah, that's what they say, but Oh, I'm not so sure.
It's OK.
They've got medical degrees, Pete.
You haven't even googled it.
And don't, by the way.
All right? You're not allowed.
Within the first minute, I knew it was a complete waste of time.
I mean, you do, don't you? As soon as you realise they don't look like their photo.
- Did you leg it, then? - No, I'd ordered a drink.
By the time I'd finished it, he didn't look too bad.
Ha! Then we stayed for three.
- Shags? - Vodkas.
- What is she like? - Oh, she's wicked.
Trust me.
- I like that one.
- Yeah? That's my favourite, too, actually.
- And how was the festival? - It was interesting.
- Mm.
- Full of surprises.
Yep, silent disco.
Blew his mind.
- I hope you misbehaved.
- Oh, she did.
I did not.
A bit of weed.
Barely inhaled.
Oh, do you know what? - What? - I've got those theatre tickets.
Orla McLaughlin's new play? Oh, wow! I thought this was all sold out.
Yeah, well, I know people that know the right people.
The thing is I can't go cos I said I'd help Livvy revise that night.
- Oh, really? - Yeah, but Adam's free.
- What? - Thursday night.
Are you busy? No.
Well, you are now.
What are we doing? You're taking me to the theatre, apparently.
Sure.
Hm.
- Clearly, you could do this job in your sleep.
- Oh David's being discreet.
We have history.
Zack Aspin.
I interned for you a couple of years ago.
Of course! Yes, Zack.
Yes Yes, I moulded a lot of careers.
Which brings me to my next question.
The financial sector has taken huge strides towards inclusivity.
What about you? Are your interpersonal skills as honed as your regulatory ones? Mm.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Any LGBTQ awareness training? - Hm? - Anything in the wake of Me Too? Ah, yes.
Erm Well, you see, I have teenage daughters and they keep me up to speed with all these trends.
Trends? And I welcome them.
I welcome all progress.
It's called a node positive ductal carcinoma.
You googled it.
It sounds scarier than it is.
Is it serious? Adam, it's breast cancer! I feel fine.
And once I've had the treatment, I'll be right as rain.
Of course you will.
- So, your mum's decided - Well, we've decided.
- We've decided - Yeah.
.
.
that she's going to have a lumpectomy.
And what does that mean? Well, they make an incision in the breast.
I'm sorry, will? Can you explain this.
OK, look, erm Say the yolk is the tumour.
I mean, it's not that big.
But they cut the tumour out and a bit round it.
There you go.
Then they stitch me up .
.
and bingo! Good as new.
Well, sort of.
- Well, that's put me off my tea.
- Look, it's one night in hospital.
Tops.
The recovery will be tough.
- But you're fine, yeah? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's nothing to worry about.
OK, who wants bread? Oh, I've got this.
You take a load off.
There you go.
Many friends have said goodbye I say they all Just lost their minds Oh, lights.
Thank you.
- 'Hi.
' - Nicholas, it's big brother.
- 'We're not in right now.
' - Hey - Oh.
' - Please leave a message after the beep.
' Nick, it's David.
Hello.
We haven't spoken for a while.
Erm I find I'm in a little financial embarrassment.
- 'What do you want, David?' - Oh, you're there.
- Hi! I was just saying - 'Yes, I did hear you, David.
' Ah.
'Have you forgotten the time I came to you for money?' Oh, God Well, that was about 20 years ago.
- 'Fuck you, David.
' - Nick? Nick? Ungrateful little shit! I've already thanked you.
- What? - David.
Zack Aspin.
' Zack! Hello, hi! Great to hear from you.
Yeah.
'nd it's just come to me that, er, when you were an intern' .
.
you used to wear rather natty little bow ties.
' - 'Ha! Right.
' - Yeah.
- Yeah, good days.
- 'Were they?' As I recall, you only said two words to me.
I remember what they were.
"One sugar.
" Do you still treat interns like your personal barista? No, I I'm much more collegiate.
And I'll happily muck in with my team.
'Well, not here, you won't.
Revenge is a cup of coffee' .
.
best served cold.
- 'Goodbye, David.
' No, no, wait.
- Zack Fuck! Oh, just piss off! Danger, danger Are you going to join in or what? High voltage When we touch And when we kiss Danger, danger What! High voltage When we touch, when we kiss When we touch - It's nothing.
- Are you sure? It's like having a tooth out.
Men make more fuss over catching a cold.
- Really? - Don't worry yourself.
Chloe, love, will you dig out that spare charger for me? Oh Go on.
Why are you feeding her nonsense? Men do overreact to colds.
- You do.
- No! Playing down Jenny's cancer.
Pretending it's no worse than an ingrowing toenail.
I had one of those once.
It was bloody painful.
- She's worried, poor mite.
- I know she is! And I will reassure her.
But not by making stuff up.
I'm only trying to help.
Leave the parenting to me.
- I am her dad.
- And I'm her grandma! And if I can put a smile back on her face, then that's what I'm going to do.
All right, love? Here you go.
Thanks.
Ellie! When are you going to start looking after your things! You're actually talking to yourself.
Yeah, even when you're in the room! Look at the state of this place.
Mum, I know you're upset about Jenny.
- Is that what this is about? - No! It's about the fact that your room's a bloody mess! All you can do is be there for her.
Like me and Liv are here for you.
Prove it, then.
Tidy your room or the floordrobe gets it! I was going to get you flowers but then I thought, "Wise up, it's Jen.
" Oh! Thanks.
You know me so well.
Yes, I do.
So, I've been, er, working on my "concerned" face.
Oh, yeah? - How are you, Jen? - I have had .
.
so much of that.
Who knew there were so many sympathetic people in the world? And they've all been in touch.
- Except David.
- Oh, that'll be his way of dealing with it.
- Denial.
- Mm.
Literally, everybody's got an uplifting story about a friend who's survived cancer.
How's Pete coping? By competing with my mum to see who can be the most caring.
It's partly why I didn't want them to know.
Can we please talk about something else? - Please - Yeah.
- Oh, I've got a date tomorrow night.
- Oh, Tinder? No, no, a friend of Karen's.
She set us up.
- Does she not like this woman? - Yeah, well, you have to wonder.
She's never pushed me towards her pals before.
Oi, oi.
I hope you're not tiring her out.
Oh, no, he's cheering me up.
- Look, he brought me this.
- Oooh, nice.
Well, you can have that when you're better.
Oh, sod that.
Let's have it now.
Oh, have you fixed this? And there was me slagging you off.
Aw! Oh, thanks.
Oh, hi.
Hello again.
I still want the bedsit, but there's a slight hitch.
Have you brought the deposit? I didn't get the job.
But there's another interview tomorrow.
- So, if you can give me - Have you got the money, yes or no? .
.
perhaps just another 24 hours? I'm sorry, but, erm would you consider taking this as collateral? Er, it was given to me by my father.
Did he used to holiday in Bangkok? - Hm? - It looks like a fake to me.
I was just on the phone to your sister.
I gave her your news.
It's two degrees in Winnipeg.
- She was a bit upset.
- About the weather? Or has her Mountie boyfriend dumped her? He's offered to pay for her to fly home.
Really? - I was joking.
- To help you convalesce.
Oh, my God! Breast cancer, I can cope with.
But our Sheila I told her we could manage.
She said she'd pray instead.
Brilliant.
I remember buying you your first bra.
You were ten.
- We went to British Home Stores.
- Hm.
We had sausage and chips in that horrible cafe.
Are you worried about tomorrow? Yeah.
I am a bit.
Me, too.
Oh, I wish I could swap places with you.
Mum I'm sorry I'm putting you through all this.
Oh, it's not your fault, love.
It's not great, though.
At your age, I should be looking after you.
Don't worry, love.
Your turn will come.
That's me.
Thank you very much.
Excusez-moi.
Sorry.
It's a clarion call.
The voice of a generation.
Oh, forget Delaney.
This should be on the national curriculum.
- Hey.
- Oh, thank you very much.
What do you think? Well, they could do with some more staff behind the bar.
- The play.
- Oh It's a clarion call.
The voice of a generation.
- Oh, you think? - Oh, yeah.
Oh.
I mean, forget .
.
someone This should be on the national curriculum.
Oooh - I think it's a load of old shit.
- Really? Mm.
Worse, it's poverty porn.
No.
And there's still another hour to go.
Yes.
- Pub? - Mm! Pub.
So - Here we are.
- Oh, thank you.
So, Karen's told me all about you.
- Really? - Uh-uh.
Relax.
She gave you a clean bill of health.
Oh, yeah, I've got all my medical certificates - .
.
if you want to see them.
- Upstairs, framed? In a bygone age, it'd be, eretchings.
So - I'm, er, just - You're going to the toilet? - Yeah.
- Yes.
Of course you are.
You're asking my advice about women? Well, unless Jen's there.
How are you? Go ahead, caller.
I was just wondering whether he's a little shy? Adam? Believe me, I have heard many words to describe him, but shy is not one of them.
- Maybe he just doesn't fancy me, then.
- 'No, no, no, no.
- 'That doesn't sound like him either.
' - Hm.
It's just moving so fast, you know? Shite play, pub '.
.
back to mine.
' Well, we're still waiting for an actual problem.
- I'm not sure if I want to sleep with her.
- Do you not fancy her? 'Have you met me? Of course I fancy her!' I mean, she's gorgeous, but .
.
you know, I don't want to be that bloke any more, into conquests.
So, don't.
'But she's come back.
' She might be expecting I was up for this in the pub.
I'm not sure about this now.
Well, don't sleep with him.
I'm sure he won't mind.
I'm sorry about that.
Hello? I took a little longer than I intended.
- Number two? - What? No, just, it was, erm No, it was just a really long, erwee.
- Who's that? - Your son? He's at a friend's tonight.
Number fucking two! David! Yes.
Come in.
Thanks.
I was driving past, saw the lights were on.
No need to explain.
- Erm Come in, come in.
- Oh, thanks.
Caitlin, this is David, a friend of mine.
- Oh.
Hi.
- I'm sorry.
- I didn't know you had company.
I'll be going.
- No, no.
Not on my account.
No, stay and have a drink! - You don't mind, do you? - No, I'm I'm just going to finish that and I'll be on my way.
Oh, well, don't mind if I do.
Ah You haven't got any whisky, have you? Pete? Pete I don't want to turn the light off.
It's the last time I'm going to go to sleep with a matching pair.
Oh Oh, you'll still be you, love.
Would you mind giving me a hug, please? Of course.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- We tied one on last night, eh? - Oh, yeah, couldn't have driven home.
But, yeah, since Nikki's away, I hope I didn't cramp your style.
No, no, that's fine.
Oh, here, am I going to see you later? Oh, well, erm Nikki's not back till tomorrow, so - No, no.
I mean, at the hospital.
- Hm? - Haven't you spoken to Pete? - Well, I saw I've got a message from him.
- I haven't listened to him yet.
- Jenny's having her operation today.
Jenny? What's wrong with her? Well, they don't give you much room, do they? - It's only one night.
- Excuse me.
Is there somewhere my wife can hang her clothes up? Sorry, mate, that's it.
- Really? - He's just trying to be useful.
Well, OK.
Thanks anyway.
Pete, I'm going to need chocolate.
- Nil by mouth.
- For when I come round.
Do you know what, I saw a vending machine in the corridor.
Yeah.
I mean, I'd go myself but Great.
Hi.
Jennifer? Hello.
I'm Dan.
I'm the hospital chaplain.
Christ, you haven't come to read my last rights, have ya? No, no.
I'm, er, I'm doing my rounds.
I'm a listening ear, if you ever need me.
I don't.
I've got family and friends for that, ta.
- Well, you're one of the lucky ones.
- Lucky? I'm not in for my bunions, you know? I'm so sorry.
- That was clumsy of me.
- Yeah.
Yeah, you might want to work on that with your next customer.
I hope everything goes well.
That was a bit harsh, Jen.
- He was just trying to be helpful.
- Hm.
Everyone is.
Did you get any? The machine ate my money.
I don't get any benefits for 13 weeks?! - You did walk out of your last job, Mr Marsden.
- On principle.
Look, I go for interviews, I'm too experienced, too expensive, too old.
Maybe I piss people off.
Look, I've been sleeping in my car, for God's sake! - Any friends or family you can turn to? - I shouldn't have to! The amount of tax I've paid over the years Maybe someone who could offer you a bed at least.
Ah, David.
What brings you here with a suitcase? This is so good of you, Adam.
When you see me dressed like this, what do you think? How long's he going to stay this time? I can't ask them again.
I'm sorry.
Housing can tell you where to find the nearest hostels.
No No, that's my car! Excuse me! My Oh, crap! No.
No Bye.
- I'll be waiting by your bed.
- No, you won't.
- Adam's going to pick you up.
- Adam? Why? Cos you need a break, love.
Seriously, go and have some fun.
- Good luck.
- See you later.
And get me chocolate! Love ya! Shit! Shit! - Everything all right? - Oh Erm, a temporary crisis of faith.
Oh, cos the vending machine won't give you chocolate? Er, well, it was coffee.
I think I pressed the wrong button.
Well, I'm on my way to the canteen.
Can I buy you one? Thank you.
That's very kind of you.
- Ta.
- Pleasure.
So So, after your friend sent me packing - Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
- Oh, that's OK.
No, I was with a mum and dad as their eight-month-old was taken off his ventilator.
And we'd made handprints and taken photos with the family.
And we did everything we could to try and ease his passing, but sometimes the sheer weight of it just And thenthe vending machine.
God How do you keep the faith? By having faith to begin with.
- You must be concerned about your friend.
- Yeah, I am.
But the stats are on her side.
That's what I put my faith in.
Sorry, I don't mean to belittle your belief.
- It's just not something I share.
- Your stats suggest you wouldn't.
Yeah.
What is it you do? Publishing.
Nothing useful.
I used to try and make a difference, but now I just take old clothes to charity shops.
And I haven't done that for a while, to be fair.
Well, at the Mission, we're always grateful for donations.
You'd be welcome any time.
Oh! I hate golf.
Why would I want to practise it? Well .
.
so you can get better.
Anyway, the point was to take your mind off Jen.
It'll be two hours now.
It'll be almost finished.
Come on.
Have another go.
Come on.
So, I want you to clear your mind of all thoughts.
Focus solely on your swing.
Oh Were you listening to me? Yes, I was.
I'm just crap, that's all! You know I'm hating this.
You said.
No, Jen's cancer.
Oh, yeah, wellit can't be easy for you.
I feel like a spare part.
Come on, have another go.
The doctors talk to Jenny in jargon that I don't understand.
Come on.
Hips! I just wish there was something I could do! Well, I'm sure your support is really important.
Just not too much, mind, hey? You need to, erm You need to give her some space.
I've nothing more to offer! Nothing! I just feel so .
.
impotent! Jesus! That's further than I hit it.
- Have you got enough pillows? - No.
It's not the pillow.
It's the bed.
Has the anaesthetic warn off, Jen? Maybe not.
Jenny! I'm so sorry I'm late - Oh! - .
.
and haven't been in touch.
It's just unforgivable.
You're forgiven, Doctor.
Do you want a choccy? How are you, Jen? It's the anaesthetic.
Hello.
- I was just thinking about you.
- Oh, yeah? What was I wearing? That expression.
Adam .
.
can we just go back to how we were before? Just, er, pretend what happened didn't happen.
- Sure.
- Great.
I hear you're going out with Caitlin again tonight.
- Yeah.
- I'm pleased.
Ah, there she is.
Tell her.
Mum read that manuscript you gave me.
- Love Comes Slowly.
- I hope that's all right.
Yeah.
What did you think? Well, that chapter with the threesome.
It's always bothered me, the mechanics.
You'd think there must be one left holding the crisps.
But Nina made it seem so real.
- Oh, good.
- Are you all right, David? You know, mustn't grumble.
There's always someone worse off than yourself.
Are you all right? Yeah.
She seems OK, yeah.
- It's a relief.
- I'm just going to nip into the loo.
- So, you go ahead without me.
- Bye.
- See you, David.
- Cheers, bye.
I don't care about that past Thank you.
None of it was made to last It's not who you've known But who you're knowing I like the way this is going I like the way this is going.
What's the catch? What? What's the catch? I mean Great cook.
Nice house.
- OK sense of humour.
- Uh! Um! Oh, and not forgetting, erm .
.
this.
- Humility? - Very much so.
Have you got a basement? There must be a mother in a rocking chair.
Hm - Oh, look, I - You're not going to phone a friend again.
- No, no, I, er - No.
I really have to have a pee.
Sorry.
I'm sorry! OK I'm bringing sexy back Yeah Them other boys Don't know how to act Yeah I think it's special What's behind your back? Yeah So turn around And I'll pick up the slack Yeah Get your sexy on Sexy back Yeah Come on, get your sexy back.
- Urgh - So, I've met Matt.
Oh, my God, look at the state of ya! She She seems nice.
She is.
She's also going home.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm going to kill him.
You've got your hands full, so Hm.
Urgh Next time.
Yes.
Hm.
Pace, man For you hold my horses patient Hey, man Tricks can't wait To hear my emotions Every time the sun comes up I'm in trouble Take that! Go on.
Getting hammered mid-week? You've butchered thousands of brain cells.
Why? - Cos I can.
- No, you can't.
You're 17.
- Jesus, Matt.
- Right, sorry.
It won't happen again.
Right, good.
Not mid-week anyway.
Watch it.
I should get going.
Urgh Hey, son, did you, er, lift 20 quid I left for the cleaner? - No.
- Sure? Honestly, I didn't.
Well, maybe I just thought I left it there.
That is weird.
Hang on to those brain cells.
- Hi.
- Hello.
My conscience got the better of me.
- Or maybe you did.
- Thank you.
I thought the church was struggling for numbers.
Ah, well, they can largely be divided into two camps.
The older ones, who are sort of hedging their bets.
And the younger ones? Hoping to get their kids a school place.
Does that offend you? In my job, one can't afford to take offence.
- How's your friend, by the way? - Oh, she comes home today.
- Great.
Please send her my best.
- Thanks.
- Well, I'm heading off.
- Publishing.
That's all I know.
We didn't really talk about you.
Oh, well, you vicars .
.
it's all me, me, me, isn't it? Well, I do owe you a coffee, so .
.
perhaps I could buy you one sometime.
Yeah, I'd like that.
- Great.
- Bye.
- See you.
Bye.
- Hey! - You're home! Oh Oh, just so you know Ow! - A chippy tea to celebrate! - Oh, let me take this.
No, I've got this.
- Wait, stop.
- I can do it.
- Are you all right? - I will be.
Back where you belong, in the bosom of your family.
Can we have one meal without the talk of boobs, please? - Do you want a brew? - Yeah.
Oh Hm.
My stripy jumper! That was my favourite! I did warn you not to leave it on the floor.
That's how I know where it is! You're unbelievable! You knew it was her favourite.
No, I couldn't give it away.
It wasn't washed.
Let her stew a bit.
Oh, spot on.
It could've been made for you.
Oh, crumbs Are you sorted for a bed tonight? Oh, I've picked up a leaflet about the hostels.
Well, if you don't have a place yet, you won't get one.
- You need to get your name down early.
- Oh, right.
I'll be fine for now, thank you.
OK.
I don't get it.
What's so scary about a cucumber? The cats think they're snakes.
Look Chloe? What have I told you? Your mum's meant to be resting.
You've got homework to do.
- What's with all this noise? Have you woken her up? - No.
I can't sleep any more, anyway.
Well, you're too hot, probably.
- I told you this throw was a bad idea.
- No, she likes it.
- Wait, enough! - Give it here.
- Stop! - Oh, what are you doing? - Pete, stop her.
- Jenny, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Listen I know you mean well, but back off, the pair of ya.
- But we care about you.
- We're just trying to help.
I don't want you to wrap me in cotton wool.
If I fall, fine.
Let me.
Justbe there to help me up.
OK? Now, go and put the washing on or something.
I'll go and do it now.
And I'll help separate the colours.
I'll put the powder in the loader.
Shall I do fabric conditioner? Oh, God help me You've a admirer.
I don't know about that.
He's invited me for coffee.
You have an admirer.
He's a vicar.
- Seriously? - 'I know.
'Like, how's that going to work?' So, you like him? 'Yeah, I do.
He's interesting.
' - He's quite attractive.
- And a vicar.
Something to tick off the bucket list.
- Oh, God - Don't you just wish you could skip the dating and fast-forward to the part where you're curled up on the sofa watching boxsets together? I quite like the dating, the courting.
The thrill of the chase.
'Yeah, of course you do.
'How are things going with Caitlin?' Mm, good.
Say, hi.
She says, hi.
'All right, then, I'll let you get back to it.
' How did you guess? Cos it's you.
- 'Night.
' - Goodnight.
What if this is all The love you ever get? Whoa, whoa You'd not worry so much About counting your regrets So you've fallen apart What if it hurts like hell? Then it'll hurt like hell Come on over Come on over here I'm in the ruins, too I know the wreckage so well Come on over Come on over here What if this is all The love you ever get? What if this is all The love you ever get? What if this is all The love you ever get? What if this is all The love you ever get?