Comedy Class by Eric and Ramzy (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

Auditions continue in Marseille and Bruxelles

Make some noise for Yassir!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
AGE 30
It's easy.
You got up there, you have a flow,
a funny voice
You play on your appearance
That all works, it's solid.
You walk around, you dance.
But I just didn't laugh.
There was no issue with it.
At least, I had no issue with it.
But I just didn't laugh.
I though you were a delight though.
-I'm sad that I didn't laugh.
-I laughed a lot.
-You like him.
-I do like him.
This wasn't the right material for me,
but you must have more.
-I'm sure you're very funny.
-We can't leave him behind.
-You have to come.
Thank you.
You have the power.
-Thank you!
If he doesn't make me laugh next time
It's the most important criteria.
It's called Comedy Class for a reason.
We have a funny-looking one up next.
It's Nadim!
Nadim has a great face!
Make some noise!
AGE 40
Hi, everyone!
I think there's a high expectation
for my jokes. I do have jokes.
I have a lot of jokes.
I have so many jokes, it's crazy.
I love what I do.
It's pretty cool.
It's lucky that I love it.
I like what I do.
It's time for my first joke. Here we go.
When I make pasta
You haven't heard it yet.
You'll see, it's awesome.
When I make pasta, it swells up,
so I make too much.
There's too much pasta.
There's just too much.
I have another one.
Trust me.
My set is coming to a crescendo.
Everyone imagine we're on a plane.
Here we go, we're off, we're
-Taking off.
-No, let's start over.
-Here we go, we're
-Taking off!
Love it.
I did the pasta joke. It went well.
I'll do the next bit now.
It's a joke about rice.
It's a little surprising.
I'll do it, then you'll see.
When I make rice, it swells up, too.
So I make too much.
I don't use much at lunch,
that way, I get rice for the week.
I'm gonna skip the semolina joke.
Some of you might be wondering
why I'm so good at stand-up.
I can feel it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm almost done.
I am done, but I want to do
one last thing.
I didn't plan this, but now I want to.
Because, to be honest, I don't care.
Hey, kids, how are you? It's Daddy.
I hope you're okay. I just performed
in front of a lot of people.
It went really well. Everyone's happy.
Now it's out of my hands.
Love you, kids. Bye.
I think you all were a lot of fun,
and I know the feeling is mutual.
-That's it, goodbye!
-Nadim, ladies and gentlemen!
Make some noise for Nadim!
Nadim, everything about you
tells me you're lazy.
The haircut
-The stool.
-The stool.
-Everything says
-The lack of a set.
The total lack of a stand-up set.
Yet, at the same time
-Your deadbeat style
-You got everyone, including us.
You made me laugh a lot.
-It's risky.
-I loved it, Nadim.
I love your character.
I love the non-jokes.
You were hilarious
without telling any jokes.
-I love Nadim.
-We love him.
We love him.
Nadim, you're coming with us!
-Well done.
-Thanks, Éric.
The Paris show was amazing today.
-There were some amazing comics.
-We found some hidden gems
who have the potential
to be great comedians.
The next big comedian
who will make us say,
"Ramzy, we're too old for this job."
"Look at the youngsters."
"They can be funny without
doing an old-man voice."
-Here are some of today's winners.
-Make some noise!
Adel Fugazi!
Camille Lorente!
Sofiane Soch!
Tom Boudet!
Vincent Seroussi!
Goodbye, everyone. Thank you!
-Goodbye, thank you!
-Ladies and gentlemen!
Welcome to Marseille. Éric and Ramzy
Sorry. Welcome to Marseille.
We're all set for a big adventure.
Marseille has a unique sense of humor.
-It's quick.
-But still fun.
-It's got heart.
It likes to highlight
our flaws as Parisians
and point out regional differences.
That's what Marseille humor is all about.
When I think of Marseille humor,
I think of Bougheraba.
It didn't start with him. In our day
We had Smaïn. Coluche.
Eddie Murphy?
Patrick Bosso!
We want to be surprised.
We want to see Bosso 2.0.
-That's right.
-Bosso Zero.
Bosso Bosso.
Bosso Novo!
Let's go find our new
Marseille star of 2024.
Give it up for Éric and Ramzy!
Make some noise!
Let's go!
-Marseille, how are you doing?
Éric, this is what Marseille is all about!
Ladies and gentlemen, Ramzy!
What an intro!
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear
even more rapturous applause
for me again!
Okay, let's begin.
-Let's start now.
-What about me?
-Well, more rapturous applause?
One second, come on!
We're happy to be
in this legendary warehouse.
When you go
This is one of
the first delivery warehouses.
It was an Amazon warehouse.
Packages left from right here.
-Question, Ramzy.
-Yes, you.
Wait, anyone else?
No hands raised? No questions?
Go ahead.
-First question. Well, the only one.
-Of how many?
Since there are
one million comedians in France
That's an accurate count.
I know.
-One million.
-One in three people.
One French person in three is funny.
Why do we need find one more?
We want the best.
And we want to give them 50,000 euros.
50,000 euros out of Éric's pocket!
That's wonderful.
-Shall we let our comedians begin?
-Here we go.
Right now, let's go!
-All right.
-Let's go!
Come on, now let's
Look at this guy's name!
He's got the name, the good looks
Who is this guy?
My name is Ayrton Gomes,
I'm 25, I'm a stand-up comedian.
This is Marseille, my home.
Let's do it.
I live fast and never stop.
My comedy style is spicy,
a little irreverent.
People say I'm an idiot,
but I'm very endearing.
You may not like me now,
but you will.
I try to write at least three hours a day.
And I read books for inspiration.
I learn new words,
like "prithee," which is really funny.
Stand-up is my whole life.
My goal is to sell out
every venue in France,
including the Zénith.
I've got Marseille behind me
and victory ahead.
That was a good one!
Good evening, Marseille!
AGE 25
-I love you!
I'm very happy to be with you,
I like being with nice, cool people.
I'm not used to it.
I'm from the 15th in Marseille.
All my friends are thugs.
I love them, but we're not the same.
At a police station,
the cop asks why my friends are there.
And they say, "We're in the house
because we stole a car."
Then they ask me why I'm there.
"Bro, I'm in the house
to get my car back."
It makes no sense.
That was a good one.
I have fun with them though.
They've taught me a lot.
I learned you can leave Google reviews
for police detention centers.
What's next?
Rating police officers like Uber drivers?
"Jean-Marc, 3/5.
Nice guy, the handcuffs weren't too tight.
Michel, 2/5. Likes to taser.
P.S. Doesn't like Arabs very much.
Rachid, 3/5. Very understanding.
P.S. Gets tased by Michel a lot."
I love my friends.
But I feel like male friendships
drag you down.
Put 10 guys in a room for 24 hours,
they won't make a vaccine.
But they might come out saying,
"For one million,
who would put a finger up Kevin's butt?"
And they'll negotiate!
Like, "Maybe for two million!"
And Kevin, the weirdo, is like,
"One million is a lot.
Just think about it."
Someone is always worse than Kevin.
"I'm broke, I'll do it for 50 bucks!"
They're like kids. It's group psychology.
Guys play weird games.
Like "Would You Rather?" You know it?
I love it, but we play
the extreme version. Not,
"Would you rather
not know how to tie shoes
or have foggy glasses
for the rest of your life?"
We do stupid ones, like,
"Would you rather your mom dies,
suck a fat fishmonger's dick?"
"Excuse me?"
I don't play. It's disgusting.
I'm not sucking off a fishmonger.
I'll quit the game.
Then they'll say,
"Fine, here's another one.
Would you rather your uncle died,
and then, at his funeral,
you meet a hot chick,
and you spend your life with her,
you marry and have four kids,
and at the end of your life,
you find out that girl was
actually your uncle
who had a sex change
Or suck a fat fishmonger's dick?"
I'd stop. I'd quit playing.
"Stop, I'm not playing anymore."
But they just don't get it.
"He didn't get it."
Would you rather the President
fucks your mom,
passes a law that says every Thursday,
every French citizen must fuck your mom,
and another law that says that
every day of the week
is a Thursday.
Wait for it, you won't see it coming."
I like this guy.
"Or your mom has cancer.
And to save her,
you have to suck a fat fishmonger's dick."
"You're an idiot!"
The last time
The last time I did that joke,
a guy outside said,
"Hey, kid, I'm a fishmonger!"
Disgusting. Thanks, guys!
That's it for me.
Thank you very much, Marseille.
You were incredible!
Thank you, Marseille. Thank you, everyone!
-Well done.
-Bravo, Ayrton.
What a nice surprise.
When you came in, with those clothes
I swear, when you came in,
I looked at Éric and said,
"There's no way."
When a comedian gets on stage
dressed really nicely,
as is your case, I feel skeptical.
-Like it's a front.
-There's nothing underneath.
-Like you spent too much time on clothes.
-But when you started speaking,
I forgot about your outfit
and just laughed.
The absurdity you brought to it
-Was good.
-Good for us.
-It reached us.
-It spoke to us.
Unfortunately, we do have
a quota of Marseillais we can keep.
-So, unfortunately
-You'll have to come with us to Paris.
-Give him the pass, Ramzy.
Thank you very much.
-Ayrton was great!
-Thank you!
Ayrton Gomes!
The boy is good.
I'm so happy!
I have to keep going. Represent!
-Did we make a mistake?
-You sure?
-Ramzy, it's our instinct.
-We discovered Bourvil.
-I don't remember.
And Chaplin. We can't possibly be wrong.
Yeah, no one believed in him.
With his cane and hat
-Just us.
-Okay, let's move on.
Yoan Lesavre!
AGE 29
I'm from Montpellier.
It's great to be here.
Marseille is an amazing city.
You may not know it, but have you
ever seen Welcome to the Sticks?
When he sees
the "Nord-Pas-de-Calais" road sign,
and it starts raining immediately?
Remember that scene?
Marseille is the same. You're driving,
you see the "Marseille" sign
Boom! It smells like weed. What a city!
It's a crazy city! Insane!
I didn't know the sidewalks in Marseille
were for scooters only.
I saw one just now,
three kids, no helmets,
bright neon clothes,
like highlighters on a scooter.
And old lady wearing an OM tracksuit,
and a cap. And they said,
"This is Marseille, old lady!"
It's too much.
Thank you for listening! You were great.
I felt like I was with a friend
who was making me laugh.
With little, simple jokes.
They made me smile, laugh a little,
but not to the point where I'd pay
to watch an hour of it.
It was more like a friend
I'd go see after the show.
Maybe the topics were a little too cute.
There was nothing surprising about it.
That's all.
-Maybe next year.
-Whenever you like.
Thank you very much!
Make some noise for Yoan!
Ms. Hadir!
AGE 22
I used to wonder
why my name is "Hadir."
I asked my dad, and he said
that in Arabic, it means,
"the sound of waves
crashing into each other."
I thought that was cool, poetic.
And I'm always wet,
so it just makes sense.
I learned early on that I like girls.
I'm old enough to be your dad.
Would you tell your dad these jokes?
I don't know.
It felt like I was watching my sister.
It was awkward.
Thanks anyway.
-Saying no
-Feels just awful.
We've had our fair share of noes.
We got rejected a lot early on.
"Another failure!"
-Of course!
-But those rejections
helped us to move forward.
Yeah, they made us dig deeper
and forge our own style.
-Was that the right decision?
-You don't care?
-We're in the yellow seats.
It's our decision!
And that's final.
-Hello, Éric.
-It's a no.
I'm Audrey Baldassare.
I was a firefighter,
but since I was eight,
I've always wanted to do comedy.
I was scared of turning 30,
so I kicked myself in the ass.
I did my first shows, which I bombed,
so I wrote my show, and realized
I loved it and I never want to stop.
Audrey Baldassare!
I take inspiration from
my firefighting days.
I like bringing people into
my slightly crazy world.
In comedy clubs,
girls just don't look like me.
AGE 36
Hello! Hey! What a reception!
All this energy is really contagious,
it's amazing.
I'll try and turn it down a notch.
I do tend to be hyperactive,
plus I did a little coke.
We're going to have a blast!
Just to be clear, that's not true.
I don't do drugs,
but people always thought I did,
ever since kindergarten.
I love talking,
but I don't know when to stop.
To show you how much I like talking
I went out with a deaf chick
and I didn't realize it for a week.
It's a problem.
I didn't even ask how you're doing.
How are you?
I don't usually ask a crowd
because I prefer it when you're sad.
Really. That's why I love
doing shows in Paris.
-It was great!
-That was good.
I usually do that.
It makes me feel like
I have a positive effect on people.
I started doing stand-up in an ambulance.
Because I'm a firefighter, that's why.
Imagine knocking on ambulance windows,
"Anyone wanna laugh?"
That would be weird.
But I did start out that way.
I made jokes to the patients
on their way to the ER.
That's how I got here, I swear.
Thank you.
I swear, it's true. Thank you!
It's a bit of a downer
when your audience ends up dying.
That sucks. They never come see
my show, those bastards.
They're not a reliable audience.
Plus, I never knew if I was killing it,
or if they just died on their own.
It sucks.
No, I prefer this crowd, honestly.
I don't know if any of you have kids.
Wow, amazing. It's a big commitment.
They live a really a long time.
I'm not quite sure yet,
so I've put them in the freezer.
Not my kids, my eggs.
I won't go there. It's very personal.
Okay, I'll tell you!
I don't know if any of you
know about endometriosis?
-I do, it's near Belgium.
I'm lucky enough to have it.
And I don't know if you know this,
but endometriosis hurts a lot.
But you know what hurts me the most?
With all my gynecological issues,
there's more video of me on the inside
than the outside.
It's very frustrating for a comedian.
Technically, my uterus has had
a better career than me.
I hope that one day,
it'll win a César-ian.
Thank you!
Thank you, I had such a good time!
That was great, thank you!
You're really a sight to behold
in real life!
It's because of these seats,
which we found in Ramzy's living room.
You're the impressive one.
Everyone's laughing.
-You got here, and boom!
-Very kind of you.
-I remember all her jokes.
-Which is a good sign.
-So that's a yes.
-It's a yes.
Let's go!
Yes! Thank you guys!
Thank you so much!
-Oh, Audrey.
-Oh, Audrey!
No hesitation, she's a comedian at heart.
She's got the pacing
and the jokes down pat.
The audience was howling.
She used to rescue people,
now she's killing it!
You okay?
Damn, I saw the Devil for a second there.
-No, I'm a pro at stunts.
-He loves it.
Thanks, Audrey. Great job.
See you in a real city next time!
Thank you!
"Stop making fun of Marseille!"
They're clapping their disapproval.
I'm so happy.
It was lit! The audience was so great.
I can't wait to do it again.
I'm so proud. Thank you.
You loved her. It was your style.
Did we make the right decision? Be honest.
Say that again?
Come on.
I've wanted to meet you for so long.
Answer Éric's question.
-Answer the question.
-But wait
I love your show in the hospital.
What? In a hospital?
-With the nurses.
-It's one letter!
It's not that hard. It's just H!
Lucas Hueso!
AGE 23
Happy to be here because, for my day job,
I'm an after-school activity counselor.
And I can't take it anymore.
I need to get out.
This is a cry for help,
ladies and gentlemen.
I was in a packed tram in Lyon
and a kid jumped on me.
"Lucas! Lucas!"
His mom said, "Who are you?"
I said, "I play with your son sometimes."
It was weird.
I have a problem with this
kind of pacing in stand-up,
which we see all the time.
I'm sorry, none of the jokes landed.
Next up, Lisa Mapola!
I suffer from Cuteness Syndrome.
AGE 29
Ever heard of it?
It's when people think you're cute,
but not hot.
I noticed it on my last date.
It was going well until he said to me,
"Lisa, I really think you're cute."
That made me mad.
-The pacing is really off.
-It's a problem.
No! But you agree, right?
"Cute" is a compliment
that should stop after third grade.
No, no.
Lisa, the guy before you was too fast,
but you were too slow.
Maybe you two could team up for a show.
It might turn out amazing.
It's nothing to do with the quality
of your jokes or your set.
There's just a pacing issue.
That's all I wrote down.
For me, it was the jokes too.
-For me, it was the pacing.
-I'd like to see more jokes.
-Do you hate us now?
-No, I love you guys too much to hate you.
We wanted something a bit punchier,
especially in Marseille.
Marseille is the city of jokes and banter.
They say they have the warmth
in their hearts that the sun doesn't have.
-Those who like proverbs will like that.
-They're thrilled.
Now let's welcome
-An AI bot.
This isn't a real person,
this has to be a hologram.
-Let's welcome
-Thomas GT!
AGE 28
Who here's gotten a -32/20
on a dictation exam?
I'm dyslexic, and in third grade,
a teacher once gave me a -32/20.
Circled in red,
with three upside-down "I"s next to it.
And it didn't matter which teacher.
Every year, for the first class,
they'd start the same way.
"Hello, children.
"I'll be your sixth-grade French teacher
this year.
Before we take our big leap
into middle school,
I was told we have
a dyslexic student in the class.
Is that you? What's your name?
Thomas? Welcome. Let's all welcome him.
Welcome, Thomas!
See? Your classmates and I
are here for you.
We're all here to help you.
Do you understand? Yes? No?
Do you need a sign language interpreter?
Okay, okay."
Every first class of the year,
that's what I got.
The teachers didn't understand
that dyslexia just means I mix up letters.
An M could be a W or an N.
An A could be an O or an E
A D could be a Q, B, or P.
My brain sends me words but taken apart.
Thankfully, we now have
dyslexia ambassadors.
They help to explain it to the public.
That is, rappers.
When I heard Plus, they're from here.
When I heard the rapper Naps
singing that "J is a S"
I liked that one.
I thought,
"Wow, we really get each other."
We speak the same language.
Thanks, Naps!
And it's not just Naps,
lots of rappers say, "S 'be' H."
They're total geniuses!
They make our lives easier.
Because if J is a G, and S "be" H,
how many letters can be replaced by an H?
Three letters for one.
These guys are geniuses.
Do you understand when I speak?
Yes? No?
That's okay.
I'm proud of my dyslexia.
I'm proud to be on stage
with you here in Marseille.
And I'm very happy to meet Éric and Ramzy,
so I can finally say thank you.
For appearing in the one show
I could write and pronounce correctly
as a kid.
Thank you very much!
Thank you, Thomas!
So you're dyslexic, just like Ramzy.
Not as much as you are, I think.
At the start, it was cute.
But then I got a little lost.
Then you got me back with the S and H.
I agree. When you started, I liked it,
but he lost me.
All that sign language stuff
That was great.
Yeah, it was good pacing.
I still feel like
I'm watching a friend, once again.
Not a
-Let me finish!
-I said "a friend."
Let me finish!
He's like a friend who,
after dinner, says,
"Let me make you laugh."
Then gets up on the table. It's risky.
Usually, my friends are
funny sitting down.
But if he stands up and says,
"Everyone listen," that's a risk.
But when he said, "Everyone listen,"
and started with the S "be" H
it made me laugh.
So I thought
Do you understand when I talk?
He won over the audience.
And this isn't an easy venue.
-How was he?
-It's like being in a fridge.
-Thomas, you're coming with us to Paris!
-Thanks, Éric!
-Thank you, Thomas. Well done.
-Thank you!
Thank you!
I'd like to thank the Marseille audience.
Thank you very much.
You lifted me up and supported me.
Thank you, Marseille.
Thank you, Marseille!
-Let's bring the winners back out.
-Bring back the winners, please!
Ayrton Gomes!
Audrey Baldassare!
Thomas GT!
Make some noise for
the winners from Marseille!
See you all later!
-Thank you.
-So long, Marseille!
Now, another city, another sense of humor.
Next stop, Brussels.
We expect a lot from Brussels.
This is a country
where we've performed a lot
and laughed a lot, too.
-They're funny.
They have to be funny here
because it's so gray outside.
-Ah, Brussels!
Here we are, Brussels.
Damn it, my white sneakers! Brussels!
So, Éric, I know this city very well.
Come on, this way.
People are already eating fries
at this time of day?
-The most emblematic thing here
-Is the fries.
The Manneken-Pis. He's this big.
Let's go knock him down.
-Let's piss on the Manneken-Pis.
-This way.
Think anyone has ever done that?
I doubt it, he's high up. I tried.
It gets all over your face.
The Manneken-Pis!
It's alive!
Ramzy, it would be great to say
that we didn't find laughs here,
-but we found love.
Come on, we want love, not laughs.
Let's start flirting.
Ladies! Step right up!
-Step right up!
-Let's go, ladies!
Our hearts are up for grabs!
It's the Korean Éric and Ramzy!
Good evening, Brussels!
Good evening!
-You good, Brussels?
You should know,
we love it here in Brussels.
It's such a sunny city.
We've been walking all day.
It's been wonderful.
You even got a tan!
-You're tanned!
-With positive vibes.
But we're going to
have fun this afternoon.
We'll bring in a bit of sunshine.
Time to hand it over. Thank you, Brussels!
It's your turn, Brussels!
Note that this venue is awful for comedy
-We noticed
The roof is high. So technically speaking,
the laughter will get lost
in such an enormous space.
So don't laugh like this.
-Or like this.
-Laugh at the stage. Aim well.
Like this.
Like a burp, but make it a laugh.
And aim well.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our first artist from Brussels.
-At least, I hope he's from here.
-And that he's funny.
-Mr. Brahms!
-Come on, Brahms!
Good evening, Brussels!
Make some noise!
You all look great. Hello, Éric and Ramzy.
Good evening.
I'm happy to be on stage.
AGE 35
I've been doing this six years.
I never thought I'd be able to.
Why? Maybe you can hear it,
I used to stutter.
Can you hear it? You can tell me.
Okay, cool. But I wasn't just a stutterer.
I was a stutterer in Paris.
You know how Parisians are?
They don't have time to stutter.
Let's be honest here.
"Bro, you're really stuttering!"
"Do I hear a stutter?"
"Because it's really funny."
"Go see a speech therapist!"
-He's pretty good.
-Yeah, I like him.
-He has a flow.
Who's seen a stutterer
try to say something?
It's like a seizure.
One eye on Ramzy, the other on Éric.
We can't talk, our mouth won't open.
Sometimes, we stutter so much,
we close both eyes.
I don't know why.
Just to say, "You."
They say it comes from emotional trauma.
But I don't remember any.
I just know that it made me impulsive.
Kids would make fun of me.
They called me "No-Signal."
I swear, or "No-Network-Connection."
Since I sometimes repeated words,
they'd say, "Here comes Oui-Oui."
So you see how creative people can be.
So I'd hit them and stutter less.
Thank you, that was fun.
Well done!
-Brahms, ladies and gentlemen!
-Thank you very much.
Bravo, Brahms.
Was that "Oui-Oui" story true?
Yeah, they called me "Oui-Oui."
I'd be like, "you-you."
Sorry for laughing, but
Being the class clown was helpful.
I needed the affection.
I had family problems, go figure.
-Damn uncle!
So anyway, I felt all the love
from my classmates thanks to my humor,
so I liked it and I developed it.
And in order to be funny,
you need to be relaxed
-and spontaneous
-Too long, but good answer.
I don't stutter anymore,
so I'm making the most of it.
Ramzy, in my opinion
He deserves it.
-Should we?
-He's so charming.
-Okay, let's do it.
-Let's go!
You're coming with us!
-Well done.
-Thank you so much, Éric.
You're coming straight to Paris!
Brahms, ladies and gentlemen!
No words. I'm so happy.
I've been doing this for six years.
I saw my chance and I took it.
I hope it'll continue on like this.
-Now it's time for Nathalie
AGE 35
Hello, everyone! Good evening, Brussels!
-Hello, mentors.
I'm so happy to be here.
My name is Nathalie.
I've been in a relationship for 17 years.
You don't seem very impressed, fine.
It's not like it was
a daily struggle or anything.
But you're right, I didn't win
Survivor or anything.
But I've been sitting on the same pole
for 17 years. Impressive!
That was a good one!
It may seem weird,
but our fights are better
since we had a baby two years ago.
He doesn't understand words yet.
So we still argue, but we keep smiling.
"I'm going to fuck you up."
"I'm going to beat your ass
if you don't leave this room now."
"Oh, daddy's gone
"before I punch his nose in."
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
I have to admit,
if we're doing an analysis right now,
I think the set lacked any jokes
that connected with me.
It wasn't her, it was her topic
was a little tired.
She didn't take things anywhere.
She just came to talk
about her relationship.
-Add something else.
-We've already got our own relationships.
So listening to someone
talking about theirs
It's not for us, I'm sorry.
-Thank you very much.
Thank you.
-Thank you, and well done.
-Thank you so much!
Nathalie, a 17-year relationship,
and five years doing stand-up.
Next up,
-It's your turn!
-Good evening!
-Good evening.
AGE 26
This 360-degree stage is weird.
Some of you see my face, others, my ass.
Which is worse?
Well, that's not the topic at hand.
The topic is me.
Because I'm self-centered.
Here we go.
So, when I was little,
I used to love dancing.
So I'd watch the music videos
of my favorite singers,
I'd go to my room
and recreate the music videos.
Then I'd invite my family
to watch my "ferpormance."
I had two idols at the time,
Lorie and the Pussycat Dolls.
Five girls lip-synching
and rubbing on pipes.
I didn't know that the Pussycat Dolls
weren't as innocent as Lorie.
I didn't know that when
I'd rub up against the chair,
I just looked like a little prostitute.
I didn't know!
Yeah, clap.
My dad knew.
My dad would cry tears of blood, guys.
It was unbelievable.
If he knew what I rub up on now,
he'd want the chairs back.
One day, the Pussycat Dolls
decided to stop singing.
So I decided to stop dancing.
I was so let down, I couldn't go on.
My dad lit a candle to thank baby Jesus.
My dad didn't need to worry, though.
I was an ugly kid.
My bangs were cut to here. On purpose!
I had a unibrow, I was covered in hair,
I looked like
A feminist. Great!
Yeah. Even Epstein didn't want me.
-That's it for me.
-Thank you!
Thank you.
-Well done, Manola.
-Thank you.
You sometimes go off-track.
-Way off-track.
-That Epstein joke
Your topics are hard-core. It's wild.
-And you brag about it.
-Yeah, I like bragging.
It's incredible.
I don't usually like that. What about you?
She's got me perplexed.
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